My work!
MGG x actress!reader Spencer Reid x lawyer!reader
Request: OPEN! Check guideline below!
Claire Keane
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

blake kathryn

shark vs the universe
noise dept.
Monterey Bay Aquarium
đ©” avery cochrane đ©”

#extradirty
Sweet Seals For You, Always
taylor price
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
No title available

Product Placement

izzy's playlists!
trying on a metaphor

Kiana Khansmith
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

No title available
Show & Tell

Andulka

seen from United States
seen from Portugal

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Venezuela

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Colombia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Portugal
@reidsmanuscript
My work!
MGG x actress!reader Spencer Reid x lawyer!reader
Request: OPEN! Check guideline below!
You can leave anything! from a song or a prompt or a picture đ«¶đ»
If your're mean you're getting blocked.
Both !readers have names in my mind and sometimes i write with those names before making the fics xyou friendly so if sometimes i forget to correct that i apologize in advance!
If you give me a fluff scenario I'll be grateful bc my brain can't come up with those but if you ask for angst I'LL LOVE YOU.
Just a heads-up! The timeline in my stories isnât strictly realisticâthings happen closer together than they would in real life. I tweak events to fit the story, so donât worry too much about exact dates!
All works on this masterlist are my original writing. I do not allow reposting, copying, translations, or adaptations of my stories without permission. Please respect my work!
About me!
Harley. She/her. I'm 20 and english is not my first language lol and I'm not from U.S., Psychology student! big swiftie.
my characters have a lot of details and unnecesary stuff i love to add, writting them is cathartic for me!
Red wine and green flag
Summary: what happens when you mix malbec, very little clotting, lots of self pressure, fear of losing someone you love and some slight BDSM research? a meltdown. Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader (not necessarily lawyer!reader but yeah it's her) Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort? WC: 2.5k! TW: casual nudity, reader feels like she has to have sex, fem reader, alcohol, slight panic? idk somebody help A/N: this is for all the people who feels weird for liking a little too much the use of safewords and consent lol Masterlist (it's not necessary to read the first 4 chapters!)
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
It had been over two months since the two of you had found yourselves in a moment like this â a week where Hotch had given Spencer the rest of the time off, and you werenât buried under stacks of paperwork or burning yourself out trying to convince a jury.
For once, the world had slowed down. No deadlines, no crime scenes, no frantic calls. Just a quiet evening, unhurried.
A half-finished bottle of wine sat between you on the coffee table, something the two of you had started sharing on nights like this â a ritual that had grown into its own small kind of comfort.
âGod, Iâve missed you,â you sighed, glass in hand, letting your gaze linger on his kind eyes.
Spencerâs lips curved, soft and a little dazed from the wine. âWell, Iâve missed you too. Itâs been a while since weââ
âHad real sex?â you cut in, eyebrow raised.
He huffed a laugh, shaking his head. âI was going to say relax properly⊠but maybe that too.â
The look he gave you then â those dopey, wine-softened eyes and the faint flush on his lips â made your stomach flip.
It wasnât like you hadnât been together in that way at all. But lately, it had been rushed â quick, desperate moments snatched at the end of long days, more about channeling the stress somewhere than about sinking into each other.Â
âAlthough the good thing isâŠâ he murmured, taking your hand in his, âIâm all yours for the rest of the week.â He kissed your palm first, then trailed slowly upward â your wrist, your arm â until his lips brushed your shoulder and continued slowly to your neck.Â
You let out a content sigh, tilting your head as a second nature to give him more access. âThree full days of unlimited Spencer Reid? I should really buy a lottery ticket while my luckâs this good.â
He gave you that lopsided, wine-soft smile. âLottery tickets are chance. Thisââ he whispered in your ear and left a soft kiss under your lobe, ââis guaranteed.â
You arched a brow, smirking. âUnlimited access, huh? Do you come with a user manual?â
Spencer chuckled, leaning closer. âI thought you liked puzzles.â
Your laugh slipped out before you could stop it, but it faded quickly when his lips hovered just shy of yours, warm breath ghosting against your mouth. For a moment, he waited â always giving you the choice, even when you were already leaning in.
You closed the gap first.
The kiss was soft at the start, a slow reacquainting. Then his hand slid along your jaw, steadying you like he was terrified of losing you, and the sigh that escaped you seemed to undo him completely. He deepened the kiss, careful but hungry, and you tasted the faint sweetness of wine on his lips.
Your glass clinked against the coffee table as you set it down blindly, hands finding his shirt, tugging him closer. His dopey, wine-flushed smile melted into something needier against your mouth, and when he pulled back just barely, his voice was already wrecked.
He began asking âDo you want to go toââ
âGod, yes,â you cut him off, way too fast, way too breathless to care how desperate your voice sounded.
You barely made it down the hall, lips still pressed together, stumbling into walls and laughing between kisses. His hands framed your face, then slid down to your waist as if he couldnât decide where he needed you most.
By the time you reached the bedroom, Spencer was just as breathless as you were â too caught up in you to care about anything else. He fumbled with the door, kicking it closed without breaking the kiss, and then took your face in his hands again like he couldnât stand to let go.
Your laugh hitched against his mouth, muffled by how hungrily he kissed you back. âYouâre supposed to be careful,â you teased between breaths.
âI am careful,â he managed, voice wrecked, âjust⊠not right now.â
He walked you backward until the back of your knees bumped the edge of the bed, lips still on yours, hands never straying too far as though he was terrified of losing the contact even for a second.
âDo you want to try⊠what we talked about?â he asked, voice low, almost hesitant but full of need.
âYeah,â you breathed, heart racing. âSounds good.â
He grinned, just the tiniest bit dopey, and leaned in again, hands already roaming, like he couldnât wait another second.
Just before this pseudo dry spell, you two had talked about trying something new â sensory deprivation. Youâd been the one to suggest it, admitting you werenât exactly sure what you wanted, just that you were curious. Spencer, ever the meticulous planner, had done all the research for you, carefully noting your absolute noâs, what to avoid, and how to make it safe and enjoyable.
The idea was simple: youâd wear a blindfold, letting him guide you entirely with his hands, his voice, and subtle touches, so youâd always know where he was without seeing him. He promised to keep talking to you the whole time, grounding you, making sure the trust and closeness between you stayed front and center.
Your shirt was already gone, his too, and the warmth of his fingertips felt like little sparks igniting trails of fire across your skin. Every touch made your pulse jump, every brush of his hand fanning the slow burn building between you.
He slid your pants down with deliberate care before pausing, reaching for one of his ties. He held it in his hands for a moment, almost contemplative.
Despite all his meticulous research â every article and forum heâd read about safety, about what materials were best â youâd insisted on the tie. Not because it was ideal, but because of the way his expression had shifted when youâd first mentioned it, something dark and hungry flickering in his eyes. Youâd wanted that, wanted him in this moment, and he hadnât argued.
Still, even now, his gaze searched yours as if asking for permission one last time.
You nodded, excitement bubbling in your chest as he slipped the tie over your eyes and tied it behind your head with deliberate care. His touch was gentle, his fingers brushing against your hair as though the smallest tug might hurt you.
âIs it too tight?â he asked softly, his voice low and cautious.
âNo,â you reassured quickly, wanting to ease the tension you felt in him. âItâs perfect.â
He exhaled a breath you hadnât realized he was holding, then pressed a tender kiss to each of your cheeks before finally claiming your mouth with an intensity that left you dizzy. His hands slid down your sides, firm and grounding, like he wanted you to feel him everywhere all at once.
You smiled against his lips, the blindfold already shifting your world into something sharper, every brush of his hands magnified.
âSee?â you whispered between kisses. âTold you Iâd like it.â
Spencer let out a shaky laugh, the sound vibrating against your mouth. âYouâre not even giving me time to prove myself.â
âYouâve already proven yourself,â you murmured, fingers finding his hair, tugging lightly until he groaned.
You could feel your heartbeat pounding in your ears, excitement coursing through you as Spencer guided you back onto the mattress. You wanted this â wanted to enjoy it. The idea of trying something new hadnât just come out of nowhere. A while back, JJ had confided that she and Will had hit a dry spell, routine wearing them thin until they almost came undone.
Maybe you and Spencer werenât anything like JJ and Will, but the thought had stuck with you. What if you two fell into the same trap? What if the stress, the cases, the exhaustion chipped away at what you had until there was nothing left? Youâd told yourself you wouldnât let that happen â that youâd work on it, keep the spark alive, make sure you didnât break.
So you let him keep kissing down your neck, lower, his lips igniting every nerve in your skin. It did feel good â more than good â but somewhere between the thrill and the unfamiliarity, something shifted.
You couldnât pinpoint the exact moment excitement blurred into anxiety, or when the tension in your body stopped being about anticipation and started being about agitation.
Your fingers were tangled in his hair, tugging the way they always did, only this time it wasnât out of passion â it was grounding, desperate. You wanted to like this, so you let him keep kissing you, his hands almost sliding your bra off. You had already said yes, and it had been so long since youâd been truly close like this, andâ
âYou okay?â he asked suddenly, his voice soft but steady.
Heâd caught it. Of course he had. The way your lips stayed pressed shut, refusing to part for him, betraying the storm in your chest.
Normally, you sighed against his mouth, or let out little hums he cherished, every sound a quiet confirmation of closeness. But now, silence sat heavy between you.
âY-yes⊠just keep going,â you stammered, trying to steady your voice. You didnât want to ruin the night, the mood, or disappoint him.
Spencer paused, his hands still on your waist, eyes searching yours behind the blindfold. âMaybe⊠we should stop,â he murmured, pulling back just slightly, sensing the tension in your body.
âNo, no⊠come on,â you insisted, forcing a smile, your voice a little too eager. âIâm enjoying this. I swear.â
But your chest tightened with every word, a heaviness you couldnât push away. The lie slipped out of necessity â not malice â because you wanted this, needed it, but your body was screaming in quiet panic.
He untied the knot on the blindfold with ease, knowing that if he looked at you now, you wouldnât be able to deny him anything.
The blindfold slipped away, and the first thing you saw was him â eyes soft, worried, and completely focused on you. For a moment, you couldnât speak, couldnât even breathe properly.Â
Spencer leaned in slowly, brushing a loose strand of hair from your face. âHey,â he whispered, voice low and steady. âYouâre okay. Iâve got you.â
You let out a shaky laugh, burying your face in his chest. âI⊠Iâm sorry,â you murmured. âI didnât mean to⊠I didnât want to ruin it.â
âYou didnât ruin anything,â he said firmly, tilting your chin up so your eyes met his.
âBut I have to like this,â you blurted, trying to explain yourself, your voice tight.
Spencer frowned slightly, tilting his head. âYou donât have to like anything. Why do you think that?â he asked, gentle but pointed at the word youâd chosen.
âNo, of course I know that,â you rushed, shaking your head. âItâs just⊠I donât want us to get boring without realizing it. I donât want routine to eat us alive.â
His expression softened instantly. âWell⊠statistically, around 62% of long-term couples worry about âgetting boring,â but the research shows that the majority of them actually build deeper intimacy over time. Desire changes, sure, but it doesnât disappear â not when thereâs trust, not when thereâs us.â He brushed his thumb along your cheek, grounding you. âBoring isnât our problem. Disconnection would be. And weâre not disconnected. Not even close.â
You exhaled slowly, trying to ease the tightness in your chest as your fingers absently played with his silky curls. Numbers might not lie, but somehow you always found yourself believing youâd end up the exception â the one who fell on the wrong side of the statistic.
âIs that why you wanted to try this?â he asked softly, his eyes searching yours.
You hesitated, heat rising in your cheeks. âI mean⊠not entirely,â you admitted, voice low. âBut it sort of came up after I talked to JJ. She mentioned how she and Will went through this dry spell and how it almost pushed them apart andâŠâ You trailed off, embarrassed. âI guess it stuck with me more than I realized.â
Spencer tilted his head, a small, thoughtful smile tugging at his lips. âYou and I are nothing like JJ and Will,â he said softly, brushing a loose curl behind your ear. âNot even close. But⊠I get why it stuck with you. You want to make sure we donât slide into something we donât notice.â
You nodded, fingers still tangled in his hair, heart slowing a little under his steady gaze. âYeah⊠I just donât want us to⊠fade into routine or something.â
âRoutine doesnât scare me,â he murmured, thumb brushing along your cheek. âYou donât scare me. And⊠weâre capable of more than we give ourselves credit for. Nights like this, trust like this⊠it proves that.â
You let out a shaky laugh, pressing your forehead against his. âYou make it sound so⊠simple.â
He chuckled softly, lips brushing yours. âIt isnât simple,â he admitted. âBut itâs worth it. Youâre worth it. And if I have to use statistics, analogies, or bad metaphors to convince you, I will. Every single time.â
The tension in your chest eased further, replaced by warmth, by the undeniable pull of closeness. And for the first time since the panic hit, you let yourself believe it â just for a moment â that it really could be safe to feel, to trust, to be with him.
You felt a little ridiculous â sitting there in just your panties and an undone bra after nearly having a breakdown â yet the skin-to-skin warmth pressed against you was something you would never trade for anything in the world.
âIâm sorry for⊠ruining the mood,â you murmured, letting your head fall back against the pillows, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
âWho said anything about ruining anything?â Spencer replied, lifting both of you carefully and turning so his back rested against the headboard, with you straddling him, giving you all the room in the world to not feel encaged by him.Â
âOh, come on,â you laughed nervously. âI doubt you want anything after that.â
âAll I know is,â he said, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder as his hands adjusted your bra again, âwe still have some wine.â He nuzzled your neck, the kiss gentle, almost a caress. âAnd I brought you dark chocolate from Chicago. Plus,â he murmured, voice low and teasing, âthereâs this article Iâve been dying to tell you about.â
You shivered at the mixture of warmth, softness, and playful intimacy. Even after the panic, even after everything, Spencer had this effortless way of grounding you while keeping the connection electric.
You grinned, leaning down to press a quick kiss to his jaw. âChocolate and articles, huh? You really know how to woo me.â
Spencer laughed softly, eyes twinkling. âWhat can I say? Iâm full of surprises.â
âAnd wine,â you reminded him, teasing.
âNever underestimate the power of a good malbec,â he replied, lips brushing the shell of your ear.
You both laughed, the tension of earlier completely dissolved, leaving only warmth, teasing touches, and the easy, electric closeness that had defined your night. For now, nothing else mattered â just the two of you, the wine, the chocolate, and that perfect mix of comfort and playful desire that always seemed to find its way back.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
tag list: @arialikestea @hellsingalucard18 @pleasantwitchgarden @torturedpoetspsychward @cultish-corner @nymph0puppp @l-a-u-r-aaa @cherrygublersworld @theoceanandthestars @i-need-to-be-put-down @alyeskathewave @kore-of-the-underworld @daisy-the-quake
WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THE DEPRESSED READER FIC HAD THE SUMMARY OF THE NSFW FIC I WROTE???? im going to dword
Unlovable Sickness
Hello lovely! (iâm not sure how to repost things/if i did it right so, sorry if you already saw this) I honestly have no words for how this made me feel. When I saw that you had written my request, I knew it would be amazing, cause thatâs just the writer that you are. But I never could of expected this to hit me THIS HARD. I felt like this was made for me word. by. word.Â
âBecause youâd stopped thinking clearly and started acting on the noise.â
âThe noiseâ describes it perfectly.Â
âYou felt guilty. You always did. Guilty for being such an inconvenience.
For needing him to sit behind you like a sentry while you disassociated in warm water.â
This is how I feel every. second. of. every. day.Â
âThat something so simpleâso mundaneâwould become a reason to unravel.â
I tend to unravel easily, I never quite thought of it like this.Â
 âI know these are all pretty words that donât get into your head. That bounce right off the part of you that believes youâre unlovable.â
⊠howâd you know I feel unlovable?!
I know this is a long rant, but I just wanted you to know how much this means to me. Seriously, I will never be able to express to you how perfect and truly beautiful this is to me. Let alone it being my half assed request this masterpiece came from.Â
Have an amazing life lovely âïžđȘ
hii i barely know how to use tumblr so dw. your words are so beautiful thank you â€ïž. i know it's been a while since you sent the request so i thought whoever sent it already forgot about it lol. im so happy it brought you comfort about your feelings and i really hope you're getting the professional help you might need over this self destructive thoughts you're having.
i tried to not get super academic about how depression looks like and also add what i felt when i was going through a depressive episode. what helped me the most was my therapist. and if can't get access to one (bc it's a universal privilege :/) i hope you have people who you can rely on and make you feel safe đ«¶đ»
you are more than valid. feeling unlovable doesn't translate as being unlovable. if you ever feel the need to talk to someone im here for you â€ïž
(also srry for replying late i was hyper focused on a embroidery project lol)
Unlovable sickness
Summary: in which spencer stays and takes care of you from your worst enemy, your mind. Pairing: Spencer Reid x depressed!reader (not necessarily lawyer!reader but yeah it's her) Genre: hurt/comfort WC: 2.1k! TW: talks about sh, depression, casual nudity A/N: please read with caution, depression can look several different ways!, thank u for the request IM SO STUPID I JUST NOTICED THE SUMMARY WAS WRONG SORRY Masterlist (it's not necessary to read the first 4 chapters!)
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
You sank into the bath, bubbles perfumed with sandalwood and citrus clinging to your skin, the scent doing little to soften the relentless flood of thoughts crashing through your head. You tried to line them up, contain them somehow, but they never stopped. Never slowed.
Spencer sat down behind you in the border of the tub without asking.
Not out of routine, but out of fear.
Because his thoughts werenât paranoid. Because youâd done dangerous things before when he wasnât looking. Because youâd stopped thinking clearly and started acting on the noise.
He was scared you might crank the hot water until it scalded your skin. Or let your fingers drift too close to the candle youâd lit under the excuse of trying to relax. Or scrub at your arms until the skin was raw and furious. Again.
Because Spencer Reid, who knew every corner of your mind and every dark hallway you tried to lock up, understood that sometimes the only thing you could seek when your brain betrayed you⊠was pain.
And he hated that he understood that.
You felt guilty. You always did. Guilty for being such an inconvenience. For needing him to sit behind you like a sentry while you disassociated in warm water. For the way his hands moved with silent purpose, kneading the tightness out of your back, the sponge in his palm soft and patient against your shoulder blades.
Every gentle touch was a reminder of how deeply he loved you, and how powerless love felt when your own mind turned violent against you.
âwork today?â he asked quietly, already knowing the answer.
But he asked anyway. Because heâd rather hear you scream than say nothing at all. Because silence was the thing that scared him most.
You didnât answer right away.
The words got stuck somewhere between your lungs and your teeth, and instead of speaking, you let your head fall forward, tears slipping down your face before you even noticed them.
He had read countless studies on high-functioning depressive episodes. He could recite them from memoryâstatistics, symptoms, even emerging treatmentsâand still, it never felt like enough. Not when you were slipping through his fingers in real time. Not when all that knowledge just sat there in his chest, inert and useless, while you drowned in plain sight.
Heâd suggestedâgently, then not so gentlyâthat you take a temporary leave. Time off. Just a few weeks to breathe.
You had shut him down immediately.
Because âwork makes me feel normal.â
He suspected it was more about control than comfort. That courtroom confidence, that fire in your eyes when you argued a motionâit was the only space where your mind couldnât betray you. In front of a jury, you could pretend the shadows didnât follow you home. You could keep the mask on a little longer.
He didnât push after that. Not because he agreedâbut because he knew what it felt like to need control more than comfort. He had lived there once, too. And maybe still did.
But watching you nowâbarely holding it together behind your perfectly sharpened eyeliner and ironed blazersâhe wasnât sure how long âfunctioningâ could keep disguising the âdepressedâ part.
He finished rinsing the last suds from your shoulder, fingers gentle as they traced over the outline of your clavicle, the water now lukewarm and your skin wrinkled from how long youâd stayed in. Without a word, he reached for the softest towel he could findâthe one heâd bought months ago after reading a journal article that claimed sensory comfort could help with depressive episodes.
He guided you out of the bathroom with the same tenderness one might use with an injured birdâslow, silent, no sudden movements. You didnât resist when he sat you down in front of the vanity. You couldnât muster the energy to resist anything tonight.
Without a word, Spencer reached for the hairbrush before you could. You lifted a hand, instinctively.
âI can do it,â you muttered, your voice flat and unfamiliar in your own throat.
âI know you can,â he replied softly, brushing a strand of wet hair from your face. âBut I like doing it.â
It was half the truth.
The other half was the fear youâd yank the brush in frustration, pull too hard on your scalp until your skin stung. That youâd dig your nails into your scalp the way you sometimes did when the thoughts got too loud. That something so simpleâso mundaneâwould become a reason to unravel.
So he did it for you.
Each stroke of the brush was slow, careful, following the rhythm of your breath. You stared at your reflection in the mirrorâblank eyes, damp lashes, skin pale beneath the warm towel. You looked like someone else. Someone broken in places even you couldnât reach anymore.
You felt like a doll. But not the kind little girls dreamed of being. Not porcelain or precious.
Just something that needed to be taken care of. Constant maintenance. Fragile in all the wrong ways. A responsibility, not a person. A ticking clock of disaster that couldnât be left alone for fear of self-destruction. Even your death, you thought bitterly, would be a burden to someone else.
And he was a liar. A liar for lying to you about not being a burden. A liar for saying he loved you. A liar for pretending to like take care of.Â
You turned abruptly, reaching for the brush with too much forceâboth hands clamped down like yanking it from him could prove something. That you were still functional. That you werenât a doll. That you didnât need to be managed or handled like something fragile.
But maybe because he was smarter. Or maybe because heâd seen the micro-expression on your face a second before you even moved. Or maybe because he knew youâdown to the exact rhythm of your panicâ
He stopped you.
Spencerâs hand clenched around the brush, holding it just firmly enough to keep it from slipping out of his grasp, and his other hand reached for your wristsâgentle but fastâfingers curling around them in one practiced movement.
âI said I can do it!â you bit out, eyes shining with unshed tears, almost tussling to get to the damn brush.
Your fingers clashed with his, frantic and shaking. It wasnât about the brush. Not really. It was about control. Dignity. Provingâif not to him, then to yourselfâthat you werenât completely lost.
He threw the brush somewhere out of reach, then quickly grabbed each of your wrists in his hands. He wishedâmore than anythingâthat he could shake some sense into you, if only it were possible.
His fingers tightenedânot to hurt, never to hurtâbut just enough to still your trembling hands, to anchor you from the edge he could feel you sliding toward, even as you fought him with useless resistance.
You pushed against him, half-hearted and wild-eyed, breath sharp and uneven.
âJustâlet meââ you gasped, but the sentence cracked apart before you could finish it.
Let you what?
Let you hurt yourself? Let you scream? Let you get to the brush like it could somehow untangle the knots in your mind? Let you have one second of control, even if it came at your own expense?
He didnât know.
You didnât either.
âStop it,â Spencer snappedânot loud, but with an edge. Not angry. Just terrified.
There was a shake in his voice, like he was teetering on the edgeâsomewhere between begging and breaking.
âI know youâre going through something,â he said, breath catching halfway through. âAnd I promised Iâd be here for you.â
His eyes searched yoursâdesperate, exhausted, pleading.
âBut justââ he paused, jaw tightening, the words fighting their way up through his throat like they were splintered glass. He swallowed hard, getting to your eye level and resting your hands on his forehead.
âI love you,â he said, finally looking you in the eyes. And it wasnât softâit was clear. Like he needed you to hear it without question. âI truly do. Nothing that has to do with you will ever be a burden to me.â
You opened your mouth, maybe to argue, maybe to cryâbut he kept going, not with force, but with insistence.
âAnd if I have to repeat myself a hundred times, I will. Iâll say it a thousand if thatâs what it takes. Every damn day if I need to.â
Your lip trembled, and he saw itâthat flicker of guilt, or maybe recognition, or maybe just pain that had nowhere else to go.
âI know,â he said softly, thumb brushing beneath your eye again. âI know these are all pretty words that donât get into your head. That bounce right off the part of you that believes youâre unlovable.â
His voice cracked, and he let out a breath through his nose, trying to steady it. Because he had to be strong for both of you. Because you would do the same for him.Â
âAnd I know you love me too, despite not saying it in a long time.â
His words were calm, steadyâbut the weight behind them pressed against your ribs.
You blinked. Had it really been that long?
You hadnât realized. You didnât remember much these daysâdays bled into nights, and weeks stacked like forgotten papers on your desk. You remembered to do tasks. You remembered deadlines. You remembered how much your knees hurt in the morning and how the mirror made you flinch. But you didnât remember when you last told him you loved him.
And that realization landed hard in your chest.
Your eyes dropped to his hands still wrapped gently around your wrists. His fingers were so careful. Always careful.
That cracked something open inside you. So sharply, so suddenly, that a sob erupted from your lips before you could stop it.
He let go of your wrists instantly, arms circling around you without hesitation, drawing you in. Your face buried itself into the crook of his neck, and you gripped the fabric of his shirt like it could hold you together. His hand cradled the back of your head, the other wrapped firmly around your back, grounding you while your tears soaked through his clothes.
âI donât like being like this,â you choked out between sobs. âI do love you, I promise. I donât know whatâs wrong with me, but Iââ
âShh,â he murmured against your temple. âNothing is wrong with you.â
You cried harder, like the words hit a place inside you that hadnât been touched in years.
âYouâre struggling. That doesnât make you broken, it makes you human,â he whispered, his voice low and steady, even as his own eyes welled. âAnd Iâm not going anywhere. No matter what version of you wakes up in the morning. I love all of you.â
You clung to him like he was the only tether left between you and the void. Because in many ways, he was. Your fingers fisted the fabric of his shirt, desperate, terrifiedânot of him, but of yourself. Of what more damage the darkness curling inside you could still do. What it could make you say. What it could make you stop feeling.
He didnât move, didnât flinch. One arm wrapped firmly around your back, the other cradled the nape of your neck, fingertips threading through damp strands of your hair with gentle insistence.
âYouâll get better,â he whispered, and there wasnât a single crack in itâjust quiet, absolute certainty. âIt will take time. And effort. And probably more bad days than either of us want.â
You squeezed your eyes shut, almost bracing for the but that usually followed.
But it never came.
âIâll be here,â he continued, pressing his lips to your temple, voice steady, grounding.
When you finally calmed down, Spencer gently finished brushing your hair, his movements slow and careful like he was threading peace back into every strand. He helped you slip into your softest pajamasâloose, comforting fabric that wouldnât irritate your sensitive skin.
Then he handed you a small glass of water and a soft, weighted blanket. One of those designed with deep-pressure therapy in mind. A little ridiculous, maybe, but there was research behind it. Weighted stimulation had been shown to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing cortisol levels and helping with emotional regulation. Heâd read three papers on it before buying the damn thing.
He would never stop fighting for you to be you againâ not just the version the world saw, but the one buried beneath all the pain and silence. Because to him, you were worth every battle, every sleepless night, every whispered promise.
And no matter how long it took, he would be thereâsteadfast, unwaveringâholding the line until you found your way back to yourself.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
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Hello lovely, if your taking requests, may i request depressed reader x spencer reid. like hurt comfort, spencer comforting reader whoâs having a hard time. (maybe sh but only if your comfortable with writing that)
Have a great day! âïžđȘ
hi! i basically obliged myself to write something and not doom scroll all day after passing all my finals lol. im posting your request tomorrow. i hope it's what you wanted or imagined. i think i went on a tangent about the comforting lol.
as a psychology student i want to clarify diagnosis is a privilege given by capitalism (don't make me elaborate bc i'll bore you) and it's also something you can not diagnose yourself with. It's important to understand that having depressive episodes is normal as long as they don't last longer than around 2 weeks!
i did include sh, it's not the typical depressed!reader who rots in bed bc that's also a stereotype and a privilege.
i do not want to offend anyone by all this. i believe information and knowledge is power. and depression gets way too romanticized.
thank you for your request. it made me want to write again â€ïž.
Moral and Ethics.
Summary: if you had the chance to punish a monster and get away with it the same way they did, would you do it? would you feel guilty or maybe even enjoy it? Pairing: lawyer!reader Genre: suspense? idk how to categorize this READ A/N WC: 800! TW: murder, blood, reader as unsub? torture if u squint, female rage! A/N: this is placed inside lawyer!reader's mind, she's a morally grey characther and if u're not comfortable with that is okay, this is me verbalizing and taking to the extreme what every woman has ever felt once in their life, SPENCER APPEARS ONLY SLIGHTLY AT THE END, this is fiction and i like to have fun with it and the characther i built. if u want to know more about reader's past you can find out here
please read it while listening to this song!
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
You were dreaming. That much was obvious.
The scene and the characters might change depending on your day, but never what happened. Always the same place: the top of a staircase leading down into a humid basement. You never felt fear or hesitation. Sometimes, you even rested your hand on the railing like you enjoyed the sound of someone straining against their restraints.
There was always music playing in the backgroundâsomething moody and danceable. This time, it was Thatâs Life by Frank Sinatra. You pulled the chain hanging from the ceiling, lighting the bulb. And just like always, you were faced with a pair of eyes.
Eyes meant to be seen. Eyes meant to be enjoyedâfor their fear. If they even felt it.Â
Sometimes they were black. Sometimes crystal blue. Sometimes green. Most of them deadânot dead like corpses, but dead like something twisted and hollow inside. And you were always glad there were no mirrors in this dream. Seeing those eyes reflected in your own would be the end of you.
Anyway, tonight, the eyes belonged to a man you had prosecuted two weeks ago. Heâd walked away from the chargesâmurder and rape of three children.
He had even winked at you when the judge read the verdict.
All because the only witness you had was an undocumented immigrantâsomeone who had wished you luck with all the sincerity in the world, but couldnât afford to help. Not when speaking up could cost her everything.
Something that changed from dream to dream was the weapon.
Sometimes it was a gunâclean, distant, and too quick. Sometimes a bat, which felt clichĂ©, but you welcomed it anyway. Youâd gone through all of them, really: a hammer, cold and heavy; a tire iron, a kitchen knife. Once, it was a length of barbed wire, wrapped around your wrist like a ribbon. Another time, a fireplace poker, glowing faintly at the tip. Youâd used a pair of pliers. A crowbar. A wrench. A meat tenderizer. A belt. A broken bottle. A screwdriver. A corkscrew.Â
You picked the weapon on duty up from the workbench with the casual grace of always. The music swelled againâSinatraâs voice looping back as if the record were scratched: âThat's life, that's what all the people say...â
Do you need more details about what happened during the dream?
Well, if you really want to knowâsometimes there was a little dialogue. Conversations not meant to be remembered word for word, but heavy with meaning. About how fascinating it was to test the edges of your own morality. To push until the idea of guilt felt like something distant, almost fictional.
How far could you go without feeling ashamed? Without feeling any guilt at all?
Maybe it was because you knew it was a dream. Thatâs what kept you from crossing a certain line. Or maybe it was because they were always the same type of manârapists, abusers, pedophiles, molesters, traffickers, predators, monsters.Â
Sure, justice with your own hands wasnât justice at all. But the swing of your arm, the impact against flesh, and the splash of blood on your clothesâit all felt like justice.
The moans of pain and cries for mercy always came. They never stopped you. Sometimes your hands looked like they belonged to your childhood self, small and trembling. Other times, the faces you struck shifted endlesslyâreplaced over and over by ghosts from your past.Â
Eventually, you stoppedâexhausted, breath ragged, your hands crimson red, some of the blood soaking into your clothes, sometimes more than others. You wiped the thin layer of sweat from your forehead as Sinatraâs voice floated through the room. âMany times I thought of cutting out, but my heart won't buy itâ
The man in front of you was nothing but agonizing, bloody, unrecognizable pulpâone blow away from death. With a final swing, just before your weapon connected, you woke up softly.
Spencer shook you gently. âGet up, heavy dreamer. Youâre already ten minutes behind.â
He kissed your forehead as you groaned, stretching slowly, waking beside the man who always pulled you back from the edge.
âHow did you sleep?â he asked, adjusting his purple tie.
âGood,â you said with a loose smile. Youâd never told him about the dreamâand doubted you ever would. But every time you dreamed it, it was a good night of sleep.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
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Heartbeat.
Summary: Spencer Reid shows love in all the ways he knows howâwhether it's making sure his gf eats well or eating her out like it's the most natural way to worship her. Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader (not necessarily lawyer!reader but yeah it's her) Genre: smut/NSFW (i know. me? so weird) WC: 2.1k! TW: fingering, oral (f receiving), AFTERCARE!! A/N: im alive :p and this is what happens when me and my gf dont have sex in 2 weeks lol. minors do not interact! Masterlist (it's not necessary to read the first 4 chapters!)
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
You let out a frustrated huff, glaring at the endless stack of case files, briefs, and annotated court decisions scattered across your desk. Legal jargon, precedent, motionsâyouâd spent the whole afternoon parsing through it all, mentally preparing for the courtroom battles ahead.
It was only Wednesday, and the week already felt endless.
With a sigh, you dropped your head to the desk, forehead meeting wood with a soft thud in your shared apartmentâs quiet study. You didnât even flinch when you heard Spencerâs footsteps behind you.
His hands came to rest gently on your shoulders. âCome on,â he said softly, thumbs beginning to knead the tension in your muscles. âYou should take a break⊠or call it for the day and eat something. Youâve been at this for hours.â
You didnât lift your head, but you leaned back into his touch with a quiet groan, letting him work the stress from your neck and shoulders.
âI canât,â you mumbled into the desk. âI have three pre-trial motions, one defense strategy to dismantle, and a prosecutor who thinks citing Latin makes him clever.â
Spencer huffed a small laugh, his fingers expertly working over the tight muscles in your shoulders. âFiat voluntas tuaâlet it be your will,â he murmured near your ear, the Latin smooth and affectionate on his tongue.
You barely registered the kiss he pressed to the side of your neck, but you did feel the warmth of his hands as they slipped lower, gently untucking your shirt from the waistband of your slacks with quiet precision. The kind of slow, deliberate movement that said he wasnât rushingâhe was inviting.
âCome on,â he whispered, lips brushing the shell of your ear, âlet me help you relax.â
Your breath hitched, and for a moment you hesitated. The weight of the day still lingered in your mindâbut his voice, his hands, the warmth of his body close behind yours⊠it was so easy to melt into it.
He felt your body begin to soften beneath his touch, the tension bleeding away as your shoulders lowered, your breath deepened. He knew heâd convinced youânot with pressure, but with patience.
Spencer gently helped you rise from the chair, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek as his hands found the first button of your blouse. You didnât stop him. Instead, you let him walk you slowly back toward the bedroom, one step at a time, his fingers working open the buttons with a kind of reverence. He took his time, eyes flicking up to yours between each one.
Your legs bumped the edge of the bed and you sat with a quiet exhale, letting yourself surrender to the moment. He knelt in front of you without a word, a quiet offering of himself, and leaned in to kiss along your stomach as he helped slide the shirt from your shoulders. You moved in tandem, undoing your pants, lifting your hips to slide them off with his help.
He was still in his slacks and dress shirtâno tie, sleeves rolled to the elbowsâbut he hadnât made a move to undress. This wasnât about him. This was about giving you space to breathe. To let go. To be taken care of.
Spencer pressed another kiss to your inner thigh, his hands steady on your hips. âLie back,â he murmured, voice velvet-soft. âLet me take it from here.â
Spencer reached for a pillow, his touch gentle as he slipped it beneath your hips, easing the familiar ache that often settled in your lower back after long hours at your desk. His fingers hooking into your panties and sliding them down with care, kissing a slow, reverent path along your thighs as he did. Each kiss was soft, warm, almost worshipfulâlike he was reminding you how deeply he adored every inch of you.
Once you were bare, he moved back up, the heat of his body hovering over yours as he kissed you fully, deeply. His mouth moved with purpose, tongue slipping past your lips to meet yours. There was no rushâjust the steady, grounding rhythm of him.
As his mouth explored yours, his fingers found the last item still clinging to your skinâyour braâand he unhooked it with ease, sliding the straps down your arms with a touch so careful it felt like a promise.
He pulled back just enough to look at you, his gaze soft but burning with focus, with care, with want. His fingertips brushed down your side âYou okay?â he whispered, voice husky but patient.
You nodded. âYeah,â you said softly, knowing he liked hearing the words. Spencer gave you a small smile before dipping his head, returning to the trail of kisses heâd started earlier. His mouth found the curve of your neck, warm and deliberate, moving slowly down to your chest.
He took one nipple into his mouth, his tongue flicking gently over it before sucking, drawing a soft gasp from your lips. His free hand cupped your other breast, thumb and forefinger teasing the nipple with practiced, tender precision. You hummed in response, pleasure curling in your stomach as the steady rhythm of his mouth and hands grounded you.
He gave both of your breasts equal attention, switching between them until they were perfectly perked, glistening faintly in the soft light of the bedroom from his mouth. The sight made something flutter deep inside youâhow focused he was, how thoroughly he worshipped every inch of you.
Once satisfied, he kissed his way down your body, slow and deliberateâalong your sternum, across your stomach, pausing just above your navel to savor the way your skin trembled under his lips.
He adjusted his position, settling in deeper between your thighs, looping them over his shoulders like it was second nature. His hands gripped your hips just enough to anchor you.
Then he leaned inâhis tongue pressing flat against your pussy, collecting the slickness there and spreading it with slow, purposeful strokes. The warmth of him sent a pulse through your core, each pass of his tongue both soothing and electric.
He liked taking his time with you â licking and sucking slowly at your clit, his tongue teasing between your folds with deliberate care. The way your thighs gradually relaxed, your fingers threading softly through his hair, told him everything he needed to know. He felt the weight of your legs draped over his shoulders, the warmth of your skin against his cheeks as he moved with purpose, circling his tongue with gentle precision.
You werenât the type to moan â not loudly, not for show. Instead, you gasped, breath hitching in your throat, soft huffs slipping out as your fingers combed slowly through his hair. There was something grounding about the way he ate you out â like he wasnât just chasing your pleasure, but studying it, learning you.
Maybe it was the warmth of his tongue, the way it moved with purpose. Or the wet, open-mouthed kisses he left on the insides of your thighs, patient and steady. Whatever it was, it made your body soften beneath him, made the tight coil of tension you always carried begin to unravel. With him between your legs, everything else quieted.
His mouth closed over your clit, kissing and sucking with slow precision as one hand slid back upward, finding your breast. He cupped it gently, his fingers teasing the hardened nipple beneath his touch, drawing a sharp gasp from your throat.
There was something deeply satisfying about going down on you â not just for the physical reaction, but for what it meant. It wasnât instinct or biology driving him. There was nothing reproductive about it. Having his mouth buried in your wetness felt intimate, intentional â almost sacred. A quiet act of trust that he didnât take for granted, not for a second.
He loved sucking on your clit until it was puffy and swollen, flushed red from the attention. Every nerve ending â all 8,000 of them â was his to activate, to light up one by one until pleasure rippled through you like a current he was controlling with care.
âSpence,â you gasped, eyes squeezed shut, voice barely more than breath.
He answered by squeezing your thigh, grounding you, his mouth never leaving you. His tongue circled your entrance with slow, deliberate strokes, and the bridge of his nose brushed your clit with every movement.Â
Your hands tangled deliciously in his hair, pulling gently as the pleasure built inside you. His hand remained on your breast, teasing your nipple with slow, deliberate strokes that added to the growing heat. The pillow beneath your hips eased the tension in your back, giving him perfect access as he flicked his tongue over and over.
His rhythm was steady and unrelenting, driving your thighs to press instinctively against his head. The sound of his own heartbeat pounding in his ears, almost drowning out your breathy moans, was pure heaven for Spencer. His free hand spread your folds wide, fingers exploring your entrance with tender insistence.
Wet noises and soft, ragged moans filled the bedroom, wrapping around you like a warm, intoxicating cocoon.
âDonât stoâp,â you moaned, your voice trembling as the knot in your stomach tightened. One of his fingers slid inside you slowly, curling upward toward that spongy spot Spencer knew so well.
He felt your body tense, your legs trembling slightly as he added another finger, moving with steady precision. His tongue flicked pointedly over your clit, circling with deliberate intent.
As you neared the peak of your pleasure, waves crashing through you one after another, both your hands gripped Spencer firmly against your core. His tongue never faltered, keeping its steady rhythm as you rode out your release.
Maybe you started grinding against his face at some point, riding the waves of pleasure washing through your body â that delicious, liberating tension gathered in your stomach and spilling over.
His thumb traced slow circles on your thigh as his tongue continued to taste you softly, flattening against you with tender persistence. His fingers pumped slowly, caressing the sides of your body, steadying you as you rode out your orgasm.
When the waves began to subside, he eased back gently, planting soft kisses along your thighsâslowly moving down, almost reaching your knees as he settled back onto his m, eyes searching your face for the quiet relief and love he saw reflected there.
âBetter?â he asked softly, careful not to disturb the quiet stillness that lingered in the room.
You hummed in response, a lazy smile tugging at your lips. Your hand reached for his cheek, brushing it gently. He leaned into the touch, kissing the inside of your palm before slowly rising from the bed.
You reached for his pillow, nuzzling your face into it. His scentâwarm, familiar, his shampoo and something uniquely himâwrapped around you like a blanket.
In the distance, you heard the faucet running as he rinsed his hands and mouth, then wet a towel with warm water. A few moments later, his quiet footsteps returned, and you felt the gentle touch of his fingertips on your arm as he opened your handâthe one youâd used to hold himâand wiped it clean with care.
âCan I?â he whispered in your ear, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head.
You nodded without opening your eyes.
His hand moved slowly between your legs, gentle and respectful. He liked taking care of youânot just before or during, but after. Especially after. He knew how much you hated the feeling of being sticky, and this small gesture was one of many ways he showed you he was paying attention.
When he was done, he folded the towel neatly and set it on the nightstand, the silence between you both tender, as you abandoned the pillow to hug him, laying over his chest.Â
His hand drifted slowly down your spine, fingers tracing each vertebra with quiet intentâS1, L5, L4âcounting them silently like a litany. A methodical ritual, grounding him. He continued upward, naming each one in his mind until he reached the delicate curve at the base of your neckâC1.
He paused there, fingertips resting against your pulse point. Your heartbeat thudded gently beneath his touch, still slowing from the high. He counted the beats, calculating your heart rateâjust a little elevated, but still within normal post-orgasmic range. Around 92 bpm, he estimated.
Spencer exhaled slowly, his thumb brushing over the nape of your neck, where skin met spine. He wasnât sure if he was studying you or holding on to youâbut maybe they were the same thing.
His mind recorded everythingâthe rhythm of your breath, the warmth of your skin, the subtle shift of your shoulder blade beneath his palm. At the end of the day, every sound, every word, every scientific detail got etched into his memory like ink on paper. But his skin would always crave yours.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
Feedback feeds motivation! Likes, reblogs and comments are all appreciated <3
tag list: @arialikestea @hellsingalucard18 @pleasantwitchgarden @torturedpoetspsychward @cultish-corner @nymph0puppp @l-a-u-r-aaa @cherrygublersworld @theoceanandthestars @i-need-to-be-put-down @alyeskathewave @kore-of-the-underworld
Your spencer reid x lawyer!reader is one of the BEST works I've seen in the fandom, I'm sooo excited to see how it will turn out! I love the way you write all of the characters in such an organic way, it feels like watching an episode of the series. All the dinamics are flawless and I love the interactions between Woody and the others, specially Morgan. You are an excellent writer, we get really absorbed in the scenes with all the feelings and descriptions without it being too much
Really, congratulations. Can't wait to read more of it đ€
THANK YOU DEAR i really love to imagine how the show would be like if woody was a canon character and i always try to make what i write as close to the original show as possible. maybe that's why every fic i post it's unnecessary long lol.
whatsoever thank you for your words. i am writing more about woody and spencer that i'll lost when it's done đ«¶đ»
gurl are you still alive?! đ
very alive and with new ideas! i just finished my midterms this past Friday, im pretty tired but i'll start drafting the new ideas for lawyer!reader x spencer reid. thank you for the concern đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»
Exceptional
Summary: what happens when spencer hears the rumors about your teenage years? what happens when some of those rumors are true?. Pairing: Spencer Reid x lawyer!reader Genre: hurt/comfort and fluff at the end! wc: 5.5k! TW: burning wounds, bullying, misogyny/patriarchal behavior, violent and impulsive behavior. not proofread yet. A/N: in the middle of writting this i realized it's very based on "the archer" and "the man" by Taylor Swift Masterlist! (it's not necessary to read the first 4 chapters!)
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
If we're talking about anecdotes from your teenage years, wellâthereâs not much to tell. Just the totally mundane story of an angry, emotionally volatile teenager with too much brainpower who somehow bulldozed her way into Harvard Law. No big deal.
JJ had great stories about high schoolâbeing the captain of her football team, those wholesome, small-town moments straight out of a coming-of-age movie. Emily had the wildest storiesâtraveling the world, the chaos of never staying in one place, and even the ones that made you feel something, like how badly she just wanted to fit in.
It started with the urgent case the BAU was handedâstudents linked to an elite Harvard secret society were disappearing, their bodies found staged in ritualistic ways. As the case unfolded, Spencer turned to you, his voice a little more cautious than usual.
âDo you know anything about some Seraphic Circle?â
You didnât need to think. Youâd heard plenty about them. Too much, really. "Iâve heard of them," you said, your tone dripping with disdain and rolling your eyes. âRich kids with too much money and power. Half of them donât even deserve to be there, but their families pay for their spot.â
You were reluctant towards accepting going with them to Massachusetts, too much memories and teh constant fear someone might recognize you and call you out for past decisions that maybe weren't the best. Maybe they were worse than you wanted to confess and might even scare Spencer away.Â
Still, he had asked you to accompany them. âDo you think they will remember you?â
âNah⊠i donât think so, they have tons of law students per year soâŠâ maybe your words were right, but the higher thn usual pitch on your tone gave you away to spencer, that only he was able to detect, of how you werenât saying all the true
Long story short, that's how you end up where you are right now, walking behind de BAU towards the Dean of Harvard office, with Spencer by your side.Â
You reach the office just as Hotch shakes the deanâs hand, introducing each member of the team. âSSA Jareau, SSA Morgan, and Dr. Reid,â he says, gesturing to each of them in turn. âWe also broughtââ
âWoodvale.â
The deanâs voice cuts through the room the moment his eyes land on you, recognition flickering across his face. Not even a hundred years would be enough to erase your name from his memory. He didn't like you back then.Â
An almost cynical, carefully polite smile curves your lips as you extend your hand. âDean Langford.â
He grips your hand firmly, his expression unreadable. âSeems like youâve come a long way from that time your burned one of my studentsâ
The atmosphere in the room shifts instantly, tension crackling like a live wire. But you donât let it show, ignoring how he didnât consider you a proper student. Instead, your voice remains cool, measured.
âThose accusations were debunked after no evidence was found,â you say smoothly. âUnlike the very real recordings and witness statements I had of that same student sayingââ you pause, tilting your head slightly, your smile sharpening, âwomen became hysterical when it came to sexual crimes.ââ
Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Emily and JJ smirking, while Langfordâs expression hardens.
The dean's smile barely falters. So, he does remember you. Not surprisingâback then, you were even more impulsive than you are now. And that says a lot.Â
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
Donât ask how, but somehow Garcia had dug up records that gave the team a list of names tied to the so-called âsecret society.â Ironically, when the BAU interviewed students about it, everyone seemed to know what it wasâjust not anything useful.
âThey sacrifice animals.â âA bunch of douchebags with too much money.â âThey run everything. If youâre one of them, youâre untouchable.â
âDo any of the names look familiar?â Rossi asked, sliding the list toward you.
You scanned it, then shook your head. âOnly the last names. But thatâs not surprisingâmost of them come from old money.â
Garcia had also uncovered some interesting financial records. One name stood out: Andrew Carrington, former lawyer at his familyâs prestigious Massachusetts firm. A-class dickhead.
âHeâs got buildings in the city,â Garcia said, displaying files on the computer. âBut his familyâs the real powerâdeep pockets, old money. There are even a couple of campus buildings with their name on them.â
Rossi raised a brow. âLegacy admission?â
âMore like a blank check.â You leaned back. âEveryone knew he bought his way in.â
âAny possibility heâs involved?â Hotch asked.
You considered it for a moment before shaking your head. âI donât think so. Back then, this club was his pride. These murders? They only drag its prestige through the mud.â
âSo⊠this Seraphic Circle thing,â Emily said, tilting her head. âWere you ever part of it?â
The police station buzzed around you, a low hum of voices and ringing phones, but your focus was on the files in front of you. Spencer sat beside you, skimming through pages with his usual quiet intensity. Neither of you was big on PDAâno hand-holding, no lingering touches in front of the teamâbut subtlety was an art you both had mastered. Your elbows brushed as you shifted in your seat, his knee resting against yours, the quiet pressure grounding.
âNot really,â you answered finally. âThey claimed you had to have a big name in law, but what they really meant was that you had to be richâand if you were a man? Even better.â
Morgan flipped through a file. âBut you do know this Carrington guy.â
Before you could answer, Spencerâs fingers brushed against the side of your kneeâa light touch so subtle no one else would notice. A quiet signal. Heâd felt your tension the moment Morgan had mentioned Carrington.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. âYeah⊠It was hard not to know someone like him. Heâs got that whole âking of the schoolâ vibe, but honestly, heâs not capable of something like this.â You spoke nonchalantly, but your voice betrayed a hint of discomfort.
The team shifted focus to the next lead, moving on to analyze the unsubâs possible personality traits. After a few more exchanges, the decision was made to call Carrington in for questioning tomorrowâthere was no use doing it this late. The discussion had settled, but Spencerâs fingers brushed against your knee again, just enough for you to catch it. He was still attuned to your every movement, a silent understanding between the two of you.
After that, Hotch made the call for everyone to get some rest. One by one, the team decided to call it a night, heading out to their respective rooms. You and Spencer lingered behind, both of you wrapping up the last of your thoughts on the case.
Spencer was the one to break the silence. He looked around the station, then at you. His eyes softened for a moment before he spoke. âEnough for tonight. Letâs get some sleep.â
You nodded, thankful for the break. As Spencer found your coat, you dropped the files onto the nearest table. You stood still as he slid the coat onto your shoulders, the fabric brushing against your skin. As he did, you both made the mistake of letting your hands touchâjust a fleeting brushâbut it sent a warmth through your chest.
The walk to the motel was calm, with the quiet night air wrapping around you both. Spencer felt a strange mixture of calm and anticipation swirling in his chest, emotions he didnât usually indulge. It wasnât something he had the vocabulary for, not in his usual clinical sense. For once, there wasnât a need for facts or equations to understand the feeling that settled inside him.
His fingers, almost absent-mindedly, curled into yours. It was a subtle movement, but the softness of it caught him by surprise. His thumb traced small, slow circles over the back of your hand, a tender rhythm he couldnât quite explain. For someone who usually lived in the world of patterns and logic, this was unfamiliar territory. But the simple touch, the way your fingers fit together so naturallyâit felt right.
In a world where everything was either solvable or predictable, this felt like the exception. There was no analysis needed. No need to question why it felt so much like a moment he wanted to hold onto. Maybe it was the quiet between you two, or the way everything around you seemed to fade as his thumb ran over your hand. All Spencer knew was that in that moment, nothing else mattered.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
The next morning, Hotch had sent Morgan and Prentiss off to speak with students on the campus, while he and Rossi took over the interrogation. The room felt different now, quieterâlike the calm before another storm.Â
Andrew Carrigton settled into the chair like he was sitting at a country club luncheon rather than an interrogation room. His suit was crisp, his cufflinks glinting under the fluorescent lights. If he was rattled by the fact that three of his former societyâs members were dead, he didnât show it.
Hotch sat across from him, his expression unreadable. Morgan leaned against the wall, arms crossed, unimpressed.
âMr. Carrigton,â Hotch began, âweâre investigating the murders of three students, all of whom were members of the Seraphic Circle. You were one of its founders. We need information.â
Carrigton exhaled through his nose, shaking his head. âTragic. Truly. But I havenât been involved in years. Youâd be better off asking one of the new recruits.â
Hotch didnât budge. âWeâre asking you.â
Carrigton smirked, tilting his head. âWhat do you want me to say? That itâs a secret society? That we have rituals and secret handshakes?â He chuckled. âCome on, Agent. Itâs a networking club. A prestigious one, sure, but hardly the Illuminati.â
Rossi let out a sharp breath, unimpressed. âRight. A ânetworking clubâ where only the rich and powerful get in, and anyone who doesnât measure up gets chewed up and spit out.â
Carrigton raised an eyebrow. âThatâs life, isnât it?â
Hotch didnât rise to the bait. âThe night of the first murder, there was an event. Who was in attendance?â
Carrigton hummed, tapping a thoughtful finger against his jaw. âHard to say. The Circleâs grown since my time. Dozens of faces, most of which I wouldnât recognize.â
âYouâre still connected. You know the leadership.â
Another lazy shrug. âI might know a few names. But as I said, things change. The president rotates out, always some eager young thing desperate to prove themselves. They run the show until the next one takes over.â He smirked. âI imagine the current one is quite overwhelmed.â
âWhoâs pulling the strings?â Hotch asked.
Carrigton chuckled. âYou give us too much credit, Agent. Itâs not some grand conspiracy. Itâs a club. People join, people leave. Some do well, some donât.â
âAnd the ones who donât?â
Carrigton waved a dismissive hand. âThey drop out. Go on with their lives. Orââ he smiled, sharp, ââthey stew in their resentment, blaming others for their own failures.â
Morganâs jaw tightened. âYou think thatâs what happened here?â
Carrigton leaned back in his chair, perfectly at ease. âI think itâs always the same story. Someone on the outside looking in, bitter that they werenât enough. And now they want to take it out on the ones who were.â
Hotchâs voice was cold. âThatâs a convenient theory. But it doesnât answer our questions.â
Carrigtonâs smirk widened. âThen maybe youâre asking the wrong ones.â
From the other side of the glass, you watched Carrigton with growing irritation. He was the same smug, arrogant bastard you remembered from college, only now it was worse. His attitude hadnât changed a bit, and neither had his ability to waste everyoneâs time with his deflections.
You couldnât help but roll your eyes as he ran his mouth, completely ignoring the fact that three people were dead, his precious club possibly involved. He was too busy leaning back in his chair, playing at some sick power game.
You glanced at JJ, your patience already hanging by a thread. âThereâs no cameras here, right?â
JJ, clearly thrown off by the sudden question, gave you a puzzled look. âNo⊠why?â
Without answering, you turned your focus back to Carrigton and felt your hands tighten into fists. His polished smirk made your blood boil, his greasy hair gleaming under the lights. Your shoulders squared, the weight of your frustration making your movements sharper. You ignored Spencerâs curious glance, his quiet scrutiny as he watched you.
You didnât have time for any of this.
You walked to the door and knocked once, the sound sharp in the sterile room. Before anyone could respond, you turned the handle, stepping into the interrogation room.
Carrigtonâs eyes locked onto you the second you walked in. His gaze flickered briefly, a subtle but noticeable flash of discomfort before he quickly masked it with that same patronizing grin.
âWell, well,â he sneered, adjusting the collar of his shirt like he was trying to put some distance between himself and the real world. âI didnât realize the FBI was hiring gutter rats now.â
Spencer tensed from the other side of the glass, his expression hardening as his frustration mounted. He was clearly growing angrier at Carrigtonâs smug demeanor, but you didnât give him the satisfaction of knowing you were even a little fazed. You simply smirked and kept your focus on the man sitting in front of you.
Carrigtonâs glare never left you as you stepped closer, your tone ice-cold. âThis âgutter ratâ is about to charge you with obstruction of justice if you donât start talking, Andrew.â
Carrigton's eyes narrowed, his lips curling in a sneer. âThatâs blackmail.â
You didnât flinch. âAnd if you keep dragging your feet, thatâs another chargeâcontempt of court. Trust me, Iâve got plenty more where that came from.â You leaned in just enough to make sure he heard you loud and clear. âYou want to keep playing games, or you want to start answering questions?â
Carrigton shifted in his seat, the cockiness starting to waver, but he still clung to that arrogance like a shield, gripping it with white-knuckled desperation.
âI want my lawyer,â he said, forcing his voice to stay even.
You scoff, tilting your head as if you were genuinely considering his words before your lips curled into something sharp and ruthless.
"Is that your way of admitting youâre not a good enough lawyer to defend yourself?" Your voice was smooth, razor-edged silk, venom threaded through every syllable. "Start talking."
His nostrils flared, a flicker of somethingâhesitation, anger, maybe both. It was barely a breath, but you caught it.
"From what I know, the admission process has gone to hell," he sneered, grasping at arrogance like a lifeline. "I spoke with their president last week about it. I'm not throwing my money at that place just for them to start letting in anyone."
Rossiâs eyebrows lifted as he slid the crime scene photos across the table, each image a stark, undeniable truth. âAre these people just âanyoneâ to you, Andrew?â
For the first time, Carrigtonâs arrogance fractured. It was subtleâthe flicker of his gaze, the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed. His fingers twitched, but he didnât reach for the photos.
And then you saw it. No matter how high his shirt collar was, it couldnât quite hide the edges of old scars peeking outâangry, uneven marks trailing up the side of his neck, disappearing beneath expensive fabric.Â
"We didnât have anything to do with this," Carrigton muttered, his voice suddenly lacking its earlier bravado. His eyes flickered briefly over the crime scene photos, but his gaze quickly dropped.
"Whoâs âweâ?" Hotchâs voice was cold, demanding, cutting through the silence.
Carrigton didnât answer immediately. Instead, he shifted in his seat, hands gripping the edges of the table, knuckles turning white. He wasnât as confident as before.
You could feel itâhe was trying to hide the discomfort, but it was there. The truth always made people uncomfortable.
You pushed yourself off the wall, your movement slow and deliberate, your eyes never leaving him as you circled around behind him. He tensed, just slightly at first, but it was enough.
The memory was still fresh, and you knew it. He hadnât forgotten how you burned himâhow the scalding coffee had left that mark on his neck. He was trying not to show it, but it was eating at him, that simmering, seething reminder that youâd done it and he couldnât touch you for it.
You stopped just behind him, letting your presence loom over him like a shadow. He could feel your gaze, feel the space between youâtoo close for comfort, too close for someone who hated you as much as he did.
"Whatâs the matter, Andrew?" You leaned in, your voice low and smooth, but your words sharp as a knife. "Donât like me standing here?"
"I told him to stop accepting anyone," Carrigton muttered, his voice tightening as he stumbled over the words. "Grayson Locke, that's his name. Legacy admission. But I had nothing to do with this. We even went through some names, cut people off."
You could feel the hesitation in his voice, the way he was trying to distance himself from the mess that was unfolding. His words were almost defensive, as if he was trying to convince himself as much as you. The stammering wasnât lost on youâit was almost pathetic.
"What names?" Rossiâs voice was firm, but he wasnât pushing too hard yet. He was letting Carrigton sweat just a little longer, a strategy you were both accustomed to.
Carrigton's jaw tightened, his eyes darting nervously between Morgan and you. "It was a list," he said quickly, almost as though the words were tumbling out before he could stop them. "Just find him. Tell him I told you to give it to you." He swallowed hard, his gaze flickering to the door. "Outside of that, I donât know anything else."
There it was. The slip. The admission that he was just as tangled in this as the rest of them. But it wasnât enough. Rossi stepped out of the interrogation room, heading off to search for the list.
âSee? Was that so hard?â You taunted, slumping into the chair Rossi had just vacated, your eyes never leaving Carrigton. His smug façade cracked, just enough for you to see the shift. The sense of discomfort that he could no longer hide.
His eyes flicked to you, venom dripping from his words. âYou think youâve won? All you are is a stray dog whoâll burn in hell.â He spat the words, his jaw tight, but beneath the bravado, there was fear creeping in.
You straightened in the chair, completely unbothered by his outburst. âAnd youâll be right there with me. I guess you know a thing or two about burning, donât you?â Your smirk was sharp, a silent jab at the scars on his neck, the ones youâd left there.
His expression faltered, just for a second, but it was enough to make your blood run colder. Without warning, he shot to his feet, slamming his palms down on the table with a force that made it rattle. His face was inches from yours now, his breath stinking of rage and something darkerâpanic.
âFuck you, you deranged bitch,â he hissed, his voice barely contained. âYouâll always be the daughter of some filthy addicts. Youâll never belong to this world. My world.â
You didnât move, didnât even blink. The words hit, but they didnât land. âDid I strike a nerve?â You leaned forward slightly, your tone dropping to a razor-sharp whisper. âOr should I say... burn a nerve?â
Carrigtonâs entire body stiffened, his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles went white, veins bulging from his hands. His chest heaved with the kind of raw anger that radiated off him like a furnace. âYouâre still the same psycho bitch I met years ago.â
You didnât flinch, didnât let his venomous words land, only smirked. âHave you learned how to make women come, Carrigton? Or are you still calling them hysterical? Is that why your wife is filing for divorce?â
It wasnât just the words, but the sharpness of your tone, the deliberate push of your venom that made it sting even more. Garcia had provided all the dirt, the skeletons hidden deep in his closet. You werenât above having a little fun with it, using it to your advantage. Carrigton, though, was losing his composure with every word you threw at him.
You opened your mouth to retort, but Hotch beat you to it, rising from his seat. "Enough. We appreciate your time, Mr. Carrington. We'll contact you if we need further information," he said, his voice calm but firm.
Andrew huffed dismissively, rising to leave. As he reached the door, he paused, casting one last venomous glance in your direction. "You think youâve got a place in this world? Trust me, you donât. People like you? They end up alone, scrambling to hold onto the little sanity they have left before it all slips away."
He didnât wait for a response, Spencerâs gaze locked with yours the moment Andrew was out of the room. His eyes were filled with concern, but you chose not to address it. Now wasnât the time.
Instead, you stayed silent, the words echoing in your head. Something about them stuck, gnawing at you. Maybe it was the way he spokeâlike he knew something about you that you hadnât even fully admitted to yourself. Scrambling. It was true, wasnât it? You were constantly on edge, barely holding it together, pretending that you didnât feel like you were one step away from losing it. Maybe it would be easier to just give in, let go, and fulfill everyoneâs expectations of you. Be the damaged, angry, broken thing they wanted you to be.
For a moment, you almost believed his words.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
If murdered students werenât enough to set the rumor mill on fire, your presence definitely did. The thing about rumors is that they spread like wildfire.
âSooo⊠guess what weâve heard?â Emilyâs voice broke through the room as she and the others approached, grinning like they had just uncovered the juiciest piece of gossip on campus.
âAnything useful?â you asked without looking up from the file you were flipping through. âOr is this about the librarian hooking up with students in the archives? Because if it isâold news.â
Morgan smirked, shaking his head. âNah, actually, we heard about some girl who once got a professor fired.â
âAnd,â Prentiss added, leaning in with a knowing smile, âwas banned from mock trial as a freshman after making another student indirectly confess he bought the answers to his exams.â
Your fingers froze for just a split secondâthe briefest pause, barely perceptible to anyone but Spencer, who noticed it right away.
You shrugged, trying to keep your voice steady. âPeople get weirdly creative when it comes to making up rumors.â
Emily raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. âSo youâre telling me,â she pressed, âthat youâve never heard of the girl who burned some rich kidâs manuscript because he plagiarized her?â
You sighed, closing the file with exaggerated nonchalance. âSounds like a legend. And legends arenât real.â
Emily snorted, clearly enjoying this. âOr when she threw a chair at a debate judge for interrupting her?â
Morgan gasped dramatically. âAnd donât forget when she flipped a Monopoly board at a networking event after some trust fund brat said she didnât have the âpedigreeâ for law.â
Emily smirked. âI heard she broke his nose.â
You shrug it off. âMonopoly makes people violent. Everyone knows that.â
You knew they werenât trying to be mean, but youâd rather die than show any hint of regret. You had made some questionable choices in the past, but those didnât define who you were now. Right?
Morgan chuckled, crossing his arms. âRight, right. So I guess the whole thing about you making a guy cry so hard during a mock trial that he dropped out of law school is fake too?â
You were forced to pretend not being able to stop the small smirk tugged at your lips, âOkay, in my defense, that guy was pretentious and thought using big words would make him win.â
Morgan raised an eyebrow, âSome student mentioned you, uh, burning people when they pissed you off.â He exchanged a glance with Prentiss, both of them catching on to your lack of eye contact. âIs that what the Dean was referring to?â
You couldnât help but feel a slight heat creep up your neck, but you managed to keep your gaze on the desk, avoiding their eyes. You didnât need to give them the satisfaction of seeing how much it bothered you. âPeople talk,â you muttered. âBut if you believe everything they say, youâre as crazy as they are.â
You couldâve fooled anyone in that room full of profilers, because hiding behind your indifference mask was something you were well-practiced at. That was, of course, if they didnât know you deeply. If they didnât spend weekends with you, cooking together, exchanging quiet conversations and inside jokes. If they werenât Spencer Reidâthe only one in the room who could read beneath the surface.
He noticed the way you winced when you shifted your neck, the subtle way you massaged the sore muscles with your hand, avoiding eye contact with everyone. To anyone else, it might have seemed like nothing, but to him, it was a clear sign that something was off. You werenât as fine as you were pretending to be.
"Anyone want anything? Iâm doing a coffee run." You donât wait for an answer, already making your way toward the break room. But the laughter behind you lingersâharmless, good-natured, but still too close to the laughter of your ex-classmates. It curls around your ribs like a memory you donât want.
You donât notice Spencer saying heâll come with you, but you realize heâs there when you hear his footstepsâloud enough for you to hear him, deliberate so he doesnât startle you.
At the coffee machine, you take a breath, ignoring him. You press the buttons and try to shake the feeling off, but when you glance at him, just for a second, all he sees in your eyes is guilt. Shame.
"What?" Your voice comes out sharper than you mean. "You also think Iâm a menace to society? Theyâre lucky I turned out halfway functional. Statistically, I shouldnât have.âÂ
Spencer stays a few feet awayâclose enough, but not crowding you. The perfect arms-length distance. It was something he understood about you, something you never had to say out loud. Letting you decide if you needed space or needed closeness. Giving you control, even in something as simple as this.
"None of them think that," he says quietly. "I donât think that."
It takes effort to look at him, but when you do, the tightness in your chest gets worse. You hate it. You hate the way it feels when you take a step closer, resting your forehead against his shoulder. And you hate how naturally his hand finds the back of your head, his fingers brushing through your hair in a slow, soothing motion, like itâs the most normal thing in the world.
"I didnât mean toâGod, have you seen the scars on his neck?" Your voice cracks, barely above a whisper. "What kind of⊠monster does that?"
His hand stills against you for a second.
It breaks his heart every time you talk about yourself like thisâlike youâre one of the people he spends his life trying to stop.
"Technically, the probability of someone from your background reaching your level of success is less than three percent. And even among that group, only a fraction manage to sustain high-pressure careers."
You let out a sharp, humorless laugh. "Yeah? And whatâs the probability of me snapping one day and proving everyone right?"
His jaw tightens, but he doesnât flinch. "Thatâs not the point."
"Then what is?"
He exhales, steady and patient. "The point is that I could pull up hard data showing how statistically, you shouldnât have graduated at fifteen. Or made it through law school on a full ride. Or become one of the best prosecutors in D.C. The odds of that happening were lower than one percent. But you did it. So if we're playing by numbers, then statistically⊠you're exceptional."
He pauses, watching you carefully. Then, softer "And not in the way you seem to think."
Your fingers curl into the edge on themselves, nails pressing into your palms as you process his words. You hate how much they settle into your chest, how they make something raw and aching twist inside you. You exhale, forcing out a scoff, trying to grasp onto the sarcasm that usually keeps you afloat.
"You make it sound like I'm some kind of miracle,"Â
"You might as well be the proof that God exists to me," Spencer says simply, like itâs the most obvious fact in the world.
Your throat tightens. You shake your head, swallowing past the lump forming there. "I hate how you do that," you murmur.
"Do what?"
"Make me feel like maybe Iâm not beyond saving."
His hand stills for a moment before he squeezes the nape of your neck, grounding. "Then I guess Iâll just have to keep doing it until you believe it."
And for once, you donât have the energy to argue.
ăăăă ăă .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăă
The case wrapped up when the team uncovered that one of the students they had interviewed had been fixated on getting into the Seraphic Circle. After his rejection, it became his breaking point, driving him to kill the members in a vengeful spree.
You would have laughed in Andrew Carringtonâs face and shown him just how much that exclusive little club had spiraled into something violent and twisted, you wouldâve. But, of course, that wouldâve been disrespectful to the victims, so you didnât. You wouldnât let yourself sink into that bitterness.
But, it didnât matter in the end. When you landed back in Washingtonâhome, dear homeâit didnât matter. The case was closed, and, for the first time in a long while, you felt a weight lift from your shoulders. Your past mistakes no longer haunted you, and as you stepped into the familiar rhythm of your life, you realized that, just for this moment, you could breathe.
To be honest, you werenât the same person you were back then. The young teen you once were would have never believed, or even considered, that she could be in a loving relationship with a man who would love her unconditionally, no matter what. She never would have believed that someone like Spencer could ever like someone like you.Â
"Are you hungry?" Spencer asked, his voice soft as he dropped the go-bag by the entrance of the apartment. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead "I saw this new recipe for homemade lasagna," he added, his eyes lighting up in that way they always did when he was excited about something. "It has layers of ricotta, mozzarella, and this really rich, savory meat sauce that I think we could definitely pull off. I thought we could make it togetherâmaybe add a little twist of our own, like some fresh basil?"
You smiled at his enthusiasm, noticing how his fingers brushed through his hair absentmindedly as he spoke. It was always endearing to watch him get excited over the little things. "Homemade lasagna? That sounds amazing," you replied, already picturing the cozy evening ahead.
His grin widened, and he pulled his phone from his pocket, swiping through the recipe. "Itâs supposed to take a bit of time, but itâs not complicated...just a lot of love and patienceâso, you know, I think we can manage. Plus, itâll give us time to talk...and eat a lot of cheese."
You laughed, the sound light and full of affection. "I think Iâm sold. Lasagna and cheese? Definitely the kind of night I need."
He gave a small nod, as if he were confirming his excitement to himself. "Okay, Iâll grab the ingredients. Youâre in charge of setting up the music. Deal?"
"Deal," you said, already feeling that comforting sense of peace that only came from spending time like thisâtogether, in your little shared world, filled with small moments that meant everything.
Who wouldâve thought youâd be cooking lasagna with the soft crackle of a vinyl player spinning Billy Joel and Elvis Presley in the background
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
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nobody knows im writing something to make this two suffer
lines of justice out of context lol
Exceptional
Summary: what happens when spencer hears the rumors about your teenage years? what happens when some of those rumors are true?. Pairing: Spencer Reid x lawyer!reader Genre: hurt/comfort and fluff at the end! wc: 5.5k! TW: burning wounds, bullying, misogyny/patriarchal behavior, violent and impulsive behavior. not proofread yet. A/N: in the middle of writting this i realized it's very based on "the archer" and "the man" by Taylor Swift Masterlist! (it's not necessary to read the first 4 chapters!)
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
If we're talking about anecdotes from your teenage years, wellâthereâs not much to tell. Just the totally mundane story of an angry, emotionally volatile teenager with too much brainpower who somehow bulldozed her way into Harvard Law. No big deal.
JJ had great stories about high schoolâbeing the captain of her football team, those wholesome, small-town moments straight out of a coming-of-age movie. Emily had the wildest storiesâtraveling the world, the chaos of never staying in one place, and even the ones that made you feel something, like how badly she just wanted to fit in.
It started with the urgent case the BAU was handedâstudents linked to an elite Harvard secret society were disappearing, their bodies found staged in ritualistic ways. As the case unfolded, Spencer turned to you, his voice a little more cautious than usual.
âDo you know anything about some Seraphic Circle?â
You didnât need to think. Youâd heard plenty about them. Too much, really. "Iâve heard of them," you said, your tone dripping with disdain and rolling your eyes. âRich kids with too much money and power. Half of them donât even deserve to be there, but their families pay for their spot.â
You were reluctant towards accepting going with them to Massachusetts, too much memories and teh constant fear someone might recognize you and call you out for past decisions that maybe weren't the best. Maybe they were worse than you wanted to confess and might even scare Spencer away.Â
Still, he had asked you to accompany them. âDo you think they will remember you?â
âNah⊠i donât think so, they have tons of law students per year soâŠâ maybe your words were right, but the higher thn usual pitch on your tone gave you away to spencer, that only he was able to detect, of how you werenât saying all the true
Long story short, that's how you end up where you are right now, walking behind de BAU towards the Dean of Harvard office, with Spencer by your side.Â
You reach the office just as Hotch shakes the deanâs hand, introducing each member of the team. âSSA Jareau, SSA Morgan, and Dr. Reid,â he says, gesturing to each of them in turn. âWe also broughtââ
âWoodvale.â
The deanâs voice cuts through the room the moment his eyes land on you, recognition flickering across his face. Not even a hundred years would be enough to erase your name from his memory. He didn't like you back then.Â
An almost cynical, carefully polite smile curves your lips as you extend your hand. âDean Langford.â
He grips your hand firmly, his expression unreadable. âSeems like youâve come a long way from that time your burned one of my studentsâ
The atmosphere in the room shifts instantly, tension crackling like a live wire. But you donât let it show, ignoring how he didnât consider you a proper student. Instead, your voice remains cool, measured.
âThose accusations were debunked after no evidence was found,â you say smoothly. âUnlike the very real recordings and witness statements I had of that same student sayingââ you pause, tilting your head slightly, your smile sharpening, âwomen became hysterical when it came to sexual crimes.ââ
Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Emily and JJ smirking, while Langfordâs expression hardens.
The dean's smile barely falters. So, he does remember you. Not surprisingâback then, you were even more impulsive than you are now. And that says a lot.Â
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
Donât ask how, but somehow Garcia had dug up records that gave the team a list of names tied to the so-called âsecret society.â Ironically, when the BAU interviewed students about it, everyone seemed to know what it wasâjust not anything useful.
âThey sacrifice animals.â âA bunch of douchebags with too much money.â âThey run everything. If youâre one of them, youâre untouchable.â
âDo any of the names look familiar?â Rossi asked, sliding the list toward you.
You scanned it, then shook your head. âOnly the last names. But thatâs not surprisingâmost of them come from old money.â
Garcia had also uncovered some interesting financial records. One name stood out: Andrew Carrington, former lawyer at his familyâs prestigious Massachusetts firm. A-class dickhead.
âHeâs got buildings in the city,â Garcia said, displaying files on the computer. âBut his familyâs the real powerâdeep pockets, old money. There are even a couple of campus buildings with their name on them.â
Rossi raised a brow. âLegacy admission?â
âMore like a blank check.â You leaned back. âEveryone knew he bought his way in.â
âAny possibility heâs involved?â Hotch asked.
You considered it for a moment before shaking your head. âI donât think so. Back then, this club was his pride. These murders? They only drag its prestige through the mud.â
âSo⊠this Seraphic Circle thing,â Emily said, tilting her head. âWere you ever part of it?â
The police station buzzed around you, a low hum of voices and ringing phones, but your focus was on the files in front of you. Spencer sat beside you, skimming through pages with his usual quiet intensity. Neither of you was big on PDAâno hand-holding, no lingering touches in front of the teamâbut subtlety was an art you both had mastered. Your elbows brushed as you shifted in your seat, his knee resting against yours, the quiet pressure grounding.
âNot really,â you answered finally. âThey claimed you had to have a big name in law, but what they really meant was that you had to be richâand if you were a man? Even better.â
Morgan flipped through a file. âBut you do know this Carrington guy.â
Before you could answer, Spencerâs fingers brushed against the side of your kneeâa light touch so subtle no one else would notice. A quiet signal. Heâd felt your tension the moment Morgan had mentioned Carrington.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. âYeah⊠It was hard not to know someone like him. Heâs got that whole âking of the schoolâ vibe, but honestly, heâs not capable of something like this.â You spoke nonchalantly, but your voice betrayed a hint of discomfort.
The team shifted focus to the next lead, moving on to analyze the unsubâs possible personality traits. After a few more exchanges, the decision was made to call Carrington in for questioning tomorrowâthere was no use doing it this late. The discussion had settled, but Spencerâs fingers brushed against your knee again, just enough for you to catch it. He was still attuned to your every movement, a silent understanding between the two of you.
After that, Hotch made the call for everyone to get some rest. One by one, the team decided to call it a night, heading out to their respective rooms. You and Spencer lingered behind, both of you wrapping up the last of your thoughts on the case.
Spencer was the one to break the silence. He looked around the station, then at you. His eyes softened for a moment before he spoke. âEnough for tonight. Letâs get some sleep.â
You nodded, thankful for the break. As Spencer found your coat, you dropped the files onto the nearest table. You stood still as he slid the coat onto your shoulders, the fabric brushing against your skin. As he did, you both made the mistake of letting your hands touchâjust a fleeting brushâbut it sent a warmth through your chest.
The walk to the motel was calm, with the quiet night air wrapping around you both. Spencer felt a strange mixture of calm and anticipation swirling in his chest, emotions he didnât usually indulge. It wasnât something he had the vocabulary for, not in his usual clinical sense. For once, there wasnât a need for facts or equations to understand the feeling that settled inside him.
His fingers, almost absent-mindedly, curled into yours. It was a subtle movement, but the softness of it caught him by surprise. His thumb traced small, slow circles over the back of your hand, a tender rhythm he couldnât quite explain. For someone who usually lived in the world of patterns and logic, this was unfamiliar territory. But the simple touch, the way your fingers fit together so naturallyâit felt right.
In a world where everything was either solvable or predictable, this felt like the exception. There was no analysis needed. No need to question why it felt so much like a moment he wanted to hold onto. Maybe it was the quiet between you two, or the way everything around you seemed to fade as his thumb ran over your hand. All Spencer knew was that in that moment, nothing else mattered.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
The next morning, Hotch had sent Morgan and Prentiss off to speak with students on the campus, while he and Rossi took over the interrogation. The room felt different now, quieterâlike the calm before another storm.Â
Andrew Carrigton settled into the chair like he was sitting at a country club luncheon rather than an interrogation room. His suit was crisp, his cufflinks glinting under the fluorescent lights. If he was rattled by the fact that three of his former societyâs members were dead, he didnât show it.
Hotch sat across from him, his expression unreadable. Morgan leaned against the wall, arms crossed, unimpressed.
âMr. Carrigton,â Hotch began, âweâre investigating the murders of three students, all of whom were members of the Seraphic Circle. You were one of its founders. We need information.â
Carrigton exhaled through his nose, shaking his head. âTragic. Truly. But I havenât been involved in years. Youâd be better off asking one of the new recruits.â
Hotch didnât budge. âWeâre asking you.â
Carrigton smirked, tilting his head. âWhat do you want me to say? That itâs a secret society? That we have rituals and secret handshakes?â He chuckled. âCome on, Agent. Itâs a networking club. A prestigious one, sure, but hardly the Illuminati.â
Rossi let out a sharp breath, unimpressed. âRight. A ânetworking clubâ where only the rich and powerful get in, and anyone who doesnât measure up gets chewed up and spit out.â
Carrigton raised an eyebrow. âThatâs life, isnât it?â
Hotch didnât rise to the bait. âThe night of the first murder, there was an event. Who was in attendance?â
Carrigton hummed, tapping a thoughtful finger against his jaw. âHard to say. The Circleâs grown since my time. Dozens of faces, most of which I wouldnât recognize.â
âYouâre still connected. You know the leadership.â
Another lazy shrug. âI might know a few names. But as I said, things change. The president rotates out, always some eager young thing desperate to prove themselves. They run the show until the next one takes over.â He smirked. âI imagine the current one is quite overwhelmed.â
âWhoâs pulling the strings?â Hotch asked.
Carrigton chuckled. âYou give us too much credit, Agent. Itâs not some grand conspiracy. Itâs a club. People join, people leave. Some do well, some donât.â
âAnd the ones who donât?â
Carrigton waved a dismissive hand. âThey drop out. Go on with their lives. Orââ he smiled, sharp, ââthey stew in their resentment, blaming others for their own failures.â
Morganâs jaw tightened. âYou think thatâs what happened here?â
Carrigton leaned back in his chair, perfectly at ease. âI think itâs always the same story. Someone on the outside looking in, bitter that they werenât enough. And now they want to take it out on the ones who were.â
Hotchâs voice was cold. âThatâs a convenient theory. But it doesnât answer our questions.â
Carrigtonâs smirk widened. âThen maybe youâre asking the wrong ones.â
From the other side of the glass, you watched Carrigton with growing irritation. He was the same smug, arrogant bastard you remembered from college, only now it was worse. His attitude hadnât changed a bit, and neither had his ability to waste everyoneâs time with his deflections.
You couldnât help but roll your eyes as he ran his mouth, completely ignoring the fact that three people were dead, his precious club possibly involved. He was too busy leaning back in his chair, playing at some sick power game.
You glanced at JJ, your patience already hanging by a thread. âThereâs no cameras here, right?â
JJ, clearly thrown off by the sudden question, gave you a puzzled look. âNo⊠why?â
Without answering, you turned your focus back to Carrigton and felt your hands tighten into fists. His polished smirk made your blood boil, his greasy hair gleaming under the lights. Your shoulders squared, the weight of your frustration making your movements sharper. You ignored Spencerâs curious glance, his quiet scrutiny as he watched you.
You didnât have time for any of this.
You walked to the door and knocked once, the sound sharp in the sterile room. Before anyone could respond, you turned the handle, stepping into the interrogation room.
Carrigtonâs eyes locked onto you the second you walked in. His gaze flickered briefly, a subtle but noticeable flash of discomfort before he quickly masked it with that same patronizing grin.
âWell, well,â he sneered, adjusting the collar of his shirt like he was trying to put some distance between himself and the real world. âI didnât realize the FBI was hiring gutter rats now.â
Spencer tensed from the other side of the glass, his expression hardening as his frustration mounted. He was clearly growing angrier at Carrigtonâs smug demeanor, but you didnât give him the satisfaction of knowing you were even a little fazed. You simply smirked and kept your focus on the man sitting in front of you.
Carrigtonâs glare never left you as you stepped closer, your tone ice-cold. âThis âgutter ratâ is about to charge you with obstruction of justice if you donât start talking, Andrew.â
Carrigton's eyes narrowed, his lips curling in a sneer. âThatâs blackmail.â
You didnât flinch. âAnd if you keep dragging your feet, thatâs another chargeâcontempt of court. Trust me, Iâve got plenty more where that came from.â You leaned in just enough to make sure he heard you loud and clear. âYou want to keep playing games, or you want to start answering questions?â
Carrigton shifted in his seat, the cockiness starting to waver, but he still clung to that arrogance like a shield, gripping it with white-knuckled desperation.
âI want my lawyer,â he said, forcing his voice to stay even.
You scoff, tilting your head as if you were genuinely considering his words before your lips curled into something sharp and ruthless.
"Is that your way of admitting youâre not a good enough lawyer to defend yourself?" Your voice was smooth, razor-edged silk, venom threaded through every syllable. "Start talking."
His nostrils flared, a flicker of somethingâhesitation, anger, maybe both. It was barely a breath, but you caught it.
"From what I know, the admission process has gone to hell," he sneered, grasping at arrogance like a lifeline. "I spoke with their president last week about it. I'm not throwing my money at that place just for them to start letting in anyone."
Rossiâs eyebrows lifted as he slid the crime scene photos across the table, each image a stark, undeniable truth. âAre these people just âanyoneâ to you, Andrew?â
For the first time, Carrigtonâs arrogance fractured. It was subtleâthe flicker of his gaze, the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed. His fingers twitched, but he didnât reach for the photos.
And then you saw it. No matter how high his shirt collar was, it couldnât quite hide the edges of old scars peeking outâangry, uneven marks trailing up the side of his neck, disappearing beneath expensive fabric.Â
"We didnât have anything to do with this," Carrigton muttered, his voice suddenly lacking its earlier bravado. His eyes flickered briefly over the crime scene photos, but his gaze quickly dropped.
"Whoâs âweâ?" Hotchâs voice was cold, demanding, cutting through the silence.
Carrigton didnât answer immediately. Instead, he shifted in his seat, hands gripping the edges of the table, knuckles turning white. He wasnât as confident as before.
You could feel itâhe was trying to hide the discomfort, but it was there. The truth always made people uncomfortable.
You pushed yourself off the wall, your movement slow and deliberate, your eyes never leaving him as you circled around behind him. He tensed, just slightly at first, but it was enough.
The memory was still fresh, and you knew it. He hadnât forgotten how you burned himâhow the scalding coffee had left that mark on his neck. He was trying not to show it, but it was eating at him, that simmering, seething reminder that youâd done it and he couldnât touch you for it.
You stopped just behind him, letting your presence loom over him like a shadow. He could feel your gaze, feel the space between youâtoo close for comfort, too close for someone who hated you as much as he did.
"Whatâs the matter, Andrew?" You leaned in, your voice low and smooth, but your words sharp as a knife. "Donât like me standing here?"
"I told him to stop accepting anyone," Carrigton muttered, his voice tightening as he stumbled over the words. "Grayson Locke, that's his name. Legacy admission. But I had nothing to do with this. We even went through some names, cut people off."
You could feel the hesitation in his voice, the way he was trying to distance himself from the mess that was unfolding. His words were almost defensive, as if he was trying to convince himself as much as you. The stammering wasnât lost on youâit was almost pathetic.
"What names?" Rossiâs voice was firm, but he wasnât pushing too hard yet. He was letting Carrigton sweat just a little longer, a strategy you were both accustomed to.
Carrigton's jaw tightened, his eyes darting nervously between Morgan and you. "It was a list," he said quickly, almost as though the words were tumbling out before he could stop them. "Just find him. Tell him I told you to give it to you." He swallowed hard, his gaze flickering to the door. "Outside of that, I donât know anything else."
There it was. The slip. The admission that he was just as tangled in this as the rest of them. But it wasnât enough. Rossi stepped out of the interrogation room, heading off to search for the list.
âSee? Was that so hard?â You taunted, slumping into the chair Rossi had just vacated, your eyes never leaving Carrigton. His smug façade cracked, just enough for you to see the shift. The sense of discomfort that he could no longer hide.
His eyes flicked to you, venom dripping from his words. âYou think youâve won? All you are is a stray dog whoâll burn in hell.â He spat the words, his jaw tight, but beneath the bravado, there was fear creeping in.
You straightened in the chair, completely unbothered by his outburst. âAnd youâll be right there with me. I guess you know a thing or two about burning, donât you?â Your smirk was sharp, a silent jab at the scars on his neck, the ones youâd left there.
His expression faltered, just for a second, but it was enough to make your blood run colder. Without warning, he shot to his feet, slamming his palms down on the table with a force that made it rattle. His face was inches from yours now, his breath stinking of rage and something darkerâpanic.
âFuck you, you deranged bitch,â he hissed, his voice barely contained. âYouâll always be the daughter of some filthy addicts. Youâll never belong to this world. My world.â
You didnât move, didnât even blink. The words hit, but they didnât land. âDid I strike a nerve?â You leaned forward slightly, your tone dropping to a razor-sharp whisper. âOr should I say... burn a nerve?â
Carrigtonâs entire body stiffened, his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles went white, veins bulging from his hands. His chest heaved with the kind of raw anger that radiated off him like a furnace. âYouâre still the same bitch I met years ago.â
You didnât flinch, didnât let his venomous words land, only smirked. âHave you learned how to make women come, Carrigton? Or are you still calling them hysterical? Is that why your wife is filing for divorce?â
It wasnât just the words, but the sharpness of your tone, the deliberate push of your venom that made it sting even more. Garcia had provided all the dirt, the skeletons hidden deep in his closet. You werenât above having a little fun with it, using it to your advantage. Carrigton, though, was losing his composure with every word you threw at him.
He opened his mouth to retort, but Hotch beat him to it, rising from his seat. "Enough. We appreciate your time, Mr. Carrington. We'll contact you if we need further information," he said, his voice calm but firm.
Andrew huffed dismissively, rising to leave. As he reached the door, he paused, casting one last venomous glance in your direction. "You think youâve got a place in this world? Trust me, you donât. People like you? They end up alone, scrambling to hold onto the little sanity they have left before it all slips away."
He didnât wait for a response, Spencerâs gaze locked with yours the moment Andrew was out of the room. His eyes were filled with concern, but you chose not to address it. Now wasnât the time.
Instead, you stayed silent, the words echoing in your head. Something about them stuck, gnawing at you. Maybe it was the way he spokeâlike he knew something about you that you hadnât even fully admitted to yourself. Scrambling. It was true, wasnât it? You were constantly on edge, barely holding it together, pretending that you didnât feel like you were one step away from losing it. Maybe it would be easier to just give in, let go, and fulfill everyoneâs expectations of you. Be the damaged, angry, broken thing they wanted you to be.
For a moment, you almost believed his words.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
If murdered students werenât enough to set the rumor mill on fire, your presence definitely did. The thing about rumors is that they spread like wildfire.
âSooo⊠guess what weâve heard?â Emilyâs voice broke through the room as she and the others approached, grinning like they had just uncovered the juiciest piece of gossip on campus.
âAnything useful?â you asked without looking up from the file you were flipping through. âOr is this about the librarian hooking up with students in the archives? Because if it isâold news.â
Morgan smirked, shaking his head. âNah, actually, we heard about some girl who once got a professor fired.â
âAnd,â Prentiss added, leaning in with a knowing smile, âwas banned from mock trial as a freshman after making another student indirectly confess he bought the answers to his exams.â
Your fingers froze for just a split secondâthe briefest pause, barely perceptible to anyone but Spencer, who noticed it right away.
You shrugged, trying to keep your voice steady. âPeople get weirdly creative when it comes to making up rumors.â
Emily raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. âSo youâre telling me,â she pressed, âthat youâve never heard of the girl who burned some rich kidâs manuscript because he plagiarized her?â
You sighed, closing the file with exaggerated nonchalance. âSounds like a legend. And legends arenât real.â
Emily snorted, clearly enjoying this. âOr when she threw a chair at a debate judge for interrupting her?â
Morgan gasped dramatically. âAnd donât forget when she flipped a Monopoly board at a networking event after some trust fund brat said she didnât have the âpedigreeâ for law.â
Emily smirked. âI heard she broke his nose.â
You shrug it off. âMonopoly makes people violent. Everyone knows that.â
You knew they werenât trying to be mean, but youâd rather die than show any hint of regret. You had made some questionable choices in the past, but those didnât define who you were now. Right?
Morgan chuckled, crossing his arms. âRight, right. So I guess the whole thing about you making a guy cry so hard during a mock trial that he dropped out of law school is fake too?â
You were forced to pretend not being able to stop the small smirk tugged at your lips, âOkay, in my defense, that guy was pretentious and thought using big words would make him win.â
Morgan raised an eyebrow, âSome student mentioned you, uh, burning people when they pissed you off.â He exchanged a glance with Prentiss, both of them catching on to your lack of eye contact. âIs that what the Dean was referring to?â
You couldnât help but feel a slight heat creep up your neck, but you managed to keep your gaze on the desk, avoiding their eyes. You didnât need to give them the satisfaction of seeing how much it bothered you. âPeople talk,â you muttered. âBut if you believe everything they say, youâre as crazy as they are.â
You couldâve fooled anyone in that room full of profilers, because hiding behind your indifference mask was something you were well-practiced at. That was, of course, if they didnât know you deeply. If they didnât spend weekends with you, cooking together, exchanging quiet conversations and inside jokes. If they werenât Spencer Reidâthe only one in the room who could read beneath the surface.
He noticed the way you winced when you shifted your neck, the subtle way you massaged the sore muscles with your hand, avoiding eye contact with everyone. To anyone else, it might have seemed like nothing, but to him, it was a clear sign that something was off. You werenât as fine as you were pretending to be.
"Anyone want anything? Iâm doing a coffee run." You donât wait for an answer, already making your way toward the break room. But the laughter behind you lingersâharmless, good-natured, but still too close to the laughter of your ex-classmates. It curls around your ribs like a memory you donât want.
You donât notice Spencer saying heâll come with you, but you realize heâs there when you hear his footstepsâloud enough for you to hear him, deliberate so he doesnât startle you.
At the coffee machine, you take a breath, ignoring him. You press the buttons and try to shake the feeling off, but when you glance at him, just for a second, all he sees in your eyes is guilt. Shame.
"What?" Your voice comes out sharper than you mean. "You also think Iâm a menace to society? Theyâre lucky I turned out halfway functional. Statistically, I shouldnât have.âÂ
Spencer stays a few feet awayâclose enough, but not crowding you. The perfect arms-length distance. It was something he understood about you, something you never had to say out loud. Letting you decide if you needed space or needed closeness. Giving you control, even in something as simple as this.
"None of them think that," he says quietly. "I donât think that."
It takes effort to look at him, but when you do, the tightness in your chest gets worse. You hate it. You hate the way it feels when you take a step closer, resting your forehead against his shoulder. And you hate how naturally his hand finds the back of your head, his fingers brushing through your hair in a slow, soothing motion, like itâs the most normal thing in the world.
"I didnât mean toâGod, have you seen the scars on his neck?" Your voice cracks, barely above a whisper. "What kind of⊠monster does that?"
His hand stills against you for a second.
It breaks his heart every time you talk about yourself like thisâlike youâre one of the people he spends his life trying to stop.
"Technically, the probability of someone from your background reaching your level of success is less than three percent. And even among that group, only a fraction manage to sustain high-pressure careers."
You let out a sharp, humorless laugh. "Yeah? And whatâs the probability of me snapping one day and proving everyone right?"
His jaw tightens, but he doesnât flinch. "Thatâs not the point."
"Then what is?"
He exhales, steady and patient. "The point is that I could pull up hard data showing how statistically, you shouldnât have graduated at fifteen. Or made it through law school on a full ride. Or become one of the best prosecutors in D.C. The odds of that happening were lower than one percent. But you did it. So if we're playing by numbers, then statistically⊠you're exceptional."
He pauses, watching you carefully. Then, softer "And not in the way you seem to think."
Your fingers curl into the edge on themselves, nails pressing into your palms as you process his words. You hate how much they settle into your chest, how they make something raw and aching twist inside you. You exhale, forcing out a scoff, trying to grasp onto the sarcasm that usually keeps you afloat.
"You make it sound like I'm some kind of miracle,"Â
"You might as well be the proof that God exists to me," Spencer says simply, like itâs the most obvious fact in the world.
Your throat tightens. You shake your head, swallowing past the lump forming there. "I hate how you do that," you murmur.
"Do what?"
"Make me feel like maybe Iâm not beyond saving."
His hand stills for a moment before he squeezes the nape of your neck, grounding. "Then I guess Iâll just have to keep doing it until you believe it."
And for once, you donât have the energy to argue.
ăăăă ăă .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăă
The case wrapped up when the team uncovered that one of the students they had interviewed had been fixated on getting into the Seraphic Circle. After his rejection, it became his breaking point, driving him to kill the members in a vengeful spree.
You would have laughed in Andrew Carringtonâs face and shown him just how much that exclusive little club had spiraled into something violent and twisted, you wouldâve. But, of course, that wouldâve been disrespectful to the victims, so you didnât. You wouldnât let yourself sink into that bitterness.
But, it didnât matter in the end. When you landed back in Washingtonâhome, dear homeâit didnât matter. The case was closed, and, for the first time in a long while, you felt a weight lift from your shoulders. Your past mistakes no longer haunted you, and as you stepped into the familiar rhythm of your life, you realized that, just for this moment, you could breathe.
To be honest, you werenât the same person you were back then. The young teen you once were would have never believed, or even considered, that she could be in a loving relationship with a man who would love her unconditionally, no matter what. She never would have believed that someone like Spencer could ever like someone like you.Â
"Are you hungry?" Spencer asked, his voice soft as he dropped the go-bag by the entrance of the apartment. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead "I saw this new recipe for homemade lasagna," he added, his eyes lighting up in that way they always did when he was excited about something. "It has layers of ricotta, mozzarella, and this really rich, savory meat sauce that I think we could definitely pull off. I thought we could make it togetherâmaybe add a little twist of our own, like some fresh basil?"
You smiled at his enthusiasm, noticing how his fingers brushed through his hair absentmindedly as he spoke. It was always endearing to watch him get excited over the little things. "Homemade lasagna? That sounds amazing," you replied, already picturing the cozy evening ahead.
His grin widened, and he pulled his phone from his pocket, swiping through the recipe. "Itâs supposed to take a bit of time, but itâs not complicated...just a lot of love and patienceâso, you know, I think we can manage. Plus, itâll give us time to talk...and eat a lot of cheese."
You laughed, the sound light and full of affection. "I think Iâm sold. Lasagna and cheese? Definitely the kind of night I need."
He gave a small nod, as if he were confirming his excitement to himself. "Okay, Iâll grab the ingredients. Youâre in charge of setting up the music. Deal?"
"Deal," you said, already feeling that comforting sense of peace that only came from spending time like thisâtogether, in your little shared world, filled with small moments that meant everything.
Who wouldâve thought youâd be cooking lasagna with the soft crackle of a vinyl player spinning Billy Joel and Elvis Presley in the background
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
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I just made a visual thread of Spencer reid x lawyer!reader on tw if anyone wants to see it!
https://x.com/reidsmanuscript/status/1902093935482118174?s=46
Cooling love
Summary: Full of fear, full of love and wrapped in the feeling of safety and home, they say those three words for the first time. Pairing: Spencer Reid x lawyer!reader Genre: FLUFF! FINALLY wc: 3.2k! TW: reader does boxing and overthinks way too much A/N: it's inspired on "You are in love" by Taylor Swift, Mastelist! (it's not necessary to read the first 4 chapters!)
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
The sky was turning orange, announcing the sunset. The sight of it excited youâmaybe today wouldnât bring rain after all. Maybe tonight, the date you had with Spencer would end under a clear spring sky.
Finishing the last motion of the day, you glanced up at the clock and realized you could leave in five minutes. You began arranging your documents, eager to get home and get ready, when your phone rang with Spencerâs assigned tone.
You had a rule with himâwell, actually, a series of very clear rules both of you had established after a period of back-and-forth. They included "Do not lie to me" and "No calls during work unless it's absolutely necessary or an emergency." That rule had been established after he called you in the middle of a trial for, âWhat do you want for dinner?â Everything else that wasnât an emergency could be communicated through messagesâsomething Spencer had gotten used to.
You let out a tired sigh, trying to keep your voice as neutral as possible when you answer the phone. âHey.â
The sigh on the other end is familiar, the same one you let out earlier. âHey, itâs me... We just had a case come up, I have to fly to Wyoming. Iâm really sorry.â
Your suspicions are confirmed, and you press your lips together, trying to keep the disappointment out of your tone. âItâs okay, really. Iâll call the restaurant and let them know. Maybe we can reschedule within two weeks?â
âYeah, that sounds good. Again, Iâm sorry,â he says, and you can almost hear the pout in his voice. The sincerity behind his words makes your heart soften.
âIt comes with the job, really,â you reassure him, offering him some comfort. âJust let me know when you land, okay?â
âI will. Talk soon,â he says, the relief in his voice a little evident.
You canât help but smile a little, even if the evening you had hoped for is slipping away. âTalk soon, Spence.âÂ
He hangs up, and you allow yourself a moment to feel the sadness of the cancellation. You know itâs completely out of your control, but that doesnât erase the bitter taste it leaves behind. You had planned a nice dinner with himâone where you might finally say the three words that have been sitting in the back of your mind, the ones that still scare you more than anything.
You had been dating for a while now, and it was so unexpectedly calm in contrast how you two had met. Things between you were nice and loving, but you wouldnât call it sweet. Not because it wasnât objectively sweet, but because sweetness wasnât something you associated with good. Still, you knew that anyone looking from the outside would call you both sweet. Maybe even him would call it like that.
For you it was more like⊠peaceful. Calming. Yeah, that was the word. Like cooling, but not in a cold wayâmore like refreshing. Like taking a sip of water in the middle of the night from a bottle thatâs been sitting there for way too long, yet itâs somehow the perfect temperature.
God, you sucked at this. Love was not your strongest field, truly. You could argue in court, you could come up with ways to convince people and even threaten officers and criminals with charges. But when it came to expressing your feelings with order and clarity you were⊠well dumb.Â
Words got mixed up, emotions tangled into knots, and when he looked at you with those love-filled eyes, you wanted to grab himâhold him so tightly, so fiercely, that maybe then heâd understand everything you felt.
Because one of your biggest fears was that you seemed too cold, too indifferentâmaybe even to him.
I mean, the man had just called to cancel a date, and you brushed it off, made it seem like it didnât matter, just so he wouldnât feel bad. But what if he thought you didnât care? You did care. You wouldnât have spent nearly two hours agonizing over what to wear, rehearsing things you wanted to say to him over dinner if you didn't.Â
Sometimes, you felt so much that you were afraid of how it might come outâafraid that if you tried to express it, it would explode in the worst way possible. So instead, you held it back. Smoothed it over. Hid it.
But you did love him.
Because in a room full of people, the one look he gave was always just for you. Because sometimes, when your shoulders brushed in passing, that single touch was enough.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
Spencer was more than happy with the way things were between you two. He never felt unlovedânot even for a secondâbecause he knew you. He knew how you were when you were mad, how cold and detached you could be to people who didnât matter. And with him? You were anything but uncaring or uninterested.
You let him ramble about whatever hyperfixation had captured his mind at the moment, listening not just with patience but with genuine attention. And sometimes, you asked hypothetical questions that completely blew his mindâbecause while he was good at following the book, tracing theories and established patterns, you were good at thinking of all the possible alternatives, the what-ifs no one had considered.
He would talk about, say, the fall of the Roman Empire, meticulously outlining every economic, political, and social factor that led to its collapse. And youânever content with the obviousâwould tilt your head and ask, "But what if the Antonine Plague had never happened? Do you think Rome would have still fallen, or would it have held on for a few more centuries?"
Or heâd be deep in a discussion about the Voynich manuscript, running through linguistic theories and cryptographic possibilities, and youâd counter with, "But what if itâs not a cipher at all? What if it was written by someone whose brain just didnât work like ours, someone who saw language in an entirely different way?"
And that was the thingâSpencer knew a lot, but you thought in a way that challenged everything he thought he knew. Like sometimes you would open doors to worlds he hadn't thought about. You didnât just listen; you engaged, pulling him into debates that left his mind racing long after the conversation had ended.
It was exhilarating. And maybe, just maybe, it was one of the many reasons he had fallen in love with you.
So thatâs why he was so sad when he had to call off the date.
It was hard enough being away from you for long stretches when he was working, constantly moving from case to case, city to city. Thatâs why he kept the photo you two had taken in a photobooth on your third date tucked safely in his walletâthe small strip of pictures worn at the edges from how often he pulled it out. A reminder. A comfort.
And thatâs why, sometimes, when an unsubâs victim profile was too similar to youâtoo close to homeâhe felt even more driven to catch them as quickly as possible.
You could be in D.C., nearly 1,700 miles away from the crime scene he was standing in, and yet he still felt like you were in danger. Like he had to protect you, even from across the country. It was irrational, he knew that. Statistically, logically, there was no reason for the cases to feel so personal.
But they did. Because it was you. And when it came to you, Spencer had never been good at thinking rationally. ă
Thatâs why, when the approximately 3-hour flight came to an end, he needed to see youâpersonally, physicallyâto reassure his suddenly illogical mind that you were safe and sound.
He knew you werenât workingâit was 7 p.m. on a Wednesday, a day you started to set aside to exercise, claiming that by the middle of the week, you were already stressed enough. It was part of your new routine, something predictable in a life that often wasnât, and Spencer knew youâd appreciate him remembering.
He told himself he was being ridiculous, that you were fine, that nothing had happened. But still, his fingers hovered over his phone, waitingâbecause knowing you were safe wasnât the same as seeing it.
Because thatâs what love does to a man like Spencerâsmashes his brain into a puddle and makes his IQ feel like a useless number, proving his own disbelief in quantifiable intelligence.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
You saw him standing outside the gym, hands tucked into his pockets, and immediately walked out to meet him. A part of you felt grossâsweaty and disheveled from your workoutâbut the excitement of seeing him, of having him just a few feet away, overshadowed everything else.
âHey, Iâm really sweaty, so itâs okaââ you started, already thinking about his germophobia.
Before you could finish, he cut you off by hugging you tightly. The sudden warmth of him caught you off guard, but only for a second before you melted into it, sliding your arms around him and rubbing your hand along his back.
When he pulled away slightly, his expression was unreadable, almost hesitant. âSorry, Iâuhââ
You shook your head before he could finish.
âI really missed you,â he whispered.
Your breath hitched, and your hold on him instinctively tightened. âI missed you too.â
He smiled then, and for a moment, you swore you might die.
It wasnât just the way he held youâlike you were something precious. It was the way he clung to you, as if you were some kind of beacon in the middle of a storm.
The strap of your gym bag started slipping off your shoulder, and as you adjusted it, his gaze drifted downward. His expression shifted the moment he caught sight of your hand, brows furrowing at the faint bruises on your knuckles.
Without hesitation, he reached for your hand, turning it over gently. The contrast between his careful touch and the roughness of your skin made heat rise to your faceâflustered, yet slightly embarrassed.
"You've been boxing," he finally said. Not a question, just an observation.
You smirked, tilting your head. "Yeah, Morgan recommended it. And I still haven't forgiven Austin for his attempted murder when I joined his Pilates class." You shrugged, trying to downplay the concern in his eyes. "It's really good, you know? Who would've thought that throwing punches actually calms angry people?"
His lips twitched, but he didnât quite smile. "Statistically speaking, if you just started, your form probably still needs work. Which means you're likelyâ" he paused, his thumb ghosting over your knuckles, "âhitting too hard without proper wrist alignment. You should wrap your hands before training."
His worry was endearing, and something in your chest warmed at the way he studied you so intently, like your well-being was something that mattered.
âI do wrap them,â you admitted, then gave him a sheepish look. âMaybe⊠not in the right way.â
His gaze flickered up to yours, unimpressed yet undeniably fond. âThatâs not exactly reassuring,â he murmured, still holding your hand like it was something fragileâsomething that deserved care, even if you didnât always give it to yourself.
You huffed a small laugh. âWell, itâs a work in progress. Kind of like me.â
He didnât let go. Instead, he ran his thumb lightly over your knuckles, his touch featherlight. His voice was quieter when he spoke again.
âI could show you.â
Because that was what Spencer Reid did for youâhe didnât try to convince you to quit if you said something was good for you. He didnât attempt to control your anger or emotions in the way he thought would be most convenient.
If you decided you were going to throw punches at a punching bag, then he was going to make sure you did it as safely as possible.
There had been times in your life when you felt like a caged animal, constantly surrounded by people who only wanted to tame you. But he was the exceptionâthe one who met you in the wildness of your own mind with nothing but patience and understanding.
It was terrifying.
âMaybe later,â you say, intertwining your fingers and lowering your hands out of his view. âIâm sure youâre really tired and hungry.â
He sighs, clearly recognizing your attempt to change the subject, but lets it slide. âA little,â he admits. âDo you want to go to dinner?â
The possibility of finally having your dateâat a moment when you were anything but put together, still sweaty and dressed in gym clothesâmade you glance down at yourself.
âI-uh, could we make a quick stop at my place first? I donât think you want to take me out when I look like this.â
It was a joke, obviously, and he laughed softly. But all he could think about was how, to him, you were beautiful in any state, in any clothes. Still, knowing you werenât comfortable, he considered an alternative.
âWhy donât we pick up some food and go to your place instead?â
You pause, looking up at him, and something in your chest tugs at the idea. You couldnât ask for a more perfect moment to tell him you loved himâyour apartment, your own world, with him existing in it.
You smile and nod, and he begins walking toward his favorite Indian food place, still holding your hand. His fingers trace the bruises gently, as though he's reading them like braille, trying to understand the thoughts that linger in your mind. The careful, deliberate way he does it makes your chest ache in the best possible way, a warm ache that settles deep and soft inside you.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
You were sitting on your couch, legs draped over hisânot exactly in his lap, but close enough. His hand absentmindedly traced over them as you finished the last bite of your meal before setting the empty container on the coffee table.
He got up, murmuring something about the bathroom, but when he returned, he had the first aid kit in handâthe same one he had bought for you after knowing you didnât have one.
You had already forgotten about the bruises.
Of course, he hadnât.
He flipped it open, retrieving an antiseptic wipe before reaching for your hand again. âJust in case,â he murmured.
You rolled your eyes, but there was no real annoyance behind it. âTheyâre fine.â
He shot you a look that told you he didnât believe that for a second. âHumor me.â
With a sigh, you let him clean the bruised skin, the antiseptic stinging slightly as he swiped it across your knuckles with delicate precision. He was so gentle with you, more than you probably deserved.
âDoes it hurt?â he asked after a moment, voice softer now.
âNo,â you admitted. âNot when youâre doing it.â
His movements faltered just slightly, and you watched as his ears turned pink.
Yeah. You were definitely dying.
He cleared his throat, recovering quickly, and reached for the roll of gauze in his kit. âAlright. Hands out.â
You obeyed, letting him take your hand as he began wrapping your knuckles with precise, deliberate movements. His touch was careful but assured, his focus entirely on the task as he spokeâlow, measured, like he was reading from a well-researched textbook.
âThe wrap needs to be snug but not constrictive,â he murmured, looping the bandage around your wrist first. âIf itâs too loose, it wonât absorb impact properly. Too tight, and you risk compromising circulation, which can lead to numbness, tingling, or even long-term nerve compression.â
His fingers ghosted over your skin as he threaded the wrap between yours, securing it with mathematical precision.
âYouâre not just protecting your knuckles; the metacarpals, tendons, and small intrinsic muscles of the hand all absorb force during a punch,â he continued, his voice steady. âImproper wrapping shifts that force to weaker areas, increasing the likelihood of a boxer's fractureâtypically in the fourth and fifth metacarpal bones.â
You huffed a quiet laugh. âOnly you would make first aid sound like a dissertation, Doctor Reid.â
His lips quirked, but his concentration didnât waver. âI just think if youâre going to be using your hands as blunt-force weapons, you should at least minimize the risk of long-term structural damage.â
His voice was calm, steadyâeach word carefully measured, as if he knew exactly how to keep you grounded without even trying. You let yourself sink into it, resting your head against his shoulder, the warmth of him seeping into you.
He finished the last loop, pressing his fingertips gently against the bandage to test the tension. âThat should hold,â he murmured.
You flexed your fingers experimentally, then glanced up at him. âDidnât know you were an expert at this,â you teased.
He let out a small chuckle. âNot exactly. But I do know a thing or two about anatomy and injury prevention. And I may have⊠read a few sports medicine journals.â
Of course he had.
His fingers lingeredâlight against yours, tracing the edges of the bandage as if mapping out every careful turn he had just made. He didnât look up right away, and neither did you.
The most comforting yet loud silence set between you, not loud in a troubled way, more in a full of emotions type of loud, the same feeling you heard on the way home.
You took the chance and intertwined your fingers with his, bringing his hand to your lips and pressing a soft kiss to the back of it. The sensation caused his stomach to flutter, the tingling warmth spreading across his skin.
âThank you, Spence,â you said, your voice genuine, filled with all the gratitude you felt.
âItâs nothing,â he murmured, his hand drifting lazily over your leg, his thumb tracing soft patterns against your skin.
Remember that feeling of too much? The one where you were scared of exploding because everything inside you was just too overwhelming? Right now, your chest was filled to the brim, threatening to burst if you didnât release it somehow.
âI love you.â
Your confession caused him to turn his head toward you. There was no disbelief in his eyesâonly the quiet, profound gratitude of being the one you chose to share that with.
He had read about love in thousands of books, from poetry to neurological studies. He knew the chemical process behind it, the science of affection and attachment. But in this moment, he finally understood why some people lost themselves in love, why others fought wars over it, why people spent entire lifetimes trying to put it into words. For the first time, he realized there was no way to describe the depth of what he felt for youânot in any language, not through any scientific explanation. Some feelings simply defied words.
âI love you too,â he whispered, but even those words felt insufficient as they left his lips.
And thatâs why his hand, still resting on your leg, moved up to your cheek, pulling you closer as his lips found yours. As if Dostoevsky was almost right when said âThe darker the night, the brighter the stars. The deeper the grief love, the closer is God.â
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
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woody x reid is tew good thank you kindly
THANK YOU đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ» im writing some fluff about them omg they are so cute i swear
Sweet echoes of the past
Summary: When the gentle hand of the past becomes the present, it tightens around the ADA's throat, forcing the hidden faces of darkness into the light. Pairing: Spencer reid x lawyer!reader Genre: HURT/comfort wc: 19k! (i know it's long but its a retribution for the wait time) TW: cm canon violence, FEMALE RAGE, kidnapping, discuss of child trafficking and abuse, discuss of domestic violence, vertigo, discuss of drugs and reader's past (talked in part III) gets disclosure! A/N: i support women's rights and women's wrongs. it's supposed to be jesus reid through the whole chapter but i didn't find a pic that would match. not proofread yet. part I - part II - part III - part IV - masterlist
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
As the elevator doors slid open, you stepped into the hallway of your apartment complex, exhaustion settling deep in your bones from the lack of sleep over the past few nights.
It had been months since you helped Morgan in Chicago. The determination you had shownâsometimes unnecessarilyâand the disclosure of your past to gain Morganâs trust had made you the BAUâs preferred unofficial legal advisor. Whenever they needed legal assistanceâwhether it was a warrant, a last-minute consult, or navigating bureaucratic red tapeâyou were the first person they called. It was never official, never written down anywhere, but the weight of it still lingered, pressing against your already demanding workload.
You werenât complaining, thoughâyou loved to help. And you would never admit that maybe, just maybe, Reidâs presence was a factor in your willingness to do so.
Ever since that conversation on the jetâthe one that had been abruptly cut short when Hotch interruptedâyou hadnât tried to continue it. You had left the seat in front of him, and going back felt⊠strange. Too obvious? Too desperate? What if he didnât want to talk? So you didnât.
Which was incredibly frustrating, because you would have listened to him for hours. Every thought, every opinion, every ridiculous fact he might throw your way.
Still, in that time, you had learned a few things about him. He was brilliantâalmost impossibly so. You had overheard him ramble, though never to you, about the most fascinating things: statistical probabilities, obscure historical events, literary references that seemed to live at the tip of his tongue. His mind was like an endless black hole of knowledge, and the more you listened, the more you wanted to be the one he shared it all with. The more you wanted to crawl inside his head and understand everything about himâthe books he read, the things he liked, his favorite foods, his favorite things in general. Everything. Anything.
But the more time you spent with himâwith the BAU in the middleâthe heavier the guilt sat in your stomach. Someone like him, someone that brilliant, wouldnât turn to drugs because he thought it would be fun or relaxing. Something must have happened. Something bad. And instead of reaching out, instead of trying to talk to him like a normal person, you had freaked out. You had gotten mad. You had acted on impulseâflushing his drugs, shoving a card with a number into his hands without even checking if he understood what it meant.
You had been a monster.
And you didnât know if there was any way to fix it.Â
Anyway⊠you tried not to go down that road too often. Your impulsiveness wasnât entirely your faultâthough if Dr. Fitzgerald were here, she'd make sure you took responsibility for your actions.
Still, Reid didnât seem to hate you or anything. If anything, he was almost⊠friendly. Maybe he was just being polite. Maybe he was wary of youâof what you could do, of what you could become.
You definitely needed a bath. A long one.
One that would take your mind off him, off your spiraling self-doubt.
Though, if you were being honest with yourself, youâd probably just end up thinking about the major case that had landed on your desk months ago.
At first, it seemed like a straightforward prostitution caseâthree men arrested for running a ring. But things took a darker turn when financial records revealed suspicious transactions, and lists of names and ages were hidden under the guise of real estate properties.
On paper, they appeared to be children and teenagers. But no bodies were found. None of the rescued individuals were underage, and every single one of them insisted they hadnât been forced into anything.
You had call transcripts connecting D.C. to Virginia, Maryland, and even Baltimore, but they werenât enough to prove people were being trafficked and sold. You didnât even have a confirmed transportation route. With the evidence you had, the harshest sentence you could secure was 20 yearsâat best.
That wasnât good enough.
You and Austin had been working non-stop, digging for anything that could reopen the case. The police had committed a dumb mistake, totally unintentional, and blamed it on a rookie officer.Â
You werenât so sure.
The trial date was still a month and a half away, and if you didnât find enough evidence to charge them under RICO, youâd be forced to fight for every minor charge you could throw at them.
It was a high-profile case. You knew that. Your boss knew that. Your very proudâbut slightly concernedâparents knew that. Soon, the press would probably know that too.
Did the pressure affect you? Maybe. It added weight to your shoulders, sure, but nothing compared to the pressure you put on yourself.
As you reached your door and unlocked it, the usual sense of ease and relaxation never came. Your body knew it wasnât safe yet.
At first, you told yourself it was nothing. Coincidence. Paranoia. Your mind playing tricks on you after digging too deep into something dangerous.
But then, the little things started adding up.
The unsettling feeling of being watched, the man you were almost certain had followed you during your morning run. Papers on your desk shifted just enough to make you second-guess yourself. A black car parked across the street, there one day, gone the nextâthen back again.
You were methodical. Filed the complaints, knowing full well they'd be ignored. But you did it anyway. It was something to fall back onâa formality, a way to say you tried.
But nothing prepared you for this.
The moment you stepped inside, something felt wrong.
The silence, thicker than usual. The stillness in the air as if it were holding its breath.
Something incredible happens to the brain after it experiences trauma. The amygdala heightens the sensibility to danger helping recognize and avoid potentially harmful situations in the future. It can also enhance emotional resilienceâsome people develop a stronger sense of intuition, quicker reaction times, and a greater ability to read social cues.
Your bag hit the rack. Your coat slipped off your shoulders, but you didnât moveâdidnât breatheâuntil you saw it.
A piece of candy. Then another. And another.
Everywhere.
Scattered across the floor, the counters, the tableâspilling from the cabinets, tumbling from the couch, everywhere.
Your skin prickled. Your stomach twisted. You didn't want to follow the trail, but your feet moved anyway, step by step, against every instinct screaming at you to turn around.
Candy. Candy. Candy.
Crinkling wrappers, glinting under the dim light.
Candy. Candy. Candy.
Your breath came shallow. The air felt thick. Too sweet. Sickly.
Candy. Candy. Candy.
You followed it into the kitchen. More candy.
Piled high, spilling over the edges of the counter, the table, the chairs. The sheer amount of itâobscene, suffocating, grotesque. Like a tide that had rushed in and drowned the room in sugar-coated horror.
Your fingers twitched. Your jaw clenched.
A candy wrapper crinkled. Your body jerkedâbut you hadnât moved. Had you?
You looked down. Your hand. Your fingers, clenched so tightly around something that the foil had crushed against your palm.
Your heart lurched. You didnât pick anything up.
You swallowed, throat dry. Then you saw it. Amidst the mess, perched at the very top of an overflowing heap.
A folded note.
The candy was pressing in, the sweet artificial scent clogging your throat.
Candy. Candy. Candy.
You reached out.
A breath shuddered out of you. Your vision blurred. The room felt smaller, pressing in, squeezing, pulling you backâback to the days when candy was more than just candy. When it meant something else. Something worse.
Your knees locked. Your pulse pounded in your ears.
Candy. Candy. Candy.
You werenât breathing. You couldnât breathe.
The paper crinkled between your fingers as you unfolded it.
Miss me, sugarcube?
âDr. C.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
The night was settling over the city as the bullpen slowly emptied. The BAU had just wrapped up a case in Louisiana, and exhaustion lingered in the air, each agent buried in their own work.
Spencer wasnât paying much attention until Morganâs phone rang.
âWhat's up, Woody?â
That caught his ear. They usually called you. Not the other way around.
A flicker of jealousy sparkedâirrational, unwanted, but there. Morgan had the privilege of calling you by your nickname, not just your name, like it was second nature. Like it meant something.
But that flicker died the second Morganâs posture shifted.
âWhoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on? You have to breââ
Whoever was on the other end cut him off. Morgan sat up straighter, his brow furrowing.
Spencer felt his pulse tick up.
Morgan nodded sharply, already reaching for his jacket. âI'll be there in ten. Is she okay?â
The words hit like a hammer to the chest. You.
Something was wrong.
Reid was on his feet before he even realized it, trailing Morgan as he grabbed Prentissâs arm on the way out.
âWhat happened?â he demanded, voice tighter than he intended.
Morgan didnât answer right away. He was moving too fast.
That only made the knot in Reidâs stomach tighten.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
Morgan's knocking on your door was frantic, sharp raps against the wood that barely left room for a pause. Behind him, Prentiss and Reid stood tense, their eyes flicking toward the door, waiting.
Inside, Austin peered through the peephole before unlocking it, swinging the door open without hesitation.
âI got her to take a shower,â he said, stepping aside to let them in. His voice was steady, but the tightness in his jaw betrayed him.
The apartment felt wrong.
Reid stepped inside, his gaze immediately scanning the space. The lights were on, but there was an eerie stillness, a weight hanging in the air. The scent of something sharpâmaybe soap, maybe something harsherâlingered.
Morgan exhaled, rubbing a hand over his jaw. âWhat the hell happened?â
Austinâs lips pressed into a thin line. He looked toward the hallway, where the faint sound of running water could be heard. âSomeone broke in during the dayâ.Â
Without another word, he turned and walked toward the kitchen. In the middle of the aisle sat a large garbage bag, its top loosely tied. Austin pulled it open, revealing an unsettling sightâpiles of candy, an overwhelming amount. He reached inside, pulled out a small card, and handed it to Morgan.
âThis was scattered all over the place,â Austin said, nodding toward the bag. âAnd this was left with it.â
Morganâs eyes scanned the card, his expression darkening. He turned it over, glancing at Austin, waiting for an explanation.
Austinâs voice was steady but clipped. âDr. C,â he said, the name alone carrying weight. âIt stands for Dr. Calloway.â
Morgan frowned. âWho is that?â
âHe was my foster father.â
Spencer turned at the sound of your voice. You stood in the doorway, wrapped in a long, fluffy white robe, your damp hair clinging to your shoulders. The only skin visible was the curve of your neck, the length of your forearms, and a glimpse of your legs beneath the hem. You clutched the robe tightly against your chest, as if trying to shield yourselfânot just from the cold, but from the lingering presence of what had invaded your space.
âHe used to give those⊠a lot of them, before and after heââ Your voice stuttered, catching on the words, unable to finish.Â
Spencerâs gaze flickered to the kitchen, then back to you, the weight of your words settling heavily. Then, he noticed itâthe raw redness of your skin. Even from across the room, he could see the angry patches where you had scrubbed too hard, as if trying to wash away something that wouldnât come off.
You cleared your throat as best as you could. âWhat did the cameras show?â Your voice was low, raspy, as if it hurt to speak.
Spencer barely registered the words. All he could focus on was your eyesâwide, searching, and for the first time, so⊠small. The sharp edges of your presence were still there, but instead of the formidable woman he knew, you looked like a childâa scared one, cornered with no way out.
Austin sighed, his expression unreadable as he chose his words carefully. âThe staff said the cameras havenât been working for about a week.â
Something in you snapped.
âWhat do you mean they arenât working?â Your voice rose, trembling with anger. âThis place brags about its security system!â You whirled toward the door, fists clenched. âIâm gonna sue them for negligence and breach of contract! Theyâre going toââ
Austin moved fast, already anticipating your reaction. He caught you before you could storm out, arms locking around your waist as he turned you away from the door.
âYou are not going out.â His grip was firm but steady as he spun you to face him, hands settling on your shoulders. His voice softened, but his words struck hard. âYouâre losing focus. Youâre losing perspective. Youâre losing energy.â
It was a mantra he told you every time you were being too impulsive, too reckless, lashing out without thinking. His voice grounded you when you were ready to burn everything down.
You refused to look upâto meet the gazes of Reid, Morgan, or Prentiss. You could already picture their expressions. Judgment at your impulsiveness. Pity at your situation.
You didnât know which was worse.
âWoody I understand this is a lot for you right nowâ Aside from Austin, Morgan was the only awareâpartiallyâof what it meant that note. âWe can help catch whoever did this okay? We'll take this to the rest of the team.â
You nodded, not being sure if that's what you really wanted. âI-â You couldn't help but stutter while swallowing the knot on your throat you forced yourself to. âHe's supposed to be in prison nowâ
Prentiss began scanning the apartment, checking the corners with a trained eye. She ran a gloved hand over the door frame, inspecting the lock closely before crouching near the handle. âNo visible signs of forced entry,â she murmured, more to herself than anyone else.
Morgan asked carefully, âIs there any chance he got out?â
The thought of someone like himâa monsterâwalking free through the streets made you sick. âIâm not sure. His sentence was 20 years, but the charges didnât exclude parole opportunities.â
âDid they break anything else?â Reid asked, his gaze shifting to the shattered glass on the floor.
You shifted your weight uncomfortably from one leg to the other, at the full display of your anger, shaking your head. âNo, Iâum⊠that was me.â He didnât miss the note of shame in your voice as you spoke.Â
âHave you noticed someone following you or watching you, maybe?â Prentiss asked carefully from the entry door.Â
You nodded, exhaling shakily. âYeah, um⊠on my morning runs and outside the courtroom sometimes. Thereâs a folder in my desk.â
Without waiting, you walked in toward your office. As they entered, they took in the mess from the case you were workingâregisters in the floor, files and records pinned in a corkboard, a stark contrast to the rest of your apartment. The mess in here felt intentional, like the chaos inside your head had spilled into the space.
You dropped to your knees in front of the desk, pulling open the bottom drawer. Then, instead of rifling through it, you gripped both sides and yanked it out entirely, setting it aside.
Their eyes followed your movements as you reached down, pressing your fingers against the smooth wood floor until you found what you were looking for. A red folder, hidden beneath the drawer, its worn edges marked with a single sticker that read Austin.
You stood slowly, gripping it tightly before handing it over. âI have copies of every complaint Iâve made over the last couple of months⊠itâs all in here in caseââ
The thought of you leaving proof in case something happened to you made Spencerâs chest tighten. His fingers hesitated for a fraction of a second before he opened the folder.
Inside, neatly stacked yet slightly worn from being handled, were copies of official complaints, incident reports, and personal notes. Dates, locations, descriptions of suspicious figuresâsome written hastily, others with meticulous detail.Â
Before he could say anything, Morgan spoke up. âDo you know if they took anything from here?â
You shook your head. âIt looks normal, and if they did take something, I have copies of everything in my office.â You paused for a moment, thinking. âDid you find anything at the hospital?â you asked, turning to Austin.
He shook his head. âThey insisted on a warrant, but a nurse said she could help me if I came back tonight.â
A sigh of exhaustion left your lips as Morgan glanced between the two of you. âThen why donât you just get a warrant?â he asked, his tone laced with confusion.
The question made you tense up.
You and Austin exchanged a wary look before you answered carefully. âWeâre conducting an investigation that has to stay off the record.â
âWhat do you mean âhas to stayâ?â Reid asked, his brows knitting together.
âItâs a case Iâm prosecuting, but we think itâs bigger than whatâs on paper, and we canât prove it yet,â you explained, crossing your arms as you stood. âWeeks ago, some evidence was âmislabeledââsat in storage for weeks before anyone realized. The police chalked it up to a clerical mistake, and now theyâre insisting on closing it.â
Morgan exhaled sharply, glancing at Austin. âAnd you think someone did it on purpose?â
Austin nodded. âThereâs too many coincidences. Too many people trying to shut this down.â
Morgan nodded in understanding. âTomorrow, weâll tell the rest of the team about this. Itâd be best if you didnât go out muchâstay indoors as much as possible.â
You shook your head immediately, running a hand over your forehead. âI canât. I have to go to work tomorrow. I have a trial.â Your voice was firm, unwavering. You werenât about to let someone else control your life. Not again.
Reid, who had been silent up until now, felt his mind start running the numbers. He calculated the probabilities of something happening to you if you insisted on going to workâfactoring in everything they knew. Your stalkerâs escalation pattern, his growing confidence, geographical profiling probabilities based on your work location. The percentage of workplace homicides committed by known aggressors versus strangers. The statistical likelihood of an abduction attempt in broad daylight versus early morning or late evening.
The numbers werenât in your favor.
The higher the risk, the tighter the knot in his stomach became. Rationally, he knew he couldnât control your choices, but emotionally, the thought of you walking straight into danger made his pulse quicken.
He swallowed and called your name softly. âItâs too dangerous for you.â
âIf heâs watching and I donât go to work, heâll think heâs in control.â You met Reidâs gaze, and for a moment, the numbers ceased to matter. The statistics, the probabilitiesânone of it held weight against the quiet determination in your voice. You werenât demanding, just asking. Asking to hold onto some semblance of control over your own reality.
Austin, who had promised long ago to stand by your side, spoke up. âThe courtroom and the D.A.âs office are always packed with officers. Plus, if we escort her, heâll see us and maybe back off.â
Or get even angrier, Reid thought. The probability of escalation was highâtoo highâbut when he looked at you, at the way you squared your tense shoulders despite the fear you were barely keeping at bay, he knew you already understood the risk. You were scared, that much was obvious. But you refused to let that fear dictate your actions. And maybe that terrified him more than any statistic ever could.
Prentiss re-entered the room, her gloved hands brushing against the doorframe. âThe lock wasnât forced, but the scratches on the latch suggest someone picked it.â She gestured toward the window. âAnd there are faint scuff marks on the sill, like someone checked it as a secondary entry point.â
You nodded. "So it's not safe for me to stay here, is it?" Even if it was, you werenât sure youâd ever feel safe here again.
Morgan, Reid, and Prentiss exchanged hesitant glances. Eventually, Morgan let out a deep breath, looking at you with concern. "We can set up surveillance outside, keep a close watch. But you need to think about what you want, too. If you donât feel safe here, weâll figure something out."
You hesitated for a moment, feeling the weight of the uncertainty pressing down on you. Spencer could see it in your eyes, and it ached him to realize that you didnât feel safe in your own home.Â
Austin noticed the hesitation too and, without another word, made the decision for you. âFix a bag with what you need. If you forget something, we can come back together, you are staying at my place.â he said, his voice steady and firm.
You nodded slowly, the practicality of the suggestion grounding you, but the knot in your stomach tightened. The idea of leaving felt like a step further into something you couldnât control, but at least it was a step toward safetyâtoward some semblance of normalcy.
As you turned toward your bedroom, you felt a flicker of gratitude for Austinâs unwavering presence. Spencerâs gaze followed you, his concern etched deep into his features, but he remained silent, understanding that you needed space to process it all.
As they were walking out of your office, something caught Reidâs attentionâa small yellow post-it note buried among the clutter. The handwriting was nearly indecipherable, but the quote stood out:
"To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's."
He recognized it instantlyâDostoevsky.
Almost reaching your bedroom, you suddenly froze. A realization hit you like a punch to the gut. Someone had been sending you baskets of candy and chocolate for monthsâalways without a card. You had dismissed it every time, taking them to the park to share with the kids. The kids.
âAustin!â you called out, horror tightening your throat.
He was by your side in an instant. âWhat? What is it?â
âThe c-candy⊠we have toââ
âIâm getting rid of all of it, donât worry,â he said, grabbing your trembling hands.
âNo! You donât understand.â You shook your head frantically. âYou have to test them. See if they were spiked or something.â
Understanding dawned in his eyes, and he nodded, his grip on your hands tightening.
âIâll call your dad, tell him to get them tested first thing in the morning,â he reassured you.
"Tested how? Why?" Spencer asked, his sharp gaze flicking between you and Austin, picking up on every detailâthe stiffness in your posture, the way your fingers twitched like they wanted to curl into fists. The horror in your eyes.
You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. You should have had an answer, a perfectly structured explanation. But your mind wasnât cooperating. The words tangled, stuck somewhere between logic and memory. If you said it out loud, it would be real. And if it was real, thenâ
Austin moved, getting you into your bedroom before you could even try to force something out.
"Sit down," he said, his voice softer now but edged with quiet urgency. "Take a breath, and when you feel ready, pack a bag."
He stepped out, finally giving you a moment of silence. Outside, he joined Morgan and Prentiss, their conversation hushed but focused as they mapped out their next move.
Ten minutes later, they had a planâAustin would relay all necessary information about you to Garcia and JJ. But Spencer wasnât listening. Not really. His mind was elsewhere, caught on you and how you were holding up. He didnât want to intrude, not while Morgan and Prentiss were deep in discussion, but his gaze kept drifting to your door.
Slowly, he approached, noticing it was slightly ajar. The dim light from inside spilled into the hallway, offering him a glimpse of your spaceâneat, controlled, yet somehow fragile. He hesitated, then knocked softly, calling your name.
No answer.
A flicker of unease tightened his chest. He knew you needed space, but silence had never felt so heavy. Pushing past his hesitation, he stepped inside.
You were curled up on the window seat, dressed in loose black sweatpants and a gray T-shirt. The window was half-open, a faint cold breeze stirring the fabric of the curtains, cooling your senses down. Your back was turned to him, your hand moving absently over the soft fur of a gray cat curled against your thigh.
Reid hesitated, watching you for a moment. There was something fragile about the way you sat there, staring out at the night. The weight of the evening still clung to you, but the catâs quiet presence seemed to ground youâif only just.
He took a careful step forward. âHey,â he said gently.
He startled you, making you jump clumsily in the seat. The sudden movement spooked the stray cat perched on the windowsill, its fur bristling as it let out a sharp hiss. In its panic, it lashed out, claws swiping against the back of your hand before bolting.
You flinched, instinctively pulling your hand close to your chest as the cat leapt from the ledge and disappeared into the night. A bright line of red was already forming where its claws had caught you.
âIâm sorry, Iââ he started, but you quickly cut him off.
âItâs okay. I didnât hear you coming.â Your voice was quiet but gentle, like you didnât want him to feel bad for it.
He opened his mouth, then closed it again, unsure of what to sayâunsure of how to reach you through whatever you were going through. Finally, he settled on the only thing that came to mind. âWhatâs its name?â
That earned him a small, tired smile, and for a brief moment, he thought he might have done something right. âUmâhe sorta came with the place,â you admitted, glancing back at the empty windowsill. âI just call him Stray.â
Spencerâs brows furrowed slightly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. âYou named a stray cat âStrayâ?â His voice held a hint of humor, soft but genuine.
You couldnât help but feel a warmth spread in your chest at the sound of it. âYeahâŠâ you replied with a lighter tone. âHe owns up to his name.â You raised your right hand a little, showing him the long scratch on the back of it, as if to prove it.
He pressed his lips together, rocking back and forth on his feet nervously. âSorry again,â he muttered, his voice soft.
You shook your head, a small smile tugging at your lips. âItâs fine, he just got scared.â You glanced back toward the window where the cat was tentatively returning. You placed your hand a few inches away from him, watching as the stray slowly approached. It only took a second before he leaned against your hand, purring softly and licking the scratch he had done, as if he felt guilty and was apologizing.
âHeâs been coming around since I first moved in years ago,â you said, your voice gentle as you scratched the back of the catâs ears, causing it to purr louder. âIt took me an entire year, some food, and a lot of scratches and patience to get him this comfortable.â
You smiled a little at the softness of the moment, but the warmth faded just as quickly as it came. The reality of it all crashed back down on youâthis place you called home had been invaded, your sense of security stolen. Again.
âI have to move out right?â the thought of leaving Stray alone and without food pained you.Â
Spencer saw the shift in your expression at his nod, the way your shoulders sagged and your eyes darkened with exhaustion. He hated that look on your face, hated the weight of it. Desperate to pull you away from the spiraling thoughts, he let his gaze sweep across the room, searching for somethingâanythingâto get you out of it.Â
âDid you go to Harvard?â Reid asked, his eyes landing on a framed picture sitting on the bookshelf.
In the photo, a younger version of you stood between your parents, your diploma in hand. Your mother held a crimson banner with the universityâs name in gold, while your father wore a red sweater emblazoned with a bold yellow âH.â
âYeah. Law school. Though I look awful in those pictures,â you admitted.
You were 18 in them, and in your opinion, it wasnât your best moment. The smudge eyeliner and dark clothesâan attempt to make yourself look unapproachableâclashed awkwardly with the family-intended picture. Besides, college wasnât exactly a time you looked back on fondly.
Thankfully, you had outgrown the phase of needing to prove yourself. Sort of.
Reid, however, thought you looked pretty. Despite the heavy makeup that aged you, he could still see the youth in your featuresâthe sharp intelligence in your eyes, the quiet determination. He wanted to ask more. At what age had you graduated high school? How had your teenage years in college been? Were they anything like hisâlonely, spent buried in books?
You stood from the window seat, moving to zip up the bag you had packed for the next few days at Austinâs. Your gaze flickered to the closet, pausing briefly on the dress hanging behind the door.
Prentiss knocked lightly before stepping in with a small smile. âReady to go?â Her eyes landed on the dress. âOh, thatâs fancy.â
It was. The dark purple silk draped elegantly, the halter top flattering yet professional, the long skirt flowing with just the right amount of sophistication. You and your mom had picked it out together for an important dinnerâshe had insisted you needed something that made you feel beautiful.
You exhaled, brushing a hand over the fabric. âYeah⊠It was for a work dinner. But I guess I finally found the perfect excuse not to go.â
You grabbed the bag and walked out of the room, Spencer and Prentiss leading the way. With one last glance over your shoulder, you reached for the light switch, casting the space into darkness before quietly closing the door behind you.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
Walking into the bullpen of the BAU felt like stepping into a pressure chamberâevery glance, every hushed conversation carrying the weight of unspoken questions. You werenât just another visitor; you were the case. The reason for the extra tension in the air.Â
Morgan led the way, having picked you and Austin up for security reasonsâAustinâs bike wasnât exactly the safest option. The briefing room felt suffocating, the air thick with unspoken concern. You tried to ignore the warmth creeping up your back, the telltale sign of exhaustion clawing at you. Sleep had been scarce last night, and the extra-bitter coffee in your hand was doing little to keep you grounded.
Everyone was already there when the three of you arrived. Their eyes flicked toward you, subtle yet piercing, like they could see right through you. You hated this feelingâvulnerability wrapping itself around you like a second skin. Have you ever walked into a room and felt like a lamb walking straight to the slaughter? You swallowed the knot in your throat and forced out the proper good mornings, your voice steadier than you expected.
Some habits never leave you. Like the art of avoiding physical touchâsomething youâd perfected in your teenage years. Always keeping your hands full, whether with books, files, or a cup of coffee. A strategic shield, paired with an apologetic smile when someone offered their hand, as if to say, Oh, Iâd shake, but my hands are full. Sorry. Every movement calculated, arbitrarily staged, yet second nature by now.
And yes you could perfectly just say no to a simple handshake but playing against the rules wouldn't have gotten you anywhere.Â
You stayed at the back of the room, leaning against the wall, trying to avoid the pitying looks from the team. JJ began explaining how, over the last few months, you had been stalkedâsomeone had followed your routine, watching your every move.
Images appeared on the screen, displaying your apartment filled with candy. Your stomach twisted at the sight, and you quickly averted your eyes, staring out toward the bullpen instead. JJ continued, explaining how the situation was even more concerning given that your personal address wasnât listed in any public recordsâprecautions you had taken after past incidents.
âThere was a note left behind,â she said, pressing a button to reveal a close-up of the paper on the screen. The message was short but chilling.
ââDr. C.ââ JJ read aloud. âIt stands for Doctor Calloway.â
Garcia chimed in, her voice devoid of its usual warmth. âDoctor Dean Calloway is a convicted felon. Over twenty years ago, he and his wife, Michelle Calloway, ran a foster home. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison for child neglect and public assistance fraud in Wallens Ridge State Prison.âÂ
The picture of him on the TV makes your legs go weak. His cold, piercing eyesâthe same ones that had once looked at you with a twisted, possessive kind of loveâmake you feel like you want to rip your skin off, just to escape the memory of them.
Hotch frowned at the pictures. âAnd whatâs the significance of the candy?â
You cleared your throat, knowing this was an important detail you had to clarify. âCalloway wasâisâa child molester.â
The silence that settled over the room was suffocating, pressing down on your chest like a weight.
âHe used to call me like that and drug me on the nights heââ Your voice wavered, threatening to crack, but you forced yourself to continue. âI never knew how or with what. All I know is that he made me eat thousands of those, maybe to hide the taste of whatever he was using.â
You swallowed hard, the weight of their eyes pressing against you, seeing through the cracks you tried so hard to keep together.
âHis license was revoked after his conviction,â you added, your tone carefully measured, though your hands clenched at your sides, wanting to stop the trembling. âAnd I never had enough proof to go after him.â
A heavy silence followed, the air thick with unspoken thoughts. The team exchanged glancesâunderstanding, anger, maybe even guilt for not realizing sooner. You werenât sure which was worse.
Hotch was the first to break the silence. His voice was steady but edged with something close to anger. âIf heâs been sending you these messages, then heâs either out or has someone on the outside working for him.â
Reid shifted on his seat, his hands clasped tightly in front of him. âCalloway was sentenced to thirty years. Even with good behavior, he shouldnât be out yet.â
Garciaâs fingers flew over her keyboard, her usual warmth replaced by urgency. âApparently, Wallens Ridge had a fault in their security system three days ago, making it really easy for a whole lot of very bad people to escape.â
âThree days ago?â Morganâs voice was incredulous. âThe stalkingâs been going on for almost two months. Why didnât we hear about this sooner?â
âThey say theyâre not sure who specifically got out,â Garcia responded, her fingers pausing over the keys. âThe place is huge, so theyâre still updating the fugitives list.â
âI never told anyone about the candy,â you said, your voice thick with the weight of the revelation. âHeâs the only one who couldâve known about that.â Your mind raced, trying to piece together any possible logical explanation.
âUnless he has someone on the outside, someone whoâs been following you,â Rossi suggested, and his words made your skin feel clammy.Â
âOr there are two different stalkers,â Austin added, his gaze focused on you. âIt wouldnât be the first time a case backfired, especially if people have been watching you for other reasons.â
âSo, weâre talking about two UnSubs?â Prentiss asked, her brow furrowing in thought.
You nodded slowly, the weight of the situation sinking in deeper. âItâs a high-stakes case. A lot of powerful people are expecting it to be closed and moved to trial as soon as possible. If something goes wrongâŠâ You trailed off, feeling the invisible pressure of it all.
Hotch looked at you, his gaze intense and almost protective. âWhat kind of case is it?.â
You placed the file down on the table, your fingers brushing over it as you tried to keep your voice steady, but the weight of everything pressing down on you made it hard. You could feel the roomâs tension shift, everyone leaning in, focused on your every word.
âThe police investigated what on paper are prostitution houses,â you continued, your tone serious, âleading to the arrest of four menâtwo of them were real estate agents as a cover-up.â You paused for a moment, glancing at the file again, then at the faces of your team, your voice steadying as you pressed on. âAll the victims we managed to rescue are adults who claim they werenât being exploited. But when I went to check the financial records of these real estate agents, I found a ton of transactions tied to a series of properties they owned. The weird part? It was incredibly difficult to get access to the catalogue of properties, and none of them have a real, tangible address.âÂ
"At first, I didnât think much of it, but then I realizedâeach property is actually a person theyâre selling. Itâs a human catalogue disguised as real estate listings." You knew you probably sounded crazy, but recognizing patterns and hidden meanings had always been how you survived.
"If a property is listed for rent, itâs prostitution. If itâs for sale only, itâs trafficking. A single-story house means the victim is a minor, while two or more floors likely indicate an adult. A garage means itâs a girl, no garage means itâs a boy. I think a porch signifies plastic surgery. And the descriptions of the walls and floors? They match the victimâs physical characteristics."
You laid out the pictures from the folder across the table, arranging them with a methodical precision. "These are the rescued victims. All of them are adults, former prostitutes, found in houses packed with bedrooms."
Then, you placed photos of houses and their corresponding descriptions beneath each victimâs picture. "Look at this one. Dark skin, dark eyes. And this house? Walnut floors, two stories, only available for rent, and it has a garage." You tapped the listing with growing certainty. "They arenât selling homes. Theyâre selling people."
The team exchanged looks, some curious, others frowning with concern. Morgan was the first to speak. "How certain are you about this?"
"About 80%. Finding consistent leads has been really difficult," you explained, trying to keep your voice steady.
Hotch leaned forward, his expression sharp. "What does the DA say about all of this?"
You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. âShe⊠doesnât know. Sheâs planning her retirement and wants me to run for her position so I can âfollow her legacy.â She thinks this case could secure my electionâand sheâll be telling everyone that at the Annual Winter Gala for the District Attorneyâs office tonight,â you explained carefully. âIf I find proof that the case has crossed state lines, it would automatically fall under the Department of Justiceâs jurisdiction, leaving our office completely out of it.â
âLet us help,â Emily stated firmly.
Hotch nodded in agreement. âGarcia can look into this further to see if she uncovers anything else. Meanwhile, the rest of us will split up. JJ, Rossi, and Prentiss will focus on finding Calloway, profiling where he could be hiding, and the other half will stay with you, just in case.â
You hesitated but didn't decline knowing it was the best shot you had.Â
âAnd it would be better if you stayed home,â Hotch said tentatively.
âAbsolutely not,â you snapped, barely holding back the venom in your voice. âI have cases to handle and a trial in two hoursâI canât just sit around doing nothing.â
He nodded as if he already knew your answer, but still insisted that you not go to the Gala. You didnât complain; you barely wanted to go anyway.
The thought of staying home, of locking yourself inside like some helpless prey, made your stomach churn. You werenât a child anymore, werenât that drugged, defenseless girl he could control. If Calloway showed up, you wouldnât freeze. You wouldnât run.
No, youâd put him down like the rabid animal he was.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
Going through sexual abuse leaves a deep, lingering sense of desperation. Last night, you scrubbed your skin with everything you had, trying to erase the phantom touch of ghost hands. It never worked, though. The sensation stayed, haunting you no matter how hard you tried to wash it away.
Being a survivor also carries a heavy burden of guilt. You knew, logically, it wasnât your faultâwhat happened to you wasnât something you could control. But the aftermath, the side effects of being drugged nearly every night, still clung to you, refusing to let you forget.
The familiar hallways of the DAâs office offered a fleeting sense of normalcy, a place where you could breathe a little deeper without your chest aching so badly. It wasnât perfect, but it was something.
Fresh from the courtroom, you felt like you finally had some semblance of control over your lifeâat least for a little while, without the suffocating presence of a stalker lurking in the shadows. Morgan and Reid had been accompanying you all day, which was both mildly embarrassing and infuriating. The idea of people thinking you needed babysitters made your skin crawl.
On the other hand, Spencer couldnât have been more eager to stay by your side. He hated the circumstances, hated the way you refused to meet his or Morganâs gaze, but more than anything, he hated the way your hands trembledâno matter how hard you squeezed them together or tried to hide it. He wanted to reach out, to take your hands in his, to offer you somethingâanythingâto anchor you.
He couldnât even begin to imagine what it was like to have your past dissected and laid bare on a table for everyone to see. If just hearing you say Calloway had drugged you had made his stomach twist with sickness, he couldnât fathom what it had done to you. So if you couldnât look at him, he understood. He just wished he could hold you instead.
Watching you in court had been mesmerizing. Then again, everything about you captivated him.
Almost at your office, a sharp voice cut through the hallway. âCounselor!â
Spencer immediately tensed, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Morganâs hand instinctively move to his holster.
You turned at the sound, already bracing yourself and recognizing the voice from Defense Attorney Bennet. Just the sight of him made your stomach tighten, and the way your jaw tensed and your nose twitched slightlyâa near-wince before you masked itâdidnât go unnoticed by Reid.
Bennet strolled toward you with his usual smugness, and you barely resisted the urge to take a step back.
âNo deal.â Your voice was flat, dismissive. His client had been arrested for attempted murderâof his own wife, in front of their children. The woman had come to you, fear in her eyes, begging you to make sure he wouldnât get out and try to hurt her again.
Bennet didnât seem fazed. âI'm not looking for one. My client isn't guilty.,â he said smoothly, as if that was enough to make you care.Â
You exhaled sharply through your nose, the corners of your lips threatening to curl in distaste. âYour client belongs in a pine box... but I will settle for an 8-by-10 cell where he can rot until he dies.â
"Don't get ahead of yourself, Ms. Woodvale. He was under a lot of stress due to his demanding workload, which caused him anxiety and insomnia," he says smoothly, as if that excuse isnât absolutely ridiculous.
You catch a glimpse of Morgan and Reid stepping into your office. Exhaling sharply, already fed up, you fix him with a cold stare. "I have anxiety and insomnia. I donât go around shooting people."
You turned on your heel and got inside your office, you shut the door with more force than necessary. âIâm sorry for thââ A yawn caught you off guard, cutting off your words as you let your forehead rest against the cool surface of the door.Â
"Do you want some coffee?" Spencer offered, his voice so gentle that, for a moment, your shoulders eased ever so slightly.
"Uhâyeah, thank you," you said, watching as he moved toward the small table where the machine sat. Then, quickly, before he could pour, you added, "No sugar, please."
The thought of sweetness on your tongue made your stomach twist. On a normal day, you couldn't stand it. But today? Today, when the fact that Calloway was still out there felt like a breath against the back of your neck? You werenât willing to find out how youâd react.
Across the room, Spencer nodded, his fingers brushing over the sugar packets before he left them untouched. He finally understood. The incident in Chicago, the way you had recoiled, the way you'd run. He clung to every fragment of insight he could gather from you, anything that wasnât in a file.
Caleb, Mollyâs temporary replacement, entered your office without knocking, looking harriedâlike heâd just remembered something important, or more likely, forgotten something crucialâCaleb nearly tripped over himself as he spotted you.
"Miss Woodvale," he started, already sounding defensive, "I was just about toâ"
You didnât have the patience. With a sigh, you reached into your bag and pulled out a folded sheet of paper, pressing it into his hands.
"I need two things, and I need them before midnight," you said, your tone clipped. "First, look up any prior convictions for Daniel Rogersâeverything, even sealed records if you can access them. Second, type up a subpoena for the evidence request I noted down."
Caleb blinked at the paper, then back at you. "A subpoena? Like⊠now?"
You leveled him with a stare. "Yes, Caleb. Now. Before I have to argue in court for evidence I should already have."
"Right! Right. On it." He gripped the paper like it might disappear from his hands.
"Caleb," you added before he could rush off. He turned back, looking hopeful.
"Sign it under my name before filing. Properly."
"Of course! Totally on it."
You watched him scurry away and exhaled sharply. You shouldâve just done it yourself.
Spencer handed you the cup of coffee, and the brief touch of his fingers against yours sent a small tingle through your skinâjust enough to take the edge off, to let you breathe a little easier.
"Where's your usual girl?" Morgan asked, nodding toward the door.
"Molly's on maternity leave. Sheâs got three weeks left." You sighed. Three weeks with someone incompetent felt like thirty years.
Morganâs phone buzzed, and he stepped out to take the call, leaving you alone with Reid. Ignoring the nerves creeping up your spine at the thought, you turned and made your way to the back of your office. As you pushed the door open, the room beyond was revealedâa chaotic mess, not unlike the study in your apartment.
He followed you inside, and for the first time, the sight of the mess actually embarrassed you. You shifted uncomfortably. âSorry for the mess.â
âDonât worry,â he said with a soft smile, his eyes scanning the board. His brows furrowed. âWhy is the map unmarked?â
âIâuhââ You took a sip of your coffee, stalling. Admitting this felt ridiculous. âIâm not very good with directions. Or maps in general⊠I was going to ask Austin for help, but I always forget.â You hated how left and right sometimes blended together in your head, how frustrating and embarrassing it was.
âLet me do it,â he offered.
Your first instinct was to refuse, but he stepped closer before you could protest. âI do the geographical profiles for the BAU. Iâm good at reading maps.â
Something about the way he looked at youâpuppy eyes, long hair framing his faceâmade it hard to say no. Or maybe it was just him. And you couldnât say no to him.
"Those are the directions," you gesture toward the board just as your phone rings. Seeing Austinâs name on the screen, you pick up.
"Good news, Woody. The candy wasnât spiked, and I doubt the rest of the baskets were either."
A weight you didnât realize you were holding in your chest suddenly lifts. The thought of someone twisting something as simple as sharing candyâsomething that once brought you comfortâinto a potential nightmare had been unbearable.
You exhale, murmuring a thank you as Austin reassures you theyâll catch him. When you hang up and relay the news to Spencer, he gives you a small smile, his focus still on the map. Then, as he places a thumbtack, something clicks in his mind.Â
"How did you get the lab to run the test that fast?" he asks, glancing over at you. The average turnaround time for something like that would usually be at least a couple of days, even for a small lab.
You shrug. "My dadâs a chemist. He runs a lab, so... it wasnât hard to get him to push a few tests through."
The irony isnât lost on youâhow your birth parents had also run a lab, except theirs was a meth lab. And now, youâd been raised by someone who ran a legitimate one. Fate had a cruel sense of humor.
Another piece of you gets stored forever, engraved in Spencerâs mind, and the way youâre being so⊠casual with him makes his chest warm.
âIâm sorry you canât go to that party tonight.â
âOh, itâs fine, really. I wasnât exactly thrilled to get pampered around by my boss, making promises on my behalf.â You lean against the wall.
âYeah, social environments arenât my thing either,â he says, placing the last thumbtack on the map. âSo, you donât want to be the DA?â
You take a second to think. âI know itâs a big position, and it would be great for my career. My boss is always saying the tabloids would go crazyâshe can already see the headlines with my name on it. And I know it opens a lot of doors, butâŠâ You trail off. âIt comes with things I donât want to do, like playing politics. Iâm not interested in that. Iâd barely even step foot in a courtroom, and I want to help people. Bring closure. Maybe even some peace, if I can.â
Spencer watches you as you speak with such passion. For a moment, your eyes donât look as haunted. Your words seem to carry a weight heâs never seen before, and the strand of hair falling over your face is so tempting for him to tuck behind your ear. Itâs as if a magnetic force is pulling him closer.Â
He smiles at you, opening his mouth to respond, but his phone rings. âI got something for you about our secret mission,â says Garcia on the other line when he picks up and puts her on speaker.
âSo, I tracked the license plate from the arrested man. Stumbled upon somethingâtwo of them always went periodically to a location where there are no cameras around. Itâs pretty far, almost at the border with Maryland,â Garcia continues.
âIs there anything over there?â you ask, feeling a slight sense of urgency.
âItâs a pretty abandoned area, but from a street view program, apparently, thereâs a warehouse over the Cicero street,â she replies. âI sent you the location.â
Spencer thanks her, but before he hangs up, Garcia adds, âRossi picked up Morgan from there. A street camera caught someone who looks like Calloway near the Capitol.â
Your breath catches in your chest for a moment as the weight of her words sink in. You exhale slowly, Spencer hangs up and you speak urgently. âWe have to go check that warehouse.â
You see hesitation in his eyes âPlease?
He nods, but the hesitation doesnât leave his eyes. He doesnât want to go alone without the team, but something shifts when he notices the tremor in your hand. It was slightly worse than before, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he decided not to mention it, knowing that pushing you away now wouldn't help.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
Arriving at the warehouse, you felt anticipation creeping through your bones, an almost electric tension settling in your chest. You were closeâso close that whatever detail had been slipping through your fingers had to be right in front of you.
The aged wooden floor groaned beneath your boots, the sound swallowed by the vast emptiness of the space. Dust floated in the slanted beams of light filtering through broken windows, and the air smelled of damp wood and rusted metal.
If Spencer cursed, he would have done it the moment you didnât wait for him to clear the area first. Instead, he sprinted to your side, his breath sharp as he yanked his gun from his holster, his fingers tightening around the grip.
The place had two floors, surrounded by nothing but dry, brittle trees. Looking back, you wished you could say you had been cautious, but the events of the day had started to numb your judgment. There was no hesitation when the door didnât budgeâyou shoved your shoulder against it without a second thought.
Spencer inhaled sharply behind you, his voice cutting through the stagnant air.
He called your name as a warning, his tone edged with unease. And if you had time for waiting you would've picked on the hint of fear in his voice.Â
The door gave in, and you stepped inside immediately. The interior was somehow worse than the outsideâhumidity clung to the rotting wood, the scent of decay thick in the air. The space was lined with tiny bedrooms, each one filled with small beds. The sight made your stomach turn. You didnât need to imagine what had happened here; the walls practically whispered it.
âYou go check upstairs, Iâll check here,â you said, already moving.
âWe should wait for backup.â Spencer's voice was firm, his grip on his gun tightening.
"This place is abandoned," you countered, dismissing his concern before he could argue further. He sent Garcia a quick message as you moved through the rooms quicklyâmost were the same, two beds, a small closet, nothing significant.
Until the last room.
It was different. A desk sat by a small, cracked window, standing out among the neglect. You crossed the room immediately, opening every drawer, rifling through them with practiced efficiency. But there wasnât much. Loose papers. A few pens. Dust coating the insides.
Then, just as you were about to move onâsomething.
Tucked in the very back of the bottom drawer. A flash drive.
Your fingers barely brushed against it whenâ crack.
A footstep. A snap of dry wood behind you.
Your pulse slammed into overdrive. Every muscle tensed, locking you in place for a fraction of a secondâjust long enough to see a blue shadow move between the trees, fast, deliberate. They had something in their hand. They took something from the desk.
And then your body moved before your mind could catch up. You bolted.
The cold air burned your throat as you tore through the doorway, barely registering Spencer shouting your name behind you. The forest was a blurâbranches whipping past, the earth uneven beneath your feet, every instinct screaming at you to keep going, keep your eyes locked on the figure ahead.Â
Then it hit.
A wave of vertigo crashed into you like a freight train when you were jumping off a rock.
The world lurched.
Trees stretched and twisted, the ground tilting violently beneath you. Your stomach turned, and suddenly there was no up, no downâjust a sickening pull as your balance shattered.
Your foot slipped.
You didnât fall so much as collapse, legs giving out as the world spun in a dizzying, nauseating spiral. Your shoulder slammed into the dirt first, then your head, the impact ringing through your skull like a gunshot making you groan in frustration and dizziness.Â
Distantly, you could still hear Spencer yelling. His voice was closer now, urgent, frantic.
You tried to push yourself up, but the world wouldnât stop moving. The trees swayed, the ground rolled beneath you, and the sickening weight of disorientation kept you pinned where you fell.
The sirens screamed in the distance, but all you could hear was the pounding of your own heartbeat, loud and erratic in your ears. The earth tilted beneath you as you tried to push yourself up, twigs and dirt digging into your scraped palms.Â
Right now, Spencer could only see himself in youâthat reckless, desperate version of himself from two years ago. The one who told JJ they didnât have time to wait. The one who ended up at the mercy of Tobias Hankel. Right now, those magnetsâthe ones that should have drawn you togetherâwere mirroring instead. And magnets that mirror donât attract. They repel.
The nausea surged again, your stomach twisting violently as you heard Spencerâs footsteps closing in.
âWhat the hell do you think youâre doing?!â
His voice, along with some police sirens, cut through the ringing in your ears, sharp and edged with frustration, but you could barely focus on it. The ground felt unsteady beneath you, as if the earth itself was shifting. You blinked hard, trying to ground yourself, but the pressure in your skull only worsened.
Spencer didnât noticeâdidnât see the way your fingers dug into the dirt just to keep yourself upright. All he saw was a reckless choice, the same mistake he had made, playing out all over again. And it terrified him.
"I almost had him!" you shot back, breathless, the words slurring slightly as the world swayed again when you stood up again.
"You ran off alone!" His voice cracked, raw with frustration. âYou have no idea of the hundred things that can happen when you go alone in the field! You are not even an agent or a police officer!â
The words hit like a whip, laced with something deeper than angerâfear. But your head was spinning too much to fire back. The ringing in your ears pulsed in and out like waves crashing over you, swallowing his words before you could fully process them.
You thought you saw another figure moving toward youâjust a flicker of motion in your blurred vision, a shadow against the trees. The ringing in your ears drowned out everything else, making Spencerâs voice feel distant, like he was speaking through water.
âWoody!â
Morganâs voice cut through the static, sharp and urgent. You barely registered the moment he reached youâhis presence was solid, groundingâbut the nausea clawed at your stomach, threatening to pull you under again.
âSomeoneâa blue jacket wasââ you tried, but the words barely scraped past your throat, your breathing uneven, shallow. You forced yourself to stay upright, to push through the dizziness, but Morganâs hands were already on you, steadying, his gaze scanning your face with concern.
âThey⊠they took something from the house. I donât knââ Your voice broke off as another wave of vertigo surged through you.
Morganâs grip tightened, firm but not harsh. âYou donât look good, Woody. Sit down before you fall down.â He guided you down against a tree with your knees to your chest.Â
âIâm fine, itâs justâthis vertigo shit, Iââ The lie barely made it past your lips before the ground tilted violently beneath you. You staggered, your vision swam, and this timeâthere was nothing you could do to stop it. You swallowed hard, but it did nothing to stop the nausea clawing up your throat. âIâI just need a second.â
As if he snapped off his frustration. Spencer crouched down in front of you, eyes scanning your face, his own panic shifting into something else. âJust take a deep breathe,â he said, and now it wasnât frustration in his voiceâit was realization.Â
You blinked at him, but the edges of your vision were still blurry. You hated this. Hated feeling weak in front of him, hated that your body had betrayed you at the worst possible moment.
âIâm fine,â you muttered, even as another wave of vertigo made you squeeze your eyes shut.
Spencer wasnât buying it. And suddenly, he felt so much shame over how he hadn't even helped you out because heâd been so caught up in his own fear, his own anger, that he hadnât even seen you struggling.
And that scared him just as much as watching you run into danger alone.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
Once again in the BAU bullpen, you had finally recovered from the vertigo, knowing it was brought on by stress and anxiety.
While you had been struggling, the rest of the team had sprinted through the woods, searching for the person you saw. JJ was the one who found a crumpled, half-burned document about 50 meters away from the house. As for the figure in the blue jacketâthere was still no trace.
The files contained lists of properties, and they were marked with prices. For the looks of it, you sensed they could indicate age or maybe height but you didn't get much opportunity to look into it. As for the flash drive, Garcia had taken it to analyze.Â
They had told you that the one man they caught on a street camera thinking it was Calloway was just a false alarm, meaning he was still free, you hated feeling like a prey again.
Austin was crouched in front of your chair, watching you carefully.
"I'm fine. And we both know itâs just because my body doesnât handle stress well," you muttered, taking a sip of the gatorade he handed you. You were no stranger to vertigo and dizzinessâepisodes that had come and gone over the yearsâbut this one felt different. More intense, more unsettling. A doctor had once told you, years ago, that it could be a lingering side effect from drug abuse.
"Just eat," he said, opening a paper bag and setting it beside you.
You sighed, grabbing the sandwich but leaving the small cardboard box inside. Breaking the sandwich in half, you offered him a piece, but he shook his head. Rolling your eyes, you spun your desk chair to face JJ instead.
"Want half my sandwich? Iâm not going to finish it."
She frowned slightly but quickly answered, "Oh, thank you." Taking a bite, her eyes widened. "Oh my god, this is really good," she said, covering her mouth as she chewed.
Smiling, you took a bite yourself. "My momâs a chef. She likes to send me food sometimes, and since she knows I like sharing, she always sends extra."
JJ hummed in approval before handing a piece to Prentiss, who had the same reaction.Â
Just then, Hotch entered the room with Garcia and Spencer behind him. Garcia grabbed the remote and turned on the TV showing the FBI logo.
âMy lovely ducks this flash drive was cripting nightmare. But! as your dear tech colorful genius I got it.â She pressed a button, and a series of documents filled the screenâspreadsheets, names, locations, and timestamps. She took a deep breath before speaking.
"Okay, so this flash drive? A goldmine of incriminating evidence," she said, her tone more serious than usual. "Weâre talking organized trafficking ordersâdetailed lists of victims, complete with coded identifiers, transaction dates, and destinations. But thatâs not all."
She clicked to another file, and a map appeared. "These are transport routesâhighways, backroads, even rest stops marked as exchange points. Whoever put this together is meticulous. And then, there are these."
Another document popped up. It was a list of addresses.
"Safe houses," Garcia continued. "Not just in DCâthereâs here in Virginia, Maryland, Baltimore and a few in Pennsylvania. Meaning, this isnât some local operation. Itâs an entire network."
The room fell silent as everyone processed the weight of what she had just revealed.
The breath you had been holding escaped in a slow exhale as you sank back into the chair. You and Austin exchanged a glance, both of you silently acknowledging the weight of what was in front of youâthe information you had been chasing for weeks was finally right there.
In retrospect, it seemed almost absurdâhow just three men were possibly going to be convicted for minor felonies, while they and so many others were responsible for running and ruining God knows how many lives.
Hotchâs voice was firm. âWeâll give this to the Head of the Domestic Trafficking Task Force, Andi Swan, to continue with the investigation. They will be communicating with the Department of Justice.â
You nodded slightly, processing the weight of the situation you had been unknowingly tangled in. Austinâs voice cut through your thoughts. âYou have to go to the gala for an alibi.â
He was right, and you knew it. Not attending such an important event, coupled with the fact that the office was losing an important case while FBI agents had been seen talking to you, could easily make you a targetâmarked as a 'snitch.' The irony stung, especially when all youâd been trying to do was uncover the truth.
You turned to face the team. âWhat about Calloway and the other threats?â
Garciaâs expression softened as she responded. âWallens Ridge has cleared 75% of the area. They havenât ruled him out as a fugitive yet.â Her voice took on a pitying tone, one you didnât want to acknowledge but knew was meant to protect you.
âWeâll protect you,â Morgan added, his voice steady. âThe gala will be crowded with security. Weâll drive you there and back, and by tomorrow, weâll continue to look for him. Youâll be safe.â
You nodded, knowing the smart decision was to attend the gala and put on a convincing smile. Austin had told you it was 6 p.m., giving you two hours to get home and be ready by 8.
Hotch assigned Rossi, JJ, and Garcia to keep tracking Calloway, while Morgan and Prentiss would drive you to the event.
Once the team had their tasks, you stood, picking up the brown paper bag before heading toward Spencerâs desk. You placed it on top, glancing toward Garciaâs office, where youâd just seen him disappear. It was a terrible excuse for an apologyââSorry for being impulsive and reckless. Hereâs a sweet treat.â But words had never been your strong suit, especially when it came to your feelings.
Time had a cruel way of shifting things. Over two years ago, you had stood in front of another desk, clutching an identical paper bagâonly back then, it hadnât been an apology. It had been his drugs. And you had thrown them away.
Austin was waiting for you. You caught a glimpse of Prentiss flipping through files and swallowed your nerves. You never knew if your difficulty making friends came from feeling like a freak or simply not knowing how to connect.
You hesitated before calling her name. âUhâcould you help me? Maybe? I know you probably have more important things to do, soââ
Prentiss looked up, offering a friendly smile. âNo, itâs okay. What do you need help with?â
You shifted awkwardly. âGetting ready? IâI donât really know how. I mean, I can dress myself, obviously, butââYou exhaled, frustrated at your own fumbling. âI barely know how to do any of that âpamperingâ stuff.â
Prentiss smirked, grabbing her coat. âOh, you came to the right person. Iâm a diplomatâs daughterâI was practically trained in this.â
You blinked at her, surprised by how quickly she jumped in to help.
She gestured toward the elevator. âCome on. Letâs make you look like you belong at this gala.â
Trying not to seem too eager, you followed her. Before stepping in, she quickly told Morgan sheâd be driving you and Austin.
A few minutes later Spencer finally emerged from Garciaâs office, barely escaping yet another lecture about overthinking things. His eyes landed on his deskâand the familiar brown paper bag sitting atop it.
Inside was a small cardboard box. And in itâa piece of chocolate cake.Â
A flicker of guilt settled in his chest as he stared at the cake. Had he really made you feel like you needed to apologize?
Maybe he felt it even more acutely after taking a biteâsweet, rich, and undeniably good. The kind of thing that made him wonder if he even deserved it.Â
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
You glance at the reflection in the mirror, taking in the clean, elegant look. The dress falls delicately, the long strips cascading down your backâso stunning, so unlike what youâd usually wear.
âYou look good. Donât overthink it,â Austinâs voice comes from behind you.
âThanks,â you reply, offering him a faint smile, but it comes out more like a thin line.
Emily had done a great job polishing you up. She even revived the black nail polish you thought was long gone since your college days, using some remover drops. Your hair was styled in an updo, the final touch to a look that felt like someone else entirely.
âHere you goâ she says, handing you the long black coat, giving your makeup a final check. It felt strangely nice to feel this... pretty. You knew without her help, you wouldnât have pulled it off. To be honest, you liked pretty things. You liked makeup, but you just didnât know how to do it right. And you wanted to have girlfriends, though you werenât sure what youâd talk about with them. But that didnât matter, and Emily seemed nice enough to not mind.
âThe carâs downstairs. Morgan and Reid will be taking youâ she adds. Right. Reid. You nod as you slip the coat on, trying to ignore the unease creeping up on you.
The thought of Reid seeing you like this, this version of yourself that was so different from the usual, made you squirm.
Would he think you looked good? Pretty, even? Why did you care about his opinion? Maybe because you cared about what he thought in general. Maybe because having his attention, even for just five seconds, felt like something sacred. Why would someone with such an incredible mind waste more than five seconds on someone like you?
You didnât know which thought haunted you the most: the sense of insecurity that came with the fact someone had broken into your place, erasing the feeling of home and comfort youâd hoped for while getting ready, or the look in Spencerâs eyesâthe one that made you feel like youâd been stupid.
The elevator doors opened, revealing the lobby, and in front of the glass entrance doors of your apartment complex stood the familiar black SUV. Your stomach churned with nerves.
Spencerâs breath hitched when he saw you, the way the dress fit you so perfectly, so timelessly elegant. If someone had told him you were a duchess or from some aristocratic family, he would have believed them. The way you carried yourselfâcontrolled yet poised, with your head held high and your back straightâwas enhanced by the silk of the dress, giving you an almost regal presence.
He got out of the car to help you in, and the rush of warmth that flooded your face instantly banished the winterâs cold. You smiled awkwardly at him, unsure of what to say.
The low whistle from Morgan saved you.
âLookinâ good, mama,â he said, flashing that charming smile of his.
You smiled back at him, relieved, before turning to say goodbye to Prentiss. Spencer gently helped you into the car, making sure the dress didnât get caught or ruined in the process. You felt the tingle of his hand lingering where it had touched yours, and you couldnât shake the electric pulse it left behind.Â
Slipping into the back seat, you settled in with Austin in the front, relaying the venueâs address to Morgan. Spencer sat beside you, trying to keep his composure. He had to be extra careful not to stumble as the scent of your perfume hit him, wrapping around him like an intoxicating mist. It was all he could do to focus on anything else, the smell of it swirling in his senses and pulling him into a dizzy state he could easily get lost in.Â
Throughout the ride, you stared out the window, mentally preparing yourself for the event ahead. You knew you had to play the partâprofessional, charming, decisive, almost regal if you wanted to make an impression. The problem was, you didnât want to win that way. You didnât want to play the political game that came with it.
Looking at Morgan was a reminder that Calloway was out there, and you could let him throw you off. But then your gaze shifted to Reid, and the tightness in your chest made you stutter for a second. His presence had that effect on you, unsettling yet magnetic in the most infuriating yet addicting way.
Your phone rang, pulling you out of your thoughts. You rummaged through your purse and saw it was your office number, making you frown as you picked it up.
âHello?â you answered doubtfully, everyone was supposed to be at the venue or on their way there by now.
âMiss Woodvale!â Calebâs voice came through, making you fight the impulse to roll your eyes. âIâm sorry to bother you, but Iâm afraid thereâs been a problem.â
You sighed, bracing yourself. Caleb was pretty useless as an assistant, and you could already feel the frustration bubbling up. âWhatâs happened now?â
âItâs the subpoena for the evidence in the Rogers case, the one about the gun,â he said, his voice tinged with panic. âThe judge declined it, and I... Iâm not sure what to do about it. The paperwork was filed wrong, andââ
You cut him off before he could ramble further. âIs it the one I gave you a draft on how to do it exactly?â
Yes! I typed butâI don't know something must have gone wrong and Iâm at the office right now and I-â You sigh knowing you had made a mistake in asking him to handle such an important thing like a physical evidence paperwork.Â
Knowing it was pretty urgent and could jeopardize the case, you decided to take care of it in the moment âIâll handle it.â You ended the call, already plotting the quickest way to fix this.
You glanced at the others in the car, a sudden sense of urgency creeping over you. The event felt like it had slipped from your mind for a moment, but the reality of your job brought you back into focus.
âIs everything okay?â asked Spencer, with a concerned look on his face.
You nod slowly âYeah justâŠâ you said, turning to Austin and Morgan. âCan we please make a stop in the office for a second? There was a problem and Iâve got to go fix it.â
Morgan glanced at you, eyebrows raised. âYou sure? Weâre almost thereâ
âItâs on the way, just some paperwork issue that I don't want to escalateâ you said, your tone firm. âIâll be quick. I promiseâ
Morgan nods and turns towards your office. A couple minutes later you are in front of the office, stepping out of the car. Spencer, followed quietly behind you. His voice was low, but there was concern in it. âIâll come with youâ
You just nodded, knowing that convincing him youâll be fine was a waste of time. As you walked toward the courthouse, your mind raced through possible solutions to fix Calebâs mistake, not wanting to think of the effect Spencerâs presence by your side had on you, and how the silence between you two was almost suffocating over the unsaid feelings.
Spencer cleared his throat. âYou look beautiful,â he said, offering a sincere smile. He wanted to say moreâwanted to apologizeâbut the words tangled inside him, unsure of how to make it right.
The compliment caught you off guard, leaving you momentarily defenseless. You felt the warmth of a genuine smile tug at your lips, and Spencerâs chest tightened at the sight of it.
âThank you,â you said softly, meaning it.
Spencer exhaled, deciding to take the chance. âAbout what happened in the warehouse, Iââ
A sharp gasp from Caleb cut him off.
âCounselor! Iâm so sorryâI completely forgot the gala was tonight!â Calebâs voice was frantic as he adjusted his glasses, guilt written all over his face. âI wanted to apologize. I know you trusted me with this, and Iââ
âJust give me the files and letâs fix this,â you interrupted, already feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on you.
Before anything else could be said, Spencerâs phone rang with Garciaâs name in it.
He picked up immediately, but something was off. The call crackled, her voice cutting in and out, fragmented in a way that sent a prickle of unease down his spine.
âGarcia? Youâre breaking upâwhatâs going on?â
As you, Caleb, and Spencer stepped into your office, the static grew worse. He pressed the phone tighter to his ear, but Penelopeâs words were barely making it through.
âCaâway⊠WelleâridgeâŠâ The interference distorted Garciaâs words, making it impossible to understand what she was saying.
âWhat? Garcia, I canât hear you,â Spencer said, pressing his hand over the other ear to block out the noise.
Your assistant glanced up. âThereâs better reception downstairs at night.â
Spencer gave a quick nod and stepped out of your office, heading toward the lower level. By the time he got there, the call had already dropped. With a sigh, he immediately tried calling Garcia back as he got further and further from you.Â
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
Upstairs, Caleb handed you more files, his usual carefree expression in place. As you took them, your eyes flicked to the dirt under his nails, and you fought the instinctive wince of disgust.
âI gave you notes on how to do this. Did you check them?â
You really didnât want to lecture a man who was two years older than you and a bit taller, but at this point, it felt unavoidable.
What felt even more ridiculous, though, was how he managed to mess up every task you gave him.
Caleb scratched the back of his head, looking sheepish. âI mean⊠sort of? I figured it was just a formality thing, so Iââ
âThis isnât even from the Rogers case, Caleb,â you interrupted, exasperation seeping into your voice as you handed the file back to him. You didnât even try to mask your frustration.
âOh! Rightâsorry!â He fumbled through his stack of papers before hastily picking up another document and handing it over.
You sighed, taking it from him, already dreading what mistake youâd find next.
He disappeared down the hall, leaving you staring at the stack of files, irritation simmering under your skin. With a sigh, you scanned it carefully, your frustration shifting into confusion. There was nothing wrong with it. No technical error, no missing informationâjust a perfectly valid request.
Frowning, with your back towards the door, the file still in hand, rereading it just to be sure.
âCaleb, I donât think thiââ
You never got to finish the sentence.
A sharp, jarring thud struck the back of your head, and the world lurched sideways. A burst of pain shot through your skull, white-hot and disorienting. The file slipped from your fingers, papers scattering across the floor as your vision blurred.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
Morganâs phone buzzes sharply against the desk, the name Garcia flashing across the screen. He barely has time to press accept before her voice spills through the line, fast, frantic.
âMorgan, this is weirdâreally, really weirdâI donât understand how thââ
He straightens, instincts flaring. âWhatâs going on? You caught Calloway?â With a flick of his thumb, he puts the call on speaker so Austin can hear too.
Thereâs a sharp inhale on the other end, then Garciaâs voiceâurgent, almost breathless.
âMorgan I called Reid first but his phone itâs not working, Wallens Ridge just called. Calloway never left the facility.â
The blood in their veins turned to ice at the thought of it. If it wasnât Callowayâthe only one who knew about such a macabre detailâthen who? Who else could possibly know?
They both bolted out of the car. Who even had your address? It had to be someone trusted. Someone close. Someone you had let too close.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăă
A blinding explosion of pain cracked through your skull, turning the world sideways. The room twisted, floor tilting beneath you as your knees buckled. The taste of copper flooded your mouth.
Handsârough, too strongâgrabbed at you, yanking you forward before you could catch yourself. Your body slammed into something solid. A wall? A desk? It didnât matter. The impact rattled through your bones, sending shockwaves down your spine.
Panic surged through the haze. You tried to moveâtried to fightâbut the dizziness slowed your limbs, making everything feel sluggish. You wanted to scream for help, for someone, anyone, for Spencer, to come help you, but the spinning world had stolen your words.
Your fingers clawed for anythingâsomethingâto defend yourself. Your vision swam, but you felt it: the sharp edge of something on the desk. A pen? A letter opener?
Your hand closed around it.
But Caleb was faster.
A crushing grip seized your wrist, twisting, forcing your fingers open. The object clattered to the floor. He shoved you backâhard. Your shoulder slammed into the wall, pain blooming through muscle and bone. The air left your lungs in a choked gasp.
You had to move. Had to run. Had toâ A sharp sting. Cold flooded your veins.
Your body locked, every nerve screaming in protest as the drug hit.
No. No. No.
You thrashed, arms flailing weakly, but your strength was already draining, slipping away like water through your fingers. Your vision blurred at the edges, dark spots creeping in.
Caleb yanked you by the arm, dragging you across the floor. The wood scraped against your skin, tearing at you as you kicked weakly. Your fingers clawed at the ground, desperate for an anchor. You dug your nails into the floor, hanging on, fighting to the last.
A white-hot burst of pain exploded through your hand as your indexâs fingernail caught on a splintered groove in the floorboardsâand ripped clean off.
A strangled cry wrenched from your throat. The agony barely registered before the blackness swallowed you whole.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
They were too late.
Your office was a disasterâpapers scattered, the desk chair overturned, a letter opener lying abandoned on the floor. The air felt wrong, thick with something unsaid, something violent. But it wasnât until Spencerâs gaze dropped that his stomach lurched.
A fingernail. Lodged between the wooden floorboards.
His breath hitched, nausea creeping up his throat, but there was no time to process it. Austin was already moving, frantic, his eyes darting toward the hallway. He knew there were cameras out thereâbut not in here. Whoever had taken you had known exactly how to stay hidden.
Morgan and Austin had sprinted up the stairs the second Garciaâs call came through, barely stopping when they saw Spencer frozen near the entrance. The silence in the office was suffocating. There was no one else here. Everyone was at the gala.
Spencer was supposed to be watching you. Supposed to make sure nothing happened. And yetâhe had failed. The weight of it pressed down on him, suffocating, as Morgan barked into his phone, demanding that Garcia access the security cameras, cursing when the signal started to fail.
Thatâs when he heard the soft creak of a door.
He turned just in time to see Caleb stepping out of the bathroom, his face and hands damp, water still clinging to his skin.
Something wasnât right.
âWhere is she?â Austinâs voice cut through the air like a blade, sharp and unrelenting.
Caleb blinked, frowning. âWhereâs who?â
The nonchalance sent a cold chill through Spencerâs body.
Morgan wasnât wasting time. He tore through your office, yanking open drawers, rifling through papers, looking for any sign of where youâd gone, but there was nothing. Austin was shouting your name now, advancing on Caleb, his voice rising with barely contained rage.
ThenâMorgan cursed. Low. Cold. Spencer turned just as Morgan reached into Calebâs desk and pulled something out. A signal jammer.
That was why his phone hadnât worked.
That was why Morganâs call had cut out.
You were gone.
And they had walked straight into it.
Austin was the first to react. In a blur of movement, he grabbed Caleb by the collar of his blue jacket and slammed him against the wall with enough force to make the drywall tremble.
Someone close. Someone who knew the building well enough to avoid the cameras. Someone who knew youâyour schedule, your address.
Austinâs grip tightened. His voice was razor-sharp. âWhat have you done to her?â
Calebâs breath hitched. His face paled. âIâI swear, I didnât w-want tââ
Austin didnât let him finish. He slammed him back again, harder. âWhere is she?â His voice was low, lethal, vibrating with fury.
Morgan was calling Garcia again, his voice tense in the background, but Austin barely registered it. His entire world had narrowed to the man in front of himâthe only lead to where you were.
âTheyâthey threatened me,â Caleb stammered, hands raised in surrender. âMy familyâIâm sorry, Iââ
Austin didnât care. He shoved him harder against the wall. âWhere. Is. She?â
Calebâs breath came in ragged gasps, terror widening his eyes. His voice cracked as he stammered, âIâI donât knowâthey just gave me the needle, and they took her through the back door.â
Morgan was already moving, heading toward the back of the building in search of any trace of you.
Austin didnât budge. His grip on Calebâs jacket tightened, his knuckles white. âWhat did you give her?â His voice was sharp, edged with something raw and dangerous. When Caleb hesitated, Austin snapped. âIâll kill you with my own handsâwhat did you give her?!â
You had been drugged.
Fifteen years. Fifteen years of sobrietyâstolen in an instant.
The thought sent fire through Austinâs veins. His chest heaved with barely contained rage, but before he could lose himself in it, Spencerâs voice cut through the chaos.
Spencerâs gaze locked onto Calebâs blue jacket, his mind racing. Then, he caught itâthe dirt under Calebâs nails. His stomach twisted.
The warehouse.
Caleb had been there. He was the one you saw. The one you spoke to in your officeâwhere he could have easily eavesdropped.
You had been watched. You had a target on your back for far longer than any of them had realized.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
The air smelled of damp wood and rusted metal, creeping through your nostrils as your vision swam in and out of focus. Slowly, you began to regain awareness of your body and surroundings. A harsh light flickered overhead, blurring your senses, and a sharp pain on the side of your head made you wince.
Your hands were bound tightly behind your back, the rope digging into your skin, and the searing pain made it almost impossible to ignore. A sound, sharp and unsettling, reached your earsâthe click of someoneâs tongue. It was enough to snap you from your fading consciousness. You fought to stay awake, but your body felt like it was on fire, an unnatural heat that made your skin crawl. Despite the whistle of the wind coming from somewhere in the room, that warmth felt suffocating, as if it were dragging you deeper into memoriesâor perhaps the lack of them. Blurry flashes, distorted sounds, and a gnawing sense of wrongness churned in your mind, making you want to destroy anything within reach.
Then came the steps, heavy and deliberate, each footfall resonating through the creaking wood beneath.
âThis one used to be one of my favorites, you know?â A low, cold voice slithered through the air.
Something about it... felt familiar. Your mind, clouded by pain and fear, tried to place the voice, but it wouldnât come. It wasnât Calloway, you knew that toneâthere was no forgetting in the one that had whispered awful things to you in the dark, its pitch a disgusting echo in your ear.
Your mouth was dry, coated with a thick, cottony feeling that made it hard to speak. "Who... are you?" Your voice came out barely a whisper, weak and fragileâcloser to breathless than you wouldâve liked.
He hummed as he approached, the light casting long shadows over his grey and black hair, his dark clothes blending into the ominous surroundings. His presence was suffocating, strong and undeniable. He squatted down in front of you, the light revealing his sharp features and a long, crooked nose that seemed to sharpen his sinister presence.
"It doesnât matter who I am, sugar," he said, his voice smooth yet laced with malice. "What matters is how close you've been sticking your nose in my business."
Another wave of sharp pain surged through your skull, confusing your thoughts as you tried to place the familiar face before you. But it was like trying to grab smokeâelusive, slippery.
He stood, his footsteps heavy as he moved behind you, his presence darkening the space.
"A friend of mine gave me some tips about what to do with you," he continued, his tone cold and casual, as if discussing something mundane.
You felt a jolt as his hands grasped your arm, and instinctively, you tried to squirm away, but his grip tightened like iron.
"Although," he mused, his voice taking on a sickening quality, "he preferred you docile. Iâd rather have you... more awake." His words made you feel sick, each one like poison dripping into your ears.
The needle slid deeper, it's cold metal scraping against your skin, and you could feel the fluid entering your bloodstreamâtoo quickly, too forcefully. Panic surged within you, clawing at your chest, suffocating you. You fought against it, trying to tear your arm away, but his grip was unyielding.
The world began to spin. The adrenaline hit you fast, a hot wave of electricity zipping through your veins, making your heart race and your breath catch in your throat. Your mind was a fog, thoughts slipping in and out like water running through your fingers.
"You feel that?" He whispered close to your ear, his voice smooth, almost coaxing, like a predator with its prey. "The rush. It's all just a little push, and you'll be awake for everything. For all the things that are coming."
The blurry edges of your vision started to sharpen, your breath coming in short, rapid gasps, your chest heaving with every painful inhale. Each breath felt like a battle, the world spinning around you as the adrenaline pulsed through your veins, burning you from the inside out.
Behind you, you heard him laughâa harsh, cruel sound that sent ice through your veins. But it wasn't the laugh that made you shudder; it was the anger underneath it.
"If only Dean could see how big his sweet girl has grown," he spat, his voice thick with venom, dripping with something darker than just anger. "He was a good associate, knew exactly how and when to prescribe pills for our little business."
The words were like poison, each one meant to wound, to remind you of the twisted connections. You could feel your pulse racing from the adrenaline, your body on edge as the drug coursed through you, making your heart hammer and your vision swim.
"He's rotting in prison now," he continued, his tone laced with twisted satisfaction. His hand grabbed a fistful of your hair, jerking your head back so roughly that a sharp gasp of pain ripped from you.
But it didnât stop you. The adrenaline only fueled the fire in your veins, making the anger burn hotter. You gritted your teeth, trying to focus, your throat raw and dry. "Same place you'll go when they catch you," you spat, voice hoarse but unwavering, as the rage swelled inside you.
He chuckled darkly, the sound grating against your ears, before the cold, hard press of metal settled against your temple. The weaponâs chill did nothing to cool the heat that roared inside of you, only making your body tremble with a surge of fury.
âDonât be so sure of it, sweetheart,â he taunted, leaning in closer, his breath hot and rancid against your skin. âYou and that friend of yours have been causing me a lot of trouble.â
Your chest heaved, but this time, the adrenaline wasnât clouding your thoughtsâit was sharpening them, feeding the fury that burned in your veins. Austin. His words only made the fire inside you grow.
âYouâre the little bitch who runs that human catalogue? The whorehouse we searched?â you hissed, every word dripping with venom.
He chuckled darkly, the sound making your blood boil. âWhorehouse? Is that how you call orphanages now?â His twisted smile spread across his face when he saw the flicker of confusion in your eyes.
A sharp sting ripped through the right side of your cheek as he slapped you hard, the pain jolting through your skull. Orphanages? You tried to focus, trying to make sense of his words, but the anger only surged more violently within you.
He laughed harder, the sound reverberating through the cold air. âI thought they called them foster homes now. Youâre one to know, arenât you, sweetheart?â His voice dripped with mockery, savoring the way his words landed, knowing exactly how to twist the knife.
He circled around you like a predator, his steps slow and deliberate, inspecting the room. âLike I said, this one was one of my favorites.â His words were casual, but they carried a weight that made your stomach turn.
Through the sharp blur of your vision, you turned your head, your eyes darting to the right. The trees outside were bare, dry branches silhouetted against the bright moon. Recognition hit you like a blow to the chest, and your heart sank. You were in the warehouse you and Spencer had searched earlier.
The memory hit you like a freight trainârows of tiny beds, abandoned, empty, each one a reminder of the lives stolen and shattered. The thought of those children, trapped in that hell, sickened you, making every inch of your skin crawl with the need to escape.
A low, guttural groan escaped your lips, fury burning in your chest, making it hard to breathe. You fought against the ropes binding your wrists, the adrenaline sharpening your senses, making everything feel raw. "Iâm going to kill you," you snarled through clenched teeth, barely able to contain the rage. The thought of being in that place again, again, after everything you'd been through... it made your entire body tremble with fury.
âWhereâs Callowayâs little girl? His sugarcube? The one he refused to sell after seeing her so tiny and beautiful in that hospital bed?â He taunted, pulling a piece of candy from his pocket. âHe told me you loved these. Didnât you like my special delivery? He used to give you these and youâd just love them.â
His words hit like a sledgehammer. The memories flooded backâsharp and violent, dragging you into the past. You could almost feel the sticky sweetness coating your tongue again, the bitterness mixing with the sugar, and the suffocating control of it all.
Calloway used to feed you those damn candiesâpiles of themâwhether you wanted them or not. He would shove them in your mouth, watching you as you had no choice but to swallow, his sick pleasure in the power he had over you written all over his face. He reveled in your discomfort, in your helplessness, in your inability to escape.
Once, youâd tried to hide some of the candy, just a few pieces, to give to the other kids in the foster home. Maybe it would make them smile, maybe it would give them a little relief from their own nightmare. But Calloway had caught you. Heâd punished you for itâmade you pay the price for defying him.
You never tried to hide the candy again.
The sickening memory made your stomach churn, bile rising in your throat. The pain of the past felt so close nowâtoo close, threatening to overwhelm you. The heat of adrenaline still surged through you, but it didnât dull the disgust, the rage.
âI have proof of your sick business,â you spat, your voice rough and dripping with fury. âEvery escape route, the safehouse, the money transactionsâeverything. And youâll go to the most disgusting 2x2 cell I can find in this world and rot there, going crazy in isolation.â
He hummed, his gaze cold and calculating as he slowly pointed the gun at your forehead, steady between your brows. You stared him down, defiant, refusing to let him see even a hint of fear.
âYou think thatâs going to save you?â His voice was a low murmur, twisted with mockery.Â
His grip tightened on the gun, and for a brief moment, the world narrowed down to the cold, unforgiving barrel pointing against your forehead. You could feel his anger radiating off him, a palpable heat, but it only fueled your own defiance. His words were venomous, designed to rattle you, but you stood strong.
âYouâre going to die here, sweetheart. Youâve been a thorn in my side for too long. All your little threats, all your big talk? It doesnât matter anymore. Iâll put so many bullets in your head, God wouldnât even recognize you.â He sneered, the words dripping with malice.
You rested your head against the cold steel, the metal biting into your skin, but you didnât flinch. In that moment, the sensation was almost soothing, like the clarity that comes when everything else fades away, leaving you focused. Focused on one thing.
âI donât believe in God,â you said, your voice low and steady, despite the terror churning in your chest. "Go ahead and shoot. See if that stops me from haunting you from the grave."
His finger moved over the trigger, just a whisper away from pulling it. The sound of quick footsteps approaching was the only thing that stopped him.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
The BAU stepped out of the SUV with precision, their movements sharp and efficient. Spencer felt his chest tighten beneath the bulletproof vest, adrenaline buzzing through his veins.
After your kidnapping, they had brought Caleb in for questioning. He had confessed to aiding people who had threatened him and his family, revealing that he had given them your personal address. He had been sent to retrieve documents from the same warehouse where you'd been taken, but he panicked and dropped them before JJ could reach him.
The threats had been traced to a man named Graham Sullivan, a former doctor who no longer practiced. He traveled frequently, never staying in one place for long. Garcia had tracked his rented car through its online GPS, leading them straight to the warehouse.
Spencer could only hope they werenât too late. Again.
Hotch directed the team to surround the house, already briefing them on the structure. He and Morgan led the breach, kicking the door down and clearing every room with practiced efficiency.
"FBI! Put the gun down!" Morganâs voice rang out from the last room.
Reid rushed in behind Hotch, his heart pounding. His eyes landed on youâsitting in a chair, wrists raw and red from the restraints tied behind your back. Across from you, Sullivan stood with a gun aimed directly at you.
Sullivanâs grip on the gun was steady, his finger hovering over the trigger. His eyes flicked between the agents and you, calculating his next move.
Reid could feel the pulse in his throat, pounding, deafening. He tightened his grip on his own gun, but his hands were steadyâyears of fieldwork had trained them to be.
âGraham,â Hotchâs voice was calm but firm, cutting through the tension like a blade. âThereâs no way out of this. Put the gun down.â
Grahamâs presence triggered something in your memoryâdistant, almost dreamlike, but unmistakable. The image of Uncle Gram flashed before you, an echo of Callowayâs manipulation. You could almost hear his voice, coaxing you to greet him every time he visited, making you act like everything was normal. But it never was. After his visits, the house always felt emptier, the silence heavier, as if another group of children had been âadopted,â leaving behind only their absence.
Graham moved to fire, but Hotch was faster. He saw the threat in his eyes before Graham could make a move, and with practiced precision, he shot him in the leg. Graham crumpled to the floor, dropping the gun as he went down, clutching his leg above the knee. Spencer immediately rushed to undo your restraints, but you didnât follow him. Your eyes were fixed on something else. You werenât looking at Graham, or even at Spencer.Â
All you saw was the gun in the corner. All you felt was the burn of your newly freed hands. All you wanted was revenge.
Before anyone could stop you, you lunged for the gun, fingers closing around the grip. Adrenaline surged through your veins, your breath ragged as you turned the weapon on Graham.
He was on his knees, bleeding, vulnerable.
Morgan called your name, but you didnât hear him. Your eyes were locked onto Grahamâs.
Your right hand trembled slightly, the raw, nailless finger resting over the trigger. It pulsedâas if calling you to pull it.
The sirens in your head were deafening, drowning out Morgan and Hotch as they tried to reach you.
âWhereâs your God now?â you spat, voice sharp and shaking with rage. âBecause He sure as hell wasnât in that house.â
Your entire body trembled, but not with fear. Not with hesitation. With something darker, something primal, something that had lived inside you for years, clawing at the walls of your ribs, screaming to be let out. And nowânow that monster had a name, a face, and he was kneeling right in front of you.
Your chest heaved as you tightened your grip on the gun, the cool weight of it grounding you, fueling you. Your hands ached, not from exhaustion, but from the sheer force with which you clenched the weapon. Your index finger twitched against the trigger, the tendons in your wrist pulled so taut they might snap, the palace were you nails used to be pulsated as if it was calling you. Do it.
âThis man trafficked children across the country.â Your voice was steady, but there was no mistaking the fury that laced every word. It crackled in the air around you like the moments before a thunderstorm, suffocating and electric. âHe made them think they were safe. He made them trust him. He took their hands, promised them safety, and then he sold them. He ruined their livesâjust like Calloway did.â
Morganâs expression hardened.
You knew if you kept talking, you could get to him. You could make him see. Maybe, just maybe, he would let you do this. You could say it was an accident, that it was life or death. And you could walk free.
You didnât move. You didnât take your eyes off Graham, who had the audacity to grin.
The sight of his teethâwhite, clean, untouched by suffering, untouched by the pain he had inflicted on othersâsent something violent and raw ripping through you.
"Finally," he mused, his voice tainted with amusement, mockery, knowing. "Callowayâs little sugarcube. The angry one. The wild one. The one who snapped that boyâs arm like a twig when she was whatâsix? seven?"
Something inside you cracked.
The air turned thick. The blood in your veins ran hot, too fast, too much. You felt it in your fingertips, in the throb of your pulse, in the back of your skull where pressure built like an overfilled dam, desperate to break.
Your ears rang with the phantom sound of his voiceânot Sullivanâs, but Callowayâsâthe slurred taunts, the threats, the sickly sweet way heâd whispered your name while heâ
Morgan took a careful step forward, his hands raised in a placating gesture. "Put the gun down," he urged, his voice calm but firm. "This isnât you."
But it was you.
The gun in your hand felt like the only real thing in the room. The weight of it, the cold metal against your palmâit was control, justice, revenge.
Grahamâs smirk deepened, unfazed. "Go on," he taunted, his voice raspy. "Show them who you really are."
Your heart pounded. Your finger hovered over the trigger, aching to pull it.
"You donât have to do this," Morgan tried again. "You pull that trigger, you donât get to come back from it."
The words hit you like a slap, but they didnât land. The sound of the gun, of Grahamâs taunting grin, drowned everything else out.
Your chest was tight, your breath ragged and shallow. Every fiber of your being was screaming, do it. End him. Make him pay. But something else, something deep inside, tugged at youâjust a whisper of hesitation, but it was enough.
And then Spencer appeared at your side.
His voice, when it came, was soft. It wasnât the sharp edge of a command or the hard lines of Morganâs warning. It was patient, the way he always spoke to you when he thought you needed to be reminded of your worth. Of your humanity.
He called your name, his voice threaded with something like understanding, like he was walking on glass but knew that you needed him to be there. âI know what youâre feeling. I know you want him to pay. But this wonât fix anything. You know that, donât you?â
You didnât answer. Your eyes were locked on Graham, on his smile. The gun in your hand felt so right. But there was something in Reidâs voice, something gentle, that made you waver.
You could feel his presence now, right next to you. Close enough that you could smell the faint scent of his cologne, the warmth of his body that seemed to pull you in. He wasnât backing off, wasnât giving you space to breatheâhe was there. Centered.
Reid repeated your name, his voice lower, more insistent. âYouâre not him. Youâre not the monster heâs trying to make you. Please.â
But you were a monster. Weren't you?
You finally tore your eyes away from Graham, the weight of your anger still pressing down on your chest. And then you saw himâReid. His eyes werenât filled with fear, or judgment, or pity. No, they were soft, gentle, as if he was trying to reach something deep inside of you.
He wasnât looking at you like you were some broken thing to be fixed, or a threat to be afraid of. He wasnât recoiling in disgust. He was looking at you like you were human. Like you mattered. Like you werenât the monster you thought you were.
"Please," he whispered, his handâslow, tentativeâmoved toward your trembling wrist. "You donât need to do this. You are not alone."
Your breath hitched. A sob built up in your chest, hot and sharp. The rage was still thereâso thereâbut somewhere in the flood, you felt something crack. A dam breaking. The years of holding everything back, all the hurt, the memories, the weight of a life you had never asked for, crashing down on you. You closed your eyes, and in that moment, Reidâs voice was the only thing you heard.
âIâve got you,â he said, almost like a prayer, his fingers brushing yours, a lifeline in the chaos.
Your chest burned with the need to scream, to yell at him to stay away, to let you do what needed to be done. But instead, your handâstill holding the gunâslipped. Your fingers, raw and trembling, lost their grip, and the weapon fell to the floor with a soft, final clink.
The silence that followed was thick, suffocating. You stared down at the gun, a wave of dizziness crashing through you.
The urge to kill, to make him feel the same terror, the same helplessness, was gone. But in its place⊠there was nothing. Just emptiness.
Reidâs hand was on your arm now, guiding you, steadying you, like a shore amidst the storm. You let him pull you back, away from Graham, away from the moment you almost gave in to. You let him lead you out of the fury, out of the darkness that had almost consumed you.
Hotch kicked the gun away, and Morgan quickly cuffed Sullivan, but none of it registered. All you could hear was the thudding of your own heart in your ears, drowning out the world around you. You couldn't shake the feeling of weakness gnawing at youâhow you couldn't pull the trigger, how pathetic it felt to even consider it. The shame washed over you in waves, thick and suffocating.
And then, hands were on youâSpencerâs hands. Soft, steady, and protective. They guided you, as if he could sense the storm raging inside of you, and he didnât let go. His touch grounded you, calming the chaos, but it didnât stop the guilt. You wanted to pull away, to hide from the vulnerability that threatened to swallow you whole, but Spencer didnât let you. His presence was a quiet reassurance, his grip gentle yet firm, and for once, you let yourself be guided. You needed it. You needed him.
The freezing raindrops began to fall as Spencer walked you out of the building toward the waiting paramedics. Each drop felt like a sharp reminder of everything that had just happened. As the cold settled into your bones, everything hit you all at once. Your body trembled, weak and exhausted, while self-loathing thoughts swirled in your mind. You couldn't stop thinking about what you'd doneâor what you had almost done.
Spencer noticed the way your body quivered, how your shoulders were bare in the downpour. Without a second thought, he draped his FBI windbreaker over you.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice broken, eyes filled with regret.
Before he could reassure youâthat none of this was your fault, that you hadnât done anything wrong, that everything would be okayâone of the paramedics rushed toward you with a stretcher. In an instant, they pulled you from his arms, guiding you toward the ambulance.
Spencer cursed under his breath, the image of you in that moment burned into his mind. He knew it would stay with him for the rest of his life.
ăăăă ăă  .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăă
The sun bathed the park in a golden glow, its warmth fighting against the crisp breeze, making the trees shimmer with life on what the weatherman called âthe warmest day of our winterâ. Everything looked prettier at sunset. It was a beautiful dayâone best spent among the laughter of children and the quiet focus of elderly chess players, their skill not only clearing your mind but offering it a rare moment of peace.
It had been two weeks since the night you almost lost control. After that, you decided to take three weeks off workâtime you had spent searching for a new place, moving in, visiting your parents, and coming to the park.
"Check in five," Ethan said with a confident smile.
He was goodâreally good. He assessed the board with careful precision, you considered every move, from the forced plays to the controlling one's for the next move.Â
"I see it in four," a voice said behind you.
The sound sent a shiver down your spine.
âYeah, but he plays with the rooks,â you said, studying the board after spotting the move Spencer had pointed out.
Ethan frowned as you moved your bishop, setting up a check he hadnât seen yetânot until he moved his pawn.
âCheck in two,â you announced.
He sighed and pushed his king piece forward. âI officially surrender because I do not remember moving my bishop there.â His confused expression made you smile. Then, he glanced behind you. âAnd Iâm glad you finally showed up. Canât wait to see which one of you is better.â
Spencer tensed slightly but forced a polite smile at Ethan, who had no idea what had happened between you two. And Spencer hadnât come here looking for youâbut considering the probabilities of both of you being at the same place at the same time, he wasnât exactly surprised either.
Still, he didnât know how to talk to you. He still felt guilty about how he had treated you in the warehouse, and you were ashamed of how you had reacted.
As Ethan walked away, Spencer took the seat across from you. Something shifted in your stomach when you noticed his hairâit was shorter now, messier, no longer brushing his shoulders. Your blood rushed at the sight.
âHi,â he said, offering a small, tight-lipped smile.
It was infuriating and embarrassing how impulsive you became around him. âYou cut your hair.â
âUhâyeah. My boss said I looked like I joined a boyband.â He ran a hand through it, chuckling nervously.Â
âI think it looks good.â Where had all the apologies you prepared for this moment gone?
He smiled softly, wishing the hair was long enough to cover his pink ears, and you looked down at the chessboard, unable to meet his eyes.
âDo you want to start over?â he asked gently.
When you looked up again, it wasnât the board he was focused onâit was you. There was something in the way his eyes shine, the way he swallowed nervously. Thatâs when you realized he wasnât just talking about the game.
So much remained unspoken. Too much. Fear and shame sat heavy between you. You had convinced yourself that no one could love someone with the monster you carried inside you. But Spencer had seen it. And somehow, he was still here, offering a way forward.
He extended his hand. âIâm Spencer.â
His skin looked soft, and you hesitated for only a second before reaching out. For the first time in weeks, physical touch didnât make you flinch.
You smiled. âIâm Woody.â Your voice was soft but steady.
âIâve been told youâre good at chess.â He smiled at you the way the sun warmed the parkâquiet but certain.
âWell, wanna see for yourself?â You began arranging the pieces.
He did the same, his fingers moving with practiced ease. Maybe the odds suggested otherwise, and maybe you didnât believe in destinyâbut if Spencer ever confessed how he had felt inexplicably drawn to the park that day, you might just believe him.
Dostoevsky once wrote, âTo love someone means to see them as God intended them to be.â And Spencer, ever the atheist and man of science, found himself willing to believe in God every time he looked into your eyes.
ăăăă ăăă    .˳˳.â â Ë Ëââ .˳˳.â â Ë Ëâ.˳˳. ăăăăăă ăă ăă ă
FINALLY MY BABYS ARE TOGETHER. the request for them are OPEN. And the series is going to take a jump in time, next time i post about them, they are going to be already together
Feedback feeds motivation! Likes, reblogs and comments are all appreciated <3
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i would've pull the trigger if i was her ngl
me too fuck graham
girl no that's murder