Hello this is Bambam! Yehee Yehee ~
Ah, what should I say here? It must be awkward to say confession like this – and hell it is! But since Ahgases want to hear it, okay. I’ll do it. Heuheuheu~
My confession right now.. I’m going to confess to someone that I know since a long time ago.
He is.. He is a pokerface guy. Really. You should believe me that he is. He doesn’t talk too much, but it doesn’t mean he doesnt know about anything. His eyes must be looking at somewhere else, but his ears keep listening at something. He doesn’t like to do much, but it doesn’t mean... He’ll let you down.
And that is something makes him look special. He is a brother, big brother that people adore much and I adore so much. He is.. Mark Tuan.
Yes, Mark hyung! I don’t know why but I love being around with him. Like I never want to do bad thing if I’m with him. Around him – I always want to be a good guy and always want to be myself.
I had so much hard time in here before. Far from my family was the most hard thing ever before. On my hard time, family supposed to be here and support me. But what should I do? My family so far far away. But then, I found Mark hyung.
I know it must be hard for Mark hyung too since he is far from his family too. His family more far than my family! But, he looked so fine. He enjoyed everyday everyminute and everysecond in his life and it made me like “This guy is weird”
And there was time I feel so down. Like I want to give up, and end everything then go back to Thailand. Then, Mark hyung was here – so I told him about my hard time. No, he didnt do much or scolded me. He just looked at me with his smile and said, “Is it?”
You guys must be wondering “The fuck that mark tuan only said ‘is it’!” haha. But listen the next words that he said to me.
“Is your ability just this? After everything you passed, you want to quit because of this? What about your mom? She expected so much from you. Don’t you wanna to payback?” He said it with straight face!
And ah – damn. It just one sentence, but it slapped me right on my face. Like – damn, he was right I shouldnt quit.
Since then, I always told Mark hyung whenever I have a hard time and he always liten to my story. He didnt talk much, really – I was the only one who talk much lolol. But it felt comfortable to talk with him. Even if its a midnight, he will force himself to stay awake to listen to you.
I lost my dad since I was a kid. I didnt know how it feels like to have a dad. Like I didn’t know. I always wondering how it feels like to get praised by your dad like ‘You make me proud, son’ . I always want to hear it, but I know I wont be able. I really miss him, And it makes me feel so lonely. I miss him, I miss and I want to feel how to have a dad like.
And then, I always saw Mark hyung facetime-ing or skype-ing with his family especially with Papa. Whenever he talked with Papa and I was there, he always dragged me and talked about me to Papa – just like a bigbrother who report how his litle brother doing to his dad.
When I did something good, Mark hyung gonna praised me with “Good work good work” then he told Papa, and Papa sent me message like “Bambam, you make me proud. Good job” and I just – ah, so this is how it feels like to have a dad?
Then Mark hyung said, that I’m Papa Tuan’s son too because I’m his brother. His litle brother. and we’re family.
I feel so thankful to meet with Mark hyung. He always take care of me, eventhough he always mean to me but when we’re alone he such a good brother. He always said that he is my brother, whenever I did something wrong he always poked myself and said “ssh...”
I always do something stupid, like whatever I say whatever I did that’s stupid haha everybody know it and sometimes Mark hyung always accompany me to do something stupid. He let himself to do something stupid with me. Everybody know he is a cool guy, why even he do that? Is he did that for my sake? He never get mad to me whenever I made a jokes about him, even when I drew something on his face, he didnt mad! So I was think does he pure stupid or he only did this for my sake?
Okay I dont know what to say anymore.. last, message for mark hyung.
Mark hyung, thank you so much for being a good brother for me. Thank you for your care to me, and thank you for every support that you gave to me. You always said I can do it when everyone in this world said that I couldn’t. Time passed so fast, I still can’t believe we made it together. Back then, we’re just two stupid boys who quitted school because we were too tired for it. Now, we are here. I’m glad you are here with me, because you always be my reminder whenever I did something wrong or stupid. You teached me so much thing, you even let me to feel how to have a dad is.. I’m not smart as Joey, but you always support me to be. And you always make me to be a good one.
You always let yourself to do something stupid with me, and listen to everystupid words from me. Thank you for always being here whenever I feel alone, and never let me down alone. I hope we can do this together for a long time. Thank you my brother