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[seaphine]

i highly recommend finding yourself a clingy (healthy) lovey dovey partner who's always super excited about you. life is too short to spend it with someone who acts like showing love is a chore.

[richerandmorepossible]

Once heard someone say imagine what lesson it teaches you to have the person you care about act like you wanting to spend time with them is a bother. And I think that 100% applies here too, what is it teaching you to be in an environment where the feedback you're getting is that showing you love is something heavy. People often wonder why perfectly lovely people stay in bad relationships, it's because when you're tuned into youareachore.fm radio 24/7, gradually you start to make yourself smaller, trim yourself into a shape you hope would be less heavy for them to carry. When the truth is you were never asking for too much. You were asking the wrong person.

[puttingherinhistory]

Everyone has the potential to fall victim to being indoctrinated into a cult. Anyone can be sexually assaulted. Anyone can become a victim of an abusive relationship. Yes, even if you're intelligent and strong willed. Yes, even if you think you're tough and "don't take shit from anyone".

If you've never found yourself as the victim of a cult, or sexual assault, or abuse, the only thing separating you from people who have been victimized by cults / sexual assault / abuse is circumstance. That's it. Sheer luck. Luck over what family you were born into. Luck over who you were surrounded by when you were emotionally compromised or in any way vulnerable. Ect.

You are not better than people who have been victimized. They didn't do anything wrong to ask to be victimized. Anyone can be victimized by these situations given the perfect storm of circumstances. You are not better than people who have been victimized by cults / sexual assault / abuse.

You need to understand that if you are lucky enough to have never been victimized by cults / sexual assault / abuse, it's very little to do with how smart or strong you are or you doing all the "right" things. Someone can be smart and strong and do all the right things and still find themselves a victim given the perfect storm of bad circumstances.

The sooner this can be understood, the sooner we can do away with victim blaming culture. And the sooner we can do away with victim blaming culture the sooner atrocities like cults, sexual assault, and abuse can stop being so prolific. Victim blaming culture allows these atrocities to thrive. And they will continue to thrive until we shift the blame to where it rightfully belongs.

[stuckinapril]

[draconym]

It's nuts how common it is to not allow children to be angry, even (especially) in households where adults are angry all the time. As a child I knew my own anger was unacceptable--not just expressing it outwardly but feeling it at all. So now as an adult my immediate reaction to my own anger is often to feel guilt instead of like. Noticing when someone is being rude or unfair or my boundaries are being violated or whatever. fucked up.

[pnglove]

[richerandmorepossible]

"Many of us might use the word love to describe the kind of devotion spiders feel for flies. Spiders genuinely love flies (the way they taste, the way they crunch). They express that love by wrapping up any fly they can catch and keeping it close, slurping out its life force bit by bit. I’ve had many clients whose parents, friends, or lovers treated them this way. I call it “spider love,” though of course it’s really not love at all; it’s a predator-prey relationship."

- Martha Beck, The Way of Integrity: Finding the path to your true self

[selfcarereminder]

the version of you from five years ago would be genuinely amazed by what you’ve handled since then. sit with that for a second

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

no one is coming to save yo- wrong!! everyone who has ever shown you love and/or care is saving you a little bit.

[richerandmorepossible]

no one is comi - wrong!! someone always comes! the uber driver came to take me to my new apartment. my kindergarten teachers came to teach me how to count and read. all the people who researched, wrote and edited my favourite books came to share a new way of thinking about the world. enough of this individualist bullshit, someone always comes. fred rogers was right, we were all loved into being. someone always comes.

[anarchistmemedistro]

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

it’s going to be okay but it is also going to be different

[newlyy]

Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.

[desescrita]

“Plants and animals don’t fight the winter; they don’t pretend it’s not happening and attempt to carry on living the same lives that they lived in the summer. They prepare. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through. Winter is a time of withdrawing from the world, maximising scant resources, carrying out acts of brutal efficiency and vanishing from sight; but that’s where the transformation occurs. Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but its crucible.”

— Katherine May, Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

[stillnaomi]

using violence to liberate people from sweatshops, unsafe mines, and grinding poverty isn't the same as using violence to impose those things on people. the idea that violence is morally repugnant regardless of context is a belief that every oppressor throughout history would love for the oppressed to hold

[glowcowboy]

we’re gonna be ok btw

[glowcowboy]

it’s ok if you’re scared. or tired. or unsure. or one million billion other complicated emotions at once. but i’ve decided things are going to be ok anyway. and i will hold that belief close to my heart no matter how scared or tired or lonely or depressed or one million billion other things i am. i will hold onto that. and if you’re scared, you can hold onto me. we can carry each other through

[javarisx-fightingthosedemons]

[classiclife]

[remanence-of-love]