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[wetheurban]

May you heal so deeply that you remember what it feels like to be excited about your future, your creativity, and your life.

[kaikartel]

you are worthy of relationships that are reciprocal, considerate and intentional. and that isn’t limited to romantic love

[richerandmorepossible]

and respectfully. you're allowed to say fuck gratitude. maybe you're grateful to have known someone for decades and have a shared history. and. maybe that same person also makes you feel like an afterthought sometimes. the times in my life i've accepted relationships that weren't reciprocal, considerate, intentional were when i was too busy being grateful for the bare minimum.

[tiktoksformyfriends]

[lastoneout]

"I am not a vessel for your good intent" goes hard as a line from a disabled perspective. Abled people care so much more about being their idea of a good ally than they do actually being a good ally. They shove their good intent right down your throat and then act surprised when you tell them they're suffocating you.

[lastoneout]

[faggotvampires]

[ID: An image of a sign with a blue background and with a graphic of a stick figure in a wheelchair at the beginning, resembling disabled parking space signs. The text below the stick figure reads "I am not a vessel for your good intent." /ID]

[ingridverse]

"God never gives you more than you can handle" is survivorship bias. People who got more than they could handle are dead.

[stufflikethathere]

I’m only 28 and it feels a million times better than 23. I can’t wait to see what 30 feels like. Becoming an older woman is filled with internal validation, an inner calm, a recognition of patterns. I am not perfect but I accept myself despite it.

[richerandmorepossible]

at 28 i started a PhD program in a field i had virtually NO background in, spent the whole time having the opposite of imposter syndrome gleefully wondering how the heck i got in and delighted that there was nothing anyone could do to make me to leave. won 2 (!!) awards and funding to research whatever i wanted outside of the PhD! started dating! did improv! went to some really cool free cooking classes. now i'm finishing that PhD and i've ended several friendships where i wasn't being cherished. growing up poor with low self-esteem meant that i could never have imagined this being my life in a million years. all this to say. 28 can't wait for you to get here.

[bishopsprodigal]

thinking about this

[richerandmorepossible]

"Life is beautiful. Some people just remind you of that more than others."

- The School of Essential Ingredients by Erica Bauermeister

once read somewhere that a true friend is someone who makes you want to live and now, much older, i can say this is by far the most important criteria for who to surround yourself with.

[mournfulroses]

Chen Chen, from a poem titled "Elegy for My Sadness," featured in When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

[perfectfeelings]

“Be careful who you make memories with. Those things can last a lifetime.”

— Ugo Eze

[teaboot]

On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.

[richerandmorepossible]

i had a dear friend who said he doesn't like to tell others what's wrong when he's going through something, he'd rather just figure it out himself (by going into isolation mode). that friendship didn't last. because THINK of what message it sends. i don't want friends who see me as something heavy that they cut off when life starts dragging them down. i want friends who think of me as a resource, a lifeline, a warm laugh on the phone even when i don't have the answer.

[stuckinapril]

Literally cannot believe I was ever scared of getting older like this is awesome. Learning so many new things about myself & reacting to things that used to get under my skin so differently. This is so sexy.

[free-my-mindd]

[werenotreallystrangers]

a lot of your suffering comes from treating your nature like a problem to manage instead of a design to understand

[richerandmorepossible]

consider!! what if there's nothing wrong with you? what if your job on this earth isn't to fix yourself but to understand yourself and design a life based on that understanding?

[indouscurse]

you have to consciously unlearn racism and continue to watch for it because it will come out without realizing. because so much of society is structured around it. shrugging and going "i dont care" or "i dont know how else to say it" means you are okay with being racist and hurting other people with how much you dont give a shit about them.

[seaphine]

i highly recommend finding yourself a clingy (healthy) lovey dovey partner who's always super excited about you. life is too short to spend it with someone who acts like showing love is a chore.

[richerandmorepossible]

Once heard someone say imagine what lesson it teaches you to have the person you care about act like you wanting to spend time with them is a bother. And I think that 100% applies here too, what is it teaching you to be in an environment where the feedback you're getting is that showing you love is something heavy. People often wonder why perfectly lovely people stay in bad relationships, it's because when you're tuned into youareachore.fm radio 24/7, gradually you start to make yourself smaller, trim yourself into a shape you hope would be less heavy for them to carry. When the truth is you were never asking for too much. You were asking the wrong person.

[puttingherinhistory]

Everyone has the potential to fall victim to being indoctrinated into a cult. Anyone can be sexually assaulted. Anyone can become a victim of an abusive relationship. Yes, even if you're intelligent and strong willed. Yes, even if you think you're tough and "don't take shit from anyone".

If you've never found yourself as the victim of a cult, or sexual assault, or abuse, the only thing separating you from people who have been victimized by cults / sexual assault / abuse is circumstance. That's it. Sheer luck. Luck over what family you were born into. Luck over who you were surrounded by when you were emotionally compromised or in any way vulnerable. Ect.

You are not better than people who have been victimized. They didn't do anything wrong to ask to be victimized. Anyone can be victimized by these situations given the perfect storm of circumstances. You are not better than people who have been victimized by cults / sexual assault / abuse.

You need to understand that if you are lucky enough to have never been victimized by cults / sexual assault / abuse, it's very little to do with how smart or strong you are or you doing all the "right" things. Someone can be smart and strong and do all the right things and still find themselves a victim given the perfect storm of bad circumstances.

The sooner this can be understood, the sooner we can do away with victim blaming culture. And the sooner we can do away with victim blaming culture the sooner atrocities like cults, sexual assault, and abuse can stop being so prolific. Victim blaming culture allows these atrocities to thrive. And they will continue to thrive until we shift the blame to where it rightfully belongs.