pear-shaped beauty tasha flunchen

rachel ♥ thirty-two ♥ ohio my pussy hair used to be bright gold in high school before i went out and scorched it with the football team

[glubby]

i would like a hug…. JUST KIDDING! i would like TWO hugs. (suddenly becomes cold and standoffish) i don’t need anything or anyone and i don’t want to talk about it.

[dankxsinatra]

[kingfucko]

i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck

[freakytikigifs]

Dev Patel as Darcy Davenport RABBIT TRAP

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

[achillesinhighheels]

[subaru-copilot]

it gets to a point that is just weirder if they didn't fuck

[subaru-copilot]

you did all this and it was not even because you wanted to bang him? weirdo

[resetme]

When I was expecting with you, I thought you'd save me. I thought you'd love me, and then my mother would love me. Even from the beginning, you disobeyed. Wouldn't eat, like you were punishing me for being born. You made me feel like a fool, like a child. And now you come back here and all I can think is… (What? What, Mama?) You smell ripe.

SHARP OBJECTS (2018) 🦷 dir. Jean-Marc Vallée

[cognitohazardous]

no one is stupid in quite the same way as a tumblr user

[anh3-donia]

insane goodwill pickup

[necrophilologist]

So There's This Open Wound At The Heart Of The Text

[returntohorrorhigh]

My Midwestern accent almost failed me today. I had to email a credit card authorization form to a business that had the word “winner” in it and he kept telling me the name over the phone but I kept interpreting it as “winter” because we don’t often pronounce the ‘t’ here lol so I ended up googling the business to make sure it was right and I was wrong it was indeed winner

[orthoscheme]

these brownies seem a little strong

[orthoscheme]

well if i have any complaints i can just call potassium about it but im too meek so i wont

[returntohorrorhigh]

Tangentially related but there is this weird wave of people that literally cannot stand the idea of conflict in stories. Like they act as if having a character cheat in a movie and still having to root for them is akin to masturbating watching a fucking snuff film and if you in any way engage with a story that has characters behaving badly that means you condone that behavior instead of it y’know… being fiction. Like stories HAVE to have some sort of conflict or argument in order to kick off the plot, you can’t just have a bunch of characters sitting around a table smiling at each other and talking about how wonderful and morally correct everyone is for two hours. Jfc even Hallmark movies have to have some sort of disagreement or call to action because a story literally cannot be 100% schmaltz. Even fucking VEGGIETALES has to have conflict or there’s no lesson to learn. I’m not saying everyone in the world has to like complex dramas or horror movies but stories have to actually… have a story to tell. Even if the conflict is just mundane shit like what flowers to have for a wedding, stories cannot be just everyone agreeing over everything all the time

[improbablecarny]

people who don’t watch horror movies are SO confident that they know everything there is to know about the genre. like it’s okay to not know things. it’s okay if you don’t like friday the 13th or whatever. i promise you don’t need to make an ass out of yourself on the internet about it

[improbablecarny]

horror is an incredibly diverse genre, because there is potential horror in everything. it’s in nature, it’s in architecture and technology, it’s in human relationships, it’s in folklore, the past, the future, the mundane. there are horror movies from all over the world. it is straight up anti-intellectual to pretend that the handful of B slashers you’ve vaguely heard about comprise the totality of what horror has to offer. If you’re just not interested in horror, or if you dislike certain subgenres of horror, then that’s fine, you’re not obligated to like anything at all. but smugly announcing that you don’t like horror because you dislike a handful of VERY specific non-universal tropes is just as stupid as saying that you hate comedy because you don’t like adam sandler movies.

[improbablecarny]

this is what I mean by anti-intellectualism btw

[monsterfucker69420]

I wasn’t built to be employed. I need to stay up until 4 am like a normal person

[energyprison]

Im sorry i know its bad to post screenshots of ads but unemployedprofessors.com is really getting me