Hey! Callsign "Redhead". 30. This is place were I will post bits and pieces that I have written and will write about Top Gun series and about other stuff.
Author Note: Little something that has been racking in my brain.
"I can't believe this!" exclaimed Vivian, looking at photos of Lewis with Kim K in the streets of Tokyo. She was lucky that Nico had other commitments today. Vivian was seething just looking at these pictures.
Yes, she made a choice for all three of them in 2016 because she couldn't watch them break each other. She had to put stop before there was no Nico and no Lewis in this realm of existence. It has come too close with Nico in his darkest moments.
*****
"Viv?" asked Lewis. He looked bone deep tired from this race weekend and the emotions he was holding in.
"We three can't go on like this." she whispered in the room. Lewis snapped to attention, finally taking this seriously.
"You can't..."
"Yes, I can and I will. For all three of our sake. You both are hurting each other so much. You hurt him so badly that he wants to hurt himself."
"Viv, I didn't think..."
"Exactly, you didn't think but now I am thinking for all three of us. I have made the decision for all three of us because you can't do it."
"Vivian, say what you have to say."
"We are stopping what is between us three because it is not working out right now. I'm not putting any rules on you. But, please, for all the love between us be more gentle with him. Don't allow make me lose him, too. I'm already losing you because he needs me more."
She came closer to him and pressed last kiss to Lewis lips, whispering against them: "I fucking hate this. But we will wait for you when you can come back."
*****
Retirment had done good to her husband and she had hoped slowly they would heal what they had. Her own words echoing in her head about Lewis being able to come back. She thought the presents coming to her daughters was a good sign. Two men she loved being able to look at each other as good sign.
But now, now Lewis was with one of the Kardashians and it made her blood boil like it hadn't in long time.
"How dare he do this to us?" she was asking no one in particular when she got to photo of Kim K in wedding dress salon. "We are so much better than her, we kmow him better and can give him everything he needs."
Vivian had to hatch a plan how to get their man back. She knew Lewis was hismown person and she shouldn't get into this but in the end of the day that was her and her husbands man that they waited years to come back to them.
If Lewis wants to play hard to get than he will get it.
After first gift that Lewis sent to Alaïa, Vivian texted him thank you. Since then they kept texting frequently, never mentioning Nico. Still to her it felt like good first step forward. Like she got a bit of him back after all this mess but now it felt more like temptation than anything. She wanted to say to him so much.
Nico noticed his wifes frown and asked: "What is bothering you, darling?"
"Nothing, Nico."
"You will tell me if something is bothering you, right?"
"I will, I will. For now come and lay down next to me." Said Vivian, opening arms for her husband. Some nights he liked to be little spoon and tonight was the night.
Nico settled his head on her shoulder. Vivian kept running her fingers trough his hair, making sure he has fallen asleep. She took her phone and snapped few pictures of them. Vivian didn't want Nico yet to know her plan. He would be too enthuasiatic and ruin it before the chace has started.
Vivian choose picture and sent it to Lewis with caption: "Don't forget what is waiting for you."
She waited till the photo loaded and just few seconds later under message it was written _seen_. Vivian smiled to herself, putting phone away with feeling of first move acomplished.
Next day Lewis hadn't answered to her message but that _seen_ was enough of confirmation for her that she can go on with her plan.
Nico rushed into their new flat with biggest smile on his face but not forgetting to say hi to their daughters. Then he pulled Vivian in passionate kiss.
"What has gotten into you?" asked Vivian, pulling away from her husband. Nico showed his phone in her face where video of Lewis interview was playing.
"He mentioned me by my name." breathlesly said Nico, tears welling up in his eyes. And there it was Lewis saying Nico's name while looking down and softly smiling. In this moment, Viv saw the man she fell in love with, not world champion with his walls up that had broken the most beautiful thing in his own life.
Vivian pulled Nico in for another kiss, smiling back as big as her husband. Who knew all it took was one photo of them in the bed to get Lewis to talk about Nico again?
Later that night while they again were laying in the bed. Vivian wrote a text: "We saw your interview. You made him really happy and me, too."
Next text bubble popped up showing Lewis typing.
"Couldn't get you both out of my head after that picture of yours but also I never thought those doors were still open."
"Those doors were always open for you but you didn't seem to want to look at them and even aknowledge them."
"I hurt all three of us too much to believe it."
"Yes, you and Nico both hurt each other a lot but we can work it through."
"If you say so, Viv. But why now?"
Vivian had forgotten that Lewis always asked the right questions. The ones that would reveal it all. Before she could start typing next text appeared.
"Are you jealous of Kim?"
Vivian thought about lying to him but what is the use. If they wanted to start aknew they needed honesty from the start of it.
"And what if I am jealous of her? She gets to spend time with you, you take her shopping to wedding dress shop. In the end of the day, I'm only a woman not a saint. I miss you. We both miss you."
"Well...then my plan worked better than I expected."
"What do you mean your plan?"
But no anwer from Lewis anymore. Now Vivian was seething in different kind of anger. She will get back to him.
It was one of the sunny days in London. He was in the park near their apartment building, walking with twins in their stroller. It had been a few months since he found out that his wife is alive and he is a father to twins. Suna had made him go to therapy for all his childhood trauma because she said that their past pain can’t cloud their kids. They are going to couples therapy, too, making this marriage work for them. They finally went on dates that they couldn’t do back in Turkey because of all the constant drama. It has been working out well. They still clashed but this time around no one walked away, talking or kissing out the frustration.
Kids from their apartment building were playing around the park, too. Suna was back in the flat giving private lessons to kids that needed a bit more attention. Kaya was enjoying this life. He never could have dreamed of having a life like this. He once thought he would end up like his father but not anymore.
“Hello, Mr. Sönmez.” kids said in the unison. He was trying to get them to call him Kaya but they were too stubborn. It made him feel old when it should have made him feel like he has status. He wanted to ask how they were doing when he noticed a familiar figure coming his way. Smile fell from his face and shock took over. It couldn’t be. No, it was Sunas younger sister Seyran. How the fuck did she find him? Probably, a private investigator. Did that mean they knew about Suna? He had to protect his kids and Suna. Then and there it hit him, this must be what Suna had felt when she found out about babies. Korhans and Şanlis were dangerous to them.
“Kaya!” called out Seyran. She had noticed him. All the kids seemed to sense that something bad would go down and left the park. He and his twins were alone. He could fend her off for the sake of his little family.
“Seyran!” he said, coming to stand on the side of the baby stroller like he was big enough to cover it. “What are you doing here?”
“I need your help, Kaya.” Seyran started saying but she noticed the baby stroller behind his back. “Kaya, whose kids are these? Did you lie to my sister about being free? You had a woman on the side like Ferit. You all Korhans are the same.”
Emre and Elvan started to cry at the same time. Kaya turned his head to the side to shush the twins when he saw the palm of hand coming closer to his face. Then it stopped just a few millimeters away from his cheek. He turned back to see his wife who had caught her sister by the wrist.
“Don’t you dare to put even a finger on my husband, Seyran Şanli.” Suna hissed at her sister who looked to see her dead sister alive. At least the private investigator didn’t dig into Suna. It calmed Kaya down a bit. “Kaya is the furthest thing from Korhan’s. As all you kept reminding him, even I did in our arguments. But you know what, that is the best part.”
“Sister?” asked Seyran, still being shocked to see her dead sister alive and breathing. Also still with Kaya of all people and by the looks of it they had children together.
“Kaya, darling, please, continue the walk with the kids. My sister and I here need to talk for a bit.”
“Are you sure?” Kaya questioned his wife. The silent question that was hidden behind these simple words: where are you going to be safe?
“Yes, I am sure, Kaya.” answered Suna, letting Seyrans arm go to turn and press a kiss to her husband's cheek. It was a sign to him that she can handle this situation. Still he would stay close by. When he started to walk again with the baby stroller, he noticed their neighbors had all vacated the park with their kids. They were not alone at all. They had more people in their corner than they believed. It is hard to believe after all you had for so long is just themselves.
“Kaya, are you okay? Do we need to call the police?” Feray rushed to him and the twins that had calmed down again. She was holding the phone on the ready.
“I am okay. I was simply surprised that Suna’s sister found me here. She had always accused me that I married her sister not for love.”
“She is dumber than I gave her credit for. You’re both so in love it makes my teeth hurt how sweet you are. Also there has to be a lot of love to create two such beautiful babies.”
“Thanks for the support, Feray. I really thought we had put the past behind us.”
“There is no day like today to put it behind you. Suna will take care of it. She is a real lioness when it comes to the three of you.”
“Yeah, that she is.” Kaya said, looking back at his wife who talked angrily with her sister. While Seyran looked on the verge of tears. Usually, Suna would end her barrage around now and hug her sister but not this time.
“Suna, how could you do that to our family? You put all of us through hell. Did Kaya know that you are alive?” Acquisitions came falling from Seyrans lips like rain drops on gray days. Her little sister had lost that right a year ago when Suna found out the truth.
“Don’t bring Kaya into this. This is between you and I, dear sister. Yes, I could and I would do it again just for my kids to be born healthy and not to be around all the snakes back in Istanbul. You can throw those acquisitions at me all you want but I don’t care. Maybe for once we could talk about all the bad things you did. Hmm, would you like that, Seyran?”
“Suna?!” Her name sounded as a warning not to go there but as she had said before she didn’t care. She had no ties to Seyran anymore since the day she betrayed Suna.
“The day I found out about babies, I thought I should visit the dear friend of ours Fikriye. Imagine my surprise when I found my baby sister there, giving money to this fraud and telling her what to tell me next time I come around. I hid in the darkness, waiting for you to leave. Then I asked a few questions of my own.”
“It was you?” asked horrified Seyran, remembering the burned down pallor of Fikriye. The fortune teller was nowhere to be found. Her older sister had made sure no one would find her. Her body wasn’t found in the ruins after the fire. So the fortune teller had to be alive. Her sister wasn’t a killer.
“Never ever threaten a woman that is pregnant. You don’t know what she is capable of. The most interesting thing, Fikriye told me that my own sister, that my blood had wanted to ruin my marriage that I for once felt safe in. That my own sister had played with my mind to drive me to insanity, trying to push me in the arms of her own ex-husband. And for what? Oh dear God, for what? So I again would be miserable and in need of her. So I could play the role of negotiator for you because you pulled a person that was close to killing our father out of jail. The sister I helped to raise and protected from our father so many times had betrayed me in the worst way possible. You had put my children in danger.”
“I couldn’t. They would have killed Ferit’s father in jail.”
“May I remind you, Seyran, you were the one to put him there. You wanted revenge on him and then backed down because oh no poor Ferit’s feelings were hurt. How about your own feelings that Ferit stamped over time and time again? How about my feelings and thoughts about my marriage with Kaya? Did they ever matter to you?”
“Of course, but…”
“There is no but’s, Seyran. You choose a man that abused you like our father. That chose everyone over you time and time again. So you thought it was the right option to mess up my marriage because your one was so horrible. In your world I couldn’t have nice things and happy endings.”
“I didn’t…” Seyran started but Suna stopped her before she could continue.
“No, you don’t get to talk anymore. You wanted to ask my husband for money. Here it is. It will cover your livelihood for some time.” Suna said and dropped a bag full with money between them. This was the line of no backing up. This was the final time two sisters would meet. Suna would make sure of it. She didn’t build this life to be once again made run. Her little family deserved healthy stability that neither she nor Kaya had. “And if you tell any living soul that I am alive and that I have kids, darling sister, you will regret it like Fikriye regretted that she stepped in my way.”
“You wouldn’t?”
“Oh, Seyran, Seyran! Always so innocent, so pure. I would without blinking an eye even. For those three people back there and their safety, I would burn the world down. Maybe one day you will find someone to love like that.”
“Suna, I am so sorry!”
“No, you are not, Seyran, you are not at all. I simply caught you. This is goodbye. Forget about us, forget that you saw us at all. We don’t exist in that timeline anymore. Live your life the way you wanted.” Suna told her, turning her back to Seyran. Somehow this was the easiest walk away of her life because she was stepping closer to her family with each step. Kaya had noticed and smiled at her. She couldn’t not answer it with a smile of her own. Yes, this was the right choice.
“Dear wife, this reminded me of the moment when I fell in love with you. The moment you let me and my mother inside the place, calling me out straight away. That was so hot from you.”
That made Suna laugh because of course her husband would have a sweet spot for when she was being sassy with him.
“You’re ridiculous, Kaya. It was like a moment.”
“It was a moment enough to fall in love with you.” Kaya told her, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. Suna’s cheeks are colored in light pink because she still didn’t know how to take compliments from her husband and his intense, fiery gaze always made her blush.
“Let’s go home! Scolding siblings makes me hungry and if twins won’t fuss too much, you will be allowed to show me all the other reasons why you fell in love with me.”
“Your wish is my common, mam!”
With Suna laughing at her funny husband. They were on their way home, putting the past behind them once and for all times. There was only a present that needed to be filled with love.
Suna looked at the pregnancy test that showed positive while the doctors ran extra tests to be 100% sure. It was a miracle that she had gotten away from Korhans and Kaya without either following her. The tensions in the mansion were rising with each day and now this. Suna needed a plan and fast. She couldn’t submit a baby to that kind of life.
Doctor handed her the test results with a big smile on her face. That confirmed it for Suna. She really was pregnant with Kaya’s and her child. Her arms went around her stomach, already trying to protect this child. Then an idea popped in her head. Maybe this would make Kaya hate her but he would understand in the end. Suna slipped money to the doctor, asking kindly: “Could you, please, delete all the records of me?”
“Yes, yes, of course!” exclaimed the doctor, deleting them while Suna was looking. Nobody could know about her pregnancy, especially Kaya.
“Thank you!”
Suna left the clinic, calling only person that could understand and help her in this situation.
“Please, don’t end the call. Can we meet up in the cafe by the seaside in two hours?”
Nünkhet had never expected a call from her daughter in law. They were not on the best of the terms. The woman saw Suna as an obstacle in their revenge plan. Still she was curious what this girl wanted from her. So she was sitting by the table that overlooked the sea when Suna sat right in front of her.
“Mrs. Sönmez, I want you to help me disappear from everyone's life.” Suna said confidently. There was fire burning in the younger woman's eyes. Something had changed since Nünkhet last saw her.
“And why would I help you?” asked Nünkhet, looking straight in the eyes of Suna but the woman did not back down.
“Because you are the only one who can understand and help me. I would leave Kaya to fulfill your plan of revenge. I am a distraction for him and if he gets to know this, it will be even worse.” Suna slipped the test results to Nünkhet. The older woman looked at the paper in front of her. Suna was expecting a child, her first grandbaby. “Now you know why I need to disappear. I don’t want to give birth here where anyone could hurt our baby, or use us against Kaya in this war you are raging on. Now you know why you are the only one who would understand. We both want to protect our loved ones.”
“He is gonna hate you and me, if we do this. But I do understand you.”
“He may hate us at the start, but he will understand in the end. When all this revenge ends, you can tell him where to find us.”
“How do you want to do this?”
“I want you to kill Suna Şanli and be reborn as Suna Sönmez, who lives in London.”
“You’re tougher than I gave you credit for, my child. Why do you want to keep our family name? Wouldn’t they find you that way easily?”
“First of all, they think we hate each other and think I would never ask for your help. Secondly, they won’t be looking for me. You and I will make sure of it. They already don’t believe I am in a happy marriage with my husband.”
“You put a lot of trust in me.”
“As I said, we both want to protect our loved ones and we both want revenge to be served.”
“Then you have a deal, Suna Sönmez.” said Nünkhet, reaching out to shake her daughter in law's hand. Suna reached out and gave a proper squeez to it.
“One last thing I want to ask from you, mother, I can see you are determined like you are on the last 100 meters of a marathon, but, please, hold on for your first grandchild. I want you to see them being born. You deserve to see the next generation of Sönmez.”
That made both women tear up. Nünkhet got up and gave a hug to this woman. She was worth the family name for sure. Kaya has chosen wisely, even if his choice was made so quickly.
“Wait for my call in a few days.” With that, the older woman released Suna from a hug and left the cafe. Suna sat back down by the table, wiping away the tears. Hormones are already getting the best of her. But her plan was in motion. Now she just needed to play her role well for the last few days of this life she had been living.
*****
This year has been rough on Kaya in both physical and emotional sense. He lost both women he held in high regard in his life - his wife and his mother. His mothers still stung because it was so fresh and that he was kept in the dark about her worsening state. Still he granted her biggest wish of hers before dying - to see the Korhan family business burning down, bringing the whole family down with it. It was his biggest wish after his wife's death. They were the reason why Kaya lost Suna in such a freak accident, and then Halis prompting him to marry someone else just two months after Suna’s death. It was like someone had flickered on a lighter and put it to wire that leads to explosives.
“What am I even doing here?” Kaya asked himself, looking at the apartment building where the Sönmez family's old London flat was. Before Nünkhet had taken her last breath she had given him this letter. He still had it in his hand, holding onto it like a lifeline. The letter contained the address and just We’re sorry for causing you so much pain. Be free and happy now.
It confused Kaya to no end. How can he be happy without people that he loves? Still he got to the right floor, just staring at the doors till he finally rang the bell. It was quieter than he had remembered.
“I am coming, I am coming!” called out a familiar voice. No, it could not be. She was dead. “Feray, I didn’t expect you to be back so soon.”
There in the now open doors of the flat stood Suna. She looked better than he remembered. Happiness radiating from her in a way it never did in the mansion. In shock Kaya reached out to touch her face, putting the palm of his hand on her cheek. He had to make sure he was not hallucinating. Suna nuzzled up in it. She was warm and real, but how? He had seen the body, he had seen the DNA results, he had the ring of hers that he carries with him.
“How?” Kaya asked, while his brain tried to dig up some answers. How was his wife alive and well in London?
“Come inside. I will answer all your questions.” answered Suna, taking his hand and leading him inside the flat. It had a lighter and warmer aura there than he remembered. “Do you want coffee?”
It seemed to flicker up anger in Kaya. Suna was being so casual about returning from the dead that it irritated him. He backed her up to the wall, bracketing her in by his arms. She didn’t show any sign of fear. Kaya had never hurt her and she knew she could trust him still, even in his anger. He was breathing ruggedly like he had run. Suna understood the shock he was going through.
“You made me think that you are dead for more than nine months. You made me go through so much grief. I didn't even have anyone to turn to when my mother died. What excuses are you going to use, Suna? What even can excuse you for breaking the promise we gave each other? ANSWER ME!” he spoke angrily, even punching the wall near her head. This time he could see her flinch for a bit.
“I had to protect them.” answered Suna, looking at the door of the room that once was Nünkhets. This now was the nursery for their twins - Emre and Elvan. Two most important people in Sunas life. “You can be angry with me. You can even hate me but I think you will understand me one day.”
“Who is this “them” you are talking about?” asked Kaya, but the babies feeling their mothers distress and their fathers shouting started to cry. The man looked first at the door where the cries were coming from and then back at Suna.
“Suna!”
Kaya was so confused, putting out his anger. Why was there a baby or more than one crying in the flat? Suna slipped out from the bracket that Kaya made. She knew that he would follow her. Right now, she had to calm down their children. Suna was moving quickly in the nursery and had the twin calming down in no time. They didn’t seem to want to nap anymore, just looking around.
“Everyday I told them that their dad would soon come to us.” softly spoke Suna, looking at shocked Kaya who was standing in the door frame. It all was too much for Kaya. Before Suna could move, Kaya had dropped down on his knees, tears filled his eyes.
“KAYA!” exclaimed the woman, herself dropping on the knees in front of the man she loves. She pulled him closer to have him wrapping his arms around her. It reminded her a bit of his first breakdown that she noticed. Then they too were on their knees, hugging each other close.
“Did you want to keep them from me forever?”
“No, Kaya, I would never do that to you. I had to protect myself and them while you and your mother were on this revenge road.”
“I would have protected all of you. I would have kept you safe.”
“Would you be able to do what you had to do for revenge, if we were there?”
Kaya shook his head in a negative answer. He would have been vulnerable. Korhans would have used that against him.
“You had to finish that family for your mom and for our future. Could you imagine living a life constantly needing to look over your shoulder? I know I hurt you badly and the trust between us has been destroyed but that was all done for a longer game.”
Kaya wanted to understand what Suna was saying but hurt and betrayal was too fresh. “Kaya, don’t hate your mother. She helped me as another mother. She took great care of us.”
Suna got out her phone, showing Kaya pictures of his mom with their children. She had been in the hospital when they were born.
“Did you ever want to reach out to me?”
Suna took Kaya’s face between her hands, so he would look her in the eyes. She needed him to see what she felt through her eyes. He looked straight at her and she started to speak: “Everyday, I wanted to reach out. Everyday since the death of Suna Şanli, part of me has been in pain because I put you through all this. I just knew your love for me would be an obstacle for the nightmare to end. Hardest was the last months when I was pregnant. I needed you so much, I needed you to hug me and tell me all will be alright. I needed your soft kisses. I needed you to make me laugh. Your mom was here, and that had to be enough.”
Kaya listened intently, trying to take in all this information. Suna had wanted to reach out. She had wanted him there but the evil people in their lives had kept them apart. She knew that Kaya loved her, but most importantly he was a father.
“Can I hold them?”
“Of course, Kaya. They are ours. But I will need you to wash your hands before you hold them?”
“Yeah, yeah!”
Kaya got off the floor, leaving for the bathroom. He washed his hands and splashed some cold water on his face. His life suddenly had taken a 180 degree turn. His wife was alive and he was a father of twins. Just a few hours ago he was ready to give up on life when the universe threw all this on him. Kaya took a deep breath. He was ready to face the world.
By the time Kaya returned to the nursery, Suna had lifted Elvan out of the crib.
“You can sit in the rocking chair. I will put Elvan in your arms first. Emre here needs to have his lunch. That will allow you two to bond and then I will switch them. After feeding you can hold both of them. I think all that working out needs to be put to the test.”
Suna giggled, carefully putting their baby girl in the arms of her father. Kaya didn’t even notice Suna slipping out of the room with Emre. He was mesmerized by the cuteness of his daughter. She was a beautiful baby, having her mothers nose and his eye color. Elvan seemed to admire him back. Kaya used one finger to run down his baby's cheek. Elvan reached with her chubby hand and caught his finger. Kaya chuckled softly but his daughter was too fascinated with his finger and now used her other hand to grab it even more.
“Time for a swap.” said Suna, already in action of exchanging babies in Kayas arms. Emre wasn’t as aware as Elvan had been but he seemed as content as his sister to be in the arms of this man. Emre gave one look at his father with the same dark eyes that Suna has and then closed them because it was time for a post feeding nap for him. Kaya hummed the lullaby that his mom had sung to him when she was in the right mindset.
Suna returned with Elvan who seemed ready for her nap, too, in the arms of her father. Suna put the other baby on the other arm of Kaya. She could only have dreamed about sight like that. She took her phone and snapped some pictures for the albums of both kids. Their first picture with their dad. Also Kaya also seemed to be more content like being here had taken off the haunted look on his face.
“You’re natural, but wait till you have to change the diapers.”
“I think I can manage and surprise you.” Kaya said, looking up at Suna who stood by the door. This way giving the kids and their father time to bond. “Do you have space for another person in the flat?”
“Of course, Kaya! I am staying in the guest room because it is closer to the nursery.”
“You should have used my room. It is bigger.”
“We did use it.” mentioned Suna, soft blush covering her cheeks. Kaya raised an eyebrow in a question. “Each time I opened the doors, it smelled like you. When my kids and I were stressed out, we went there to lay in bed and breathe in the smell. It seemed to do the trick for all three of us.”
Suna traced away the tear. Kaya was now here. They had a lot to talk about, a lot to work through but he was there with them finally. She had missed him everyday as she had told him before. All these months were torture but this moment was so bittersweet. So Suna jumped to tell Kaya all about the things she had made to keep him up with pregnancy and their growth in these three months: “I made videos, took photos. There is also my pregnancy diary and scrapbooks for each of the children. All there for when you are ready to look at them. I just don’t want to overwhelm you.”
“Why are you standing so far from us?”
“I am allowing you to enjoy this bonding moment. I have had my fair share of those. You have three months to catch up on those.”
“I would love to bond with my wife, too.” declared Kaya with a sincere look on his face. “I thought I would be forever alone after your funeral, Suna. I just couldn’t imagine another woman with me. You poisoned me for all the other ones. Once again when I think everything is dreadful, you come into my life to make me the happiest man in the world.”
Suna had sat down on the floor that was covered in lush carpet by Kayas leg. She couldn’t handle what she was telling her. Too many emotions were coursing through her. Kaya was showing more trust to her than she deserved but she will take it. Suna supported her head on the thigh of her husband.
“I hope you can trust me one day again, Kaya.”
“Let’s not talk about it right now, Suna. Just enjoy this moment of calmness. Your plan worked out. I am here, you and the twins are healthy and happy. We are all together now.”
So Suna did as Kaya told her, closing eyes and just breathing in the smell of collagen that Kaya used.
At this moment, Kaya understood what his mother meant by the words in the letter. He was free from her illness that had always impacted his life, he was free from Korhans who had driven his mother to her illness, he was free to live the life he had always wanted. Finally free of all the chains that had held his spirit in pain. Happy about his kids, happy about his wife being alive, happy that he had more than he expected to have in life and most importantly happy to be alive next to his family.
Summary: When everything has been ruined and fallen in rubles around you, or at least it seems so. When all hope has been lost and there is no way out of hell. Is there a way to end all this pain? Is there a way to shake off the dust and start building something new?
Can also read it on AO3.
Kazim never thought he would end up in jail, especially to be put here by his own daughter. He expected that from Seyran but Suna seemed to always take what he served her. It must be those Sönmez’s poisoning her mind. He was just doing his job as a father to have two perfect daughters. He has been here for a few days and tried to stay low. Kazim was lucky to be in a different jail from Ferit’s father. It was breakfast time. He sat down where he could hide but still see others moving around the hall.
Suddenly this group of inmates were moving in his direction. Kazim could feel his heart beating faster and faster. This must be how the fear feels.
“Are you Kazim Şanlı?” asked one of the bigger inmates who by the looks of it was the leader of this group. Could they already know why he is here? Could they be sent to him by Suna? No, his daughter wouldn't choose such brutal punishment. This already was his punishment from her. To sit in the cell for the rest of his life. She was righteous like that.
“Who is asking?” Kazim answered it with a question of his own. It seemed to confirm it for the group. He was picked up by the scruff of his shirt like a kitten, pulling him in the hallway where there was a blind spot for cameras. The first hits came to his chest, not hard enough for him to bruise, but hard enough to stop his lungs from pulling the air in them, and then there were a few heavy handed slaps. It continued for some time till a man holding him up let him go. Kazim crumbled on the floor, pulling himself in embryo position to protect his chest from more hits.
“This is welcome to hell from Suna’s friends!” triumphantly said the bigger man, ending it by spitting on Kazim. Kazim has never felt more violated. Knowledge that this was only the beginning put the fear of God in the man on the floor. “A man who hits women is no man at all.”
*****
It was a presentation of Kaya’s company and jewelry collection. New beginning for Sönmez family name. Suna couldn’t be more proud of her husband. It has been two weeks since she had left the clinic and she was in court to put the past behind her. There were more court hearings but inspector Demirci said it will be enough with this one and final hearing. Their case was air tight.
“Penny for your thoughts?” said Kaya, making Suna jump a little. She had been too deep in her thoughts.
“I was just thinking how fast everything changed once again. Quite scary, if you ask me.”
“Don’t think about it today, Suna. Enjoy this party because this is also for you, darling.” Kaya told her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. That is when she noticed that he was wearing her made chain. Since she came out of the clinic, she has been restless with all the energy she didn’t know where to put. So Kaya had taken the matters in his own hands and patiently taught her how to make some jewelry pieces. Suna enjoyed just being able to focus on creating something beautiful. Her husband proudly wore every piece she created for men. Suna had made a bracelet for her mother in law. This time presenting Nükhet with it went so much better. She was wearing it today, too. Suna was wearing earrings and a pendant from this collection.
Jewelry making was the first step for Suna to find what she wants to do in the future. She always thought she would be a housewife like her mother but that never sat with her well. So with support from people around her, Suna started looking and going to different courses. Her choice fell on teaching kids languages. By next semester she will start university for it, but she could give individual lessons to doctor Ildis' daughter. She loved the feeling of passing knowledge down to the next generation.
“This party ends and we will leave for our honeymoon. I will think about that.” said Suna, playing with the chain she had made. It was her latest work and showed the improvement she had made.
“Yes, finally we will have our honeymoon. We for sure deserve it. Just the two of us, ocean and cocktails.”
“Sounds amazing. I hope the happy hour will continue in our bedroom.” Suna voiced her thoughts, winking at her husband.
“Suna! Don’t tease me before I have to go on stage.”
“Oops! I didn’t expect that I would have such an effect on you.”
“My dear wife, that is a lie. You know well what effect you have on me.” Kaya said, his eyes twinkling with fire. That was a promise of a good time when they finally reach their final destination. Someone called out Kayas name. “I have to get on stage but I need something from you before I go.”
“What do you need?”
“A good luck kiss.”
“I can do that.” Suna whispered, pressing a kiss to her husband's cheek. Kaya didn’t look impressed. “You just told me not to tease you. So get on that stage and then you will get a proper kiss.”
“You drive me insane, woman.”
“Pleasure is all mine, my husband.”
They both smirked at each other. The man again called Kaya and this time he left Suna, walking fastly to the stage. He looked so natural with all the attention on him. Kaya was basking in it.
“Welcome to the opening of a new family owned jewelry business and collection. I want to say thank you to all the people that supported and put their trust into this business. I hope I and this brand live up to your expectations.” Kaya stated, taking a deep breath before continuing. “The name of this collection is “Survivors”. It is dedicated to two strongest women in my life - my mom and wife. They showed me each day how much strength women possess. It may be our male duty to protect women but we have to appreciate their inner strength that also protects us. Also half of the earnings from each sale will go to crisis centers for women that have been abused. That is all. Enjoy the rest of the evening!”
Suna had tears in her eyes. Someone squeezed the palm of her hand. She looked to the right to see it being her mother in law who also had shine in her eyes with unshed tears. Suna really could not explain how this trust and support has grown between her and Nünkhet and it seemed to come from both sides of her. Nünkhet was becoming the mother figure that Suna never had in Esme. Even the “evil” side didn’t throw snide comments at her anymore. It seems like Suna, by putting Korhans behind bars, had soothed the other side of her personality. More like Nünkhet didn’t need to be afraid anymore, so she didn’t need this strong front.
She and Sehmuz would be joining her and Kaya on the third week of their honeymoon. Nünkhet had told Kaya about her end being near. Kaya had exploded, rushing out of the house. Suna had found him in the garden on his knees, his whole body shaking with sobs. She just sat next to him, rubbing his back up and down. That night, in the garden, under summer clear skies full with stars, Kaya opened up about his fears, about why he lashed out when there was the possibility of Suna leaving him. Suna saw her own reflection staring at her from the things he was telling her. So she opened up herself, telling all about the abuse and loneliness she endured, about the mind games that people played with her. There they came to the conclusion that they should have more talks like this, but also that Nünkhet deserves to live her last months being surrounded by her loved ones. Kaya told her how his mom had always wanted to road trip around Italy and France to try the best of foods. That is how Suna ended up planning this road trip for their family.
“Are you two okay?” asked Sehmuz, who seemed to be worried about two women with tears in their eyes. Kaya also caught the question, who had made his way to them from the stage.
“Yes, just my son making us emotional with his speech tonight.”
“Good thing I am wearing waterproof mascara.” said Suna, trying to lighten the mood. It was evening to celebrate as Kaya himself had said. All four laughed and clinked the glasses.
“To us!” affirmed Sehmuz, making them clink the glasses once again. “You, youngsters, can slip away and get ready for your flight. Me and your mother will hold the front for you.”
He didn’t need to say that twice to Kaya and Suna. They put down the glasses, and briskly walked to the door of the gallery where the event took place. Kaya turned to Suna and asked her: “Are you ready for this next phase with me?”
“As I wrote to you in the hospital, with you by my side, I can fight anyone and anything. It still stands. So, Kaya Sönmez, take me on this next journey of ours.”
Summary: When everything has been ruined and fallen in rubles around you, or at least it seems so. When all hope has been lost and there is no way out of hell. Is there a way to end all this pain? Is there a way to shake off the dust and start building something new?
Can also read it on AO3.
Suna was sitting in a car with inspector Demirci and Çan near doctor Ildis clinic where she had been staying for a month. She was getting better and the doctor was happy with her progress. Suna would leave this peaceful place in a few days. Kaya will come and get her. They had been calling each other while Kaya was in London.
Çan’s phone was ringing. Of course, it was Kaya. He straight away gave the phone to Suna. She was the only one who would explain and calm down her husband. Their plan was daring, to say the least. They were going to use Suna as the bait.
“Çan, Suna is missing.”
“Kaya.” Suna said softly, hearing her husband sigh in relief over the phone.
“Suna?”
“I know, Kaya, but I have to do it. I have to put them all away behind the bars. They are coming after me. Me and you know that this is the only way.”
“Will you be safe, my water fairy?”
“I will do my best. Also the inspector and Çan will have my back. You do trust them to keep me safe?”
“I do but I wish to be there with you to have your back, too.”
“That is exactly why we are doing this now. I know how you can react to me being in danger.” Suna told Kaya who chuckled at that statement. He was a man, of course, he wanted to protect his wife.
“Stay safe, my wife. I want to pick you up from the clinic and not the hospital.”
“I will do my best. I l..”
Kaya cut her off by saying: “No, don’t say it over the phone. I want to hear it when we are face to face.”
“Alright!” Suna answered in English. “See you in a few days.”
“See you!”
Suna gave the phone back to Çan. This conversation had made her rethink the plan. No, there is no going back. She wants to start a new life with Kaya without the past haunting them. This was the best and only way to go.
“Are you ready, Suna? We need to set up the gazebo in the garden and wire you up.”
“I am ready. Let’s do this!” said Suna with all the conviction she had in her. There was no way back now. This had to be done.
Inspector Demirci put a microphone on Suna while Çan worked on the gazebo. The additional policemen were hiding. She was safe and she could do it for herself.
When everything was ready, Suna sat down on the bench in the gazebo. It was a nice summer day, reminding her of the Marmaris trip. They really should go on honeymoon after Kaya launches his jewelry collection. Suna shook her out of those thoughts. She was a woman on a mission. Soon enough there were steps coming closer to the gazebo. There was the forever trio of bad news - Seyran, Ferit and Abdini. Gosh, to think that she once wanted to be part of this clique. Seyran noticed her and started walking faster with a big smile on her face, shouting out: “Suna!”
Suna tried to smile back but it felt more like a grimace. She was also tracking the other two men who were looking around to see if someone was close by. They really thought that her sister would lure her back in hell, but no, Suna had learned the hard way what it meant to trust these people. Once Suna would have done everything for her sister but not anymore. She was living her own life.
“Suna, my sister. I thought I would never see you again.” Seyran said, rushing in her excitement. She sat in front of Suna to obscure her view of two other men and their movements. This was really their plan to kidnap her from a clinic with the best security in Turkey. Yes, they were outside but Suna there were cameras in this gazebo put there by the clinic and now additionally by the police.
“It wasn’t like you were looking for me that hard. It has been two months.” Suna spoke with quiet confidence, not letting her emotions get the best of her. She was remembering all that she learned in therapy. Stay calm and it will make the real villain rear its head.
“I was, Suna. I really was, but they hid you so well for two months. Also the fake accusations that you put against Korhans and our parents have not made this situation easy on me or Ferit. But now we are ready to take you away and keep you safe from Sönmez’s. I don’t know how they brainwashed you so much in these two months. You will be in safe space and will soon enough call back all the charges, right?” Seyran spoke so full of hope that everything will go back to the old ways. Suna is just there to cater to her and Ferit’s needs, or be the one to receive all the abuse from their parents. For Suna it all felt like another lifetime, but fear gripped her for a moment at just the thought of being pushed back there.
“May I remind you, sister, you were the first one to make accusations against Şanli and Korhan families. Also I have my treatment plan that I have to finish. I am quite content here.”
“Suna, don’t be ridiculous. You don’t mean all those things. We will find you a better doctor that won’t brainwash you and make you go against your family. Soon enough you will be able to help us with another miracle.” Seyran said, trying to touch Suna’s stomach. Now she really could feel bile rising in her throat.
“Don’t touch me!” hissed Suna, crossing arms over her stomach. “Did you ever ask me about this miracle you want? Did you ever think that maybe I don’t want this?
Seyran looked back at her with a confused look on her face and a bit of anger in her eyes because how dare Suna stand between what Seyran wants.
“Suna, calm down. Of course, I thought about it.”
“Thought, you only thought about it, but never asked.”
“You have always helped me. This would have been another thing we shared. Like after a second failed marriage, you really thought that someone else would marry you again. I was giving you your best chance to become a mother. That is what you dreamed about.”
“I’m still married to Kaya. Our marriage hasn't failed like you all three wanted it to. Also, Seyran, if you really knew what my dream is, then it is creating a loving family. About that you for sure don’t know anything.”
“There, there, Suna, no need to be so rude to your sister and me. We are offering you such an amazing deal but you have to take after your husband and be difficult.”
“Better be difficult than cry baby. That is no deal you were offering me, it was simply you again wanting and Halis using all his power to give you what you want. Now there is no Halis anymore, your money can’t buy everything without a brain behind it. That you for sure lack.”
That made Ferit walk fast forward to Suna and hold her up by the throat. Suna could feel less and less oxygen reaching her lungs. She had experienced this two months ago, this time surrounded by people she once believed were her most trusted companions. Suna wasn’t scared and stared back at Ferit, making the young men feel uncomfortable. Everyone backed down after he showed his violent side, except Kaya. She really was the perfect match for his cousin.
“You once asked me, Ferit, who Kaya Sönmez is? The answer is the man I love and respect. The man you wanted to be in Halis eyes but never could be because of your own laziness and a way of thinking life needs to serve it all on the silver platter for you.”
“Shut up! Shut up!” shouted Ferit, squeezing Sunas airways even more, but she whispered: “Never!”
“Abdini, come shut her up with that sedative. Suna, here needs to learn a lesson on how to behave while talking to a man. Her husband seems to be doing a bad job.” uttered Ferit, letting Suna crumple on the floor of the gazebo. Suna breathed in slowly so as not to hurt her throat even more. She looked up to see Abdini standing over her with syrgin. All it made her laugh louder and louder with each passing second. Suna stood up, dusting off her pants and looked at the trio.
“She has gone mad. Those Sönmez’s have made her go mad.” muttered Seyran, burrowing in Ferits side like scared little animal. Once it would have made Suna’s instincts work over time but not anymore. She had her survival instincts up.
“What are you waiting for, Abdini? Put me down like the mad dog you think I am. Oh right, you are too much of a coward. Let me help you!” Suna said and walked closer to Abdini whose hand was shaking badly. Still he put the needle near her neck. Suna could feel it stabbing there but she didn’t move and didn’t show the fear. So much for the brave driver who once seemed like a prince in shining armor to her. “You all are fools.”
That was the safe sentence for the police to storm the gazebo. Handcuffing all three people, and taking them away. Suna could hear Seyran still going on and on how Suna is the psycho one.
“I hope this is enough to charge them.” whispered Suna who had started shaking, adrenaline leaving her. Çan put a blanket over her shoulders and Suna wrapped it around herself.
“It is enough and with the evidence that Pelin also added to your ones. There is enough to charge all three of them.” Inspector Demirci told Suna, admiring the young woman's guts once again. She herself would not have been able to do it, to be honest, but this woman did it and successfully.
Çan once again held out his phone to Suna. She took it with trembling fingers and whispered: “Kaya?”
“Suna, I had to make sure you are okay. Did it end as you planned?”
“It did.” Suna confirmed, but then it all hit her like a ton of bricks and the tears started to fall. Kaya could hear the hiccups of her wife.
“Suna?” asked Kaya, getting worried over his wife's well being. She hadn’t cried so hard since the day when Suna told him the whole story about what happened in the month they were seperated. He hated that he was in London, so far away from Suna.
“I am okay. It just hit me that this has ended in some sense. I know there is still court hearings but the torture has ended, and I won those demons.”
“You sure did, water fairy. You were your own savior in the story called your destiny. Now allow Çan to lead you back to the clinic. Get some rest.”
“I will. Come home sooner.”
“I will try.”
What Suna didn’t know, Kaya already was on his way to the airport in London. All the talks had been successful and with the rest Sehmuz could deal. He needed to be with his soul.
When Kaya got to the clinic, it was already late but the guards knew him, so he slipped in the clinic. He could find his wife's room in his sleep already. There was Çan by the door who looked surprised to see him there.
“She will be happy to see you. I will leave now that you are here.”
“Thank you for protecting her!”
“It is my job.” With that Çan left to enjoy the summer night. Kaya walked in the room to see Suna asleep with the book still open in her lap. He carefully put the book on the nightstand, marking the page on which she stayed. There was a spot on the bed that Suna had left for him subconsciously. Kaya took off his shoes and took the spot, pulling Suna closer to himself and pressing a kiss to her halo. They were back again in the same position as they were in hospital. This time the future felt brighter than two months ago.
Summary: When everything has been ruined and fallen in rubles around you, or at least it seems so. When all hope has been lost and there is no way out of hell. Is there a way to end all this pain? Is there a way to shake off the dust and start building something new?
Can also read it on AO3.
Kaya had kept Nükhet in the darkness but she knew something was going on. Both men in her life were being secretive. Her son seemed to be happier but something was bothering him still. As his mother she wanted to help him because her time was running out. So she went after the one who was easier to break. She found Sehmuz in the dining room, going over some papers.
“Darling, what are you and my son hiding from me?” she asked him softly, lulling his senses in calmness. He was so deep in the work that he even didn’t raise his head and started speaking: “Last week your son's wife tried to commit suicide. It seems that your and her family put her through hell. The girl is mute from the shock she experienced. She even left you a letter but that is still in the open case of hers.”
“And who exactly is leading the case?”
“Woman inspector Demirci.” Sehmuz answered and looked up at his wife. “I shouldn’t have told you that.”
“No, you should have told me a week ago. You know that my time is running out. I want to do good by people in my and my sons' lives. Do you have any inkling why she would write a letter to me? I have never been kind to that girl.”
“Yes, but you're the mother of Kaya. Also you know what your family can do the best. So I think she wrote to you because you would believe her.” Sehmuz voices his thoughts. It was true that she would believe things that Suna wrote because she had experienced her own hell. If not for Kaya in her belly, she would have choosen suicide, too. Anything just to escape from that hell.
“Will you drive me to the police station? I want to read that letter.”
“Okay, okay! Just because I know that you would get what you want either way.”
“You know me so well.”
The road to the police station was filled with silence. There was nothing to talk about really. Nükhet could only imagine what she will read in this letter but she knows that police will need Suna to say those things out loud.
Sehmuz had called beforehand so they were ready for their arrival. Inspector Demirci was waiting for them in front of the station.
“I am overstepping here a bit by showing you the letter.”
“Isn’t it addressed to me?”
“Yes, it is.”
“So it is my right to read it. Also you are curious if it can help you, I can see it in your eyes. Wanting to help women in trouble but also wanting to prove something to your bosses. So, please, lead the way.”
Inspector Demirci was shocked by Nükhet reading her as an open book but tried not to show it. She led the older woman in one of the interrogation rooms. The letter was laid out on the table already in a plastic bag for evidence. Nükhet took it and quickly scanned the paper, noticing tear stain smudges in some places. After that she started to read it properly, sighing each time when she saw a pattern of behavior she herself experienced.
“Do you need Suna to confirm all this?”
“Yes, shamefully we do need her to confirm it on the record, but she is yet to get her voice back.”
“I can help you with that. Just call whoever is Suna’s doctor for mental health.”
“How can you help that?”
“I will talk with her as a woman who has experienced similar things.”
They walked in the hallway and Nükhet told Sehmuz: “We need to go to the hospital to Suna. Most important that Kaya is away on a business trip.”
“He won’t like what you are planning.”
“I am only planning to help my daughter in law to find her voice again. He better say thank you to me when he comes back.”
“Then why?”
“Because my son would burn down the whole land for this girl and this situation could be the match that starts the slow path to the main subject.”
“Still Kaya will find out about it.”
“Yes, but that will happen on Suna’s terms and her terms only.”
Another short drive and they were in hospital. There were two guards at the room door. Nükhet could admire his son's vision of the future. When this story will hit even the police record, Suna will need all the protection she can get. Older woman was proud that her son wanted to protect his wife so thoroughly. Nükhet walked in the room with inspector Demirci and doctor Ildis following behind her. Just one look from the younger woman and she was tapping away on a tablet: “You have read your letter?”
“Yes, I did read it. You are very brave to take your destiny in your own hands.” voiced Nükhet, sitting in a chair that was usually occupied by Kaya. “But you have to continue being brave, Suna. You have to tell inspector Demirci all the details about it, or else they will be able to hurt some other woman.”
“I want to but I can’t speak.”
“No, you can speak, you can shout, you can scream this pain out. None of us will judge you about it. You are the only one who can put them behind bars. I wish I had half the courage of yours. I would have saved you and other girls.”
Slowly but surely the sob haved out of Suna’s throat and then came floods of tears. It seemed that the possibility of making sounds also made her want to cry. Suna screamed and punched her pillow. She was so angry, scared, disgusted and ashamed of herself, for allowing those families to even be near her. After a meltdown, she took a deep breath, traced away the tears and asked inspector Demirci: “Are you recording it?”
“I will start now.”
“I wanted to commit suicide because they wanted to use me as human vessel for a baby.”
“Come again?” asked the doctor who couldn’t comprehend what her patient just said. It felt so foreign to her. “Did you mean surrogacy?”
“Surrogacy usually is done by consent of the woman carrying. They didn’t intend to give me such a chance. In their new plan, I was supposed to be a living baby incubator. They tried to play mind tricks on me because that is my biggest dream to be a mother and have my own children. Then came the beating because I haven't texted Kaya for divorce papers, I haven’t sent horrible text that would hurt Kaya’s feelings, I have been refusing such an amazing deal, that I should be grateful that I could help Korhans have a heir. That I could help my sister and his husband have a child. Another sacrifice that I have to make just because Ferit and Seyran ain’t compatible. I knew that they wouldn’t let me get away alive so I took the chance to end my own life. I saw that as my only exit because they always get what they want. Golden boy and girl, always favored by their families.”
“How would have that played out? Whole hiding of pregnancy?” inspector Demirci inquired.
“They rented out villa outside the city so I would be out of everyone's sight. They would tell everyone that I was off traveling. Korhans had this clinic on speed dial. My sister would wear fake bumps, and after nine months I would give birth to Korhan heir. After that I don’t know what they would have done with me. I once again was just someone to use and abuse for them. This time they simply choose to play with something that is really important to me.”
The questioning and Suna answering went on for an hour. The woman had also a box in the bank where all the evidence that she gathered was at. There was enough information for inspector Demirci to put each and every Korhan behind bars.
“You did so good, Suna. No one else will get hurt because of that family.”
“I wouldn’t be this brave without your son by my side. So I have to say you were the first brave one or else Kaya wouldn’t be around us.”
“Take a rest, Suna, you did a huge job.” said doctor Ildis, giving the younger woman a pill that would help calm her nerves and get a nap. It has been a lot for Suna. She deserved to have a nap because the progress she made today was a huge jump. Doctor Ildis would have taken a different approach but they needed results because of ongoing investigation. Most important that Suna didn’t look too phased by it all. It seemed like she had come to terms with this side of her trauma.
Summary: When everything has been ruined and fallen in rubles around you, or at least it seems so. When all hope has been lost and there is no way out of hell. Is there a way to end all this pain? Is there a way to shake off the dust and start building something new?
Can also read it on AO3.
Kaya was sitting by Suna’s bedside in the room. He was worried about what if she woke up and he wasn't there. Çan has left for now. The doctor that his therapist had recommended was in the hospital, too. Sehmuz hasn’t sent anyone in his place yet but something in Kaya was irking him to get more men to stand in front of the doors of this room. He didn’t know what had happened to his wife this month but she seemed even more like the ghost of the woman he fell in love with. He also wasn’t the man who first walked into that flat either. Kaya just wanted his wife to be okay right now. All the rest can wait. There was a twitch from bed.
“Suna?” quietly asked Kaya, who had stood up and was now holding the hand of his wife. There was movement behind the eyelids. Slowly Suna opened her eyes to look at Kaya. Was she in hell? If this was hell, what did Kaya was doing here? No, he was too good to have ended up here. Kaya must be here to torture her because nothing hurts her more than knowing that she allowed him to walk away. Suna closed her eyes, trying to keep tears at bay. “Suna? Are you in pain? Let me call the nurses.”
Suna could feel that her body was hurting in all the places she knew it could feel pain and places where she thought it never could. No, this must be reality. But what was Kaya doing here? Would he really come to look after her? How did he find her? She didn’t take papers with her so her family couldn’t find her easily. She had thought out every little detail. Still Kaya had found her, he was here and holding her hand like he usually did.
Kaya saw how uncomfortable Suna looked, he had to get to call nurses. He let go of Suna’s hand but the woman grabbed his arm in death grip. The man looked down at Suna and she was begging with her eyes for him not to leave her.
“Okay, okay! I am not leaving you. I just need to call nurses so they know you are awake. Let’s find the call button.” keeping his tone light Kaya reassured Suna that he wasn’t leaving her. He found the button and pressed it. “Do you want to drink?”
Suna nodded in approval. Her throat felt like the Sahara desert. Kaya helped her with drinking. The cool water felt God sent, soothing the thirst in her throat. So she once again had failed to do something. Soon enough they will find her and take her away from the hospital and Kaya. No one can stop them.
“Hey, hey, Suna! My water fairy, look at me.” there was the softest touch to her cheek and soft words spoken to her. She looked up at him and he seemed to become even handsomer over this month even if that was possible. “No one knows you are here. We are keeping it under the wraps. I don’t know what got you so spooked but you are safe here. In the evening I will introduce you to your guards.”
Guards? Did Kaya know what kind of mess she was in? No, he couldn't know. He hasn’t been in touch with Korhans. Only one who knew was the paper of the letter to Nükhet. She was the only one who could understand. But her husband had always been smarter than others, knowing where others would strike.
“Mrs. Sönmez, how are you feeling?” asked the nurse who had walked in with two doctors following her. Suna opened mouth, trying to say something but no sound came out. Suna looked at Kaya in panic. What was wrong with her? Kaya looked at the doctors who seemed to be deep in thought. “Mrs. Sönmez, we will need to check you over. We will need to take photos for police investigation. Do you want your husband to stay in the room?”
Suna latched in Kaya’s arm even stronger. She was not letting him get away. He was the only one who she knew here and who she could trust. Suna was ready to show him what they had done to her. Slowly the nurse helped Suna sit up, her legs dangling over the edge of the bed. Kaya tried to not be a bother for the doctors and the nurse. They have gotten out a little whiteboard where Suna could write answers to their questions. Kaya should get her tablet but his thoughts got stolen by a sight he won’t ever forget. Suna’s back was covered in different size shoe marks and they didn’t stop just on her back. He could feel bile rising in his throat and anger in his blood. Still he needed to keep cool for Suna. She needed him here. As soon as the check over started, it finished.
“We will come back with a full report in a few hours. Now we will leave you and your husband alone.”
Suna scribbled on the whiteboard ‘Thank you!’ and the doctors smiled back at her. Always polite no matter the circumstances. Kaya wanted to know what had happened to Suna but he knew this was no time to ask for answers. She needed to heal physically for now before she could heal her mind. The man helped Suna drink some more water and take pain killers.
“Sleep tight, Suna! I will be here when you wake up.”
“You promise?” appeared on the whiteboard.
“Yes, I promise you. I will be here when you wake up. Remember you have to meet your guards and hear what the doctors say.”
“Ok.”
Kaya took the whiteboard from her and put it on the nightstand. Suna moved herself closer to one edge of the bed and patted the free space. He knew what she meant and they had their own silent conversation with their eyes. She, as usual, won it. He took off his shoes and layed down next to her, pulling her in as close as he could without hurting Suna’s beaten body. This time she seemed to be content in this position and seemed to want to burrow deeper in his chest like she was trying to hide from something or someone, and Kaya’s arms were the only place where she was safe and sound.
*****
As always when they started to find a footing, Suna was finding it, learning to trust people around her and tapping away happily on her tablet screen, shit hits the fan. Çan and Doctor Ildis could hear shouting in the hallway. Doctor Ildis was having one of her sessions with Suna. Çan was one of the only guards who was allowed to be inside the room. Suna and Kaya trusted him, and Çan had promised himself that he would treasure this trust. Today Kaya had a meeting with his investors. There were last bits he had to finalize with them over his newest collection. So two guards were by the door, Çan was inside the room with two ladies.
Shouting was getting louder and now Suna also had noticed it. She could not concentrate on anything else because she knew this voice.
“Suna!” said the doctor, but the younger woman had fallen too deep in her mind. Shaking back and forth on the bed. Her father was there to take her back to hell, and Kaya wasn’t here to protect her. “Çan, get the blinds closed before she sees him.”
They both worked on closing the blinds but Suna got a glimpse of her family. It was enough to get her off the bed, mouth open in silent scream and then turning the bed on the side, and Suna taking cover behind it. Doctor Ildis took cover behind it, too. Still trying to get through to Suna. They were making such good progress. Whoever was behind the doors was bane of all problems this woman had lived through?
Çan had seen Suna when she was just taken to hospital, but this somehow was worse to see. It was worse because just a moment ago a smiling woman turned scared and shaking like a leaf girl, taking cover behind bed. So he did the only rational thing that he could think of and called Kaya: “Çan, I am at the hospital parking lot. I will soon be there.”
“I am sorry, Mr. Sönmez, but it seems your wife's family have found out her whereabouts. She is having a bit of a breakdown and the doctor can’t get to her. So if you could talk with her while I deal with her family?”
“Before you give the phone to her. Are you all safe in there?”
“Two guards at the door, and your wife made barricades from her hospital bed.” Çan answered while there was a banging noise on the window of the hospital room. It was rattling but the guard didn’t let it bother him.
“Good, good.” said Kaya, letting out a relieved breath of air. His gut feeling had been right. He had hoped he could protect her longer from her family. Çan gave his phone to Suna who seemed to be more aware of where she was again.
“Mrs. Sönmez, it is your husband. I will deal with the inconvenience that is bothering your session with the doctor.”
Suna pushed a little smile out of her as a thank you, but it looked more like a grimace. “Doctor Ildis, will you two be okay?”
“We will be alright.”
With confirmation from the doctor, Çan walked out of the room into the halway. There straight up he was faced with an older man who was screaming in his face. This must be Kazim Şanli, Mrs. Sönmezs father.
“HOW DARE YOU AND THOSE TWO GORILLAS NOT LET ME SEE MY DAUGHTER?” Kazim continued the shouting and women behind him looked scared and covered each other. They tried to keep each other close, not even looking anyone in the eyes. Submissive to the bone while this man was allowed to rage with no consequences.
“First of all, I would like you to calm down. You are disturbing patients, also your own daughter from recovering. You disturbed her session with the doctor quite rudely.”
“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? HOW DARE YOU TALK WITH ME THAT WAY?” shouted Kazim, raising his walking stick to attack Çan but he predicted that, stopping it mid air.
“I don’t know nor want to know who you are. I have been nothing but polite with you while you tried to attack me. Be sure that I will sue you. You can wave to that or that, or that security camera.” Çan told the older man, nodding at all the cameras in the hallway and slowly lowering Kazim's lifted arm.
“Still doesn’t explain who allowed you to keep me and my family away from my own daughter. Who gave such an order?”
“That would be me, Kazim Bey.” said Kaya with a smirk on his face. He had ended the call with Suna, promising to be beside her. But first things first, he had to deal with her family once and for all.
“Kaya?” asked Kazim and the women at the same time. They were surprised to see him there. Did they really think he would be the same as them and leave his wife? No, he promised to take care of her and to love her.
“Yes, that is me. Your oldest daughter's husband.”
“You left her. There were divorce papers that she had to sign. It is you that keeps her away from us in this horrible place.”
“What divorce? I don’t know anything about it. Neither does Suna. If anything, I had a month-long trip to London for my business. I so kindly asked you to look after my wife, your beautiful daughter. But, oh no, I came back to find my wife missing and then in the hospital.”
“You can’t prove anything.” gritted out Kazim, trying to still look menacing but anyone could see that his ego had taken beating. Kaya made a facial expression that conveyed to an older man for him to even try.
“As for this “horrible place” as you put it, I have to say me and my wife are happy with all the support we are getting and there is one more I will use right now. These lovely men will escort you out of this hospital.”
Hospital guards got in between Kaya and Kazim, rounding up the Şanli family and moving them to the elevator.
“Çan, call the investigator Demirci. I want her to be on this case as soon as possible because she promised me that the family will get to know on our terms. I trust her but there is a rat in her team.”
“Will do, Mr. Sönmez.”
Kaya opened the doors to see that the hospital bed was back in the proper way. Suna was sitting on it and tapping away on the tablet. It didn’t look like his wife had a breakdown. Doctor Ildis gave him a soft smile, slipping out of the room.
“Will they stay away for now?” Kaya read out the question on the tablet screen. “For now yeah, because I scared them. But Suna, I can't promise that they won’t try again.”
“I am scared, Kaya. I don’t want to go back.”
“I know you are scared but we will take them and their attacks one by one. You are my wife, they can’t even try to overrule it. Can you fight them with me by your side?”
“With you by my side, I can fight anything and anyone.”
“That is my Suna that I know. Do you feel tired because I really do? Meetings are so tiring. Never get into a business, water fairy.” Kaya was telling her, filling in the silence. All the while getting ready to lay next to her in the hospital bed. He had gotten allowance for this because her doctor had seen improvement both in mental and physical health of Suna. This time she faced his chest and acted as a tiny octopus all over him.
Summary: When everything has been ruined and fallen in rubles around you, or at least it seems so. When all hope has been lost and there is no way out of hell. Is there a way to end all this pain? Is there a way to shake off the dust and start building something new?
Angst simply was angsting in my brain so had to put it all out.
Can also read it on AO3.
Suna was sitting on the dark beach. Once looking out on the water calmed her down. Night was covering her inner turmoil, pain and tears that haven’t stopped coming. She had put phone and two letters in a plastic bag and put a stone on it, so the sand and wind couldn't get to stuff. Not like anyone will call her or look for her. Her body felt so heavy and full with pain from the beating she had gotten once again.
“Once again all alone.” whispered Suna, dusting sand off the clothes she was wearing. “At least hell won’t be as bad as this living world. That is all I want. Some peace.”
Suna looked out on the sea once again. She always loved to be by it. Picking up prettiest seashells and creating art with it til even those art pieces got broken. One more deep breath, careful slash on one wrist, another deep breath and another slash on the other wrist. Tonight the sea was quiet enough that Suna could hear the drops hitting the sand.
“Prove them that you are brave, Suna, prove yourself that you can do it.” she encouraged herself to take each step closer to the water line. Soon enough Suna was in water till her shoulders.
“Just float away, Suna, like they all want you to.”
She layed on the back, allowing the sea to carry wherever it thought fit. She looked at the sky for some time, admiring the stars but her eyelids grew heavy. After sight also the hearing switched off. The darkness came as a relief to a woman who has been left by everyone in her life.
*****
Kaya was working in his little studio on Sehmuz’s property. He had moved here a month ago by his mothers request after she had heard that Suna wanted divorce. Of course, Nükhet had told Kaya how she was right about the girl. But the thing was no one knew Suna. Even he was wrong in his assumptions about who she is or what she needed.
That is the reason why he allowed her to walk away this last time. It was her free will decision and he allowed her that out. Just to prove to her and himself that he stood by what he promised her when he proposed to her second time.
Yes, it has hit him hard and today receiving divorce papers from his lawyer. That he signed to give his wife the freedom that she deserves. After that they were sent to Suna. Probably she was now celebrating being a free woman. He had the itch under his skin to reach for the bottle and numb the pain that was raging in his soul. It was also the reason why his mom asked him to move here. The mansion was nice, Sehmuz was nice enough to give him this little house as a studio for his projects. Kaya really liked it here and Sehmuz wasn’t that bad, and he treated Nükhet well.
“NO! I am stronger than that. I have a collection to finish.” Kaya reminded himself. “Tomorrow I will have a call with a therapist. Will talk through these emotions.”
Kaya had picked up therapy sessions back up with his previous doctor. Thank God for the zoom because he couldn’t imagine telling it all again to another person. It was bad enough one time but he knows he will need to work on that too sometime in the future. He wants to go back to work when there is a knock on his door.
“Come in!” Kaya calls out to see worried Sehmuz in the doors. “SEHMUZ! Did something to mom?”
“No, no. Everything is alright with your mother. She is asleep in her bedroom.”
“Then what? You look quite worried.”
“I am only about you.”
“Why about me?” asked Kaya, lifting up one of his eyebrows.
“Because I saw how singing those papers again pushed you on the bad side. You straight up left the house to work here. Usually, it is a sign that something is weighing you down. So I don’t want to mention that woman's name if there is a possibility you will get triggered.”
“Oh wow, you really have me down well. I promise you, I won’t be triggered if you mention Suna. So what about her?”
“Her younger sister called asking for you. I told her that you are not available to talk but she can rely her message to me. She wanted to know if you had seen her sister because they had this big family dinner and Suna didn’t show up. To which I answered that no, we haven’t seen Suna and that she for sure wouldn’t come to our house.” Sehmuz told him slowly, taking notice of any differences in Kaya’s facial expressions. They didn’t change even one bit.
“That was the right answer. Suna even doesn’t know where I live now. I haven’t spoken to her in a month. Seyran must have been really desperate to call us.” Kaya voiced his opinion. Of course, there was worry in his heart. Suna would never miss family dinner. It got beaten into her, quite literally. Always the perfect face and manners when the situation needed that from her.
“You are making that face I don’t like. She is not your business anymore, Kaya. You both made that choice today. Don’t allow that girl to control your life once again.”
“I am not allowing her to control my life. Worrying just a normal amount. As for a person that was close to me. Let’s go back to the house. I won’t be able to work anymore either way.”
“Let’s go! But next time I will want to see some pieces of the collection.”
“Those I will show when the whole collection is finished.”
Kaya had left his phone in the mansion. He didn’t get a lot of calls either way. Only some friends from London, calling him to offer jobs but he wanted to work for himself. His therapist also called and the lawyer too. No one else. First week he expected Suna to call but nothing came of it.
They reached the house and Kaya picked up his phone that showed him a lot of notifications, but as a red alert button between all of it stood a text from Suna.
All it said was ‘I’m sorry’. It made Kaya’s heart beat in worry even more. Something was not right. He could feel it.
“Sehmuz, could you ask your men to call all hospitals and morgues in Istanbul?”
“Why would you need that Kaya?”
As an answer Kaya showed him Suna's text.
“You don’t think she…” the older man couldn’t even finish the sentence. Kaya simply nodded, putting his head in his hands. The girl was so young, she had all the reasons to live her life. At least that is what he could see from the side. But he saw her just a few times.They all have been judging this girl so hard but they even didn’t know her story. Sehmuz had seen what that family could do to his wife and stepson. And there was more than one family with conservative views on life. Made him shudder to even think about it. He trusted Kaya’s ability to think straight about it. So Sehmuz started making calls to his men and to hospitals himself.
All the while Kaya reached out to his lawyer asking if Suna had signed the papers but the woman wasn’t at home. Lawyer had followed instructions from Kaya not to give documents to anyone else in that house.
“Destroy them.”
“Kaya? What has happened?”
“Suna sent me a text that says she is sorry. I don’t have a good feeling about it, Yaman. So if the worst of my predictions come true, I want to be sure that Suna gets the best care.”
“I will destroy them. You call me when you get new information. If what you told me about her family is so close to the truth, you will need all the help.”
“Thank you, friend!”
Sehmuz walked back into the room with the phone already on speaker. Kaya had put his own down, raising one of the eyebrows at Sehmuz.
“I think we have found Suna. Çan, tell Kaya what you told me.”
“Yes, boss. So there's this woman that they found washed out on some beach without papers but she had this silvery leaf ring on necklace. It is too unique to be any other ring. Police is here. They found a plastic bag with a phone and two letters on the beach, too. One of the letters is addressed to Kaya and the other one to Nükhet.”
Kaya’s heart was beating in his chest so hard, but he had to ask: “Is the woman alive?”
“Yeah, she is. They are not allowing me to get in the room or else I would have sent you a picture.”
“You can tell the police to try the phone code 7887.” voiced Kaya whose heart had calmed down a bit. Suna was alive. In hospital but alive. That is all that mattered.
“It unlocked the phone.”
“Wait for us there and don’t let anyone from Şanli or Korhan family get to her.” stated Sehmuz, ushering Kaya out of the doors and into the car. Nükhet has the best caregivers and guards. His stepson needs him and he won’t let him down.
They reached the hospital as fast as they could. Kaya seemed to keep a calm demeanor but he could see the emotions just boiling but not spilling over. The younger man knew he had to keep it together.
“Boss, here!” called out the now familiar voice. There were police officers and doctors conversing with each other.
“Hello! I’m Kaya Sönmez. Possibly the husband of the Jane Doe you have here. Can you tell me what happened?”
“Hello! I’m the case leading inspector. From what we have gathered the couple walking their dog found your wife on the beach without any signs of life, dressed in what seemed to be a wedding dress.” The older man told him, holding up the plastic bag. Kaya would recognize that dress anywhere. Sehmuz also took a deep breath next to Kaya. “I see that both of you recognized the dress. But to continue my story, the man tried the pulse, it was faint but there. They called for an ambulance. So she is here. Doctor tells me that she is on the edge right now. She lost a lot of blood from cuts on her wrists but cold water in the sea kept the blood flow slow. So you could say cold water saved her. The woman also had other bruises on her that could not be explained by the circumstances she was found in. Do you have any idea why your wife was there?”
Suna had tried to commit a suicide. She once said to Kaya that she wouldn’t be able to go through it a third time but this time it was her own choice. His wife chose to do it. He will think about it another time. Inspector was waiting for the answer.
“Me and Suna have been on a little month-long break from each other. She went back to her parents house. I have few ideas of why my wife was brought to that state, to choose the choice she made. But if I say them out loud, you will say I am accusing people without evidence, Inspector. I would like to see my wife now.” answered Kaya, keeping his cool because he really had only two families in his mind who could have brought his wife to such a state.
“Of course. This doctor will take you, but stay in touch.”
“You will be able to find me here, if you need me. I am not gonna leave my wife's bedside till she gets better.”
While the doctor was leading them upstairs to Suna’s room, he called Yaman to get a private investigator on this case and to prepare papers that Kaya can take care of Suna without her family finding a loophole. Kaya also called his therapist to ask for advice to get the best therapist for Suna in Turkey. He knew that she would need to pass a wellness check and go through some rehab but better have it happen privately. Suna already will be embarrassed enough.
“We are here. Today I would ask you not to worry here, let her body heal. Tomorrow I will allow you inside.” doctor told them and disappeared. While Kaya couldn’t take his eyes away from the woman in the hospital bed. Suna looked white as a sheet of paper and thinner than he remembered her being. Both her wrist bandaged, hiding the cuts she must have made herself but what stood out about it all was the blue bruising on the right side of Suna’s face. How did she hide it? Did no one notice?
“I will kill that man! I will kill him!” Kaya was raging, taking in more and more cuts and bruises on his wife's body. Did she really think no one would save her? Did she think that Kaya would not answer the phone? “Do you see, Sehmuz, what they did to her?”
“I can see that.” Sehmuz said, squeezing Kaya’s shoulder in support. There was no life spot on the girl from what he could see. It felt like she was kicked over and over again. He was afraid to think what the hospital gown and duvet was hiding. “Your anger won’t do you or her any good right now. My boys will help your investigator. But you have to take care of yourself and her right now. I can see that you still care about her even after everything.”
“It is not easy to rip love out of your heart. Also my therapist said that my mistrust could be the reason why she wanted to pull away. I showed her support that already was weird for her but then I would turn around and be cold. It really messed it up for us.”
“Don’t blame yourself or your trauma only. She has even deeper scars than you and possibly the healing you started has been ruined.”
“Go home. I will stay here.”
“Ok, but you call me if anything changes. Çan will also stay here with you. If her family finds out where she is.”
Summary: Hospital, Pelin's babies death, Seyran getting back with Ferit, fortune tellers words that were messing with her head. It all seemed too much for Suna and maybe what she needed to understand what is really important in her life. A lot of twists on episode of 58 and how I saw it going a bit differently. So here it is.
Can also read it on AO3.
Suna was disgusted by the sight in front of her. Her sister was back together with Ferit by the looks of it. Seyran said she would never get back together with him but then do this. After she humiliated her on national television, making her relive her trauma in a public space where everyone could look at her. Oh God, all this pain she suffered for her sister to run into the arms of a man that has been nothing but manipulative to her and even to Suna. Now she realized what fortune tellers words meant about letting go of the past.
It puts other things in perspective, too. Her father wouldn’t change, her mother wouldn’t change, her sister wouldn’t change. It is her and only her that could change her own destiny, and she had help just in front of her. Suna touched Kaya's ring that he made for her. He didn’t have to tell her but she had seen sketches in their room.
She had to find Kaya and tell how sorry she was. She has done nothing but hurt him while he had stood by her like she promised. Suna was determined now to also fullfill her part of promise.
Suna slipped out of the hospital. She just needs to breathe fresh air and to sit alone. Finding a bench near the doors of the hospital, if someone was looking for her, they would see her. But who would look for her?
“Suna?”asked her husband. Ask and the universe will answer. Crazy how stupid she has been these few weeks after allowing all these predictions to control her when all was in front of her. “Why are you not inside? Did something happen?”
“The baby died. Pelin also is struggling to stay alive. It was too much for me.” Suna answered Kaya who had sat down by her side. He was sitting further away from her. Their fight was still fresh even if he pulled her in close while they slept. “You and Pelin are/were friends, you should really go in and visit her. I will stay here.”
“Suna, is there something else bothering you?”
“I just…I could have been Pelin’s place and also our last fight about kids and how our marriage is unhappy.”
“You don’t have to explain it.”
“No, I really do, Kaya, I really do. And you will listen till the end like you promised me.”
“Alright!”
“When you mentioned us having a baby and leaving Turkey, it triggered me because I haven’t known anything else my whole life. Yes, I want to have children but I thought it would go as I planned. I would have them here surrounded by the family of mine but now that I saw what happened with Pelin, I am scared to have them at all with this toxicity around us.”
“That is why I suggested we move to London.”
“I know that now, but then it felt differently like you were ruining my plans. It sounds ridiculous now.”
“So why did you call our marriage unhappy?”
“Because it is. We have chemistry, passion and some kind of trust between us. But do we know each other, Kaya? Yes, you know most of my story but I don’t know much about you and you keep hiding behind walls when I hit too close to home. Husband and wife have to know each other in and out, especially in our situation to know how to help each other. Your spurts of over protectiveness and anger scares me, I know that you wouldn’t hurt me but they scare me. I want to reason behind this fear covered by anger. I want to know what you love, what you dislike, what your passion is. I want to see baby Kaya pictures. I really want to make it work but do you want to do it, too?”
“I do want to make it work, Suna. It is simply hard for me to open up because all my life I had to keep my real emotions and hurt hidden, but then you came and disarmed me in the first few minutes we met. So my over protectiveness comes from fearing that someone will steal away the only person that can see the real me.”
“I am not asking you to open straight away but an explanation after your outbursts would be nice and I will try to talk more about what goes on in my mind, too. I want to build a better home with you for our family than our parents ever tried.”
“I know we started a bit other way around in our relationship, but how about I take you on a date to the best coffee shop in Istanbul?”
“Yes, I would love to but you really should visit Pelin. I think she needs a friend besides her even for a bit.”
“Will you be okay here by yourself?”
“I was okay before you came by.”
“Then there were no mustached idiots around you.” Kaya said with his jealous streak striking once again. Innerly it made Suna prean a bit because for once she was someone's first choice and not some expandable.
“Kaya…”
The couple's nice talk was interrupted by screaming Ferit who jumped on this other guy, punching daylights out of him. Suna stood up in shock but Kaya sprung into action, pulling Ferit off the man with help of Seyrans friend. Suna has had enough of that man child and him ruining her moments with Kaya. She walked over to three men and stood in front of Ferit, slapping him with all might she has.
“Ferit Korhan, stop being a man child and bringing more disgrace to this family's name. We are in front of a hospital. Have some respect for other people for once. This is not about you. It is about Pelin fighting for her life.”
“You have no say in this, Suna, you are no part of this family. Also why do you care about Pelin so much suddenly? You yourself attacked her a few times.”
“I may not be part of the Korhan family. Not that I really want to be, I am happily part of the Sönmez family and I quite enjoy it. But, sadly for me, my sister is still your wife. So you can count this as my last favor to her. And about Pelin, I am a woman and compassionate human being, and I know I could have been in the same situation as her. Yes, that woman is the main concern right now and when she wakes up, God give us the miracle, you all will be ready to deal with her grief. You can pour all your insults at me, it won't be the first time but you will pull your sorry arse together.”
“Sister, you can’t say that.” uttered Seyran who Suna hadn’t noticed at the start.
“Then, Seyran, deal with your husband yourself. I don’t want my husband to help him anymore. Also his driver could have helped him, if they are such good friends. Come on, Kaya. We are leaving.”
Suna turned onto her heel, knowing her husband was following her. Once they were back inside the hospital, she took full breath and then breathed out. Kaya once again pulled her in a hug, to comfort her as usual, but he whispered in her ear: “That was quite hot, Mrs. Sönmez.”
“This is no time and place for that, Kaya. Also you promised me a date and I am not a girl who puts out on a first date.”
“You’re gonna make me work for it?”
“I sure will and I expect the same from you.”
Still she stood up on tip toes and pressed soft kiss to his lips, whispering herself: “You getting in the middle of that mess was quite hot, too, Mr. Sönmez.”
“You stay here, I will be back soon.”
With that Kaya left her in reception of the hospital. She needed a moment to breathe and think about what she had said. All that spilled out of her really had made her feel lighter. Like she was not keeping a stone on her own chest. She had to do this more often. She had opinions and the right to voice them like right now when Abidin stood in front of her.
“Now I am only a driver, Suna? Is this how it is going to be? Change a husband and forget who really helped you all along.”
“Don’t make me laugh, Abidin. Helped me when and where? When my father married me off to Suffet against my will and I pleaded with my eyes for you to stop it. The time when you, Seyran and Ferit promised that you would save me from that horrible house.”
“Ferit was hurt.” Abidin tried to but in, but Suna continued to talk: “Or that time when I was the one who went inside the lion's den to save Seyran. Which time exactly did you help me? Each time you promised to help me, I got worse and worse than the last time.”
“You really think that London boy will make you happy.”
“What I think is none of your business, but if you want my honest answer then yes, we will both make each other happy.”
“You don’t know anything about him. How can you be so naive?”
“We are going to change that soon. Our date awaits us, Mrs. Sönmez.” said her husband who had come back already. Kaya put his arm around her shoulders and she felt some anger disappear from her body. “Or you Abidin want to read my biography, too. Are you a hard or soft cover guy? Hmm, looks to me like a soft one. I will surely send you a copy. Then again it feels like you already know a lot more about me, don’t you?”
“And if I do?” asked Abidin, stepping forward and trying to look more menacing. Only effect it had on Kaya was him letting out a laugh and telling Abidin: “Then I better take my wife on a date and tell everything and more you could dig up about me. Pretty sure, it was hard work for you.”
With that Kaya started walking out of the hospital and Suna followed. This time around she even didn’t glance back but muttered one thing: “This is not about gratitued. It is about being able to be more than Seyran’s oldest exposable sister.”
Summary: Suna has had enough of the abuse she has received from her father. The person that once has hit you will never change. So she puts a stop to it but just around the corner another blow comes to her. Can she keep her strength to fight for life she deserves? Come and follow her down this path.
Can also read it on AO3.
Suna had wanted a little break from everyone in Korhan villa so she went to her family's new home. It has been weeks since her talk with Kaya about leaving for London. She still was confused but Kaya’s treatment of her was disarming her. Still she couldn’t make up her mind. So many what if’s running through her head because of her previous experiences. Suna really needed to start healing her mind and she couldn’t do it here.
Of course, even here the drama followed her. It seemed that once again her father was back to his old ways and the things she had built in her mind started to crumble. Once again she was laying on the floor with Kazim screaming over her body but this time there was no Kaya to protect her. How could she be so stupid? How could she allow her mind to play such tricks on her? She had to know better.
“You are such a disgrace to this family. Third failed marriage. Maybe I need to lock you in the basement till I find some idiot that can deal with you.” Kazim roared after hearing his oldest daughter's conversation with her mother and aunt. Once again she was someone she could dispose off like some kind of trash. His rage was followed by another slap that landed on Suna’s right cheek. It was like that slap really restarted her brain. No, she won’t allow him to walk over her. Her own rage that she had stored in herself was bubbling over the edges. She was Sönmez now, she was married to the man that stood up for her. Time to stand up for herself and show that she was worth the name she was wearing. Suna stood up, spitting blood on the floor.
“Oh really, father, I am a disgrace to this family. I am still married to Korhan’s grandson.” stated Suna, coming closer to her father, who for once in his life seemed scared of her. Good, she liked to see him scared of her. “You are the disgrace of this family for not being able to provide us with the life we deserve. You are the one who sold out his own daughters to rich men to grab cushy money and live a lavish life. So don’t you dare tell me I am a disgrace to this family because I am not part of it anymore and have never been.”
“Suna!”exclaimed her mother.
Suna didn’t even turn to look at her, still looking at her father and said: “What, mother? Am I too harsh to him? Am I throwing back taunts that he so easily flicked at me? You are as guilty as him for not protecting me and Seyran from this. I had to protect her by taking on twice as much of his abuse. I wish you all well and happy life but don’t you dare to come close to me and my family ever again, or I will show you what kind of disgrace you raised.”
With all said and done she was out of doors of that house. Wow, that really felt freeing. Finally she left out everything that had been choking her since childhood. Now she had to find Kaya and talk with him. It really was time to take matters in her own hands. She was ready to trust him. Taxi was waiting for her at the door but she was ashamed to get in it, looking like a mess. Oh hell with it, she just needed to get to her husband and the storm was raging outside. It felt like the sky would fall down. She sat in the back of the taxi, telling the guy the address.
Something was bothering her the closer they were getting to the house. Suna looked out of the window at the raging sea but noticed a weird pile under the tree. They were only five minutes away from the house.
“Please, stop here and wait a few minutes.”
“Madam, it is not safe out there.” the taxi driver told Suna but she really had to see what that weird pile was. Maybe someone needed help in this horrible weather.
“Then would you, please, escort me. I will pay extra for it.”
The driver walked to her side of the car, opening the door and holding an umbrella over both of them. They started to walk closer to the pile but the closer they got the more like a human body it looked. The lightning strike made everything around them go bright, and then she noticed a familiar mess of hair and silver chains.
“KAYA!” she screamed and started to run to her husband's side. She fell to her knees and turned his body on the back. Suna felt something warm touch her hand. It was blood. Her husband's head was bleeding. Suna screamed again in despair like a banshee.
“Madam?” the taxi driver asked tentatively.
“Please, call an ambulance and police. Someone had attacked my husband. Please, do it quickly.”
The man nodded and walked a bit further away from the couple on the ground. Suna took off her scarf that was around her neck and wrapped Kaya’s head as carefully as she could, constantly muttering: “Don’t you dare to leave me, Kaya Sönmez, don’t you dare. You have so much to show me in this world. Ambulance will soon be here. You just have to hold on and listen to my voice.”
Suna could hear all the sirens going off, so she pressed a kiss to Kaya’s forehead, whispering: “You hear that, Kaya. They are coming for you.”
After that everything was a blur. Suna and Kaya were packed in an ambulance. Police promised to come and talk with them to the hospital. When they reached the hospital, she was separated from her husband because doctors wanted to look her over too. Suna had forgotten that she had cut a corner of the lip and bruised cheek. All her thoughts were with her husband. The hospital gave her some pajamas because her clothes were evidence now. Finally after a few hours she was in the hospital room with her husband and mother in law who seemed to have one of her clarity days. She wasn’t flinging insults at Suna and that was a start.
“I know that you think I don’t deserve your son but I really love him. I hope that one day you can see clearly that I am not taking him away from you.”
“I know that, child. Simply my other side is more vicious but even she has some respect for you after today. You brought him to safety and protected him like a real wife should do. You are good for him and we will try to come to terms with it.”
“Do you know who did it to him? Is it because of revenge?”
“I have no idea, Suna, but the police will deal with it. Worry about your husband right now.”
“I always worry about him.”
“And he worries about you. You are two sides of one coin. Both abused, neglected and used in the plot of other peoples games. We promise you and him that you are free of those obligations. Go live your life.”
“Not yet, Nükhet. This time is my time to show everyone what kind of disappointment I am.”
“Are you ready to burn all the bridges, child?”
“For myself and him, I will do everything. Those bridges were shaky and slowly burning to start off. Nobody touches my family and walks freely.”
Nükhet finally saw what her son had seen in this girl. Under all that abuse was lioness ready to protect what is hers. There seemed to be no more veil of fear like something had ripped it off. By the look of Suna’s face, she knew what had happened.
*****
Next morning was a rough one. Kaya was still unconscious but Suna could answer the police's questions. They showed her a video from security cameras showing some man following Kaya. That man looked quite familiar to her. Then the man turned his face to cameras to hide from Kaya who had felt that someone was following him.
“Do you know this man, Mrs. Sönmez?” asked one of the police officers.
“Yes, I do. If you need, I can make him come here and confess everything.” stated Suna, looking at surprised police officers. Abidin really overstepped all the boundaries with this move.
“Of course, the faster we can close this case the better. We could not but notice your injuries, do you want to open a case against this person?”
“If we are at it, sure. I will just text that person in the video.”
Suna allowed them to take photos of all the bruises on her body and other injuries she had sustained under her fathers strict upbringing that has left scars that would never be erased. They took her statement about her father. She really hoped something would come out of it. Even if not, she stood up to him, exposing his dirty deeds. Suna’s phone vibrated on the table.
“He is here.”
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Sönmez. We will be close by.” the police officer reassured her while putting on a microphone on her. They really should not be worried about her but Abidin. There was no angrier being that hurt and disappointed woman. “Do everything to get it out of him?”
When Suna met Abidin in front of the hospital, she could see that Kaya had gotten him well. His jaw was purple with already formed bruising there and some bruising under an eye.
“Suna, what happened to your face? Did someone hit you?” asked worried Abidin, trying to touch her face. She slapped her hand away.
“Not like you don’t know who could do this to me. You have always just stood there and watched me being abused like my own mother. You couldn’t even help me once. You are a coward.”
“Don’t say that, Suna. I did so much for you.”
“What exactly did you do for me?” asked Suna, leading him on the way to confess his crimes. “What should I be thankful for, Abidin?”
“I rid your life from that so called husband of yours. I saw how sad he was making you. So I did help you. It was so easy to get rid of him. Possibly, he is already dead by now. You are free to do what you like.”
“Abidin, what did you do to Kaya?”
“Nothing that he didn’t deserve for hurting you. Just left him to die like the bastard he is.”
Suna could not take it anymore. She slapped him as hard as she could and got her fingers twisted in Abidins hair, pulling as hard as possible to put him on the knees, sneering: “Don’t you dare to call my husband a bastard. You know, Abidin, by this you only helped my father. He will marry me off to another creep that you won’t be able to take on because you will be too scared.”
A police officer was pulling her off Abidin but she was not letting go that easy. She kicked him in the side and his howl of pain was satisfying.
“That is for hurting me and Kaya. I hope you like your jail cell.” she shouted after him while Abidin was getting taken away.
“I knew we should have been worried about that man more than you.” said Nükhet who had seen everything go down from the sidelines. “Officer, you can let my daughter in law go. She won’t hurt anyone anymore. I think you have more pressing matters to attend to.”
The two women walked back to Kaya’s room in silence but before Suna could step over the threshold there was a hand on her shoulder, turning her so she could face her mother in law.
“I am proud of you, Suna. You kept your promise so I am keeping mine. You are free from my own revenge. Go, live a happy life with my son.”
“Nükhet, Kaya wants you to come with us.”
“I know, child, but my time here is not done yet. I will join you soon enough. Oh, by the way, here are yours and Kaya’s clothes and bathroom stuff. The rest of the stuff I asked to be moved to a flat I rented for you two. There is no reason for you two to return to that snake pit.”
“Thank you, Mother!” said Suna, stepping into the hospital room. There was her husband wide awake and smiling at her not like someone wanted him dead just yesterday. Just seeing that smile made Suna finally allow herself to cry. Kaya just opened his arms, ready as always to support his wife and allow her to hide in his arms. That is all Suna needed right now. Her husband's warm hug and understanding that they are allowed to be happy.
“I love you!” spoke Suna, looking in the eyes of her husband. He deserved to know that he had reached this goal of his. He had fully disarmed her and showed her that life she wants is possible with the right person.
“I love you, too, my water nymph!” he answered her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
They were back in Turkey, after seven years. They were back in the airport where they started their new life. This time there were more than two of them leaving the plane. Their two kids - four year old son Asim and their one year old daughter Eylül, each on different sides of their dads hips. Asim was pointing out different things and chattering away.
Eylül was following her oldest brother's antics. Kaya was listening so attentively to his kids like he had done for her time and time again. Each day destiny was proving to Suna that they made the right choice about leaving this country and saving themselves. They were followed by their friends from London who had wanted to see where their friends came from.
“We are finally in your home country. Can’t wait to go to Marmaris. Your stories about it are too good to be true.” said Jason who was the jockster of the group. Suna had become friends with him while she was studying to receive her business bachelor degree and after that also masters one. Kaya, of course, didn’t trust the guy till Jason showed off photos of her wife. That is how they bonded by gushing over their wifes. The kids loved their uncle Jason and aunt Mandy. “But in general, I can't wait to enjoy the sun after the rainy months we have had in London. So lead the way, Sönmez.”
Asuman was the only one from the past that they had let in, so she was the one awaiting them all in front of the airport with a minivan that would take their company to a rental house that could fit them all. They were so used to living in each other's pockets by now. Kaya and Suna started their company with these people. They still supported their jewelry business. Mandy by being their lawyer and Jason by hosting their collection openings in his fancy restaurant.
“SUNA! KAYA!” exclaimed Asuman, rushing to hug them. She has always been their fairy godmother. “Hope the flight was nice and babies didn’t fuss a lot.”
“No, kids were too enthralled by the whole thing to make a fuss. They have that from their mother. Always interested in something new. Asim is already thinking about becoming a pilot.” answered Kaya, handing Eylül to Suna and Asim to Mandy, so he and Jason could deal with their baggage.
“How is the Korhan house doing?” asked Suna, interested in hearing what has happened in the last 24 hours. To gauge the situation of how to approach Ferit when telling that her and Kaya’s company will take over Korhan’s family one.
“Ferit is still in denial and tells everyone that he can save the company but we all know that is too late for that. He let it run to the ground. Do you really want to take over a company so run down? It has lost all of its best workers.” Asuman was worried about them and their livelihood. Ferit still thought he was the young golden boy that didn't need to move even one finger but running a company was hard work and sometimes no weekends. Suna knew all about it. Ferit had received power over the company after Halis death. Neither she nor Kaya went to the funeral, sending their representative instead. Suna was pregnant with Asim and Kaya in no way would leave his wife even for a few day trip. Of course, that angered Korhans but there was nothing they could do. That was only four years ago and now the company lies in ruins.
“Don’t fret, dear Asuman. We have it all under control. Since you kept us updated so well, we kept our eyes on the Korhan’s company. We already wanted to branch out and I believe that workers will return to us.” explained Suna, trying to lessen worry of Asuman. “Mandy, we will go with the rip the bandaid approach.”
“I already have the papers ready to review them. I can’t wait for tomorrow to see how you rip that guy a new one.”
“Mandy, don’t forget to record it for us.” said Jason, laughing out loud because that Ferit won’t know what kind of train hit him. Their ladies are the force to reckon with.
“Will do, honey, will do! Can’t have only me having fun seeing it.”
*****
Suna and Mandy were in the elevator going up to the president of Korhan company office. She could feel anxiety filling her body. Suna hadn’t seen Ferit for seven years and she can’t predict his reaction to her and Mandy. That man sometimes possessed old fashioned looks.
“Suna, breath. Maybe Kaya should have come with you and not me.”
“No, no! I am gonna get hold of myself. It is simply as my therapist said, memories coming back all at once but I am in control. Also Kaya would have punched him as soon as he saw him, I am sure of it.”
“Well…he would be right to do so. Also you know I am not against whooping his arse in a physical way, too.”
“No, I think our usual way of action will be good enough.”
“We got this?” asked Mandy, squeezing Suna’s hand. Squeezing back was all the answer Mandy needed. Then opened elevator doors and they stepped out in the hallway leading to the office.
“Hello! How may I help you?” asked the secretary sitting by the table.
“We having meeting with Mr. Korhan at 10AM. We are the “Key to the soul” company representatives.” Suna told her, putting on her cooperative voice. This was like any other business transaction but it was more. Their revenge would be complete once and for all even if they had forgotten about it all a few months after finding their footing in London. But the universe told them that all the doors to the past need to be closed. That is why Suna is doing this.
“Yes, of course, Mr. Korhan is already expecting you. Let me lead the way.” she said, getting up and women followed her further down the hallway. “Mr. Korhan, the representatives are here.”
“Send them in.”
Suna took a deep breath and marched in the office with Mandy close by with her phone camera turned on already. She had promised her husband the fun and she is gonna deliver. If Suna wasn’t so much into the business, she would have made an amazing advocate. Ferit even had turned his back to them. Ahh…defensive from the start. So Suna was not surprised when he started to speak to them with his back turned to them: “I would be happy to ask you to sit down but I don’t think it would be necessary because I am straight up declining your offer.”
“Well…I am not surprised this company is so run down when the director of the company can’t even look in the eyes of another company's director. That is quite rude, don’t you think, Ferit?” observed Suna who sat down in one of the chairs and Mandy did the same.
Ferit spun on his heel coming eye to eye with Suna. She looked amazing in her navy blue pant suit. Time has been good to her. Still shocked, he asked: “Suna, what are you doing here?”
“You yourself asked the “Key to the soul” companies director and their lawyer to fly out to Turkey, so we could talk face to face. So here I am, but it seems my life was rudely interrupted once again by you. Can you for once make a proper decision in your life and stick to it?”
“You!? A director of a jewelry company? No way Kaya would have allowed you to work in such an important position.Or have you divorced that bastard now? Poor guy couldn’t handle such a gold digger as you.”
On the side of Suna’s vision, she saw Mandy’s hand ball in a fist but she showed her to calm down. It was not her first rodeo with this idiot in front of her. He could not hurt her anymore. Still Suna stood up from the chair, Mandy followed the suit, holding out the folders for Suna to take.
“Are you the one to talk about gold diggers, golden boy? How is Perlin by the way?” Suna leveled Ferit with one look and the silence stretched out, making the boy uncomfortable. “If you think you know even a thing about my family, you have lost your damn mind. I was here to talk about business and how to make this merger softer on your company but no, you had to stoop so low and call me gold digger and drag my family into this.”
“Suna, I…”
“Stop before you dig the hole even deeper.” remarked Suna. “I was ready to look past our history and give you and this company a chance. My husband is still part of the Korhan family, even if I know you would want him to disappear in thin air. Well, we really don’t want to be connected to the Korhan family either. Still we wanted to give you the olive branch, but, Ferit, don’t forget I have all the time in the world to see this company go down in flames and there is more than one company that would be happy to merge with us. Do you have the same time? Do you have any other options?”
Once again silence took over the huge office. That really was all the answer Suna and Mandy needed. Suna put the folders with two options for offers on the Ferits table and announced: “We will be leaving now. We are here till the end of the week. Ferit, really go through those two offers with all the people that are left in this company and think, if losing the company that is your grandfather's life work, is a legacy you want to leave. Say hi to my sister Seyran. I wish I could say it was nice meeting you but it really was not.”
Drive back to the house was filled with Mandy chatting away with their taxi driver. She was exercising her Turkish as she said. Mandy knew Suna needed the time to think about what had happened in the office. She already has sent the video to their husbands. Jason had been vocal about wanting to punch the dude in the face and Kaya agreed. Mandy now knew Suna was right about leaving Kaya at home.
Kaya was there opening doors of the taxi and lifting his wife out of it who still seemed like she was far away in her thoughts. Mandy paid for the taxi and saw her husband in the driveway with two strollers.
“I thought we could give them some alone time. Suna really seemed out of it.”
“I would be, too, if I had to face my sisters husband, that had to be mine, and then all the mess happened, and then he calls me gold digger.” stated Mandy, taking the stroller with Asim while Jason was making funny faces at Eylül.
“Darling, you know you would have broken his nose before he even got to digger part but our Suna is more sophisticated. She really ripped him a new one.”
“That was epic. Kaya really choose his match.”
Back at the home Kaya was holding a crying Suna in his arms. She had cried a lot in first years in London when she started to work with her therapist. He also knew how grueling the therapy could be. Kaya let his wife let it all out of her system. Water glass ready on the table when she was ready to face the world once again.
“I wish I could take away your pain, my wife.” he whispered in the halo of her head. “It hurts me that I allowed him to hurt you again.”
“No, Kaya. I am not crying because he hurt me. His words are just words of the man in despair.”
“Then why?”
“I just thought about what could have happened to us if we stayed here. The hate and pain we would feel for each other.” said Suna, pulling her face out of her husband's chest and greedily taking the glass of water.
“Oh you, silly wife of mine. No need to think about it. We both are here, and have two amazing children. We have two great friends that love looking after our kids.”
“Are you saying we are alone in the house?”
“That is exactly what I am saying. How about we make another cute sibling for our children?”
“It seems like you are a man on a mission already and who am I to stop you.”
“As always you know what to tell me.”
Giggles and happy moans filled the room. Today's bad experience is once again forgotten as a bad dream.
Author's Note: This is AU that I started this morning before the new episode aired, so I could not have predicted that plot would match so well. Only just changing the main character who asks the other to move. Also Suna has not seen the fortune teller in this story.
Can also read it on AO3.
Part 2: HERE
Suna was getting more and more anxious in this house. She saw that Kaya was closing her out again. He was giving her support this whole time and she believed now was time to give him some. Possibly, by pulling all of them out of this snake pit.
Suna had to talk with Kaya. She already had a plan in her head and four tickets to London for all the important people in Kaya's and his moms life. He simply had to listen to her and say yes. She knew that he would listen, he always did but saying 'yes' part was trickier.
She was taken out of her thoughts by Kaya walking in their bedroom. Suddenly, Suna was feeling anxious but she had to be strong for both of them. She couldn't allow the Korhan family to ruin Kaya, like they have done with Ferit, heir golden boy.
"Kaya, can you, please, lock the door and come sit down next to me?" she asked softly, patting a spot on the bed next to her. Kaya lifted one of his eyebrows but did as she asked. He took her hands in his and Suna was transported back to the moment when he held hands like this after her father had humiliated her infront of him. That was a moment she knew she could trust Kaya. Suna felt so guilty over all the lapses in judgment. Now was her time to help him.
"Suna, has someone from this house did something to you? Tell me, I will deal with it." Kaya said, trying to get up but Suna held on to their intertwined hands.
"No, no, Kaya! It is nothing like that. But I need you to promise to listen to what I am going to say without interrupting me or I will lose my courage. Can you promise me that?" He shook his head in approval. Suna took a deep breath and squeezed Kaya's hands, taking a bit of courage from him like she needed.
"Kaya, I want us to move to London."
"But..." Suna cut him off quickly: "You promised to listen to me without interrupting. Can you do it?"
"Yeah, I can. You simply took me by surprise."
"I have been thinking about it for a long time. I want us, your mom and her friend to move to London because we deserve happiness and a good life. I want our marriage to develop without all this negativity and drama around us. Also our happiness and us just living our best life is the best revenge we can get. It will take time but it is better than living here and always looking behind our backs. Why did I think about it? Because you saw how they tried to ruin our engagement and wedding. We were happy and they were burning with hate."
"What about your sister?"
"She chose herself where her loyalty lay when she humiliated me. You were the only one standing by my side no matter what. I have never had someone do that for me. So let me stand by your side and tell you that I don't want to turn into them. I don't want you to let that darkness in you. I want you to stay as you are. Maybe even become better. I want us to become better. Start our family somewhere our kids will be safe, too. I have ideas on how to reach our goals, if you trust me." she finishes, pulling out four plane tickets out of her jacket pocket.
"What if I say no to this idea?"
"Then I will go to London by myself. I want to see where you grew up and studied for a few weeks. As you said I have to see the world. Finally learn what I want from life. Then I will come back and stand by your side like I promised."
"How long do I have time to think?"
"Till end of the week. I will leave these with you. Just hide them somewhere, they won't be found."
*****
Suna was waiting for the gates to open so she could board the plane. She was there alone. Still looking out in the crowd for her husband. They didn't talk about it anymore. Suna wanted him to make this choice by himself.
By asking himself what he really wants in life, what he deserves in future. Suna looked down at her ring that was made from Kayas design. Then suddenly there were feet in her line of sight. She lifted her head up to look into her husband's eyes. Kaya has come, he really chose this and trusted her.
"I couldn't allow my wife to travel all alone to foreign country. Also who could be a better guide than me." he told her teasingly but her mind was still stuck on "my wife" part. It sent a thrill through her.
"Well...then we shall board the plane, my husband."
Once again they went hand in hand to start this new chapter of their life. Together as one team, not looking back at all.
there’s nothing more romantic than someone choosing to learn you. flipping the pages in your soul delicately and digesting your chapters with an open mind no matter how difficult or uncomfortable some of your moments read, treating each bookmark with no judgment, but pure love.
Based on this fanart and on a lil brairot with @redhead-writes, who wrote half of it. y'all should go and reblog the art rn.
Bradley sees in a video that people with loved once who had cancer cut their hair so the loved one won't feel alone in their struggle. When Bradley comments on that, over dinner, that maybe he could do the same and Mav could too, Ice stares both his husband and his kid in the eyes and "if you do that you can start searching somewhere else to live until your hair are back" and he leaves the dinner table. The point is that Ice loves their hair. Loves running fingers through their hair. It calms him down. So no, no one is getting haircut because how could they be trying to take that away from him because someone does stupid things as cutting their hair to show support? They can show their support trying not to say stupid shit like that and Ice knows he's probably being a little arsh and the momet Bradley is going to talk to him he's goinf to apologise and try to explain why it's important for them to not do such thing. Not for him, not ever.
So, instead, Bradley decides to grow his hair a bit longer, and sometimes, after a longer day in the hospital, Ice spends a couple of hours with him, trying to fix the nest his kid has decided to grow on his head and he gets comfortable enough to be able to finally relax.
(With Mav, the ritual is the same, but not really. After the first time the man shaves his head, Ice doesn't let anybody else get near his head if not his husband. It's painful because the first time he had to watch all his hair fall on the bathtub, it felt a little like he was never going to see them again, but now, when they are in the same situation, Mav hums softly along the radio and washes his head with Mav's favorite shampoo and Ice feels a little better, after. It doesn't fix shit, his hair are still growing up all fucked up and his voice isn't there more than it is, but he feels less lonely, less ready to let go.)
