Hi, tumblr. Long time no write about my life-story specifically. I remember how i used to write about my love-life here, -but mostly about the sad ones- since I was in senior high school until I graduated and no more sad love-life story (alhamdulillah).Â
But itâs not about the love story that I wanted to tell you. You know, beside the fact that I dont wanna share my unhappy-love-story to social media again (dan alhamdulillah iâm so happy with my current partner meskipun pasti ada pro-kontra dan diskusi di antara kami), what I feel now is, my life now is not only about love; like, no more I was so hopeless romantic back then and one of my biggest question was âwho is my one and only?â and I just realized that it was because I got all I wanted (except that love-story thing).Â
God was so good to me, of course He was and He is and He will always be. But serious guys, He always gave me what I wanted. I lived in Papua about 18 years ago and I lived there for 4 years, and I dreamed about moving to a big lovely city. And He gave my father âmutasiâ to Bandung several days after my 8th birthday (after won a Soekarno Quiz and got a 21 inches TV exactly in my birthday). Long short story, I moved to Bandung, I saw many things that I couldnt see in Papua, like as simple as KFC (there was no KFC when I was in Papua) and big chance to grow my hobbies. Alhamdulillah, I studied in favorite schools in town, got my rank and went to one of best university in Indonesia. Beside that, I have career there, I used to sing everywhere and I was so happy to do that. Beside, I got paid by singing so I started to buy things with my own money since I was in Junior High School. And lately before I graduated from college, I grew my piesusu business and gained money from that and I was so happy because I was so productive and I felt so blessed. I got so many good things there, and the best thing that I got from my Bandung-life is: I got my life. I got my friends, like not just ordinary friends, and I got many, not just one. Bandung really the best gift He has given to me and He let me to feel the love of Bandung for 13 years. Through Bandung, He also gave my things that made me feel alive: good education, knowledge, lessons, career, friends, and also love.
Long short story, I have to go back to my hometown, Yogyakarta, a town where I was born 22 years ago, where almost all of my big family from my Mom live here, a place that is not too far from Cilacap where almost all of my big family from my Dad live, a place where my parents want to share their old life in.Â
You wont understand how my parents really love me until they dont want to separate from me before mu future-husband take me with him. And Iâm a kind of family girl who loves my parents too and I believe that my parentsâ approval is Godâs approval too, so here I am now living in Jogja.Â
Itâs kinda hard for me to leave Bandung. And I admit it. Iâm too in love with Bandung, and I often feel empty here. I have so little friends here. Maybe itâs not more than 20 persons, like really. I dont feel the good weather as good as Bandung. I have to find my âstageâ here so I can fill my free time by doing my favorite thing. I have to find market to sell my piesusu. Yes, I have to start everything from zero.
Again, long short story, I got a job as a banker in Solo, but I quit because I felt wrong. I decided to quit and back to my field. But first, I wanted to continue my study to postgraduate programme in one of favorite university in Indonesia, in Yogyakarta. So to achieve that, I have to find scholarship because I dont want my parents to pay for my studies. And I did what I could do to get scholarship.
Oh, I forgot to tell you that I was jobless for 2 months after resigned from the bank (thank God there was Q Academy so I could fill my time with experiencing new things in the thing that I really love) before I got a job as an assistant Urban Planner in a development consultant in Jogja at the 1st of August.Â
Okay. Back to my plan to reach my master degree. And you know what? I rejected by 2 scholarship, Kemendikbud and LPDP scholarship. I was at the lowest point in my life, I cried, a lot. That was the day when I realized that I never mourn my life before (of course except my love-life, as I told you before). That day, I mourn my life.Â
God knows that I always do whatever I can do to make Him love me even more day by day. He knows I love Him and I want Him to love me back.Â
But still, I failed. I failed to get the way to get my opportunity back. I thought that I can get friends, links, markets, âstagesâ, and everything that I need by being a postgraduate programme here, immediately. Of course I also think that I need to continue my study because I also have a dream to be a good khalifah in Dunya, as an Urban Planner.Â
Yes, I failed and now I have to try harder to achieve that.Â
I failed my scholarship so I have to try harder to get friends, link, markets, âstagesâ, and everything that I need in my life.
In the end, the lesson that I learnt from my story is: IKHLAS.
My Mom once said right after I cried to her because of the rejection from LPDP.
âMakanya, Adek ikhlas hidup di Jogja. Adek selama ini masih Bandung, Bandung, Bandung terus di pikirannya. Adek kan memang selama ini di Bandung selalu dapet apa yang Adek mau kan, karena Adek seneng di sana. Coba di sini juga gitu, ikhlas, seneng.â
Ikhlas will always be a thing that I will never stop to learn.Â
And I will try my best, to live happy here.
But I wont erase Bandung in my memory, I save it and I converted it became one of my dream.
There, the town where I want to spend the rest of my life with my future little family :)