As It Was Breakdown, Part One
Part One of this breakdown is going to address the lyrics, and Part Two will address the video, since I feel it’s important to look at the two separately in order to then understand the bigger picture. I’m using this as a way to keep my literary analysis skills sharp, since I plan on taking my final English class in the fall, and I want to make sure I’m on top of my game. The actual analysis starts under the cut.
Thesis: As It Was is Harry’s way of addressing how he has felt over the course of the pandemic.
Come on, Harry, we wanna say goodnight to you
This opening line was spoken by Harry’s goddaughter. Some have speculated that this is from a voicemail and that the goddaughter was upset that Harry didn’t answer the phone at the time, which raises the question of why Harry wouldn’t have been available to talk. There’s the simple answer that he was too busy to have a conversation over the phone, which would make sense. But what if it represents something else entirely?
The most frequent time fans interact with Harry is at his concerts, which happen at night. If this line is indeed a voicemail from his goddaughter, what if Harry was reminded of that dynamic when he heard the message? After all, the fans are desperate for his attention, and his concerts can be a way for he and his fans to say goodnight to each other, since outside of chance meetings there isn’t a whole lot of opportunity for Harry and his fans to talk to each other, and the fans mean just as much to Harry as Harry does to his fans.
Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back
The phrase “the gravity of the situation” is generally used to denote something heavy, somber, and/or serious occurring in a person’s life. If there is anything in this world that has been heavy, somber, and serious, it would be the pandemic. Harry was initially scheduled to go on tour in 2020, but then the pandemic hit, and he, along with everyone else, was forced to cancel his plans. So, to summarize, the magnitude of the pandemic held Harry back from doing what he loves: performing on stage and interacting with his fans.
I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that?
There’s a part of Harry that wants and desires the adoration of his fans, perhaps to help him feel better about himself (not necessarily in an egotistical way, but in an “I’m insecure and being praised on my way boosts my self-confidence” kind of way). However, sometimes wanting to be praised for your actions can come across to people as being full of yourself rather than wanting validation to use to help you like yourself, and so Harry might feel like it’s pointless to go into that explanation due to his celebrity status and the backlash celebrities have gotten over the course of the pandemic.
Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way
Even to this day, news of the pandemic has been at the front of what the media reports on. After a while, there’s nothing new to talk about, because people are still getting sick and being hospitalized and dying from the virus, and others are wanting everyone to get every booster that comes out on the market, and still others believe the whole thing is a conspiracy made up by the government, and it gets exhausting to hear the same things over and over and over again. So, people like Harry would rather stay silent instead of adding on to the empty noise.
Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh
Throughout the pandemic, Harry has done tons of things that don’t involve music. He’s starring in two movies and did a cameo for a third (The Eternals), and he’s launched his own beauty line. Both his acting and beauty career have garnered tons of attention from all kinds of people outside of his music world. Perhaps he kept busy with these ventures as a way to fill the hole that not being able to perform left, but he’s learned that no matter what he does, the feelings that he has towards his core fanbase (Harries) will not and cannot go away. However, due to his rise in fame over the course of the pandemic (as well as the pandemic itself), the relationship between Harry and his core fanbase has become a bit distant, and this distance is unfortunately inevitable as more and more people get introduced to Harry and like what he does, whether it’s his acting, his beauty line, his singing, his looks, or something else entirely. In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was
Perhaps in Harry’s ideal world (the one he has in his head), he would just have himself and his fans interact as much as possible. However, due to the pandemic and the ventures he has persued over the course of the last couple years, he can no longer be the (relatively) small artist that he was when he released his first solo album; he now has to embrace the superstar status, which means having to distance himself from his core fanbase in order to keep his momentum going and thus everyone satisfied. Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"
People have taken these lyrics to mean something literal, i.e., someone actually calling Harry and telling him these things on the phone, which sort of makes sense with the idea of the first line of the song being a voicemail from his goddaughter, but if that is the case, then whoever Harry was talking to when those lines were said does not seem like a very nice person. Perhaps the person didn’t mean to sound so harsh and was only making sure Harry was alright, but still. Not exactly the most comforting thing to say.
This leads to the idea that the phone and the consequent conversation isn’t a literal thing that is happening between Harry and another person, but rather the phone is a symbol for how Harry has been forced to confront himself since the pandemic started and everyone initially had to keep to themselves. After all, we are our own worst critic. There could be a voice in Harry’s head telling him:
That he has historically not done well with being alone with his thoughts without putting himself down and making him feel bad about himself and that there is no possible way that that’s going to change just because a “little” pandemic is forcing everyone to isolate, so why should he start improving himself now?
That he should be doing something productive with all the sudden free time he has received as a result of the pandemic halting most activities instead of sitting on his butt, watching TV and eating bread all day.
That he cannot be remotely functional without some kind of medication/drug (antidepressants, for example).
These statements may seem contradictory, but often the negative voices in our head don’t make a whole lot of sense. Because of how mean they can be, however, we take what those voices say to be the truth. Perhaps throughout the last couple of years, Harry has learned to not listen to the negative thoughts in his head as much as he used to because he’s finally been able to confront them and dissect them and tear them down to their roots.
Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help
Kinda in line with the last chunk of lyrics, Harry has to be the one to ultimately confront his negative and change how he reacts to them. He has mentioned seeing a therapist in the past, which can help provide the tools necessary to go on that kind of mental journey, but ultimately it’s Harry’s decision and his decision alone to take the steps necessary to think more positively (or at least more neutrally) about himself.
Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh
There’s a little blurb on Genuis that mentions how this line is literal, since his biological dad has not pursued another marriage since he divorced his mom, and you know what? I buy it. People have been reevaluating what’s important to them over the course of the pandemic, and perhaps Harry’s father wants to be closer to his son. Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet
While Harry has been busy with different aspects of his job throughout this pandemic (and his time in the spotlight), he seems to make sure that he’s always connected to his family and the friends he cares about deeply. So, I can imagine that there were a lot of Zoom/Facetime calls that Harry was on when he was stuck in America while his family/friends were in the UK, and having light-speed internet is important in making sure those calls happen without too many hitches.
I don't wanna talk about the way that it was
While there were things before the pandemic that were nice, there were also some things that weren’t so great. Sure, Harry was able to make music and go on tour and see and interact with his fans, but perhaps there was a part of him that wanted a little break to see what else he was capable of, and when the pandemic hit, he finally had the opportunity to pursue projects that he might not have otherwise. He might be a bit tired at the moment from doing it all, but he also seems satisfied with the way his life is going right now, so who knows?
Leave America, two kids follow her
The contentious line. Some think that this is referencing Olivia. Anti-Olivia people think that Harry is once again referring to himself and his parents’ divorce. Allow me to introduce a third option with a reference: Lil Nas X.
Part of Lil Nas X’s promotion for his debut album was pretending to be pregnant and giving birth to his album. He certainly isn’t the first to associate albums with kids; lots of online fans make that association all the time with all kinds of musicians, Harry being one of them. In a couple months, Harry will be leaving America to go on his international leg of Love On Tour. His third album will be out before then, and yet Love On Tour was created to promote his second album. Thus, both Fine Line and Harry’s House will be following Harry as he finishes Love On Tour.
For those that are pointing out that it says “her” and not “him”, I want you to remember that Harry’s friends have referred to him as “Sue” in the past, and so it wouldn’t surprise me if Harry used “her” to make a cheeky little nod to those friends.
I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first
A common complant that people have with Harry is that other people have done what he’s doing before he did and that the people in the past are doing it better than Harry. This is mainly regarding his fashion, and the people that get name-dropped include David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, and Elton John. Perhaps this lyric is Harry’s way of telling the complainers that they shouldn’t care about who wore “feminine” clothing first, because that’s not the point of the conversation. The point of the conversation about fashion and gender is that the conversation is happening at all. While it’s important to acknowledge the history of the conversation, it’s just as important to keep that conversation going, and I feel like Harry himself has done a good job of nodding to the past while creating his own future.
And that, everyone, is the end of Part One of my As It Was analysis.
