Making Sense of things

[reshcents]

Dreams 001

Nothing to satiate your inner anger more than a dream where you mercilessly beat the shit out of those who try to ruin your life. "what's with all the noise?" asks my aunt who shouts from downstairs. "Nothing. I'm just making renovations." I shout back. I continue to cave in his spine with feet and fist alike as another family member, (who is nearby witnessing this brutality), grins at my reply to my aunt.

[reshcents]

Making sense of language 02

Demons. This post was brought on by some conversations with people online about the differences in behavior of those who meet vampires compared to those who supposedly meet demons. Also some influence thanks to this song that a buddy sent me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p09lM19FpU .

In the conversations about demons/vampires, it was explained to me that people are appalled when someone tells them that they are a vampire, but no one seems to care about demons anymore. I put “supposedly meet demons” because of this. Meeting of demons hasn’t been told to me but I wrote it that way up above for the sake of continuity. Back to the main point, I was told people react this way when referring to these two beings. If you listened to the youtube link there’s a line in there where they mentioned being treated like a demon. When someone says they’re being treated like a demon it’s understood. 

I had a idea that when someone is being treated like that, it’s because they are not doing what the other party wants, so they’re being poorly treated as a result. fkn sucks donkey dick if you ask me m8. Reminds me of something a parent would do if they felt like their child is being ungrateful. Going back to the talks about vampires/demons, it seems demons just do what they want and vampires try to make peace but are still treated poorly. Personally, I think that’s quite a fucked predicament.

Vampires/mistreated people want to be accepted but get the opposite, yet demons do what they please and no one does anything about it. 

I propose that either the ones trying to fix people who only want to be accepted go after the real ones who are detestable, or the mistreated ones simply become demons themselves.

[reshcents]

Making sense of language 01

Opening notes: I was thinking of most of my comments that I’ve made. When I derp and forgetting to say/do something, which is a noticeable amount, I often open up by simply saying “oh shit.” Being the self-critical person I am, I was wondering if anyone would confront me about it. This thought came to mind when posting in discord mind you.

Main focus: Terms like blasphemy, sacrilege, desecration, and profane. These are things that seem to be synonymous with curse-words. Shit is a curse word. The terms listed above might be something that someone might tell me in order to dissuade me from using the word “shit.” They may or may not say something along the lines of please don’t use profanity, or I’d like it if you didn’t use curse-words around me, something like that.

The reason I bring this up is because those terms are loosely used for things pertaining to sacred things and god ya know. To curse is blasphemous, and, sacrileges. Swearing is socially offensive as well it seems, but why? Is it offensive because some people don’t like it? Not everyone likes the same things. If cursing makes something unsacred, that doesn’t make sense either. what makes some words sacred and others not? What does it even mean for something to be sacred?

[reshcents]

Random rant 02

Fkn hell I’m tilted. Why is a medical website posting incorrect information? The one time I went to go look for info regarding a random thought only to find the the “experts” have false information. I know some of the info is relevant but it upsets me that something not relating is being included. People who don’t know any better will think it’s true.

Now that that’s out the way I’ll explain. I was thinking about an old saying parents would ask their kids after they finished bathing. The whole, “did you wash behind your ears?” It got me thinking, why is that a thing? I figured that it might be because it’s easy to miss. If that’s the case, then how would a parent know if there child didn’t during some of the times when they said they did? I figured it must be the smell right? Parent goes to kiss the child’s now clean face, only to smell that something is off.

I googled why do our ears smell and I got this link: “ https://www.health24.com/Medical/Hearing-management/Ear-disorders/Foul-smelling-ears-possible-causes-20150622 ″

I was reading it and then I noticed they have a video talking about the removal of foreign objects. Within the first couple of seconds, I thought about how person’s ears were dirty and how they’d even manage to get a thumb tack in there and not go deaf. The second person had a pill in there ear. weird right? Then it dawned on me. The many terms like, bronchus, trachea, and bronchoscope. 

Those aren’t things that have to do with your ears, as someone who looks stuff up and has had bronchial pneumonia before, this is inside the lungs. Tacks and pills are more likely to end up in your lungs than your ears.

What makes me upset is that this is a medical website but they captioned the video “ Watch this clip to see how a foreign body is removed from the ear: “

They’re fkn lieing! I’m already crazy paranoid about hospitals, I don’t need nonsense like this to make me more hesitant to go. What kind of misinformation is used to misdiagnose people just to get you caught in the system?

[reshcents]

Making sense of gender 03

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN-wD8O9tRI Just watched this video. It’s explanation is much more concise and articulate than the stuff I’ve been rambling about, as such, It’s probable that I wont be adding anything else to this topic.

[reshcents]

Words of an observer 01

I see and hear things that resonate within me but can not know if they’re genuine. I feel but not enough. I think there is a part of me that is detached but has taken almost all of my emotion with me. In that unknown place I believe most of my creativity and self exists.

There are times where some of it leaks out. Small bouts of inspiration that tells me to bring it into the material world. Sometimes emotion. Sadness escapes mostly, I can enjoy this, since I become aware of a feeling. There are occasions when this becomes despair, but even then, there is some joy.

There is a pleasant feeling when a song has a dialog with what i believe to be a hidden rage. I can only infer this because said songs may be perceived as angry to the fainthearted. I can only describe this as pleasurable intensity. I can think of no better word to describe these songs as intense and I feel so happily entranced by listening.

Sadly, i can not find the route for love to escape. It comes out unpredictably for the undeserving yet those who show me true compassion, I can not believe it if there is a love there I can not believe. Yet I still try to do right by them.

[reshcents]

Thoughts on closet cases 01

I was watching a video that mentioned that some people like the anonymity of porn. The speaker brought this up because he said the ones who care about said anonymity the most are “trad cons who like to call others degenerates, yet behind closed doors, are into the sickest, kinkiest shit imaginable.” He mentioned Ted Haggard when saying that the more vehemently someone protests against something, the chances of them being a closest case about what they complain about skyrocket. There’s a lot of anti-gay people who turn out to be gay themselves, so I believe this can be attributed to many other things.

This got me thinking about something. There are some feminists that say that men are evil and terrible and every other negative name under the sun. There are some MGTOW/PUA who say just about the same about women. If what I spoke about earlier in this post holds true, then does that mean that these same men and women need one another the most? 

[reshcents]

Random rant 01

The topic of this is sleep and “spiritual energy”. Just finished making my schedule for the next two days and I figured I’d head to bed to get the most of it. Shortly after laying down, my roommate and his GF come in. They’re arguing as they come upstairs. I’m glad I have such thin walls. I thought I’d just be able to ignore them but I was so wrong. Their argument’s a bit heated but not obnoxiously loud so I’m unable to figure out why I can not sleep. I figured it might be their negative energy permeating through these crap-tastically thin walls, but who knows. I write this over 2.5 hours after I should’ve been asleep. Hopefully I can rest my eyes before the sun shows. Goodnight to whomever’s reading.

[reshcents]

Making sense of hair 02

Whenever I tried to get my hair style a certain way I often go to family or cosmetologists to do it for me. Due to my limited knowledge, I would leave their places of “practice” with my hair looking the same way I came. I would often get comments like “your hair is to thin” even though earlier that week I’d break my 3rd plastic comb just trying to manage it. My aunt would attempt to braid it for me but would give up and say that it’s thick but not coarse enough to bind together. What’s with that? I decided to make a chart that recreates an image I had in my mind while taking a shower. I guess thinking about these events made me wonder what my hair type is, although after the chart was made I realized I don’t really care what category my hair falls into. Long story short, essentially My hair wasn’t long enough at the time to get anything done.

[reshcents]

Making sense of hair 01

[reshcents]

Making sense of gender 02

Am I the only one who sees the difference between gender, sex, and orientation?

Sex: Chromosomes, that determine your body. Imagine stats in an RPG. Gender: How you behave and superficial appearance. IE: clothing, makeup.  Sexual orientation/Sexuality: What gets the blood pumping in the nether regions, what you’re attracted to. There is no need to conflate them. Just use them appropriately like you would any other adjective/adverb. Use them to describe yourself.

[reshcents]

Making sense of gender 01

Update: When I say sex, I mean biological sex. When I say gender, I mean gender expression. I am in no way shape or form talking about sexual orientation.

I have no expertise when it comes to science, sociology or anything that would "automatically" give my opinion any reputable backing. This is just so I can make sense for myself and to get my contemplations out in the open so I can clear my head. You need not take what's in here seriously if you do not want to. These are just my opinions. In the following I will point out what I believe to be a good argument for how gender should be used. Near the end of this I have some suggestions that would help make non-binary gender pronouns easier to integrate into society.

What if gender is a sub classification for humans. Perhaps they are constructs that were once based on sex because those were the majority options. There are two sexes after all but gender can be another descriptor can it not? One example could be a someone named Shannon. Their first identifier would be the sex female. Their next identifier would be the gender of tomboy. In this example we would know that Shannon does not have the same degree of femininity as someone who's gender is female. I believe this is right. Another example would be an individual named Maurice. Their first identifier would be the sex male. Their second identifier would be the gender of effeminate male. In this example it would be easy to see that Maurice is less masculine than a typical man. With these two examples, we can clearly see that even though there biological appearances match their sexes, their behavior, and superficial appearances give more insight into what these people are like. A gendered tomboy is less feminine than a gendered female, and a gendered effeminate male is less masculine than a gendered male.

Now, I believe what helps make these examples more acceptable than what some would call non-binary is that they make sense. We have a good idea of a typical masculine male and a feminine female. Since we know this, my earlier examples can makes sense to most anyone because we have a baseline. We can see that there is some deviation from a masculine male with Maurice and a feminine female with Shannon but we know they have some similarities to said baseline. I believe the reason non-binaries don't make sense is because we have no way to identify them. We can infer what sex someone is by biological appearance. There is no biological sex for non-binary. If we ignore sex for a moment and just look at gender, it isn't made easy there either. Are non-binary people neither? If so, what is there general behavior and superficial appearance supposed to be? Are they both? If so, how can we tell them apart? It is very hard to not look at things from a root level if we don't understand something at any level above the baseline. I'm not saying that gender doesn't exist, on the contrary, I hope my thoughts expressed thus far show that I'm arguing for the utility of gender.

I believe I've established my opinions on gender, now let's move onto language. If gender is a sub classification of sex, it only makes sense that the way we explain these things follow suit. Hence why we have male and female pronouns. Remember, I believe that gender is a descriptor of sex. Descriptors can vary as to help paint an image in our minds of what they are describing. If non-binary is a gender, would it not make sense for an individual to say that they are a non-binary male or female? Simply saying that they are non-binary without saying which sex is in my opinion, akin to saying I have a red, *silence*. A red hat? A red car? A red cat? What are you describing? Another way to look at it would be an example like this. Let's say we have a non-binary individual named Marly and say for the sake of argument that names have no biological weight, as in, I could tell someone, a third party, about Marly and they wouldn't assume that their sex or gender is male or female. They have no other information other than the name Marly. I tell this third party that Marly is non-binary. What is that supposed to mean to this person. It's rather vague and unclear. Now if I were to tell this person that Marly is a non-binary female, it gives them a clearer picture. Sadly, that's where the example ends since we don't have a clear definition of what a non-binary female is supposed to look and behave like.

Since this is in the same field of discussion I think I'll include my opinions on transsexuals. I imagine some form of grading system. Let's say that based on what I was expressing before that a masculine male is 100% male gender-wise and a feminine female is 100% female gender-wise. That would mean that Maurice would probably be something like 80% male and 20% female, the inverse can be said for Shannon. This is just sticking within my predetermined definitions of gender. If these percentages are grades, we would go with the higher score and say that Shannon's sex is female and Maurice's is male. Their genders influence their behaviors and superficial appearance but their sex is still present, and through observation, their sex is clearly the majority of their behaviors and superficial appearance.

Now, with tests I've taken in school, a 65% is the lowest you can get and still pass. Say for example that Maurice started wearing lots of makeup, walking, talking, behaving, pretty much doing all he can to be a feminine female outside of biological alteration. Many would now call Maurice a cross-dresser, or transvestite, but what would really help that is a gender descriptor. Maurice is a male cross-dresser paints a decent picture does it not? There is a reason I brought up the 65%. Even with all the difference in behavior and the superficial changes, Maurice's gender is still male. I'd say in this example, 65% is male and 35% female.

The reason I left out biological alterations is that this is when things start to shift. Let's say that Shannon has now gone into surgery, and is taking hormones. No matter how anyone looks at Shannon now, they'd say that Shannon's gender is Male, but more specifically a transsexual male. I would say now that Shannon's gender is about 80 to 90% male and the rest female. The reason is because there are things people are born with that they cannot change with today's technology. No matter what Shannon tries, HE will not be able to impregnate a women. Shannon's muscle mass and bone density will always be lesser than that if Shannon's biological sex was male to begin with. The reason I said transsexual and not transgender is because transsexuals make an attempt to alter their biological sex. Going off of what I said early with gender being a descriptor for ones behaviors and superficial appearance, there is no need for the utilization of the word transgender. People can learn to adjust their behavior and superficial appearance. Gender is already transient, so saying transgender is rather redundant.

These are my opinions based on what we currently have to work with in society. There's likely some non-binary individuals that don't agree with this but I have some suggested solutions to help make things more favorable for them. The first things would be to identify the biological sex for non-binary. Going with what I've been saying so far with gender being a descriptor, if a non-binary sex can be identified than it would be easy to incorporate pronouns into language that explain this sex. My other solution in the event that a non-binary sex has not been identified would be to come up with an accurate description of what the non-binary gender is and applying it to either sex. What does a non-binary male or female look and act like?

This whole thing is just me trying to make sense of it all. The videos that feature people who try to explain gender and pronouns don't seem to make much sense to me. It's fine if you don't agree but this is more for myself anyway.

https://www.diffen.com/difference/Transgender_vs_Transsexual