Lost Wanderlust

[rendezvousheart]

Love : Cauldron of Madness and Obsession

When I was young,the concept of romantic love was hallmark induced and diabetic infused with early 2000s popular romcom movies with a guaranteed happy ending . As I grew up , the definition became more catered to high school affection mixed with droplets of overbearing protection and stereotypical teenage hormones.

But then I was exposed to a slightly more diverse definition of love. The famous Joker and Harley Quinn legend. This love was not only toxic for hallmark like love fanatics, it was more black than pink ,kind of like Tim Burton movies: a little insane and intriguing.This was a genre of its own: dark and mysterious. The kind of love where both are ready to destroy the world for the sake of one another.

I did realize one thing from all my observations also known as my intense reading:love has different definitions for each person including personalised endings.And it is certainly not only pink but also black like the abyss.

[rendezvousheart]

Vaccum

Sometimes I fear writing .Because I have seen the power of writing closely lately and it’s somewhat terrifying. When I pour my feelings on a piece of paper it’s as if it is a vacuum trying to suction everything I feel at that moment. After I’m done writing,I feel nothing, afterwards like my body feels hollow. Then I begin to question my sensitivity but I just poured my feelings on a blank page so what does it say about me ?

[rendezvousheart]

Saturday thoughts

My mind is all over the place . My home is upside down . I made a mess there and mess cost me my home . My tears are in tandem with my heart ,telling me about my flaws and faults . They tell me I deserve this . I’m trying to fix my home and I’ll until my home blossoms with love and care .

[rendezvousheart]

It is dark outside and my thoughts are slowly disintegrating like the particles in the air with no destination. As I lay down in bed , the thought of waking up the next day for work doesn’t seem to excite me anymore. Instead my heart desires to be invisible and to walk amongst nature with a book in hand . With more people fighting over power and status in this world the only thing I wish to fight for is peace and harmony.

[rendezvousheart]

You and I were never meant to be . Somehow along the dark and eerie roads of this world we found our way to each other and since then it has been you and me ; me and you . You call us the glitch and I call us imperfectly perfect . You drank my vices like a mazer of poison while I kept your dark side safe with me . Like Gomez and Morticia we may be a little different but we are for each other.

[rendezvousheart]

Lately I have been thinking about you a lot . I always think about you ,consumed by your thoughts and drowning in your love . As the days are passing my feelings for you are growing like the speed of lightning and never ending like the ripples of the ocean . I already crossed the line between passion and obsession for you .

[rendezvousheart]

They say desire is mightier than reality . But I wonder is reality truly enough to over shadow desire or is desire the only source of survival in this world ?

[rendezvousheart]

I have been plagued by guilt since last night. The voices in my head tell me I deserve it and that I’m not good enough. They haven’t left my side since then , they are wrapped around me like a warm blanket only I feel cold and insecure .

[rendezvousheart]

I wished for one night with you on this day but to my unknown I kissed that goodbye . I waited all night for you only to have that special night with you . I’m repenting since then , I still wish for that one night with you maybe it has passed and I lost my one special night .

[rendezvousheart]

I love swimming in the ocean of fiction because it is easier to swim rather than drown in the ugly waves of reality .

[rendezvousheart]

The musky smell of your signature perfume that you always wear , the minty breath when you talk and your strong arms wrapped around my waist reminding me that I’m home and safe .

[rendezvousheart]

She reads , he writes together they are like fire and ice

[rendezvousheart]

I wanted to write something but I don’t know what . There is something I want to say but I can’t somehow the words are failing me . Deep down I know exactly what I have to say it’s just that I don’t have the right words for it

[rendezvousheart]

I love being a romantic not only because I love romanticising the little things in life but because it gives me hope amidst the chaos in this cruel , harsh world

[rendezvousheart]

In order to achieve one’s dream one must make certain sacrifices . If you have the right type of people beside you during the journey everything is worth it at the end .

[rendezvousheart]

I want to say something but I don’t know what ? I want to feel something but I don’t know what ? I want to hear something but I don’t know what ? . What is it that I truly want ?

[rendezvousheart]

I can never move on from you . I’m tied to you and you are tied to me . Maybe this is our fate ; me and you , together for eternity.