This is my main blog!! I like to reblog lots of fandom stuff (I primarily hang out in the yttd tag), and I post most of my art and writing and personal thoughts here. Follow me and you'll get eeeeverything Volta-related.
My ""main"" is @shimmershy , but that just means you'll receive likes and follows from there. I sign my art with that name, but that blog's mostly just for Undertale/Deltarune stuff.
Carrd?
(My mes, presented in a Cool and Fun way)
( #❁ , #★ , #❤︎ , #[¯◉°] ) (It's easier to search tags on an account by clicking on them on a post rather than putting them in the search bar. Just a note because I just learned that!)
Disclaimer: I don't ship anything ever, every relationship is platonic to me or Secret Third Thing or Nuanced in some way I don't feel like labeling. Hashtag AroAces your experience (by my own association)
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I'm also spiritual fictionkin! Most relevantly, I am Chara Dreemurr and Shin Tsukimi, and that affects the way I feel about a lot of things related to the games they're from. Other than that, not dropping the kinlist all at once, but some of them might be obvious. I might post about it from time to time.
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Things I'm into most right now (I update this every so often):
✧Your Turn to Die
✧Omori
✧Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun
Other stuff I like: UTDR, Oshi No Ko, Hilda (series), Evangelion, The Glass Scientists, Blue Lock, Your Turn to Die, Omori, Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun, Wolfwalkers, Petscop, Luca (movie), Bee and Puppycat, Over The Garden Wall, Epithet Erased, Gravity Falls, Infinity Train, Glitch Techs, The Dragon Prince, The Owl House, Dead End: Paranormal Park, Kid Cosmic, Bungo Stray Dogs, Project Sekai, Vocaloid, Death Note, Witch from Mercury, Dungeon Meshi, Spy X Family, etc.!
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Tags:
#my posts = Any original posts by me, as a way of filtering out stuff I've reblogged
#my art = Any art I make
#volta art bonus content = Sometimes I like to reblog my art and add extra commentary to it, so you can check that out here!
#my writing = Currently just YTTD analysis/theories, but eventually there will be fanfiction here too.
#doodles = sketches or doodles or otherwise uncompleted art
#*text = text posts by me
#described = I try to add image descriptions to my art and images when I can, and this is the tag I'll use for those
#undescribed = For images without image descriptions (although doesn't include posts I reblog.. sorry..)
#fictionkin = Sometimes I talk about fictionkin related things here so I just use the general tag for that
#[media title/abbreviation] spoilers = If I'm posting about something that just came out, I try to tag for spoilers at least for the first few weeks after
#Volta moment = Art of me :3
#Volta's OCs = My Ocs!!!
#the journal = Started out as personal nonsense doodles, but now it's where I post my daily(ish) fictionkin journal (discontinued)
Crab bucket mentality kyaaa… I think about final attraction all the time and it will soon become obvious to everyone here but this isn’t my finest work (yet)
coming back to my art blog with the last thing i posted here, just like 3 years later. anyways i know this is a homestuck meme but i got tired of drawing homestuck characters and 3/9 is good enough for me
heres the blank version if anyone wants to do this old meme too
Hey, man, c'mere. Listen. Get in real close, this is important.
You're gonna make stuff again. You're gonna make stuff you're proud of. You're gonna make stuff you're excited to share. You're going to feel that overwhelming drive to create, not just the frantic I want to want to you're stuck in now. You're going to have awesome ideas, and you're going to make them into reality. You're going to create again. You're still an artist. You're still a writer. You're still home to the same passion you had before. You'll find it again. It's not gone. It's just resting. Let it rest. You're going to make stuff again. I promise.
I had a moment today where I was talking to a friend, and Sunset Shimmer got brought up somehow, and in the back of my mind I just thought "I think I'm Sunset Shimmer." Just casually and passively because like, it brought up the memory of how I was super focused on her as a character when I was a kid in the same way I care about characters like Chara and Shin now, and it's just like. Funny. It's funny to realize how much I came to understand myself as a person through her in the same way I do with characters I feel close with now. 90% of the fanfiction I wrote was about her, and I remember this one fic I wrote that was just a retelling of a sleepover with my friends with Sunset Shimmer as me. It's sillyyy. It's cute. I didn't think of it that way at the time, but I really saw myself in her more than any other character.
And for those reasons, I had been considering the idea that I was her in a fictionkin way for a while but didn't care too much to really figure it out because it's not an identity I would take too seriously, just since I've moved on from MLP as a main interest of mine. But for that very brief moment, it felt kinda right and fun to just be Sunset Shimmer talking to my friend. In a way holding onto a piece of my younger self that I hadn't thought about in years.
The fondness event with Sara and Kai in ytts made me think of the parallels between Kai and Midori again. Specifically about how they approach relationships. As always, I don't feel like I can express my thoughts as eloquently as I want to, but I do think the setup of similarity and contrast between the two is interesting. Both of them being raised under the organization, there's a level of disconnect that they have to have in their relationships, with Kai's being primarily physical distance and Midori's being primarily emotional/psychological.
The thing that stood out to me was the way Kai takes note of Sara's likes and dislikes, like in the notes on his laptop. It's naturally the kind of attentiveness you pay to someone you care about. That's the way it's portrayed on his laptop anyways. But I thought it was interesting that he's kind of weird about it and refers to it as "data" in this direct interaction with her. (Ignore that I'm doing so so poorly and am about to lose the game in the screenshot LOL..)
Not only that, but he waits until after Sara tries the fruit to mention that it's sour. It just kind of reminded me of the way Midori was always observing Shin and his reactions to things, collecting "data" on Shin in a similar kind of way. (This got to be very long, so please continue reading below.)
Of course, in both situations, there's an aspect of necessity in the way Kai and Midori observe Sara and Shin respectively. Kai's mission from Asunaro was to keep an eye on Sara, in addition to his job as a homemaker for the Chidouins requiring a level of attentiveness, and Midori had to observe Shin for the creation of his AI and doll and likely just to keep tabs on him for Asunaro. Interestingly, they're complete opposites in how close they're able to get to the people they're observing, with Kai only keeping an eye on Sara "from the shadows", and Midori spending almost every day by Shin's side. That's why it's ironic that Kai is the one who outwardly grows and changes the most, while Midori stays adamant about obeying the will of the organization. Kai ends up channeling his experiences within the organization into motivation to protect more people from getting harmed by it, while Midori maintains his distance and mindset until the very end. Despite Kai's physical distance from knowing Sara directly, he cares about her life beyond what he can get in return, while Midori keeps up a facade of knowing Shin and letting Shin know him in return, but maintaining distance from any real emotion or connection he may feel, maintaining a sense of control over the situation.
Their similarities lie in how unnaturally they approach relationships and/or express their care for people, likely having never received a good example of how to care for someone in the past. There's no room for that when you're training to become an assassin, or devoting your entire life to an organization built on lies, that views your life as completely expendable. They're similar in the way they're never really able to get close to anybody due to their positions in Asunaro. But beyond that, they actually become pretty contrasting characters. While Kai was raised with a hint of love and companionship amidst hostility (his connection with Sei and his father trying to give them both bits and pieces of a happy life), perhaps Midori didn't get so lucky. While Midori committed himself entirely to the organization, never given a reason to question it, Kai rebelled against it. Kai learned to love; Midori experimented with love, and pushed himself away further from it.
I think most of all it's interesting how their circumstances and experiences shaped them. It's why I feel very sympathetic towards Midori too, because the thing about him is that he became exactly what he needed to be in his situation. He was so successful in that that he never had the opportunity to question anything different. He didn't have a choice. He's kind of a hard character to have sympathy for because of how readily he commits to not showing weakness and putting himself in a position above others, to removing himself from his humanity, but it's also because of these things that makes me more sympathetic towards him. He's a character built on fear and striving for a sense of control when it really comes down to it. He's built on illusions. He has an air of inevitable tragedy to him because he has nothing outside of the organization that will ultimately betray him, yet seems perfectly comfortable and happy in this role. It makes me curious about whether he has the capability to change in a similar way to Kai, if his circumstances changed. BUT I'm also horribly biased in wanting to look more into him as a character. A lot of things I've brought up in this analysis are kind of up to interpretation due to how little we get about Midori's past in the game...
I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO BECOME NEARLY AN ESSAY, BUT IT ENDED UP KINDA HAVING THE FORMAT AND COMPONENTS OF AN ESSAY, MY BAD. (Although...with none of the organization of one. This is kind of a mess.) I just had a lot of thoughts on the subject. I also reread through some of the stuff from Kai's laptop for this, and the "personal thanks" part especially made me so sad... For the first time, he had a reason to live... He was able to experience what it's like to care and be cared for after a lifetime without it, and it changed him... Kai is a really lovely and endearing and tragic character to me. And I love how we can get deeper insight into one character through comparing them to another.
