My Kickstarter is live! ✨️ https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/52473674/kaetshop-artist-created-mesh-tops 💕In addition to offering mesh tops (sizes XS-6XL), I have my OTKs and scrunchies available as add-ons! I have a few early bird tiers for those who support early, and some exclusive pricing throughout the campaign! All mesh top pledges will include a set of 4 mini hair clips, a riso-printed thank you note, and an exclusive sticker! 💖 More freebies may be unlocked if future stretch goals are reached!Anything you can do to support, including sharing, is incredibly appreciated!
Hey so! I’ve been on a queue for a while and since that ran out I really haven’t done anything but I don’t want to leave anyone hanging in too much suspense... I’m gonna go in detail below the cut but long story short is I’m fine and tumblr is..... not great for me lol
i’ve known that for a while but this is the time i’ve finally taken a break without wanting to come back so it’s for real this time (after over 10 years here...)
If anyone wants, my twitter is @kaetia and i’m fairly active there - feel free to follow/reconnect/etc!
i’ll probably keep this up as an archive?? honestly one day i might full on delete but i don’t have too many feelings either way
i’m very grateful for the friends i have made, the laughs i’ve had, and the opportunities to learn and grow as a person but it’s time for me to fly away from here
so i’m gonna go into detail about why tumlr bad for me and then a brief recap of how my life has been.... i cant remember the last time i posted anything personal so i’ll try to cover what’s important
i think my negative feelings can be divided into a few categories: association with bad experiences, culture that harbors negativity, and it being a time sink
going in backwards order (and also most easy to explain),
1. i’ve straight up wasted a lot of time on tumblr... i feel like there’s a difference between relaxing and wasting time and like. it’s definitely been the sort of thing where i’ve been sitting here glued to the screen wanting to leave but feeling compelled to keep scrolling... i used to feel like i Had to read my entire tumblr dash backlog and would read things that made me mad/upset
over the years that changed to some degree but i still feel like it isn’t a format that i can consume in a healthy way
2. there’s a couple parts to the negativity aspect, and while these are both found on other sites i particularly associate them with my tumblr experience:
2a. as much as i hate hearing about people decry “cancel culture” and “sjws” (mostly because those are broad terms and i never know like! are u being reactionary because someone told you drawing cp / being racist / etc is bad or are you just annoyed with how over the top some people can be) it’s hard for me to be around so many people who like. do try to use social justice language to undermine others. im not particularly articulate right now so i’m having difficulty fully explaining this but basically.... no one is without fault and while it’s important to point out faults that genuinely cause harm to others, there is a line in terms of severity as well as longevity and i don’t think the distinction is made enough here (like someone using a slur in 2008? probably not a problem if they’ve changed, so maybe don’t give that the same weight as someone who advocates/admits to sexual abuse)
2b. there’s a lot of focus on mental illness diagnoses/symptoms and now that i haven’t been as engulfed in that it’s easier for me to like. not get bogged down in my own shit because it’s not on my mind as much.... there’s a lot of stuff that was very enabling (i.e. “if you’re feeling anxious don’t go to class” my anxiety brain: ok dont go to class / me: never goes to class)
3. the bad experiences have been both on tumblr and also during when i was using tumblr heavily and include:
• the entirety of my first year of college where i consistently didn’t go to class, had no friends at school, developed psychotic symptoms and lied to my family about nearly everything, losing their trust in me for years
• subsequent depressive periods, some of my lowest times
• multiple friends who are just. no longer in my life and thinking about them makes me grieve for a time when we were close
• multiple people who i thought were friends who genuinely hurt me in one way or another (and/or turned out to be predators!!)
• general cringey phases of my life
• the entirety of my relationship with my ex who: cheated on me more than once, publicly humiliated me several times, said i was useless/not special on multiple occasions, made fun of me and my interests, and did things with dubious and/or coerced consent on my end
• harmful attitudes i took to heart that made me a worse person at the time
some of these things i have recovered from, some i am still recovering from, but having the separation from the medium is helping me more firmly put my past in my past
as for how i’ve been lately, i’m honestly really great! i’m about to be hired full time at the workplace i’ve been contracting at for about a year (that i love), i love my gf, i finally got my associate’s degree last fall, i bought a car for the first time and i’m actually driving it and enjoying it, i’ve started doing artist alleys on the side, and i’ve been working with a therapist who is really really helping me through my mental health concerns
that’s not to say there aren’t any struggles - i’m still dealing with some long-term issues (again, time management... also trying to tackle organizing my stuff for years and i’m still working on it, there’s more of course), and some new things like! my parents are going to retire and i’m still living with them because it’s the bay area and i have to figure all that out, trying to fit in an exercise routine, etc etc
but overall, yeah i’m good!! i’m really looking forward to the life i have ahead of me
thank you if you read this, thank you if you’ve been a friend and/or positive influence in my life
it can be hard to move on but i know this is for the best!
our store was way busier than normal this week and we are nearly out of tickets so my GM hit up my man (we r both managers) and said. hey. can you drive to aurora (4 hours away) to get us tickets. and we did the math and realized that he would be paid his hourly rate for 8 hours, plus .56 cents per mile for 500 miles total. and he said HELL YES and left immediately. he gets to aurora, walks in, and there’s a cop trying to break up a fight between a guest and a cast member while another cop takes a manager’s statement. here are his thoughts on the situation as he waited
