[rebooted-sky]

I keep my heart behind a LED screen.

So would the world be a better or worse place if people weren't so guarded? If everyone was being their selves and made there intentions clear, wore their heart on their sleeves as it were, would people still take advantage? Would people be such easy victims? Its so easy to hide your self from everyone now days. Exhibit A me right now behind a device carefully choosing my words. I may have spent minutes on this or hours you don't know. How much is me and what is edited? Here I can be me or someone else. You can be you or someone else. Its so much easier to say and act how you wouldn't in person over the vastness of cyberspace. Oh the joys of social networking.

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I miss her where do I go from here

what do I do with my feeling, my pictures her sock on the floor. I can’t bring myself to get rid of them. What if she comes back I wanna hold on to that love. Or do I let it go. When do I do these things? I’m struggling to see god in my life right now. I feel ashamed in how I’ve acted in my brokenness. Old demons love to come when your vulnerable tempting you back in the dark where you feel no one can see the filth that’s on you. Just hide in the dark trying hiding from god but he sees you pursues you says come to me I’m the great physician and I’ll heal you, I will wash you in my tears for my child has returned. But by then you’ve dug in you’ve held on to your hurt so tight its almost like comfort. Do you wanna give a away what you know, give up control again. Sometimes your ready sometimes you run back in to the darkness again. With the festering wounds and it all starts again….

[rebooted-sky]

Closure is a myth there's only AHHHHH! Then Calm

So what’s closure? Dose knowing why someone broke your heart really help you? Its not going to make squat better. Some one once asked me how I forgive so easily. Took me a little bit of thinking, but I responded; “every one always says “I forgive you I just want to know why” as if that’s gonna help them. Knowing why someone wronged you does that justify it? That’s just one more thing to hold on to. And its not going to change anything. True forgiveness doesn’t have a why, there is no need to know.” So is there closure? I dont think that term fits. It implies all the loose ends are tied in a nice bow. They never are. Its called moving on. Its the transition between how could you do this to me? Too I don’t care. Closure is a myth there’s only moving on.

[rebooted-sky]

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable

C.S Lewis

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A must read if you are thinking about getting engaged

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180 flipping engagement on its head

Girls before you start dropping hints about marriage make sure you want a life long partnership and not just a pretty for your finger.

I see this more and more. girls want the feeling of being wanted and what better way of feeling that way than having some one ask to marry you. The thing is before you started dropping your “subtle” hints you didn’t consider what a marriage is. There for get cold feet take off leaving some poor bastard holding the bag.

Now what, you couldn’t figure out that you had things you wanted to accomplish before you got married, before you got engaged? Or figured out how to do them in a marriage?

I guess all I’m saying is if a man is with you and treats you right he wants you. There’s should be no rush to prove that with the premature weight of an engagement. The day before I put that ring on her finger to the day she took it off, my commitment to her couldn’t have been greater. Its an item that’s all it is, true commitment is trust and a choice the ring as a minor symbol the choice is what’s important.