the devil was once an angel

Hi, I'm Renee.

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Research and Writing 5

YAY!!! I'm completely finished with my BIG PAPER!!!! Technically, I was all done at the end of AC on Thursday of last week, but I just put everything together yesterday. I even pasted a collage of puppies on the front of my binder just in case Kreinbring needs them. Anyway, the general introduction was the last thing I did before throwing everything in my binder. I have to say, the general introduction was pretty tough, but it was because I'm stupid and didn't understand what to write. I had written two whole pages of fluff and had no more writing left in me by the time people were boasting about having 5 pages. Then, when Kreinbring explained what he was expecting in the general introduction I finally got it. I was unsure of writing about my feelings on the novel at first, but then Kreinbring said that's what he was looking for so I went for it. This time, it was way easier to write. I barely had to think of what to write, it just came out and sounded pretty good. After I wrote about 4 pages, I saved everything and let out a silent scream of joy. I have to say, it really feels good to get this thing done! Maybe it's not A+ material, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to graduate. 

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Research and Writing 4

Let's skip the general introduction for now and get one of the easier things: background sources. So, I've got one solid background source: the poem that inspired Kesey to name his novel "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest", which is "Intery, Mintery, Cutery Corn" by Traditional. I've written a pretty solid explanation for the poem to let the audience know why I included the poem. I also have an interview with Ken Kesey where he says where he got some of his inspiration for the novel from. In the interview, Kesey said he was a part of some sort of drug experiment. I read further into the experiment and it was apparently for LSD. I also found an article that described all the adventures Kesey went on after his drug experiment and how his novel started up a "hippie movement". Kesey and his friends rode around in a decked out school bus so I thought I would include a picture of the "hippie" school bus and have a short explanation of Kesey's use of LSD and how it impacted the novel. At first I thought that the background sources would be really simple, but there's only so much you can type into Google. I had to basically work from one background source and dig deeper to find more. I think this was my favorite part of the entire project because it's really interesting to see how an author got their inspiration and how they take their own expediences and turn them into something everyone can connect to. 

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Research and Writing 3

I got all my abstracts checked off, so next was the introduction to annotations. I had some trouble with this one, I've got to admit. At first I thought I was just summarizing everything I wrote in my annotations, but then I realized I had to go deeper and connect the book's themes to my criticisms as well. It took me a couple days to finally get on the right track to writing a solid introduction to my annotations, and I'm still not so sure if it's good enough. I think even if it's not perfect I can easily get there so I'm not too worried. I think I'm mostly worried about the general introduction because I really have no idea what to write. I'm afraid I'm just going to keep repeating what I've said in annotations and my intro to annotations and not anything new. It's a big percentage of the paper and it also counts for another grade as well so I really need to buckle down and figure out what to write. 

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Research and Writing 2

With the abstracts done and checked off by Mr. Kreinbring, I had the annotations next. They couldn't be that difficult, right? Finding the actual passages in the novel to annotate was the easy part. My criticisms each have multiple quotes and text references, so I just chose one from each one and made sure there was one from the beginning, middle, and end.Because the passages I chose were from my criticisms, it was really easy to connect them to my criticism abstracts. The challenging part was actually writing my abstracts. It was hard for me to connect every single one of my thoughts to the text and a lot of times I found myself just summarizing the events or making assumptions without evidence. I ended up rewriting my first two annotations and cutting out a lot of the summaries and adding more text. I think my third annotation is the best out of all of them, but we'll have to see how well I did on it when I get it back from Kreinbring. 

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Research and Writing 1

Finding the criticisms was not a very hard task in itself, but actually having them was the hard part. OU's library is complicated and dumb so I decided I would simply email myself a whole bunch of criticisms on my novel that I found in said library. I have to say, it definitely worked out for me. I picked around 6-7 different criticisms with several different opinions and directions and then I narrowed them down to four. Then, I actually changed my mind on the ones I chose and decided to pick a few different criticisms and narrow my sources to three. I think the abstracts were really easy to write just because I didn't have to think about it. The abstracts are basically just summaries of the criticism and it helped me better understand my criticisms because I had to narrow down all the information from 20 something pages and compress it into the most important parts. I definitely have a favorite criticism and a least favorite, but I know I picked the best ones out of all of the ones I saw.

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Reading the Work #5 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

The Big Nurse, the poor old nurse, is still trying to regain her power. She tries to turn the patients on McMurphy by showing them how much money he's scammed from them. However, Harding says realize that they shouldn't care because he's helped them so much by influencing them to be themselves and not fall under the Nurse. But the incident of the bet of lifting the control panel is brought up, and they second guess. Bromden even questions his motives. At this point I was a little worried because I thought it was going to be over for McMurphy and his leadership. But then, McMurphy proves himself by taking a risk and defending another patient, and everyone realizes they were wrong to question him. Phew! That was a close one. 

Just as I predicted, the subject of shock therapy is brought up again as a form of punishment for McMurphy and Bromden. Although I thought that McMurphy would probably under go it, I didn't think for a second Bromden would. The Chief successfully goes through the treatment without getting lost, but McMurphy continues with the therapy over and over because he will not stand down to the Nurse, or rather the Combine. This proves just how devoted McMurphy is to not only stand up for what he believes in but also stand up for all the patients in the ward. Because of McMurphy, Bromden is now bigger than ever and he's no longer under control of the Combine. However, McMurphy is becoming weaker and weaker from the shock treatments, but they finally stop. Billy Bibbit kills himself because of the threats of the Nurse, and McMurphy attacks her. I think by sacrificing so much, McMurphy has really become a sort of Christ figure for all the patients. He goes under brain surgey, and no body recognizes him. Of course they know it's him on the outside, but there is no one in the inside. So, in order to make McMurphy's image last forever in everyone's thoughs, he kills himself by suffocating him with a pillow. Then, in the middle of the night, he goes to the control panel, lifts it because of how strong he is now, and breaks the window to escape. 

The novel ends like that, and it makes me so mad! I want to know what Bromden will do now that he is free, I want to know what the other patients will do, and I want to know what the Combine will do.

I'm going to go watch the movie now!

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Reading the work #4 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

McMurphy is still on his crazy rebellious rampage, and he continues it by requesting to go on a fishing trip with his "aunts". His "aunts" are really prostitutes. By doing this, I think he is really trying to declare his sexuality to The Big Nurse and also prove she hasn't affected him at all. Later that night, McMurphy gets Bromden to finally talk. He even gets kind of carried away and starts talking crazy. He says McMurphy is a lot bigger than him, and at first I didn't know what he was talking about because the Chief is huge. However, I realized he meant metaphorically and that he can stand up for himself. But I also believe that Bromden is getting bigger with the help of McMurphy. I think their talk creates a stronger bond between him and McMurphy now, and he invites him to the fishing trip. 

When one of the prostitutes doesn't show up. McMurphy convinces Doctor Spivey to come with them. Now, it's like everyone in the ward is against the Nurse. The fact that even the doctor went with them just makes her look insignificant and small. Because of McMurphy, the patients in the ward have their own thoughts and individuality, so the Nurse can't get through to them. At the fishing trip, Bromden talks to all the people and he has become big and strong, with the help of his friend McMurphy. McMurphy helps everyone become confident by showing off their mental illnesses and using it to intimidate people and be strong. This created a significant character shift in everyone as they became bigger. On the boat, they all start laughing. Real laughter. This is the most memorable part in the novel for me, and it's also my favorite because I finally got to see the mental patients as real people. 

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Reading the Work #3 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

In a meeting, Bromden raised his hand for a vote for McMurphy. This obviously means he isn't deaf, and now I think everyone is questioning him. However, I think this is a good thing and it gives him a chance to finally come out of his lie and be who he really is. McMurphy is one of the few patients in the ward that are committed, which means he leaves on the hospital's terms, or rather the Nurse's. He learns this and suddenly stops trying to defy her and gives her her power back. 

Under McMurphy's influence, Chief has started to become an individual. He's started to think for himself and really start to see things more clearly. This connects to Lord Henry influencing Dorian Gray in The Picture of Dorian Gray, except McMurphy's influence is good and benefits Bromden. Even with McMurphy not creating a disturbance against the Nurse, the patients in the ward still follow him and speak out for themselves. Then, when one of the patients that followed McMurphy basically kills himself, McMurphy realizes he shouldn't have stopped rebelling. I think he realizes that he can't be selfish in a situation like the one he is in and he didn't want to be a part of the Combine. After seeing this, he goes back to rebelling. I was sure he would go back, but even if he didn't, he still made a significant difference in a lot of the patients in the ward. Now, his actions are more extreme, like breaking windows and becoming the leader.

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Reading the Work #2 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

The Big Nurse apparently controls time and can make certain activities go really fast or really slow. I don't believe Chief when he says this, and I also don't believe him when he talks about the fog that he sometimes gets lost in. I want to know what exactly is wrong with Bromden, like what disease he has or something. I have a feeling I'll never find out though. At night, McMurphy tells him he knows he's faking his being deaf and dumb, but he doesn't say anything. I think he was scared because he had an escape but he didn't know what the future would hold. I believe that he will break out from the lie that has defined him later on in the novel. He has a nightmare that night and one of the patients was killed. This freaked me out a little, like Chief had some sort of psychic abilities, or something. He seems really smart to me because of the way he observes the people in the hospital and how he describes events. When he describes the way the patient was killed, he said rust and ash came out of him, not blood. This goes back to how he believes that the hospital is full of machinery. 

McMurphy is still drawing a lot of attention to himself by singing, brushing his teeth with soap, staying in his towel, and asking to turn down the music. Bromden says that since McMurphy is here, there hasn't been much fog. He describes the fog as really thick sometimes, and he thinks that not only does he get lost in it, but so do the other patients. The metaphor of the fog is that it clouds everyone's thoughts and their true selves. However, when Bromden says that there isn't any fog when McMurphy is around, I think that he is the reason that the patients will start thinking for themselves and actually have character. McMurphy starts to rebell against the "Combine", as Bromden calls it, and brings other Acutes with him. Billy Bibbit, a young acute in his 30's, is a shameful virgin that The Big Nurse has not helped at all. Instead of helping him with the problem that made him admit to the hospital, she makes it worse. I think this just proves how much power the Nurse has on the patients and how they will basically do anything she says. However, I think we will definitely see her power become diminished soon enough.

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Reading the Work #1 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

The first thing I noticed while reading this novel were the pictures! ooo pretty pictures to look at! The pictures, more like drawings, are of warped characters in the novel that are placed on pages where the narrator is describing them. I like these pictures and always found myself looking forward to see a new one. The narrator is "Chief Broom", or Bromden. The fact that he is half Indian and half white reminds me of Ceremony because Tayo was also a mutt. He pretends to be deaf and dumb, which I thought was kind of smart, but also difficult since that meant he couldn't speak his thoughts at all. I feel like he's almost invisible sometimes, especially when he is cleaning, and sometimes I even forget he's an actual character in the novel and not just a random narrator telling a story. When he introduces the "Big Nurse" I immediately picture a bulky, mean looking nurse with big muscles. This is the first glimpse that we get of why Chief is in the mental ward. He seems to hallucinate an image of fog and machines and starts to freak out and the next passage is of when he wakes up. After this incident, I kind of question how Chief explains things and doubt half the things he "sees" since he's in the mental ward for a reason.

The next day, a new patient, Randal McMurphy is admitted into the hospital. I knew right away that he was an important character by the way Chief described him. He laughs, and Chief says he barely recognizes the sounds because he hasn't heard a real laugh in years. I thought this was really sad and also helped set the setting of the mental ward more clear. I think this could also be foreshadowing, like maybe Chief will hear real laughter from someone else later on in the novel. McMurphy kind of confuses me because he doesn't seem like a mental patient. I mean how insane can you really be from gambling and having sex? There are Acutes - the not so bad crazy people, and there are the Chronics - the hardcore crazies. Apparently, there are two Chronics that used to be Acutes, but then underwent shock treatment or brain surgery. I thought hospitals were meant to help cure people, not hurt them? This scares me because it might happen to McMurphy because of the way he's already been acting up. 

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One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I chose the novel One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey because my dear friend who is so very close to my heart recommended that I read it. She gave me small synopsis of the plot and it intrigued me enough for me to choose it for this huge project/essay. It's about a mental ward and its patients and the people in charge. Since for some reason creepy and scary topics like that interest me, I immediately knew I would like this novel. Another thing that helped me choose this novel was because it was on some list I came across from Google when I typed in "books of literary merit", so of course I knew I was in the clear to begin reading this novel. 

[saturatedspace]

Poems hide—even in chicken nuggets. This poem was written under the influence of Pablo Neruda.

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I wrote this!

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Remixed Me

I'm a remix of my parents' genes...haha. Well, how did I get to be the great and wonderful Renee that I am today, you ask? I'm pretty close to my mom, she's where I get my crazy personality and creativeness, which she gets from her mother, and so on. I'm probably just like a lot of girls in high school, and that doesn't really bother me since none of y'all are original anyway. I'm a remix of the typical smart(ish) teenager that's into art and music. Once I get older, I'll probably be even more remixed with the influences from the different experiences I will encounter and the people I'll meet. But don't get me wrong, being a remix is a good thing. Everyone is a remix of other people and ideas, it's just how they interpret it and build it around the person they form into. 

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beat boxing is pretty OG.

I mean, who thought of actually making a beat with your mouth?

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Movie Night:)

People:

Macy M, Ben R, Andrew L, Laura L, Renee M, Karrigan L, Madeline H, Arnold H, Garret R, Michael M, Kayla W, Madi D, Anna H, Max S, Justin D

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Shelley & Staples

“I beheld the wretch-the miserable monster I had created”

-Mary Shelley

Mary Shelley's quote and Brent Staples's essay have something in common: the fact that appearance does matter. As much as your mother might say that the only thing that matters is what's inside, the outside counts as well. Frankenstein monster was well, a monster. Once someone sees a monster like Frankenstein's, there's a slim chance they will think anything positive about him. Staples feels the same way being a black man in this society. Because of the assumptions of what a black man is capable of, the young woman who was confided into a vacant street with Staples fled from him out of fear. In a way. Staples is looked at to be a monster just like Frankenstein's monster because of their appearance. 

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The Brilliant Scheme in Elementary School

In elementary school i was kind of crazy. Although I knew my multiplication tables and I could read out loud, I didn't have the best behavior. The days learning about the solar system were always spent with me blabbing my big mouth. This obviously got me in trouble with multiple scoldings in front of the whole class and many negative notes sent home. But as hard as I tried, I couldn't stop my habit of talking everyone's ear off. 

After it seemed that I was getting never-ending notes sent to my parents, I decided to take matters into my own little conniving hands.With my newest report of my behavior, I thought up a brilliant plan to try and replicate my mother's scribble as proof that she has seen it. When I presented the signed note to my teacher, I felt like the great Houdini himself. There was not a single flaw I could think of in my plan: my mom thought I was doing well in school and my teacher believed that my mother had acknowledged my problems. 

Unfortunately, there might have been a small hole in my strategy. Maybe i didn't quite swirl the last letter in her name correctly or something, but my teacher found my mother's signature a bit off. It had to do with something insignificant like spelling her own name wrong, I don't know. Anyway, my mother was informed of my malicious tactics and gave me her spiel of how to become responsible for my actions. Needless to say, after that incident, I never got a note sent home again. Or maybe I just got better at forging my mom's signature. 

(look at that crazy look in my eyes, I had evil thoughts in my head even at such a young age!)