Rina Speaks

,m ,m

[rinanaaa]

Poetry 1.4 “Clutch”

Clutch

If you can steer us in the right direction I'll take us to the intersection of Love and Affection. And in the reflection of your rear view, you'll see a woman who's real and true. Cause I have value like the 3 series of a BMW. I can spark your plugs, shower you with hugs, & give you some boost for that engine. So if your ready for some interaction, I'll be your satisfaction. Together, we'll be an infraction. Breaking the rules and burning fuels. Just fasten your seat belt and get in the fast lane. I'm here to please and entertain. We can play a little game and call each other names to spark up the flames. Cause baby i wanna ride with you, cruise with you, get lost in these streets with you. So lets start this race so i can win my place. But hold on, lets slow down the pace. Lets change gears Cause I wanna take it slow from here And feel the atmosphere. I wanna know if you can move like an Evo. Cause me and you can be a duo. You be the auto I'll be the passenger, You can take me anywhere as long as i ride you there. And if you need some repair, just pop the hood and i'll treat you with care. Just beware, my transmission is in bad condition. I need a technician to fix my ignition. I just wanna know if our bumpers can touch, and if can hold me like a clutch, I'll keep this love from stalling, and make it like i'm falling....

In love with you.

[rinanaaa]

Poetry 1.3 “Silence”

Silence

Silence.

I want silence.

Not in the dark silence,

But to look into the darkness

& not see images of my past.

I want to be in silence

& not hear voices of my mistakes,

Whispers of my regrets,

& cries of my pain.

I feel insane sitting in silence.

And yet, I hear something

In the back of my mind,

Of my spine.

I can't define

The meaning of all of this.

I just want to run away

I want to get away

From the noises

From the voices

From the sounds

In my head.

I want to silence the fears

And make it clear.

In here, in my brain.

I want to silence the pain.

Like a migraine,

It aches.

Down to my chest,

It breaks.

The sound of a broken heart.

Pounding, through every muscle.

As it resonates, vibrates,

Over takes,

My very soul.

Taking my whole ~ existence.

I'm feeling tense.

Like I'm constricted.

I'm conflicted.

I can't seem to shake it.

I can't break it.

I'm drowning in a sea

Of my own thoughts.

My own voices.

I'm sinking deeper

Into my mind.

I just can't seem to find

A way out of this dark place.

I need to trace

My way back to reality.

Cause in actuality,

It's all in my head.

Rina L. Pastor

[rinanaaa]

Poetry 1.2 “Cigarette”

Cigarette

Why do people I’ve never even met

get so upset

when they see me light a cigarette?

I mean it’s not exactly

a choice I want to make,

But it’s like a craving for a piece of cake.

Gotta take a smoke break.

Call it a mistake

but i'm doing it for my own sake.

It's MY life i'm putting at stake.

And just because I smoke

doesn't mean death is my fate.

You say things like

"Quit, its never too late.”

But it is.

So just stop the hate.

I know I've got a lot on my plate.

But let me worry about that.

No need to overreact

or state the obvious fact.

Or even talk behind my back.

I'll take my chances on a pack.

Why?

Because it helps me get by.

I'm not trying to die.

But being closer to death

Makes me feel more ALIVE.

To strive. To fight to survive.

I'm just living my life.

So please,

just let me smoke

to put my mind at ease.

We all know it can cause a disease

but lets not base this off of studies.

Because it’s not the facts

that matter to you.

It’s my tattoo

and what I do.

But smoking isn't something we do.

It's just a way to get thru.

Rina L. Pastor

[rinanaaa]

"A Synopsis of Me"

For the people who know me but can know me better. For the people who THINK they know but don't really know me. & For the people who don't know me but should get to know me:

A Synopsis of Me

I'm rather simple. Although i might seem complicated, its just because I like to challenge myself. I know its contradicting, but if you knew me, it makes perfect sense. I'm a complex thinker. I think a lot about my past and the future. The present not so much, cause we all know things change in a matter of seconds.

I live in the moment. But i don't take advantage of my time. I appreciate everything as much as I can, & I value all things around me. I choose wisely about who i surround myself with, & i try to hold on to those that i truly care about.

I love writing. Whether its my own thoughts, my own stories, or thoughts transformed into poems. Poetry is my therapy. It's the only way i can really express myself without having to hide myself. Other than that, good luck trying to get me to talk about my feelings.

I'm neither talented nor skilled. But i do have talents & i do have skills. I like to sing, i like to draw, i like to play sports. But none of those hobbies i'm totally great in. Which is fine with me. I try to accept myself the way i am.

I'm neither stick-skinny nor flabby-fat. Which i'm totally satisfied with. I don't stress about weight because i accept the fact that i'm born with the figure i have (unless i become anorexic or obese then that's when i need to worry).

I like to believe i'm a survivor. Obviously not from surviving some tragic accident or some near-death experience. But surviving through some of the most difficult, traumatic moments in my own personal life. We all go through obstacles in life & we all have our own stories to tell. But i like to think that i have gone through the worst (in my own life) and somehow successfully made it to where i am today.

And most of all, I live day by day as if i'm the protagonist in a movie. There will be boring moments (which all become significant in the end) & there will be fun & exciting moments (which all seem to play as a montage of events because time just seems to go by faster when we're having fun). And there will be sad, hopeless moments (which will feel like an endless marathon of bitter, emotional episodes) but somehow I'll get through it and eventually grow stronger from it. -- There will definitely be the inevitable drama, which will come at random moments especially when i least expect it. And I can't forget the wretched heartbreak in my romantic life, which will challenge me for most of my life. And most importantly, the life lessons that come right after making a complete ass of myself with every stupid, little mistake.

Yep, my life is a movie. I'm just waiting to make it to the end, which in most cases is a happy ending. Right?

Rina L. Pastor

[rinanaaa]

Poetry 1.1 "Beautiful Eyes"

Beautiful Eyes

Let me just clarify

that I have two eyes.

Ones for me

to guarantee i have a sight to see.

& the other one is for you.

cause You are the perfect view.

It takes two

to see what's right in the middle.

& baby You,

are my horizon.

Where the Sun

And the Earth meet.

Where you & I

complete each other's half.

Cause without you

I'm not whole

like a fraction.

I want to unfold

pieces of your soul.

So I can see You

past your physical frame,

& into your veins,

into your brain.

So I can retain a sense

of your mind.

I want to unwind

the tangles in my eyes.

So i can see clearly

that it's You

who I want next to me.

Like in a game of chess

You are knight.

As long as i'm next you

I'll be alright.

And at the end of the night

when I shut my eyes,

I'll have a vision of you

as beautiful as the sunrise.

by Rina L. Pastor

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[rinanaaa]

[rinanaaa]

#obey #peace #smoke

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Personal blog that you will love!

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Want more personal/relatable?

[rinanaaa]

depression is when you don’t really care about anything

anxiety is when you care too much about everything

and having both is just like what

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