[oneheadtoanother]

[stardustfanfare]

[saltoncity]

girl is that a knife in your hand or are you jerking off your sharp detachable penis in my stomach

[wordfather]

coming back to life just to have the freakiest sex possible with the guy that killed me

[taydaughter]

not all your fave blorbos can be masochists some of those fuckers gotta enjoy beating the shit out of someone during sex

[feyd-meowtha]

It's a moral imperative that we write more sex scenes which are

Weird

Uncomfortable

Not good for anyone involved

[cuppydogshane]

the unstoppable force is tonguing the immovable object and it seems to be enjoying the experience

[gilded-lilyyy]

[json-derulo]

fool me once shame on you. fool me twice shame on me. fool me three times this has gotta be a sex thing for at least one of us

[jingle-knight]

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

[warheads-r-us-deactivated202301]

Yes, that’s a gun in my pants. No, I’m not happy to see you.

[5u5]

thats just the way the pussy crumbles

[daisiesandbumblebees]

please see a gynecologist

[sandmandaddy69]

[notahorseindisguise]

ALSO..some more masturbation facts about me. theres a nonsexual scene in a book where a kid gets spanked for some reason. it was set in like the 40s and he was in a boarding school i forget. but i think i either misread the scene . or maybr the author actually did write this and theyre just fucking weird. and i thought the protag got hit (with like a ruler or something). on the penis instead of on the arse. and i remember my 11 year old brain being like. i wonder why i think that would feel good.

and so my first ever "experiment" with masturbation was. slapping my dick with a ruler. and when that felt good. my first ever way of masturbating was. stacking heavy books on my penis. and then hitting the top book. so that the force was distributed down the series of books. into my penis. and of COURSE it didnt work i was punching books into my dick but it laid a strong foundation for a great gooning career . hey everyone PLEASE pretend you didnt read this post

[notahorseindisguise]

[swagdinner]

[makesoneteam]

you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time

[pochayun]

would you like to share with the class 🤔

[makesoneteam]

saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute

[mercury-mage]

would you like to unshare with the class

[apartmentstore]

my favourite post in the whole wide world

[dogpuppy]