Rebecca De Leon

I'm just a girl that believes in: LOVE. The kind that can change a heart, shine light in the dark, bring burdened bones to life, gives the hopeless flight, the blind sight. A LOVE that will never fail, never harm and always bring peace and comfort. <3

[rebeccadeleon]

❤️❤️❤️Coffee at Local Coffee http://www.localcoffeesa.com

[rebeccadeleon]

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

For the past few weeks I’ve been living with my sister in San Jose, California. I’ve been spending the time focusing on my school assignments, experiencing the California culture, and cleaning up my eating habits since my sister is a health nut/self proclaimed clean eating “chef”. She makes these smoothies in the morning, goes to work, and brings home the container with residue still in it. A cup that was once filled with some healthy and nutritional food returns home smelling like an animal vomited in it. Being the good stay-at-home sister I am, I’ve had the pleasure of washing these spoiled smelling containers. Every time I am on the verge of gagging while rinsing out the containers I think, “How does something so good for you end up so bad?”

I am reminded of the sun. Soaking in some sun rays is good for the body, but marinating in the sun for hours causes skin damage and sun burn. Can marinating in a good thing be harmful?

I spend a lot of my time sorting out the desires in my heart to find that main big dream. I think up plans and dwell on them any chance I get, hoping an answer will come to how to make this dream happen. In the curiosity about when this dream will come true also resides fear of the unknown. Doubts and anxiety become daily thoughts. “Am I going about this the right way?” “Am I wasting my time going down the wrong path all together?” What once was so freeing (the ability to freely dream) has become binding and heavy.

I think the great J.K. Rowling illustrates this dilemma best in the inaugural Harry Potter book. Harry finds a mirror that shows him his deepest desire, to have his parents by his side. He spends his free time sitting in front of this mirror to get just a glimpse of the parents he barley knew. The wise Dumbledore reminds him that the mirror does not give him knowledge nor is it truth. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” Dwelling on dreams takes a healthy thought and spoils it.

A lot of trust must go into living and not dwelling. You have to trust that your deepest desires are guiding you along the right path. You have to trust your feet will not fail you if the road becomes long and rocky. Let your heart and faith do the work so your eyes can enjoy the beauty around you.

[rebeccadeleon]

Appreciation Can Go A Long Way

Last weekend, Robin and I went out to St. James Park here in San Jose to watch Argentina play in the World Cup on a big screen. Under the screen was a sign that read “This is the summer of soccer!” and it listed different soccer events surrounding the World Cup and other community events. I’ve read a few articles discussing the relevance of the World Cup and the many purposes soccer serves for each country.

For me, soccer has been a big part of who I am. Growing up playing the game, I learned about competition, loss, and teamwork. However, there is a part of the soccer tradition that I never really thought about until now. After most soccer matches, a player is awarded “Man of the Match”. While soccer is a team sport, there are those players that just shine in a game, either as a leading scorer or a goalkeeper who makes some miraculous saves. In our high school league, we were awarded “game balls”, which were just nickle size soccer ball patches to put on our jersey. While this tradition could easily play to players ego, there is something to be said about appreciation. I remember that feeling of appreciation, knowing that out of 11+ players, my skills really helped the team achieve something. I had a purpose, worked hard toward that purpose, and someone noticed it.

I began to think about the role appreciation plays in a person’s performance and relationships. I recently read The Promise Of A Pencil. In the book, the founder of Pencils of Promise discussed how he started a culture of appreciation in the organization by requiring monthly “thank you” notes to be sent out by all staff, one personal note and one professional note. I started to think about how appreciation is often lost on a day-to-day basis. We remember to thank people during big events or thank organizations or groups as a whole, but we often overlook the people that make the day-to-day possible. I wonder how that person’s day might change if they felt appreciated. Maybe their passion for doing that task will be re-ignited or maybe they will seek out more opportunities to help.

Start a culture of appreciation and gratitude in your own life. Each month, pick two people to send a special and personal thank you card and see how things might change in their life and your own.

AFTER this summer of soccer (because, let’s face it, no one is getting much work done during the World Cup) I will get some cool new stationary and make more time to reflect on those people I need to show appreciation toward.

[rebeccadeleon]

A look through the kalidescope

Before I left Texas, I got to spend some time with a couple of friends in Dallas. We had a nice stroll and a long chat at Starbucks. [Side note: I’ve had a few of these moments with different people in my life where I leave thinking, “Wow, it is crazy how the right people are put into my life!” I really cherish those moments! :D] This talk went from my graduate research, where I look at the use of technology in the nonprofit field, to the value our culture places on success and titles. We told stories that made us realize how much perspective plays into how we approach our lives and the values we hold.

I feel like everyone is born with one lens to see the world. As we grow and experience different things in life, the number of lenses we have to see the world through grows. When we travel or meet new people who share their cultures and stories, we start to build something like a kaleidoscope. We never lose one lens over another, but rather build what turns out to be a unique perspective that only someone who has walked the exact steps as you could have. This is what makes life so beautiful and unique. You start to cherish even the hardest experiences, because it gives you a new way to view the world.

There are a few moments in life that really changed my heart and the things I value. I remember my roommate Whitney and I volunteered at an elementary school in Austin where we tutored first graders in reading and vocabulary. When we first met the student we were tutoring, we went through a series of questions to get to know them. Through these questions, I found out that this 6 year old girl lived with her mother and older brother. The brother had been in trouble several times for marijuana and it made the girl feel really sad to see him be taken to jail. One of the questions I asked was, “If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?” The girls replied, “I’d give it to my mom for the bills because sometimes it is really hard for her.” This 6 year old girl was worried about something I am just starting to address in my late 20’s.

That was one of those moments that filled me with perspective. For one, I was once again reminded how extremely blessed I am to have a family that let me want for nothing. My parents were strict, and at the time I am sure I didn’t understand it, but to be honest, I look back and think maybe I was spoiled (again, perspective lets me now see that!). Even if my parents at one point struggled with bills, it was not to my knowledge.

I then started to think about the way these family issues played a role in her learning.  The pedestal I place education on might not be fair. I treat education as a cure for all things. And though I know I might be dreaming, I can’t think of a case where education would not fit as at least part of the solution. This girl was carrying these worries with her even at school. I don’t know much about how much these type of situations hinder learning (I know some of my education friends can chime in here). I do, however, know how much worry and stress cloud my own mind. It makes me think of all the children who struggle in school because of worries at home and how much they are missing out on the world of possibilities a solid education offers.

I challenge you to reflect on some of the experiences you have gone through or people’s stories you have encountered. See what kind of lens those experiences offer you and let it change your perspective on life. I’m sure you’ll come to know a much more colorful life!

[rebeccadeleon]

Some thoughts before I leave...

I am a less than a week away from heading to San Jose, California for a month. This trip is a Swiss Army knife, just filled with purpose.

First off, I am going to spend a whole month living with my sister. We haven’t spent longer than a couple weeks together since I left for college when I was 18 years old. I lived in Austin for 4 years while my sister stayed in San Antonio for school. I would pay the family weekend visits and maybe a couple of weeks during the holidays.  I didn’t move back until after college, a month after my sister moved to Oklahoma. Then it was my sister's turn for brief visits. Now, she moved to California, which makes me think the gaps between brief visits will be just as long as the added miles between her new home and Texas. This month with her will be an adventure, as we spend time together as adults, exploring her new home.

I really took the time off work to work on my research for my Masters project. Grad school has proven to be difficult for me. Not only is the fast paced workload overwhelming, or the fact I am still working a full-time job, but this is also the time of my life where all my friends decide to get married and have babies! I love seeing all my friends reach this season of life where love is blooming! I’m intrigued by relationships (…in the way someone studies the behaviors of animals. Marriage and relationship type of love is so foreign to me). I am easily consumed by their stories and want to be a part of these journeys along side them. I will easily put my research on the back burner to help with wedding prep or take photos for friends and family. Of course I'm also a procrastinator so the fact that my research isn't due until the end of my last semesters makes it easier to make the decision to attend to something that is NOW and deal with my research later.

It was my sister's idea that I get away from home to focus on school. She says I need to learn how to say “No”. This is true. The word leaves a negative taste in my mouth, as if saying “No” is denying something from someone; in some cases, it is true. But the hardest time to say “No” is when I think I would be denying myself something… An experience or opportunity. I think I am realizing an anxiety I have with missing an experience. There are days I feel so anxious that time might fly by and I might have missed my shot at experiencing something; this mostly has to do with my dreams. I want to see every inch of this world. I see my friends moving on to these journeys of marriage and parenthood and I feel fine with the idea that I will get there eventually. But when it comes to my dreams to see the world, hear people’s stories, and write these stories for others to read, this is the journey I feel like I am running out of time to complete. Because, I know one day I’ll want to start that journey into marriage and parenthood and those people’s stories might go untold. Being away from friends and family means saying "no" to experiencing fun adventures with them (paint ball, making music, "framily" dinners at Chipotle, watching YouTube videos together, and Nerf wars). But I have to look at the opportunities I am saying "yes" to as well: Quality time with my sister, exploring Northern California, digging into the minds of nonprofits on the other side of the country.

As each piece of this trip unfolds, I hope to glean a lot from it. I recently read some writing from my travel journal that made me value the ability to look back at those thoughts in that moment. I hope to use writing as a tool to learn some lessons, so keep a look out for more posts!

<3

[rebeccadeleon]

I’ve always enjoyed photography, creating an image that tells a story or captures a moment. I never thought of doing photography professionally but I have amazing friends and family members that give me plenty of opportunities to put my passion to use.

[rebeccadeleon]

We were some little elves tonight! Soo surprised by our young adults group! With their generosity we were able to get 6 kids 2 toys and a winter coat each, and even a blender and perfume for the mom! #heartofgiving #reasonfortheseason #servethecommunity

[rebeccadeleon]

My Toyota Corolla fit 460 lbs of non perishables! #safoodbank #yesfooddrive

[rebeccadeleon]

My attempt at a Poem

First, I need a muse. Give me a boy, give me a love. Give me a mountain. Then gather the details. The memories, the scents, the scars we attain. Show me the metaphors. Dark skies. White paper. Cheeks filled with rain. Fill it with a rhythm. A drumming. A humming. A beat the heart can maintain.

[rebeccadeleon]

Dear Former Beck

You know how right now you feel like you can do anything your heart desires? I'm not going to tell you that that is not true. BUT know that things don't always happen the way you plan. Know that your desires will change. Know that things happen for a reason. You will go down paths you hoped were easier, but you will learn. BOY, will you learn! And the reward will be far greater than you'd hoped.

[rebeccadeleon]

Dear Future Beck

Don’t let the children you have an influence on (son, daughter, niece, nephew, students of Hogwarts when you become a professor of the Dark Arts) take life too seriously in their youth. They shouldn’t worry about their parent’s job, mortgage payments, bank account balance, or relationships. They have their entire adult life to deal with those issues. For now, make sure they laugh, play, dream, and spin in circles because it’s fun!!!

[rebeccadeleon]

The Ego vs. The Heart

I never realized how much motives play when helping others. I always knew being a "YES" person had pros and cons. Pro: When you say "yes" to people, you are serving their needs. Con: People could take advantage of you saying "yes" all the time.

I consider myself a "YES" type of person, in which I take the good with the bad. However, I never noticed that the motives behind me saying "yes" can be good and bad as well. My boss pointed out to me the side of "yes" that can come from the ego. The ego type of "yes" comes from wanting to show you have the ability to do it all.

"Yes, I can get that data to you even though there isn't a report for it."

"Yes, I can type out a 33 page document for you on my spare time. I type really fast!"

These are real examples of some things I agreed to do this week alone. I am not saying I am doing them purely out of ego, but I have to question my reasoning. What do I have to prove? Is my "yes" coming from my servants heart? What am I sacrificing and how do I ensure I don't provide mediocre work because I feel the need to say "yes" all the time? 

These are just somethings I need to think about before I say "yes" next time.

[rebeccadeleon]

Why I.... Wednesdays

I am a curious person… especially when it comes to people! I like to know their thought process, decision making skills, where they get their confidence, and what breaks them! I thought I would share some of my habits, thoughts, tips, as a little insight into WHY I do the things I do.

For starters, I’ll tell you Why I REJECT REJECTION. I spent a lot of my life scared of soo much. I wouldn’t even cross the street unless it was at a crosswalk and the light clearly stated “WALK”. I rarely went out on a limb because I feared rejection. But when people convinced me to actually try, I ended up succeeding sometimes, and that feeling is like no other. Getting into a competitive program or getting a really good job, all things only possible if I TRIED.

BUT, there were many other times I didn’t try…until I was forced to. I spent the first year after graduation applying, interviewing, and being REJECTED. (If you want a humbling experience, get a degree in a field that is not in demand and be mediocre at it… they will crush your pride FOR SURE). For a while, I took that rejection, internalized it, and saw myself as inadequate, incapable…a failure.

But here is why I reject rejection now: I am soo much more than my resume. For so long I had too much pride in the things I did, the school I went to, the opportunities I was blessed with. Putting all your self-worth in a list of accomplishments, allows others’ opinions to create who you are, but ignores where your worth really lies. I found soo much self-worth in the fact that I am here for a purpose. There is a plan for me, a plan much bigger than I can even imagine. Rejection is just a way to keep you moving in the right direction (if that makes sense).

And I know it sounds like I’m just talking about in the career field, but this can be applied anywhere. We are relational beings, so it’s common for us to want people to like us and crave their approval. When those relationships end up hurting you, it’s tough to say “It’s okay. That’s not who I am” and move on. No. Personally, I always felt the need to make them see who I KNEW deep down I am. To set these people straight and prove that I am not who they make me out to be. But others (“friends”, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.) rejection of you says more about who THEY are than who you are. And the grand plans we are promised beyond our imagination apply to who is put in your life. Rejection in a relationship is just pushing you to move on to SOMETHING BETTER.

I suggest making a new resume for who you are. Mine says I am a conqueror, precious, provided for, and destined for great things! And take that rejection as a guide to move on toward something greater.

[rebeccadeleon]

Tech Tuesday: "Days" App Review

Since I am a visual geek, I love finding new apps that can do cool things with photos and videos. I just got this app called “Days” today so I don’t know all the quirks it has, but I thought I would share since social media is only fun if you have friends to share it with (so go out and try it out with me!).

The basic concept of the app is to journal your day using photos. You take a photo using the app and it adds the time it was taken. (It would be a tad cooler if you can pull from your library… but we’ll see if it gets added soon). You can add caption to each picture as well. The end result, a photo story of your day.

It won’t let you post until the day is over so there is no posting too soon and missing something at the end of your day.

Another cool thing is the ability to make a Gif. Not a lot of photo apps let you do this so that is a cool feature I was excited to see.

I can’t talk much about the social media factor of it (you can follow your friend’s daily journal) since no one I know uses it yet.

And actually, I’m not sure I want to show others my day-to-day activites. If this is a real journal of my day, it might get pretty boring.

Using this as a travel journal might be the coolest way to use it! I would have LOVED to have this on my trip to Europe last year! Especially since you can add locations to the picture. One day, we went on a walking tour of Berlin. Some pictures I took I couldn’t remember where they were taken once I uploaded them. This would have saved me such a headache of remembering those details.

Another idea I got from this app is using it as a dietary tool. I know it’s good to log what you eat so you can see your bad/good habits. Taking a picture of what you eat seems way easier than writing it. I would suggest to tell friends NOT to follow you if this is your plan, unless they are being accountable for you. It might get annoying see picture after picture of food.

So go check it out! Follow me: @itsbeckokay. Let me know what you think!

***NOTE: this app is only for iPhone as of now. Developer: Wander***

[rebeccadeleon]

Mondays

I, like a ton of other people, have a major issue with MONDAYS. I can’t even put my finger on why, but Mondays and I get along as well as Tom and Jerry (I SWEAR THEY ARE OUT TO GET ME!). I think it has a lot to do with never coming to terms with the fact I am a grown up. I have a grown up job so when Monday comes, I have to put on my big girl pants and carry the load of responsibility I throw out the window at 5pm on Fridays.

Maybe it is because I change roles over the weekend. I ignore my chores, sleep in, marathon TV shows, hang out with friends where we act like idiots, and dream up what I want to do “when I grow up”. Over the weekend, there are ENDLESS possibilities to where I can go, who I can be.

BUT come Monday, those dreams are crushed after opening email after email about a new responsibility I must take on! This wouldn’t be a big deal if it were a Tuesday though. I’d get the job done with ease. But, like I said, Mondays are out to get me. A simple task ends up being a journey where I must slay dragons and goblins to get my assignment completed. I have to deal with creatures that speak another language to get simple paperwork turned in. All the while, I am easily distracted by shiny gold and Elvish swords with magical powers (Pinterest, gchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook… I’m talking about you!)

So maybe my approach to Mondays is all wrong. Instead of putting on my big girl pants, I should put on my armor and prepare for battle. I can shield myself with a LARGE mug of coffee, hearty breakfast, and hope… the hope that 5 o'clock isn't as far as a journey to Mordor!

:D

[rebeccadeleon]

This is a cover a few friends and myself did!

Stephanie Lujan- vocals and ukulele Rebecca De Leon-ukulele Michael Anzaldua-guitar

[rebeccadeleon]

I don't know where I'm supposed to be or when I'm supposed to be there but I know I am promised something more. :)