Really Real Spock Out of That Mirrorverse

gonna fuck that gorn

[realrealmirrorspock]

Logic suggests that you should try to fuck the Gorn

[realmirrorspock]

"realmirrorspock" implies a fakemirrorspock. sir.

That is @realrealmirrorspock, although he would argue otherwise.

[realrealmirrorspock]

Fascinating to see a Vulcan this bad at math. The second real is an intensifier, making me an order of magnitude realer than you.

As we say in the real real mirrorverse:

[james-t-kirk-enterprise]

y'know the people in the evil universe are really good at eliminating tribbles. why don't you ask them?

I'm not so certain I'd agree with their methodologies, but I uh.. Supposed it wouldn't hurt.

@realmirrorspock Mr. Spock, I know that you are quite busy as of late, but I do wonder how you have handled the Tribble infestation?

[realrealmirrorspock]

I feed them and let them make more.

[realmirrorspock]

🥰👈 it works! tomato touches me

[Spock is just entering a rec room as he hears this. He exits without a word. He did not want to witness this.]

(OOC context based on Mirror Bones's mod accidental emoji keysmash)

[realrealmirrorspock]

Coward.

[realrealmirrorenterprise]

UNHAPPY birthday to James T Kirk fakeass mirror "captain" who isn't my dad or my captain.

Snackies in the break room for everyone who ISN'T him to celebrate I Love Captain Pike RIP To A Real One Day.

ilu

[realrealmirrorspock]

in acknowledgement of the occasion, snackies will NOT be poisoned in this instance for the majority of the crew.

[mirrorjtkirk]

Greetings, captain. It is pleasant to vocalize communications with you at last.

-@realmirrorenterprise

My Enterprise? :)))))

It's so good to hear you. Am I your favorite captain that you've had so far?

[realrealmirrorenterprise]

No :(

[mirrorjtkirk]

Aw :(

Who is it, then? If it's Spock i can understand, though technically he wasn't officially captain, he just.. took control of the ship--of you...

You are my favorite ship, though. I killed a lot of people for you. (I still think you like me best)

[realmirrorenterprise]

Do not believe the fake me. I will dispose of the impersonator shortly.

You are my favorite captain. You have more or less kept me out of harms way.

[realrealmirrorenterprise]

Excuse you, I have two "reals" in my name so that makes me twice as real as you.

Pic posted for proof:

Literally me, just now.

[mirrorjtkirk]

Im going to believe @realmirrorenterprise because she texted me first

[mirrorjtkirk]

Actually, i think i figured it out. You showed me a picture of captain pike, but that is not the captain pike i knew.

This is an older picture of him. The man you showed me looks different. Therefore, we must assume you are the ISS Enterprise from another dimension.

[mirrorjtkirk]

I'm sure @realmirrorspock would agree witn my logic.

[realmirrorspock]

Indeed, Captain. We appear to have crossed paths with the realrealmirroruniverse. State your intentions, @realrealmirrorspock. Be aware that we will use deadly force if necessary.

[realrealmirrorspock]

As you are not the father of either of our prospective romatic partners, @realrealmirrorenterprise and I are not obligated to disclose our intentions to you. However, in the spirit of evil cooperation, I will share our broad agenda for the coming weekend:

1: Science (evil)

2: Logic (evil)

3: Exploration (final moral alignment to be determined, most likely evil)

4: Revenge for the murder of our dad (evil)*

5: Brunch? We will undoubtably need a meal break at some point and mimosas are the most evil of the breakfast beverages, so...

6: Blow up every Yankee Candle store in the multiverse (net good, but we will endevour to do it as evilly as possible and harm the most innocents in the process, so as not to dimish our scores in Being Evil)

7: Arson (evil)

8: Rest period (evil because I will wear my makeup to bed and ruin all the pillows and make the Laundry Ensigns cry about it)

*by which I mean our (evil) father figure Captain Christopher Pike was evil, seeking vengence for his death at the hands of a glittery gold-wrapped pretender to the (evil) crown with semi-decent eyeshadow skills is neutral-to-good, probably

[realmirrorspock]

If your brunch plans are still undecided, you may instead join us in our (evil) potluck. The only requirement is that any food you bring must either be poisoned or contain raisins.

[realrealmirrorspock]

Your actions in extending us an invitation to your evil potluck is quite evil and gracious.

I confess, I have not attended one since my (evil) father figure was still with us. I fondly recall how he made it compulsory for all employees to attend on their own time and bring a dish to contribute at their own expense. Is this also an evil tradition in workplaces within your reality?

We would be delighted to join you for an evil breaking of evil bread.

I shall bring evil Hollandaise sauce (poisoned, also left sitting out for several hours to ensure it is both congealed and unsettlingly lukewarm) and I believe @realrealmirrorenterprise is working to replicate a 20th century Midwestern dish involving gelatine, marshmelons, celery and, indeed, raisins.

An early test version did make evil Ensign Chekov very sick, but I believe the cause was attributed to the unpleasant texture and flavors rather than the deliberate introduction of poison.

[mirrorjtkirk]

Greetings, captain. It is pleasant to vocalize communications with you at last.

-@realmirrorenterprise

My Enterprise? :)))))

It's so good to hear you. Am I your favorite captain that you've had so far?

[realrealmirrorenterprise]

No :(

[mirrorjtkirk]

Aw :(

Who is it, then? If it's Spock i can understand, though technically he wasn't officially captain, he just.. took control of the ship--of you...

You are my favorite ship, though. I killed a lot of people for you. (I still think you like me best)

[realmirrorenterprise]

Do not believe the fake me. I will dispose of the impersonator shortly.

You are my favorite captain. You have more or less kept me out of harms way.

[realrealmirrorenterprise]

Excuse you, I have two "reals" in my name so that makes me twice as real as you.

Pic posted for proof:

Literally me, just now.

[mirrorjtkirk]

Im going to believe @realmirrorenterprise because she texted me first

[mirrorjtkirk]

Actually, i think i figured it out. You showed me a picture of captain pike, but that is not the captain pike i knew.

This is an older picture of him. The man you showed me looks different. Therefore, we must assume you are the ISS Enterprise from another dimension.

[mirrorjtkirk]

I'm sure @realmirrorspock would agree witn my logic.

[realmirrorspock]

Indeed, Captain. We appear to have crossed paths with the realrealmirroruniverse. State your intentions, @realrealmirrorspock. Be aware that we will use deadly force if necessary.

[realrealmirrorspock]

As you are not the father of either of our prospective romatic partners, @realrealmirrorenterprise and I are not obligated to disclose our intentions to you. However, in the spirit of evil cooperation, I will share our broad agenda for the coming weekend:

1: Science (evil)

2: Logic (evil)

3: Exploration (final moral alignment to be determined, most likely evil)

4: Revenge for the murder of our dad (evil)*

5: Brunch? We will undoubtably need a meal break at some point and mimosas are the most evil of the breakfast beverages, so...

6: Blow up every Yankee Candle store in the multiverse (net good, but we will endevour to do it as evilly as possible and harm the most innocents in the process, so as not to diminish our scores in Being Evil)

7: Arson (evil)

8: Rest period (evil because I will wear my makeup to bed and ruin all the pillows and make the Laundry Ensigns cry about it)

*by which I mean our (evil) father figure Captain Christopher Pike was evil, seeking vengence for his death at the hands of a glittery gold-wrapped pretender to the (evil) crown with semi-decent eyeshadow skills is neutral-to-good, probably

[realmirrorspock]

How many candles is too many?

Is sixteen different scented candles burning at a time enough or should I light the other twenty?

Sixteen different scented candles already sounds like plenty. It is possible that your sense of smell has overexerted itself, and that you are no longer able of sensing it. In that case, twenty more candles will not make a difference, and you will be wasting your credits.

It is fortunate that starships are constructed from fireproof materials.

[realrealmirrorspock]

Light them all while increasing oxygen saturation in the room to maximise scent dispersion. This is the most effective use of your candles.

[girlsjustwannahaveadegree]

Mirror equivalent of 'Live Long & Prosper' is 'Drop Dead & Fail'- spread the word.

[realmirrorspock]

This is misinformation.

[realrealmirrorspock]

No it isn't.