[stella-draws-things]

[tackminyard]

affirmations for my printer:

you are not out of paper

you have so much paper

it’s okay to function as intended

you are not out of ink

i just refilled that cartridge last month

you can connect to that computer you’re supposed to connect to

you’re allowed to print things

[catchymemes]

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

Tried to tip a tumblr blog at 1am and it was such a suspicious transaction it immediately put a full fraud freeze on my account

Fortunately, banks no longer just ask 'did you make that transaction' they want to make sure you weren't scammed into making that transaction and 5mins after their call will give away all your money anyway.

This is an honest to goodness life saving movement and I cannot be happier banks are adopting it

Unfortunately, it meant I had to have the most embarrassing financial call of my life

-

Me: Ah yeah I was just trying to tip a tumblr blog

Cash: right and were you directed there by a Facebook link? An Instagram advert?

Me: no I was just on tumblr...on purpose

-

Caah: and this person asked you for money?

Me: oh no they just had a funny story, which happened to be about money and I thought, "wouldn't it be funny if I tipped them"

-

Me: * covering a reblog by reblog update on the adventures my mutual was having *

Cash: okay I don't think that can actually happen though..

Me: It might not have, but i was happy to tip them just because it was funny

-

Cash: and how well do you think you know this person?

Me: *considers explaining how much I know about a beloved mutual without ever knowing their name or face* ... I have no idea who this person is

I think in the end Cash decided there was no saving me from myself

[dungeon-moss]

[nyaa]

[幾田]

[animentality]

[arrowandaxe]

[bee-in-your-binnet]

Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated

[gallusrostromegalus]

Thoughts, in approximate order:

You know, given how C. lupus, C. lupus familiaris, and C. latrans can all create perfectly viable hybrids, and that the proto-dogs that domestic dogs descended from much more resembled coyotes than wolves, it's not really a surprise that some yotes are experimenting with domestication.

Goddamn that lady must be fucking shredded to be able to chase down a coyote through a swamp.

"Don't let wild animals into your house, you are not going to make Dogs 2.0, you're going to get injured and the animal killed." is probably obvious enough advice that I don't need to put it in the tags as a reminder.

...I know more than four people on this site that have poisoned themselves trying out 'foraging guides' they found online, two people IRL who tried to keep raccoons at pets, and have a family member who got hospitalized for Cat Scratch Fever after grabbing a feral cat bare-handed. This is apparently, not obvious enough.

Do Not Attempt To Domesticate Coyotes

[ray-okumura]

[mousegirlheart]

If you are having trouble catching that mouse, then perhaps it is not meant to be. Perhaps try something else? Maybe a cockroach, or a lizard. Mice do not taste that good, regardless. I recommend abandoning pursuit of mice altogether. Meow.

[sgt-cookie-2]

Me (A time traveler visiting 20-year old Mozart): OK, so, this is called an electric guitar, basically instead of the body functioning as a resonance chamber, it produces music by harnessing the power of lightning. Do you have any other questions?

Mozart (Currently shredding Violin Concerto No. 1 on the guitar, having figured it out within 30 seconds): What other music can be made from harnessed lightning?

Me (Loading up some heavy dubstep): Oh, we're just getting started.

[callizinc]

When the story has a sequence where the characters each get personally tortured with their exact personalized greatest fears and traumas

[positive-pumpkin]

If this is the sign you're looking for, please

stay alive

stay safe

Drink some water

eat something

get back into the things you love

Unclench your jaw

do some self-care

Take a shower or bath

Take your med(s)

[dogpuppy]

[creepycrag]

Needlessly poetic in a way that draws your credibility into question. The whimsical typography also reduces the gravity of the statement. Please see the revised edition attached below.

[podcastwizard]

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

[podcastwizard]

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

[catboybiologist]

[streetsamurai]

[bamsara]

i am not nice, i am actaully very mean inside and i think physcially fighting and tearing until blood is drawn will be more satisfying than any internet discourse will ever be

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

[bamsara]

I am being scritched

[rylandgraces]

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

[sharkwave-zee]

i ask the genie if i can have a hug. "no no, you have to say 'i wish' or else it's-" they start to say, stopping when they see the deep sadness in my eyes. they give me a hug

[sharkwave-zee]

years later the genie asks me if i remember that and we both have a good laugh about it (i used a wish to free the genie and we're dating now)