— 𝖍𝖚𝖗𝖙 / 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺 *

movin' so FAST, the clock look SLOW water my seeds 'til the flower GROW, yeah LOVE so much that my heart get  b r o k e i don't really know how the NORMAL shit go, so i GUESS i just play it by ear, silence is all that i hear listenin' close as i can, growin' up (123) JUMP nobody holdin' my hand, no trust is a PROBLEM, never know how, yeah that's why i just KEEP to myself get what i need, then i'll be OUT come observe the universe with me lucifer is HUMAN and so are WE all i ever want is what i need and i DON’T include your time and company follow me, we on UP and UP remember when i owed a hundred bucks ? now, we look around like WHAT the fuck? if you don't FUCK with me, you fuckin' up

[rivvcr-blog]

CLOSED STARTER FOR @cazaldcr​

          after  having  met  the  blue-eyed  male  for  breakfast  at  one  of  the  town’s  small  hole-in-the-wall  diners,  river  is  uncharacteristically  NOT  hungry,  stressing  out  more  so  over  the  HAVOK  last  night’s  events  had  caused  for  the  two  of  them.   ❛  so  ...  remember  when  i  was  like,  texting  you,  asking  you  to  cover  for  me  ?  ❜    he  asks  casually,  taking  a  small  sip  from  the  breakfast  shake  he  had  barely  managed  to  dent.     ❛  i  was  uh,  being  dumb.  and  may  have  done  something  that’s  gonna  bite  me  in  the  ass,  ❜   he  hums  hesitantly,  using  the  corner  of  his  piece  of  toast  to  shovel  his  food  back  and  forth  along  the  plate  mindlessly.  he’s  not  exactly  UPSET  with  caz,  but  definitely  wishes  he  would  have  had  a  little  more  support  in  the  moment  of  his  crisis,  so  he  offers  a  teasing  glare  at  the  closest  thing  he  has  to  a  little  brother  in  the  complex.     ❛  so  please,  inform  me  what  YOU  were  up  to  last  night  instead  of  covering  my  back  when  i  may  have  needed  it  most.  ❜

[rivvcr-blog]

GEN—-

gen had thrown on one of her dad’s old grubby t-shirts and a pair of shorts to do laundry. luckily, when she entered the laundry room, there were only a couple washers and dryers being occupied. so, the girl had popped in her earbuds and gone to work on her laundry. but, it was not long before a lower voice broke through the sza that was blaring into her ears. slowly, gen reached up, sliding one of her earbuds from her ear to listen to river’s pleas. although her heart rate had picked up slightly as he talked to her, a little amused smirk creeped onto her face. “that’s actually heartbreaking, river. i really thought we had developed a deep, meaningful connection in our five minute conversation last weekend,” gen teased, looking up at him with an impish smile on her face as she pulled fifty cents from her pocket. carefully, she dropped the two quarters into his much larger hand. “there’s literally zero reason for you to venmo me fifty cents, esposito. don’t worry about it. i’ll figure out some other way you can pay me back for this HUGE debt,” she chuckled, leaning against one of the washers. genevieve eyed river for a moment, chewing at the inside of her cheek. god, he was good looking. she didn’t remember him looking this good at the party. although, to be fair, when she first met him, it was a little dark outside and she had already had quite a few mixed drinks. “now tell me, how do you not know how to do laundry? was it done for you growing up? or did you just somehow avoid it altogether and smell grungy all the time? the people want to know.”

                       ❛  oh,  DON’T  start  with  me,  ❜  the  male  groans,  a  smile  playing  at  the  corners  of  his  lips  with  gen’s  teasing.  river  felt  borderline guilty for  the  way  his  eyes  never  left  her  but  when  someone  looked  like  THAT,  it  felt  fair  for  him  to  willingly  indulge.  he  leans  up  against  the  washing  machine  next  to  her,  mirroring  her  movements,  until  she  hands  him  the  change  which  he  promptly  feeds  to  the  machine.   ❛  okay  well,  fifty  cents  at  the  taco  stand  down  the  street  is  worth ONE taco  al  pastor,  so  i’ll  probably  repay  you  with lunch sometime,  ❜   he  counters,  a  playful  light  to  his  hazel  hues  as  the  flirting  continues  unabashedly.  her  question  is  obviously  meant  as  a  joke  but  for  the  slightest  instant horrifies him—- he  really  hopes  gen  isn’t  out  here  thinking  a  GROWN  man  doesn’t  know  how  to  do  his  own  laundry.  he  defends  himself  readily,  a  lazy  smile  finally  engulfing  his  features  as  he  confesses  the  root  of  his  mistake.         ❛  i  know  how  to  do  my  laundry  while ... SOBER.  ❜       a  quick  wiggle  of  his  eyebrows  at  the  shorter  female  punctuates  the redness of  his  blood-shot  eyes.         ❛  but  cherry  wanted  this  done  after  i  had  already  decided  to  smoke  a hefty amount  so  i  may  or  may  not  be  a  little  wobbly  with  my  attention  skills  right  now,   ❜       he  admits,  letting  out  a  laugh  at  he  tries  for  round  TWO  with  this  load  of  laundry.  tilting  his  head  at  the obnoxiously attractive  female,  he  inquires  something  that  he  could  perhaps  use  as  an IN.    ❛  do  you  smoke  at  all ? i  don’t  think  i  got  to  ask  you  at  that  party,  there  was a  lot that  kinda  went  on  all  at  once.  ❜

[rivvcr-blog]

TEXT TO—- starboy ✨

caz: lol thanks dude

caz: yeah, i know. i appreciate it. just running into dani kind of threw me for a loop, i guess.

caz: yeah but everyone forgives you because your you

caz: how can i make you proud?

river: dani doesn't really talk about what went down but i'm sure it was hard for you, from what i've heard

river: i'm sorry again, i don't know how to explain it but i'm sure there was something important behind it

river: "forgives" is a LOOSE word but thanks caz, you're a real gem

river: AHHHH! you can start by freaking asking out whatever girl it is you're always daydreaming about

[rivvcr-blog]

G—-

she let out a small sigh and rolled her eyes. “does no one appreciate my intrusiveness and overall aggressive entrance manners? i’m truly a joy in most everyone’s life, if i call you all ahead of time then you all lose the great feeling of a happy surprise.” g takes the opportunity to lay down next to her ex, shoulder to shoulder with him. this was weird to most people right? just hanging out with your ex-boyfriend in his bedroom with no implicit intentions of doing anything romantic? yet she did it and it felt normal, at least with river it did. any other ex and she would’ve moved states by now ( she did that before ). “ah, that’s where you’re mistaken. i came here specifically to hang out on your bed. contrary to what every other woman i’ve ever met that’s been in your life romantically keeps saying, i don’t mind your presence.”

                river  shoots  an  unphased  deadpan  at  the  redhead—-  oh  the  intrusive  JOYS  of  being  on  good  terms.  figuring  he  wouldn’t  die  from  spending  a  little  time  not  sulking  on  his  own,   he  welcomes  her  presence  with  an  open  mind.    ❛  happy  surprise,  yeah  i  guess  you  could  consider  yourself  as  such,  georgie,  ❜  river  teases,  grinning  playfully  at  the  female  with  his  choice  of  nickname.    ❛  i  appreciate  the  much  needed  ego  BOOST,  but  i  know  you’re  here  to  rant  about  something  or  other.   what’s  the  princess  been  up  to  lately  ?  get  into  any  good  fun  ?  ❜   he  asks,  turning  to  look  curiously  at  her.   ❛  oh,  and  how  STOKED  is  a  city  girl  like  yourself  for  this  illywild  trip  ?  ready  to  cram  all  your  belongings  into  two  suitcases  or  less  ?  ❜

[rivvcr-blog]

NOAH—-  

awoken by the loud ringing of her phone, noah moaned and lifted her head her pillow. it took her a moment to register why she was hearing the mario theme song and by the time her sleepy brain realized it was her phone, the music stopped abruptly. with a frown, she dropped her head back to her pillow, hugging the silk case against her as she shrugged off the call, figuring whoever it was would leave a voicemail if it was important. and that they did. a few short moments later, noah heard the vibration of the notification and she sighed, giving in to the curiosity and reaching over to grab her phone from the nightstand by her bed. she almost couldn’t believe the name on her lock screen and she had to blink several times and look back at it to realize her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her. hesitantly, noah slid open the notification and typed in the password for her voicemail with shaky fingers. something must be really wrong if river was calling her, especially at this time of night. putting the call on speaker, noah’s gut twisted at the sound of his slurred voice. normally she hated her name, finding the formality of it uncomfortable, but river’s husky voice had a way of turning even the simplest of words into music to noah’s ears. she found herself biting back a giggle at the male’s obvious lack of sobriety but the glee soon subsided into heartache at his words and she was soon biting back tears that stung at the back of her eyes. squinting her eyes shut, noah wanted to end the voicemail and call him back to find out where he was but she heard the all-too familiar sound of ocean waves crashing into the shore and it clicked. the rooftop. she scrambled to grab the nearest cardigan to pull over her thin camisole and pink cotton shorts as river’s voice continued to slur through her phone and she was out of her apartment, phone still clutched in her hand as she raced up the stairs that would take her to the roof. when the voicemail cut off at river’s shaky breath, noah bit the inside of her cheek harshly, hating how messy and complicated things had become between them. atop the last flight of stairs, the door to the roof was propped open with a brick and she tiptoed onto the roof, locking her phone and hastily shoving it into the pocket of her sweater. “then what do we work as, river?” she asked as her eyes fell on him, the moon casting an eery glow around his silhouette, voice cracking around the question. “because i’m sure as hell tired of pretending i’m fine being in this weird limbo.”

                 ❛  jesus,  fuck,  ❜   the  male  breathes,  clearly  startled  by  the  sudden  presence  of  the  object  of  his  thoughts.  his  phone  dangled  lazily  in  his  hand,  he  obviously  wasn’t  intending  on  having  her  join  him—-  if  anything,  he  was  probably  still  mumbling  incoherent  nothings  into  the  black  emptiness  of  his  phone.  brows  furrowing  as  his  eyes  come  up  to  meet  hers,  hand  coming  up  to  run  through  his  messy  curls.    ❛  please  try  not  to  scare  me  like  that,  you’re  so  tiny  you  don’t  even  make  footstep  noises  ...  ❜     it  takes  a  moment  for  her  words  to  permeate  the  hazy  fog  around  river’s  brain  right  now,  but  he  knows  at  least  why  she’d  come.  his  voice  is  soft,  low  and  clearly  in  emotional  turmoil  as  he  goes  on  with  his  unfiltered  thought  process.      ❛  we’re  NOT  fine  and  we’re  NOT  fooling  anyone,   ❜    he  laughs  humorlessly,  knitting  together  his  brows  as  the  impassioned  words  leave  his  mouth.   ❛  i’m  not  gonna  keep  acting  like  i  can  handle  what  we’re  doing.  every  time  things  get  a  little  harder  i  basically  crack  and  it’s  starting  to  affect  close  to  everyone  in  my  life,  ❜   he  tells  her,  and  it’s  true.  the  past  few  weeks  have  been  marred  by  river’s  emotional  TURBULENCE  spilling  over  into  the  lives  of  his  most  loved  ones  and  he  was  becoming  increasingly  fed  up  with  it.      ❛  and  as  HARD  as  i  try  to  not  give  you  that  power  it’s  fucking stuck,   like  a  part  of  me  knows  you’re  never  gonna  lose  that  spot  in  my  life  and  it  just—-  ❜   he  cuts  himself  off  before  he  can  go  on,  working  his  jaw  in  and  out  of  a  harsh  clench.    ❛  it  SUCKS,  noah.  it  feels  like  i’m  walking  on  glass  just  being  around  you,  worrying  about  the  next  thing  you’ll  do  and  if  it’ll  hurt  me  or  if  i’ll  act  up  and  hurt  you  unintentionally.  ❜     river’s  husky  voice  clips  at  the  end,  feeling  a  lump  building  at  the  back  of  his  throat  at  the  words  now  SPILLING  haphazardly  from  his  lips.      ❛  i  don’t  think  we  can  really  do  this,  whatever  it  is,  if  we  want  to  make  it  out  in  one  piece  at  the  other  end.  i’m  tired  of  meaning  nothing  to  each  other  and  still  causing  this  much  ...  ❜   his  words  trail  off  as  he  loses  the  tail  end  of  his  thought,  waving  his  hand  in  the  air  and  ripping  his  gaze  from  the  female  in  front  of  him.  noah  was  NEVER  supposed  to  be  this  much  to  river,  not  when  they  started,  and  especially  not  now  after  their  demise.

[delioncunt]

Can I tell you something?  

[rivvcr-blog]

@cazaldcr

[unsends-deactivated20170829]

[rivvcr-blog]

@asapncah

[rivvcr-blog]

CLOSED STARTER FOR @asapncah​

                 ❛  hey,  noella.  it’s  riv.  i’m  drunk. ❜   river  knows  he’s  playing  a  dangerous  game,  phone  to  his  ear,  but  the  girl’s  full  name  leaving  his  lips  pumps  adrenaline  through  his  veins  in  a  way  that  only  AMPLIFIES  the  effects  of  the  alcohol.  he  didn’t  go  to  the  rooftop  that  night  with  the  intention  of  getting  intoxicated ;  he  was  supposed  to  go  up  for  some  time  ALONE  with  a  bottle  of  jack  to  try  cranking  out  a  few  new  song  ideas  but  there  he  is,  two  hours  later  without  a  single  thing  written  on  his  notebook  and  his  exes’  number  now  showing  on  his  phone.       ❛  i  don’t  even  remember  if  you  actually  picked  up  or  if  i’m  just  RAMBLING  to  your  answering  machine  but  i’m  like,  fucking  plastered,  ❜       he  breathes,  coming  off  as  a  shaky  laugh.        ❛   i  don’t  wanna  waste  either  of  our  time  talking  about  shit  in  the  past  or  saying  something  that’ll  make  me  a  bigger  dick  than  i’ve  been  to  you  since  everything’s  kinda  blown  up.   ❜    an  admittedly  exhausted  sigh  leaves  his  lips,  staring  out  at  the  coast  with  hazeled  hues—-  how  did  river  let  everything  get  so  fucking  MESSY  ?                        ❛   god  this  is  like  ...  this  is  my  millionth  apology,  right  ?  you  know  i  hate  hurting  people,  fuck.   ❜       his  jaw  clenches  in  anticipation  for  the  words  building  in  his  chest  that  he  knows  he  has  to  force  out  sooner  or  later.      ❛   i’m  probably  being  really  unnecessary  about  how  i’m  going  about  this  but  i  feel  like  we  CAN’T  keep  being  in  this  weird  liminal  state.  i  don’t  think  we  work  as  ‘friends’  if  you  can  fucking  call  it  that,  even  if  it’s  just  to  smoke  or  play  a  game  of  beer  pong—-   ❜    the  cut  off  is  punctuated  by  a  shaky  breath ;  river  knows  he’s  the  root  cause  of  all  the  chaos  around  him  and  the  GUILT  of  that  is  something  he  can’t  seem  to  shake.                     ❛   i  don’t  want  to  keep  exhausting  the  both  of  us  with  this  bullshit,  noah.    ❜  

[magicwithcolors]

[rivvcr-blog]

@cazaldcr

[niceaf]

From The 1975’s twitter, 2012-05-11, 01:02

[rivvcr-blog]

@asapncah

[noahcentineogifs]

[laurbyboom]

a man shooting a nerf gun at his light switch from the bed, missing every shot, and going to sleep with the lights on

[sorenkingsley]

[rivvcr-blog]

@dcnis

[realitytvshow]

[rivvcr-blog]

TEXT TO—- starboy ✨

caz: sorry you're right. sorry. i'm being an idiot that's my bad

caz: thanks river but idk i just, like you're a stud, all the girls want you

caz: maybe i just don't know enough people. are you going to be my cupid river?

river: you're not an idiot, you're a good guy and you know that

river: is something bothering you? i'm here for you to talk to if you think you need it. i always am, you know that too

river: GOD caz you're a funny dude. 😂 we both know the general consensus in the complex is that i mess up with most of the girls here without even trying to. it's like a talent

river: so please. let me live vicariously through you since i don't think you have any women hating your existence

[rivvcr-blog]

DANI—-

daniela wouldn’t say she was avoiding river. in her defense, she was avoiding everybody. the only people she had seen since were gen, who she had managed to get to avoid her by pulling the ‘i’m sick and contagious’ card, and dallas, who had just showed up at her door. the events of the bonfire still weighed heavily on her and kept her emotionally drained. she knew she was in no space to be mad at river, her stupid drunken question had been what set him off. but, maybe it was just that, she hadn’t expected that type of reaction and in the back her mind it stung more then she knew it should. and that was just the icing on the cake to the night after her surprise confrontation with caz. she wished she could use a different word to describe their conversation but confrontation was the only one that fit. so, when she had woke up to the dark and creepy colored bug running up her bedroom wall, it seemed like enough of a sign for to reach out to him. her text was basically an olive branch, telling him that she was done shutting him out. what she hadn’t expected was for the tall boy to come barreling into her apartment and room raid in one hand and flip flop in the other. the pure shock of it caused her to shriek loudly from her perch on the end of her bed, “bursting? more like breaking my door down,” she squeaked out as she allowed herself to be pushed behind him, his body shielding her from the creepy thing now beginning to scale the wall, “just get it over with, i’m so sorry mr bug, but you gotta go,” she closed her eyes tightly not wanting to watch, “if you have a family, i hope you have another buggy you trust to take care of them,” her voice was soft and high pitched.

                daniela  is  the  only  person  river  knows  that  could  possibly  make  his  heart  swell  just  before  killing  a  living  creature.  there  was  something  so  GOOD  about  her,  so  inherently  kind  and  caring,  that  truly  brought  out  the  best  in  the  otherwise  sullen  male.  he  wanted  to  protect  her,  from  everything  within  his  power,  which  he  starts  to  realize  is  probably  why  her  giving  him  the  cold  shoulder  is  really  more  painful  than  it  should  be.  he  purses  his  lips,  glancing  quickly  between  the  home  intruder  and  the  resident  herself,  knowing  he’s  gotta  work  QUICKLY  if  he  has  any  intention  of  making  this  less  difficult  than  it  has  to  be.         ❛  just—-  god  dani  just  like  freakin’  look  AWAY  or  something,  i  can’t  do  this  while  you’re  staring  me  down  with  those ‘you’re  a  murderer’  eyes.  ❜        he’s  borderline  FRANTIC,  trying  to  shield  her  innocence  from  something  as  simple  as  a  squashed  bug,  but  to  river,  it’s  his  first  IN  to  talking  to  dani  in  far  too  long.  he  hesitates  for  a  split  second  until  a  spray  from  the  can  and  a  loud  THWACK  indicate  the  deed  has  been  done,  leaving  a  less  than  delightful  little  gift  along  the  bottom  of  the  male’s  worn  shoe.  he  holds  the  flip  flop  up  high  (  shielding  the  petite  female  from  the  trauma  of  bug  guts  splattered  against  the  sole  )  and  exhales  sharply  as  if  to  release  some  of  the  tension  within  the  room.          ❛  okay,  it’s  done  and  over  with  and  YOU’RE  WELCOME,  even  if  you’re  mad  i  almost  broke  down  your  door.  not  all  of  us  make  copies  of  other  people’s  keys,  you  doof.  ❜       he  hopes  the  lighthearted  insult  will  do  something,  anything,  to  get  her  to  just forgive him  of  whatever  it  is  he’s  done  to  upset  her ;  and  at  this  point,  at  this  level  of  desperation,  river  would  be  ready  to  apologize  for  just  about  anything.                 ❛  now,  please  REMIND  me  where  your  trash  can  is  and  we  can  just  pretend  this  didn’t                      happen.  ❜

[rivvcr-blog]

CLOSED STARTER FOR @hcldvns

                 ❛ i hate thrifting in LA because everything that should be $2 is somehow MIRACULOUSLY worth x5 what it was sold for. ❜   river was probably one more overpriced coffee mug away from ripping out his own curls. holden was one of the few guy friends he had at a ready disposal and yet their thrift shop adventure was leaving the male more aggravated than he should have been on an otherwise enjoyable afternoon.    ❛ i didn’t exactly LOVE school besides like, jazz band and orchestra, but i know what a ‘welcome to vegas’ magnet costs and what it SHOULDN’T, ❜   he huffs in unmasked indignation. LA traffic was only adding to his increasing frustration, turning to face his friend with a miffed glare.    ❛ how long have we even been freaking driving for ? i’m honestly thinking we should just hunt down somewhere for lunch and call it a DAY.  ❜