ellievsbear
almost home
Jules of Nature
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Misplaced Lens Cap
Mike Driver
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ojovivo
KIROKAZE
Sade Olutola
if i look back, i am lost
oozey mess
Janaina Medeiros
Game of Thrones Daily
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@reattachmcnts
you're tainted, i'm shaking / i hope you turn around in time / tide's changing, i'm waiting / you and i are one of a kind
Selective low activity indie multi-muse. OCs and canons. Loved by JULES.
↳ will tag #nsfw and #trigger tw posts
GUIDELINES.
MUSE LIST.
OPEN STARTERS.
WISHLIST.
Alysa Liu leaving the ice after her free skate!
OLYMPICS 2026 | February 19, 2026
closed starter for @reattachmcnts
Estella collapsed down onto the stool in the corner of the ring with a hiss of pain. Blood spilled down over her left eye, and steady hands reached into her space to hurriedly wipe it away. Heavier hands pressed gauze against her eyebrow. It's one shot, Estella. You've had her on the defensive the whole time. A gruff voice insisted somewhere next to her. Her trainer. Her actual legitimate trainer at this actual legitimate broadcasted fight.
She could barely focus on the face as she fought to catch her breath, blinking through the sweat and smudges of red. Someone poured water into her mouth and as the buzzer rang out, hands forced her guard back over her teeth. There was just a moment as she stood back up that her eyes drifted to the crowd. Right back to the spot that had caught her attention earlier. The place where a few of her friends were gathered, but most significantly, where Maya was also sat.
Estella won the fight that round with a technical knockout, her eyes yet again seeking out that same spot in the crowd as the referee lifted her arm into the air. Distantly, hidden beneath the throbbing pain in her face and dull ache in her arms, she felt the pain of seeing the other's face bubbling up inside her too. The pain, it never took longer than a moment to remind herself, she had put there. Pain that Maya also carried and that had been so clear the last time their paths had crossed. Something Estella had not forced again.
The pain shifted into a sense of disappointment as she walked out onto the busy concourse after sorting her shit and was greeted by enthusiasm from all of her friends... but no sight of Maya. I’m hurt, and I know you know that. Those words had rung in her head every day since their last encounter, and Jen's angry tone had intertwined with it. But what had lingered the most was her ex-girlfriend's sad, sweet eyes and all the hurt Estella had put there.
"I'll be back." She mumbled, offering a tight smile to her friends before pushing past them. Her head ached and not just from the pounding in her jaw and eyebrow. Thoughts were starting to spill in, the noticeable absence of the one person she really craved to see sitting deeper than any bruise. The one person she likely didn't deserve to see. Even though she so desperately wanted to. She could change. Would change. Was changing.
Estella pushed open the back doors and stepped out into the parking lot. She breathed in hard, shoving her hair away from her face and blinking in the low light. As her eyes adjusted, she scanned the parking lot ahead of her and felt the breath rush out of her lungs. Maya. If no one else had been in that crowd, she wouldn't have cared... because Maya had been. If she never got to love another person again... that would be okay because she had loved Maya. She only wanted to love Maya.
Slowly she lifted her hand and waved, a nervous smile softening her lips and crinkling the corners of her eyes.
Things were not great these days, but definitely better than those first fresh weeks. Maya went back to her usual schedule at the cafe. She got good at unloading the shipments that came in every week. She'd even been to a couple sessions of therapy with someone she didn't absolutely hate. Lane helped her make sense of some things, like that leaving didn't make her the devil. And that being mad at Este for this long was normal. And that unfortunately these things took time and it was okay for her to still cry in the walk-in every so often when certain songs came up on the cafe's endless playlist. It didn't shrink the hole that stung in Maya's chest, but it did make it easier to step around it so she could keep living her life.
Which is why she'd agreed to Jen's suggestion that they all go in a big group to support Este's next boxing bout ("because when has she ever done a legit match, like ever?"). And from a couple of hundred feet away, this was actually doable. She could even find it in herself to clap a little when Este was declared the victor. In the so-called friend divorce, Maya had definitely come out ahead, but none of the group really stopped loving Este. Este was just acting stupid, was the usual refrain from them. If they couldn't be a couple anymore, they could all still be friends. She would come around, and then everything would be normal again. Este, to her credit, had left Maya alone since their last attempt at talking things out.
So she couldn't blame them at all when the group collectively decided to push towards the stage after the match. Maya hung back for a minute, eyes lingering on Este's swelling brow. Dozens of previous nights came back to her when she'd be fussing over her with ice packs for the pain and kisses for the pride. For a moment she thought she heard her name somewhere in the air as if someone was asking for her, and that was enough for Maya to dip out of the venue and to the parking lot for a breather. Jen would know to find her out there later.
Maya had a few minutes to herself on a nearby bench until the door opened again and Este stepped into the night. From a few feet away, Maya just turned her head a little and stared, doe-eyed until Este waved at her. It felt so awkward, hesitant, so unlike Este that no initial irritation came to Maya like she expected. Just familiarity. It was... almost nice.
She hesitated before returning the smile. (If this blew up in her face, she had a session with Lane tomorrow, at least.)
"Heading out so soon? You should let Jen and them treat you out. They were really excited to come out."
open to: all
muse: meera mathai, pop star and former girl group member
connection: pr relationship - and as part of their contract y/m is meera's date to another celebrity's wedding
A few glasses of bubbly and Meera had run out of niceties to give to the people around her at the reception. "C'mon, you weenie," she whined in their ear from the table, tugging at their sleeve. "You've already made us miss two Bad Bunny songs. Dancing with me is the literal least you can do. Believe me, you don't want me to make a scene on my own." / @indiestarter
In memory of Naya Rivera (12th January 1987 - 8th July 2020)
SANTANA LOPEZ in Glee (2009 - 2015)
I love girls the way that I’m supposed to feel about boys. It’s just something that’s always been inside of me and I really want to share it with you because I love you so much. I want you to know me, who I really am. When I’m with Brittany, I finally understand what people are talking about when they talk about love. I’ve tried so hard to push this feeling away and keep it locked inside, but every day just feels like a war. And I walk around so mad at the world, but I’m really just fighting with myself. I don’t want to fight anymore. I’m just too tired. I have to just be me
LUCY LIU | Criterion Closet (2025)
open to all
muse: harrison jung, bartender
plot: my muse tries to stand up for your muse in a bar but unfortunately cannot fight for shit (x)
Harrison wiped at his bruising cheek, watching the creep leave the bar. Sure, Harrison had gotten one punch in, but then he'd received several much harder ones in return. He'd regret this in the morning. "Yeah, get the fuck outta here," he drawled to the almost empty bar. He poured himself an amber shot, raising an aching eyebrow next to him. "If you can avoid posting that video you took of me getting my ass beaten... happy to pour you one, too, on the house."
blaine’s body somehow both tenses and relaxes as he feels sam lean into him. his heart skips a beat at the request. he knows it’s platonic, but it makes him feel good in a way. wanted. needed. ❝ yeah— yeah! i mean. i mean, no. no, that’s… that’s fine. ❞ in all honesty he just hopes that his father isn’t going to have something to say about it. but even if he did, graduation was six months away, and then he’ll be out of ohio, for good.
he pulls away from the other for a moment, scooting back a little to assess the size of his bed. he had a queen. that was more than big enough for the two of them, but is that what sam meant? or was someone moving to the chair? ❝ i can sleep in the chair, if you want. ❞ blaine decides. ❝ ‘cause i get it if you're— i don’t want you to be uncomfortable. ❞
His eyelids are already drooping, feeling lighter now that he's unloaded some of the racing thoughts from his mind. Blaine was just so good at being steady, solid. It was the kind of dependable kindness that Sam needed.
"What? C'mon," he chuckles a little in disbelief. "It's fine, we'll share. This is huge," he gestures to the bed they're on. "Back when I was in boarding school we'd share beds all the time. I'm not gonna like, freak out." He rolls to one side of the bed and pats the empty side next to him.
"i've proven time and time again that i can, so don't pull that you say nonsense on me," she shrugged, keeping her tone level as she stared back into the other woman's face. "thank god for that, at least."
She focused on her own breath, reminding herself that she loved their late friends more than she disliked Tatianna (but barely). "So, what'll it be then? You do weekdays and I take her on the weekends? She'll need a routine we can stick to."
better ways to meet
tired of bumping into each other in the coffee shop? try these:
muse a tries to stand up for muse b in a bar but unfortunately cannot fight for shit.
muse a is having plumbing troubles in their new house and muse b says they can fix it: except they can’t, they just wanted to spend more time with the cute neighbor. (bonus if muse a has to spend the night at muse b’s place because of it)
muse a works somewhere that’s open late and muse b comes in to take shelter from the storm.
muse a is assigned to be muse b’s partner in an undercover assignment.
muse a needs money and signs up to be in muse b’s clinical trials. (bonus if some kind of accident gives muse a superpowers and unwittingly makes muse b their accomplice in their goals)
muse b is a siren and muse a is one of the few people immune to their song, so after drowning the rest of the crew the two are stuck together.
muse b accidentally creates muse a, the world’s very first AI. (Can work with or without a body for muse a, or muse b can struggle to build a body for muse a)
muse a and muse b as Olympic athletes forced to do PR together, photo shoots, interviews, cheese montages.
muse b is an anent for a time travel protection agency and has been assigned to protect muse a after they have been targeted by another time traveler.
muse b is in love with muse a, but muse doesn’t love them back. At some point the two have a one night stand and makes matters more complex (via rachel).
at the near slip up, tatianna quirked a brow over at ellie, then glanced back at the little girl. "it's a good thing you caught yourself, because i was gonna remind you otherwise." she snorted. "she's four. she's at the age where she repeats everything she hears." that was a lesson she had to learn-- and re-learn the first few times, given that just a few days ago, she'd slipped up at least twice. she sighed. "what are you gonna do? just pass her around like hot potato while you work? i'm a grown woman, i can handle things."
Somehow even when Ellie agreed with Tatianna, she was annoyed with her. "Obviously. It hasn't been that long, I'm still adjusting. And time management is pretty much my whole job, Tee. Pretty sure I can handle it just as well as you say you could," she challenged, proud of herself for staying calm. Hey, progress was progress. "She'll be in school soon anyway. When that happens, neither of us need to see each other during the day."
starter for @ungratcful, based on #1 here
"Any other time and I'd be fuc—freakin' happy to go back and forth a hundred rounds with you, but we actually have someone's life in our hands now, remember? So we need to make a decision today." Ellie blew out a sigh, glancing at the small girl thankfully preoccupied by a coloring book in her living room. There were so many things Ellie had to hold in her mind these days. No swearing, no smoking, no TV shows with anything remotely violent. Her normal levels of anxiety had only tripled since that phone call a week ago. The paperwork had just been the start of it. Then there were the court appearances. And she didn't trust her co-parent (if you could call them that) to handle any of it without her there. "I still think she should stay with me most days. There's a lot of other parents in City Hall; I can make the scheduling work."
❝ i know. ❞ he doesn’t, really. it’s more of a filler statement while he’s actually thinking of something to say. he’d had such a priveleged life, at least financially. his dad was a breadwinner, albeit a complete asshole most of the time. but it was great that he was letting sam stay over. he would probably freak if he knew sam had come in blaine’s room, but his dad was a heavy sleeper. he wasn’t too worried.
but he was worried about sam- he was in pretty bad shape, mentally. understandably so. blaine couldn’t totally relate to his situation, but he wanted to be there for him. ❝ it’s gonna work out. i promise. i can tutor you in— well, everything— and no one’s gonna let anything happen to you guys. you’re not going anywhere. okay? ❞
he offers a weak smile at the brittany comment. he’s glad for sam— really. jealousy is there, especially since him and kurt were “on a break” but now isn’t the time. he tugs a shirt back over his head before scooting to the end of the bed to sit next to him. ❝ what do you need? ❞
Sam tried to let Blaine's words comfort him. "Yeah, tutoring. Y'know, I'm actually okay right now in Chem. But the other stuff..." he trailed off, not wanting to think too deeply about the mountain of reading he'd already fallen behind in. The Catcher In The Rye was going to have to wait. He knew he should've asked for accommodations in the beginning of the school year to get ahead of his dyslexia, his work schedule, all of it. His pride had delayed him asking, and he just never expected his life to blow up so suddenly. Not to mention the student council stuff. Admittedly Sam hadn't ever been on top of that, but it was just another thing to add to the pile.
He turned to look at Blaine, brow furrowed. "You've already given me a lot. Letting me stay here, and listening. Seriously, I don't know who else to talk to. Mr. Schue knows about the school stuff, just not the other stuff. I just want to feel normal again. Like the universe isn't trying to screw me over." He leaned over and rested his cheek against Blaine's shoulder, deep in thought. "...Would it be weird if I slept in here? I'm used to sharing, so your living room is kinda... loud, somehow."
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Estella's friends, including their shared friends, had made their thoughts and opinions very clear from the moment the news about their break-up had spread. Maybe you shouldn't come to drinks, E. Are you fucking serious, Este? So you're gonna fix this, right?! Dude, we spoke about you getting your shit together - wtf! F-U-M-B-L-E. And Este had truly agreed with every single one of them, but agreeing with them didn't exactly fix everything. Not even close. Laying about and thinking about how badly she'd fucked up didn't help much either. And to add to all of it, turning up announced at the cafe definitely didn't seem to be going any better.
When Maya didn't hold back even the slightest with her first statement, Este felt every shred of hope in her chest evaporate. She had no punches of her own to throw, and she just had to let every word of the other's hit... because she was right. Estella knew how fucking right Maya was. Breathing in deeply, she stared down at her feet and let the words wash over her in powerful waves. Este wasn't even sure where it had started to unravel beyond her control. The odd night here and there of acting a little more cold and defensive. Missed dinners to square up against a nameless stranger in the ring. Her final fight before the break-up where she'd actually felt scared she might not go home to Maya in one piece. The way her self-esteem had crumbled and blown Maya's hopefulness apart with it.
"Fun?" She asked in complete disbelief as her eyes flicked to her ex-girlfriend's. "Is that a serious question, Maya?" She fought to keep her voice level, but she could already feel the heat pouring up her neck as her heart started to thunder. Nothing had ever felt less fun in Este's entire life. It felt agonising to even think about spending the rest of her life without the other. She shook her head and breathed out hard.
"I'm not trying to act like nothing happened, and maybe I should have texted, but holy shit, Maya..." Her hands were trembling slightly as tried her hardest not to bunch them into fists. "I know that I blew this up. I fucked up. I fucked us up." Este's chest shuddered as she pulled in a harsh breath, fighting another losing battle to stay fully composed. "That's all I've thought about for eight days, and it fucking hurts. I hurt you. I hurt you so badly."
Her shoulders sagged and she looked at Maya's face. The most beautiful face to her in the entire world. The face she was so used to pressing her lips against or running her thumb across. Soft smiles across the pillow. The way her eyes had brightened when Este had brought her home a little gift. Gentle gazes across busy rooms. "I want to talk. I want to apologize. I - I can also just... go. I don't want to, but I can't force you to do anything."
She was prouder of herself than she’d ever admit, standing her ground and not immediately softening to Este’s earnest eyes like many, many times before. In her head and her heart, she was still making excuses for Este. Maya still looked at her and had to stop her legs from running into Este and letting her hug her so hard the breath left her lungs (courtesy of her strong arms). Her voice still came in her dreams and her side of the bed still remained empty and somehow still smelled like her even after two rounds of laundry. Turns out it was really hard to erase what Maya had written in pen years ago.
“No, it’s obviously not seriously a question,” she gave a hollow laugh, holding onto the little rage that lingered. “But it’s how you’re acting. I’m done listening to you say sorry, okay? It’s done, I’m hurt, and I know you know that. Nothing’s different from eight days ago.” Wow, that one stung to say. Maya did her best to try and continue putting smaller items away, because she needed things to be ready for open and her regulars at the cafe could not see her like this. Miraculously she’d still been able to show up to make coffees and small talk with guests, but they’d been subject to a week’s worth of “sad girl music” in return. She’d taken extra breaks in the walk-in fridge to let herself cry it out in between rushes. Being around customers all in their own little worlds reminded her of how alone she felt.
“You do need to go. I’m serious. When… I mean, if we talk, it can’t be here,” she tripped over her words and kicked herself for it. “T-this is my space, okay? And Jen is coming through to help put up holiday decorations, and you know she’s going to be mad if she sees you here.” She knew it was pathetic she had to drag their mutual friend into this as ammo, but Maya was low on emotional support these days. Just go, her mind pleaded. There was only so much time before she’d break down all over again.
i’ve just re-read about 800 pages of an old rp blog and am now craving toxic, avoidant, will-they/won’t-they wlw that is all
open to all!
❝ i’ll be in here if you need me. i mean it. ❞ he gazes out at the other in the living room who had set up for the night on his couch. it was the least he could do — offer them a safe place to stay, somewhere warm. a cup of hot tea sits on the coffee table, untouched so far, next to a couple extra blankets and pillows. he’d even turned some music on, barely loud enough to be audible.
he finishes getting ready for bed himself — brushes his teeth, takes his shirt off, scrolls down instagram for a little bit. it feels like he’s only been asleep for five minutes before he awakes to the sound of footsteps, then the foot of his bed sinking somewhat as the other sits.
❝ hey. ❞ he whispers, hand reaching for the lamp. ❝ you okay? what’s wrong? ❞
It was like a cruel deja vu. Last year had been rough on the Evanses, and taking multiple side jobs in addition to schooling had tanked Sam's grades and social life. And now it was looking like it was happening all over again. Dwight had gotten laid off from his contracting job, and as a stopgap to cover rent the family had decided to rent Sam's room out to a couple from their church. Sam was mostly fine with it, but hopping from house to house for the past month was starting to wear on him. The Hudson-Hummels' basement was being deep cleaned and purged of mice (Finn had been leaving pizza crusts down there a little too long now that it wasn't occupied by Kurt) so Sam was here for the next few days.
Blaine's house was nice – way nicer than his own, and the cushions had a comforting smell to them. Sam had tried to get settled on the couch but thoughts kept hammering him. He just needed someone to talk to. It would normally be Finn or his dad, but both were long asleep and only available in his phone. He padded down the hallway to Blaine's room, hoping he was still awake.
"Dude... what isn't wrong," he said, fidgeting with a loose thread on his pajamas. "Last time this happened, we had to move to Tennessee. All I can think about is how hard this is gonna be on my little brother and sister. And it's supposed to be our senior year but there's no way I can keep my grades up if I have to transfer again. I feel like I could explode at any minute, y'know? From thinking too much. And don't get me wrong: Britt is awesome, and so awesome at distracting me. But I guess I need something different right now."
