My creative process is fucked up
I'm in the final stages of recording and mixing my next EP and being sober for most of the mixing process, I had enough brain cells to ponder about how and why I make sounds with my mouth for others to consume.
It's days like this that I wish I had steady and regimented employment.
Let's start off with the how.
I need to be in a state of inebriation to write. It's not because I'm trying to be edgy, for a long time I refused to drink before shows or recording sessions, and it's not some cop out I'm trying to use to get bombed all the time. I do have an unhealthy relationship with booze but I don't figure that's the reason. I think, a lot. All the time in fact and that makes it terrible to perform any sort of function while completely sober. Terry Prachett describes this phenomenon as "knurd". The explanation goes that the body produces it's own natural alcohol to deal with life on a day-to-day basis, and people who are knurd don't have the ability to produce it. Sounds like fun right? Anyway I struggle to focus, sleep or write while sober for too long, so drinks are a must when recording (I'm sure I should be talking to a professional about this but fuck em).
Other than that I make/pick beats and playlist them til I have a rough outline of how the tape is going to play out. This is critical. I need to know how the project is going to run before I start writing. I don't write 30 songs and whittle them down before sequencing. I sequence the tape, write the tape, and then add/remove songs til I feel like the project is done and cohesive. The sound design term additive synthesis is rather apt.
That leaves us with the why.
I'm not sure where the compulsion to make music comes from. I guess it's cos my folks stuck me in a corner for hours on end while they were in meetings and I had to entertain my delf, so making stories up about the lego shit I was building was swaggy. Couple that with my love of pornstars and mind altering substances and here we are.
Tbh I also enjoy the fact that words cause you to feel something. For the most part I reckon that emotions are overrated, but being able to control someone else's with sonic kinetic energy gives me the warm and fuzzies (I realize there's a bit of a dichotomy in the last statement, chalk it up to the human condition).
That's about it, I don't have any deep or meaningful message to convey; I don't want to change the world with words, and I don't for a poes care if my work helps you validate actions you were already conditioned to execute.
