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The One Where Everybody Finds Out

this took me about five hours appreciate this (based on the Friends episode obviously)

Hermione and Pansy were sitting on the bay window talking about unimportant things. The feud between the Gryffindor and Slytherin ceased to exist after the war and especially after the eighth years got stuck in one space together. This happened, of course, when they found there was not room for the eighth years in their respective common rooms (though Hermione always had the sneaking suspicion that Professor McGonagall just wanted more inter-house unity).

Their meaningless conversation suddenly stops when Hermione gets up to retrieve a book she left by the fireplace. Pansy stared out across the quidditch pitch where she noticed two boys get off their brooms. She immediately recognized them as Harry and Draco. “Hey, look it’s Harry and Draco.” She called out to Hermione. They were extremely close, but Pansy blamed that on the distance she was looking at them from. She saw Harry slither his arm around Draco and pull him closer so their chests were touching. “Ahh!” Pansy exclaimed at the action.

“What?” Hermione ran back, a worried expression settled on her face.

“Ahh! Harry and Draco! Harry and Draco!” She pointed in their direction where Harry and just looked around them before pulling Draco down and snogging him vigorously. “Oh my eyes!” She looked away as if she just saw something purely revolting. “My eyes!”

Hermione attempted to calm her down by yelling over her. “No Pansy, it’s okay! It’s okay!”

“They’re kissing!” She yelled, still in a state of panic.

“I know! I know!” Hermione exclaimed, yelling louder so that Pansy would hear her.

“You know!” She yelled back, incredulously.

“Yes, I know! And Ron knows, but no one else does so you have to stop screaming!” Hermione recalled the day when she opened one of Harry’s letters by mistake. It was the most horrible thing she’d ever read in her life and she didn’t dare repeat those words to anyone. That is until Ron gave hints that he knew what was going on, so Hermione being Hermione, forced the truth out of her boyfriend and found out that he had caught them snogging in their shared dorm room. Neither of them have spoken about the two boys being in a relationship since.

Just then Neville walked through the entrance to the empty common room. “Hey, what’s going on?” Both girls screamed in surprise, but Hermione turned it into joyus yelping while Pansy stood behind her with a look of shock still on her face.

Hermione jumped in around Neville so that he was no longer facing the window where, as Pansy looked back, the two boys were still trying to suck each others faces off. “Nothing! We’re just so happy that exams are over!”

Neville’s face softened now that he thought there was no danger around. “Yeah, we’re all pretty hap-” But as he turned to meet Pansy, she mimicked the jumpy excitement of Hermione so that he was, again, facing away from the window.

Both girls were jumping up and down and yelping in excitement until they were sure their friends had finished their make out session. They stopped abruptly and were thankful that no one else walked into the common room while they were in that state of chaos. The girls sat back down at the bay window, which left a confused Neville standing in the middle of the room.

Once they common room was empty again, Pansy launched into questions about the couple. “So you mean all those times that Draco and Harry said they were studying or when Draco said he was owling a friend from Beauxbatons?”

Hermione nodded and sipped the tea that she conjured for the both of them. “Yup. Doing it and writing dirty letters to each other.” Hermione shuddered at the thought of the letter she read that led to her discovery of their relationship.

“I can’t believe it!” She exclaimed for what seemed the thousandth time today. “I think it’s great… for Harry.” She took a sip of her tea. “Draco might be able to do better.” Pansy stated honestly. They heard the common room door opened and whipped their heads around only to see Ron walk in. They both let out breaths of relief as Hermione called him over.

“Guess what? Pansy just found out about Draco and Harry.”

Ron’s eyes widened. “You mean how they’re friends and nothing more?” His voice was laced with panic.

Hermione paused of a moment while she drew in a breath. Sometimes she found Ron’s slowness on the uptake endearing, however sometimes it tested her patience. “No, Ron she knows. They were on the Quidditch pitch and she saw them snogging through the window.”

Ron’s face relaxed, which told Hermione that he understood the situation.

“Okay wait,” Pansy interrupted. “So they know that you know,” She pointed at Ron. “but they don’t know that Hermione knows?”

He looked confused by the phrasing of the question and had to think for a moment before answering. “Yes, but none of that matters now. Now enough of us know that we could just tell them that we know, and all the lying and the secrets will finally be over!” He said happily. Hermione knew that this secret was killing him.

Pansy interrupted again, this time a smirk playing on her lips. “Or we could not tell them and have a little fun of our own.” Hermione scrunched up her face in confusion and Ron’s face fell into a deep frown. “You know, every time they say they’re going to study you could give them some of your favourite books to read so you’ll have someone to discuss it with.”

Hermione’s face lit up. “Oh! I would enjoy that!”

“No, wait wait, you know what would be even more fun?” He asked with mock interest. “Telling them.” He switched his tone to a serious one.

Hermione considered this for a moment. “Yeah, no. I wanna do Pansy’s thing.”

Ron started to protest, but Pansy spoke up. “You don’t have to do anything. Just don’t tell them that we know.”

“No!” Ron yelled desperately. “I can’t take anymore secrets! I got your secrets. I got their secrets. I got secrets of my own, you know.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “You don’t have any secrets.”

“Oh yeah?” Ron straightened up, looking offended. “Well, you don’t know about Marvin, my secret candy stash.” He looked satisfied for only a seconded until the realization hit him and his face glowed as red as his hair.

Pansy and Hermione stared at him, weird looks on both their faces. Hermione turned back to face Pansy and cleared her throat. “So… How- how are we gonna mess with them.”

“Well, you would use your position as the best friend obviously.” They heard Ron gasp in protest, Pansy ignored him and went on. “And I would use the strongest tool at my disposal, my charming good looks and elegance.” Hermione nodded her head in agreement. Ron looked like he had given up all hope.

“Hello, children.” Harry greeted them as he waltzed up to them. Hermione gave Ron a wary look. They two girls greeted him back cheerfully while Ron did so in a more morose way.

Pansy smirked at the Hermione and Ron. “Watch and learn.” She said while Harry was still out of earshot. She stood up rather seductively and made her way over to Harry.

“Hey.” She said and looked him up and down. “Wow, that Quidditch uniform looks great on you.”

“Really?” Harry asked, he looked confused as to what was happening.

“Yeah, the material looks so soft.” She laid a hand on Harry’s shoulder and trailed it down his arm like she saw Draco do earlier. “Oh, hello, Mr. Bicep.” She bat her eyelashes innocently. “Have you been working out?” She twirled her hair on her finger.

Harry looked uncomfortable. “Well, you know… Quidditch.” Pansy launched into a fit of giggles and shoved him lightly. “Are you okay?”

She stopped giggling and smiled softly at him. “Well, if you really wanna know…” Pansy looked down at the floor, shyly. “I can’t tell you this.”

“I know we haven’t known each other long, but you can tell me anything. We’re friends now.” He looked concerned.

Bloody Gryffindors. She thought. “Actually, you’re the one person I can’t tell this to and the one person I want to the most.” The smile fell off her face gradually until she looked rather serious.

“What’s going on?” He asked, his face turning from uncomfortable to worried.

Pansy hesitated. “I think it’s just I haven’t been with a guy for so long and you know how sometimes you’re looking for something and you don’t even see that it’s right there in front of you, holding a broom-” Pansy stopped abruptly as Harry looked down at his broom and his eyes widened. “Oh no, have I said too much?” She put a hand over her mouth. Hermione and Ron were mesmerised by Pansy’s performance. Hermione made a mental note to compliment her on it later.

Pansy removed the hand from her mouth and smiled shyly. “Just something to think about. I know I will.” She said seductively and walked out of the common room. Harry stood there, he looked frantically at Hermione and Ron for some sort of explanation, but Hermione just shrugged and Ron seemed to be frowning at the floor.

Night fell upon the grounds and Harry and Draco were cuddled up in whichever bed they chose to sleep in that night, Draco was rubbing his hand gently over Harry’s chest and admiring him. “You are so cute. How did you get to be so cute?” Draco asked.

“Well, my grandfather created beauty potions as you know,” Harry relished the little confused tilt of the head Draco gave before continuing. “And my grandmother was, actually, a tiny little bowtruckle.”

Draco chuckled lightly. “Okay, now you’re even cuter.” He moved the hand up to Harry’s cheek and kissed him sweetly.

“That is a popular opinion today, I must say.”

The smile on Draco’s face fell slightly. “What?”

“The weirdest thing happened in the common room today, I think- I think Pansy was hitting on me.”

Draco laughed skeptically. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m telling you, I think Pansy thinks I’m foxy.” He told him.

Draco rolled his eyes at his choice of words. “It’s not possible.” Harry looked incredibly offended. “That’s nothing on you, it’s just Pansy is the gayest person to walk this earth. She’s probably gayer than me!” He reassured Harry as he began to rub his chest again. Harry’s expression softened. “I just think you misunderstood her.”

Harry squirmed so that he was propped up on his elbows. “I didn’t misunderstand I means she touched my bicep, for Merlin’s sake!”

Draco quirked an eyebrow and squeezed his upper arm. “This bicep?” He teased.

“Well, it’s not flexed right now.” He rolled his eyes. Draco grinned and kissed him again before cuddling up at his side and falling asleep.

The sun rose on another gorgeous Saturday. Draco just knew he wanted to spend it with Harry. Draco still had one more N.E.W.T.s exam to take, which was History of Magic which no one, not even Hermione, took again. He was pretty confident that he knew everything, yet it was the perfect excuse to get away from their group of friends.

He walked out of their dorm and spotted Hermione, Pansy, and Harry all sitting my the fireplace. “Hey, Draco. What are you doing today? Wanna come walk around the lake with us?” Pansy asked once she saw him.

“Actually I was gonna study, I got History of Magic on Monday.” Draco said smoothly. Pansy and Hermione exchanged knowing looks. Draco turned to his secret boyfriend. “Harry, wanna do it with me?

“Yeah. I’ll do it with you.” He replied all too quickly.

Hermione knew that Harry hadn’t taken History of Magic since fifth year, but didn’t comment. Instead she pulled out a book that she had purchased a while back for some light reading. “Oh here. This should help you. Plus we can discuss it later.” Hermione said enthusiastically. Draco turned around nervously and was relieved to see that he had already read that book cover to cover. He told Hermione this and she proceeded to pull out yet another book. Draco wasn’t so lucky this time. He had never even heard of this book, where did Hermione find it? Draco took the book reluctantly.

Hermione stood up and gestured for Pansy to do that same. “Well, we’re gonna go. Bye.” She said as she headed for the the door.

“Bye, Harry. I miss you already.” Pansy said in his ear and squeezed his bum before following Hermione out the door.

Harry gaped at her and didn’t speak until the girls left. He turned to Draco. “Did you see that with the inappropriate and the pinching?”

Draco looked quizzically at the door and then at Harry. “Actually I did.”

“So now do you believe she’s attracted to me?” He asked, a bit of triumph leaked through his voice.

Draco thought for a second and gasped. “Merlin, she knows about us!” Harry’s eyes widened. “Pansy knows and she’s just trying to freak us out. That’s the only explanation for it.”

Harry’s look of triumph quickly wiped off his face. “B- but what about my pinchable bum and my bulging biceps?” He asked as he started rubbing his upper arm. Harry looked up after a second of doing so, feeling no muscle there. “She knows!”

Harry and Draco barged into Ron’s room, knowing he’d be the only one in there seeing as it was passed noon. “Ron.” Harry yelled. The ginger jumped awake and fell out of his bed. He looked up at the two boys from the floor, looking quite disoriented before getting up and sitting on the edge of his bed. “Yeah?”

“Pansy knows about us.” He told him.

“Well, I didn’t tell them.” He said defensively.

“Them? Who’s them?” Draco asked frantically.

“Uh, Pansy and… Ron.”

“Ronald?” Draco asked again, this time more threatening.

Ron sighed. “And Hermione.” Harry and Draco jaws dropped. “I would’ve told you, but they made me promise not to tell.” Harry looked at him sadly. “I’m sorry.” He apologised sincerely. “But, hey, it’s over now right? ‘Cause you can tell them you know they know, and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!” He smiled brightly.

“Unless-” Draco started, a devilish smirk starting to form on his face.

“No! Not unless! This has to end now!” He pleaded.

Draco ignored him. “They think they are so slick messing with us. But see, they don’t know that we know that they know.” The smirk was now prominent on his face. Ron looked as confused as ever, but Harry seemed to understand what he was getting at.

“Ah, yes.” He said. “The messers become the messees!” Ron slumped back down into his bed and sighed hopelessly into his pillow.

By four in the evening, Draco and Harry had devised and master plan. Harry sent Pansy and owl telling her to meet him in one of the empty classrooms after dinner.

“Hello, you.” She greeted him in a sultry voice and leaned against the door frame, running her hands through her hair.

Harry was prepared this time. “Hello, Pansy. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

Pansy seemed to be taken aback by this because her sexual composure dropped. “Huh?”

Harry moved closer. “You know that thing you said before. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t intrigued.”

“Really?” Her face was now contorted with confusion.

“Listen, why do you come by my dorm tonight? I’ll let you feel my bicep… and maybe more.” He winked.

Her face stricken with shock. “I’ll have to get back to you on that. Okay bye.” She said as she ran away. Harry felt a bit of pride and grinned lightly to himself.

Pansy ran back to the common room, which was thankfully close to the room she was just in and empty. “Merlin’s beard he wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!” She yelled, looking disgusted.

Hermione stood up at once. “Are you kidding? I cannot believe he would do that to Dra-” She stopped mid sentence and turned around, pointing an accusing finger at Ron who was trying his best not to look guilty. “Ronald, do they know that we know?” She asked menacingly.

Ron shook his head. “No.” His voice quavered.

“Ronald?” She asked sternly, sounding a bit like Mrs. Weasley.

He immediately gave in. “They know you know.”

Hermione groaned angrily. “I knew it! Ugh, I cannot believe those two.” She crossed her arms.

Pansy was equally as angry. “They thought that they could mess with us? They’re trying to mess with us?” She thought for a second. “Wait a minute. They don’t know that we know they know we know.” Ron shook his head, he was on the verge of tears, but Hermione nodded approvingly. “Ron, you can’t say anything!”

“Couldn’t if I wanted to.” He replied sardonically.

“Okay, if he wants a date, he’s gonna get a date!” Pansy said and pulled out a spare piece of parchment. “Be sexy.” Hermione advised. Pansy rolled her eyes. “Please.”

While Hermione and Pansy were strategizing, Draco and Harry were celebrating in their room. “She looked panicked! They’re totally gonna back down.” Said Harry after he told him what happened with Pansy. Draco pulled Harry closer and they started snogging, only breaking when they heard pinging at the window. They saw a brown tawny owl with a scroll attached to it’s leg. Harry opened the window to let the bird in. It flew onto his desk and stuck out it’s leg for Harry. When he unravelled it he groaned. “It’s from Pansy.”

Harry,

I’d love to come by tonight. Shall we say around seven?

Harry waited for some instructions. Draco shook his head. “Write back. Say yes.” Harry looked at him like he was mad, but he took no notice of this as he shoved a quill and an ink bottle into his hand. Harry quickly scribbled a “yes” and sent the owl on it’s way. He came back a couple of minutes later with another response.

Harry read it out loud Good. I’m really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse. Harry yelped and through the parchment on the floor. “It’s okay. Relax.” Draco put a calming hand on Harry’s shoulder and they started to plan for every possible scenario.

It was nearing seven and the girls (plus Ron) were getting ready in Pansy and Hermione’s shared dorm. “Show time!” Hermione said excitedly when Pansy exited the bathroom. She was wearing a tight blouse that had buttons all the way up, some of them remained unbuttoned so a fair about of cleavage was showing. She was also wearing a particularly short skirt with thigh high socks and cute little boots that stopped just above her ankles.

“Hermione, can you conjure up some Firewhiskey and glasses?” Hermione complied and Pansy grabbed them from the air. Ron rolled his eyes and slumped in Hermione’s desk chair as the girls left the room.

“It’ll be great.” Draco said, rapidly fixing Harry’s shirt collar. “You just make her think you wanna have sex with her. It’ll totally freak her out.” He smoothed out the shoulders of Harry’s shirt.

“How far am I going to have to go with her?” Harry asked, a little hesitant about the plan.

Draco waved him off, moving his attention to his hair, which he tried to make lay flat. “Relax.” He told him. “She’s gonna give in way before you do.”

“How do you know?” He asked sporadically.

“Because you’re on my team.” He answered as he finished fixing Harry up. “And my team always wins.” He sounded a bit insane, but had that glint of determination in his eyes which Harry always loved to see.

Still, Harry was skeptical. “At this?”

Draco rolled his eyes. “Just go get some!” He pointed to the door and kissed him roughly, jumping apart when they heard a knock at the door. Draco ran into the bathroom and closed the door.

Just before she knocked, Pansy and Hermione had a talk outside Harry’s room. “Okay, I’m going to put an amplifying charm so I can listen in.” Pansy nodded. To be honest it reassured her to know that Hermione was listening to their conversation. She turned around to knock. “Wait,” Hermione turned her around and unbuttoned another button on her shirt. She went to unbutton another one, but Pansy stopped her.

“Don’t give away the farm.” Hermione nodded and cast the charm. She stood up against the wall so she wouldn’t be seen when Harry opened the door.

Harry gave a nervous sigh and composed himself before pulling the door open. “Pansy.” He said charmingly.

“Harry.” She replied in the same voice.

“Come on in.” He gestured for her to enter and she did so.

“I brought some Firewhiskey. Would you like some?” She held up the bottle and glasses in her hands. Harry nodded. Pansy impressively levitated the glasses and bottle, tipping the liquid into them with her wand. She floated one over to Harry, one to herself, and set the bottle on a desk nearby. “So here we are. Nervous?”

“Me? No. You?” He asked, hoping she’d break then and there so he didn’t have to go through with this. He knew Pansy long enough now to know that that dream was quite far fetched.

“No. I want this to happen.” She replied.

“So do I.” They clinked glasses and downed the entire contents of them, both parties needing some extra strength for the night ahead. “I am going to put on some music.” He flicked his wand and Celestina Warbeck played softly in the background.

“Maybe I’ll dance for you.” Pansy replied. She started swaying her hips in a suggestive way and Harry became aware of her attire for the first time. A blush creeped up his neck. The thanked Merlin for his brown skin at this moment.

She danced up to him and stuck out her chest so abruptly that Harry jumped. He quickly recovered by telling her she looked good. Pansy thanked him. “You know, when you say things like that it makes me wanna rip that shirt right off.”

“Why don’t we move this into the bedroom?” He smirked, knowing she’d back down. The shocked look on her face told her he was right.

“Really?”

“Oh, do you not want to?” He said slyly.

“No, no.” Harry smirked. “First I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me.” She was the one who smirked this time.

Harry’s voice quavered. “That would be nice. I’ll go get the lotion.” He practically ran to the bathroom once Pansy turned her back. Draco jumped back, his ear was no doubt pressed to the door only moments later. “This is completely getting out of hand, okay. She wants me to put lotion on her!” He whisper shouted.

Draco put his hands out to stop his boyfriend. “She’s bluffing!”

“Look, she’s not backing down! She went like this!” He mimicked the dance move Pansy did where she stuck out her chest, making Draco jump as he did.

Pansy was also talking to Hermione in the hallway. “He’s not backing down. He went to get lotion.” She told her, more calmly than Harry telling Draco.

“Aww man. Aren’t you guys done yet?” They heard the familiar voice of Ron say behind them. “I wanna talk to my best friend!” He whined.

Hermione sighed, agitated. “Just look at it like this, the sooner Pansy breaks Harry, the sooner this is all over and out in the open.”

“Ooh, I like that. Oh, show him your bra.” Ron told Pansy. “He’s afraid of bras, can’t work ‘em.” Ron reached forward and ripped Pansy’s shirt open so that only the last four buttons remained buttoned.

“Ronald!” Pansy yelped. She examined her shirt. “Wow, you didn’t rip any buttons.” She stated, clearly impressed.

“Not my first time.” He said proudly and Hermione blushed. Pansy walked back in and made to close the door soundlessly.

Draco and Harry were still talking in the bathroom. “You go back out there and you seduce her ‘til she cracks!” He thrust the lotion into Harry’s hand.

“Okay, give me a second.” He kissed him passionately. “You’re hot when you’re crazy.”

“Of course I am.” He replied as he pushed Harry out the door. He saw Pansy at the door (which meant that she had successfully closed it without making a sound).

“Oh, you’re leaving.” Harry stated, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders only to be placed back on by the reply.

“Not without you, lover.” She walked toward him, looking down at her now open shirt then back up at him several times. “So… this is my bra.” She told him as if it weren’t already obvious.

Harry looked down at it then quickly back up to Pansy. “It’s very, very nice.” His voice was now shaking. “Well, come here. I’m very happy we’re going to have all the sex.” His heart was beating fast in his chest.

“You should be. I’m very bendy.” She stepped closer to him, the distance between them was miniscule. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

“Not if I kiss you first.” He may have been extremely uncomfortable, but he was determined to win for Draco. Though he wasn’t sure what he’d be winning.

Pansy put a hand on his waist. Harry mimicked the movement but quickly removed his hand when he felt a bit of her skin on his fingers. She put her other hand on his waist and attempted to close the gap between them, but Harry put a hand between them causing him to almost touch her breast. Her breathing increased, slight shock could be registered on her face, but Harry was too distraught to notice.

He removed his hand at lightning speed and let it hover over Pansy’s shoulder, still not touching her. He slowly lowered it down to meet the fabric covering it. She gasped, but covered it with a laugh. It came out nervous all the same.

“I guess there’s nothing left to do do bu- but kiss.” Harry stated, dreading that she wouldn’t back down.

“Here it comes.” Pansy replied, dropping the act of seduction she had put on all night. “Our first kiss.” Harry looked nervously toward the bathroom, willing Draco to burst out and save him. When he did, Harry leaned in hesitantly, as did Pansy.

Their lips met and it was the worst and most awkward thing he had ever experienced. He couldn’t take it anymore. Harry pushed Pansy off of him and yelled. “Okay okay okay fine fine. You win!” Pansy laughed in victory. “I can’t have sex with you.” He said, moving back to put as much distance between them as possible.

“And why not?” She asked gloatingly.

“Because I’m in love with Draco!” Pansy gasped in surprise and covered her mouth with her hands. Draco opened the door to the bathroom and stared at Harry. They had never said that about each other before. Well, Harry did once, but he took it back right after he said it, afraid the feeling wouldn’t be reciprocated. He didn’t care about that this time. Harry wanted everyone to know his love for Draco.

He saw Hermione and Ron open the front door as well. “Love him! That’s right! I love him! I love him!” He proclaimed, pointing from himself then to Draco each time he said it. Draco broke into a smiled, as did Harry. They walked towards each other, Harry grabbing him by the waist when they were close enough. “I love you, Draco.”

“I love you too, Harry.” He wrapped his arms around the shorter boy’s neck and kissed him slowly.

Everyone smiled as the two boys kissed each other. “I thought you guys were just doing it. I didn’t know you were in love.” Pansy said, smiling ear to ear for his best friend had finally found the love that he so desperately sought. Draco smiled at his friends and hugged Harry tightly.

“Dude.” Ron stated, directed the word toward Harry to indicate that he was happy that he had also found love. Harry grinned at him, then to the rest of the gang.

“And hats off the Pansy, quite the competitor.” Pansy thanked him as they shook hands. “And may I just say, you’re breasts are still showing.”

“Merlin.” She muttered and made to do up her buttons. Hermione rolled her eyes, waved her wand, and the buttons were done up once more.

Ron jumped up gleefully. “Alright. So that’s it! It’s over! Now everybody knows!”

“Well actually,” Draco spoke and Ron’s face fell with his hopes once more.” “My mother doesn’t and Salazar knows this’ll be in the Prophet once it get’s out.”

“And we’d appreciate it if no one said anything yet. At least until we’ve told Narcissa.” Ron glared at the both of them and stormed out of the room. No matter how happy his friends were, he was so angry that he still had to keep this secret.

Bonus:

“I am so happy you decided to show me around Hogwarts, Minerva. I’ve been wanted to revisit it for quite some ti- what?” Narcissa Malfoy stopped her sentence when a flash of platinum blonde hair caught her eye. She was looking out a window to the Quidditch pitch when she saw a messy hair boy pull her son closer. Assuming he was going to start a fight, Narcissa rushed out of the room to save her son. Before she left, she saw that they were not in fact fighting, they were snogging and the messy haired boy let his hands settle on his bum.

Narcissa was outraged. How dare he touch my son like that! She thought as she stormed out of the castle, leaving Minerva behind.

“Potter! Potter!” She yelled as she approached the pitch. Draco cast a protection spell around them so that his mother couldn’t come any further. “I saw what you were doing through the window! I saw what you were doing to my son!” She yelled, though it came through muffled from the charm.

Harry turned to Draco, panting and petrified. “Listen, we’ve had a good run. What was it, four- five months?” He began to back up. “That’s more than most people have in a lifetime, so bye, take care, bye bye dear.” He peck him on the lips before taking out his wand to attempt to break a spot on the ward so he could run for it. Draco was too fast. Of course. That beautiful bastard. He thought to himself.

“Expelliarmus!” The wand flew out of his hand and Draco caught it. “What are you doing?”

“Oh. I’m going on the lam.”

Come on, Harry. Come on.” He pulled his boyfriend by the arm so they were the closest to Narcissa as they could be without breaking the charm. “I can handle my mother.” The blonde signalled for his mother to move back and he removed the wards. As soon as he did, Narcissa started to chase Harry around the pitch. She was surprisingly fast. “What the hell are you doing!” She yelled after him. He hid behind Draco, who held out his arms to protect him.

Hermione, who had been sat at the other end of the field with Ron, came running up to them. “What’s going on? We heard screaming?” Ron came up, panting, seconds later.

“Well, I think… Mrs. Malfoy knows about me and Draco?” He told them. Even though he was on a first name basis with Narciss, he wouldn’t dare call her that while she looked this furious.

“Dude,” Ron looked scared and made a motion that meant “cut it out” “she’s right there.” Hermione, Harry, and Draco looked at Ron like they were about to lose their patience.

“I thought after I saved your life, you’d show my family some respect. This is my son. I cannot believe this!” She shrieked at Harry.

“Look, we’re not just messing around.” Harry suddenly found the courage to speak. “I love him, okay? I’m in love with him.”

Draco stepped forward a bit. “I’m so sorry that you had to find out this way, but it’s true. I love him too. We haven’t told anyone yet because we knew it’d be in the papers and we wanted to tell you ourselves.” He stepped back and allowed Harry to slink his arm around his waist while he put one around his shoulders.

Narcissa looked at them skeptically. Harry prepared himself to be yelled at again and but the feel of Draco’s rapid heartbeat, he did too. Everything went silent for a moment. Even the birds stopped chirping. Draco’s mother’s face softened and hugged them both. They simultaneously let out a breath. “I’m sorry. You guys probably want to get some hugs in too, huh?” She directed at Ron and Hermione when she pulled away. “Big news!” She sighed happily.

Hermione, smiling ear to ear, waved her off. “No, that’s okay. We’ve actually known for a while.”

Her face fell into a frown, which in turn made everyone else step back a bit. “Wha- what? You said you didn’t tell anyone!” She screeched at Draco.

“W- well, I didn’t mean them. They’re my friends! And I didn’t tell them they found out on their own.”

“I’m your mother.”

“I was worried about how you’d react.” He told her cautiously.

Her face softened again and she drew her son into another hug. “You were worried about me?” She turned back to Ron and Hermione and hugged them as well.

“Now, why don’t we get out of here and let these lovebirds get back down to business.” Ron said brightly when the hug broke. Narcissa’s face fell once more, striking fear into Ron’s heart. “H- hey, don’t look at me.” He pointed to Harry. “He’s the one doing your son.”

queenofthyme

Draco dying his hair light blue

Harry can’t stopstaring. His breakfast is forgotten. Malfoy’s hair is blue.

“Harry! Harry? Whatare you – “

“Malfoy.” Harryanswers Hermione without looking away.

Ron pauses midway through a mouth of potato.“What?”

“Malfoy,” Harryexplains again, “He – Look what he did.”

Hermione’s eyes remainfixed on Harry. “Don’t you think you need to stop obsessing over him? The waris over. We’re all on the same side.”

“No, look what he didto his hair!” Harry all but shouts. MALFOY’S HAIR IS BLUE.

Hermione and Ronfinally follow Harry’s gaze to the Slytherin table to Draco Malfoy, blue hairand all.

“Bloody hell.”

“That is surprising,”Hermione admits.

“Maybe someone cursedhim?” Ron suggests.

“I hope not,” Hermionefrowns. “Like he doesn’t have enough to deal with – his mother is being retriedthis week.”

Harry’s chestconstricts. “That’s this week?”

“Yes, Harry. I thoughtyou were the one stalking him?”

“Well he has beensadder than usual. He’s been eating cereal since last Friday which is odd as healmost always goes for – what?” Harry stops at the looks Hermione and Ron are giving him.

Hermione shakes herhead. “I was being facetious, Harry. I can’t believe you’re stalking himagain.”

“I’m not stalking,”Harry clarifies, focusing his attention solely on Hermione and Ron to prove hispoint. Which is difficult when MALFOY’S HAIR IS BLUE. “I’m just observant.”

Hermione smiles wickedlyand Harry already knows he’s stuffed before she opens her mouth. “Okay, thenwhat do I usually eat for breakfast?”

Harry tries to eye herplate discreetly but she already has her hand covering it. He desperately triesto remember what she’d been eating only seconds earlier. “Uh….uh…”

“That’s what Ithought.”

“I’m not stalkingMalfoy,” Harry tries again.

Ron sniggers into hismorning omelette. “Sure, mate.”

Hermione rests herhead in her hands (revealing her breakfast of poached eggs). “Why don’t you goover there and ask him?”

“Ask him what?”

Hermione closes hereyes in obvious exasperation. “Why hishair is blue.”

“I can’t – “

“Mate, just go,”Interrupts Ron, now with a mouthful of tomato. “You’re going to be like thisall day if you don’t.”

Malfoy looks up insurprise as Harry approaches, his cereal spoon hovering above his bowl. “Potter?”

“Malfoy.” Harry nods.He tries not to stare so openly at Malfoy’s hair but…it’s BLUE.

Malfoy drops his spoonand pushes the cereal away. He stares at Harry suspiciously. “Are you lost?”

“No, I – why is yourhair blue?” Harry blurts out, unable to hold it in any longer.

One of Malfoy’s handsautomatically jumps to his hair, as if he’d forgotten the colour for a moment.After the initial surprise, Malfoy’s turns defensive. “You got a problem withit?” He asks.

“No, not at all. It’sjust – never mind. Forget I asked.” What was he thinking? What were Hermioneand Ron thinking sending him over here? He turns to leave.

“it’s poetic, Potter.”

Harry turns back toMalfoy. “Poetic?”

Malfoy shrugs, andlooks down into his cereal bowl. “I’m feeling blue. I dyed my hair to match. Itmade sense last night after the second bottle of firewhiskey.”

Harry considers this. “Yourmother?” He asks, softly.

“Yes,” Malfoy saysinto his cereal.

“Do you – I mean,would you – would it help if I came with you?” Oh Merlin, did Harry really just saythat?

Malfoy looks up,sharply. “Why would you want to do that?”

Harry feels his cheeksreddening. “Your mother saved my life,” he offers, which is true at least, but only a small part of his real motivation.

“Of course,” Malfoysays with a polite nod. Is Harry reading into it or does he seem…disappointed?

“And you mightneed…support.”

A small smile plays onthe corner of Malfoy’s mouth. “I have friends, Potter.”

“Right, I didn’t meanto say – it’s just – I’d like to be there. For both of you.”

Malfoy tilts his headand looks Harry over with a curious gaze. This only makes Harry blush harder.

“Okay,” Malfoy finallysays, “You can come.” He picks up his spoon and returns his attention to hiscereal.

Harry can’t stopstaring. His breakfast is forgotten. Malfoy’s hair is green.

“Go ask him, already.”

Malfoy looks up. Thistime he doesn’t seem surprised. “Potter. What brings you here?”

“You know what.”

Malfoy smirks. “Enlightenme.”

Harry stares at Malfoy’shair. “Why green?”

Malfoy shrugs. “Justfelt like it.”

Harry frowns. Hewonders whether Malfoy’s being entirely truthful. “That’s not very poetic,” hepoints out.

“His eyes are as greenas a fresh pickled toad,” Malfoy whispers.

Harry blinks,processing. “What?”

“His hair is as darkas a blackboard. I wish he was mine, he’s really divine, the hero who conqueredthe Dark Lord,” Malfoy continues with a shy smile. “Poetic enough for you?”

Harry feels himselfblushing again.

“Maybe I should havegone pink to match your face,” Malfoy suggests with a wink. Merlin, Harry mightmelt.

“You remembered the po– “

“I wrote the poem,”corrects Malfoy.

Harry frowns “But Ialways thought Ginny – “

Malfoy shakes hishead. “Nope.”

“Does that mean you –that you used to – “

Malfoy interrupts witha roll of his eyes. “Like you?”

Harry gulps. “Yeah.”

“I thought that wasobvious, Potter.”

Harry feels like hisknees might buckle at any moment. This is really happening. He runs a handthrough his hair nervously. “And now?” he asks.

Malfoy raises his eyebrows, a playful smirk on his lips. “I thought thatwas also obvious, Harry.”

And just to be an infuriating bastard, Malfoy chooses this moment todust himself off and leave the Great Hall, with one last wink at Harry.

Harry wants to follow but he thinks his legs may have turned into jelly. Hehas to grip the table tightly just to keep himself standing.

Harry can’t stopstaring. Breakfast never stood a chance. Malfoy’s hair is pink.

He doesn’t even botherto take a seat at his own table, instead heading straight over to the Slytherinside of the Great Hall.

Malfoy watches him ashe approaches with a smug smile. “Pot – “

Harry interrupts by leaningdown and smashing his mouth onto Malfoy’s, his hands reaching out to finally runthrough that gorgeous hair. The entire Great Hall is watching and Harry’s face ison fire, but none of that matters, because Draco Malfoy is kissing him back.

And his hair is bloodypink.

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