girl almighty

syd, 20

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

doctors and all other medical specialists during check-ups: "hmmm well it seems like nothing is wrong with you, you say you are having pain? idk take some tylonel and sleep it off i guess, you will probably live"

dentists: "your teeth are yellow as shit and your gums are unhealthy, you only brush twice a day when you should be doing it 4 times an HOUR, WHY don't you floss. i see darkness in your future and the darkness represents cavities, you've got diseases we haven't even seen before, all your shit is fucked up my guy, even your jawline sucks and i don't even test for that, absolutely pathetic. don't show your face here again"

[mistermaxwellboucherdieasilived]

“even fate picks its favorites” is such a raw fucking line so it’s no surprise that it comes from the cinematic masterpiece Megamind (2010)

[dinuguan]

[lickboo]

2010 // 2020

[theweirdwideweb]

[ntuples-deactivated20210614]

I know this is a typo but this is so Fucking comical it's poetic

[vrabia]

[furbearingbrick]

fJWLFWHWFHFHhfjkhkhhah

[22yrzs]

[mulp--plum]

Imagine you go over a friend house and for a minute they just do this.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

my last two brain cells in self-isolation

[dankmemeuniversity]

[colormp]

[benepla-deactivated20200506]

i hate airpods dude id rather be broke than have two lil tiny things to keep track of. “oh there’s like a carrier” muh muh muh like i’ll remember the carrier when im barreling out of my door with the bus coming in 2 minutes. an airpod falls out and falls into a storm drain. i fling my head around to watch it fall and the other one flies out into the street and my bus crushes it. i scream in agony and run up to it and the bus just barrels straight over me bc bus drivers in chicago have 3 kill allowances a year

[valtsv]

me when the thing i'm creating doesn't turn out looking exactly like how i imagined it in my head

[oblivonion]

[moonstone-reverie]

Me: Alright I’m going to be super productive tomorrow!

Me, the second my alarm goes off:

[ngalitzine]

So, uh, happy birthday, Detective.

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

humans not hibernating is a major flaw as a species