[remelisa]

How I stay on top of Art Calls and deadlines. Sometimes helps. Other time overwhelm. But at least I have it to reflect and remind.

[remelisa]

Where Art Thou

Shit I dunno... As of late I have been feeling listless, directionless...... I am adrift and floating in a sea of emptiness and I know if I just paddle in one direction, I might find shore. I might find my direction. But is that where I want to be? I don't even know if I want to apply to grad school again. I keep thinking, "What is the point?" I have barely made any new work this year. I have been at a standstill for this entire year and I am frustrated. Back to floating. It is sort of nice to know that whichever way the wind blows I will then have a strong lead as to what I want to do with myself. But why leave that up to chance? Why am I bound to a force outside my control? I want control. I want to know. And plan. And feel secure. Don't we all? I suppose what frustrates me the most is all the success I had attained last year. I should be building up from that. But instead it is as if I have sprung a leak and my innards of spreading sideways and losing all upward momentum. And I only have myself to blame. Rather dramatic I suppose. But that doesn't change how I feel. I am frustrated and I should do something about it to change how I feel. But how? Adrift seems the comforting, irritating option. Waiting for a breeze to push me in a direction. Picking up drift wood or rubbish from the sea and tacking it onto my floaty to build a home here. Build my own security and stability. Float with me. It can be nice here if I can build life and community. Maybe that is all I need.

[remelisa]

Dream Journal: Expectations

I won't go into too much detail over my dream last night. Mainly because I don't want to jinx it. But let's just say my dream was acting like it was confirming a possible job outcome for me. But the thing is I won't know the real outcome till next week. I don't want to put all my eggs in a basket but my subconscious really wants to. Even though the dream was calm, I now feel anxious reflecting on it. I know there is power is positive thoughts, but I have been crushed when the expectation goes awry. I will remain hopeful but cautious. Although kuddos to my dream for reminding me of something I had neglected.

[remelisa]

Dream journal: Finding Power

I had a dream that I was basically Rogue from X-men, except my touch didn’t hurt others and my borrowing of other’s powers was only 5 minutes of use.

There were two factions of powered individuals, and one side deemed me an abomination, and sent assassins to kill me. The other side took me in and everywhere I went, I had a powered detail team and held hands with two specific folks. One whose skin was impenetrable, the other was super strong. It was like a huge platonic touch-fest. Nothing sexual about the touching but always needing to be close to someone. I remember holding a tree trunk like a bat and hitting boulders into a hillside. I was also able to fly thanks to another powered individual. But these gifts were short lived and if I weren’t careful, I could fall or get squished.

It is interesting that I have a power. But I wonder about my need to rely on others to enhance myself. I like to think I am super independent and can handle things on my own, however this dream has me thinking that I may have potential for greatness but it can not be attained through sheer self reliance. That I can become great with the empowering help of others. They didn’t necessarily come to my rescue, but loaned me the tools to safeguard and protect myself. It actually felt great to be so connected and intimate with others without fear or judgement. And that I need them and that is ok. Because without them, I would surely die. Also my power would be meaningless without them.

[remelisa]

Dream Journal: Catch Up

Two nights ago, I had a job anxiety dream. I knew it the moment I woke up. I dreamt that I was sent on a job out in a farming town and got a call from my boss telling me I would be fired if I didn't rent two cars. Being only one person, I felt the request was ridiculous, but he was firm about two cars. And then last night was a bit of a repeat from a dream I had several weeks ago. This is the second dream I've had where my friend's kid was playing on the stairs and fell off. I remember being so frightened that he got hurt. Another anxiety dream. I know why I have been feeling anxious. I am currently in limbo for a contract job but I won't hear anything for sure for another week. If I land this job, I would be set on a firm path and with financial security. However, I still have fears and doubts.

[remelisa]

Dream Journal: Communication

Last night I dreamt that aliens built a communication tower in my dreamscape. Now for the most part, throughout my entire dreaming experience, many locations in my dreamscape are reused in multiple dreams. In reality the buildings or rooms are foreign to me, yet I can recall them throughout numerous dreams. So hearing that a new structure was to be placed in my dreamland was disturbing to me. I felt distraught that they would do this without proper permission. To quell my protests, the dream changed and I was suddenly naked at a grocery store waiting in line with my mom. Btw I hate grocery shopping and hate waiting in lines. She made a remark about my nudity and strangers were giving me side glances, but I wasn't concerned about that. I knew I should be clothed, but I just didn't deem it a priority. I left the store and wandered next to a tall hotel building where clothes were thrown to the side. I put on a coat, called it good and entered the building. During the dream it was still only a vague building, but now awake and reflecting, I wonder if I knew the building was actually the communications tower and it was something I needed to investigate. I came up to the top, and turned out the pent house of the hotel was my brother's. He invited me in and we started drinking beer. It was suddenly Halloween and people kept coming to the door. One person was my friend since 1st grade and she came in and had a beer with us. Even in the dream I thought that was strange (yeah that part, not even the naked part), because she does not like beer, only wine. The dream then changed and I was no longer having a beer with my brother and long time friend but with two strangers. It was quite unnerving how my dream kept trying to distract or calm me. I suppose if one were to analyse it, the main topic is communication and fear of change. Or maybe fear of change is the bigger of the two. I rather enjoy my lack of a proper response to being nude in public. Anyway, really hoping aliens didn't put a psychic communications tower in my dreamscape. Until the next dream.

[remelisa]

Pina’s Ugly Crying

The title is still a work in progress. I am still in the midst of developing this idea. 

As my last blog may have explained, I am reconnecting with old tales from my mother’s homeland, the Philippines. I remember one of the bizarre stories my mom had told me of Pina, the beautiful but lazy girl who got turned into a pineapple. It is a rather odd tale. I have heard/read several different takes on it which really changes the perspective/narrative of the tale and the lesson to be learned. 

So far the elements I will be using involve my own actions. Sure I could paint/draw this idea out, but I know I can get a stronger emotional response through video and through using a real person and the time aspect can also influence the piece.

I am still piecing together what it all means. Or at least what is all means to me. Every viewer will have a unique perspective and may interrupt my work vastly different from my own narrative, which is fine. However I do want to put in elements of what I want it to mean. It feels like this piece is about confrontation. Because I filmed myself crying, I want to expose my viewers to this vulnerable moment. One thing I had found interesting was that I have several different types of cries. I was listening to some songs that filled me with longing and pride and I cried. Songs of heartbreak, lost, and regret, and I cried. Songs that made me angry. It is interesting that crying only gets associated with sadness, when really, humans cry for all occasions. I think I would like to incorporate that idea into the piece, but that is hard to translate with only eyes (I filmed tightly and focused only on my eyes).

I also have to figure out how closely do I want to tie in the Pineapple myth. So I only want to reference it, but not incorporate it entirely onto the piece? Yeah, but that poses the danger of not fully acknowledging the point of the story or the point I want to make by referencing it. It can simply be because I want to overlay a pineapple with my head and have me crying while the pineapple is being sliced open to reveal the “eyes”. I think I like the idea of a multifaceted, human experience on emotion. So if I do still go with the slicing and the crying, that is already conveying a lot of pain and sadness, when really, emotions range from so many parts. I think I will have to either use music of dialogue to convey that part. 

Anyway, I am still in the figuring out stage and working it out as I go along. Until next time.

[remelisa]

Art Idea: Bringing Myths to Life

Born and raised in America, I am quite familiar with European mythologies; Greek and Nordic. Very little outside of those; such as Egyptian, Japanese, and Chinese myths. And even fewer from my mother’s country, the Philippines. 

I have a hard time connecting to either side of my ethnicity on either side. Being bi-racial is a weird splitting sensation. I am one, but other view me as two seperate entities. There are these weird expectations from strangers who think I am an expert on being Filipina, even though I am raised in Spokane, WA and influenced by my geographical culture of being an Inland Northwestern in America. Yes, my mother influences me too, but so does my dad. So do my friends. My school. My job. The only times I really get in touch with my mom’s side, is through food. I can barely speak Tagalog. I can still count, and tell my Ates in Tagalog that their food is delicious, but beyond that, nada.

I would like to get in touch with my roots. But what does that really mean? At least what does it mean for me? My roots spread throughout two distinct families. My dad’s Irish/German/Euro mix who have all immigrated to the States. My mom’s relocation from her homeland, the Philippines, to America, with her family originating from the Philippines, but they all live scattered throughout the globe. I have cousins in Canada, New York, Romania, Kuwait, Japan, and very few still living in the Philippines. And then there is my own roots. My own birth and growth has been in the same location for nearly 28 years now.

I think my roots are hungry to learn more. And so I plan to start a series of art projects the delve into myths from my ancestors. Myths are personally fascinating. They are the stories our ancestors told and retold in order to explain the world around them. 

I suppose I will have to personally determine how far do I go back in regards to my ancestors. I suppose it also means how well my relatives have kept records of the past. Honestly, this project can easily branch off into numerous categories of research.

However, for now I am in search of Filipino myths and stories (Pre- & Post Colonial). I am recounting the tales my mother has told me and doing a bit of internet research in addition to her stories. Yet, I want more. I feel that the amount of materials I have is lacking.

If anyone has a Filipino myth/story, I’d love to hear it. 

[remelisa]

How to get started as an Artist. Intro.

I personally feel like that question is loaded whenever someone asks me this. First off, it isn’t like I am super successful (yet). So I do not consider myself as the go-to expert. However, I am learning as I go, and I suppose I do have a steady foot in the door...as it were.

Before truly answering that question. You need to answer this one: What do you want to accomplish by being an artist? What is your end goal? Do you want to make money as an artist? (Duh). Do you want to be successful? Do you want to show in as many galleries as humanly possible? (Basically pull a Damien Hirst and have a global opening exhibition in major cities throughout the globe.) Do you want a solo exhibition? Do you want to be the go-to for public art? 

If the answer is yes to all of the above, then you my friend, have a long but gratifying journey that we can take together. 

You always need to get honest with yourself when it comes to your art. There are many paths in the Art world, and different venues that cater to different needs and expectations when it comes to art. You need to classify your art, and also know its limitations. Yes, art is subjective and how dare I tell you to simplify the grandeur of your work, but your work was not touched by the hand of God so get over yourself and put your ass off that pedestal. Honestly now.

For instance, I am a sculptor. I love making objects and working with the physicality of my materials. So when it comes to art exhibits calling for painting submissions, obviously I should not apply because I don’t paint. Another example is style. I will get into that one in another post. But I suppose if you compare graffiti to realism. Obviously both very different and distinct styles and taste (although the merging of the two have happened and I love it.) But you get what I mean. You need to study the gallery/magazine/audience that is putting a call out for submissions, because it is likely their taste, and yours do not mix. 

So what do you do? What is your art? How do you wish to move forward in your own career? If you are greedy like me and want to do it all, then stay tuned for my next article/blog on “How to get started as an Artist: I have artwork, what now?”.

[remelisa]

Jobs for Artists: Arts Commission/ City Arts Fund

What: Every bustling city in the United States has funding for the arts and have a department dedicated to making sure these funds get utilized for the city. And if you have administrative skills and are passionate about the arts, then perhaps this is the place for you. There are several different positions within such organizations. Even though they are involved in the Arts, their jobs are heavily in the administrative side, with dealing with paperwork, research, organizing events, and sometimes they finally get their hands dirty with paint.

Where: Pretty much every city... Can’t speak for the ones with population of under 5,000.... but be sure you check for yourself! You might be surprised! Check your state website, county, and city for job openings. Check often and apply fast because those job listings typically stay up for a handful of weeks and then they are gone.

How: This isn’t necessarily an artist job. You do get to have creative moments, but it isn’t heavy on creative making. If you have strong organizational skills, efficient with a computer, and research skills, and you don’t mind an office job, this could be a job for you.

[remelisa]

Jobs for Artists: Making Public Art

What: Did you know that when a government building is built that at least 1-2% of the cost to build it is taken into account so that they can use those funds to purchase art? So public schools, libraries, and such, when they are constructed, the budget legally has to allow for the cost of art to decorate. Now, typically they go for a big purchase, hence public arts that decorate their facade are placed. And they need artists who can dream up and create something that will grace their structures or courtyards.

Where: Everywhere, but the best way is to stay in tune with your city’s art mission board. If they have a newsletter, get on it. Find a way to be in tune with your own city’s need for art.

Another place to look is callforentry.org

How: So you don’t make bronze sculptures.... why is that the only form of public art? Longevity, puh-lease, however that is a topic for another day. Well depending on the budget, you can actually go to a foundry and they do the technical aspect of creating a bronze sculpture if that is what you truly want to make. Same with hiring someone to weld, or do the main construction. You get to be the dreamer who imagined the concept. No one actually said you have to construct everything by your hand. There is nothing wrong with hiring someone to build it for you, especially if they are skilled, whereas you aren’t, but your idea is the one that is coming to life so be proud of that. Murals are also public art, so don’t feel like your are restricted when it comes to making public artwork.

Things you’ll need to succeed: Now most likely you will have to create a proposal to present to a committee. You will need to be able to visually represent your idea, whether in form of drawings, a mock up created by images on Photoshop, or even photographing a scaled down version. You will also need to be able to estimate a budget. Cost of materials, labor, and payment for your work. Yes, you do get paid in this too. And you should. If you end up doing all the labor work, than pay yourself there too, but if you budget it to hire others, then plan accordingly. You will also need to be able to articulate your idea on paper and present yourself as a professional. Otherwise you might not get the commission after-all. Have a clean and precise resume, especially if you have previous experience, or skills/knowledge that can help them pick you. Don’t worry if you don’t, but hopefully you’ve done some creative work in the past, or have shown in an exhibition (even if it was for school, it still counts).

If working as a public artist intrigues you, I urge you to do research. Research what else can help you in this endeavor. Where I live, Artist Trust provides workshops and seminars for artists to gain skills and knowledge towards these sort of jobs. If you apply, research the town or area as thoroughly as you can. Do research on who to hire, like what foundry to use, or cost of shipping, or materials. Do your homework and it will show.

[remelisa]

Clay Mischief

Life after graduating with my BFA, and right out the gate I purchase 50lbs of Ckk6 clay. I have a friend’s mom who is willing to trade for me to be able to use her kiln in exchange monetary or helping around her house, which either way is a huge score. I can’t have a kiln in my apartment, so as soon as I got permission, I got my clay and I got a ton of underglazes and clear glaze. 

I have been following a fantastic ceramicist on Instagram, Jason Briggs, who incorporates hair into his pieces that make references to various body parts. They are so fleshy, and I love that his attachment of the hair reminds me of inserting hair for dolls, like Barbie, with the making of holes to later inset the hair strands.

I thoroughly believe that it is important to research other artists and see what they are doing, how they are doing it, and hear/read why they do what they do. Call it inspiration, research, or copying...either way it is important to learn and take what you have gathered and to internalize it into your own work.

So I have been brainstorming what exactly to make with my clay. Do I follow after Briggs and make forms that curve and bend like body parts? Perhaps, especially since I am planning to use hair as well which is always going to refer back to the body, but I’ve got to figure out my forms for myself. I know I just need to get my hands dirty with the clay and whatever form emerges will be organic in nature. At the moment here I am typing about my process...staring at two 25lb bags of clay...thinking about it... when I should just Nike commercial it up and just do it.

[remelisa]

I've been creating 3D objects in Blender, and then exporting them out and coloring them in Photoshop. This is just so much fun.

[remelisa]

"It's Only Wrapping Paper" Sculpture piece made with paper I hand stamped with my hand carved vagina stamp. You can get your own wrapping paper at Etsy.com/shop/recstudio

[remelisa]

Final Countdown

Fall 2015-Spring 2016 is my final year as an undergrad. I have anally planned my Fall, Winter, and Spring quarter with no wiggle room which has been causing me to feel pressured and stressed. I suppose if I want to take the easy route, I don’t have to double major. I also don’t have to get my Bachelors in Fine Art and instead, as of this moment, I can just get my Bachelors in Studio Art and call it in order to just be done... But from my own upbringing (thanks Asian family side), I do feel that I would be limiting myself and why go for the easy way when I can go for the gold! As long as I am capable and willing, I might as well go for the upgrade. Otherwise, it feels like I’d be lying to myself and that would end of being the pattern of the rest of my life. Why cheat myself out of this opportunity?

Over the summer I had made a list of potential projects to work on. Sadly I have not started any of them, but hey, I’ve got the ideas, and maybe they aren’t the best they could be. Maybe they need to stew a bit more in my slow cooker of ideas till they are delicious and ready to serve...

I also feel a bit odd. I know I shouldn’t, but I have been comparing myself to my peers. Bad Remi.... Mainly because my peers and myself are all so different in every way. From our preferred materials for making art, to their view points of what they want to accomplish.

Maybe that fear is that I am going to burn out. Well, either way... This is the final countdown for my school year. I will play Europe’s “Final Countdown” every chance I get.