Relationshipsonline.com.au

Supporting individuals, partners and families in all their forms, providing tools to help them build awareness and the opportunity to achieve enhanced relationship skills and to recognise that they have the potential to shape and maintain quality and meaningful relationships.

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When conflict arises, try to communicate assertively and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions

When conflict arises, try to communicate assertively and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions, and try to focus solely on the issue at hand. If the argument starts to get out of hand, ask for a “time out.” Taking 5 to 20 minutes away from your partner will calm you enough to allow you to listen better and discuss the subject objectively rather than emotionally. Soothe yourself by…

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When conflict arises, avoid using blameful language towards your partner as that invites negativity into the situation

Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but if dealt with in a healthy, productive, and respectful way, it can bring you closer as a couple and make your relationship stronger. It is important to communicate assertively, take responsibility for your own feelings and actions, and focus solely on the issue at hand. For discussion: What does “take responsibility for your own feelings” mean to…

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How does non-verbal communication contribute to dealing with conflict?

Choosing your attitude and behaviour, and dealing with conflict in a healthy, productive, and respectful way, can bring you closer as a couple and make your relationship stronger. Choose to communicate openly and consider your non-verbal stance, expression and situation. This can creates trust and intimacy. Lean forward and show interest in your partners world by asking questions and listening…

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What is the difference between resolving an issue and managing an issue?

“Pick your battles” is often given as advice for avoiding unnecessary conflict, but if you apply this advice to serious issues, it can be detrimental to your relationship. Pride, bias, and defence mechanisms prevent us from dealing with conflict in a healthy, productive manner. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There are strategies you and your partner can use to effectively deal with conflict…

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It’s important to resist the urge to bring up past experiences that been resolved and reopen them for discussion

While embracing conflict and dealing with it can be uncomfortable, it can ultimately bring you closer as a couple. Try to acknowledge the current disagreement and work through the conflict by actively listening to your partner. Then, respect your partners view and remember you are on the same team – it’s okay to take a time out if you need to. For discussion: What are your automatic negative…

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Communicate assertively, take responsibility for your own feelings and actions, and focus solely on the issue at hand

It’s important to resist the urge to bring up past experiences that have already been resolved and reopen them for discussion. Acknowledge the current disagreement and work through the conflict by actively listening to your partner. Respect your partner and remember you are on the same team. Know when it’s okay to take a time out if you need to. Consider your automatic negative responses when…

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Am I ready to discuss my relationship? Pick a day where your emotions are calm

The development of skills can all to easily become over-shadowed by the feedback process. If we aim for a balanced approach in which feedback and the development of skills (eg. good listening skills; constructive ways of handling conflict) are both valued. Move forward only when both partners can confidently answer: Yes. We are ready to move ahead. Here are some thoughts to consider: Check…

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The 6 key areas of conflict in relationships: Technology

This series of posts explores each of the six big areas of conflict in relationships, emphasising that by taking intentional steps to discuss and resolve these issues, will have a lasting effect. Finances, Work (in and out of the house), Sex, In Laws, Children and Technology are the six big areas that dominate conflict in most relationships. Ensuring timely and open communication and pragmatic…

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The 6 key areas of conflict in relationships: Children

It is easy to get caught up in the demands of life to find we are living our lives narrowly focusing on work or home, and we forget or neglect ourselves and our marriage. Don’t allow the daily grind to become the focus to the exclusion of your marriage. Finances, Work (in and out of the house), Sex, In Laws, Children and Technology are the six big areas that dominate conflict in most…

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The 6 key areas of conflict in relationships: In laws

It is easy to get caught up in the demands of life to find we are living our lives narrowly focusing on work or home, and we forget or neglect ourselves and our relationship. Don’t allow the daily grind to become the focus to the exclusion of your relationship. Finances, Work (in and out of the house), Sex, In Laws, Children and Technology are the six big areas that dominate conflict in most…

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The 6 big areas for conflict in relationships: Sex

Finances, Work (in and out of the house), Sex, In Laws Children and Technology are the six big areas that dominate conflict in most relationships. Ensuring timely and open communication and pragmatic approaches to discussing issues that arise will ensure your relationship is sustained for the long-term. This series of blog posts explores each of the six big areas for conflict in relationships,…

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The 6 key areas of conflict in relationships: Work (in and out of the house)

It is easy to get caught up in the demands of life to find we are living our lives narrowly focusing on work or home, and we forget or neglect ourselves and our relationship. Trying not to allow the daily grind become the focus to the exclusion of your marriage is easier said than done. Finances, Work (in and out of the house), Sex, In Laws and Children are the six big areas that dominate…

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The 6 key areas of conflict in relationships: Managing Finances

Finances, Work (in and out if the house), Sex, In Laws, Children and Technology are the six big areas that dominate conflict in most relationships. Ensuring timely and open communication and pragmatic approaches to discussing issues that arise in these areas will ensure our relationship is sustained for the long term. All Relationships including those with your spouse and children (and others)…

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Premarital education: How to make it more than just a task on the wedding to-do list

Luckily, premarital education doesn’t have to be a one-and-done situation. Think of it more as planting a seed: you prepare the soil and give it water, sunlight, and fertiliser to provide it with the best chance to thrive. But the plant will continue to require care and nurturing to grow to its full potential. Marriage educators who provide guidance and support for couples at this stage can…

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Often a goal of marriage and relationship education is to increase the assertiveness and active listening skills of one or both partners

Based on research, PREPARE/ENRICH has discovered that there is a positive cycle linking assertiveness and self-confidence and a negative cycle linking avoidance and perceived dominance. In the positive cycle, as a person uses more assertiveness, their level of self-confidence tends to increase. As a person’s self-confidence increases, their willingness and ability to be more assertive…

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The more assertive an individual, the more they like the personality of their partner, feel good about how they communicate and how they deal with conflict

For Australia couples, measured over the past 8 years, statistics indicate that individuals who are Vitalised tend to be high in assertiveness and self-confidence and low in avoidance and partner dominance. Individuals who are assertive also tend to be self-confident and individuals who are avoidant tend to perceive higher partner dominance. Individuals who are high on assertiveness and…

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Australian Devitalised couples are more self-confident that their US counterparts

PREPARE/ENRICH research has found that satisfied couples tend to score high in assertiveness and self-confidence, and low in avoidance and partner dominance. Conversely, the tendency for unsatisfied couples is for one or both individuals to be low in assertiveness and self-confidence, and high in avoidance and partner dominance. PREPARE/ENRICH measures two components of overall…

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