we're all connected

19.

[riftenn]

i hate you just as much as i hate myself

[riftenn]

if i don't kill myself then im going to kill someone

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therapy is not working for me

i have an intrusive urge to inflict harm on others randomly

i see things that are not there

it's not serious enough for the crisis line

[riftenn]

i think i am ready to make new friends

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i don't think i ever had a body to begin with

i don't feel real but i am real and existing

but this is not me

i know who i am and this is not me

[riftenn]

why do people leave

[riftenn]

i can barely differentiate between nightmares/dreams and reality, why do i see things that aren't there ?

it's very scary, sometimes i feel like im not in my body. the days are fading away for me. more time sleeping and less time doing things i enjoy. swapping out anything that takes effort with something that is minimal effort.

im stuck in the same place, all the time while people are constantly evolving and changing around me. do i need to change anything about myself ?

pain isn't really pain anymore. i've become so numb to the concept of feeling anything. but i still express my emotions even if it doesn't take weight off my shoulders.

walking in the same circle all the time is comfortable. i know what's happening next. someone is going to interrupt my circle, put a line straight through it. how will i function then ? i hope that day doesn't come

[riftenn]

are souls always transmissions of light ?

does that mean every living thing has a soul since energy cannot be created or destroyed. or is it just something that we made up to find inner peace within ourselves ?

does your consciousness really stop when you die ? or does it transfer into something else. something else that we'd never know ?

[riftenn]

[riftenn]

my comeback? or not idfk

[riftenn]

i don't feel connected to my friends anymore

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everything tastes like metal

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the more i go to school, the more uncomfortable i am. i can't wait to leave, this is a pain.

[riftenn]

most of the time i don't want to wake up

[riftenn]

paranoia is never good

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today I felt so uncomfortable i hate when ppl joke abt suicide like idk if im being snowflake but that hurts

[riftenn]

nothing is real btw haha if any of u saw this no u didn't. life is just a simulation nd we are all sims being controlled by aliens..don't listen to me