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[ridickuling-blog]

DickChat

Random Dick: Hey

ME: Hey

Random Dick: Yes

Me: ?

Me: You texted me

Random Dick: Yes

ME: ...

Random Dick: Do you work?

Me: When?

Random Dick: Now

ME: I never work "now" You need to schedule an hour up front.

Random Dick: In *says name of city where I work*?

Me: Yes

Random Dude: What is your price?

ME: *gives him the price details*

[NEXT DAY]

Random Dude: Hey x

Me: Hi! What's up?

ME: You really need to come up with more then just "Hey"!

Random Dude: Can you? (as in am I available)

Me: When?

Random Dude: Now

*FACEPALM*

[ridickuling-blog]

DickCall @ 23:40

Me: Hey, it's better now via SMS or WhatsApp

Random Dick: Your name was

Random Dick: Please

Me: You called me and you don't know? That's weird!

Random Dick: Yeah well the whole time I've been looking for a date.

Random Dick: My name is Dick

Random Dick: Do you still work?

Me: What kind of date?

Random Dick: Just sex

*FACEPALM*

Me: Read the advertisement next time.

[ridickuling-blog]

DickText @ 01:53

Random Dick: Good night. I have a strange request that I hope will not deter you. I'm looking for a mom who gives some breast milk. Could you help me with this? Thanks in advance.

[ridickuling-blog]

I’m a masseuse

Not in the mood for a long introduction. I might do that later on.

It’s just a detail you might want to know when reading my other posts.

I advertise with giving erotic massages (like body to body and prostate specifically). In my advertisements I make pretty clear what the possibilities are, what my prices are and what my schedule is.

But there are just too many rude, dumb, selfish dicks out there who don’t care and don’t read. If you don’t inform yourself before contacting me you’re in for a real treat... especially when you wake me up.

Anyway, sometimes (even during the day) some of these text are just ridiculous, creepy or just rude. And I’d like to share some of them.