“You mean the old days on the run from the fascist empire trying to murder us or at least lock us up for life?” Han made a sound that sounded half way between a laugh and scoff. “Or the one where I was a smuggler living hand to mouth and being chased by numerous crime syndicates with a bounty on my head?” He was making it sound much worse than it was, but it was kind of the point. He was aiming to reassure Luke, in his own way, that the old days were not better. That he didn’t miss them. Perhaps he was trying to convince himself at the same time. He was doing his damnedest not to completely freak out about everything that was happening and just how quickly it was happening at that. The New Republic wanted him to head up the pilot’s union, and help organize all sorts of things that he was now suddenly qualified for because he fought in a war where he was just making things up as he went along.
Luke was being pulled in five different directions, and they’d talked about going away, about getting away, but that hadn’t happened because the guy was too damn busy being a hero and Jedi and Han in no way resented that for him but from what Luke had expressed to him, that wasn’t even entirely what the Jedi wanted. And then there was Leia, a force of nature, that one if there ever had been. When did she sleep? When did she eat? He couldn’t have told you the last time he saw her sit down. And he missed his other friends, the ones who didn’t necessarily have a big place in the new government, like Chewie. Chewie was a hero, too, and had been honored as much but his place wasn’t on Chandrila or Coruscant, it was back home with his family.
Lando was…being Lando, somewhere, and Han was happy for him, if he was happy, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t a little envious of the total lack of responsibility that had fallen on the former baron administrator. He did miss the old days. He missed when he wasn’t tied down to any place, to anyone, but he couldn’t say so because it would definitely make it sound like he didn’t want to be there with Luke. He didn’t, not really, but it wasn’t the “with Luke” part. He’d go anywhere, with Luke. But presently anywhere was here and he was bored out of his mind and irritated that people kept asking him to make decisions and contribute when all he wanted was a damn vacation with his….whatever Luke was. “Don’t worry about me, kid. You’ve got enough on your plate. I’m doing just fine. Just waiting for someone to realize I’m not cut out for the bureaucracy and set me loose.”
“𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐇, 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒... I can’t speak much on the smuggling end though. Doesn’t sound too enticing to me, but to some…” Luke looked up from under his lashes and gave the elder man a teasing smile. He knew that Han was only trying to draw comparison from the hectic, stressful, and oftentimes depressing years of combating the Empire to the peaceful, brighter, and more hopeful present and future. But Luke couldn’t help but feel… left behind. Which was an odd thought to have, really. What reason did he have for feeling that way? If anything, his efforts alongside his friends helped pave a path forward. Luke, Han, Chewie, and Leia were at the forefront of this new era; trailblazing new times. So what gives? Why did he feel as though he lingered in the back, not quite ready to move on?
The young Jedi feared that he might not want to move on – and that was a very troublesome thought. So troublesome that Luke had immediately shoved the idea out of his mind before he even had time to truly process it. But upon meditation and the thought’s persistent presence he had eventually given in and considered it. After much thought he had come to the conclusion that… well he didn’t know. He certainly didn’t miss the Empire. He didn’t miss the death, the sacrifices, or the constant dimming of the galaxy’s hope. But things seemed to make more sense when he was doing more than sitting in Senatorial meetings.
Learning the Jedi way of life was more natural…
“Who said I was worried?” the younger pressed in his teasing, “I'm more than confident Leia has already spoken to Mon Mothma about your lack of experience when it comes to bureaucracy.” A deep breath and Luke moved to the center seating area in his reserved room in the Senate building. Han had his own – they all did while the senate was in session; but the two of them were often found hanging in the other’s room on the off time. In fact Han was over so often that it was really more of ‘their’ room; neither of them have said it outloud though. It had taken hard convincing to even get the smuggler to move some clothes and a toothbrush over so he could at least be prepared and not have to dash halfway across the building just to get ready for a hearing.
The blonde plopped down on the seat next to the other and sighed deeply, “Although if they were to set me loose too I wouldn’t complain. I don’t know, Han. My sense of purpose feels so muddled here some days. I know it’s where I should be but sometimes, I don’t know. I feel like the Force,” a quick glance Han’s way, “is pulling me somewhere else.”