My Name Is Jess And This Blog Is A Mess

[romanceyourdemons]

saw a woman comforting her sobbing child saying “i already told you, you have to keep looking forward, looking back just gets you hurt” and i thought she was sharing a beautiful life lesson about the importance of letting go of regret and resentment. but it turns out the kid just wasn’t looking where he was going and ran into a wall

[gumi-megpoidd]

I am whatever gender has the shortest line at the bathroom

[gumi-megpoidd]

No need I think

[maxi-is-not-well]

​I see this one going places

[gumi-megpoidd]

Yeah. The bathroom

[slowtovvn]

Its about to be real lucrative to be a snitch. Guard your information. And guard your friends information.

[slowtovvn]

Fourth Riech shit.

[if-i-was-a-wyrm]

remember, they don't pay out these rewards. they'll put a million restrictions they dont tell you about to prevent you from receiving that reward. the person who snitched on luigi got zilch and you'll get zilch too.

[toskarintoast]

bread so tasty. bread so nice. toast it once. toast it twice.

[toskarintoast]

toast three times. it turns to coal. burning toast is not my goal.

[bewbin]

I was bleeding out in the snow and it was all cool and stuff until like a bunch of teenager showed up and then It got really cringe so I put all the blood back and went to go bleed out somewhere else but all the good bleed out places were taken so I decided just to die like a natural peaceful death like look overlooking the Cliffside but lo and behold somebody's already fucking dying there against a tree and it looks way sicker than what I had planned I guess I'll just fucking live

[caffeinewitchcraft]

Ugh tell me about it, this reminds me of the time I fled my father’s hall after declaring I wouldn’t marry my handsome (but related) suitor to bellow my pain and disillusionment into the once-in-century storm only to find there on the bluffs a freshly made widow of a conscripted officer screaming her vengeance over the ocean, sheering her hair with her late husband’s sword and allowing the dark strands to be ripped away by the howling wind as a symbol of her pact with Poseidon to see her bloody quest through to the end

Which, like. Obviously that took precedent. They were married for two decades. So I tried roaming the moors like a ghastly phantom, oozing my dread and angst over my pitiable and inescapable familial fate, but there was already another woman swanning about and crying about how her family wouldn’t let her marry her one true love (her cousin) and it gave me such the ick that I had to just go home and unseat my father and expel my odious cousin like an adult. Which, like, ugh.

[varazhi-deactivated20250417]

One of us.

[allsadnshit]

I need to pull myself together in a very very very kind way

[nohoperadio]

A good thing you can do with an ulcer or other painful sore inside your mouth is to keep pressing your tongue against it to make it hurt more, or even bother it with your teeth for some reason. You can do a similar thing with bad memories!

[preheville]

debbie downer and negative nancy should lez out

[fishandshesmygills]

they should invent an understanding and intellectualizing your feelings that makes them go away!!!

[nyaa]

I got really bored and started searching Flickr for every photo people took on September 11th 2001

[thebreakfastgenie]

it's not mentioned in the song but in the corner of the piano man bar there is a mouse hole and inside that hole is a smaller replica of the bar staffed and patronized by mice who perfectly mirror all of the characters and they all say squeak us a song you're the piano mouse and mouse what are you doing here while they put cheese in his tiny jar

[cecilias-cool-stuff]

Never stop hating

[andalusiapunk]

so my brother was telling me about this human resources certification he attended a while ago. in a panel, the panelist asked a bunch of people in attendance, “who here knows if an applicant for a job is right for it in under 60 seconds?”

hands shot up around the room, people smug about their ability to “weed out the riff-raff” when it came to hiring for their fortune 500.

“you should all be fired and probably in jail,” they said, waiting for the whole room to get uncomfortable, then continued, “because the only things you can really learn about a human being in under 60 seconds are all things that are fueled by prejudices and biases covered by american law. so now, i will teach you how to stop being racist, sexist, judgmental assholes and hire people that will better your company of employ.”

[sourcedumal]

I need this to be force taught at all companies

[memorycycle]

giggling spinning around clapping my hands and using up all the hot water in thr shower

[kosmogrl]

[halfelven]

car conversations so good bc of removal of eye contact expectation. let us all learn from this