Soulless, But Not Heartless

| Red | Canada | A little dead inside, but what else is new? | https://leahroy.tumblr.com/

[katebeckets]

idiots (affectionate)・[28/?] ⤷ 2.14 — “Die Hand Die Verletzt”

[anotherorder]

The X-Files — 2.03: Blood

[orcarriagesthatwork]

I think about this cake every day

[tizzymcwizzy]

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

[microsuedemouse]

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[helenarth]

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

[itseasytoremember]

I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

[aaloosshitposting]

"If I were orpheus I wouldn't look back"

But we look back everyday- rechecking emails, making sure a friend is still behind you, checking to see if you remebered to pick up your keys. It's second nature, a habit of care.

It was second nature for him too. He looked back, not out of weakness, but love. For what is love, if not to look back?

[anotherbookinthelibrary]

An Orpheus who didn't turn around is an Orpheus who never walked down in the first place

[awihog]

"I asked chatgpt" "I asked grok" ok well I asked fbi special agent fox mulder and he said that his theory is chatgpt is powered by a historical demon referenced in two (2) twelfth century texts that he actually believes is an alien taking the form of technology in order to assimilate better with the modern world and dana scully was also there and she just put her head in her hands and sighed

[triplesixyz-deactivated20200529]

Being a decent human means holding your trash until you can locate a goddamn trashcan u littering swine

[katebeckets]

idiots (affectionate)・[9/?] ⤷ 1.09 — “Space”

[thememedaddy]

[mothermara]

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

[aletheyass]

always remember that adhesive labels can sense your fear and hesitation when you are removing them

[dragon-in-a-fez]

knowing that the past tense of "hang" is "hanged" when it's a method of execution can be very entertaining because you'll be watching a horror movie and someone goes "local legend says a woman was hung in these woods" and you're like "👀 good for her I guess"

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the thing about being "good with kids" is all it takes is literally just not trying to control and mould them with every interaction. it's just being a normal person and engaging with them through normal interactions like having conversations and playing games. it's just being genuine and friendly and not perceiving them as lumps of wet clay you are there to shape. "oh you're so good with kids" thanks it's because I think they are people

[depsidase]

[sophsun1]

The X-Files – 3.17: Pusher

[chasing-caws]

I believe this whole heartedly with my full chest

[chasing-caws]

Thanks for the info prev!! Still a little funny to think about tbh lol

[july-19th-club]

[criminalizegolf]

> read library book

> it's good

Thank you library

[fiercestpurpose]

> read library book

> it's bad

Thank you library for saving me from buying it :)

[official-library-posts]

official library post