the january cold may have been harsh on suna's skin, but your words were harsher on his heart.
he's standing at the doorstep of your apartment, and in front of an irriated and groggy looking you, who he may have awoken at three am in the middle of the night.
you cross your arms and lean on the doorway frame, waiting for his answer.
he may have expected a bit of a warmer greeting, though he's not sure if his expectations are valid โ not anymore, not since you've broken up with him.
"i, uhm," he trails off and pauses, looking around everywhere but at you, "i need somewhere to stay at."
you frown at him, "suna, are you drunk?"
you might as well have taken a knife and stabbed it in his heart when you used his last name as he replies, "no. maybe โย a little bit."
you know he's lying, you've known him for three years to know when he is, and you've known him for three years to know when he's drunk โ and the red that taints his cheeks say that he may have had more than his fair share of drinks.
"can i come in?" he asks, finally looking at you, you can see the way he slightly shivers with the chill that stings in the air.
you don't know what to say, you don't know if you should let him in โ no, you know that you shouldn't let him in and he knows that he shouldn't be asking this question, he knows he shouldn't even be here in the first place, and yet here he stands at the doorstep of your apartment.
you stay silent, for a moment, and then two before you finally answer him, "i guess i can't just leave you at the mercy of the january cold." you say quietly as you step away from the doorway and let him in โ it's a snowy and crisp night, and you can't send him out on the streets where the biting winds would get him.
and besides, against your bitter will, you may have missed him.
suna navigates his way around your apartment as though it's his second home, you presume that it is or at least it used to be as you watch him make his way to the couch and slump on it.
"make yourself comfortable, i guess." you mutter under your breath before you disappear into your room.
suna knows that he shouldn't be here, not when he's intoxicated and drunk on martinis, not after he went to the bar to do so just to get his mind off of you, and yet he still found himself circling back to you, first with a phone call, then two, then three, all which you didn't notice until he decided to finally go to your place, his feet dragged him there as though it was second nature and it might as well have been his lucky day when you let him in even though your break up ended with you saying that you didn't want to have anything to do with him.
but suna can't help it, he really can't, he can't get his mind off of you and his heart still longs for you but he thinks he's exaggerating, at least now he does with the alcohol settling in his system, his mind a daze with the only thought on it being you and the fact that he's at your apartment, and his eyelids now feel heavier.
and so when you come back with a pillow and comforter for him, you find him laying on the couch, head facing the ceiling.
a small smiles stretches at your lips as you make your way over to him, "sleepy already? i guess you've had too much to handle." you chide as you begin to cover him with the comforter, his eyes are still open but droopy.
"y/n," he calls out your name and you can't help but pause at it as you answer him, "yes?"
"i love you." he says, it's quiet, a bit intimate and almost innocent as he looks at you, waiting for your answer.
you may have not noticed how eloquent his tone was, how heartfelt his words actually were, or maybe you did, maybe you just chose to ignore it or maybe you just didn't believe him no matter how honest he actually was because you frown at him with a slight pout at your lips.
you say quietly, "you're too drunk, suna."
you tuck him in, your heart beating dully in your chest, maybe you can't hear his heartbeat but you can see the way his eyes dim as his chest throbs at your words.
the january cold may have been harsh but you don't realize how much harsher your words are to him as you speak once more,
"maybe tell me that when you're sober."
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