The creation of 'The Psychology of eight' , an important essay. Feel free to read if you have time to spare.
Back in early 2022, I came up with the idea to create something that I’d stick to for a long while. At the time, I was struggling with my mental health and needed something to use as an escape before it got worse. Desperate to prevent myself from causing serious harm to myself, I sat in my bed thinking for hours on end. Ideas poured into my head but none of them intrigued me enough to know it’d be what I’d cling on. I got tired of waiting for my brain to give me answers unfortunately. So I just sighed with disappointment and listened to music on my phone. That’s when it happened. For reference, I maladaptively daydream. And when does it trigger most? You guessed it: Listening to music.
Kurutto Mawatte Ikkaiten. That was the song I think. The more I listened in, the more my brain began crafting up a character dancing along to the melody like they’re in some sort of music video. Blue hair, Purple outfit.That’s what came first. Then the yellow eyes, the iconic captain hat that matches the colour of the outfit, and a legendary black cape. When the song was over, I sat there in silence for a moment. “This is it” I thought. “A sign” I also thought. I felt the urge to do something. I couldn’t just throw this away, even though it was just a character made based around one song. I wanted to take any opportunity possible to find permanent comfort.
I didn’t do much about this at first, I was still processing it all. But… on January 3rd 2022.. That’s when it officially started. The creation of The Psychology of Eight. The blue haired character became a person known as the one, the only Aggro Vertreuse. At first I’d decided Aggro would just be a Gacha persona I’d have for a while, but after months of hyperfixating and my confidence subtly being boosted each day, I thought. “This needs to be something more.Something bigger.” Yes, I wanted to make a fictional series, having Aggro Vertreuse be the main character. I did some experimenting, crafting up gacha tweening tests, small story writings,etc.
Between 2022-late 2023 was when I came up with the other characters. I recall it being in this order: Vivienne,Berry,Globo,Pofoyo,Roxy (Originally named Xixie before I changed it), Xeno, then last but not least Orion. Orion was originally named Ren, but I had to change it to prevent confusion. You see, I have the same name lol. But yeah. As I came up with the rest of the main character, it fueled my motivation and dedication towards creating a fictional series even more. I knew this was the best thing to in my life. A reason to keep living. Sharing my imagination and creativity.
Though I do have difficulties and struggles with creating art for various reasons, I’m still trying my hardest to put in as much effort as possible. I’m aware that a lot of my art may be low quality,lacking expression,etc. But that’s the best I can do for now until I improve. It takes time, y’know? The more I grow as the days & years pass by, the more I will be capable of showing the world the creativity I want to express. You have no idea how much I have bottled up inside of me, ready to share and bring happiness, intrigue, and excitement to people. But you will know one day, I hope.
Back to late 2023 now, ahem. After finishing the pilot of TPO8 on AO3 I felt that it was the perfect time to start the development of a book series. The first volume. As often as I could, I wrote ideas then some chapters shortly after. Each being 6000+ words big. Unfortunately, between late january and this month, I completely lost motivation on creating the book. I still want to give my fictional story its own series though, don’t worry. I just can’t do it as a book series. My initial idea was to use the book series as a way to promote TPO8. But coming up to the time I promised to release this, I realized its not possible. The fanbase for my series is nowhere near big enough to make the book series happen. There would be purchases, but not many. I know there’s still a chance. Someone (likely a friend) could pick up the book and share it to others, meaning there’s a chance I could still go through with doing the book series. But there’s other factors preventing me from doing so; I’m too young for a bank account+depositing/withdrawing from said account,gaps in professional skills. To be honest of you, this was hard for me to write considering that I put so much effort into the 3 chapters I’d written, and being quite confident (overconfident) on releasing the first volume and making promises to others as such. Though, one thing I’ve learnt is that everyone makes mistakes. I assume its some sort of canon event to write something for a year, only to scrap it at the last second. I believe I will learn more from this experience, and work out when and how I’ll get this story out there. Maybe on the big screen, or little screens. Who knows? The future is yet to come.
Don’t panic. I will find another way somehow. “But what about the chapters of the book you’ve already written?Is it going to get deleted?wasted away?” Nope. I will share the google docs containing the scripts at some point, or something similar. I would never delete my hard work,no matter what. After all, archival is better than deletion. Especially when it comes to fictional media. For the last part of this video/post, I will explain the plot of ‘The Psychology of Eight’ for those who don’t know:
The Psychology of eight tells the tale of eight significant characters. Aggro Vertreuse, a non binary ambivert who adores spending his time interacting+connecting with others,figuring out how to fix his mental health issues, shapeshifting, and causing chaos. Vivienne Boudica, a POC Trans woman who has a passion for literature,taking care of flowers,occasionally joining in with Aggro’s antics, and relaxing at coffee shops. Orion Williams, a genderless person driven by anxiety and uncertainty. He has a hard time trusting things+people, and keeping calm. Usually walks at a slow pace, and has a look of exhaustion on his face. Globo Sweetlocke, possibly the happiest person alive who spends their time spreading kindness, helping others, expressing her joy, and making balloon art.
Pofoyo Utsagi, the second youngest member of the main cast who spends his time making the most of his childhood due to something that occurred in his past, afraid of it happening again. Xeno spiderwell, a genderfluid spiderperson with a heavily complicated backstory and puzzling mindset. Roxy, someone who seems like your average robot, but somethings off. Is there a real person hidden inside its “computery” mind?How did they get there? Last of all, we have Berry Mercia.The youngest of the cast. How unfortunate that she died so young.
“Death?!Then how is she existing?!” This is where the main plot comes in. The thing is, all eight of the main characters are hypothetically dead, but…not..quite??? You see, they are a species of demon called a purgatory demon. A purgatory demon is a type of demon that used to be a human in a past life, but died due to health related complications/incidents, and had their spirit transported to a special galaxy that grants them magical powers that are the equivalent of the abilities a character would get in a dreamscape world. Not only that, but they are also granted immortality. Meaning they spend an eternity in purgatory. The group sees this whole concept of living forever and views it as a blessing for a while at first, but later realize it is also partially a curse in disguise. Some of them go mad with distress, some of them go into a phase of confusion and uncertainty.
Anywho, that was the basic synopsis of The Psychology of Eight. I cannot explain it any further as I do not want to give spoilers for the series.
I thank those who’ve taken their time to read through this post/video, I really do appreciate it. I created this message to help people understand my goal regarding TPO8, why it exists, and why I have such high levels of passion for it despite the inconsistency in posts about it. Though my content hardly gets noticed these days, I still hold the confidence that I will finally be noticed by a large audience of lovely people. I know I get low view counts that tend to range between 5-50 views , but nowadays I’m starting to care less about this. Because I know. I know that one day someone will take notice of my dedication of my creativity, and let their friends or whomever they care for about it. Thank you; For your time and patience.
