No turning back now.

TMA RP blog for my beloved OC Ren | Avatar of the Dark, marked by the Web and the Eye

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

The altar has fallen.

The beast is contained.

The Host is - for now - home.

[so-many-ocs]

no dude it's so cool how attached you are to that character who is singled out and ostracized due to the external monstrousness that clashes with their internal spark of humanity. and i love how drawn you are to themes of horror and love, nature versus nurture, otherness, isolation, and the abject. i bet you have normal feelings about your own personhood

[edettethegreat]

rip magnus archives crew but I'm built different. if my boss was literally all-knowing and couldn't fire me, I'd be in his office all day asking him questions about everything. I wouldn't use google anymore. I'd be like "what's the rarest kind of tree frog" and he'd be like "shut up please shut up" but he'd tell me the answer every time.

and then I'd go home and immediately call him and be like "hey elias I forgot what time I put the burekas in the oven, how much longer should I leave them in"

and he'd be like "I hate you so much. you put them in 12:42. they should come out at 1:12"

[nonstickwaffleiron]

as an archivist I am begging you

put dates on everything

don’t believe digital stuff is preserved forever - if it’s really important (documents, photos, etc) print it out

name your files accurately I know it sucks but please

don’t destroy the original just bc you scanned it

rubber cement is the devil’s adhesive use photo corners and quit gluing shit

you will NOT remember write it down

if you staple things to the inside of a folder I will find you

your public library probably has equipment to digitize old media for free or can at least get you connected with somewhere that does!

[obfuscus]

If you see more worms than usual on your way to work, start stocking up on fire extinguishers.

Always check your collegues against old photos you have of them - better safe than sorry.

If you physically cannot quit your job, i am sorry (at least you get to kill your boss though).

[herssian]

deepen the shadows bro. it'll be ok

[herssian]

i meant art-wise but if any dark sorcerers see this. you do you

[entities-of-posts]

The Dark

[theinconvenientlifestyle]

[oustoust]

[edettethegreat]

rip magnus archives crew but I'm built different. if my boss was literally all-knowing and couldn't fire me, I'd be in his office all day asking him questions about everything. I wouldn't use google anymore. I'd be like "what's the rarest kind of tree frog" and he'd be like "shut up please shut up" but he'd tell me the answer every time.

and then I'd go home and immediately call him and be like "hey elias I forgot what time I put the burekas in the oven, how much longer should I leave them in"

and he'd be like "I hate you so much. you put them in 12:42. they should come out at 1:12"

[elias-magnusnt]

How kiss Jon????

My assistants are telling me it involves mouths in some way.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

sounds fake

[little-watcher]

ellery. what do you Know about ny alesund?

@ren-cormander-archival-intern

peoples church. total solar eclipse. black sun.

wh y?

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

Just some loose ends I need to tie up.

Thank you. For- most things.

[little-watcher]

re n, are you… fu ck.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

don't. it's- what I deserve.

[little-watcher]

its n ot. it s rea lly not. but i… i ca n’t stop yo u, can i?

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

Elias said I might not die, so there's that. But no.

[elias-magnusnt]

hm. I suppose it's worth a shot.

What's in Ny Alesund?

@ren-cormander-archival-intern

A bunch of very annoying people.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

well yes. aside from that.

[elias-magnusnt]

Well... Simultaneously the sun and an absence of sun. Why do you want to know, anyway? Even with your new... affiliation... I think you'd have a very unpleasant time over there.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

Hm. ...will it kill me?

[elias-magnusnt]

I... can't know that.

You're going to try to take over it and end it all, aren't you?

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

end the world? no. the church isn't strong enough to do that either. I just want them dead.

[elias-magnusnt]

I meant end the Church. That's the exact kind of stupidly heroic thing you'd do.

Look, it's possible that you won't die, and you'll steal the darkness for yourself. Or maybe what's in there is stronger, and it will kill you. Maybe you'll destroy it and yourself at the same time. I don't know how this will end, but that's not a course of action I'd recommend to anyone interested in keeping on being alive.

But I don't think that's going to convince you to give up either, and I can't stop you forever, so... Good luck.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

...it'll be worth it either way. one less evil in the world, right?

...

...thank you. I still think you're a terrible boss, of course, but you do... amuse me. Occasionally.

[little-watcher]

ellery. what do you Know about ny alesund?

@ren-cormander-archival-intern

peoples church. total solar eclipse. black sun.

wh y?

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

Just some loose ends I need to tie up.

Thank you. For- most things.

[little-watcher]

re n, are you… fu ck.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

don't. it's- what I deserve.

[elias-magnusnt]

hm. I suppose it's worth a shot.

What's in Ny Alesund?

@ren-cormander-archival-intern

A bunch of very annoying people.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

well yes. aside from that.

[elias-magnusnt]

Well... Simultaneously the sun and an absence of sun. Why do you want to know, anyway? Even with your new... affiliation... I think you'd have a very unpleasant time over there.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

Hm. ...will it kill me?

[elias-magnusnt]

I... can't know that.

You're going to try to take over it and end it all, aren't you?

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

end the world? no. the church isn't strong enough to do that either. I just want them dead.

[justeclotilde]

What two arcs of not seeing the sun will do to a guy

I'm actually pretty excited for Marius's toxic era, he deserves to make mistakes he will never recover from

i do miss that armour though...

[elias-magnusnt]

hm. I suppose it's worth a shot.

What's in Ny Alesund?

@ren-cormander-archival-intern

A bunch of very annoying people.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

well yes. aside from that.

[elias-magnusnt]

Well... Simultaneously the sun and an absence of sun. Why do you want to know, anyway? Even with your new... affiliation... I think you'd have a very unpleasant time over there.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

Hm. ...will it kill me?

[little-watcher]

ellery. what do you Know about ny alesund?

@ren-cormander-archival-intern

peoples church. total solar eclipse. black sun.

wh y?

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

Just some loose ends I need to tie up.

Thank you. For- most things.

[casandaxel]

It's late- not quite nighttime, but the difference doesn't matter, not when none of the lights in their apartment are ever on. It's late, and Cas is drunk, and so he forgets, for a moment, the consequences, as he stumbles inside and flicks on the lights.

@ren-cormander-archival-intern

Cas realized his mistake after a moment, quickly turning the light back off as soon as his drunken unwieldy fingers would work. Then, he called out. “Ren? Did I- are you okay?”

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

It's too late- the lightbulbs shatter, broken glass raining down around him. There's silence for a moment before it crunches underfoot- Ren seeming to coalesce entirely out of the shadows as they approach, dark ink dripping down their face like a nosebleed. When they speak, it's almost panicked, ricocheting about the room like a million different voices as they grab his arm. "What did he do to you?"

[casandaxel]

Cas unthinkingly pulled away from Ren, alarmed by suddenly being grabbed without seeing they were there. Hearing their voice, Cas relaxed a bit. “Nothing, it’s… fine. I’m fine, Ren.” Considering Ren’s whole thing was about hiding, it was clear as day- or, night- that Cas was lying.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

The shadows lashing at the corner of the room seem to turn almost angry. "What did he do," they repeat. Cas hasn't been home in a few days, and they've been growing more and more worried- there's a cold takeout container on the counter, a grey mockery of the days when they used to cook for him. Neither of them need food, anymore, not really. The reminder feels lifeless.

[casandaxel]

“It doesn’t matter, Ren, it doesn’t fucking matter,” Cas muttered, the accent he tried to hide slipping out, running a hand down his face. He saw how almost nothing in the apartment had moved since he’d left, and he just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. This was the only place he’d ever felt safe before, and the life had been sucked out of it. And he knows that it’s not coming back. It can’t. “I’m tired.”

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

They see the frustration cross his face, mirrored in their own. The Cas they loved would never swear at them. The person they'd been would never have driven him to.

"Of course it matters." They can't let it go- can't let him go. Not like this. "If he hurt you--"

[casandaxel]

Cas looked away from Ren, wiping away tears. How stupid he’d been, to think something this wonderful would last. How naive he was to think they’d live happily, knowing what happened to avatars. “He hurt me, but I’m okay. It won’t even scar.” Cas didn’t want to say how, or why, or what had happened. He should stop sleeping with Axel, but he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t, because at least with Axel he could see the sun sometimes, or talk to people, or leave the house, or pretend like they need to eat.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

He shouldn't be sleeping with Axel, but he needs the compulsions. The loss of control. For all that Ren is inhuman, at least they're not a liar.

"You should stop seeing him." It's a worn and tired argument, one they know is futile. "He's not safe for you, Cas."

Neither are they.

[casandaxel]

“I’m gonna die one way or another,” he replied, as if it was a sick joke. “We’re avatars now. It’s what we do.” Cas didn’t look at Ren. It’s not like he could see them, even if he tried. Maybe an outline of them, maybe a shadow in their shape, but not them. “I’m just… I’m tired.”

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

"I don't want you to die." And that, more than anything, is what drives it home- this isn't the Ren he had met, so many years ago. They look like Ren, standing there shaking, and for all intents and purposes they are- except. Except. Except that he hasn't heard them stutter in months.

This isn't their Cas, though, either. They love him- will always love him, but he's changed. They've both changed. Avatars, he'd said, but Ren knows what he'd really meant is monsters.

[casandaxel]

It's late- not quite nighttime, but the difference doesn't matter, not when none of the lights in their apartment are ever on. It's late, and Cas is drunk, and so he forgets, for a moment, the consequences, as he stumbles inside and flicks on the lights.

@ren-cormander-archival-intern

Cas realized his mistake after a moment, quickly turning the light back off as soon as his drunken unwieldy fingers would work. Then, he called out. “Ren? Did I- are you okay?”

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

It's too late- the lightbulbs shatter, broken glass raining down around him. There's silence for a moment before it crunches underfoot- Ren seeming to coalesce entirely out of the shadows as they approach, dark ink dripping down their face like a nosebleed. When they speak, it's almost panicked, ricocheting about the room like a million different voices as they grab his arm. "What did he do to you?"

[casandaxel]

Cas unthinkingly pulled away from Ren, alarmed by suddenly being grabbed without seeing they were there. Hearing their voice, Cas relaxed a bit. “Nothing, it’s… fine. I’m fine, Ren.” Considering Ren’s whole thing was about hiding, it was clear as day- or, night- that Cas was lying.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

The shadows lashing at the corner of the room seem to turn almost angry. "What did he do," they repeat. Cas hasn't been home in a few days, and they've been growing more and more worried- there's a cold takeout container on the counter, a grey mockery of the days when they used to cook for him. Neither of them need food, anymore, not really. The reminder feels lifeless.

[casandaxel]

“It doesn’t matter, Ren, it doesn’t fucking matter,” Cas muttered, the accent he tried to hide slipping out, running a hand down his face. He saw how almost nothing in the apartment had moved since he’d left, and he just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. This was the only place he’d ever felt safe before, and the life had been sucked out of it. And he knows that it’s not coming back. It can’t. “I’m tired.”

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

They see the frustration cross his face, mirrored in their own. The Cas they loved would never swear at them. The person they'd been would never have driven him to.

"Of course it matters." They can't let it go- can't let him go. Not like this. "If he hurt you--"

[casandaxel]

Cas looked away from Ren, wiping away tears. How stupid he’d been, to think something this wonderful would last. How naive he was to think they’d live happily, knowing what happened to avatars. “He hurt me, but I’m okay. It won’t even scar.” Cas didn’t want to say how, or why, or what had happened. He should stop sleeping with Axel, but he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t, because at least with Axel he could see the sun sometimes, or talk to people, or leave the house, or pretend like they need to eat.

[ren-cormander-archival-intern]

He shouldn't be sleeping with Axel, but he needs the compulsions. The loss of control. For all that Ren is inhuman, at least they're not a liar.

"You should stop seeing him." It's a worn and tired argument, one they know is futile. "He's not safe for you, Cas."

Neither are they.