River Song Secret Santa, part 2
Happy New Year, @thesongandthesunset! I did mention this was coming, it’s just a little ficlet but I hope you enjoy our lovebirds being cute together. I posted this on AO3 but figured it’s not too long so the full thing is here too :)
Pairing: Thirteen x River
Genre: Fluff
Rating: G
Words: 1112
Summary: The Doctor finally finds River at a New Year’s party after looking for her all night. It is River’s first time seeing the Doctor’s brand new body, and on top of that, it’s the Doctor’s first time seeing River since Darillium. The Doctor thought she would never get to feel her wife close to her again, but fate might have a different idea.
“So. New year, new me. What do you think?” The Doctor stands before River, open and anticipatory, making space for herself amid the throng of rowdy party guests. Her wife’s eyes scan over her new form with an intensity that is usually reserved for guns and particularly fascinating artifacts. The Doctor feels studied, examined, but welcomes it with a certain fervor. She wants River to look at her and see her, like she didn’t for so long the last time.
This time, for some reason, River knows who she is almost immediately. The scrutiny fades into recognition, and the Doctor lets out a sigh of relief as River smiles. “Hello, sweetie,” River says, her voice low and sultry as she steps closer. She reaches out to touch a sample of the Doctor’s new hair, which, despite its sporadic tangles, still manages to be quite soft. “Well, I can’t say this is all completely unexpected, but it is a very welcome change.”
As River’s hands explore the Doctor’s new body—tracing her jawline with tender touch, trailing down to the dip above her collarbone—the Doctor attempts to determine where River is in her timeline. Judging from the shape of her face and the way she wears her hair, the Doctor concludes she is on the later side of middle days: she hasn’t yet met the Doctor’s previous self, but has spent a good deal of time with the one before that. So River knows her quite well at this point, but she doesn’t know everything. Specifically, she doesn’t know about the amazing twenty-four years they spent together on Darillium, which means the Doctor will have to speak carefully.
Yes, she will definitely have to concentrate hard to avoid misspeaking, because the truth is, River is constantly on her mind. At the time, the Doctor had thought their moments on Darillium would be the last they’d ever spend together. So she’d treasured each one even more deeply, making sure she’d never, ever forget them. She’s afraid that if the memories fall too far back in her mind, they will slip away entirely. Rationally, she knows River Song is not one to be forgotten easily, but even so, that fear is the undercurrent of the nights the Doctor spends awake, reminiscing about their domestic bliss. Each minute of remembering is a minute less of forgetting.
Maybe River, through the Doctor’s recollections, could be just as real as she was for all those years. Right now the Doctor can’t help feeling that she’s actually willed her back to life.
River’s hands have come to rest on the Doctor’s waist, pushing the trench coat out of the way so she could burrow inside. Her thumbs softly stroke up and down the fabric of the Doctor’s shirt. “What is it, Doctor?” she asks. Her eyebrows knit together fractions of a centimeter, searching the Doctor’s face for a hint as to what she’s feeling.
The Doctor places her hands on River’s shoulders and gives them a small rub. They begin to sway absentmindedly to the music that’s playing a few rooms over. Outside, the sky is still light, and she loves the way it glints golden in River’s eyes. The Doctor finds herself scanning the room for a clock, out of habit. It’s seventeen minutes into the new year, but then she realizes that their time together now is boundless. She doesn’t feel the weight of a twenty-four-year clock pressing down on her; instead, she feels light and free.
“You remember the feeling of regeneration, don’t you?” the Doctor asks. River nods. “Did you ever notice that things felt… I don’t know, different somehow?”
River considers this. “I guess, maybe—wait, are you trying to tell me that I don’t feel the same to you anymore? Because if that’s what you mean, Doctor, then I can assure you—”
“No, no, that’s not what I mean, not quite.” The Doctor gives River’s shoulders another rub just to make sure she knows what she’s trying to say. “You, River, you feel the same. I think you always will. It’s not the way you feel that’s different, it’s just… the way I feel you has changed.”
River leans her forehead against the Doctor’s. They both realize that it feels even more natural than it had in the past, now that they’re nearly the same height. “I think I might know what you mean. Tell me more.”
“It’s like… the nerve endings have all rearranged themselves, or something. That would make sense, wouldn’t it? New body, new sensory mechanisms. It means that every time we change, we take in the universe a whole different way. The way a bird sounds in the distance, or the way cold air hits your lungs when you breathe in. It’s all new.”
“And is it sad or happy?”
“Oh, I’d say a bit of both, just like everything else. Right now it’s mostly happy, since I get to be with you, and I thought—well, best not say that. Spoilers.” The Doctor bites her tongue. She’d been so close to slipping. “The point is, whether I’m new or old, I couldn’t care either way, not if you don’t.”
“Yes,” River breathes. “I think I do know what you mean.” She pulls back, and the Doctor laments the loss of River’s warm breath against her cheek. “You know, I think I’ve just had a brilliant idea.”
Her tone of voice piques the Doctor’s interest. “And what might that idea be?” she wonders aloud.
“What do you say to…relearning how to feel me?” she suggests. The sparkle in her eye is positively sinful.
“Oh, River Song, you bad, bad girl. Right now, I want nothing more.” The Doctor isn’t sure if those words sound quite right coming off her tongue, but she supposes she’ll have to try things out.
“I figured you’d say that.” River leans in for a quick peck on the lips that sends electricity coursing through the Doctor’s body, and leaves her wanting more, more, more.
Before River can pull her off into another side room, suddenly everything clicks into place. It’s just past midnight, the dawn of the new year, but here on the South Pole of wherever they are, the sun doesn’t set in January. Darillium might have been their last night together, but this? This isn’t a night at all. This is something else altogether.
River tugs the Doctor’s hand, and the sunlight frames her mane of curls, giving her a glowing aura. Oh, that beautiful woman. The Doctor willingly allows herself to get pulled along, and—what is that feeling on her face?
Oh. It’s a smile. That’s a feeling she’ll have to get used to again, and fast.
