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occasionally subtle
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cherry valley forever

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EXPECTATIONS
Cosmic Funnies

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@reblogstosupportotherbogs
for the @guardian review
I'm just curious, why did you have a molasses bucket? I can't think of any other reason to have one other than to have it mauled by bears, just as your picture showed.
To pour over tree stumps. The sugar speeds up the rotting process, and also encourages wandering deer to munch the rotting wood.
regret.mp4
“OH RIGHT HE WAS A WRESTLER”
invader zim filmed this
Y’all these are the actors who are in the Spongebob Squarepants broadway musical that Plankton trying to knock down Spongebob
that context makes is 10000X funnier
The Invader Zim laugh SENT ME
There are a lot of times I feel like just…flipping the vegan script.
It’s not ‘polyester’ it’s plastic
It’s not ‘vegan leather’ it’s plastic
Its not ‘faux fur’ it’s plastic
Plastic is a pollutant and causes far more damage to the environment both now and in the future than leather or wool.
Please stop telling me that the Plastic Lyfe is the only life, it is not. My leather shoes will last a decade where pleather is lucky to last 12 months. Leather (and wool) decompose and are renewable. Plastic is neither of those.
THANK YOUUUUUUU~
A single wash cycle of plastic-based fiber (polyester, poly fleece, faux fur) may release 700,000 pieces of microplastic into our waters. Nasty stuff.
aw dangit
Wool is the most environmentally friendly fabric despite being an animal product.
Using wool isnt even harming sheep
Sheep need to be sheered or else it will cause serious problems. It’s a mutual relationship, we help sheep get rid of the pesky wool and it gives us a very useful material.
This has been a Burning Hot Take™
Also chickens will lay eggs no matter what!! That’s literally what chickens do!!! You are not eating “chick embryos”!!! If you’re worried about supporting the corporate mass farming industry, buy from a local free-range chicken owner! Almost anywhere has farmer’s markets!
This is the part where we talk about how the demand for agave nectar as an alternative to honey is destroying the habitat of the endangered long-nosed bat, which lives on agave.
Bees literally make an excess of honey, too much for them to handle. Beekeepers are helping them by taking honey. BEE MOVIE WAS LITERALLY ABOUT THIS HOLY SHIT
So I read the Bar Etiquette post, which was great thanks! But it also mentioned paying a 'tab' vs. paying 1 drink at a time, and I hear a lot of people with 'tabs' at the bar and was wondering how these work? I've always just paid one at a time, how does paying a tab work differently? Do you pay it all up front, like pay for the 4 drinks you'll probably order, or pay for it after you've had your fill of x amount? How do you set up a tab? Sorry if this is too many questions in one ask.
Don’t worry about it. I could talk about bars all fucking night.
For all you other bar-going peeps out there, check out our fucking rad Bar Etiquette post.
So…tabs and shit, yeah? With a tab, you don’t pay up front, but at the end of the night (or whenever you leave). Tabs are beneficial if you plan on ordering more than one drink. They’re also beneficial if you are low on cash and want to pay by debit/credit. With a tab, instead of bugging the bartender by continuously making them slide your card and print receipts (like an asshole), they just keep track of all your drinks on a single tab, with a single receipt to print and sign at the end of the night. It’s fucking fabulous.
To open a tab at a bar, all you usually need to do is:
Approach the bar tender (click here to see how to approach the bar)
State that you want to open a tab.
Hand over your debit/credit card.
Now you’re ready to order drinks!
The above steps are pretty much the same at every bar. Some may vary a bit, but those are the general guidelines.
To close your tab at the end of the night, just go up to the same bartender and tell them that you’d like to close your tab (so simple it’s almost criminal!).
Tips:
Don’t forget to sign your tab receipt!!
Don’t ask to put your drink on someone else’s tab, unless that tab owner has informed the bar tender that you are allowed to put drinks on their tab.
Don’t order one drink and then close your tab. And don’t fucking close and open and close and open and close your tab.
Don’t freak out if you leave and forget to close your tab! Just go back the next day when the bar/tavern/club/etc is open and close it then. If you left before they closed, you could also go back that night.
Unless you are 100% sure there’s shit you didn’t order on your tab, do not argue about your tab.
PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO TIP YOUR BARTENDER. I cannot even begin to tell you how fucking rude it is to open a tab, buy a bunch of drinks, and then not tip the bartender.
Now, go forth, open tabs, and drink responsibly!
-The Sudden Adult
PS. If you’re drinking enough to open a tab, I highly recommend and encourage having a designated driver or money for a cab/bus/train home. Drinking and driving is for dumbasses who are not grown up enough to care about their lives.
I work very closely with a bar (I'm not a bartender, but I work in the snack bar directly beside the bar in my hometown bowling alley) and all of the above is very true
Listen
There are a few posts going around tumblr that have hundreds of thousands of notes and talk about torrents that you can go to for textbooks.
My advice?
Don’t.
Those are illegal.
I hate to be the stick in the mud here, but yeah, those are illegal.
And seeing as how a lot of you will be logged onto your college server and they can see any website that you go on, I wouldn’t recommend it. You might have your internet privileges revoked. Or face disciplinary actions. Is it worth it?
Besides, a ton of those websites are filled with viruses.
So, you may have saved a few hundred dollars on a textbook but now you need to buy a new computer and are facing consequences from the school.
I know that textbooks are outrageously expensive. And I hate it. But it’s not worth the trouble to try and illegally obtain them.
So, what would I recommend?
Talk to your professor. They might have a few extra textbooks for you to use.
Go to your college library. I worked in the library at my old college for a year and we had an entire shelf of textbooks that students could rent for two hours.
Put up a bulletin board where students can sell their old books and see if someone’s selling the book that you need.
Ask your professor if you can get the an older edition of a book. They’re usually a lot cheaper.
Here are five LEGAL websites that I would recommend:
amazon.com - Not only do they rent books, they also sell used books. I’ve found some really great deals before.
textbookrush.com - Again, they sell used books. I once got a $300 book for $35.
chegg.com - I know a lot of students who use this.
bookbyte.com - I also know a lot of students who use this.
bigwords.com - This website compares prices for books.
THE POMODORO TECHNIQUE
Here’s one way to organize your time and workflow to get the most out of your workday and get things done without killing yourself.
Some stress management for anyone on here
Theology Masterpost
Historical Context God’s Philosophers: How the Medieval World Laid the Foundations of Modern Science Medieval Life: Archaeology and the Life Course The Archaeology of Churches Abbeys and Priories Reformation: Europe’s Houses Divided Reformation Thought: An Introduction The Stripping of the Altars: Traditional Religion in England 1400-1580 Marking the Hours: English People and their Prayers 1240-1570 The Crusades: War for the Holy Land The Crusades (Seminar Studies) Anglo-Saxon Christianity Ecclesiastical History of the English People Medieval Monasteries The Great Awakening: The Roots of Evangelical Christianity in Colonial America Here I Stand: A life of Martin Luther Calvin John Knox: Fearless Faith Beginnings English Protestantism Byzantium: The Surprising Life of a Medieval Empire Sicily: An Island at the Crossroads of History The Orthodox Church Historical Theology “Kill them all’: Cathars and Carnage in the Albigensian Crusade The Holy Roman Empire: A Thousand Years of Europe’s History The Catholic Invasion of China The Hammer and the Cross Puritanism: A Very Short Introduction The Inheritance of Rome A History of the Popes Archaeology of Christianity in Africa Missionaries, Indigenous Peoples and Culture Exchange Religion Versus Empire? British Protestant Missionaries and Overseas Expansion, 1700-1914 The Bible and the Flag: Protestant Mission and British Imperialism in the 19th and 20th centuries The Birth of the Modern World The Blessing of Africa How Africa Shaped the Christian Mind Early Libyan Christianity Through the Storm, Through the Silence: A History of African American Christianity Saints, Signs and Symbols Apologetics
The Defense of the Faith Christian Apologetics The Inspiration and Authority of the Bible Covenantal Apologetics The Battle Belongs to Our Lord Reasons of the Heart, Recovering Christian Persuasion God’s Undertaker: Has Science buried God? On Guard Mere Apologetics Early Christianity The Confessions City of God Early Christian Writing Eusebius: The History of the Church The Desert Fathers: Sayings of Early Christian Monks The Greek Fathers
Medieval Aquinas: A Beginner’s Guide Aquinas: Selected Philosophical Writings An Introduction to Medieval Theology Medieval Philosophy (A new history of Western Thought) The Writings of St Francis of Assisi Abelard: Ethics Writings Anselm of Canterbury: The Major Works The Rule of Benedict
Reformation The Cambridge Companion to Reformation Theology Martin Luther’s 95 theses Institutions of the Christian Religion The Bondage of the Will The Protestant Reformation: Major Documents Protestantism Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God Holiness of God What is Reformed Theology? Everyone’s a Theologian: An Introduction to Systematic Theology Commenting and Commentaries From the Mouth of God: Trusting, Reading and Applying the Bible Theology: The Basics
Eastern Orthodox Introducing Eastern Orthodox Theology The Orthodox Church: An Introduction to Eastern Christianity The Orthodox Way The Old Testament in Eastern Orthodox Tradition Modern Orthodox Thinkers Gazing on God
Commentaries Meeting God in Mark Early Christian Letters for Everyone A Commentary on St Paul’s Epistle The Cambridge Companion to St Paul Commentaries on Christian Life
This list is by no means comprehensive and will be added to, hopefully not just by me but by yourself too. It is heavily biased towards history and archaeology at the moment mainly because I am an archaeologist. Hope you find this useful.
67 short pieces of advice you didn’t ask for
1. Ignore 1-star and 5-star reviews of books, hotels and products. The 3-star reviews will answer all your questions.
2. When you’re a host, use that experience to learn how to be a better guest, and vice-versa.
3. If you want to be fit, become someone who doesn’t skip or reschedule workouts. Skipping workouts is always the beginning of the end.
4. Learn keyboard shortcuts. If you don’t know what CTRL + Z does, your life is definitely harder than it has to be.
5. Become a stranger’s secret ally, even for a few minutes. Your perception of strangers in general will change.
6. Get over the myth that philosophy is boring — it has a history of changing lives. It’s only as boring as the person talking about it.
7. If you’re about to put down a boring a non-fiction book, skim the rest of it before you move on. Read the bits that still appeal to you.
8. Ask yourself if you’ve become a relationship freeloader. Initiate the plans about half the time.
9. Notice how much you talk in your head, and experiment with listening to your surroundings instead. You can’t do both at the same time.
10. Reach out to people you know are shy. It’s hard for them to get involved in social things without somebody making a point of including them.
11. Learn the difference between something that makes you feel bad, and something that’s wrong. A thing can feel bad and be right, and it can feel good and be wrong.
12. If you need to stop for any reason in a public place, move off to the side first.
13. Before you share an interesting “fact” on Facebook, take thirty seconds to Google it first, to see if you’re spreading made-up bullshit.
14. Clean things up right away, unless your messes tend to improve with age.
15. Consciously plan your life, or others will do it for you.
16. Be suspicious when someone uses the words “Justice” and “Deserve” a lot. Be suspicious when you use them yourself.
17. Get rid of stuff you don’t use. Unused and unappreciated things make us feel bad.
18. Expect people to get offended sometimes when you try to tell them what to do. Even if you think it’s good advice :)
19. Once in a while, imagine what it would be like if you really did lose all your data and had only your current backups.
20. Spend as long as it takes — five or ten years even — to move towards a line of work that feels well-suited to you.
21. Rediscover board games. They’re still tons of fun.
22. Try making small, humble presents instead of buying big ones, and see how different it feels for both you and the recipient.
23. To eat fewer calories, eat a lot slower than normal and see what changes.
24. Watch experts perform their chosen art whenever you get a chance. There’s something really grounding about it.
25. Avoid arguing about politics, except for entertainment value. By the time it’s an argument, nobody’s listening.
26. Ledger all your income, purchases and expenses, at least for a whole month. You can’t help but discover wasteful spending. It’s like giving yourself a raise.
27. When someone disagrees with you, try to understand what needs and fears are behind their stance. Yours probably aren’t much different.
28. When driving, pretend the other drivers are all friends and relatives. It makes the driving experience friendlier, and often hilarious.
29. Don’t act while you’re still angry. Anger makes the wrong things seem right, and remorse lasts way longer than anger.
30. Understand that what’s dangerous and what’s illegal are always going to be different, and need to be. It doesn’t always make sense to criminalize something just because it can be harmful.
31. Don’t be late. Everyone hates waiting for late people.
32. Read Richard Carlson’s classic Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. Or read it again if it’s been a while. Fifteen years after I first read it, I can’t think of a more helpful book.
33. Be aware of the complex, systemic nature of the world’s biggest problems, and our habit of framing them as simple ones with clear villains and victims.
34. When you’re with a loved one, pretend momentarily that they’re actually gone from your life, and that you’re just remembering this ordinary moment with them.
35. Make of point of sitting and chatting with at least one local whenever you travel. It will transform your view of the place. [It’s easy to meet a local resident for coffee using couchsurfing.org]
36. Experiment with meditation. It gives you tools to mitigate nearly every thing human beings complain about — fear, boredom, loss, envy, pain, sadness, confusion, and doubt — yet remains unpopular in the West.
37. Give classical music another shot every few years.
38. Read a bit about some of the “isms” you normally dismiss — socialism, capitalism, conservatism, feminism, anarchism. There are probably more good ideas there than you thought.
39. Be wary of declaring yourself a “_____ist” though. Making an identity out of your beliefs is bound to make you less objective.
40. Picture yourself at your own funeral. Imagine what they are thinking.
41. Donate clothes that you don’t feel good wearing.
42. Practice opening up to minor discomfort when it happens — really letting yourself feel it instead of resisting it. Everything becomes easier to handle.
43. Listen to Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” slowed down to 33 rpm, at least once in your life.
44. Don’t make jokes about people’s names or bodies, even if you think they would laugh.
45. Make a point of enjoying the walk across the parking lot.
46. Understand the concept of “privilege,” but don’t use it as a slur. Use your privilege for good.
47. Don’t limit your compassion to people who don’t cause any harm (because there are none.)
48. Be aware of the intoxicating effect of bad moods. A bad mood usually means things are better than they look.
49. Once in a while, imagine that this moment is the very first moment of your life, and then build a future from there.
50. Go to your city’s low-key ethnic restaurants instead of flashy chain establishments — not to “help out the little guy” but because they’re better and cheaper.
51. Avoid being the least sober person in the room, unless you’re the only person in the room.
52. Go to New York, at least once.
53. Consider keeping a bucket list that you take seriously. They stave off complacency.
54. Remember that you’re essentially no different from prehistoric humans, except that you have tools and advantages they would find ridiculous.
55. If life ever feels like it’s too loud and busy, go hang out at the library.
56. Never hide from truths about your financial position. If you’re afraid to know your bank balance, you have a problem bigger than money problems.
57. If you think dancing isn’t for you, try it again sometime.
58. When you’re about to buy something, think about what feeling you’re actually after. Ultimately we only want things because of how they promise to make us feel.
59. Floss every day. You can fool yourself but you can’t fool your dentist, or your teeth.
60. Be extra kind to people while they are at work, especially servers, clerks, and tech support staff.
61. Whenever you’re being contradicted, try not to get caught up in being defensive. You’re either right, or you get to learn something new today.
62. At least consider taking religion’s five central no-no’s seriously: don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t kill, don’t harm people with your reproductive urges, and don’t drink so much that you forget the other four.
63. Own at least one plant. They’ll never judge you, but they’ll let you know if you’re being careless.
64. Try not to let a week go by without having lunch or coffee with a friend.
65. Do 30-day experiments for fun and sport — try out a new way of doing something for a while. Even if they’re train wrecks you always learn something about yourself.
66. Appeal to your friends for their expertise. You get good advice, they feel valued.
67. Write people letters. Everyone loves getting letters.
From Raptitude
Marry That Girl
The way I want Adrien to develop a crush on Marinette in canon, or at least realise that he has a mega crush on Marinette, is for him to find out about the future she had planned for the two of them.
Let’s say Marinette has a special sketchbook. This sketchbook is filled with drawings of their future house, of Adrien as an adult in multiple occupational settings, of Marinette and Adrien’s wedding, and most importantly, their future children.
Let’s say Marinette had accidentally brought this sketchbook to school instead of her regular one. Let’s say she accidentally dropped this sketchbook while rushing out of school to help go meet Mme. Chamack to go babysit Manon.
Let’s say Adrien was nearby and picked up the sketchbook.
He wasn’t able to call out to her before she ran off, so he kept it, deciding to give it back to her tomorrow. He gets into his car and is driven home.
Of course, though, he’s a cat, curious through and through. It wouldn’t hurt to take a peek, right? Besides, Marinette’s such an excellent designer, maybe he could put in a good word to his father.
He didn’t expect to see the wedding dress on the first page, a self-portrait of her in an intricate bun and gorgeous white lace. It’s mesmerizing. It makes him excited, already imagining her at her wedding, her giddy smile as she stands before her future groom.
He turns the page. His cheeks burn.
The future groom is apparently him.
There he is, in a sunny, shiny beige suit and a wide, toothy grin. His hair is messy and his tie’s a bit loose, and it surprises him how specific she was in those details. That she wasn’t expecting him to be perfect. That she didn’t want him to be perfect.
His heart thuds loudly in his chest, and he turns the page.
It’s him in a lab coat, standing beside some complex piece of machinery that Marinette had definitely searched references to. Beside him is the single word “Physicist.”
He turns the page again.
It’s him in a simple suit, wearing a tacky tie, standing in front of a chalk board and talking to a group. Beside this drawing, the word “Professor” is written.
Once again, he turns the page.
It’s him in his fencing uniform, standing on top of a podium. In one hand, he is holding a shiny medal that’s wrapped against his neck, grinning right beside it. In the other hand, he holds his foil, his helmet tucked under his arm. “Fencer.” He didn’t need to read the word to guess that one.
He turns at least fifteen pages, each one of him in a different occupation, something related to one of his hobbies or likes, even things he’s only ever had a casual interest in. He nearly laughed at the sight of him as an ice dancer. He won’t lie, he did like ice skating, but really?
It’s the last one that leaves him in near tears.
It’s him laying casually on a couch, two little boys tucked under each of his arms, and one little girl curled up against the center of his chest. All four of the people in the picture are fast asleep in front of a TV. “Stay-At-Home Dad” was written next to this drawing.
He chokes down his sob. The driver looks at him through the review mirror in concern, and sees the wide smile across the boy’s face. Happy tears, then.
The next page shows the three children together. He smiles wider at the sight of their last names.
Hugo Dupain-Cheng-Agreste
Louis Dupain-Cheng-Agreste
His eyes land on the girl’s name, and his heart stops.
Emilie “Emma” Dupain-Cheng-Agreste.
He stares, and stares, and stares. Then he closes the sketchbook, and brings it close to his chest, almost scared of the idea of letting it go. He looks out the window and sees the mansion. They’ve apparently been here for quite some time.
He scurries to his room, locks the door, and doesn’t come out until he’s memorized every single page of the sketchbook. Damn the consequences.
He eats dinner that night in a trance. Gabriel even comes down to eat with him, informed by a worried Nathalie of his son’s strange behaviour. Adrien barely acknowledges his presence, too occupied with his thoughts, smiling as though he were floating peacefully on a cloud. Nothing anyone says gets through to him.
He imagines his life with Marinette. Her in a pretty, professional bun and shy, loving smiles, dressed up as she’s about to go to her office as a head designer. Him in casual, comfy clothing as he makes breakfast for their family of five, kissing the cheeks of his three children and the lips of his wife. He’d help the kids get dressed, brush their teeth, and take them to school. Take care of their hamster at home, because they most certainly will have a hamster, he guarantees it. He’ll bring a home cooked lunch directly to his wife’s work, and she’d drop everything to take a lunch break with him because that’s the kind of person she is— attentive… loving…
Beautiful, his mind supplies. Her smile, her personality, her work. All of it absolutely gorgeous. He doesn’t even pretend to disagree. Marinette had planned this whole life around him. She knows what she wants. Her position as a fashion designer won’t change, nor will her future wedding dress. But she left his role in her life so open. Every option is catered around what he’d possibly want in the future. All the occupations he could choose from, their children’s names, where they’d live, who would take whose last name, etc, etc.
He buries his face into his pillow and giddily kicks his feet, his thoughts once again remembering Emilie “Emma” Dupain-Cheng-Agreste. She wants to name their future daughter after his mom.
He cries himself to sleep that night, but unlike every other time, it’s tears of happiness.
He wakes up the next day with a single mission on his mind.
‘I’m going to marry the HELL outta that girl!’
Humanity is like the one smart kid in your class that has the capacity for all A’s if it wasn’t for their poor work ethic.
Hey, it's me!
Jack Black would have been a nearly perfect choice to play the roll of Genie in the upcoming Alladin movie. (source)
Minecraft is older than the kids who play it.
Dogs mark their territory by leaving their sent. Vacuum cleaners clean pet hair and other dirt from the house, probably damping the dogs sent mark and claiming the territory for its self. Therefore, dogs are scared of vacuum cleaners because vacuum cleaners are the alfa males.