Qualia

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." - Alan Cohen 26 / Educator / Quote Collector All photos are taken by me unless stated otherwise.

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Failing is not just for Failures

I lost my best friend to sadness  speaking these words at arms length  he said: to shake things up as hard as you can  and if you figure it out by god tell everyone  he said: failing is not just for failures  it's for everyone, failures just have more experience  but you can't quit now, you have to climb all night  climb everyone of their towers, and show them your life  but if I'm a quitter now, I promise I'll quit her in the end  I don’t need these weapons, I’ll set my heart to win  with the weight of the world trying to stop me  breathe out, then inhale my little heartbeat  and I'll do this for you, because the world might need it  if I don't I'll lose hope, and we'll end up losing it (oh well)  I lost my best friend to sadness  Even though we tried and tried, I guess we really didn't  I haven’t seen my chin since last may  I’m gonna hold my breath. Let's all hold our breath together  and turn this graveyard into a garden and grow from here  we give words to colors and swear we're not blind  we must be the last of our kind, claiming all the world as if we'll never die  we are the ones living right now clamoring around on top of everyone  but it has to hurt of it's to heal, well my god it must be healing  it's like a knife in the heart, and I'm starting to lose feeling  it's gonna hurt before it heals, but the pain is getting bigger  this dams about to go, and I'm running out of fingers  it'll hurt but it will heal, I'm starting to believe it  eyes wide open in the darkness, but I really can't see it  it’s burning right now and I want you to feel it somehow,  but without the pain of knowing it  when all is lost I won’t think of you  there's nothing in this world that ghost can do  no matter what's ahead I'll push on through  for your life or through your death, I’ll keep on  Until I've reached the sea where I can go no further  when all these possibilities keep forcing me towards their goals  confronted with their true self most men run away screaming  with nothing as their enemy it's hollow and it's whole.  stuffing sorrow in their souls  until all hope is lost in the infinite  I won't ever say goodbye because there's no good in it  I'll stay the course, you've sailed away  while my path leads to God only knows  I'll finish this race, you've quit so early  I'd invite you to swim but drifting is not swimming  and this is it, you've given me no choice  but to use mere words to stay alive. while you've paid them no mind.  and I'll tell stories about your life, you are no hero but I'll lie...  because, when all is lost I won’t think of you  there's nothing in this world that ghost can do  no matter what's ahead I'll push on through  for your life or through your death, I’ll keep on

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Two Seas - Seabird

Time passes you by As I say goodbye And get back in line To buy us more time Forgoes all needs Still I beg and plead For distance to grow Over my shadow

Made by sun, in my mind The ocean rests in your eyes It flows, oh it flows But you don't know where it goes And it starts to rain here

For all things beautiful You said you never understood How they could be For all that fell so short of your dreams The chase was always what mattered more

Shores Seabirds don't lie So why can't I fly Through clouds made of tears From the salt in my eyes The map torn and creased Fall down to your knees The distance is forever and always

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Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds awake to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers by day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dreams with open eyes to make them possible.

T. E. Lawrence

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New Beginnings

“The chief beauty about time is that you cannot waste it in advance. The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you, as perfect, as unspoiled, as if you had never wasted or misapplied a single moment in all your life. You can turn over a new leaf every hour if you choose.”  ― Arnold Bennett

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長崎 <Nature>

Will post up more about  my Golden week trip to Nagasaki soon. But for now, enjoy.

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My 4th trip to Miyajima 宮島 & a little bit of cooking Okonomiyaki お好み焼きat the end.

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Snowboarding in Mizuho Highlands

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To: You

Dear You,

I haven't done this in a while - not since Secondary school in fact. But I do go back to what's familiar so here goes.

Once, a long time ago, I lost a friend. Someone who was close and dear to my heart. I went through the stages of grief - denial, anger, sadness. Funny, now that I think about it, I haven't really reached the acceptance stage yet. That experience taught me a valuable lesson: be honest with your friends - because true friends will still love you despite your brutal honesty. Tell them how you feel and how they make you feel. If you don't, this pent up frustration and anger that you call tolerance will build up to a catastrophic point. To the point where your friendship will never be able to mend itself back again.

Back in my anger stage (of grief), I developed this theory that I still somewhat believe till this day - that if she bothered to mend the friendship, to actually do something , she would've said something. But she never did. & with that, she decided to let me go. Without an ounce of trying to salvage an already doomed friendship, she decided to let me go. (See, I told you that I was still not really in the acceptance stage)

So in an attempt to salvage our friendship, I've been brutally honest with you. But alas, just like child guidance strategies, not one strategy works for each child. & so, you feign ignorance and push my wearies aside. That's selfish but you gotta look out for your own feelings anyway.

Why am I writing this? Maybe cause I need a way to go through how I'm feeling. Maybe I'm hoping you'll read this, succumb to your foolishness & realise how you've made me feel. Maybe I'm just writing this just because.

Love, Me

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Lists

I'm finally back in Singapore for the holidays so... it's time to strike off some things off my list!

Things I want to do when I’m back

Visit Booksactually

Go rock-climbing with the guys

Re-visit all the museums

Visit Odyssey to see old colleagues & kids

Visit Gardens by the bay

Visit the River Safari

Proper club night with the girls

Meet up with my Wheelock girls

Meet up with CTW ex-colleagues

Meet up with Japanese ex-classmates & 先生s

Have an epic NYE party

Visit Birds & Co. for 2nd hand vintage books

Visit some of the cafes listed here

Go for karaoke

  Food I want to eat when I’m back

Bak Kut Teh

Chicken Rice

Fried Carrot Cake

Rojak

Prata

Din Tai Fung (or that new store from HK)

Black pepper crab

Wan Ton Mee

Nasi Lemak

Satay

Katong Laksa

Bak Kwa

Ban Mian

Timbre’s Duck Pizza

Taiwan Black Tea (Gong Cha)

Passion Ai-yu (Koi)

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The Fifth of November

Remember, remember! The fifth of November, The Gunpowder treason and plot; I know of no reason Why the Gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot!

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Miyajima 宮島, Part II

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My favourite quotes paired with my favourite photographs.

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Nostalgia

"Be here is the truth of nostalgia: we don't feel it for who we were, but who we weren't. We feel it for all the possibilities that were open to us but that we didn't take." - Cecil Baldwin

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Love, it seems like only yesterday You were just a chid at play. Now you’re all grown up inside of me, Oh how fast those moments flee. Once we watched a lazy world go by, Now the days seem to fly. Life is brief but when it’s gone, Love goes on and on.

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Pray for Peace

On the 6th of August 1945, at exactly 8:15am, the atomic bomb hit Hiroshima. Yesterday marked the 68th anniversary of the tragic event. I didn't manage to go for the Peace Memorial Ceremony in the morning but the 灯籠流した (Tōrō nagashi) was a spectacular one. Locals, Japanese from different parts of Japan as well as foreigners all gathered in the Peace Park to pay their respects to those who innocently lost their lives and those who suffered because of it. It was surreal to see the amount of people gathering on just one spot to pray for peace. 

My Japanese friend brought me to a secret spot down the river where there weren't a lot of people and we made our lanterns there. She made one for her grandmother, a 被爆者 (Hibakusha - which is what they called survivors of the atomic bombing in Hiroshima & Nagasaki), who passed away last year. I made one and added a quote that I found recently on peace:

Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice.

- Baruch Spinoza

& as we let out lanterns float along the river, I thought about the millions of people who lost their lives, those who survived and about how much destruction one bomb caused.

Let peace prevail. 

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Collector

& so I combined 3 of my favourite things together - polaroids, quotes & tape. & soon, my sliding door will be filled.