𝐑𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫

𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭

[riverzsqsblog]

“I hated her. I wanted to be her. I hated myself.”

- Georgia Warr, Loveless page 78, by Alice oseman

[riverzsqsblog]

“But killing someone is wrong, and I don’t think suicide is. It’s my life, right? I should be able to end it if I want to.”

- Suicide Notes page 62 by Michael Thomas Ford

[riverzsqsblog]

“They’re the ones who screwed everything up. Not me. I didn’t ask to be saved”

-Suicide Notes page 41 by Michael Thomas Ford

[sovietnam]

[riverzsqsblog]

“It hits me then. I haven’t ever known what I wanted out of life. Until now. I sort of want to be dead.”

- Tori Spring, Solitaire page 371

[riverzsqsblog]

you know they care when they learn a literal language for you. oh how i love you <3

[riverzsqsblog]

i would argue that i was born a fan girl. that part of my life will always be waiting in queues hours before the doors to a concert open. and that no matter what i’ll always dream of meeting all the people i look up to. being a fan girl provides my happiness. it’s who i am.

[riverzsqsblog]

love poems

one day i’ll write love poems.

about holding hands and sunset dates.

about discovering the meaning of life together.

and about finding someone who makes everything worth it.

but for now i try to figure out if i can even love and care that deeply.

and if i can find any labels that fit the way i feel.

for now i’m stuck watching everyone experience love.

and i can only fear that it may never come to me.

because before i can love anyone around me.

i need to learn to love myself.

[riverzsqsblog]

The worst emotion

one day two years ago i asked my best friend.

‘what emotion do you hate the most’.

she was quick to answer with guilt.

guilt made her sick over and over.

guilt would take up her mind for things she didn’t do.

then she returned the question.

‘what emotion do you hate the most’.

and i told her that i didn’t know.

i hated guilt, but not in that way.

and then two years later i figured it out.

the emotion that dominates my brain for way too long.

the emotion that makes me angry for others being happy.

the emotion that keeps destroying the person i am.

JEALOUSY.

[riverzsqsblog]

“I don’t blog to get more followers or whatever. I’m not Evelyn. It’s just that it’s not socially acceptable to say sad stuff out loud in the real world because people think that you’re attention-seeking. I hate that. So what I’m saying is that it’s nice to be able to say whatever I want. Even if it is only on the Internet”

- Tori Spring, solitaire page 30

It starts here.