Brendonās back is pressed against my chest, and heās breathing evenly in his sleep. Weāre sharing a pillow, and my arm is resting under it while the other has curled around his chest. Heās warm and soft and alive, like he is the centre of it all, thatās what it feels like when I feel the thud of his heart against my fingertips. His arm rests over mine, and Iāve never felt as relaxed in my life. My nose brushes against his hair, and his hair smells like sex, and I donāt really know how we managed that last night.
This is what itād be like.
[ā¦]
Weāve never done this before. Weāve slept in beds, taken post-coital naps, shared a bed through the night a few times, but Iāve never woken up to find him asleep in my arms, to find myself holding him as close to me as I can. To wake up to a feeling of unity, of being a part of something bigger, something I canāt quite figure out but can still name.
Iāve never done this before in my life.
Itās him. Yeah, that sounds about right. That sounds like something heād manage to do.
He stirs, and I nuzzle the spot behind his ear that he loves getting kissed. He hums, sounding pleased, and he turns to lie on his back. Heās got a lazy smile on his lips, his eyes half parted. He looks sleepy and has bed hair, and I study every detail as my hand moves to trace the features of his face, my fingertips moving on his cheek. His lips part, and heās about to say something, but I press my forefinger against his soft lips, silencing him. His eyes flutter open, revealing dark brown irises, and he looks at me questioningly.
I let my finger slide to his jaw, and my hand settles on the side of his neck. āI love you.ā
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