Another Canon Divergence AU idea for "The Princess Bride" is that Westley ISN'T following Buttercup when she gets kidnapped. If he's not doing that, presumably intending on kidnapping and confronting her himself, then he really has no way of finding out about the kidnapping besides, again, spying on Humperdink and Rugen (which is very difficult to do). And if he's not there to follow the kidnappers almost immediately, then he has no way to intervene in time.
And Westley is really much to late to cross the water and climb the Cliffs of Insanity and all that, because Buttercup and her kidnappers are already at the border with Guilder. It's fine though, because when Fezzik and Inigo are confronted with the murder part of the job, they object, and Fezzik ultimately decides that he's really not cool with it. Fezzik thumps Vizzini over the head while Vizzini is berating Inigo. Fezzik apologizes to Buttercup. Inigo looks at the unconscious (possibly dead, heavily concussed at least) Vizzini, shrugs, and then helps Fezzik untie Buttercup and apologizes as well.
It's more than a little awkward, because none of them really know what to do besides wander vaguely back towards Florin. Buttercup admits that she doesn't really want to marry the prince, and he'll find her if she goes back to the farm, which leads into her telling the story of her dead true love, which Inigo and Fezzik find very romantic. Which leads into Fezzik and Inigo both sharing their own tragic backstories in turn. Buttercup is personally very intrigued by Inigo's mention of being in the revenge business.
And then Buttercup goes, "Wait a moment, I know a nobleman like that. Count Rugen is Prince Humperdink's closest friend and confidant, and he has six fingers on his right hand. I once had to sit next to them at a dinner table while they spent over an hour discussing all the troubles of finding a good glovemaker and skincare for their hands." (Rugen and his wife also once visited Buttercup and Westley's farm when they were younger, but Buttercup would more recently know Rugen from just... around the castle. Rugen is presumably going to be Humperdink's best man.)
So, Westley is like, "Where the HELL is the love of my life???" presumably harrassing Vizzini about it if Vizzini is still alive. And Humperdink has his theatric rescue party together to find Buttercup's body on the border, unknowingly following behind a rushing and frantic Westley, trying to keep his lies straight while he's internally like, "What the HELL happened to my kidnapping and murder plot to invite a war??? Rugen, I thought you hired the best??? It's so hard to find good help these days!"
Meanwhile, Buttercup, Fezzik, and Inigo are on a new friendship quest back to Count Rugen's house. Buttercup is the future princess, and so is presumably already acquainted with Rugen's young and beautiful wife, who has to let her in and be a good hostess. The Countess is like, "Buttercup... Who are these unkempt and intimidating men...?"
I *know* that in the original, Buttercup and Westley had this grand romance and Inigo took over the Dread Pirate Roberts name and Fezzik...did something. Did he have a plan? Maybe he becomes Inigo's first mate.
But imagine:
Humperdink and various soldiers catch up to Westley and the extremely useless Vizzini. Westley, recognizing the murderous fiance of his beloved, talks a good line and gets himself in Humperdink's...not good graces, the man is too suspicious for that, but at least begrudged tolerance.
Vizzini, of course, is executed before he can spill the beans. Or at least is gagged and taken to Rugen's secret torture dungeon. No big loss.
So that party heads back to the castle with the prince in A Mood (TM), and he's demanding someone bring him Rugen before he's even through the castle gates.
Meanwhile, back at Rugen's ACTUAL home (mini castle), Inigo is giving Buttercup a swordfighting lesson to pass the time and Fezzik is helping out with all those little chores that pile up while the lord is away. Like rearranging the furniture single handedly. The countess is actually quite charmed - he's very careful, and he keeps offering excellent suggestions about where to place different pieces for easiest use, and he doesn't mind moving things over and over when she changes her mind!
Anyway, the Nice Old King dies, poor man, and Humperdink summons all his nobles so he can rush through a coronation. Lady Rugen is all over the place, not knowing what to do, but she escorts Princess Buttercup and her sworn knights (aka they escort Lady Rugen) back to the capitol.
Something something, Inigo and Westley nearly come to blows over "that's my girl!" but then Humperdink opens his big dumb mouth and suddenly it's Westley and Inigo (and Fezzik) vs Humperdink and Rugen, and there's really only one way this can go.
Westley is now the king by right of conquest, assuming he even wants it, and Buttercup is putting her foot down that they are NOT breaking up their fun new gang, and Inigo and Fezzik are like "idc, man, whatever you want."
Anyway, Buttercup decides that SHE will be reigning queen, in her own name, and Prince Westley will be her consort and Inigo, newly ennobled as a count, will be her chief advisor. (And their lover, shhh.) Fezzik leads the Queen's Guard, and between him and Inigo, they whip everyone into actual effectiveness. Former-Countess Rugen becomes a lady-in-waiting to the Queen, which she likes much better than marriage to a man who plans wars and assassinations and new torture methods.
I'm not sure how Miracle Max fits in, but he definitely gets invited back to the castle. Maybe he revives the previous king ("he was only MOSTLY dead!" - Humperdink is terrible at poisoning), who then supports Buttercup's claim to the throne. He likes her, she's clever AND kind. The kingdom could use more of that.
Vizzini never recovers from his concussion and is eventually buried with the disgraced prince and count in an unmarked grave. Fezzik makes sure that lots and lots of buttercups are planted there every spring as a final "fuck you."
It's Aang! Sokka let me borrow Hawky. Please feed him before sending him back.
I'm writing to ask if it's okay for me to drop by. Except I'll probably be there by the time you get this, because Appa flies faster than Hawky. Still, it's polite to ask!
Write back (or don't.)
Hot regards
Your friend Aang
-
Revered Avatar Aang
Hawky arrived two hours after you left. Never send me "hot regards" again. Like I keep telling you, language has changed in the past 100 years. It doesn't mean what you think. Future historians will think we were having an affair.
It's always okay to drop by. Hawky has been fed.
May your inner fire warm you (write that down somewhere)
Fire Lord Zuko
2.
Hi
need 3 fire benders (zappy) + few construction workers + a lot of copper
Delivr to harbor
sokka
-
Honorable tribesman Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, son of Chief Hakoda, Hero of the 100 Year War
No.
May your inner fire warm you
Fire Lord Zuko
-
Dear Jerk Lord of the Jerk Nation, Master Jerkbender and All-Around Jerk
quit being stingy and send me what i need. seriously. the fate of your nation is at stake. LOOK:
[drawing of two pickles, a stick figure and waves]
Hot regards
Sokka
-
Sokka
Your drawing makes no sense. I'm writing a law which bans you from owning a messenger hawk.
I found you three volunteer firebenders who can lightningbend. They'll be there in a week with four carts of copper. If you need construction workers, beg Toph, don't bother me.
Feed Hawky better. He's malnourished, he keeps begging me for more food.
And don't do that.
Fire Lord Zuko
3.
Dear Honorless Usurper
My, how the time flies. It seems as if it was only yesterday that I was supposed to be crowned Fire Lord, and here we are, celebrating the first full year of your doomed reign. I salute you.
Know this: you won't know peace for long. I have entered into an alliance with Admiral Noboru. He is a true patriot and has kindly offered me three ships and 2000 men to retake the throne. He has also generously offered to serve as my consort, "despite my mental deficiency."
I am writing as a courtesy, as it is obvious that the throne will soon be mine. I might even let you live.
May Agni's light shine on you*
Azula
Fire Lord-in-exile
[* common benediction for the dead during Fire Lord Zuko's reign]
-
Dear Sister
Thank you for writing. I spoke with Noboru. I told him that I was allowing an Agni Kai and that you were on your way.
Noboru has fled the country. He gifted you his whole estate, see the enclosed list. He said to tell you he's sorry and not to come after him.
Please come visit any time. I hope your healing is going well.
May your inner fire warm you
Your brother Zuko
[enclosed: A list of assets including a home in the 5th Province, a vacation home on Ember Island, 20 acres of farmland, a substantial amount of gold and silver and assorted property]
4.
Zuko
this is the worst copper i've ever seen??? i want a refund. you're the worst copper merchant ever.
sokka
-
Sokka
You didn't even pay for the copper. I'm not giving you a refund. And I'm not a copper merchant. I didn't even buy it, somebody else did. What's wrong with it?
I can send you more if you need?
Fire Lord Zuko
-
Sokka
I sent you two more carts of copper. This is the best copper we have, so if it's not good enough, you can get your own and stop mooching off of me.
Fire Lord Zuko
5.
[on a thin sheet of metal]
Sparky! Earth Rumble 8 is two weeks from now. I'm coming to pick you up in the morning two days before.
Check it out: I can write now. Katara helped me with the characters but I've got it now. Hawky isn't strong enough to carry these, but Katara's dad is letting me borrow Seabreeze.
It's TOPH.
-
Dear Lady Beifong
You can't just come pick me up! I'm the Fire Lord. Two weeks isn't enough time for me to arrange days off.
I'd like to come watch you knock some heads, but I can't. Sorry.
Feed Seabreeze. Seriously. What's wrong with you people? Every bird you send me is starving.
May your inner fire warm you
Fire Lord Zuko
-
[on a thin sheet of metal]
Sparky. Thanks for sending me a sheet of paper but my privy is stocked. I can guess what it says though: "I can't go I'm so busy and I'm too much of a wimp to clear my schedule"
I'm coming to pick you up. Tell your guards they can either get out of my way or get CRUSHED. It's gonna be fun.
It's TOPH.
-
A painting of Fire Lord Zuko, Lady Beifong, Master Katara, Avatar Aang, Suki of Kyoshi Island and Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe. Lady Beifong is sitting on the Fire Lord's shoulders, holding up a decorative belt and smiling widely.
Important research for a story I'm writing! Not real life, never real life.
You are transported back in time and into the body of a young noblewoman in the 1400s. Your parents have married you off to an awful, abusive, rapist husband whom literally no one else would marry despite him being very high nobility because he's that terrible. You successfully produce a baby boy and then plan to murder this man for the good of everyone and yourself. Here is the question: do you think you could murder him in a way that is undetectable to the historical people around you? Note: they aren't stupid, you are the prime suspect as the battered wife AND you can't just say poison. Where are you going to buy poison? Do you know anything about poison actually? NO GOOGLING! You were sent back without a plan!
Do you think you could murder someone in the 1400s and get away with it with your modern know-how?
Yes, I totally have a plan (tell me for research purposes)
No, I realize that I'm very uninformed about murder
I have some ideas but I'm not sure they would work
i hate it when game devs putĀ āfixed several issuesā in patch notesĀ
no. tell me what you fixed. i wanna know what the glitch was.
you know those patch notes that are likeĀ āfixed an issue where if the player sat in a bush for too long, theyād become the size of a skyscraperāĀ
Adjusted value of Bees. Now that was a special oneā¦ because every item in the game had a minimum value, and a beehive was a container for bees, which each had a minimum valueā¦ which meant the moment one of your dwarves picked up a beehive, your entire fortressā net worth skyrocketedā¦ a value used in determining how powerful the foes that visit and try to murder you are.
Reblogging for the explanation of what āadjusted value of beesā actually means, because I know several folks following this blog have been wondering.
Actually I lied itās the one where after a major update werewolves and vampires started climbing the nearest tree and refusing to come down. It turned out that heād given evil creatures the ability to sense each other, but forgotten to set a maximum range on it, so werewolves were aware Hell was underground and trying to flee by climbingĀ
I do find Three to be such a fascinating addition to the Murderbot world because as soon as you have 2 datapoints instead of 1 youāre like āoh SecUnits have personalities. And ours is just an asshole.ā
best thing about uncle iroh is that if you pay attention he is actually just as much of an idiot as zuko but has just mastered the art of coming across as a wise old man. the even better thing is that zuko is the only one on the planet who somewhat realizes this and no one would ever believe him because he's zuko
like uncle iroh 100% does dumb shit on purpose sometimes to get people to underestimate him and keep zuko from capturing the avatar, but other times he just, and i cannot emphasize this enough, does impulsive dumb shit for no reason other than the fact that terminal stupid presumably runs in the royal family's blood
uncle: "you never think things through, prince zuko!"
also uncle:
once got captured by the earth kingdom army buck ass naked bc he really wanted to go to a hot spring in enemy territory
betrayed zhao at the Northern Water Tribe with no escape plan and then spent 3 weeks starving on a boat
immediately went to a spa resort upon publicly committing treason
ate a poisonous plant and, in the spirit of Two Fish Hook Sokka, was going to solve the problem by eating another potentially poisonous plant
decided the safest place in the world they could go was the city he once FAMOUSLY laid siege to for 600 days
instead of lying low or giving a modicum of a shit about people recognizing him, overachieved himself into becoming one of the most well-known restaurant owners in said city
in fact overachieved so hard that he got an invite to meet the earth king (whose city he, again, once FAMOUSLY LAID SIEGE TO) which he fucking? accepted????
#no wonder zuko was constantly frothing at the mouth! he's the only one who knows the truth!#god just imagine the number of times people have seen zuko yelling at iroh#and assumed zuko was just being mean#when zuko was actually yelling at his uncle for wasting all their money bartering with pirates AGAIN#everyone assumes iroh is babysitting zuko but really they're pingponging responsibility back and forth#and zuko at least has the excuse of being 16#anyway I love Uncle Hypocrite so much; funniest motherfucker on the planetĀ (via OP)
How much bigger is a wolf than a coyote? Is it just noticeably larger and bulkier or is it a massive size difference?
Also they're normally natural enemies in the wild but sometimes they occasionally hybridize?
depends on the wolf! for this exercise we'll assume a median coyote size of 30 lbs.
while all north american wolves are technically grey wolves (except the mexican red wolf!) there are more than twenty subspecies of the damn things, all of which can differ significantly in size and appearance! (many now displaced with some extinct)
for example, the mexican wolf is only barely bigger than a large coyote, with adults reaching the 50-90 lb range.
whereas the northern rocky mountain wolf has any coyote massively outclassed, ranging between 80-150 lbs!
most other north american wolves range somewhere in between. but this is why we don't say "the size of a wolf" much as a figure of speech, because they come in so many different sizes!
and when wolves and coyotes hybridize, it's generally because there's no other potential partners in the area for either animal, so they start being willing to look a little farther up the family tree, so to speak!
according to An Immense World, apparently giant squid eyes are, like, UNREASONABLY large, even for something their size living at those depths. the next largest eyes on earth, blue whale eyes, are less than half the size, and swordfish, who live at similar depths as giant squid and have the largest eyes of any fish, have eyes that could fit inside a giant squid's pupil.
eyes hit serious diminishing returns wrt resource costs vs vision quality as they get bigger, so the question became: what the FUCK do giant (and colossal) squid need to see so badly that they couldn't see with swordfish-sized eyes that's justifying that massive energy cost? that nothing else in the deep ocean needs to see so fucking badly??
turns out the one strength eyes that big really have over much smaller eyes is: seeing large glowing objects in water deeper than 500 meters from an appreciable distance.
sperm whales are the primary predator of giant squid. sperm whales don't glow. BUT! water that deep is full of bioluminescent creatures-- these creatures light up when bumped into. something a sperm whale's size is continuously bumping into those critters, it's just surrounded by a glowing field all the time when it's swimming at those depths, visible from a distance-- if you have the right eyes-- as a massive glowing shape. so basically the only reason to have eyes the size of soccer balls is if you live in the deep ocean and your life depends on having a heads up when a hungry sperm whale lurking around
and also I gotta say, the imagery... the huge lurking threat betrayed only by the ambiguous glowing shape of its movements through the water, is really evocative, if spooky deep-sea games aren't already using that to make things extremely ominous then they should really start
Further context: Durham city council (Reform UK) cut funding and support for Pride. The Durham Miner's Association and other trade unions raised enough money for Durham Pride 2026 to go ahead - a direct call back to when Lesbian and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM) raised money for mining communities when Margaret Thatcher seized union funding during the miner strikes of 1984-85.
At the 1985 Labour party meet, the motion to support LGBT rights as a party was passed due to a block vote from mining unions.
Stephen Guy, the chair of the Durham Minersā Association, said that when it became apparent Durham Pride was under threat, he took it upon himself to āencourage the trade union movement to step up and do the right thing, and stand shoulder to shoulder with the LGBT+ community [ā¦] They not only raised funds for us, but came to our communities, uplifted our spirits when they were down, and showed their solidarity.ā
It's important to have at least two blorbos that fit into specific roles in your life
The blorbo you can look to in hard times, and ask yourself what they would do in a situation, and draw motivation from them on how to be better and stronger!
The blorbo you can look to in hard times, and remind yourself that no matter what happens, you probably aren't going to fuck your shit up as much as they did even if you actively tried
You have to say what country you are in, given it differs. Ao3 does not have the email addresses public, but depending on how you use usernames online it can be traceable. But whether they care about it or are even allowed to look it up depends on your country though.
There is not a way to look up an ao3 account by email. It's not social media, so it doesn't have that "add your contacts" thing, and it isn't going to just pop up in a google search of your email address or anything like that.
(Exception: If your ao3 account name is the exact same things as the part of your email before the @, people may be able to make an educated guess.)
However, I would still advise:
Make a fandom email address.
Like, I am not a college admissions person, I do not know where in the world you are, etc etc, but the simplest and most expedient solution here is to make a second, separate email address ā preferably one that does not include your government name ā and change your ao3 email to that one.
You can do this by going to Preferences > Change Email on ao3. Very quick and easy.
(As an aside, I run events, and when you sign up for an exchange? The mods can see your email. It's how we send your assignments through ao3. There's a looooootta y'all out here using [email protected] or [email protected] or [email protected] (!!!!) for your ao3 and omg y'all please do not. š)
Fiction is fiction, and it shouldn't matter, but of course we live in the world. I understand your concern. Change your ao3 email, and breathe easy. :)
dededos
areudirty
vaporwave
turnnoffyourmind
titsay
jacobvanloon
