River

This tumblr only exists so I can support @nortsauce in their natural habitat

[davvi-this-beat]

Playing dnd with @nortsauce and they just announced they are raw chicken and disappeared

[nortsauce]

@flygutzz this is your fault

[riverdragon323]

Nort, I say this with love: I hate you.

[riverdragon323]

I just have to ask. Fucking. PISSING OFF A DEATHROW CONVICT????...???? HOW IS NORT NOT DEAD???????

It’s kind of like the unlucky trait in Sims 3. Nort is always involved in some sort of shenanigans (usually the consequences of their own actions, but not always). However, death finds their misfortune amusing and lets them live.

Plus, as an added safety measure, they have friends working round the clock to keep them alive

[riverdragon323]

I dont know sounds like skill isssue

alr seriously, if that time nort got borderline stalked by his neighbour doesn't even make the list I think your friend is too focused on the wrong resume 😭

Nort’s life is a walking clickbait title, except the article is exactly what the headline purports it to be

[riverdragon323]

Can you tell us the story about something that made you really shock of about nortfails?

I think my most iconic contribution to nortfails is the bisexual sock incident. Accidentally helped Nort realize they’re colorblind

[riverdragon323]

How tf did a fridge blow up with Nort

That one is before my time, unfortunately. However, knowing Nort, they did something they weren’t supposed to and it had consequences

[riverdragon323]

…. Hi Tumblr. Sorry there’s nothing here, I only made this account to follow @nortsauce lmao (they begged me)