Replay's Backlog Blog

I want to turn the media I engage with (mostly video games) into a creative outlet for myself, that way it doesn't feel like just consumption. It may be a short review, a personal experience, or a creative writing prompt.

[replayremake]

I played (mostly) only NES games for a month.

I decided to dedicate June primarily to playing NES games. Both game clubs I'm part of selected NES games as their pick for the month, and we all joked it was "NES Month". So, I decided to roll with it. I wanted to do one of these "console month" challenges for a minute now, and this seemed like as good an excuse as any to do so.

For a long time, I was an NES hater. I believed the majority of the library was dated garbage that wasn't worth playing nowadays, and the few games that are worth playing were the exception to the rule. The diamonds in the rough.

But recently I've noticed myself enjoying more and more NES games as I've tried them. I wanted to see if dedicating my time to playing mostly NES games would change my perspective, or confirm my biases.

Megaman 2+3

Lumping these two together since they're very similar games. I actually never played a Megaman game before this. No particular reason, just never got around to them, so I was excited to give it a shot.

These are some of the most fun platformers I've played. The controls are tight and responsive, a must for any platfomer. The levels are short and sweet, but packed with challenge that makes completing them very rewarding. I also think that short level length works very well with the "choose your boss" selection screen the series is known for.

I played this game blind, so I didnt know any of the robot masters weaknesses beforehand. Fairly often I'd grow frustrated fighting a boss, do a different level and boss, and return with a new toy to take the first one on with.

This loop is very fun the way I experienced it, used save states as checkpoints throughout the level. However, playing as intended on original hardware with lives and game overs, I can see that getting very repetitive and frustrating. Luckily we live in modern times, and that means modern solutions.

And oh yea the bosses. I know the robot masters are like, what the series is known for, but I still didn't expect NES era boss fights to be so fun. They all have slick designs with a unique gimmick and offer a nice challenge. Sure they're not all bangers, and Mega Man 3 does get a little repetitive with reused bosses, but the robot masters are still the highlights of these games.

I enjoyed these games so much I immediately started playing Megaman X, and it became one of my all time favorites period.

Starting the month off strong

Little Samson

And game 2 of the month is more Megaman... well kind of anyway.

It's very similar to Megaman, just with a fantasy coat of paint. You run through levels, defeating enemies with projectiles until you fight a boss at the end of the stage.

Instead of swapping between robot powers, you swap between characters with their own abilities, strengths and weaknesses, and health bars. Samson can throw rocks and climb walls and ceilings. Dragon can shoot fire and glide in the air. Golem is tanky and strong, but is slow and lacks range. And Mouse sucks.

This was a late cycle NES game, and it shows. It's incredibly polished and full of charm. The pixel art is insanely good for this era, and the animations are all very fluid. Fluid animation is not typical for the NES, so it was really cool to see. It looks incredible for the period, and it plays as good as it looks.

Honestly, this game is another banger. My only real gripes with it are the nonsensical world map, later levels that are just full of way too many enemies, and how useless Mouse feels.

It's a great game, not worth the price it goes for secondhand, but still great.

Metal Max

(I only realized now that the game is Metal Max and not Max Metal. I dont feel like fixing it tho)

Yea, my opinion hasn't shifted with this one. I still think NES era RPGs are pretty dated and dogshit. Even Mother 1, the first entry in my favorite RPG series ever, feels like dogshit to actually play. So needless to say, I didn't like Max Metal.

I kinda already knew going in I wasn't going to like it. The Mad Max "desert and cars" apocalypse settings never really did it for me. Still, I wanted to give the game a fair shot and went in with an open mind.

And there was just nothing to keep me hooked. No story, no real characters, no interesting mechanics (to me anyway), no fun world to explore. Nothing to keep me entertained.

For the time I spent with it, the mechanics seem fairly deep. Especially for an NES game. For someone, this is THE game for them, I'm just not that someone.

Adventure of Lolo

This game was a treat.

Adventure of Lolo is a puzzle game. And like many NES era puzzle games, its a form of Sokoban puzzle game (think strength puzzles from Pokemon).

Where I feel like this game shines however, is in its mechanics. More specifically, how willing this game is to use every element of it's mechanics in a puzzle solution. Let me explain what I mean with an example.

There's a mechanic called "magic shot". You gather ammo for it 2 at a time in the various levels. Shooting an enemy turns it into an egg that you can push. After sometime, the enemy will break out and be permanently relocated to where it broke out from. If you shoot and egg again, the enemy is temporarily removed from the map. Shortly after, it will respawn where it originally was.

A simple mechanic has a surprising amount of aspects to it, and every aspect is a solution to at least one puzzle. Most of the time I got stuck in this game was because I didn't realize I could use a certain mechanic in a certain way. That out of the box thinking made puzzle solving very fun.

The game also felt like it was the perfect length. 50 levels felt just enough to keep ideas fresh without overstaying their welcome and becoming repetitive.

The game is fantastic, and isn't probably my new favorite puzzle game on NES. Sorry Fire N Ice.

Mr. Gimmick

I really thought I was going to like Mr. Gimmick. The game is gorgeous, another late cycle game. The world is colorful, enemy and stage designs are very cute and weird, almost akin to Kirby's Adventure.

It has a momentum system, akin to the Genesis Sonic games, and a star that acts both as a weapon and a movement tool. I should be eating this shit up, so my didn't I?

First of all, the game does have moment yes, but the character doesn't move fast. It makes smaller, precision based jumps feel harder without the rewarding payoff of blazing through a level.

You can use your star to gain momentum, but I have gripes with that too. You have to like, throw the star behind you and have it bounce off a wall, then jump on it and ride it to gain momentum. Sounds kind of cool in theory, but super unintuitive in practice. It also sucks as a weapon because the star also has momentum. If you miss and it slows down, you have to wait very long for it to despawn before you can throw another star out.

I feel like I'm missing something. Everyone I know who played this game said its one of their favorite. I've seen people do really cool shit in this game, but I just can't get into it. I enjoyed it enough to see it through to the true end (its only like 3 hours long), but I don't see myself ever playing it again.

Conclusion

And that's everything I played this month. I had more games I wanted to play and replay (haha), but this month ended up being really busy. Between some financial trouble and issues at work, I was just left drained. I used whatever energy I had left to play what interested me, rather than sticking to an arbitrary challenge.

Overall, I still think this month was a success. I got through a good few games, found some new favorites, and enjoyed myself doing it. Everytime I play NES, it feels like I find more and more diamonds in the rough. More than I thought existed. It makes me think this system's library is better than I gave it credit for.

Even if some games are still a little rough.

[replayremake]

Replay's Top 100 Games (#80-71)

Alright here we go again, Top 100 games #80-71

Jumping straight into it with

#80 - Fire Emblem Engage

Starting with a big one oh boy.

I have a lot of very strong opinions about this game.

The story is absolute garbage, it almost feels like a parody of the the series. The main villain is as "generic evil purple dragon" as it gets, they speedrun the dead parent story beat so fast it's almost comedic, and everything in between feels nonsensical and only loosely connected. The characters are overdesigned and shallow, water downed tropes of other FE characters.

If it was an intention decision to be a parody, I can at least respect the creative decision. But even if it was, so much is lost by making that choice.

It makes me not care about the story or characters, not care about the plot beats or support conversations. It makes this game's version of the Monastery boring, bland, and annoying. And above all else, it makes the game forgettable.

It would be the worst game in the franchise... if the gameplay wasn't so fucking good.

Between skill inheritance, the more free class system, and engage rings, it's easily the most customizable Fire Emblem game period. On top of that, the break mechanic makes the weapon triangle actually impactful in a fun and interesting way.

Normally, this level of player freedom is difficult to balance around, but the maps in engage are, well, engaging. They offer enough of a challenge that you're forced to use your powerful abilities in smart and creative ways.

It's so well designed, each element builds off the last to create one of the most fun tactics games ever. Its just a shame that the rest of the game is so unenjoyable that it had to fall this far on the list.

#79 - DOOM

I said I loved boomer shooters, and this is THE boomer shooter. It's crazy that an FPS from 1993 that didn't even utilize the mouse for aiming still feels so good to play nowadays.

I guess that's the magic of good movement and satisfying gunplay. Like yea, the levels are well designed, the enemies are varied, the midi soundtrack slaps, and the aesthetics are iconic. But at the core of it all, what really makes DOOM fun can just be boiled down to "Run fast shoot good." I love that shit, inject it into my veins.

#78 - Left 4 Dead 2

A short, simple and sweet one. L4D2 is one of the best zombie games ever made, one of the beat co-op experiences in gaming, and made even better by a thriving and easily accessible modding scene.

I could go into detail about the AI Director and how it improves the experience, but you really don't need to know how it works to know this game is great.

Really, I just wish I had people in my life who still played it, so that I could still play it with them.

#77 - UFO 50

This game is just a joy. It truly is 50full fledged games from an alternative timeline where people never stopped developing for the NES.

The whole collection can be summarized with the phrase "limitations breed creativity." Every single title here is so creative mechanically and has such a high level of polish, every single one would have been smash hits in the NES days. And at just 50 cents a game, that value really just can't be beat.

I'm so happy a game like this even exists and is as high quality as it is. A no brainer for NES fans.

#76 - Mario Kart Wii

To me, this is the best Mario Kart hands down. Yea the items are unbalanced and Deluxe has more tracks and there's only like 2 viable combinations of kart and racer. But Flamerider Funky Kong feels better to control than anything in Deluxe.

I like the general vibe and aesthetic way more, wheelies are satisfying to do, shortcuts are more plentiful and fun to pull off, and the modding community is massive.

Wii is peak Mario Kart, I'm so sorry if you disagree cause you're wrong.

#75 - Super Mario Galaxy 2

Galaxy 2 is an interesting game, and I have a lot of weird opinions on it.

On paper, it's literally just more Mario Galaxy. Hell, in some ways it's better that Mario Galaxy. It has some of the most creative mechanics, levels, and ideas in the entire Mario franchise. Gameplay wise, it's an upgrade, but to me, it feels clear that these are the "leftovers" of Galaxy 1. The ideas that didn't make the final cut.

And I think with that being the case, a lot was lost between Galaxy 1 and 2. The isolation, the mysticism, the grand feeling of exploring the cosmos, and the feeling of being a small spec in a greater universe. All of it felt absent in Galaxy 2

Any strong emotions I felt in Galaxy 1, with the exception of joy and fun, weren't felt in Galaxy 2.

Despite literally being a sequel, I associate Galaxy 2 more closely with 3D World. Both titles are a collection of Mario levels, loosely tied together by a common overarching theme. For that reason, Galaxy 2 is still one of the best games I've ever played, but it doesn't hit the emotional highs that other games higher on that list have.

And for that reason, this game ranks where it does.

#74 - Kirby Super Star

I felt like if I put Kirby's Adventure on this list, I had to put Kirby Super Star. It's just Kirby's Adventure, but better in like, every way. And I really liked Kirby's Adventure.

It looks better, sounds better, plays better. Its more fluid, controls great, has more game modes (I especially love Great Cave Offensive).

It's just more Kirby, it doesn't go much deeper than that, and it doesn't have too.

#73 - Kirby's Air Ride

My first Kirby game, an air based racing game for the Nintendo Gamecube. Wait, didn't this happen with Sonic?

Anyway this game is so fun. It excels in its simplicity, just a stick and a button. And despite that simplicity, this is one of the most creative racing games ever made.

Every track is so interesting, both in mechanics and aesthetics. They look gorgeous for the Gamecube. Each star is so unique and fun to control, without ever breaking that simple "one stick one button" control scheme. And City Trial.

City Trial was the shit. Outside of completing checkboxes, most of my time was spent just free roaming in City Trial. It felt so much larger as a kid.

I just wish I had more people willing to give the game a shot and play with me.

#72 - Resident Evil 4 (2023)

I started my journey through the Resident Evil games with the remake series. You can clearly see the shift towards the more "action" oriented style of games clearly with this entry.

I think this game (the original anyway) is held in such high regard, because the game balances the action and scary ratio almost perfectly. There are parts in this game that are genuinely really scary, and despite the badass Leon is in this title, you never feel that comfortable going into combat.

In RE2, I always felt like I had just a little less than what I needed. I was a few mixed herbs or rounds short that what was needed. RE4 feels like I have exactly enough to scrape by. That I can go into a combat knowing I can make it through, but I need to be on point, or else the scales will tip fast.

Every fight still felt like I was surviving by the skin of my teeth, and that's the feeling I go to these games for. I'm glad not every RE game is like 4, but I'm glad 4 is what it is.

#71- Luigi's Mansion

Luigi's Mansion was the first "horror" game I ever played, and it scared me so bad as a kid I didn't actually playthrough it until years later. But I was always enamored by it.

I feel like my experience with the Gamecube growing up was defined by spin off titles that showed different parts of the worlds of their respective franchises. Kirby's Air Ride, Sonic Riders, and Luigi's Mansion.

I always liked these places in games, because they made the worlds feel much bigger than they actually were in game. Luigi's Mansion did that for me for the world of Mario. Yea it was just the one building, but it has a tone, aesthetic and vibe never seen before or since in the Mario Franchise (and yes, thats including the sequels).

Outside of just the vibes, the game is just really good. The mansion is well designed, the poltergeist feels good to use, each boss is like it's own mini puzzle to solve. There are twists and scares and suspense. I'll never forget how I felt growing up, when the mansions power went out and everywhere I thought was safe suddenly wasnt.

For a while, this game was the gold standard of horror games for me. So much so that when I wanted to do a Halloween DnD one shot with my friends, the entire thing was HEAVILY inspired by this game.

It holds a special place in my heart, and part of me in retrospect feels like it deserves to be higher. I'm not redoing the whole list to make it happen tho.

[replayremake]

Replay's Top 100 Games (#100-81)

A few friends in a discord server I'm in decided to rank their top 100 games and make a short series of posts about it.

I was busy at the time when they first started their lists, but after a few boring days at work, I finally have something... well idk if I'd say accurate but it's a list alright.

My tastes and favorite fluctuate constantly, so this list could be invalid 10 minutes after I post this. So look at it more like "these are 100 games I really like loosely ordered and subject to change."

I tend to take a more emotional approach to the media I enjoy rather than an objective one. So, if you think a game is too low or high or a game that sucks ass makes the list, know that at some point in my life it probably meant something to me. Wait until you see the gap between Galaxy 2 and 1 and then you'll understand how little sense this list actually makes.

I'm also playing catchup a bit, starting at week 3 put me behind. So, here's an extra length post with 20 games, 100-81. The rest will be posted 10 at a time week by week.

Alright let's just get into it already:

#100 - Ace Attorney Trilogy

Already cheating, this is 3 games. Idgaf they're all a blast. The Ace Attorney franchise is something I got into later in life but was always aware of. These games are so fun to play through. They're absurd, lighthearted, but still heartwarming and engaging. I adore most of the characters and the dumb situations they find themselves in. But, above all else, these games are very compelling. It's easy to write off the absurdity as silly and stupid, but when you're actually piecing together the crime and taking the scraps of evidence you mustered up to court, and you turn the case around by the skin of your teeth and the music kicks in, it's thrilling. Don't let them being at 100 fool you, I love these games.

#99 - Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

Underrated Gem. Yea it's weird for a Zelda game, but that doesn't mean it's not still a blast. The sword combat feels really good, the world is fun to explore, and despite it being more "RPG" than what we're used to with the series, it still stands as a unique experience that nothing else on the NES really matched. A lot more NES games made this list than I expected, especially given I used to hate this system's library. I think Zelda II (And Zelda 1) were the first games I played that started to change my tune on the NES.

#98 - Sonic Riders

My first Sonic game (I have such a weird history with this series). This game oozes style. The animated opening, the track designs, the characters. It hooked me the first moment I touched this game as a little 6 year old. Really, the fact it has such clean gameplay was just a bonus. I still love booting this game up and playing a few tracks here and there, even if I am ass at it.

#97 - Super Castlevania IV

A more recent entry to this list. I thought this game was great. It looks great, it plays great, it sounds great. The gothic art style just works so well in 16 bit, and it creates such a strong atmosphere. I don't think this game would have been as enjoyable without save states, but modern times means modern solutions. I already see this game being my introduction into what will inevitably become a hyperfixation on a new series.

#96 - Bug Fables

This is an underrated indie gem. I'm a big fan of the Paper Mario games (well really just TTYD), and this game manages to capture that games magic so well. Not just in how it looks, but how it plays and feels. I think these "spiritual succesor" games succeed when they can make you feel nostalgic, but also make you feel like you experienced something new. Bug Fables nails that perfectly, and the only reason it isn't higher is because I never actually finished it (Save data got deleted ]: ). I do intend on starting fresh again someday and actually seeing it through to the end.

#95- DUSK

I fucking love boomer shooters and Dusk is one of the best. Its PS1 styled graphics with some of the most fun weapons and movement in the genre. Bunny Hopping across a corn field maze and barrel stuffing a scarecrow with my shotgun. No other FPS I know lets you do a front flip in first person just by flicking the mouse. It feels like I'm playing something from the DOS and Build engine era with the modern luxuries of, well modern gaming.

#94 - Super Mario RPG

This game is honestly on here because of how indirectly influential it was in my life. I played it growing it and liked it, but never beat it or anything. But it was all over the early 2000s internet. Let's plays, Newgrounds animations, "Geno for Brawl". This game represents a simpler era of my life, filled with YouTube Poops and fake console leaks. The fact that it's a fun game (with an art style that I really like and wished to see more of on the SNES) is just a plus really.

#93 - Call of Duty: Black Ops

These next few games are what I like to call "I owned an Xbox 360 growing up". Genuinely, I love Black Ops. I still love Black Ops. It's the overall peak of the series to me. It has the best visual identity, the most fun gameplay, some of the best zombies, THE best campaign. I know the COD games were never designed to be masterpiece works of art, but Black Ops felt like the first time a Call of Duty game tried to be something special, something different. I think that effort to stand out paid off.

#92 - Far Cry 3

Oh man, this is THE Far Cry game. Sure, it has a LOT of the typical ubisoft problems. The dumb towers, the crafting, the million checkboxes to tick off. But that's not where my mind goes with this game. My mind thinks of the feeling of getting stronger this game nails. You feel like a frail young guy, out of his element. You die quickly, and survival is a real struggle. But then the jungle molds you, and you begin to thrive. Taking down enemy bases singlehandedly. Something I love about this game, is you max out your skill tree about halfway through, and spend the last half of the game just tearing through everything. This gameplay progression also fits in amazingly with the story's themes, of this strength you're gaining being a helpful, but corrupting force. It's a great game, with many good feelings associated with it.

#91 - Battleblock Theater

The OG friendslop (okay that's Castle Crashers but whatever). I played so much of this game with my friends growing up. As I said, I was a Newgrounds baby, and I love that general "flash" art style to this day. This game was just, dumb fun, and some of the best moments with some of my best friends from youth were spent playing this game. For that reason, it'll always hold a place in my heart.

#90 - Sonic Generations

Again, I had a really weird history with the Sonic Franchise. When I first played Sonic Generation, I didn't play any of the game it referenced. I still haven't played any of the other 3D Sonic games for any significant amount of time. That said, this game was still awesome. I think it says a lot that a game being sold on nostalgia is still a fun enough product that people fresh to the series can have such a great time with it. There is no real deep analysis here, the game is just really fun.

#89 - Fear and Hunger

Now is where the deep analysis begins. I love this game for everything it does, and I hate it for the same reasons. This game really is something special. I'm planning a whole post where I delve into this game and explain why its not just a super edgy rage game and is actually a masterful work of art, so I'll save a lot of what I have to say for then. That being said, this game is really frustrating to play, and is genuinely unfair at time which is the only reason why I ranked it so low. I love everything this game does and wouldn't want it to change anything, but sometimes I do really hate playing it. It's sequel however, well you gotta wait and see.

#88 - Kirby's Adventure

Its Kirby, what do you want me to say. It's an incredible title and technological marvel for the NES, it's what introduced Kirby's iconic copy abilities, its fun and bubbly and it's fucking Kirby. I love it. Its fun, its cute, and it makes me happy. sometimes thats all a game needs to be.

#87 - Street Fighter 3rd Strike

Yo I am straight fucking ASS at this game, but goddamn I love it. No one does pixel animation better than this era Capcom, and 3rd Strike was the best it's ever been. Slap a coat of "90s Urban Aesthetic" pain on it and create one of the deepest fighting game gameplay ever created and boom, you have a work of art. Even if I suck buttcheeks at these old fighting games, I will always love watching them and being a part of the community. There's a reason Evo moment 37 happened in this game, it really is something special.

#86 - Melty Blood Actress Again Current Code

Another fighting game and spoiler, it won't be the last. Melty Blood does a lot of really cool things that won't many any sense if you're not a fighting game player. Its an older fighting game that feels so smooth to just, pick up and play. No readjustment, I can just grab my stick and slap some buttons and it just feels good. On top of that, it looks good, it sounds good, and the characters are fun if a little generic. Even tho I'm not a Tsukihime fan, I still love Melty Blood, and this is the best one. (Also Neco Arc)

#85 - Deadrising

Deadrising 2 was the first rated M game I ever bought myself and I became obsessed. And as much as it felt right to put it on this list, I went with Deadrising 1 over it. Yea combo weapons are cool, but Deadrising does so much better. It has a better story, better protagonist, better characters. Its more challenging, the setting is more interesting, it's more iconic. Yea the gameplay and controls are a little dated, but that doesn't mean unfun. Its a shame the way this franchise peaked early on, and Capcom just, didn't know what to do with it afterwards. This series, and specifically this game, will always be special to me, even if it isn't to Capcom.

#84 - Metroid Zero Mission

Honestly, I don't have a lot of strong opinions on this game. Really it's only on here because I love Super Metroid SO MUCH, and a game that's basically just Super Metroid again is going to rank highly. It doesn't really do a lot different or even better than Super Metroid, but it doesn't need to to be an amazing game, because Super Metroid is an amazing game. Part of me feels like it should be a little lower because of it's lack of string identity compared to Super Metroid but eh whatever.

#83 - Fire Emblem

This was the first Fire Emblem game I ever played, and it started a obsessive downward spiral that was only made worse by FE Heroes. Needless to say, I like Fire Emblem, and this game is certainly that. The game play is fun, the story is good, I like the characters a lot. It's a great first introduction to the series and I love it for that reason. I don't think its a mistake this was the first one to be localized. That all being said, it is simple, and delving further into the rest of the series shows how that simplicity can be a hindrance. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy the time I spent with this game, and I still play it from time to time. (Also the crit animations are peak)

#82 - Super Monkey Ball 2

Dude, you like Super Monkey Ball? I knew I liked you man. This is another one of those "this game is just fun man" entries. I've spent so much time trying to skip or speedrun levels and its just addicting. I remember being a little kid in summer camp, seeing a kid in a different room playing this game through a glass window, and just being mesmerized. To this day, it's still one of my biggest "I have time to play a games but don't want to start anything new" games.

#81 - The Legend of Zelda

I think I experienced this game in the perfect way. My first playthrough was streamed on Twitch, as part of a Zelda Marathon I was attempting and failed at. I played the entire game in one sitting, with chat giving me hints on where to go, without outright telling me. Zelda 1 can be a bite cryptic at times, it's free form nature is its greatest strength, but can also be its greatest hindrance. Playing through it this way tho made every discovery feel rewarding without feeling frustrating. My biggest flex is finding Ganon's lair 5 duengons early because my intuition said to bomb the weird looking rock.

I think the lower parts of the list is the hardest to make. It feels like any one of these games could fill any other slot and still be "correct". But, I believe in the mindset of "just create something, don't attempt perfection". Besides if I tried to make the "perfect" list, they'd all be finished before I even started.

Alright 20 games was a lot of talk about and I had to keep the blurbs fairly short because of it. Hope I kept you entertained, and tune in next time to see a grown man write about even more video games.

Oh, and also honorable mention to Pseudoregallia. The website I was using to make my list didn't have it as an option, but it would have falled somewhere in this range if it did. It's an amazing game.

[replayremake]

Animal Crossing made me appreciate the "in-between" Moments in life

Played and Shelved - [April 2026]

I'm apart of what's escentially a book club for retro games. Each month a game is picked and we all play through and talk about it. This month was Animal Crossing, no specific title, just whichever we preferred.

At first I was going to play the Gamecube version, as it felt the most retro. But I very quickly realized starting from scratch with only a month to play wasn't going to be the most satisfying experience. The only games I had progress on were New Horizons, which disappointed me when I first played through it and I had no desire to return to. And New Leaf, which I haven't played in over a decade.

When I first booted up New Leaf, I just started walking around, taking everything in and slowly remembering my town's layout. The fruit forest outside the train station, the flower field to the bottom right, the fountain by the waterfall with the memorial to my Uncle.

It was the same feeling as walking around your old neighborhood, just without the melancholy of seeing all the ways its changed over the years. Fitting, as the last time I played New Leaf was before I moved away from New York, and I'm revisiting it after I've finally moved back.

I wasn't only getting reaquainted with my surroundings, but with my villagers too. I made a note to talk to everyone of my villagers, find out who's still here, who isn't, and who's new to town. I was happy to see most of my villagers stayed, even happier to see all my favorites did too.

They all had different reactions to my disappearance. Some were sad I left, others angry. Some forgot who I was until the realization finally set it.

But they were all happy to see me back.

Growing up, I moved around a lot. Not necessarily from home to home, but certainly from school to school. I was bullied a lot as a kid, and I had many "fresh starts" because of it. I felt I had to distance myself from everyone, not just the people who made my life miserable, but the few friends I had too.

I never really knew how to keep the people that mattered to me close. At some point, all those relationships fizzled out as I distanced myself. It was a lesson I didn't fully learn until my early twenties.

Now, I understand how to feed the fires of friendship and keep it burning. I'm a very different person now as I was back then. But, I still think about the friends I lost because I distanced myself, the fires I let burn out.

Those who would still be in my life should I learned the lesson sooner.

Every so often I get the urge to reach out to one of those people. Sometimes, I do. Those conversations usually go the same way. Pleasant, albeit awkward. We catch up in broad strokes of life until we have nothing more to talk about. And then, the conversation fizzles out, just like the relationship did years ago.

The closeness is gone. I mean, how could it not be. Its been so many years.

Playing New Leaf and still being friendly with all my villagers, even after all the years spent apart, it was really nice. Cathartic, if only artifical. It shows me a world where that conversation goes well, and I really can just reconnect with someone I used to know, and have things return to how they once were.

That's how I spent my first few days playing, getting reaquaited with my town and my villagers. Once I settled back in, it was time to get into my routines.

Animal Crossing is a slow game, intentionally so. It has a real time clock and things in game can take days or weeks to complete. That was something my little ADHD ridden teenage brain couldn't comprehend. So, I made frequent use of time travel whenever I got bored, and eventually burnt myself out on the game.

That's not how the game is meant to be played. You're supposed to open it each day, if only for a few minutes. Do whatever tasks are available, speak to a few villagers, maybe redecorate a little, then put it down. I've never given myself that experience, so when I started playing for the month I gave my self one rule:

NO TIME TRAVEL

Outside of one major exception I'll get to later, I stuck to this rule. And it really made the experience better.

The core loop I was following each day was simple. Whenever I booted up the game, I did so with a goal in mind. Sometimes it was picking fruit, sometimes it was redecorating, sometimes it was a new public works project. I would complete whatever the task was, and put the game down. My daily chores.

I found that this approach was perfect for the "inbetween" moments of life. Waiting for the train, walking to the store, the few minutes between finishing getting ready for work and the time you typically leave your house.

Anytime I could spare a few minutes, I could pull this game out and find something small to do. What I didn't expect however, was to be doing the exact same thing in the game itself. I feel thats best explained with an example.

Today's goal is picking fruits, I walk around to all the fruit trees on my island to sell their fruit. Only takes about 15-20 minutes. When walking from one clump of trees to the next, I find a bug I don't have yet. I catch it and bring it to Blathers to clear up some inventory room, selling my fruits along the way. Now, I have some money and I'm buy the shopping distract, might as well hop into the stores and see what they have. I also kept an extra peach spare so I can visit Club LOL and hear a new joke.

Then, I continue picking fruits, when I get a ping from Aubrey, she's inviting me over her house. I visit for a bit and grab a piece of her furniture on the way out and continue picking fruits.

My inventory is full at this point, time to sell again before continuing on. I run into Stinky at Retail, and he just put something up for sale. Stinky is an old favorite of mine, so I buy it. We exchange some dialogue, and I continue with my fruit tasks.

After a while, I make my way near Puddle's house, and she's outside. She's new in town so I decide to talk to her. She's asking a small favor of me, to return something she borrowed to Graham. Being a good mayor and better neighbor, I do so and report back.

Only afterwards do I finish my task of picking and selling fruit, almost an hour later. After a few days of this loop, I realized that's what makes Animal Crossing so fun. Your mundane chores are filled with spontaneity.

I set out that day with one task, but the most memorable parts were what happened in between each step. In the walks from tree to tree to shop to tree.

And at some point I thought to myself, why can't real life be like this?

Sure, not every walk to the store is going to be a life changing experience, just like how on some days all I really did was pick fruits. But, if I never give life the chance to be spontaneous, how will I ever enjoy moments like this?

I only fully understood this once I broke my time travel rule.

As I said, this was the game of the month for the club I'm a part of. I wanted to have some goal in mind to complete by the end of the month. I settled on the goal of having a perfect town, it's the closest thing to "beating" Animal Crossing that I could think of.

So, I did. And I thought I would show off my accomplishment with the fancy golden water can you get as a reward for 15 days straight perfect town status.

Only problem was, 15 days later would land me in May. I wanted to show this off while it was still game of the month, and so I time traveled.

It did not go unpunished.

While time traveling for the watering can, a villager of mine, Agent S, moved out of town. Agent S was never a favorite of mine, but she moved in while I was playing at my uncle's funeral 13 years ago. Everytime I saw her, she reminded me of him.

Now that reminder is gone.

I tried to speed through the process, skip the in-between, but life happened without me. If I took it slower, I could have stopped her from moving out.

But I didn't.

Eventually, I got my golden watering can, and I stopped playing after that.

I had a lot to reflect on.

I consciously chose to engross myself in this game's world, play on its time as it wanted me to, and I was rewarded for it. The one time I chose not to, I was punished.

Does this apply to my real world too? Everytime I pull my phone out waiting for my train, am I denying a conversation with a new friend?

Do I deny the chance to let life, happen?

New York is a very fast moving place, with more than a lot going on. Maybe, slowing down and taking some of it in would be a good thing.

Maybe some of life's best moments happen in the in-between.

[replayremake]

Playing Mother 3 after Losing my Mother

Completed - [June 2025] [TW] Detailed depictions of grief I love Mother 3, it's my favorite game of all time.

I first experienced this game at 9 years old, through Chuggaconroy's Let's Play on YouTube. It was the first game I ever experienced that made me realize games can be more than just cool or fun. They can be deeply emotional, and tell beautiful stories. I have a deep love and respect for this game and the franchise as a whole. They're all subversions and satires of the RPG genre. The earliest title existing at a time where the genre was in relative infancy. Mother 1 and Earthbound are both beautiful games in their own right, their influence can be felt rippling out to the modern day.

But they don't do what Mother 3 does. Not to say Mother 3 isn't a satire, it feels very intentional that the "collect the 7 MacGuffins" plot line is isolated to a single chapter at the end of the game. But, the satire doesn't feel as if it's the focus, not in the same way the other games are.

Instead, the focus is on a small village. More specifically, a small family, and how both are ultimately destroyed by the corruption of Capitalism and Industrialization.

There are a million things I adore about this game, and I could go into a detailed rant about all of them. The way Capitalism is depicted as this corrupting force, akin to an "evil that spread across the land". I could talk about how every villager in Tazmily lives their own lives, and you can check in with all of them after every plot beat. I could talk about the gorgeous pixel art, and beautiful soundtrack, how insane and interesting series creator Shigesato Itoi is as a person. The fact he implemented a system that times how text is displayed on screen, to match how a person would talk, with various stops and pauses. People STILL find a way to talk about Earthbound 64 to this day. I really mean it when I say I love this game. I would recommend that anyone who hasn't yet, should play this game.

But, everything I've said has been discussed already, I wouldn't be contributing anything to the conversation. So, I chose to talk less so about the game, and more so my personal experience with it.

And more specifically, how I saw myself in Lucas' story. Spoiler warning for Mother 3 ahead. I don't think you need to have played it to finish this essay, but it certainly helps. . . .

Despite how much I adore this game, this was my first time actually playing it through all the way. I've played it several times before, but I always put it down for some reason (mainly Chapter 3). I watched chugga's playthrough 17 years ago, but this was the first time I ever fully experienced Mother 3's story firsthand. As a 25 year old adult. I bring attention to that because well, a lot changed in my life since I watched it as a 9 year old.

6 years ago on March 27th, the day I'm posting this, my mother lost her fight with pancreatic cancer and passed away. 6 years ago at this time, also marked the beginning of the Covid-19 lockdowns in America. I was only 20 years old. Technically an adult, but not even old enough to drink. I lost one of the most important people in my life, and then watched the world around me become something unrecognizable. Just like Lucas did, after losing his mother Hinawa and watching his village slowly succumb to the influence of Fassad and his Happy Boxes.

It was a shock, all at once. All in the span of 2 weeks, my life completely changed. I just, couldn't cope with it, not everything happening all at once like that. Change is always scary, and losing a loved one is a horrible, permanent change. And then on top, the world around me was changing rapidly. I couldn't even take comfort in the parts of my life that were "normal", because there is no more normal. Not at home, not outside, it just doesn't exist anymore. Just like that, life was never the same again.

When I saw what Tazmily became, this small rural village turning into a bustling metropolis practically overnight, I knew how Lucas felt.

When mom passed, my Dad slowly became more distant. Not out of malice, it was how he was coping with his grief. He couldn't stand to be home, surrounded by reminders a time now gone. He'd go out on long fishing trips, spend the night at friend's places. Just to be anywhere that wasn't home. Just like Flint, who spends all his time searching for Lucas' missing brother, Claus. Deep down, he must know it's pointless, but he forces himself to cling onto a shred of hope. The search keeps him going, it pushes him forward, gets him through his day to day, keeps his mind preoccupied. It's how he copes with his grief, at the expense at leaving little Lucas at home to fend for himself. Alone. Just like I was left alone.

The first time we see Lucas post time-skip, he's waking up in his empty house. He tries to go outside and start his day, when he remembers a flashback from the start of the game.

When you lose a parent so young, you lose a mentor, a guide in life. Lessons you would have been taught, you need to figure out on your own. There's also a heightened expectation of personal responsibility. There's no one there to remind you to take your PJs off anymore, now you need to remember to do it yourself.

I struggled with that a lot.

I had to learn how to take care of myself. I had to learn how to cook, make meals for myself, when to eat. I didn't have anyone calling me down for dinner anymore. I had to be the one to clean the house, no one else could when it started to get messy. I had to be the one deep cleaning the bathroom, rather than the one helping mom do it. I had to learn to financially support myself, how to be smart with my money, and how to make ends meet. I had to learn to be confident in my decisions, because I had to make them for myself. I couldn't go to mom for guidance anymore.

I didn't realize how much I relied on my mom, until I wasn't able to anymore.

.

.

.

All of this happens at the very start of Chapter 4. When I played it, I put the controller down and teared up. I saw myself in Lucas, I know how he felt and I felt for him. I felt for myself. But, life moves on, and the game needs to continue. From this point, the game starts to lighten up a lot. We get to explore the world Itoi made for us. It's funny, weird, quirky. You find a reggae song in a present, a save frog driving a tiny car, and fight against a sentient jealous bass. It's fun, you get lost it in all. Then the plot starts picking up, the stakes rise. Fassad chases you to the top of the Thunder Tower and falls off of it. You grab onto the helicopter with Rope Snake, and a mysterious Masked Man looks down at the party. The sadness you felt fades into the background, there's too much going on right now. Rope Snake's jaw fails, Lucas and the party falls, and he blacks out.

And he finds himself, in the Sunflower Fields.

When you lose someone, you don't always thing about them. You still need to carry on, live your life. Time moves on, and you along with it. Days, weeks, even months can pass without thinking about them. And then, something reminds you of them, and they're all you can think about. The Sunflower Fields is my favorite chapter in the game. It's wordless, as Lucas follows a ghost of Hinawa through an endless sea of sunflowers. Her Favorite Flower.

Lucas continues to follow her until they eventually reach a cliff. She walks off, floating above the sky, almost beckoning Lucas to follow her. And, he does. He jumps, and he falls.

There are many ways to read this scene. My interpretation is, it show's Lucas' desire. His desire to not only have his mom back, but for life to return to normal again. The Sunflower Field is completely natural, untouched by the industrialization Tazmily fell victim to. Lucas wishes to return to a simpler time, a time before Happy Boxes, before the Factory, before Club Tittiboo. Before Covid-19. Before the lockdowns. Before our mothers died. When you grieve someone so integral to your life, you don't just mourn the person. You mourn the time as well. You mourn how tidy the house always used to look, they took pride in keeping it clean. You mourn how excited they always got for the holidays, the decorations they spent hours putting up and the parties they threw. Christmas has never been the same with them gone. You mourn the late night conversations after work, and before your started your stream. You know she stayed up past her bedtime just to talk with you, even for a little. You mourn the before, and have to make peace living in the after.

At this point in the story, the characters notice a change in Lucas. At the start of the game, he was depicted and described as a coddled crybaby, too dependent on his brother and mother. Now, he's described as a strong and capable young man. He grew from his tragedy, and the villagers noticed.

We don't control when personal tragedy occurs, but we can chose how we respond to it. The greatest personal loss can lead to the greatest personal growth. On the other hand, it can also consume you, continue to eat away at you, and take even more.

When my mom died, I chose the latter. I sunk into a deep, self-destructive depression. I was unemployed, waking up at 4pm everyday, spending what money I had on delivering fast food every night. I was high for over 2 years straight, I didn't take care of myself. I didn't even really try to. This self-destructive spiral put a rift between my fiance and I. She was going to leave if I didn't start taking care of myself, and she would have been justified in doing so. I was going to let the greatest loss of my life continue to take from me, to cost me the most important person in my life. That was when I chose growth.

Three years later, and I'm the happiest and healthiest I've been in my entire life. The people closest to me see how I've grown, and they tell me they're proud. Just like the NPCs tell Lucas. Lucas barrels towards the end of the game with conviction. He is not the same scared boy he once was, and he faces what must be done head on. All the way until the end of the game, his final fight with the Masked Man, his brother, Claus.

I've spent this entire essay explaining how I felt Lucas' story of grief reminded me of my own. There is one large exception however. I don't have a brother. I have a older sister who I love dearly and is thankfully still with us. And, I think that still plays a role. This final fight, for as emotional and gut wrenching as it is, that it brings me to tears every time I experience it, doesn't resonate with me in quite the same way. It's a tragedy I haven't experienced yet. Yet. Unfortunately, the day will come where I have to bury someone else that close to me. My father, my sister, maybe my fiance. And when that day comes, it will be devastating.

But, I'm a stronger person now, just like Lucas is. You can feel the grief and anguish he feels, finally reunited after years apart, only to say goodbye one last time. But he isn't consumed by those feelings, he doesn't let them destroy him. He carries on, and when that dreadful day comes, I hope I can do the same. Lucas finishes his goal, and he pulls the final needle. The Dark Dragon awakens, and we watch it destroy the world, just as was foretold. The screen fades to black, and the word "end" appears on screen, before being followed by a question mark.

Then we realize we're able to walk around in the ending screen. We bump into characters from the game, they're still here, we just can't see them in the dark. After the initial shock, they start addressing the player directly, using a name we inputted at the very start of the game.

They're happy to see that you're okay too, and they thank you for everything you've done, how much you helped them along the way. Kumatora, Duster, Boney, Flint, Alec, Wess, Save Frog, and so many others. And the last person you speak to, is Lucas. He thanks you, just like the others. Says he wishes he didn't have to say goodbye so soon, and that he hopes we can meet again. And then, he asks how things are on our side of the screen.

"What's the world there like?" "It looks like things will work out here, but what about your world? Will it be alright?"

"Hey, other world. Be good to Ian!" . . .

This was, more powerful than it should have been. It was just text in a box, pixels on a screen. And yet, it did kind of feel like Lucas was talking to me. That, he knows what it's like. How it feels to have gone through what we went through, and he hopes I'm doing alright. Despite the tragedy that haunted the narrative, this village, this family, and Lucas especially. Despite it all, Lucas ends the game, ends his story happy. I hope to end mine the same way.

[replayremake]

Pokemon Legends ZA left me feeling... nothing.

Finished - [November 2025] Pokemon has always been my favorite franchise.

I own all the games, caught every single Pokemon across all eras of the games. I can name them all from memory, and have done so several times. I've collected countless Pokemon merchandise from over the years. I have a shelves that looks like this:

I've engaged with these games from just about every angle you can think of. Competitive Battler (VGC and Smogon), Pokedex Completionist, Shiny Hunter, Nuzlocker, Challenge Runner, ROM Hack Player, ROM Hack Maker. I've been a Pokemon fan for over 2 decades. I'm only 26 years old. Pokemon Firered was my first ever video game. It sparked my passion for this medium as a whole. It taught me how to read.

Over the years, this franchise has left me with many powerful emotions. Happiness, sadness, anger, excitement, hope, Disappointment.

I believe the Golden Era of the franchise has long been over. Pokemon games used to consistently raise in quality with each release. For YEARS, the games were just getting better and better.

And then, X and Y happened. They felt unfinished, a bit rushed. Especially coming off the backs of Black and White 2, those games were masterpieces. But, this was Pokemon's first time in 3D, so it makes sense they'd have some hiccups in the transition. I barely even noticed the shortcomings because I was having fun! Pokemon is always fun! Then we had ORAS, mixed options on launch but history looks back on it fondly, even with the missing Battle Frontier. Sun and Moon tho, they certainly had their issues. Long unskippable cutscenes, a lack of diverse environments. A lot of people like these games, and a lot didn't. I leaned more towards didn't, but who am I to say. I bought the Ultra games and played through them too, and I had fun doing so! Pokemon is always fun!

Next came Sword and Shield, the first home console, mainline Pokemon games. I don't need to tell you about the controversy. What I can tell you, is I stood on the side of keeping the national dex. But, I gave into the cope. Maybe the smaller scope will lead to greater focus and a more polished product! I don't believe the end result we got was that, but I bought them anyway. I played through both, multiple times to complete the Pokedex. And you know what, I still had my fun. Pokemon is always fun.

Legends Arceus was a fresh direction, I enjoyed it a lot. But, it was certainly undercooked, a great foundation for something else to build off of. Meanwhile, BDSP was a fucking joke. I can't believe we got sold that garbage for $60. And yet, I bought both versions, I bought Legends Arceus, and I played them all. I had fun. Pokemon is always fun.

I actually really enjoyed Scarlet and Violet, but the state they released in was abhorrent. No patches to fix it either, you were either stuck with the dreadful framerate, or needed to buy a $500 console upgrade to fix it. Over my time playing these games, I lost literal DAYS of my life due to the games lag. It's pathetic coming from a franchise as profitable as Pokemon. But like I said, ultimately I liked them, they were really fun games. Pokemon is always fun.

And now, we're at Legends ZA. One of the longest gap in releases for a mainline Pokemon game. I can't describe how excited I was. Legends Arceus was one of my favorite Pokemon games in a long time, and I described it as a "good foundation", and this game would almost certainly build off of it. Plus, it was announced early on that the game would take place solely in Lumiose. Maybe the smaller scope will lead to greater focus and a more polished product! Then it came out, and it was not that. The enviroments were, ugly. Flat and repetitive building textures with random geometry "scaffolding" littered about. The story was terrible, and it felt like it only existed to show off the new battle system as much as possible. A battle system that removes a lot of the depth from combat in these games. There isn't even an actual villain in this story, it's a terrible sequel to X and Y. And despite all of that, I barley noticed any of this while playing, because I was having fun. Pokemon is always fun. . . . But, is that enough anymore? Is fun all I'm looking for from these games?

Last year, my Fiance and I decided to look back at all the games we played that year, and rank them. We played a lot, and we thought it'd be fun to reflect on all of them. I was genuinely surprised to see Legends ZA at the bottom of that list. I played some incredible games that year. Mother 3, MGS2, Clair Obscur Expedition 33. All of them were fun yes, but they left me with lingering feelings and thoughts once the fun was over. Mother 3 was a beautiful story about grief and growing in spite of it. MGS2 made me question the reality I live in, even more so with the rise of powerful AI models. I can't even say the feelings and thought Clair Obscur left me with without risking spoiling this beautiful work of art. And when I look back on my time with Legends ZA, I don't think of anything. I don't feel... anything And that was when the problem stood out to me more. It was like eating a bag of chips. Yea you enjoy it in the moment, but you don't sit with the feelings the chips gave you. You don't reflect on the chips, you throw the bag out and move on with your day. And if you were to reflect on eating a bag of chips, you'd think less about how tasty they were, but how unhealthy they were for you. It's that word, "unhealthy", that feels more accurate than it should.

For the last 3 years, I've been on a journey of self improvement and reflection. A large part of that journey was learning to value my time more, and avoiding things or activities that didn't. And now, here I am. Over 150 hours put into Legends ZA, and no strong feelings or thoughts to come out of it. Just- nothing How did this happen? When I reflect on it, that word "unhealthy" come back up. As the franchise evolved following the success of Pokemon Go, it overall become more catching focused. More collection and completion focused. And with that shift, the games became more tedious, more grindy, and more repetitive. Every game, every DLC, they all have a new Pokedex you're expected to complete. A new charm to collect. I've already caught them all, I've caught tens of thousands of Pokemon in the 2 decades I've played this series. 100s of thousands of encounters over dozens of games, when is it enough? I've caught Pikachu in every single mainline title, but I better do it again so I can register him in the ZA Dex too. And yet, I still do for some reason. Even if it's the same task, with no substantial differences, that I've done for the last 2 decades. I still catch that Pikachu, and I still complete that Pokedex, because catching Pokemon, is fun. Pokemon is always fun.

It's the exact same predatory, time leeching strategies deployed by Gatchas and battle passes. They give you incentives and these grindy tasks to keep you preoccupied until the next bit of content comes out. The next character banner, the next battle pass, the next DLC, the next Pokemon Game. Complete 1000 battles to get the Shiny Charm, just in time for the Mega Dimensions DLC Drop. Log in everday to get you hourglasses and pull virtual trading card packs in TCG Pocket. Spend $5 and catch thousands of Pokemon to encounter shiny Jirachi in Pokemon Go.

Pokemon as a franchise really isn't a video game franchise anymore. I see it way more akin to something like San Rio, a merchandise company that sells marketable characters. Maybe, it's always been that way, but it still felt like the games were the priority. Now, it feels like they only exist to keep the franchise relevant, and to make more marketable characters. "Consume product and then get excited for next product."

One of the thoughts Clair Obscur left me with, was the idea that it's okay to let art die. To just, let it rest, rather than try to stretch it out indefinitely. The newest Tom Clancy game that came out was Rainbow Six Mobile in 2025. Tom Clancy died in 2013.

I don't want to discredit any of the people who worked towards the creation of these games, but it felt like they stopped being "art" a long time ago. After all, good art takes time, and time is the enemy. Time affects deadlines, it pushes back merch drops, our new TCG set, our upcoming plush line. How can people get excited for the Gecqua plush if their game hasn't come out yet?

I never thought I could outgrow Pokemon. I'm still a firm believer that adults can have childish hobbies and interests. But, as I continue to put myself first in life, I can see how my relationship with this games has become unhealthy. I shouldn't be feeling nothing over something that's been such a large part of my life. Not to sound insane here and "humanize" a billion dollar francise, but I feel like I outgrew this franchise in the way that two longtime friends outgrow their friendship. They've been a part of each others lives forever, but they live different lives. Have different experiences that shape them into different people. They're not the same as they were back then, and that's okay, people grow they change. But, those new versions of themselves might not click in quite the same way the old versions did. They try to make things work, after all, they've been apart of each others lives forever. However, things continue to sour, until eventually- Someone lets go.

Pokemon Day 2026 happened recently, and it was the main inspiration for writing this. It was 22 minutes of mobile game slop that I just, didn't care about. At the end was our first look at the new Pokemon games, generation 10, Pokemon Wind and Pokemon Waves.

And once again, I felt nothing. As I grow older, what I value in the media I engage with changes. As Pokemon grows older, the franchise changes into something different than what I knew, different than what I value. I'm clinging onto this franchise because at one point in my life it was the most important thing to me. But deep down, I know it's for the best that I let it go. As of right now, I don't plan on buying Pokemon Wind and Pokemon Waves. Legends ZA opened my eyes to how apathetic I've been growing with the series. The hype I felt for it's release was stronger than any emotion the final product left me with, so I just couldn't bring myself to be excited for these new games. This would be the first Pokemon game I ever skipped. I know it's silly to make such a big deal over not buying a game, it's silly to even write all this out in the first place. However, this series does mean a lot to me. It's been a constant source of joy in my life ever since I could recall memories. I already don't like change, and this is a big one for me. At the very least, writing it all out helps me feel more secure in my decision to do what's best for me. Only time will tell if I stand by what I said here.

[replayremake]

How I chose to engage with A Link to the Past

100% Completed - [February 2026]

I have a very interesting relationship with The Legend of Zelda.

I love the franchise to death, but for some reason, I always considered myself a "fake" Zelda fan.

In my head, Zelda fans are these hardcore loyalists who know all the lore, completed all the games start to finish. They read Hyrule Historia, they get Zelda tattoos, they wear the cargo shorts and green tee fit every day to school. This franchise is their life.

In reality, not only is the average Zelda fan not the person I'm describing, but I also kinda hit that "hardcore fan" status a while ago. I know the lore, own all the games physically, and have played a significant chunk of them. I even cosplayed Link multiple times and main him in Smash Bros.

And yet, there's this little fairy nagging in my ear going "Fake fan, poser" over and over. I think I know why tho. While I own all the games, and I played a large chunk, I never beat them. The first Zelda game I beat was Breath of the Wild. The second was Cadence of Hyrule, if that even counts. And on top of that are what games litter the "unplayed" pile. Yea we got some smaller, less important titles like Triforce Heroes and Four Swords Adventure, sure.

Ocarina of Time. A Link to the Past. Foundational pillars of the Zelda Franchise. Left untouched for decades.

And then I challenged myself. I was going to put my self doubt to rest once and for all. I was going to marathon the entire Zelda series to prove I wasn't a fake fan, and stream it all as proof! I got burnt out after Zelda II... And that was it. To this day, I only ever finished BOTW, CoH, Zelda I and Zelda II. A measly 4 games. I truly was a fake fan, and there would be where the record lie for the next 6 years.

That was, until one night I was speaking to my Fiancé about Zelda, and I asked the question: "Would you wanna play through a Zelda game together?" .

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This all served as a long winded was of saying I'm on a bit of a Zelda kick lately. It truly is a franchise I love dearly, but I never seem to give it the time it needs or deserves. I really want to change that, especiall now that I'm older and value my time more. So, I dusted off the CRT, pulled out the SNES, and plopped in the cartridge. I typically prefer to play on original hardware whenever possible. I'm not immune to the convivence of emulation, but there is an extra layer of enjoyment seeing this old tech get put to use. It makes me nostalgic for an era I never got the chance to truly experience. Plus these older games look gorgeous on a CRT.

And, I feel like this set-up really contributed to what it was I loved most about my time playing ALTTP

The Vibes.

There's so many objective things I could point at as to why I like this game. The gameplay loop is incredible, it was the title that cemented the series formula. The sense of exploration is incredible, feeling freer than later titles in the series despite the smaller Hyrule. The Dungeons and Boss design is great outside of that stupid fucking worm the game makes you kill twice.

They're all reasons why I enjoy this game, but none of them are what truly made the experience for me. It was the vibes.

Vibes is such a difficult concept to convey, because it, doesn't really mean anything. It basically boils down to "I felt a certain way while playing", but that goes beyond just the game. It's how I played it, who I played it with, my mindset when I played it. The room's lighting when I played, what time of day I played at. So much goes into creating a "vibe", that I can't objectively break down what's "vibe-y" about this game.

But what I can do, it try to paint a picture, and see if you see what I see.

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It's late at night, the lights in the room are warm and dim. It was a long day at work, so I got home after dark. I'm in my comfy pajamas, lying on the couch next to my fiancé. We just finished dinner, and want to relax a bit before bed. We throw a fireplace on the TV behind us. She reaches for the Steam Deck, and I grab the Snes controller. The CRT turns on with a flash and that staticy crackle noise. I boot up the game, and sit on the file select screen for a bit, taking in the music. I start playing. Crackles from the fireplace, the sounds of buttons being pressed, the audio from the game mixing with the low drone of the CRT. It's peaceful, relaxing. The comfy, yet beautiful sprite work only contribute to the feeling.

I'm exploring a cave, and find a crack in the wall. I bomb it and head inside. It's a fairy fountain. The music fills the air and it's just-

Magical

It's that same feeling of stumbling across a Stickerbush Symphony video at 2 in the morning. You just get lost in it all for a bit. God, I don't know how the SNES can just sound so good in the right hands. I put the controller down. I lay back and just, take it all in. Not just the game, everything about the moment. It's calm, relaxed. Beautiful music is playing from a game I love. My stomach is full, I'm with the person I love most. Regardless of whatever else might be going on it my life, whatever might be stressing me out. Right now, in this moment, life is good.

You should sit with it for a bit.

.

.

.

I do, and then I pick the controller back up, and start playing again. This happened multiple times over the few days I spent playing this game. This experience made me realize that how you choose to engage with something can drastically affect your experience with it. So much of the praise I'm giving this game can also be contributed to the outside factors surrounding it. But, it was the culmination of everything that made this playthrough as memorable as it was. It was everything I added, and everything the game added, the culmination of both that made this experience what it was. A Link to the Past is a special game, and how I chose to engage with it made it even more special to me. I don't think I could have had this experience on a marathon livestream, trying to beat it as fast as possible, sandwiched between Zelda II and Link's Awakening. I finally gave this game and series the time and attention it deserved, and it rewarded me with an unforgettable experience. Now, I do feel like a "true" Zelda fan. Not because of anything I said at the start, but because this franchise gave me an experience I never felt with any other game.

[replayremake]

Super Mario Galaxy's comforting Loneliness

Replayed and Finished [December 2025 -January 2026]

Super Mario Galaxy is a very important game to me.

It enamored me as a child. It was THE game I kept coming back to. I played it with friends, I played it by myself. I got all 120 stars, then did it all again as Luigi. I completed the Grand Finale Galaxy and then... that was it... I did all there was to do...

But I still wanted more, I wanted to stay longer. Then Mario Galaxy 2 was announced, and I was over the moon. I remember my little ADHD brain couldn't stop thinking about it, I couldn't stop talking about it.

It came out! and I was, Disappointed.

I had my fun don't get me wrong, but even to little me, it was missing something. To this day I've only replayed Galaxy 2 one other time, while I keep coming back to Galaxy 1.

And that's kind of the thing, I keep coming back to Galaxy 1. Every few years, I replay this game. It's comfort food to me. There's something about it specifically that draws me back to it. I didn't know why, until this most recent playthrough, where I sat with the feelings the game gave me, and tried to understand them.

I found that Mario Galaxy had this, ever present loneliness. One of the first things you see once the game properly starts is a wide pan of the moon you woke up on, and the vast emptiness of space. Only a handful of piano keys play, and they let the moment just, sit for a bit.

The Comet Observatory is one of the most iconic parts of this game, but when we first see it, it looks like this:

Cold, dark, mostly empty. Just like the void of space it inhabits. And this game like to constantly remind you of that endless nothing. For every galaxy, every star that has an atmosphere, a comforting blue sky with clouds scattered about, there is at least one where all that surrounds you is empty space. Many of the galaxies, the only other sentient life is Bowser's invading forces. Many others, it's just you.

And I realized, that loneliness was the draw to this game for me. I wasn't randomly replaying it every few years. I played it when was lonely. This most recent playthrough was started on my first Christmas spent alone after moving out. The playthrough before that was when 3D All Stars came out, shortly after my mom had passed away due to cancer. And the time before that, was when my family moved away from the place I knew all my life, right as I finally found a group of people where I felt like I belonged. All times in my life where I felt, crushingly and overwhelmingly lonely. Even as far back as my childhood, this game entered my life when I first switched schools, and when I was severely bullied and outcast. I wanted something that, understood my loneliness. Mario Galaxy was, and still is, that thing. I said this game was a comforting loneliness, and that's because of, well, everything else. This game is a Mario title. It's loud, fun, colorful. You get lost in the joyous parts just as much as you do the lonely ones. The same cold Comet Observatory you started the game on looks like this by the end.

It's warm, colorful, full of life. A stark contrast to how you first saw it. The crushing loneliness has vanished, even the empty void it floats in feels just a bit brighter. You ride the warps up to the top, and enter the final dome and find, this:

No music plays, only ambient noise. Just you and Polari, on this small green cliff in an endless field. I don't think it was a coincidence that the Garden is unlocked only after the ship is fully powered. It re-contextualizes the loneliness. It's not cold and overwhelming, now it serves as a brief moment of respite, of reflection. The feeling still lingers, the loneliness is felt, maybe even a dull sadness, but it doesn't carry the same meaning. The same goes for the Gate. Again, only unlocked properly after powering the ship fully, you revisit and Rosalina is there and talks to you before leaving. It's still lonely, there's still some sadness, but it's almost, comforting on the second return. You play a little game with a red Luma, get a unique power star, and are free to return as you like.

And I did, many times, both as a kid and an adult. This same idea is echoed in Rosalina's story. She leaves her home, wanders the cosmos, buries her old family and finds a new one among the stars. She laughs, she cries, and the entire time, she is still lonely. Even when she's not alone.

The overwhelming loneliness she felt at the loss of her mom and the futility of her search, became a more quiet one. She has a new family, but I'm sure as every Luma becomes something new, a star or a planet or a comet, that same loneliness quietly returns.

This game is something special to me. It showed me that, my loneliness is normal. That it can feel overwhelming and crushing, but that it will get better. You'll find the joy and the excitement, and you'll enjoy life. But, loneliness will still be there, in different forms. You may still feel lonely when you're not alone, it may not be as crushing, it may vanish for quite some time, but it will return. It will still be there.

There are probably many who haven't had my experience, and don't think a Mario game could be that deep. That's fine, and I'm sure I'm giving meaning to parts of the game that weren't meant to have any. That's the great part about experiencing media, it resonates differently for different people. But, I do believe this focus on loneliness was intentional.

The last thing the game shows you for collecting all 121 stars on both Mario and Luigi, is this:

A baby Luma, abandoned on the same planet you started the game on. It was left, all alone. There are more themes to this game that intertwine with this one, loss and cycles being big ones. But, I wanted to talk about my personal experiences with this game that means so much to me, and the loneliness is what I gravitated to.

I don't think we'll ever get another game like this from Nintendo ever again. Not even if they made a Galaxy 3. And that's okay, because I'm sure no matter how much time has passed, I'll feel lonely once again, and visit the Gate all over again.