•.°mentally ill.°•

•°.certified whore for fictional men.°•

[regulusblackslut]

welcome to my blog!

hi there, my name is em!

masterlist (will be added)

i really want to start writing on tumblr so please send requests!

fandoms i write for:

The Marauders Fandom

Harry Potter

South Park

IT (2017)

Chuckle Sandwich (ted & schlatt)

what i will write:

fem!reader

Fluff

Angst

Smut

Headcannons

Imagines/Blurbs

i will not write:

underage smut (18+ please)

lncest

SA/r@pe

extremely k!nky stuff (i will let u know)

[regulusblackslut]

dibs

IM BACKKK im sorry this took so long! im gonna try to get better at posting!

Stan x Reader x Kyle, established relationship, aged up to college, drinking, p in v, oral, Eiffel Tower, lowk perv!stan, y/n used like twice, lmk what i missed

“I know you want her.”

.°•.៰⢊∘。

It’s no secret that Stan Marsh has had a boner for you since middle school. A good number of boys from your high school have as well: Clyde Donovan, Tolkien Black, and your current boyfriend, Kyle Broflovski. 

.°•.៰⢊∘。

Stan had called ‘dibs’ on you during lunch in 7th grade. 

“Come on, dude, think about it! Sally Turner is gonna be so hot.” Cartman said, calling attention to the lunch table across the room from them. 

“No, fatass. We’re talking about now. For all you know, Lisa Berger could become the hottest person alive,” Kyle interjected. 

“Well if she does, you can have her, you fucking jew.”

“What about Bebe, huh? She’s got massive tits!” Kenny muffled, gesturing to his own chest. 

“No, you’re totally right!” Clyde said enthusiastically, patting Kenny on the back. “Dude, I totally call dibs on her.”

The two of them bickered back and forth about who really ‘gets’ Bebe. Meanwhile, the other guys scanned their eyes to the girls' table, deciding which girl they’d objectify next. 

“What about y/n?” Stan offered to the table. Everyone’s attention turned to you. You were laughing with your friends, a big, cheesy smile adorned your face that showed your bright pink braces to the whole school. 

All the guys looked at each other, and before anyone could say anything, Stan shouted, “Dibs!”

Everyone groaned in response before Cartman interrupted, “Of course you called her! You probably jerk off to her every night!”

“Fuck you, fatso!! She’d be more into me than you!” Stan rebutted, with a face as red as his pizza. 

And ever since then, every guy in their group knew you were Stan’s. 

.°•.៰⢊∘。  

You never realized that Stan liked you. He was always too nervous to talk to you, and by junior year, he started to date Wendy. About a year later, Kyle started to act a little weird. He giggled at his phone, not even eating the food his mom packed for him. 

“What gay shit are you laughing at now?” Cartman inquired from across the table. 

“Nothing, asshole.” He said, putting his phone in his pocket. 

“Are you texting y/n again?” Craig asked from beside him, elbowing him. Kyle blushed, looking down at his food. 

“Dude, what?!” Stan said, raising his voice. “How could you?!”

“Are you actually serious right now? You said that 5 years ago, but you never did anything about it. In fact,” Kyle started to get heated. “You did the exact opposite and got a girlfriend!”

Stan realized Kyle was right and rolled his eyes. “How long have you guys been together?” Faking support for his best friend

“Almost 2 months. It’s actually going pretty well!” He responded, mood lightening. 

“Man, you’re so lucky you get to crack her,” Kenny said, receiving nods and hums from the other guys. Stan never said anything about it ever again.   

.°•.៰⢊∘。

You all ended up graduating and leaving South Park for school. Stan and Wendy broke up “to experience college,” but everyone knew it was because Wendy and Tolkien had a thing for each other. 

You and Kyle ended up going to school together at UC Boulder. You guys fell further for each other every single day. Nobody had a single doubt that you two would get married. Y’all were the perfect couple. 

As much as you loved this new chapter, breaks were the best! All of your friends from your little mountain town, together again. 

To start the break right, you guys were at Kyle’s house for a party. Loud music, beer pong, an unlocked liquor cabinet and no parents-- every college kid’s dream. 

You were lying on the couch with your back on Kyle and your legs on Heidi, reminiscing about high school even though you guys graduated only 2 years prior. Tolkien and Red sat across from you guys, and Clyde and Stan were on the floor. 

Mid-conversation, you hear “Y/N! COME JOIN!” From Nichole and Kenny at the Pong table. You happily run off to see your friends, and the conversation continues on like normal. 

However, as you were leaving, Stan couldn’t help but admire you from afar. Your hair swaying as you left, your gorgeous legs, the short skirt you wore that made your butt look so, so good. It was so short he could see it just hanging out from underneath. Were you even wearing underwear? 

“Fuck.” He thought, feeling blood rush to his crotch, immediately changing positions. He looked around and panicked to see if anyone caught him. Eyes scanning the room, only to lock with his best friend, looking a mix of confusion, pride, and disgust. 

He ignored it, joining the conversation again, but he could feel the burning gaze of his best friend still on him. 

.°•.៰⢊∘。

Hours passed, and almost everyone left or went to bed on a couch or an air mattress downstairs. 

As Stan and Kyle dumped out cans and wiped down tables, a thick, awkward silence filled the room. 

“I know you want her,” Kyle said, paying attention to the beer being dumped into the sink. Stan whipped his head around, trying to defend himself, but was quickly cut off. 

“I mean, how could you not, right? Trust me, it’s amazing. She’s ridiculously tight, and dude, the head? Fantastic.” Stan couldn’t tell what was happening. Was he rubbing it in or promoting her like a product? Was one of them drunk? Kyle got closer. 

“Now, I’m gonna go upstairs and fuck her. I’m only saying this because you’re my best friend. You have three options: 1- you can join. 2- You can watch. 3- You can sit down on a couch and hear me do the one thing you’ve wanted your whole life. She’s okay with any, and so am I.”

Stan looked at the taller boy, dumbfounded. Was he serious? What did he mean by you being okay with this? Did you want him too?

“Um… I-I guess the first” 

“Okay.”

They went upstairs to Kyle’s room and found you lying on your stomach, scrolling on social media. You were wearing a simple nightgown. 

Kyle came up behind you, kissing your shoulder blade, placing his hands on your hips. You turn around, wrapping your arms around him and allowing him to kiss you deeper. His arms wrap under you, holding you closer as you start kissing his neck and rubbing his boner. 

Stan is paralyzed in the middle of the room, watching this poetic, yet pornographic display of love take place. Kyle turns his head to Stan and says, “Let me get her ready for you”. 

Your boyfriend lies you down, leaving your head at the foot of his bed. His hand makes its way down to your chest while kissing your neck. Kyle slips his hand under your nightgown, rolling your nipple between his fingers. You throw your head back in pleasure, making eye contact with Stan, who was still in awe of what was going on. 

“Hi,” you whisper, sending him a sweet yet sultry smile. After all, he is your lifelong friend. Stan felt his cock twitch at the attention you gave him. He was about to respond but was cut off by a moan leaving your perfect lips. 

Kyle moved his head under your nightgown between your legs, licking long stripes between your folds. His tongue would go up to your clit before going back down. As you felt a tightness brew in your lower stomach, you grabbed a fistful of your boyfriend's curls and instinctively rolled your hips against his face. 

After a few minutes, your boyfriend realized that Stan was still just admiring you. He reluctantly pulled away from you and leaned against his headboard, gesturing for Stan to take his place. You moved so your back was against Kyle, with your legs spread, waiting for Stan. He knelt next to your sopping pussy and nervously placed a kiss against it. 

The breathy moan that fell from your lips gave him the confidence to do more. He took his middle and index fingers and brushed them up and down your slit before sliding them in. 

“Oh fuck…” You groaned, throwing your head against Kyle’s shoulder. Stan’s pace quickened, and he started sucking your clit, encouraging louder moans from you. Kyle slapped his hand over your mouth so as not to wake anyone downstairs. But in your defence, Stan was going crazy on you. He’s dreamed of going down on you for years now (even while he had a girlfriend), and he doubted he would have the pleasure of doing this again.

“Kyle, babe, I’m so close,” you muffled, looking up at your boyfriend, who was too invested in your tits.

“Don’t tell me that; you gotta tell him that.” 

“Stan..”

“I know, baby, I know.” He said, still not giving up. That pet name sent you over the edge, closing your legs around Stan’s head as you finished. When you finished your orgasm, Stan sat back and wiped his mouth. He inserted his fingers into his mouth and groaned at your taste

Stan was rock hard and his dick was itching to be touched. He noticed Kyle whispering in your ear. You moved over in front of Stan, cupping his face, and began to kiss him deeply. His hands started roaming around your body, a newfound confidence emerging. One hand played with your tit while the other grabbed at your waist. You felt a second pair of hands at your hips, turning you around. You were on all fours, facing your boyfriend's cock while grinding against his best friend’s.

Stan looked at Kyle like a deer in headlights, unsure of what to do next.

“You can fuck her. Just don’t come inside,” Kyle responded as if he read his friend’s mind. “It’s gonna be the best you ever had.”

You wrapped your lips around Kyle, taking his whole length at once. Something you’ve done many times but always a bit of a challenge.

“Fuuuck” your boyfriend hissed as you started blowing him. Stan lined himself up with you and slowly entered, savoring this new feeling.

Stan settled and set a pace that matched how he entered, not trusting himself to last long inside you. As he’s fucking you, he thinks of how long he's waited for this. Every time you wore a low-cut top, bent down to pick something up, twirled your hair in class, or that time Stan saw you and Kyle making out at a frat party during the weekend he visited you at school, it just made him want you more. 

Meanwhile, Kyle was fucking your mouth brutally. The almost animalistic way he behaved was so different than his sassy yet reserved self. Every time Kyle moved his hips forward, it pushed you farther back onto Stan, bringing him closer to finishing. Being filled in both holes mixed with the brewing overstimulation from your orgasm, you were flooded with ecstasy. 

“Shit, switch with me, Stan. I'm about to finish.” Kyle said, removing himself from you. Stan didn’t think he could pull out if he wanted to with how tight you were squeezing him. However, you did it for him and turned to face him.

“You ready?” You questioned as you grabbed his length, stroking it. You gave him light kitten-licks to the tip that drove him insane. Then you bobbed your head down while swirling your tongue over the head. 

Stan’s head threw back, and he let out a moan; his hips routinely met your face as you continued. Kyle was continuing his pace from before, holding you tightly as he reached closer to his orgasm. One of his hands snaked down and played with your clit. 

“God, you're doing so good for us, huh?” He praised you from behind. You responded, sending vibrations to Stan’s cock that sent him over the edge. He grabbed a fistful of your hair as he spilled his load into your mouth. That didn’t stop the rhythm you had going, removing your mouth but still jerking him off. 

“Baby, I’m gonna cum, okay? Can you handle that?” Kyle groaned as he did the same thing as his best friend had just seconds prior. You let out loud moans, feeling your boyfriend’s cum fill you up.

“Ohmygod fuckfuckfuck” you chanted as you followed suit, your second orgasm erupting around Kyle and letting go of Stan’s sore dick. He pulled out and handed you a towel to help clean you up, planting a kiss on your forehead. You excused yourself and left for the bathroom.

Stan was speechless. He felt like he was going to wake up the next morning and find it all to be a dream.

“So…?” Kyle inquired.

“Dude. You're so fucking lucky. I don’t think I’ve come that hard in my whole life.” Stan responded. 

“I know. I'm happy dibs don’t really mean anything.” He joked.

[elijahhewsonswifelol]

this might be niche but there has yet to be a fic that has made me feel the way ‘the salt and the sea- regulus black’ has made me feel

[regulusblackslut]

hi i’m alive 🤗 making a 3some post… what pairing should it be?

bill denbrough / richie tozier

kyle broflovski / stan marsh

Voting ended onNov 29, 2025

(first named is MAYBE reader’s bf.. tbd tho)

sorry for the 2 year delay… 😋😋

EDIT: read here!

[regulusblackslut]

pls send south park requests 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 i’m having major brain damage rot!!

[regulusblackslut]

remus lupin has a slutty man waist.

[regulusblackslut]

Can I request a dom regulus black x “innocent” fem reader?

hiiii! thanks for requesting! (SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER 🙏🏻🙏🏻)

Regulus Black x Fem!Reader

BRO. THIS MAN- literally my fav ever (hence the username)

warnings: dom!reg, smut (obvs), fingering, cursing, protected sex (wrap it before u tap it)

notes: i didnt know what kind of innocent you wanted the reader to be so i made her more naive/inexperienced. i hope thats okay!! thanks for requesting!

you’re more on the inexperienced side when it comes to the intimate details of relationships. you lost your virginity to your first boyfriend, Walden McNair, in 5th year. he had no idea what he was doing and finished 7 minutes later. safe to say it was one of the most awkward experiences of your life. you ended up breaking up 2 weeks later. so it's not that you haven't done anything before dating regulus, you just hadn't found someone you would want to go further with. but since dating him you’ve gradually opened up to getting more sensual.

which is how you found yourself in the same position that you’ve been in numerous times, laying on regulus’s bed with him on top of you. his head burrowed on the left side of your neck leaving rough, passionate kisses on any visible skin he could find. his left hand was cupping your jaw while his right hand rests on your waist, occasionally lightly grabbing the flesh. you let out a few breathy moans as he continues his actions.

and that's all you guys really do. but this time is different, you want more. you want regulus in every way possible.

“um.. reg?” you say meekly, closing your eyes out of pure nervousness.

“hmm?” he inquiries, still working on your neck, determined to turn it a different color.

“i-um.. want you to um fuck me? please?”

he stills. regulus lifts his head and sits back a bit, starring at you. your heart drops. you sit up and stare at the velvet bedding. ‘what if he didn’t want that in this relationship? what if he breaks up with me now? i mean we’re only 17. he probably thinks i’m so weird now’ you think.

“..really?” he says, barely above a whisper.

you look up at him. your eyebrows raised and a warm blush rises up your face.

“i mean i-if you want to of course.”

“say it again. now.” he says. his eyes filled with lust, raking over your figure with a slight smirk. it’s like a switch flipped in his head. all these thoughts he’s had about you- how you’re positioned, the fucked out look on your face, the sweet little noises you make as he makes you feel oh-so good -are able to become reality.

“i want you to fuck me, regulus.” you barely muster enough courage to make eye contact with him as you say that.

regulus groans in response, leaning in to kiss you. his right hand on your waist as his left one comes up and cups your breast, squeezing it. you moan into his mouth as you tug at the bottom of his button-down. he leans back and slowly undoes 3 of the buttons.

“well come on! it’s only fair to have yours off as well no?” he chuckles, carrying on with his shirt. you quickly discard your top, throwing it off of the bed, leaving you in a lacy white bra.

his eyes dart to your chest. his hands stop what he’s doing and reach around your back to the clasp. regulus looks back at you with a confirming look as if he’s asking “is this alright, love?” you give a nod and a small smile. he unclasps the bra and lightly pushes you so you're laying back on the bed.

he starts kissing down your neck all the way down to your breasts. he stops to admire you all laid out for him. his hand comes up, squeezes your left tit and grazes his thumb over your nipple. while still squeezing the flesh he ducks down and kisses your bare chest, as an attempt to replicate his masterpiece that is on your neck. your moans only encourage him as he pinches and nips at the exposed area of your chest.

“oh god regulus! please, i need you in me.”

“be patient ma chérie.” regulus says moving back so he is at your legs. “i’m going to make you feel so good, i promise.”

he flips up your skirt and stares for a moment. his thumb pressing the wet patch forming on your pink panties.

“ugh! reg, please!”

“patience, mon amour, or i’ll stop right now and leave you to finish yourself off.” regulus’ words went straight to your core causing a breathy moan of desperation to leave your lips.

he takes your underwear off and slips it into his pocket, sending you a sly wink. regulus takes his index and middle finger, dragging it through your folds. you bite your lip, muffling your sounds of pleasure he’s composing. he slips his fingers in and starts at a steady pace. not enough to make you orgasm quickly but still causing your eyes to roll back into your head.

regulus rolls his thumb over your clit, rubbing tight circles over and over again. that’s when your moans start to increase, you feel your orgasm start to build. he devilishly pulls his fingers out and signals to his bedside table.

“can you grab a condom, doll?” you groan in frustration at the sudden loss of friction and roll over to the right side of his bed. after grabbing the condom you find your boyfriend standing completely nude. you can’t help but stare at his toned figure, eyes tracing over every muscle until they reach his bright pink cock.

your eyes widen a bit at the sheer look of it. 8 inches, neatly kept, and standing straight up - rock hard.

you tear open the condom and place it on the head of his dick. looking up at him for reassurance that all of this was okay, regulus replies with a strained “go on”. rolling it down his length he takes in a sharp inhale, eyes squeezed shut.

“shit. the things you do to me love.” his hand cups your face, his thumb slightly catching your bottom lip. you fall backwards on the bed and prop yourself up with your elbows. regulus crawls towards you and stops in between your legs.

he places the head of his cock at your entrance and waits. “you ready?” he questions. you nod your head with a loving smile.

regulus pushes himself in you then leans down to kiss you. he lets you adjust to him while you make out. he slowly starts thrusting back and forth, causing light moans and pants to spill out of both of your mouths.

his right hand interlocks with your left and brings it above your head. his thrusts move deeper in you, drawing your right hand to scratch down his back. he grabs your leg, moving it up to give him more access. the slight position change makes both of you groan.

“fuck, mon amour. you are doing fantastic for me. you make me feel so good.” you could only moan in response to your boyfriend's words. regulus buries his head in the crook of your neck, kissing over the hickeys he left earlier.

while still keeping his brutal pace, regulus snakes his hand down to your clit and rubs fast, tight circles.

“you like that huh?” he chuckles, feeling you clench around him.

“y-yes reg. feels so g-ood. ‘m so close”

“fuck- me too”

regulus moves both of his hands onto your hips, grabbing the flesh to brace himself with his increased speed. now you’re seeing stars.

“reggie i’m gonna cum. please don’t stop” you murmur. your eyes roll back to your head and your toes curl. he brings his hand back down to toy with your clit. that’s when your body erupts in pleasure and warmth. regulus keeps thrusting into you chasing his own release. his actions are sloppy and his groans increase.

he finally finished with a string of curses followed by your name. he pulls out and rolls next to you.

“shit mon amour. that was fantastic. i love you so much, thank you.” regulus whispers before he places a kiss onto your lips.

“i love you too” you respond, kissing him back. “wanna get cleaned up in the prefects bathroom? we can take a nice long bath together. hmm?”

“that would be amazing, ma chérie.” he says, standing up to find wherever your clothes went.

[regulusblackslut]

what do i post first??

regulus black smut

stan marsh smut

Voting ended onSep 17, 2023

[regulusblackslut]

i have 2 (maybeee 3) things coming out this week 👀👀 thanks for being patient! school is.. school 😐

[regulusblackslut]

drunk kyle and y/n hcs? 🙏

Drunk!Kyle x reader hcs

warnings: established relationship,cursing, alcohol consumption, underage drinking, cartman being cartman, throw up mentioned once, jealous kyle??

notes: first piece and req!! thank u so much! I KNOW RAMBLE OKAY?!

- it was most likely at one of stan’s parties

- y’all alr KNOW he’s got every type of booze on lock

- that means he got the good stuff too. like after 2 shots ur already feeling it yk?

- kyle wasn’t a huge party guy despite his friends “actually doing something fucking fun” (as per cartman)

- he never got drunk bc if sheila found out… the entire town would have heard her wrath

- but tonight was different

- tonight was stan’s last party before everyone started leaving for college

- and kyle wanted to have fun

- especially with you

- kyle was going to Colorado College and you were going to Arizona State

- so he wanted this night to be the best one yet

- as soon as he walked into stan’s house to help set up before the party, kenny gave him a drink

- it was just a seltzer but it still gave his head a little buzz

- nothing too bad

- u got there right on time with some others

- there were the 4 guys, you, bebe, and clyde at 7:15 waiting for everyone

- so naturally y’all start the jello shots

- kyle did 3 of the strong ones.

- NOW he was feeling it

- craig and clyde had challenged him and tolkien to a game of pong

- and it was close

- like it was tied the whole game until kyle made the last shot

- so he had 5 or so beers, a seltzer, jello shots, and god know what else in his system

- and he was feeling on top of the world

- now that he has his full attention on you, you get to fully experience drunk kyle

(now we really get to the hcs 😈 i will forever ramble when it comes to this man 😈😈)

- “Y/NnN!! did you seem that? i was amanzing”

- HIS SPEECH

- mans def adds letters that are not supposed to be there 😭

- when he drinks he becomes a new person

- he’s dancing with you to every song.

- like. every. song.

- “kyle, babe, wanna take a break? i’m getting tired”

- “WAIT this is my favorite song! (he’s never heard it before) please let’s dance to it ☹️☹️”

- pov kyle: 🕺🏻🕺🏻💃💃

- he does get really possessive of u

- when y’all are socializing, he keeps his arm around your shoulder or a hand on the small of ur back yk??

- he’s always nervous that someone with try and take u away from him

- even tho everyone in South Park knows y’all are together so nobody tries

- it only happened once

- and it was that same night too

clyde was definitely way to drunk to know what he was saying anyways, like he barely could keep his eyes open. so when he walked up to you slurring over his words about “alwaysben prety… anddyou look realygood noww”. kyles temper got the better of him. he grabbed clyde by the collar and pushed him against the nearest wall. “awwwh shitkyle..” clyde grumbled “imsorr man i didnteven realize”. kyle’s voice was low “yeah u better be sorry. apologize to her. now.”

- so clyde did and he let him go

- after kyle calmed down (with the help of u and stan) he was back to having the best night ever with his favorite people

- when the party started winding down it was just the gang, you, craig, and tolkien

- kenny found 6 shot glasses and a bottle of Fireball

- so OBVIOUSLY the boys had to see who could do the most shots

- cartman tapped out after 1 claiming “it tastes like the Christmas Tree Shop. whoever drinks that is such a pussy”

- he’s so salty.

- then tolkien with 2

- “you know Y/N.. it’s like the stick came out of ur boyfriends ass finally”

- “ERIC”

- craig and kyle both tapped out after 4

- you were surprised he hasn’t thrown up yet with everything in his system

- but boy was he wasted

- he plopped down next to u on the couch

- “heyy babyy ”

- “hi kyle”

- “u are the most gorgeousest girl inthewrokd”

- “iwoulddate u foreverplease?”

- it’s like he fell in love with you all over again 🥹

- “i love u too ky-“

- “imtired. canwego home?”

- “ok yeah. your gonna sleep at my house tonight okay? just don’t want ur mom getting upset.”

- “ohmyygosh ur so smart! imsorry ididntthink of that!”

- “it’s okay babe, just text her youre sleeping at my house”

- you lived two houses down from stan so “distance” was the PERFECT excuse to not go home

- craig and tolkien left and were on their way to craig’s house for the night

- kenny was passed out on the couch, cradling (an equally asleep) cartman like a teddy bear

- and stan was looking around his house trying to clean up

- but he gave up and left that mess for ‘sober stan’

- you got your guys’s things together and made your way over to your house

- kyle’s drunk blabbering somehow managed to not wake up ur parents??

- y’all made it into ur room with no throw up anywhere 🙏🏻🙏🏻

- i swear as soon as kyle laid on ur bed he was fast asleep

- like shoes on and everything

- you got him all situated and tucked both of y’all into bed

- in the morning, you put out advil and water waiting for him when he woke up 🫶🏻🫶🏻

- “safe to say i’m never drinking again”

(ik my writing is shit) thanks again for requesting!