âcause when iâm with him, I am thinking of you.
âfred weasley
message from reminisce-me: is this butt or what???? and iâm sossoosoo sorry if the ending seems rushedđ«° sorry for taking so long on thisđ
okay. bai. love yall.
ever since youâd arrived at hogwarts, it was like you were an outsider. sure, you arrived at the same time as everyone else, and, yes, you had the greatest friends you could ever ask for, but you couldnât help feeling alone. once you figured out why, you stopped trying to fix it.
everyoneâevery single one of your friendsâwas finding their person. ginny had kind of always had harry, and ron had hermione, even though they were painfully oblivious, and george had angelina. but⊠you never really got to that point. with the witchâto put it nicelyâumbrigde making up new rules every hour of the day and he who must not be named becoming a danger again and half your friends dating or having very thick romantic tension and your friend group being split apart, you didnât know what to do.
though⊠a certain weasley was there. fred weasley. you had always had something for him, an extra frill of the heart when you saw him, but no. no, ginny would kill you! angelina had already tested the waters, and even though they werenât the bestest of friends, ginny gave both george and angelina the cold shoulder for about 4 weeks and 3 days. of course you counted, it was basically a test run for what your future may look like if these feelings for fred didnât stop.
you remember the first time you guys met vividly. you were sitting on the train on the way to hogwarts, extremely nervous, with your cat tucked into your lap. you already missed your parents, badly at that. you werenât ever one to have horrible attachment issues with your parents, but seeing them waving at you with melancholy expressions sure did pull on your heart strings.
âanyone sitting here?â a sort of high pitched voice pulled you out of your head, the red headed boy gestured to the seats. âall the others are full.â
as you shook your head no, you noticed the boy had an identical twin.
âare you guys twins?â you asked.
âno, weâre bloody cousins.â one started, but no bite was in his voice.
âof course weâre brothers.â said the other. âiâm george.â
âand im fred.â the other said.
before you could introduce yourself, there was another knock on the window.
âhello? is there any space here?â a girl asked. she had dark brown skin, with black hair put into countless braids, cascading down her back. her voice showed impatience, but no malice.
you nod and scoot your things over so she can sit next to you.
âiâm angelina.â she says, flashing you all a smile.
as the conversation progressed, you noticed small, skip-able things about the twins that helped tell them apartâtheir noses, lips, gestures, etc.
and thatâs how your friend group began. it expanded noticeably. but⊠after about third year, things with fred became⊠weird. at certain times, he sat almost too close. and, yes, you usually felt his gaze lingering on you when youâd be in the sane space.
there was another special instance that stuck with you. it was just george, angelina, fred, and you. george and angelina kept flirting, even while we were setting up another prank. fred and you were third wheeling, obviously, but surprisingly it didnât suck. long story short, something went wrong and george and angelina got split up from fred and you. you both had to run into a small closet to escape from the evil claws of filch and his snitch of a cat, mrs. norris. you two ended up so close, you could feel his breath mingling with yours and you swore you could feel his heart rate speed up when your hands brushed. he looked down at your lips and his head moved a fraction before the door slammed opened, and with it showing angelina and george.
but, sure, it was 100% platonic between you two.
âthatâs just how he is!â youâd say, but angelina would just sigh and roll her eyes at your dismissive antics.
âyeah, and george here is related to queen elizabeth.â sheâd sigh.
cormac mclaggen had decided you were his next victim, only after hermione almost hexed him. he was nice enough, and very easy on the eyes, and basically obsessed with you, so you decided to accept when he asked you out.
and⊠that leads to now. you guys have been dating for about 3 months now, and things changed. badly. at first, he was nice. maybe a bit dismissive at times, and extremely self centered, but he cared⊠when he wanted to. and yeah, sometimes you askedâyes, asked, because he cares so deeply for you, obviously!âto go out with the usual lot and heâd say no⊠but itâs only because he cares! totally.
âcome on, we barely ever go out with you! we miss you.â whined hermione.
ââmione, cormac is practicing quidditch. i donât want to bother him. he could he mad.â you say, guiltily glancing at hermione. âplus, guys will be there.â you sigh.
âyeah, only the same guys youâve been friends with since first bloody year!â hermione pointed out. âplease. we all miss you so much. like old times.â said hermione, pulling gently on your hand.
you looked up at her, then back down at your bed, then sighed.
âfine. fine, iâll go.â you said, getting up. you were met with a loud squeal coming from hermione as she told you to hurry and rushed out to tell the others.
you all ended up in the three broomsticks, booming laughter and a deep, warm filling being remembered. it was fun while it lasted.
â[reader]?â you heard a deep, angry voice say behind you.
you turned around, and there he was, in all his fury. you immediately stood up, grabbing your hands with a sickeningly familiar scared feeling starting back up.
âcormac?â you breathed.
âwell, what in merlinâs name are you doing just standing there? you couldnât even bloody ask me. weâre leaving.â he snapped.
âiâm sorry, i didnât thinkââ you started.
âof course you didnâtââ he was immediately cut off.
âdonât speak to her like that.â fredâs deep voice spoke. his voice slightly softened, â[reader], you donât have to go.â he stood, standing beside you.
your heart fluttered as if you werenât just on the verge of tears. but then you were reminded by large hands grabbing onto your wrist, painfully tight against your skin.
âfred, itâs really okay. iâm really sorry, guys. and im sorry for causing a scene.â you breathed, sparring them one glance before looking down.
â[reader], you donâtââ fred started again, but you shake your head and his voice trails off.
youâre pulled out of that tavern, all the way to his dorm. he yells at you, but⊠he didnât hit you. itâd only be bad if heâd have hit you, right? thatâs how it works?
âcause when iâm with him i am
that night, you couldnât sleep. not because the slight pain in your wrist only worsened when you put pressure on it, but because fred was consuming your every thought.
when cormac asked you out, the only thing you could think about was fred. his hair looked slightly different. still messy, but the slightest change seemed to be the most important thing. when cormac first kissed you, you hate to admit this, but you imagined it was fred. what would his lips feel on yours? would he grab the back of your head like cormac or would he cup your face? would you be able to feel his smile on your lips? and now tonight. he seemed so frustrated that cormac spoke to me like that.
was looking into your
â
would he treat you like this?
âŠyou donât try to answer that, but only because you know the answer.
the next morning at breakfast, things arenât any better. cormacâs had at least one finger on you since last night, and your friends keep giving you sorry glances. every touch you receive from cormac is just reminds you of fred. you wish he was next to you, not cormac. naybe he wouldnât be holding you so tight. your eyes drift to fred, and his are already on you.
â[reader]? babe?â your eyes move to cormac.
âsorry, what was that?â you look up at him.
âwhy do you keep looking at weasley over there?â he asks.
âme? oh, i was looking for my friend⊠alicia!â
âright⊠well, tonight thereâs a quidditch game and i need you to go. need a little cheerleader.â he smiles, already looking away, and you only nod.
âyeah.â you nod, looking down at your food with a concealed sigh.
i look down at her wrist and thereâs faint scarring from yesterday. sheâs so obviously bored. i stab my fork into my waffles. why would she let him talk to her like that? she knows I would never talk to her like that. and sheâs letting that bloody coward do that?
you were getting ready in your dorm for the game, when ginny came in. she sat on your bed, but didnât talk for a while.
âiâm sorry.â she says, looking so genuine you could cry.
âwe all know. [reader], you could do so much better.â she says.
you blink away tears before starting, âi canât. i⊠i donât know. i just canât. i donât know how.â you continue trying to distract yourself.
âyou can. just⊠please.â ginny said. she took a breath, but before she could say anything, you spoke.
âithinkiminlovewithfred.â you say quickly, your heart dropping at the words that came out of your mouth. you put your hand over your mouth.
âyouâre⊠what? first angelina and george, then you? i canât bloody believe this!â ginny said whilst standing.
âwait, gin, please. donât be mad, please. i canât help my feelings. andâand iâve tried, i really have.â after a moment of silence, you speak quietly, âyouâre the only one who knows.â
saying it out loud made it feel real. like you were suffocating in your current relationship. this was the moment you realized you never liked cormac. he always moved too fast, and he was the kind of person to ignore anything you say about yourself just to speak about himself. he once got you roses. the one time he bought you flowers, he got you roses. why is that such a big deal? you dislike roses, deeply. youâve expressed this multiple times, but obviously it went unnoticed.
âginny, i have to go.â you say, quickly standing.
âwhaâwe were in the middle ofââ ginny sputtered, but youâd already left.
you headed for the common room, your feet moving faster than your mind. you saw him there. cormac and his performative nonchalance. him and fred had something alikeâthey were both usually surrounded by people. one thing they didnât have in common was that people naturally gravitated towards fred. you didnât really know if it was because of fredâs charismatic nature or the fact that cormac was always so engrossed with himself, but the subtle mood switch from when cormac started talking was always something you had to make yourself ignore. to not think of him.
âcormac!â you said, your voice too loud. you cleared your throat, then begun again. âcormac, i need to speak with you.â
âwhatâs up, babe?â he said, only manspreading more.
ânot here. alone.â you said.
he sighed and hauled himself up like it was the hardest thing ever. he had a tendency to do that when he had to do literally anything for you.
when you both arrived in the hall, you started.
âiâŠâ your voice faltered and all of a sudden, you realized what you were about to do. âi donât think this is working out. us, i mean.â you said, looking at your hands while saying it, and then looking at him once you were done.
âwhat? what in the bloody hell do you mean, ânot working outâ? youâre dating me. i could do so much better, you realize that?â he says, scoffing.
âwhat does that mean? youâre such a douchebag!â you exclaim.
he scoffs. âso youâre serious about this? canât believe this. is it because that carrot head git?â
you look down. âthat⊠weâre over. thatâs it.â you say, already turning to walk away.
âdonât come running back!â he yells after you. typical.
you simply scoff as you run into the common room again.
âanyone know where fred weasley is?â you say into the crowded room.
âquidditch pitch, âm pretty sure.â someone yells.
so youâre actually doing this? well, you donât really know what youâre doing, but you know itâs gonna get done. that makes sense, right?
before you know it, youâve made it to the quidditch pitch, where, surely enough, fred is practicing. he spots you and his brows go up in confusion.
âfred! i need to, uhm, speak with youâŠ? itâs not a question, i donât know why i made it sound like a questionâi need to speak with you!â you finally get out, breathing hard. merlin, you havenât even said anything.
he flies down on his broom until heâs eye-to-eye with youâexcept heâs not because heâs 6â3âŠ
âwhatâs up with you, you look all twitchy.â he questions, half joking.
âiâm notâthatâs besides the point. i kind of⊠i⊠goodness, i really canât get this out.â your hands begin to shake slightly and you canât barely even make eye contact with him.
âwell, get it out.â he says, his joking demeanor slowly melting into concern. âseriously, [reader] youâre scaring me.â
before either of you register any movement, you feel your lips touch. all the breath leaves your lungs and you close your eyes. the only reason you pull away is because of the little noise you hear from fredâsomething between an enclosed gasp and a muffled word.
âbloodyâiâm so sorry. iââ before you can say another word, fredâs lips connect with yours again, this time on his accord. you feel his hands, one around your waist and the other on the side of your neck, his thumb rubbing your jaw. youâre so overwhelmed, youâre not sure where to put your hands. they end up around his neck.
you feel the dampness of his hair and the way his head moves in as he continues kissing you. good thing heâs holding you up, because you might have fallen by how weak your knees are.
when he pulls away, you just look at him.
âyou didnât let me finish.â you say, in a quiet voice.
âi think i know what you were gonna say.â he says, grinning.
written by reminisce-me đ„ Ę â§ . Ęâč
