Walking Backwards

pointless but fun

[rissaroo132]

Stomach acid

I cannot breath Breathing is proof that we are living But the only gas excretion exhaled from these lunges is the unrefined stench of acid I am not the kind that finds enjoyment in living more so than the enjoyment at clawing for control in my acid filled world So I don’t breath I suffocate I suffocate Inhaling my cynicism, my fear And it burns And I want to scream ‘Why am I burning!? Why has the acid leaked into my heart and into my brain and into staggered soul?’ But I have no control over my word I lost my words Or maybe I forgot how to speak So my eyes will scream instead I know they will forget too I know that most cannot hear what my eyes will say I know that my eyes voice will soon be decimated by my anger and my fear and my lack of control Maybe things are better that way any ways Nobody wanted to hear what I had to say in the first place so I’ll suffocate in silence And try to remember that control was a friend that I never had

[rissaroo132]

An old, shitty poem I wrote years ago. I’m glad to know I’m still writing shitty poetry

[rissaroo132]

Afraid

Why can’t I speak when I’m around you

As if sharing your air turns me into a coward

Why is your proximity my weakness

If I could I’d say I love you

But the words choke me before they hit my tongue

I want to share my hopes and fears and dreams and needs and life

But I’m too afraid

Why am I afraid

Can a love this strong really be so debilitating

Or am I just weak

[rissaroo132]

Bdsm is dancing

Bdsm is like dancing. It’s up to the lead/dom to know what they are doing, be firm in their intent, be aware of their partners needs, and be safe for both partners. It’s up to the follower/sub to trust their lead, do as they are told, and communicate when they are uncomfortable or hurt. The best scenario is to have two proficient “dancers”, but really as long as you have a good lead, the follower may stumble a few times but will usually have a good time. I stand by this analogy until I die!

[rissaroo132]

I’m a ghost

Do you remember me?

Do I cross your thoughts at all?

Why don’t you tell me you need me?

Or at least want me?

I need you to touch me.

Not fuck me

Touch me like I’m the only thing you’ll ever feel. Breath me in like I’m a vanilla candle.

Remember that I’m fragile

That I’ve given you everything.

That you holding my actual fucking heart in your hands.

Please care

Why don’t you care?

Why don’t I exist to you anymore?

Why don’t you love me like you used to?

Why aren’t you warm?

[ssnowflake]

[place-2-vent]

“You don’t think about me the way I think of you, and it’s killing me.”

- repeated pain

[thepersonalquotes]

[rissaroo132]

[rialxoan]

[maderadearquitecto]

Thermochromic table by Jay Watson

[babyseraphim]

imagine banging someone on that table

[captain-snark]

imagine being home alone and seeing imprints on that table

[morbidamusement]

noooooo stop

[sevey6]

Imagine having a friend sit at that table for a long while, but when they get up there’s no imprints at all.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

What if you got up after trying to console a crying friend, and found that you had no imprints… and they were crying because they missed you?

[gammywank]

[rissaroo132]

Imagine sitting there on a date, letting a fart slip out, and then when you move the fart is imprinted on the bench.

[rissaroo132]

Social media is such a strange thing. It’s meant to connect you with everyone and allow you to have voice, but because I am connected to everyone I find that I say less. It’s been years since I’ve posted in tumblr, but I need my voice back and this is the one place nobody knows me.

Im in this strange limbo in my life, were I can just taste happiness and success and freedom from poverty, debt, and the stupidity of higher education and I finally feel the type of love people talk about but all of this has made me more depressed than ever. I want to self sabotage. I want to just not show up to life anymore. I want to fail school. I want to push this person who I love so much so far away from me. I want to cry and blame everyone around me for my suffering. And why shouldn’t I. In a way society is to blame for all the shit I’ve been through, for my PTSD and my desire to run away. I can blame society for raising pedophilic men and supporting an oligarchic government that makes education so unattainable. I can blame society for making me ugly compared to the rich, plastic women of instagram, and I can blame society for creating a world that would welcome my failure. It all makes me want to die, but I also want to conquer this and give everyone the middle finger. But my success doesn’t matter if no one cares and no one does.

I feel sick from the emotional pain. I feel sick from everything. And I want to scream but I’m afraid. What if I scream and it’s like screaming underwater? Or worst? What if I scream and I’m too loud? What if nobody cares?

I’m sad. I need a drink.

[wnq-writers]

I don’t think I still miss you, I just fear that I’ll never find someone who will light a fire in my soul quite like you did.

sneeezus  (via wordsnquotes)

Damn this rings true

[all-da-fandom]

i never knew how much I needed this in my life 😱😭😍

[psych2go]

Wounds That Won’t Heal: The Pervasive Effects of Trauma - Psych2Go.net

It is very common to acquire scars during childhood. In fact, most people can point to a scar on their body and immediately recall how and where they acquired that scar. Similar to physical scars, trauma can be traced back to an isolated incident or a series of events that occurred in the past. However, …

[drnutellasblog]

Read this shit

[wnq-writers]

I think that’s what happens when you’ve lived a lonely childhood. You get too attached to people as you get older, in the hope that they’ll give you the care and love that you missed out on and never leave you.

elsiewarrenswords (via wnq-writers)

[waekey]

Studying like: Open document > read first 5 lines > understand nothing > fall asleep on chair > wake up when getting a Facebook call > chat with calling person for two hours > repeat from step 2

[rissaroo132]

I think it would be cool to have a male villain who respected woman's rights. Like yeah he's a dick who want to destroy the world, but he doesn't use rape as a threat.

[itsoulright]