Rejected Fables

shitposts, jokes, and dumb stories, with a smattering of fandom idiocy. This is your only warning for untagged spoilers, blood, and sexy stuff

[rejectedfables]

Pinned Post: 

This blog is casual Xue Yang cosplay, in that it’s just vibes that remind me of him, especially during the domestic years in Yi City-- you know, AFTER he stopped tricking Xingchen into murdering innocents, but BEFORE everything was ruined forever. The golden years of telling jokes and getting groceries. 

100% Xue Yang would tell stories to make his daozhang laugh, and the quality of the stories is irrelevant because the point is the laughter. I’m embracing that mentality.

[rejectedfables]

in polyphemus' defense, if 600 people broke into my cave and shot one of my pets, i too would try to murder every single one of them with a baseball bat

[rejectedfables]

[Tags by @hallaburger]

[tejoxys]

totally get why the 1st rule of Skeksis Club is "no killing each other," because if I, as a being comprised solely of my worst qualities, had to LIVE with a group of beings comprised solely of my coworkers' worst qualities,...

[madtomedgar]

Huh. Nmj is really bad at maintaining authority in meetings, even in his own house, when he is running the meeting, and is agreed to be in charge of the group. He just lets Jin Zixun highjack it and start shit. Lxc has to be the one to step in and get it back on track with "YOUNG MASTER Jin, thank youbfor your input. CLAN LEADER Jiang, would you be able to follow up with Wei Wuxian after the meeting on any deliverables? Great! Anyway."

Like I know this isn't his wheelhouse and Jin Zixun is a professional dickhead, and facilitation is hard. But. Bro. This is your house.

[madtomedgar]

Feels related to his inability to keep his men in line as soon as he was out of the room. I never want to hear him talk about how anyone else should have reined in someone's actions and is therefore responsible again.

[gremlinservant]

Just vaccinated three kids and got kicked thank GOD I am selling them today

Edit:

THIS IS A POST ABOUT GOATS!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

enough men with dead wife syndrome. i want women fresh out of toxic divorces venting their feelings through bloodbaths and john wick action sequences

[rejectedfables]

in polyphemus' defense, if 600 people broke into my cave and shot one of my pets, i too would try to murder every single one of them with a baseball bat

[xueyangdaily]

[momoboyds]

white europeans love to pretend like the united states and europe aren’t two cheeks of the same ass

[dogpuppy]

[doveywovy]

its so sad when a fanfic trope initially centered around noncon/dubcon gets popular enough that it turns into a watered down extremely consensual healthy-relationship version of it

as retribution i think i'm going to start taking vanilla tropes and making them noncon. the barista is putting roofies in the coffee. there's only one bed and the other guy is getting chained to the radiator. there's no social or legal protections for assault within soulmate matches

[testosteronetwunk]

santa claus after mrs claus sends him a pussy picture from the back.

[ordr]

Thanks for sexualizing peoples trauma fuckhead

anytime

[lilyblisslys]

me with the. When she. When her. When the she her me

[mollyjames]

[jame7t]

I still think it’s objectively fucked how the world is built for morning people and if you wake up later than everyone else you’re seen as a malicious aberration of some sort. I am that but it’s not because I wake up at 11 fuck yourself

[ewaneneollav]

*sits up in bed, stretches, yawns* it’s another beautiful, glorious day full of opportunity a- *ominous bell toll and i am instantly replaced with a 10,000-year-old mummy sitting in the exact same pose*

[victusinveritas]