am i unhinged or just hangry

20+ | f my lyf

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

MASTERLIST;

• the empty selections are an overlook on what and who i will write for in the future

• discontinued series are UNLISTED

last updated: 02/16/26

kpop (which i doubt would ever have other groups incl other than svt)

svt:

yjh

mon ange analogique

from the start

anime

NANA:

• ren honjo

she says, “babe, you look so cool.”

games/audio & visual novels:

tears of themis:

love & deepspace:

• rafayel

sickly blues

dad!rafayel parading his darling daughter

(ir)rational fear

• caleb

renege

***

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

(ir)rational fear 🐚

“that was how i met your mother!”

dad rafayel comedically fears your teen daughter getting stolen by some kid.

pairing: parents!rafamc (and their little girl!)

cw: CRACK a little angst but mostly crack, angst is only from rafayel's abandonment issues peeking through, sweet n tender domestic fatherly rafayel with a teen, domestic rafamc, (half of it is js me projecting bcs this was the household i was deprived of as a kid)

—

It was just a simple conversation between Rafayel and his beloved daughter on an idle morning.

A breezy morning.

It’s always nice having domestic time with your family like this on your day-offs. Rafayel was humming a tune while cooking shrimp truffle pasta, while your daughter Atlantis was sitting on the high chair of the counter-table in the kitchen reading her theatre scripts while waiting for her dad to finish cooking brunch. Papers were scattered across her side of the wide countertop while she was holding her pen with a fuzzy top, pre-occupied with annotating her scripts. Her cotton candy purple-hued hair was tied up in a low ponytail with her curtain bangs framing her face. 

When she was younger, you and Rafayel had a goal to make sure she feels comfortable enough within the household to do homeworks or tasks outside her bedroom at her own will—and you were successful. Now whenever Atlantis sees you and Rafayel busy with anything anywhere in the house she would get her learning materials and school supplies from her bedroom and be busy with you regularly like this. She likes hanging out with you two even at home. And you take pride in that as parents.

Time really does fly fast. One moment you and Rafayel are coddling her as a baby, the next she’s in high school—and now even a theatre actress! She grew taller, and her baby face is already maturing. Atlantis' overall charm is still Rafayel-esque, but with her attitude, teen flair and sophistication, she was starting to look more like you.

At the same time, you went out of you and Rafayel’s shared bedroom, having just woken up. Yours and Atlantis’ hair were tied up in the same updo, matching without trying to.

Atlantis had always looked like her father as a toddler. Even you acknowledged it. She's always been a mini-Rafayel more so when she looked androgynous because of her short hair with long fringes when she was a baby.

But as little Atlantis grows, it's like she's becoming another you. Now it seems that Rafayel has two you's. Not that he's complaining. If anything—he loves it. The two people he loves the most and matters the whole world to him have the same face.

“Morning, love.” you gracefully passed behind and kissed your daughter’s cheek while hugging her from the side. She closed her eye and smiled upon receiving the affectionate smooch near her eye from you. “Scripts for your next play?” you asked while gesturing at the papers on the countertop. Atlantis nods.

You went to kiss Rafayel too after, who still acts giddily upon kisses even after years of marriage.

“Oh right, dad, you didn't accompany me to my morning walk today.” Atlantis points out while you’re preoccupied with arranging other things in the kitchen.

“Sorry, little cutie. Duty calls,” Rafayel replies in front of the stove. “I promise to go with you next time, baby.”

“Nah, just do your thing, no big deal.” Her dismissal reminded Rafayel of you. “Anyway, I only brought it up because this morning I met a little boy my age.”

Rafayel’s hand, holding a wooden spoon, stops mid-air in the middle of stirring the pasta sauce. He turned sideways to Atlantis. “What? Where? What happened?”

Oh, dear. Here we go.

“He fell from a boat.”

Rafayel paused for a moment before asking the question, “Was he thrown off-board by his playmates?”

“Hm, I don't think so.”

Rafayel quietly sighed in relief. And then reached for a bowl to serve Atlantis truffle pasta.

“They weren't his friends, they were bullying him. He was tied up but he jumped off the boat himself! If I hadn't saved him, he would've drowned.”

Rafayel almost dropped the ceramic bowl he was holding. He looked horrified at her answer like she admitted to a crime. He was stuck frozen in that position for a few seconds.

“He said he lives nearby. Do you somehow happen know his parents? He only said his dad was a Fleet Colonel. Not that I know what that means. Is it like Colonel Sanders?”

Atlantis looked up from her scripts when she didn’t receive any audible response, only to find her dad’s shocked face, which confused her.

No, no, not this early, at least! Rafayel thinks.

“Earth to dad? What's wrong?” She also looked at you to see if you had the same reaction if ever she said something wrong to elicit the reaction. But you were only smiling—endeared or knowing—she wasn’t sure. Atlantis is used to Rafayel being the dramatic parent and you being the calmer one.

You looked at your husband and shook your head, still with the amused glint on your face. You let him dramatically express his distress. You know exactly why your daughter harboured such a reaction from her father.

“That was how I met your mother!” Rafayel crashed out completely in dramatic mortification.

From that day on, Rafayel's strict dad side awoke. He started accompanying Atlantis during her walks on the beach. Every single day, without missing. Thomas volunteered so he could focus on painting, but no. He wanted to shield her from boys himself.

It sounds funny, yes. Besides, he wouldn’t really try to stop her from drifting away out of his own selfishness. Never. 

Yet deep inside, Rafayel's fear was real and innate as her father.

Because his daughter being pursued by a boy would only mean she's closer to growing up and abandoning him someday.

***

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

in which dad!professor!rafayel brings his tweenager daughter, atlantis, to his uni lecture and proudly parades her.

“also, before i dismiss, i'd like to acknowledge our sit-in, my very own darling daughter, atlantis. the one that sticks out like purple cotton candy at the far back,” rafayel announces to the class to lightheartedly embarrass his daughter.

atlantis immediately whips upright in surprise of the special mention and glares at her dad all the way from the back of the lecture hall.

“go on, have a look at her beautiful face,” rafayel added like a silly goose.

the students inside the lecture hall eagerly turned their heads back to atlantis, some laughing in humour and in awe because of rafayel and his daughter's playful interaction.

atlantis covers her reddened face in embarrassment and dramatically slides down her seat, which elicits louder laughs from everyone.

***

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

rafayel: that’s my girlfriend, suckers!

mc: your wife, rafayel.

rafayel: my wife, and the mother of my child, even better!

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

rafayel the type to moan into your ear and murmur how much he wants to marry you just as he's about to cum inside you OH i'm losing it

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

rafayel, caleb, sylus as girldads core:

© melly.garcia22 on tiktok

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

that one scene in modern family, but it's rafayel, his wife, and their daughter

rafayel, screeching: I'M BREAKING THE WINDOW

mc, on the phone with an agent: we locked our baby in the car and people are judging us!

rafayel, still running around hysterically: I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA BREAK IT

mc, to rafayel: do not break the window you'll get glass on her!

agent: ma'am, please tell your wife to relax everything is going to be okay

mc: ...that's a man

agent: ...really?

rafayel, tapping on the car window: DON'T WORRY ATLANTIS! DADDY'S COMING TO SAVE YOU–ASKFJSHDKSKH

atlantis, rafayel's daughter, inside the car: 😐

***

rafayel, crashing out:

mc:

their daughter:

[suru-sketches]

in another universe they burned the car together and ran away

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

sickly blues 👩‍🍼

wherein rafayel had to begrudgingly fly overseas for a retrospective exhibition occurring somewhere away from home. he was occupied the whole day and only now he got ahold of his phone to message his beloved wife and check on his daughter, atlantis—who is going through a bad fever, crying out her dada's name and weeping out of longingness for him.

pairing: parents!rafamc (and their little girl!)

cw: none rly, js sweet n tender domestic fatherly rafayel with a toddler, rafayel's daughter calling him "ayel" i feel so sigma and aaaaaaaawww

—

rafayel: just finished giving a long ass speech onstage sorry for being inactive 

rafayel: how are my cutie n my sick little cutie darling daughter doing are you both ok 

rafayel: pls say yes im this 🤏🤏 close to jumping off the balcony and coming straight home

rafayel: to hell with thomas

rafayel: dun respond if youre resting or busy btw we can always talk later

mc: not resting or busy we’re doing fine. atlantis’ temp still hasn’t gone down from 38°C. pls don’t give thomas any more headaches, that poor guy

mc: and don't worry love, i’m beside her on the bed and i've prepared the car so i can take her to the hospital anytime if it gets worse. i've fed her her favourite foods too. but she keeps crying and calling out to you. hurts me to see our little antis like this

rafayel: oh no :(

rafayel: can i call

rafayel: i miss you both :(

mc: i’ve already put her to sleep only a while ago she got tired after crying for hours

mc: but you gotta see this

mc: [Video Attachment]

When Rafayel clicked play, his eyes immediately softened upon the sight of his daughter. The recording played a video showing her face softly weeping, little cheeks flushed, held by you on your lap. It appears that she had just finished crying from her quiet sniffles, reddened nose, and look of restlessness. Rafayel feels a sharp pang in his chest like his heartstrings are being tugged. 

His poor baby… If only he could take all her pain away even if it meant passing it to himself tenfold.

As the scene in the video unfolds, his daughter clings to her mama and sniffles, rubbing her eyes with her small hands. Your hand can be seen in the video removing Atlantis’ small hands from rubbing her eyes and brushing her short purple hair strands off her face before wiping her tears with your palm.

Atlantis’ lips quivered as she needily mewled in the video, “Dada…”

“Dada will be away for some time, Atlantis.” It was your firm voice. 

“Want Dada…....Ayel…....” She rubs her eyes again, still sniffling. “Ayel” was her own way of saying “Rafayel” since she still cannot pronounce all three syllables of her dad’s name yet. Rafayel almost teared up on how his daughter's longingness can be heard from her wobbly voice. He doesn’t want to think about how much pain his baby is going through.

“Ayel.....…Ayel........” Her small hands can be seen on camera tugging on your shirt, begging for her dad. Each utterance of "Ayel" sounded progressively sadder. Rafayel’s heart broke completely. He knows how children tend to seek comfort from their parents during a fever, especially when they feel pain.

You gently caressed her head and kissed her hot forehead to soothe her, as seen in the video. “Dada will be back very soon, love.” 

“Mum…” Your daughter curls up and hugs your chest mellowly as you rock her to sleep and whisper sweet nothings to her ear, the toddler’s yearning for her dad still not satisfied.

When the recording ended, Rafayel’s lips quivered and his chest tightened as he traced his daughter’s face through the screen with his finger tenderly and longingly. How desperate he is to hold her in his arms and coo at her softly to ease the pain and comfort her.

mc: i had to give her one of your clean shirts that had your cologne on them so she could smell your scent. she hugged and held onto it until she dozed off only then she could sleep

Your revelation caused Rafayel’s heart to clench tighter. His homesickness caught up to him too. Badly.

rafayel: in tears rn my poor baby im coming home as soon as possible curse this n everyone i mean it

rafayel: take care of yourself too ok cutie dun starve yourself rest and sleep properly hold on just for a little longer and ill be there with you and our lil cutie

rafayel: ill call later when shes awake i love you please tell her im omw home and dada loves her too ill be by her side 24/7 when i come back i promise

rafayel: hope she feels better soon

mc: sure message me when you're free. i love you come home safely

Rafayel truly did not give a fuck if he had to pay triple the standard travel fee to rush back home to his wife and daughter. Thomas—who was also concerned about his client's daughter, and as a father himself—didn't stop Rafayel from running off anymore when he found out he wants to go back right away because of Atlantis' fever. The overseas exhibition that required him to stay for another day be damned, he could not withstand another day anymore knowing back at home his wife is restless and his daughter is crying out for him and in pain without his presence. Even so, he didn't forget to gather a few souvenirs for the both of you.

***

whoever disagrees that rafa deserves a married + family life w us lk this after everything he's gone through is not safe around me thank you

© reesespeanutbutterfuck 2025, don't forget to support your creators by reblogging !

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

so i have a hc that rafayel's baby daughter calls him "ayel" affectionately FUCKHSJFKGFJDK SO CUTEEE

someone asks her, "what's the name of your dada?"

rafayel's little cutie smiles like she's been waiting for that question all her life and looks up to them with shiny hetero-hued starlight irises, just like her dad's.

"ayel!"

AAAAAHHHH

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

renege caleb x reader

promises are just... always meant to be broken.

pairing: caleb x GN!reader

cw: angsty, short fic, miscommunication, mentions of light injuries

—

The sound of crickets are all that could be heard in the neighborhood as you limped your way home. You don’t usually come home this late at night. It’s just because you fully intended to avoid Caleb at all costs. Every time, after your mission ends, let’s just say, sometimes when luck is on your side you end up unscathed, other times—well, more often than not, you don’t.

Today was just one of those unlucky days. And even more so that it completely went past your head that it was the first day of Caleb’s offset and you were more than certain he was home. It took a lot of effort just to stand and walk still. Looking at yourself in a puddle, you were reminded of the fact that you looked like shit right now. Like a ragdoll that got tossed around. Those wanderers really did you dirty.

You did everything you could do to pass the time and make sure Caleb is asleep and you won’t run into him looking like this. You stayed at the headquarters hours overtime and sat on a convenience store bench to stare at nothing. When you opened the door to the house, being as quiet as possible, you looked around first to see if the coast was clear. You almost heave a sigh of relief seeing that the lights are dim and grandma or Caleb were nowhere to be seen. 

“You were out late, pipsqueak. Finally you remembered you have a home.”

Almost.

Caleb's tall figure emerges from the kitchen door. Your shoulders hunched up upon hearing the seriousness in his voice. Shoot. You cursed yourself in your head. You composed yourself and did your best to stand up straight.

“Why are you still up? Aren't you tired from travelling all the way here from Skyhaven?”

“I just finished washing the dishes. Gran was worried sick about you all night. If i hadn’t put her to sleep she’d be up waiting for you ‘til sunrise.”

Guilt rushed in your veins. He closed the distance between the two of you and you almost flinched when he stood there right in front of you. You averted your eyes and tried your best to act normal. You were thankful at least that the main lights were out and only the dim lit ones were on. You pray he doesn’t see your wounds and bruises all over.

You cleared your throat, not minding your aching limbs. “I just went drinking with friends after work. It’s been a long day and I’m really tired.”

“Really…” He lifts your chin with the side of his finger. “Do you always come home with a busted lip when you drink with your friends? 'Cause if you do, I might have a little chat with them.”

“I… How did you see…?” You cover the corner of your wounded lip with your hand. Does he have night vision?

“20/20 vision is required in the field of aviation.” he motioned you to sit on the sofa. You would’ve protested if your legs didn’t feel like it was about to give out any time.

You sat yourself down on the sofa. You hear Caleb fumble something from the cabinets before he follows and sits beside you. He pried your face towards him while holding your chin and looked closely at the wound at the corner of your lip, his expression hardened as he examined your face.

You tried to read his mind, but the thoughts behind his eyes were far too difficult to decipher. He started cleaning the wound with a gauze pad and putting antiseptic ointment from the first aid kit.

Still avoiding eye contact, your voice shook while trying to find the words to say. When you opened your mouth, that's when everything went off like a word vomit. 

“Caleb, i’m sorry for worrying you. I can take care of myself. I’ve been a really heavy burden to you and I know you’re already tired enough as it is. I really, really don’t want to cause you any more problems.” you uncomfortably shifted, removed his hand on your cheek and turned your head away from him. “Believe me, I tried so hard to get off work without a scratch. But I’m also really not in the mood for nagging right now. You can tell me off as much as you want tomorrow morning, just not ton–” 

You were cut off when your he silently cradled your cheek with a gentle touch and made you look at him. Your mouth gaped when you saw how somber his expression looked, the shine of his eyes reflecting the dim lights that illuminated the living room. 

“Do you really feel that way?” Caleb’s voice cracked.  “You’ve never been a burden, nor will you ever be,” his sapphire eyes looked apologetic as he reassured you.  “I’m sorry about the nagging. I didn’t mean to. I just... hate to see you in this state. I would never want you to feel like you’re always being scrutinized. I know you’re doing your best and you’re exhausted. You shouldn't feel guilty about something you don’t have any control on, and I’m very sorry for making you feel that way.” He brushes his thumb comfortingly on your cheek.

“I…” you paused, not knowing what to say. You held his hand on your cheek. Your lips quivered before you finally went for it and hugged his torso. Your arms wrapped under his arms and around him, the side of your face pressed up against his chest, inhaling his cologne. It felt like a sanctuary to be in his arms.

Caleb looked down at you, immediately reciprocating the affection, wrapping his arms around you too.

“Hmm? What is this?” he caressed your hair.

“I’m just lucky to have you.”

“What, because I’m the only one you can talk to because you have no friends?” he jokes.

You looked up at him. “You’re the only one.”

The way you said those words caught him off guard yet he quickly pulled it together. “Yeah, yeah enough with the flattery,” he dismisses but he doesn’t mean it, wrapping his arms tighter around you and comfortably resting his chin atop your head. “There, there. I’m sorry for making you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells. I know well that you can't control the nature of your work. It was insensitive of me. If there’s someone I want to be, I want to be someone whom you can trust.”

You’d trust him with your life, anytime, anywhere.

You melted in his arms. You felt secured for the first time in forever you didn’t think you’d end up in your childhood friend’s arms tonight. You missed him so much. You wish he would just stay here with you and grandma.

You were completely oblivious to the fact that Caleb was just as head over heels to see you even back at Skyhaven that he stayed awake tonight because he can’t wait to see your face. There's not a single day he didn't yearn for you while he was away. Of course it pained him to see you hurt tonight.

“Promise me you’ll try not to get hurt as often.” Caleb’s large hands rubbed your back.

“Sure, in one condition.” You withdrew from the hug and faced him, feigning a serious face.

He chuckles, “You haven’t changed at all, pipsqueak. What would that be? Don’t worry about the chores and cooking. You can count me on that. Focus on recovering.” He gestured to the bruises on your body.

“No, not that.” You broke your composure for a second before returning to your dead serious face. “Promise me you won’t abandon me, ever. I want to see you everyday when I come home. I’d crumble if you vanished suddenly without a trace. I’ll bite you if you leave me.”

Caleb paused.

He pulls it together before smiling warmly. “...Okay. I promise I’ll never leave you, you can never get rid of me, anyway.”

He ruffled your hair and lifted his pinky to further swear. You stared at his pinky and immediately got the cue. You locked your pinky with his as a pinky promise.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

You held onto his word with every fibre of your being.

You shouldn’t have.

***

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

caleb somewhere during nightly rendezvous

...bro was clutching his apple juice HARD

p.s i 4got to draw tears

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

(im)perfectionist

vinny hong x jo!reader

jay jo's imperfectionist sister meets the flawful vinny hong.

part 10

part 9 | part 11

pairing: vinny hong x jo!reader

cw: fem!reader, jo!reader, second person's pov (you, you're, your) rAgh get ready this part is just the beginning

—

On the way to Vinny’s house, you stopped by a convenience store that didn’t have that many people compared to the ones in the middle of the city. The last thing you’d want is to attract unwanted attention, and worse case scenario, to be spotted by someone your parents know and be reported looking like this and with a male.

Your stomach was begging to be filled. So with a single “hey, can I eat at your house?” to Vinny, he agreed—well sort of—and told you to grab something. If you weren’t being considerate you wouldn’t have had asked for permission, but it’s his house and you have to be respectful.

You both went to the convenience store but he said he’ll just wait for you outside. You grabbed convenience store food for the both of you. You didn’t bother to ask if he was hungry, you bought him food as an initiative. After you paid at the counter, you went out through the glass door of the convenience store and found Vinny outside. 

Taking a good look at his face clearly with the help of the light from inside the convenience store, now you can see some of the bruises that weren’t noticeable a while ago because the evening sky was already dark, started showing in hues of purple-blue. You know those hurt, but he’s either numb or good at hiding pain.

Just like you. 

“Ice?” Vinny asked after he examined the bag you were carrying when you got out of the convenience store. The ice was in a transparent plastic bag while the food was in a translucent one so he didn’t see you bought two sets of them.

“It’s for your bruised face.”

He didn’t reply. 

Why do you care? 

He started walking forward with you following behind, trusting him to lead you to his home. You don’t know why you trust him this much either, maybe it’s because he has shown you a lot of proof that regardless of his grumpy attitude, he’s harmless. You have trust issues, but somehow you don’t sense any ulterior motive when it comes to Vinny, even if your first impression of him wasn’t all that.

Vinny stopped walking in front of a gate down a small neighborhood. You immediately get the hint that you’ve arrived at his house. Vinny held the keys to the gate, he was about to open it, but at the last moment, he hesitated. He thinks about the fact that you’re wealthy and his house isn’t really pleasant to be in for someone standing in a social class like that such as you. He’s insecure of his status, and he’s ashamed of you seeing the proof of it. He contemplates whether he’s making the right decision. There’s a big part of him that wants to back out and decide otherwise.

But then when he looked over his shoulder to you, there was no sign of discomfort nor displease. Nothing but your normal face, patiently waiting for him to open the gate. He snapped out of his thoughts and wordlessly continued to open it. The priority here is treating your wounds and not anything else.

When you stepped inside his home, there were a few scattered things, although it wasn’t messy. It’s warm and it’s home. You scanned the interior as Vinny searched for the first aid kit his mother had, avoiding to see your expression, because if you were disgusted by his house, he’d rather not see it, honestly. But you weren’t. Not in the slightest.

While scanning his home, your eyes caught a glimpse of a wooden framed picture. It’s Vinny when he was a kid, and an older woman behind him holding his shoulders, who you reckon is his mother. There was another person but it looked like the picture was cut and the person was cropped off the frame. His dad? You shrugged it off and stared at the picture intently, specifically at the young Vinny. He has the same fiery hair and hetero-hued eyes. His unique facial features are natural, after all. 

Quite a lively looking kid, he was. 

He’s cute.

Meanwhile when Vinny found the kit, that was the first time he laid eyes on your face ever since you got inside his house, although only one side of your face was available in his view, he could see your small smile while looking at the framed picture. He halted his steps while holding the box.

You envied how he looks with his mother. In the portrait, he looked happy regardless of his knocked off front tooth. His mother was, too. How you wish you could experience that. You cannot recall a Jo family picture where your smiles are of genuine happiness. You shook your head and diverted your attention to Vinny, the grown-up one, who was now carrying a box, the first aid kit.

“You’re quite cute when you were younger. I wish you hadn’t grown up.” You commented and sat yourself at the floor, opening the plastic bag of convenience store food. Vinny’s mouth set in a hard line. “Can I have that picture?” you pointed at the framed picture.

“No,” was his immediate reply. He sat down with you while still keeping distance, which you didn’t mind, and avoided your eyes. 

“Fine.” You glared at him. “Eat while you deal with your cuts.” You gestured to his food. 

Vinny eyed at the instant ramyeon and self heating rice. “It’s you who should eat, not me. I didn’t tell you to buy food for me, I’m not hungry.”

“You are now.” You faced the mirror on his wall behind where you were sitting while holding your glasses and disregarded him. “I’ve missed you.” 

Vinny accidentally broke his avoidant eye streak to look at you, because for a second there he thought you were talking to him. You held your glasses like it was a beloved living thing before discarding Jay’s spare one that you borrowed and putting it inside the protective case, and wearing yours. 

“Go on, eat,” you told him while still looking at yourself in the mirror. You also pointed at the ice to gesture to him to ice his bruises.

Eventually, after contemplating, he took one bite and then got the gauze pads and betadine bottle himself to treat his cuts. You observed him, he sucks a sharp breath and hisses whenever he presses the gauze pad on his cuts. He’s having trouble with it, because he’s pressing his hand on his own wounds too hard. You sighed.

“Give it here.” You got the gauze pad from his hand and threw it. “You’re too rough with your own skin.” Then, you got a pint sized cotton ball and dampened it with betadine solution.

You pressed lightly under his eye. Vinny thought it’d hurt still, but when you were the one doing it, it didn’t. When Vinny registered the close proximity between the two of you, he looked away immediately. While you were focused on treating his wounds and completely oblivious, rather casual, to even consider just how close your face was to his right now.

Vinny opened his mouth while still avoiding looking at you directly. “You do have a sort of calling to always patch people up. I can do it myself. Stop doing things for me.”

Not even Sung—that little fucker—has touched his face in any context, yet here you are.

“I just don’t want to see you in the emergency room when you get an infection because you treat your injuries poorly.” You looked up at his eyes for a second and continued with the scratches on his cheek. “Besides, the reason I asked if you have a first aid kit is because I want to know if you have tools to patch yourself up. You’re the one who wanted me in your house.”

Vinny’s mouth slightly hung open in disbelief. “Because I thought you wanted to patch yourself up before you go home!”

“Whatever,” you dismissively uttered. 

His hunch while waiting for you outside the convenience store—strengthened by the ice—was right.

Both of you are here right now because you thought about each other’s injuries.

He thought of the conversation he had with Sung just a few days ago. “How is your stab wound, by the way?”

Your fingers halted as you were taken aback by his question. 

“It’s… fine, I mean, not fully, but the wound's closed. Although even if it’s already semi-healed, it sometimes stings when the weather’s cold.”

When you attended to his busted lip, he had the chance to finally look at you without you noticing because your eyes were fixated on the corner of his lip and you wouldn’t notice if he stares at your face. His eyes perceived your appearance in this closer look he was getting. Greyish feline eyes, long lashes, flowy dark hair. 

He thinks you look like somebody he currently knows, but he can’t point a finger who. 

“Done.” You finished securing the gauze with surgical tape. “You still gotta ice those bruises, though.” You sanitize your hand and pick up your chopsticks to go back to eating your ramyeon. “Don’t touch your wounds, wash your hands first. the E.R.'s cramped enough,” you reminded him.

Vinny groaned at your nagging as you continued eating. He stared at you as you spilled five whole ketchup packets on your corndog. Okay, that’s a lot, you clearly love ketchup, he can see that.

“Do they pay you in that hospital?” He asked while paying close watch to your weird eating habit.

“No, there’s no place for a high school student there. I’m just there because my mother wanted me to familiarize myself with medical procedures before I go to college. But then I became divergent from her sponsor and—” you stopped when you realized something. “The hospital training… Oh no, oh no, no. What is she going to say?” 

You anxiously sat and covered your mouth as you thought how you hadn't attended hospital training for weeks. 

“She’s going to kill me,” you mumbled, still anxious.

Beside you, Vinny looked puzzled. “Who?”

“My mom.”

“Oh.”

Vinny tried to read your facial expression yet he couldn't. Your mother must really be a problem. The fact that you were seriously willing to be stitched up by him, rather than go to a hospital where your mother would see you, already says a whole lot. Plus, the fact that you would have rather bled to death if he didn't come to your side, not because no one brought you to a hospital, but because no one convinced you to.

“Well, I gotta go home now.” 

You put all your trash in one plastic bag to toss outside on your way and stood up to stretch your back. You keep surprising him. You’re not even scared of walking in the dark. While cracking your spine, you lagged when you caught his eyes staring at you like you were an alien.

“What?”

He shook his head in disbelief. But then he also stood up and pulled his jacket off the rack. “Let’s go.” And then he left first. 

It took you a moment to realize what he was trying to do. You let him do it because you gotta admit, talking to him amuses you—unexpectedly. And teasing him? It feels good.

“Wait a minute, you’re going to walk me home now? That’s really something.” He ignored you. “Hey, I’m not done talking to you, Vinny.”

“You got stabbed a week ago. You got into a fight tonight. And don’t call it ‘walking you home’—it sounds weird.” He grimaced. “I’m not doing this because I want to keep you from harm. I’m doing this to accompany you while you deal with it.”

“Okay, whatever you say,” you said, obviously unconvinced. “What about your part time job?”

“It’s already late. I can’t come in now or I’ll be nagged.” Just thinking about how the lady manager’s going to beat his ass and nag him for skipping a shift already hurts his ears.

You grinned. “What difference would it make if I got mobbed or if we get mobbed together? Do you think you’d make a difference? What confidence you have.”

Vinny flashed a sinister smirk. “Then at least they’d suffer more by fighting the both of us.” 

You stopped your tracks. If you think about it, apparently Vinny has this subtle… protective instinct. You don’t know if he’s like this to anyone else. Just like when he could’ve left while you were sleeping after you were taken to the hospital, but he stayed true to his words and waited for you to wake up before leaving. Another instance was earlier when he put himself in front of you to shield you from your attackers. And now, this.

He looked back at you with his heavy-lidded eyes that always made him look arrogant. “Well? Lead the way, grumpy.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why? You have unpredictable mood swings, and unresolved anger issues. It suits you.”

Childish he is, comparing you to one of Snow White’s seven dwarfs. He’s learning to make childish clapbacks. 

You threw an empty plastic bottle at him, which he swiftly dodged. Fooey. “You talk as if you’re not like that.”

“At least I don’t abruptly switch between being non-verbal and angry.”

You bit your lower lip in annoyance as you restrained yourself from how badly you wanted to smack the back of his head. He should be thankful, you were considerate enough not to, given his injuries.

“I told you we should’ve gone for the shortcut. It's your fault. Who are those guys, anyway?” Not bringing up how those guys knew you, too. From your past.

“Guys I once fought with.”

“Thanks anyway for letting me in your house—without me initiating it.” you said, highlighting the last phrase to make a point. “You’ve done a lot of favors for me. What do you want as a reward? Don’t ask for a girlfriend, I don’t have anyone to string you with.”

He looked straight ahead and breathed. “The charm is enough.”

“Charm? What—oh. That.” You realized what he was talking about. The cat charm. “Cute isn’t it? Looks like you. I didn’t know you liked it that much.” 

Vinny clicked his tongue. 

“That’s just a trinket, not a reward. You know, like, a promise of ‘I'll-see-you-again-soon-and-I’ll-give-you-something-better.’”

Vinny furrowed his brows, “Why do you think every favor done for you obligates you to give something back in return?”

“Well, that’s how I was raised.”

“Were you raised in chaos too and it became the reason you can fight?”

“I only fight people when I need to defend myself.” You kicked a small rock out of the way. “I once initiated a fight with a male classmate but that was three or four years ago, because he was extremely sexist. 'Kept making comments about what I do.”

The anecdote piqued Vinny’s curiosity of what happened next. “What happened after?”

“Oh, he dropped, transferred to another school, and got home-schooled,” you continued the story nonchalantly.

A moment of silence.

“What did you do?” Vinny looked at you suspiciously.

“What?”

He expectantly waited.

After seconds of a staredown, you were the first one to cave in. “...I accidentally broke four of his ribs,” your voice gradually grew smaller with every word.

Vinny’s expression went like he just heard a crime confession. He knows he's deemed a savage. But you? you’re also something. Part of him wants to grin because of how normally you told a story of something unhinged.

“Serves him right,” he quipped. That sexist jerk deserved more than just getting his ribs pounded, he thought.

“So, take my offer. Let’s fight each other next time.”

Vinny groaned, “Is this still about Jay? I didn't even know him yet at that time.”

“He got impeached from being Student Body President and got a suspension. Because of that, the workload I have as the Vice doubled because of you, just so you know. I’ll only let it slide now because my body is sore, but I’ll get you back for that.”

You really held a grudge at him for that. For both you and Jay.

“I can walk and take care of myself from here, thanks.” You faced him when you reached the corner to your apartment.

Vinny stopped his steps to look at you. 

“Someone might see you and… tell my mom,” you voiced out before he had the chance to ask.

He opened his mouth to say something, but immediately closed it again. Another time. He didn’t say another word before turning back to walk in the opposite direction to find his way home.

The corner of your lips rose. “Hey, Vinny!” you shouted while his back was facing you at a distance.

His head panned back to you.

“Thanks! I’ll give you back the favor somehow!” you followed while waving your hand. “Let’s fight next time! I’ll use you to wipe the floor!”

He rolled his eyes and turned his back again to continue walking. Your mischievous grin impossible to wipe off.

Out of your sight, Vinny kept his genuine amused smile—often mistaken for a maniacal grin—to himself.

***

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

ELLO LUV!

Quick question, when will imperfectionist pt 10 come out, no rush take your time, just wanted to know so i know when to pop back on tumblr

ALSO, I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUR WORK, LIKE YOU ATE SO HARD YOU LEFT NO CRUMBS FOR ANYONE <3

HI LUV U R V MUCH APPRECIATED

univ has been kicking my ass as usual so i can't promise an exact date. but rest assured as soon as this semester is over (or even before) i will update !!!! x

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

“to suki, my first friend.”

<3<3<3<3

***

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

“don't worry, i'll take jack back eventually, vinny.”

“...if you really want jack back, call [y/n]. tell her to come back.”

“what?“

“wasn't it her who entrusted him to me? only she should be the one to take him back.”

***

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

she says, “babe, you look so cool.”

(ren honjo x reader)

told tales about your confusing relationship with the trapnest's notorious calm demeanoured lead guitarist, ren honjo.

content warnings: mentions of sex (not detailed), allusions to sex, unhealthy relationship, codependency, black stones vocalist!reader, pregnancy, having children, vague bisexuality implications (hachi and reader), mention of reader having a panic attack, mention of ren’s substance abuse, smoking, reader with avoidant attachment style, ren with abandonment issues, mutual obsessiveness, mutual possessiveness, toxic relationship, miscommunication, takumi is an asshole as always, spoilers for NANA

robbers - the 1975, habits (stay high) - tove lo, bonnie & clyde - DEAN, creep - radiohead, the reason - hoobastank

—

you cannot explain your relationship with ren honjo.

you'd say it's... anything but ordinary.

you don't understand him either.

you had told him early on that there's no room for label in your relationship.

and yet even before he left for tokyo, he doesn’t toss you away after you have sex. like how he should.

you’d often wake up in the morning wearing one of his button ups or jackets that smell just like his musky cologne and seven stars cigarettes.

he always remembers to clothe you so you don’t catch a cold.

even then, ren buys you a lot of gifts and lacy lingeries. when he notices your eyes linger longer on a vivienne westwood necklace, the next day, it’s yours. he once gave you a cryptic necklace that spells venus. he worships you like a goddess, hence, he sees you as the very goddess of love, beauty and sex herself, goddess venus.

you're his venus.

every time you catch him smoking, you steal the cigarette from his mouth and put it on yours. he steals it back and wordlessly stubs it under his heel. he's always been like that. he stubs out his cigarettes whenever you’re with him so you don’t inhale the smoke, even if you smoke too. always tells you, "it's bad for your health" and yet he smoked first.

in amidst of the chilling dawn, you wonder, why isn’t he dating anyone and seeing some other woman that doesn’t always run away from your feelings like you do?

you tell ren to fool around with other girls and enjoy his youth.

he still doesn’t, anyway. 

he stays over at your house in the weekends and when he has to leave early he leaves you something to eat. with a note reminding you of the things he remembered in your schedule today that you told him the night before.

he cares about your well-being more than you do.

why?

why does he care so much?

everytime you have sex, your primary feeling, or so you think is always nothing but lust. desire. 

but ren… ren’s is love. 

why is he filled with this much love for you? why doesn’t he give up on you?

ren is always one call away.

remember that one night when you were having a panic attack and was breaking down? with one dial on his number, he picks up. after hearing one muffled sob from your line, because you couldn't form even a single word from weeping, he's dashing towards his car in the middle of a heavy rain with nothing but a shoulder for you to cry on.

you hate how he laughs it off whenever you insult him to stave him away from you. you don't really want to push him away, but your avoidant nature leads you to. he knows you don't mean it.

even when you saw him again after he moved to tokyo, his eyes always had a way of finding you amidst the crowd.

that night after trapnest's concert, he found you backstage. everything was a blur after. you shouldn't even be here because seeing trapnest's ren honjo with black stones' vocalist would make a lot of headlines and destroy his image, yet ren doesn't care.

why is he ready to risk everything just to keep you around?

everything happened quickly. how he pulled you to the side away where no one hears or sees, how you ended up in his house, how he hugged you for the first time after years.

“i lo–” you cover his mouth.

“don't. don't say anything.”

he removed your hand from his mouth. “i love you.”

“i said don’t!”

“i get high just to keep my mind off you. i tried to drown it, but i always end up reminded that no drug can suppress the intensity of what i feel for you. you’re only one i want and desire. i love you. i’ve always had–” you cut him off with a kiss.

and then it so happens that one kiss turns into a passionate one, and leads to another, and another.

it was hard to stop.

he was addictive.

maybe the fact that he acts up on the way he wants you, added to the passionate warmth he ignites inside you. something no one has ever made you feel because everyday the universe reminds you you were always unwanted and that's all you'll ever be.

the following morning, you hear a soft moan from his lips while you were sitting on the corner of his bed and buttoning your clothes that were discarded on the floor last night, careful not to wake him up. when you were about to stand up, you felt ren’s hand tugging yours. he didn't say anything, he just held your hand.

“i'm sorry, did i wake you up?”

“stay…” there was something somber in ren's eyes.

“you know i can’t.”

so he lets go of your hand with a forlorn smile.

he expected it, and he understands. yet somehow, he still hopes… he hopes you would.

from there, everytime you leave in the morning after a long night of multiple rounds of sex, he hugs the sheets smittenly to pretend like you were still there. it still smells like you.

yasu and the others eventually found out you and ren were seeing each other like that again. yasu knows way more than he shows. you know he does. he always knew about ren's strong regard for you. you didn't. because you pretended not to.

which is why you were shocked when nobu's tongue slips and accidentally blathers, “ren wanted you for so long. it’s crazy. all these years and yet still you’re the only one he wants and ever wanted. did you cast a love spell on him or something?”

you think about what nobu said a million times everyday.

so much that you wish you hadn't heard it.

you once stayed in ren's unit the morning after for the first time while he went out to buy groceries and you answered the door on takumi while wearing one of ren’s white shirts and boxers. you called ren's phone to let him know his bandmate’s here. ren told you to stay there and he’ll be coming home as fast as he can. he knows you and takumi do not get along.

takumi sat across you on ren’s couch. “so, what's your relationship with him?” came his condescending question. you can tell he was looking down on you.

what, indeed?

“what's it to you?” you answered with the same monotonous tone.

the truth is, you don't have any idea either.

ren calls you his girlfriend—at times whenever you're not around otherwise you'll tell him to stop calling you that—but he's never heard you call him your boyfriend. he doesn't mind, though. months continued on with you and ren in that labelless set-up. he's still the same calm yet goofy ren you knew.

he still remembers every single thing about you. your scent, your favourite food, music, everything.

then ren came with the question you're most afraid of hearing.

“what… are we?”

ren batted an eye up at you while he was hugging your torso and sitting on the bed while you were straddling his lap.

you searched yourself for an answer.

ren took the long silence and your visible uneasiness as the same answer he got from you over the years.

“i’m always up to take this in the long run. but it’s okay if you don’t want to.” as long as you're here, with him. he buried his face on your chest and you two forgot about it.

maybe takumi was right, you’re just using ren.

and ren's okay with that.

this is so wrong.

how could he be that cruel to himself?

ren still reminds you to eat. some habits die hard, no?

whenever he eats with you, he even sanitizes your hands for you, with his own hands rubbing yours to spread the sanitizer.

“stop coddling.” you snatch your hand away from him.

ren chuckles, “okay, sorry.”

he keeps an eye on you in band practices. you threaten him that if he doesn't stop distracting himself with your presence, you'll leave. he obliges, but he won’t hesitate to step in if some creep bothers you.

he's possessive of you even if he doesn't show it openly.

but you're somehow possessive of him too.

when you saw a girl touching his shoulders, you wanted to chop her hand off.

“i’ve been deprived of everything my whole life. now, even my ren?” ren overhears you talking to yourself. your ren, huh?

“i’m sorry, ren.” you pecked a kiss on his lips after you told him to screw off and date other girls after you got jealous. “will you forgive me?”

he pulls you into a hug, “it’s okay, i forgive you.” he kisses your cheek. “i never said i don’t love you anymore.” he kisses the side of your neck. “why are you giving me away, anyway? if you’re jealous, be jealous. next time, tell me and i’ll do something about it to ease your mind. just don’t give me away like that again.” he kisses the side of your head.

such big words for someone who is afraid of communication himself, thought ren.

he’s subtly affectionate to you in public places like when he lays his head on your lap in standby backstage. one of the members of the management asked nobu if you’re dating, to which nobu answered “it’s complicated,” and then refused to elaborate.

you always turn him down whenever he asks you to stay, but once, when you were the one that asked him to, he said, “i could never refuse you.” while patting your head and hugging you after when you asked him to stay the night.

when you woke up first, you brushed his hair up and planted a kiss on his forehead.

“i love you, ren.”

four words you can’t say. 

rather, words you’re afraid to say.

ren was always very open with the idea of having a kid with you. but he wouldn’t force you to.

why would he want a future with you?

takumi dislikes you, obviously. you couldn't care less about him, anyway. you hate him with the same passion. he tried to knock sense on ren one time. it didn't go as he planned.

“i see your woman’s quite a catch.” takumi puffs his cigarette.

“of course,” ren replied.

“but she's quite like a closeted harlot.”

he's wrong. you never had anyone else after ren.

ren's ears tingled and his eyes darkened upon hearing what his band mate said. “are you insulting her?”

“don’t get me wrong. the way i see it, she doesn’t seem emotionally involved with you. it seems to me that you’re the only one who is in your relationship, whatever you two are. if i know, i’d say she only wants sex and not love. you’re okay with that?” takumi chuckles mockingly.

ren raises his head. “so be it. i couldn’t care less.” if that’s what it takes to keep you around him.

“i’m just warning you, dude.” takumi raises both his hands in a defensive manner. “you of all men should know that women like that, they belong to the streets—”

ren, for once lost his calm demeanour and threw a shot glass at the nearest wall. the loud sound of the glass shattering startled everyone around them. even reira who was recording a demo of one of their tracks. naoki's face turned pale in fear that they might fight there.

ren's face settled into a death stare. it was scarier than a face that actually visibly showed anger. his fists clenched after the burst of anger he let out and takumi was taken aback by the unexpected behavior of his usually composed bandmate. it was the first time they all saw ren lose his cool and snap.

“i don’t want to hear you talk about her like that ever again.” he pulled his leather jacket nestled on the sofa headrest and coldly turned his back on his bandmate to go outside and calm himself down.

ren rarely gets mad. but when it's about you... it's another story.

ren is non-confrontational. you two rarely even get into fights because ren stays out of drama and he avoids confrontations. which is why he's prone to taking the role of the more matured, bigger person and keeping his emotions to himself instead of expressing them. sometimes, he takes the blame all to himself and claims it's his fault whenever you two are on the edge of arguing just so you two don't fight, even if it's actually your fault, and you know it.

he likes using any products with your signature scent. it makes him feel like you’re there with him everywhere he goes.

“ren, you smell like white wine and strawberries, just like a girl!” was what reira told him upon stepping inside the room while sniffing him. “it leaves a scent trail. it smells familiar. what perfume are you using?”

ren turned to her, says it's your shower gel.

“from black stones? woah, you stay at her place?” naoki stood up from his seat. ren entertained their questions for a little while.

it goes the same for you too in band practices too.

“is that ren’s perfume on you?” nobu speaks from behind you, smelling the familiar scent of his friend on you.

“no.”

“but…” nobu scans your figure. “oh. it’s because you’re wearing his shirt.”

you didn’t even smell how the shirt smelled like ren. your nostrils got so used to his scent that it didn’t even register to you how you didn’t smell like yourself.

his desire to take your relationship to the next step was strong, but the desire to keep you around him was stronger. he knows he’ll drive you away if he mentions about tying the knot in a serious talk.

your relationship was unstable and full of uncertainties, and you hate being emotionally vulnerable in front of anyone, even him.

sometimes, it makes you want to leave.

“ren.”

“hm?”

but then you embrace him and suddenly, you’re reminded how strong your feelings are for ren honjo.

he stares at your face longer than he should in the morning when he wakes up first and you’re sleeping soundly next to him.

you’re beautiful. like you came straight out of a magazine.

if you were to be put beside supermodels, you’d outshine everyone. ren revels at the thought. if your face were to be featured in a magazine, he’ll frame it and keep it forever.

ren mutes all phone calls when he’s sleeping with you. but when he goes on tour, his mind is there back at home with you.

“i didn’t know booty calls worry whether and what the other person eats. is that how people do it nowadays? so modernized, truly shocking,” came takumi’s remark staring at ren while talking to reira and naoki out of ren's earshot.

“that’s so mean, takumi. leave him alone.” reira glared at him, having flashbacks of when he offended ren when he was talking to him about you. her eyes were also on ren who's on the phone with you.

you'll always come back to him, he’ll always be waiting for you with his arms wide open. you two are hopeless.

more time passed and you finally decided to take a step forward. ren was only waiting for you to initiate.

one snowy night while you and ren were sharing each other's heat, you hovered on top of him.

ren stops you. “wait,”

“do you not want to?” you were prepared to get off him in case he doesn't want to do it, but he held you in place.

“it’s not that. it’s just…” he trailed, “i do want a family with you more than anything. i always have. but if you’re off the pill right now then…”

you immediately got what he was trying to say. “so what?”

“i don’t want you to get pregnant if you don’t want to. what i say doesn’t matter. decide for yourself.”

“i want your child, inside me, ren.” he was about to tell you to think it through again, but you put his hand firmly on your hip. “let's start a family.”

and once again, he can never deny you of anything.

after weeks, you didn't take the news well about hachi's pregnancy and engagement to that fucking asshole, takumi.

“one of these days, i’ll snatch hachi back from you.” you told him.

“are you still in love with my fiancèe even after everything? i pity ren for being ardent with his love for you. dump him if you can’t love him back like that. he doesn’t deserve your half-assed love.” takumi smirks, enjoying how riled up he makes you while relaying the news.

you thought you were just crazy when you went through a deep state of grief after that conversation.

but you found out another cause were your hormones.

you were pregnant.

when you told ren the news, he reacted to the news calmly yet ecstatic. he'd been waiting for this moment with you all along.

you chose not to tell ren about the conversation you had with takumi about hachi only a few days ago that put you in distress. you know he'd act and do something about it, and that'll cause more problems.

nothing much changed for the first few weeks, you continued on with your gigs while your belly bump wasn't showing yet and you can still move around normally.

ren stopped his substance abuse when he learned he'll be stepping into fatherhood. he set his own ground rules. no getting high around you and his child that you're carrying. there were withdrawal symptoms, of course, that were hard to bear. but he's trying, and he's getting there.

yasu always keeps a close eye on you especially whenever ren is not around, even without ren's instructions. he's always there to aid you whenever you need something, which rarely ever happens because your pride doesn't let you ask for help from anyone. yasu still insists, anyway.

nobu speaks to your not-so-showing yet belly under your edgy peplum top and tells your kid to not grow like his or her mother, you, all gloom and grumpy. he earns a smack on his head in return. he's still in a state of grief himself after how unfortunate his relationship with hachi ended up to be, but he's happy to be a soon-to-be-uncle of your child.

shin follows you everywhere like a puppy. he accompanies you to your walk to you and ren's shared unit and he stays over whenever he wants to. sometimes falling asleep comfortably on your lap while he enjoys the chill of your unit's AC and the feel of your hands petting his blue hair like a cat on your lap. you two watch light-hearted movies on the TV.

when you started showing, you took a break from the band for a few months but you didn't disclose your pregnancy to the media, announcing that it's only a hiatus.

when your belly started to get bigger, your clothes fitted small to you, which is why to maximize their use, you let shin have his way with your closet. you had somehow similar versatile fashion styles, anyway. because of his small frame, almost everything in your wardrobe fits him. you told him to grab whatever he wants to borrow from your closet.

ren is there every step of the way. he buys you a lot of your cravings. whatever you need, he'll go through hell to get.

he'd give his trapnest career up for the if ever he gets put in a situation where he has to choose.

when you gave birth, everyone visited.

everyone... but hachi.

you try not to think about her anymore, but you still wonder about her whereabouts. you told ren and the others to stop talking about her in front of you when you were pregnant, so it became a sensitive topic for everyone to talk about. and besides, you know another factor is also because takumi locks her away.

you only overheard from yasu telling ren that hachi gave birth to her child with takumi too, a few months before you gave birth to venus.

ren used to call you his venus.

your daughter’s name is venus.

venus honjo.

it's a pretty name the both of you agreed on giving such a pretty daughter.

you always opt to eat healthy while breastfeeding.

ren is a good father to venus. she's more close to her father, that's why her first word was “dada”.

he gave your daughter everything the both of you never had, and you protected your daughter from the things no one protected you from when you were younger.

you were extra gentle with her because you too, were a little girl once, and she doesn't have to go through the same pain you went through during girlhood.

ren got deja vu when he was coddling venus and she snatched her arm from him. just like how you do whenever he coddles you too much.

“i kept praying she wouldn’t take after your temper. i guess mama’s genes are stronger than expected,” ren laughed after what just happened and continued dandling his daughter. the engagement ring on his finger shining under the morning sunlight made you look at your matching ones.

you ended up with him after everything.

and yet the exact words to describe your relationship with ren honjo were still nowhere to be found.

'she’s an angel,

a goddess.

my goddess.

like venus.

a beauty.'

***

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