The Dark Age of Paradise

Maybe it's too dangerous not knowing your own place...

[the-muppet-joker]

Hey gang for those of you waiting for my return just letting you know that running the muppet joker account has put a very real strain on my real life marriage and I have decided to step away from the blog for the foreseeable future.

I have been talking to her and everone else in my personal life "in character" as the muppet joker so that my blog would be as true to life as possible. I have been wearing Joker makeup around the house, which at first she found funny, but now she can't even look at me. I started compulsively fantasizing about the muppets and it's ruining our sex life. I accidentally called her Kermit in the bedroom and she made me sleep on the couch for a week.

Our son turned one year old this year on July 5th, on the day of Dashcon 2. My wife begged and pleaded with me to stay home and celebrate his birthday, but I was stupid and selfish and had become completely taken over by the muppet joker persona at that point. I went. I returned home to an ultimatum. Its my family, or it's the muppet joker. I chose my family.

Sorry tumblr. I have failed you. I have failed my wife. I have failed my son. I have to go now, to be with them, and to watch my child grow up.

Goodbye, Homosapiens

[jairus666]

[homunculus-argument]

A book with a first person narrator what describes everything with oddly specific clarifications and denials, coming completely unprompted.

"I poured myself a bowl of cereal that had no cockroaches in it."

"Her hair - which was real human hair, growing naturally from her own scalp - was brown."

"I walked to my car which I legally owned and whose rightful ownership had never been under question or dispute."

"Their dog was barking in a way that is entirely normal for a regular, full-blooded dog, and could not be mistaken for the vocalisations of a half-wolf, a jackal, or perhaps a hyena."

"My mother - who has never been convicted or imprisoned for manslaughter - emerged from the kitchen."

[reemerarius]

It Nap Time

She's moved the barrel into one of the empty rooms. I'm thinking of furnishing it just for her. What should I put in it? For reference, this is her breed chart.

For those new here, her name is Honey Bunches.

[reemerarius]

She Wants to Go Outside🥹

Honey Bunches has been settling in pretty well. She's gotten more curious around the house, as in she's willing to investigate things when I'm around and not in the middle of the night when I sleep.

Earlier today, I caught her staring out the window. At first, I thought a bird or something in the trees had caught her attention. But she slapped the wall. She's learned that, because she does not honk, she can clap or hit things to get my attention.

She pointed out the window. I didn't see anything of note. I took a picture (because cute baby) and figured I'd ask if she wanted to go out? I wasn't expecting much of a response. She still kinda keeps to herself.

It was faint... but! But she honked! My guess is she was so excited to go outside that she vocalized it. She truly is baby to die for.

I'll start posting more pictures of her playing outside next time!

[theclowncarer]

Aww! Make sure to keep here safe outside and encourage honking! If you don't mind me asking, what breed is she?

[reemerarius]

Tada! She mostly a sad clown-mime mix.

[reemerarius]

She Wants to Go Outside🥹

Honey Bunches has been settling in pretty well. She's gotten more curious around the house, as in she's willing to investigate things when I'm around and not in the middle of the night when I sleep.

Earlier today, I caught her staring out the window. At first, I thought a bird or something in the trees had caught her attention. But she slapped the wall. She's learned that, because she does not honk, she can clap or hit things to get my attention.

She pointed out the window. I didn't see anything of note. I took a picture (because cute baby) and figured I'd ask if she wanted to go out? I wasn't expecting much of a response. She still kinda keeps to herself.

It was faint... but! But she honked! My guess is she was so excited to go outside that she vocalized it. She truly is baby to die for.

I'll start posting more pictures of her playing outside next time!

[reemerarius]

Another low blow today. I’m really starting to think living is not for me. Like I feel like I’m coming up on the final straw. Two of the newest places I applied for turned me down at the start of the week.

Roommate is being petty and starting arguments over stupid shit.

And now the I have realized a folder with hundreds of files did not make the move to the new computer and by now would have been wiped. I’m hoping something might be on my old laptop, but fuck if I know.

I’m emotionally spent. I can’t even cry even though I want to.

This year has been shit. My life feels like it falling apart. I hate this. I just want to be happy.

[reemerarius]

Clown Ancestry

So, she has a clean bill of health. And the DNA test came back. She has everything I expected her to have, other than the Jester and the Rodeo. I have named her Honey Bunchies.

This does explain the silence. She hasn't made one peep since she's been here. I thought she was scared and uncomfortable. No, it's just the mime in her.

She got out of her box in the middle of the night and roamed the house, maybe the scare clown in her? I don't know if 12% is enough to show behaviors.

I know a guy. He gave me a barrel when I told him Honey Bunchies has a little rodeo in her. I placed it next to her box. Maybe something will happen.

She's been fussy since the checkup, so I haven't been bothering her too much. However, I will end on a cute/funny note. She will not eat just any bread.

One morning, she got into my cupboard and stole my croissants. In the process of her little heist, she knocked over my cereal. That's how she got her name. I wasn't really a big fan of that cereal anyway and it was just sitting there getting stale.

We'll see how things improve in the days to come.

[reemerarius]

I managed to get a pic. Kinda.

She hasn't come out of the box yet.

So, I called that breeder I was talking about. They denied they would ever abandon a clown. I had asked if they had a clown missing, not if they abandoned a clown, but okay.

They told me never to call again. So, I'm wondering if I should call, like an association, or something? Like that's sketch right?

Anyway, I guess she's mine now. I'll have to take her in for a checkup, hopefully, they can tell me what kind she is.

I don't have everything I need yet because, well, I was trying to take my time with adopting a clown. But, you can't make appointments with the clown distribution system.

If she comes out of the box, I'll try to get a better picture.

[reemerarius]

My First Clown?

Found her in a box on the way home. I'm wondering if she's been abandoned.

She just frowned while peeking out of her box and didn't honk. When I got closer she bared her teeth, they looked pretty sharp. But couldn't get myself to leave her there.

See, there's this breeder that just moved into the area who claims to specialize in sad clowns, mimes, and, I think, scare clowns? Given her appearance, she could be from that breeder.

I had some cotton candy on me from feeding the local strays at the park and gave her some to distract her. I managed to push the box all the way home.

I'm gonna let her settle in and try to get in touch with the breeder to see if she just ran away or something. I want to keep her. Hopefully, if she is from this breeder, she's up for adoption.

I'm still gonna try to get one for the local shelter. But like, she's melted my heart. If I'm able to keep her, I'll take pictures and show you guys.

[hartrathaway]

[reemerarius]

How do you make friends on tumblr? I need to get my mind off of the vile of the world

[reemerarius]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

[reemerarius]

Pertaining to Poetry and Witchcraft: Colors

Wrote a poetry book. With witches in mind. https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1511147

I hope someone likes it. I think I did real good.

[reemerarius]

I’m sad. Barely anyone wants to help reveal my model. It just feels like a bad omen. I’ve been at this for a while and just can’t seem to find my place in all this.

[reemerarius]

For those who don’t know (which I presume is none of you) I’m a vtuber. I’m not getting off to the best start however… if anyone would be willing to give some support it would be appreciated. Here’s my start screen that also functions as my teaser.

[the-clumsywitch]

Witchy Ebook Wednesdays

Book Collection Name: Mystic Archives by Multiple Authors

Price (for all 4): $3.96

Visit Amazon's Mystic Archives Page and shop for all Mystic Archives books. Check out pictures, author information, and reviews of Mystic Ar