boy toy

Hugo Kim | SongM!ne | 23 | Underground Rapper | Producer | Nova's Resident Goofball | PER_SE's Main Rapper and Sub-Vocal

[rkhugo]

@per_sehg 

busy day, busy life... is everyone resting well? please take care of your health and make sure to play hard after working hard~

[rkhugo]

rkwendy​:

rkhugo​:

shake n’ bake

Wendy never thought she’d be plotting a future with a boy, let alone a fellow idol. Yet, here they are, planning the next steps of their lives in Hugo’s kitchen. “That would be nice, assuming our schedules ever align.” Right now, both PER_SE and AND*ROMA seemed to be on opposite sides of the world rather than sibling groups under the same company. When it was AND*ROMA’s time to promote, PER_SE was busy. The opposite was also true. Then again, that was probably Nova’s way of making sure they always have money (and to avoid dating rumors). 

She starts measuring the ingredients for the cake, going for the dry ingredients first. “Of course there’s a space for you,” Wendy says. “I have to figure out what to do with all that land.” She laughs as she moves on to the next ingredient.  “Your call, captain,” she playfully says. She never thought she’d be willing to play a supporting role to someone else. After all, she was used to being in charge of her own fate. However, a future with Hugo would be nice. “You’re the one putting up the restaurant. I’m just here to be the co-pilot who makes sure you don’t die.”

He knows her words are jests, but he does simmer down from his playfulness to a more semi-serious note. “Hey, you know we’re both co-pilots, right? I... listen, when I think of the future? For real? I see you in it. There’s no one else I’d rather imagine a life with. But nothing is ever set in stone. I have things I’d like to do, but only if you want to do them too, you know? It’s up to both of us, we’re both in charge.” He gives her a small squeeze, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “I don’t ever want you to be unhappy, especially not because of me. We’re in this together.”

Wendy was an independent woman with lots of plans and dreams, and Hugo loved that about her. He’d never want her to just submit to whatever he wanted to do. What she wanted mattered just as much. “I know I should probably be mixing the wet ingredients right now and helping but... how often do I get to just hug you like this?” He chuckles, rocking them from side to side as he buries into her neck, placing a few kisses there. Would she be this mushy? Probably not. It was Hugo’s job to be the gross mushy one.

[haknyeonrk]

introductions

@rkhugo

haknyeon finds himself lucky enough to have been able to debut in a group as loving as per_se. despite being a whole adult, he’s constantly babied by the older members, not that he minds. if anything he quite likes it, and he enjoys the affection they show him. that’s exactly how he finds himself watching television, huddled on the couch with hugo as he munches on some snacks (their manager doesn’t need to know!).

it’s only when a performance pops up on screen does haknyeon find his own cheeks heat up. it’s the face on his screen that has him reacting in such a manner. it’s juyeon he sees on screen, his boyfriend, looking good and fine and all magnificent things he can think of. he bites on his lower lip, focused on the television, before he decides that it’s probably the right time to let hugo know. it would’ve been kind of funny if he didn’t let hugo know, right?

he turns to look at the older boy and awkwardly bites at the inside of his cheek. “hey, uhm, hyung,” he begins, flicking his eyes from the screen back to the older boy. “do you remember when i told you that i’m… seeing someone?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “well uh, what if i told you… that… he’s in that group,” he points to the screen, where convex are performing. “and that’s why i’ve been taking so many bathroom breaks… during music shows when we’re promoting with them.”

[rkhugo]

Hugo may just be the most affectionate guy out there. He was always super skinshippy, especially with his bandmates, and even more so especially with the baby, Haknyeon himself. Them cuddled up on the couch and watching TV together while eating snacks they most certainly shouldn’t be eating? Not a surprise. It shouldn’t have been to anyone that knew them well at all. 

What is a surprise however, is when Haknyeon fesses up to the fact that he’s dating a convex member. Hugo blinks once. Twice. Thrice. His eyes good wide and then he practically jumps on Haknyeon in excitement. “OH MY GOD! WHICH ONE?” He practically strangles the kid in his excitement until something dawns on him. “Wait-- bathroom breaks? Have you... have you been fucking your boyfriend in between rehearsals at music bank?” Hugo eyes narrow as he looks the younger up and down with a scrutinizing gaze. “If so, how? I want tips for Wendy and I.”

[rkhugo]

shake n’ bake

[rkhugo]

“Or,” he begins, a small smile tugging at his lips, “you and I can travel together on breaks and vacations, and learn different food cultures together.” Hugo had always wanted to travel with Wendy. Aside from being his girlfriend, she was a very observant person, so he felt like if anyone would appreciate seeing all the different sights in the world, it’d be her, and who better to have as a travelling companion? “Where should we go first? Europe? Maybe a Polynesian island? South America? The world is our oyster~” Hugo was definitely a daydreamer, and while Wendy was more practical, that wouldn’t stop him from trying to pull her into his dreams with him. 

Here they are, plotting a future together, and it felt so effortless and easy. It just made sense to him, making rough plans for a future he knew he’d be spending with her. “Well, when you do take over the world, leave me a nice spot somewhere for this restaurant slash bakery slash cafe, yeah? I’d be eternally grateful.” He jests, but he already saw his girlfriend as a queen so it wasn’t far-fetched for him. His heart melts when she softens and relaxes into his hold, and he swears he could just stay there forever like that with her. “Works out well then.. perfectly even.” 

[rkhugo]

@per_sehg 

missed you guys.. have you been waiting for us? we’re missing you ;-;

[rkhugo]

shake n’ bake

[rkhugo]

rkwendy‌:

Maintaining a relationship while promoting wasn’t easy, and she’s glad that she was able to get some time alone with Hugo. Wendy had joked about baking a cake ages ago, and somehow, that’s what was on the agenda today. It’s been way too long since they got to be together like this. Although she was horrible at expressing her feelings, Wendy missed Hug dearly. Honestly, he deserves better, yet he still chooses to love her. That’s one of the many reasons she keeps trying to be a better person. 

“A lemon glaze works just fine for the icing, I think?” Wendy says as she runs an eye over their ingredients. A lemon cake was better suited for the warmer weather, and anything they can’t finish can go to either their parents or their group mates. It still amuses her how interested Hugo is in cooking and baking. It gives them yet another thing to talk about, and honestly, Wendy quite likes it. “Oppa, have you ever considered putting up your own restaurant someday?” It’s something she had wondered for a while, if she’ll be honest. “Or at least taking your cooking skills to another level?”  

“My own restaurant?” Hugo had never really thought about it, and he starts to mull it over as he makes his way towards his woman, sliding his arms around her waist and hugging her from behind. He hums on it, resting his chin on his shoulder. “I never really thought about it before, but it would be a steady source of income on top of song writing royalties.” He gives her a small squeeze. “I guess I could. But what kind of cuisine? Maybe Italian? You liked my Alfredo from all those months ago.” Did he enjoy cooking or baking more though? Did he have to choose? “I could find a place in Itaewon and maybe open a bakery attached to it.” 

He doesn’t see himself going to school for it though, at least not anytime soon. He had to focus on the group, and making music. He needed to set himself up for that sort of thing. Besides, going to school would make it even harder for him to see Wendy or his family. “What about you? Would you head the bakery while I ran the restaurant? It’d be awfully domestic of us, wouldn’t you say?” He laughs softly, kissing her cheek gently.

[rkhugo]

shake n’ bake

it had been some time since hugo and wendy had been able to share some time alone together like this, though why they decided to back a cake together, hugo had forgotten. perhaps the holidays? either way, hugo was just glad to have some time with her alone, finally. he had missed her terribly, he always did when they were apart for too long. he knew she liked to make herself out as some terrible girlfriend, but aside from music she was the light of his life. just her presence brought him such happiness and peace. 

he mulls over his admiring thoughts of her as he stirs the batter for their cake. he had argued hard for chocolate but in the end they ended up going with lemon instead. it was more refreshing for the oncoming summer weather. “should the icing be lemon too them? we have some leftover lemons we can grate for zest.” sometimes he couldn’t believe he knew so many cooking and baking terms as a guy, but at least the baking was common ground for him and wendy. “we could even just make a glaze and throw some powdered sugar on top instead.”

@rkwendy 

[rkhugo]

rkhosung‌:

( kkt ✉ ➟ work husband )

✉ ➟ omg ✉ ➟ I’m literally like 10 secs away from u ✉ ➟ hang tight I’ll bring you water and snuggies ✉ ➟ scoot over in bed so I have space ✉ ➟ you’re a tall boy ✉ ➟ do want a snack too?

[ kkt ; double h ] nono just water plz~ [ kkt ; double h ] i am scooted :3 [ kkt ; double h ] you’re the best ;n;

[rkhugo]

@per_sehg

it’s getting hot again.. don’t forget to buy your hand fans and drink lots of water!

[rkhugo]

[ kkt > double h ] hey [ kkt > double h ] hey [ kkt > double h ] heyyyyyyyyy [ kkt > double h ] wanna bring me some water plz? [ kkt > double h ] and snuggles? i would like some snuggles plz [ kkt > double h ] but also water. plz.

@rkhosung

[rkhugo]

back at it.

it was honestly amazing to be back with the group doing schedules. his foot had been a little sore at first, but he had powered through it, determined to get back to per_se as soon as possible. he couldn’t let the injury and the sitting and waiting around plague him into his dark thoughts about not being good enough anymore. he had to prove to both his members and himself why he was there. 

the guerilla performance was the perfect thing to showcase his essential role to the group with. he loved the spontaneity of the performance, and he adored that it was just a giant surprise for the fans. he had so much energy when they darted over to the designated spot and started doing their performance. mostly it was because he was back with his boys, showing what the choreography for fanfare was supposed to look like, showing the people what they had been preparing for months. it felt so good, so right even, to be doing this with his bandmates. 

seeing the fans and being this close to them while performing was really, really cool though. he liked how intimate it was, being so close to everyone, and it was hard to resist the urge to wave at everyone and reach out for them. he wanted to just run around and hug everyone! he was just so insanely happy to be back with per_se and to be with the fans too.

[rkhugo]

HE'S BACK!

it felt so good to be back with per_se, promoting. he still had to take things easy, but the relief to be promoting with them again was unreal! he had especially been looking forward to this schedule, where they would do the dance part switch. 

now, hugo knew it was only supposed to be the dance parts that switched, but the fact that he was getting jungwoo’s role was amazing to him. from main rapper to main vocal in an instant. in his mind, he had to sing the part as well as dance it. hugo was back, and he had to make his presence known. he apologizes to the staff ahead of time, telling them that main vocalist hugo would work hard while performing the new formations. 

and then he screeches.

every time he comes up, he screams jungwoo’s vocal parts, staring dead into the camera lens with such burning intent. he isn’t trying to sing properly at all, because he knows he can carry a tune vocally. he just wanted to be dumb, and goofy, and hilarious, so he screams those high notes, even when jungwoo isn’t front and center but he’s supposed to be riffing. hugo just makes his lungs explode with noise, sounding like a dying village with how loud he is, and he knows that a couple of the mess ups are because of his random screaming of high notes that come out of nowhere and throw the others off. the best part is that he just takes it all so seriously, which makes it even more ridiculous. he had had the time to watch the choreo a lot on his time off so he wasn’t getting lost or bumping into people often when going to each of jungwoo’s spots (which honestly helped him feel a lot better about his capabilities, feeling like maybe he is good enough and the injury was just unfortunate). so, he had to be ridiculous and entertaining in a different way, so he was a screechy main vocal now. 

[rkhugo]

dont you make me-- dammit..

[rkhugo]

haknyeonrk‌:

it’s the kind of job that requires a lot of physical activity, the kind that sometimes strains you. and haknyeon’s well aware of that, having suffered a few nosebleeds before and a strained muscle here and there. but that was all that it was. when he’d heard that hugo would be unable to join them for their promotions, his eyes had widened, chest tightening. just how bad had hugo’s injury had been? just how much was his hyung suffering?

he walks into the older boy’s room, already feeling himself getting emotional. he’d told himself not to cry, to show hugo that he’d be alright, but the sight of the older boy smiling at him had haknyeon’s resolve already breaking.

settling onto hugo’s bed, he wordlessly looks at the older boy, whilst being uncharacteristically quiet. “really?” he asks, voice soft, eyebrows furrowed. he’s sure it isn’t something that’s a given in the industry, but per_se as a group had bonded rather well, and haknyeon had found himself easily bonding with hugo, the older boy someone that he’d constantly rely on. hugo was practically family to him now.

though hugo’s next words has haknyeon’s bottom lip quivering. “but,” he begins, stopping himself before a tear would slip out of his eye, “i don’t want more lines.” sure, haknyeon had been upset about the lack of lines he’d gotten, had sulked and found himself in a slump. but looking at hugo like this, the lines were the last thing on his mind. “i want you to get better and –– and perform on stage with me,” a tear slips through his eye and he quickly uses the back of his hand to wipe it away. 

when haknyeon starts to cry, hugo feels his own eyes start to water. nonono-- not the maknae. he couldn’t let haknyeon cry over him. god, how much damage was hugo’s incapability really doing here? it was much more than just causing an injury, it was causing discourse and strife in the group itself, and it was just proving that he wasn’t good enough to be in per_se with the rest of them. if they just hadn’t debuted hugo to begin with, all of these lines would’ve been hakneyon’s from the get-go and he wouldn’t have had to feel all the bad feelings he had over the distribution in the first place, nor would he feel so sad that hugo couldn’t join them for promotions. he’d just be his happy self. 

“i’m sorry...” hugo musters, a tear rolling down his cheek. he feels so horrible and so guilty looking at haknyeon now, and he starts to wipe at his own face to rid his skin of the salty stream on it. “i’m sorry hyung let you down.. that hyung isn’t good enough to keep up with the choreo. i’m sorry i’m leaving you on stage by yourself...” they were the rap line, him and haknyeon, and now the rapping was all on haknyeon’s shoulders. haknyeon was capable, of course, but hugo couldn’t help but feel like he was abandoning him with all the responsibility. “i’m so sorry... i’ll do better for you in the future, i don’t want you to worry about me. i’m supposed to take care of you and worry after you. i’m sorry i’m a burden.”

hugo is rambling at this point but he couldn’t help it. he was feeling a lot of emotions, a lot of pain and a lot of disappointment in himself. he was a hyung in this group, why wasn’t he acting like it? he wants to hug haknyeon but it feels selfish to right now. he doesn’t deserve comfort. 

[rkhugo]

gutted.

[rkhugo]

rkhosung‌:

hosung’s heart was broke as he heard hugo’s sobs, feeling his tears soak into the fabric of his t-shirt as he wept into his shoulder. a lump formed in his throat, his eyes threatening to start a waterworks of their own. he swallowed a couple of times as he looked up at the ceiling willing himself to not cry, he was there to cheer his friend on, not join in his misery. it was difficult, oh so difficult, since he could feel the sobs wracking hugo’s frame but he managed to keep the tears at bay.

quietly he shushed him, still rocking his body (he felt so small) in his lap, pressing small kisses to the crown of his head and forehead. hosung didn’t want hugo to feel like he’d let them down by being injured because that’s precisely what he would do in his shoes but he had no idea what to say to make it all better. so he just held him close. his friend. his partner.

his soulmate.

“hey, hey,” hosung said quietly nudging the other’s face up. gently he reached out to cup his face using his thumbs to wipe away some of the tears on his cheeks. “don’t apologise you numpty. this isn’t anything to be sorry for.” he’s sure hugo will protest and disagree but he’s was still going to try to make him see sense. “accidents happen and there’s nothing we can do to prevent them. and don’t say that this happened to you because you’re a shit dancer, because this happens to seasoned professionals too.” 

hosung leaned in to rest his forehead against hugo’s for a moment, his eyes closing to just enjoy the closeness of his friend. “don’t beat yourself up over this, my darling, my sunshine, my partner in crime. knowing you, you feel like this is all your fault but I’m here to tell you that it isn’t. of course it’s a regrettable situation but it is what it is. all that matters is what we can do to make it better.” he pressed a soft kiss to the other’s forehead comfortingly before leaning back to study him, wondering what he’d say in return.

as wonderful as all of hosung’s words were, as comforting as the warmth of his hold and the softness of his little kisses were, hugo still felt horrible. nothing really could cure him of feeling this way. he just had to feel all of these horrible emotions out and then eventually get back to working harder so he could be worthy of being in per_se. part of him almost felt some resentment towards their ceo for debuting him when he clearly wasn’t ready. this accident was proof that he wasn’t ready. 

he sobs for longer, trying to get it all out before he becomes composed enough to speak again. “i just... if i was a better dancer, this wouldn’t have happened.” and how could anyone tell him he was wrong? it wasn’t like nova was pushing him to do crazy stunts or anything. this was a choreography that all the others could do, hugo just wasn’t up to the standard that nova had for dance. the others were, so it wasn’t an out of reach thing. it wasn’t ridiculous to expect this level of performance from an idol. hugo simply wasn’t up to it. 

“it is my fault... i’m not good enough.” his throat constricts, feeling sore as he tries not to start another sob session. “they never should’ve debuted me. i can’t keep up with the choreo, that’s why i got hurt. i’m not good enough. hyun bin was wrong about me.” they should’ve just kept hugo as a producer or maybe a k-rapper. he could’ve gone on show me the money or something instead, and made his own music that way. he was just... not cut out to be an idol. 

“i don’t know what to do now.” he confesses. right now he feels like he should just leave the group, they’d be better off without him. his insecurities were ruthless and vicious when they got the upper hand on him. it was rare that they did, but when they did, they came at hugo and attacked him full force. “maybe i should just... leave. then you guys can look better on stage, be more cohesive, gain more fans...”

[rkhugo]

emo hours.

as if it wasn't enough crying with both hosung and haknyeon, now he had jungwoo at his side. it was just a vicious cycle of feeling horrible and sobbing his eyes out, it was just happening with each member as they came to check on him. 

“i can’t believe i’m sitting out..” he had felt bad being the only one in the group without a dance title. when he and jungwoo had first met, they were both incapable as dancers. somewhere along the way, jungwoo had improved and hugo hadn’t, at least not enough. he was doing his best to keep up, but it was really hard. this group was full of amazing dancers who all could’ve been main dancers in groups under different companies. nova was known for dance though, and how hugo had ended up here was becoming more and more of a mystery. he had been proud of jungwoo, but now it felt like even jungwoo wouldn’t be able to relate to what hugo was going.

hugo just wasn’t up to standard. 

he wasn’t good enough, even after debut. he thought the tough part was training and getting to debut, no. post debut, things just got harder. and the feeling of dragging the team down was like a growing storm cloud over his head. “i fucked up. i... i really suck, don’t i?” he feels god awful saying it, but he hopes jungwoo will just be straight and honest with him. 

@jungwoork

[rkhugo]

hate to break it to you.

OW.

that was the only thing on hugo’s mind the entire way to the hospital. ow, oW, OW. his foot hurt like a fucking bitch, but thankful he had restrained himself from cussing out loud in front of the coaches. he just let out a yell of pain, and from there just made groaning sounds of pain. in his head though? nothing but curses. he couldn’t walk on it, which was terrifying. all of this was terrifying, and it was only slowly starting to sink in after the consultation and x-rays with the doctor. 

all of this is scaring him as he registers it, but thankfully he has hui there with him. he reaches for hui’s hand, not one to usually lean on hui in such a way, but physical affection was what comforted him most. “hyung...” he swallows, feeling tears start to brim. had he fucked up here? “do you think--... do you think i’ll have to sit out?” he doesn’t dare look at hui when he says that, picking a spot on the floor across the room and staring at that instead. it’s too much to bear at the moment, the thought of not doing the comeback with his bandmates. he had worked so hard... but clear not enough. 

he’s glad he has such a good leader who had insisted on coming with him to the hospital so he wasn’t alone. he couldn’t help but feel sorry to him though. he had failed his hyung, how could he do that? he was letting down the others too, as the second oldest. he was part of hyung line, he had to set an example, and this wasn’t it. “i-i’m sorry.. i should’ve worked harder, been more careful-- i’m so sorry hyung...”

@rkhuidong 

[jungwoork]

a little surprise.

[rkhugo]

jungwoork‌:

he flinches at first when the crackers go off, the sound and sight of colorful paper drawing ribbons in the air entirely as unexpected as his forgotten annual occasion. but the shock lasts only a moment, and soon enough jungwoo realizes what hugo has done while he should have been resting and recovering. the smile that spreads across the boy’s face is slow, wide, excited and genuine as it all comes together. hugo did this for him. suddenly the tiredness is lifted from its deep seated home in his bones. he feels lighter, just a little bit euphoric, and he’d kiss hugo if he didn’t have some sense of decency still about him.

“oh my god, how did you do all this?” jungwoo bounds up to hugo with all the excitement of an overgrown puppy dog, wrapping his arms around him for a grateful hug-snuggle. “thank you so much, i love strawberry!” his favorite berry, close enough to his favorite fruit, not that he can recall ever mentioning that to hugo or any of the others before now. how had he known??

eyes go wide as he finally properly eyes up the cake, impressed despite not knowing at all how much work went into making it. for all jungwoo knows, it could have been a betty crocker box mix. not that it matters; he’d treasure it all the same. “you’re gonna eat it with me, right? with everyone? i can’t eat this all by myself!”

as shitty as hugo was feeling, jungwoo’s reaction wipes all of the depressive gunk in his soul away for the time. seeing the joy he had brought his beloved vocalist just made his heart happy. he feigns innocence for a moment before grinning. “i may or may not have called in the help of a few little elves. hugo’s helpers. or, helper i guess.” he was talking about his sister who was honestly always at his beck and call, especially now that he was injured. “she went and got what i needed and helped set up, so don’t worry, i didn’t fudge my foot any further.” he could see in jungwoo’s eye that that was on his mind, if only a little bit. 

he returns the hug happily, snuggling the cutie up in his arms and rubbing his back affectionately. hugo could be observant when he wanted to, and had noticed jungwoo pick strawberry flavored things from time to time, so he figured it was a safe bet. it came with the territory of living together - you picked up on things. he was sure jungwoo had picked up on hugo’s habits too, such as him sneaking honey butter chips whenever he was stressed out, or sleeping with one leg hanging off his bed and one shoved under his blanket for maximum temperature control.

“i’ll have a small piece. i shouldn’t eat too much since i’m resting and can’t really work it off just yet. it’s for you and the members, so enjoy~ oh! and don’t forget to make a wish and blow out the candles. quickly. i don’t think you wanna eat wax.” he laughs softly, rubbing jungwoo’s back and gesturing to the cake with his chin. the candles were still going and would probably start melting soon.