𝐆𝐎𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒.

gold was the color of the leaves when i showed you around centennial park. hell was the journey but it brought me heaven.

[rkjisoo]

do it for the girls,

rkashe​:

( ... )

jisoo’s utmost honesty comes out, and luna nods along. “i think you would fit well,” but maybe she’s biased. couldn’t anyone that wanted to be a part of the group fit, so long as they were willing to put the effort in to do so? jisoo was a good actress, too. luna had faith she could pull off any concept, even if she hated it. “but that would mean someone would have to leave, probably, and that isn’t ideal,” she laughs lightly. “but maybe seo jisub would want to add someone randomly. there used to be more members of luxe than there are now. it could be nice.” she already has a close friend in naeun in the group. having jisoo join her would be a dream.

luna smiles back. she has half a mind to ask her if she wants to skip training altogether. maybe, in the end, luna hasn’t changed that much after all. she doesn’t, though, and instead just smiles. “i’m worth getting in trouble for anyway, right?”

“right? i used to always want to head out but now i’m just—” she waves a hand in the air as she tries to find the right word to say. “—a homebody. there must be a really good reason before i can be encouraged to go out.” her youthful years were so exuberant and filled with experiences she would never think to go revisit today. so much has changed within the span of ten years; it was hard to believe that she used to do the things she did. jisoo supposes her teenaged self could not ever comprehend where she would be today too, if only she knew. her goals were so linear and just pointed to that one thing. now, it seems farther from her reach. was her decision to choose an idol company instead of an acting one the catalyst? perhaps, but she really was clouded by the fear that this was the only way. she supposes she would never know otherwise. “please, that would be wonderful. i would love to bring you to watch my only source of entertainment these days.” she smiles.

she casts the other a teasing glance —one that so very few people in her life gets to see— before asking her question. “why? what conspicuous places have you been visiting lately?” it was probably difficult that she had to be mindful of the fact that everywhere she goes, people might recognize her. freedom of mobility is limited then, especially if luna is the type to care about remaining invisible when she wants to.

“i definitely didn’t.” it was certainly an unexpected move from the company, but one that she believes they were correct in making. “i always thought sphere had you under their lock. i did not think they would ever let you go.” the negotiations must have been intense since she believes the other company would not just let go of one of their trainees whom they invested so much into just like that. either way, their loss was royal’s gain. jisoo could not imagine anyone else assimilating into the group as effortlessly as luna did. at least from an outsider’s point of view, it seems that she fit in amazingly well. 

“thank you but i agree, i think another member would have to leave for that to happen and it wouldn’t be the best.” perhaps the fans wouldn’t take too kindly to another lineup change, especially if she were to end up not being up to par to the skills of the others. either way, it would not seem like it would happen anyway. the group is already doing so well and she’s positive seo jisub would not want to shake what they already built. “who knows really, right? in the meantime, i would just take comfort in the fact that we will be sister groups in the future. they might even be endeared to our close friendship.” she says, the thought making her smile.

 jisoo nods her head as she looks at the older female with absolute affection. “of course you are, you will always be.” she laughs. “besides, you are the best person to get in trouble with so i can’t really complain.”

[rklisa-deactivated20210717]

— bet you wanna

@rkjisoo

she feels like making them all work at the isac is unpaid labor. why should she have to prepare lunch boxes when the idols are out there running relays and talking to their friends and probably dating? with all of them in an open space together like that, there’s no way some of them don’t secretly give each other their numbers. but she doesn’t complain about it too much, because at least they don’t have to prepare a performance, and she gets to pack lunches with jisoo so it’s not so bad.

“how do you think they date here?” she saw all the cameras everywhere, not to mention the fans in the stadium with big cameras and probably binoculars or something that would watch your every move. even interacting with someone of the opposite gender seems dangerous to her, or maybe she’s just a coward. “i could never, not with all the people here. but i heard this is where the idols go to date, so they must do it somehow.”

lisa puts a juicebox in a bag, handing it off to jisoo so she can put the next food item in. “how many more of these do we have to do? do you think they’ll let us eat some? because someone’s fans got pizza and it smells so good. they did say that we were going to have break, right? and what are they going to do with all those pizzas?”

[rkjisoo]

thinking that this would perhaps be the most menial task out of all the others, jisoo signed up for food preparation without hesitation. she would rather put stickers and organize boxes of food than to cheer for the idols she rarely knew or follow them around to take photographs. this task requires possibly the least interaction with all of them and for someone who would rather be anywhere else but here, this is all that matters. now if that does not make her sound like a complete downer, she would not know what else would.

“maybe they sneak in notes or something but that just makes it seem like they’re middle schoolers. ” came her response. as always, things are more interesting with lisa around. it is only with her that she gets to deliberate upon gossip like this with absolute interest. “right? this place is too highly surveilled. if i were them, i would just ignore my boyfriend. i mean, i wouldn’t be so starved for romance that i would go ahead and risk even suspicion.”

she proceeds to work on the task as lisa passes them to her. while it was monotonous, it was something that she quite enjoys. “i don’t know. we could finish this and they might just ask us to do another one.” she sighs softly. “i wish we can eat too. i saw chicken awhile ago and i really want a piece.” this committee isn’t the best when you’re starving.

[rkjisoo]

plastic flutes,

rklisa​:

“i think the fans would love it though, they love hearing love songs about boys.” and sometimes she does too. she will admit that there are moments when she puts on her guilty pleasure bubblegum pop love song just to get into a good mood. but she rarely ever feels like that, even if she does like someone it’s unlikely for her to like someone in that way. but then again, maybe she was never the most in touch with her own feelings, whether it was about training, or her uncertain future, or any feelings she has about anyone. the most opinion that she ever shares is about what she wants to eat for dinner, and she likes to keep it that way.

lisa nods, thinking about what she would make if she could write her own music, and coming up with nothing. “can you write songs though? i know i can’t. even if they let me i wouldn’t know what to do.” she doesn’t even think she can write lyrics, but maybe she’s just not the type who would be good at things like this. “the most i could do is probably choreograph something, wouldn’t that be kind of fun? if someone else can write the music and i can choreograph, we can basically make an entire comeback by ourselves.” she takes another sip of her champagne, putting her flute down and leaning back. “yeah you’re right, i think sometimes people change their minds. but there’s nothing wrong with not having kids too, i think a lot of people with no kids have really fun lives.”

“that’s true but does it always have to be a love song about boys?” she asks with a tinge of exasperation. “what if we just sing about love in general and leave it at that. i think i would be a lot more happy.” have people guess who they are singing about or interpret it in their own way. jisoo would not mind singing about love so much if that would be the case. besides, there are different variations of love. it would be great if in the future, they can be allowed to sing about not just romantic love. she would be thrilled to sing a powerful female anthem that celebrates love amongst friends or even one that is an open letter of appreciation for the people who supports them. the options are endless.

taking a sip of her drink, she shakes her head. “i don’t know how to yet but i would like to learn. i’m thinking about asking for a more in-depth songwriting lesson just to make things more interesting.” and to better equip her with skills that might prove useful in the future. if she wants to have a semblance of creative direction, this should be a good place to start. “once i’m good at songwriting, i’m positive that we can do that. the worst that they can do is to say no, then we can just try all over again the next time.” imagine, a song written by her and choreographed by lisa. if that would be a guaranteed success then the world is their oyster. “right? you’re literally only just looking after yourself in that instance. having children is a huge responsibility. if you know you’re not in the right space to have one, you’re doing yourself and your hypothetical child a huge favor by not having them.”

[yuzurk]

⇢ request received: @rkjisoo !

leaving behind these walls felt weird. it had not even been a year since she had first come here and now she was leaving. like a flicker in everyone’s life she had come, brought values, taken some, made friends and now moved on to bigger things they all were hoping to achieve. she felt bad in a way. everyone had been waiting for their chance for so long and here yuzu was, coming in, sweeping everything and yeeting out to grab the dream everyone had been aiming for.

everyone but her.

with a sigh she rounded the corner, almost running into someone. “oh sorry- ah… jisoo eonni.” voice hesitative she hadn’t actually really spoken to anyone since moving to join the project. while she knew none of them would hold it against her, there was still a feeling of dread to actually bring the matter up. perhaps now was the time she’d actually have to say something.

[rkjisoo]

purposeful steps aim to take her somewhere for a little reprieve in the daily mayhem. nearly three years later and she finds that she still needs time in order to breathe a little air into her lungs when things get a little too busy for her liking. while training had become more dreary these days, that is not to say that it’s less exhausting. the days just began on blurring together that it has come to the point where it is difficult to differentiate yesterday from today. when did this feeling even started for her? jisoo cannot quite tell.

her lazy focus was taken when she stops immediately to avoid bumping into someone else. once she sees who it was, she releases a sigh of relief. “it’s okay, don’t worry about it.” she smiles. it’s been awhile since she last saw the younger girl and jisoo feels the rush of seeing someone who used to be so close. “how are you? congratulations by the way. i’m really proud of you.” she says with utmost sincerity.

[rkjisoo]

plastic flutes,

rklisa​:

“me neither, how many times have we said men aren’t shit?” she sighs, because knowing the music in this industry, she can guess that it’s more likely than not that they’ll get a song singing about boys, that or some kind of weird “fuck the haters!” lyrics that might be even more cringey because of how tryhard they are. if those are the choices, then she would honestly rather just sing about her crushes because at least that’s a little less embarrassing, even if it’s not ideal. but she doesn’t expect to have a say in any of this, so it’s all hypothetical anyways, if she actually even gets there in the first place.

“i mean i guess i don’t mind as long as we debut. it would suck but hopefully we would get more creative direction at some point. or even if we don’t then at least if the fans like it then we’ll still get money.” which is really her end goal anyways, so if she has to wear puffy dresses and talk about men then so be it. but she looks quickly at jisoo in surprise. “you don’t want to be a mother? ever?” she’s pretty sure they’ve had discussions like this before, but it surprises her every time. lisa has always been self centered and maybe she didn’t really seem like the type of person who would want to dedicate her life to children, but she’s always seen herself being a mother sometime in the future. “i guess that’s fair, but what if the person you marry wants kids?”

“right,” an eye roll; simply incapable of letting the topic go without a dismissive gesture. “i suppose when that time comes, we would just have to swallow our personal grudges and suck it up.” another thing to add in the laundry list of sacrifices that they had to make. this might be a lot easier to fake, though. jisoo presumes she can endure singing songs about men for a month and then forget about it as soon as promotions are over. while it may be a tiresome cycle, still, she figures it’s a chance she would have to take if she wants to make this work. at this point, she really does want to make it work.

“i hope so too. at the very least, we would probably only endure it for a few years or even better, a few comebacks before we ask for opportunities to create our work. the fans might appreciate our involvement a lot more too.” fans love to boast about the people they support and them being a part of the creative process seems to be something the fans are all particularly itching to talk about. jisoo believes it would be nice to give them something to be proud about and she thinks singing about men constantly won’t be it. in a hypothetical world where they’ve already debuted, this is the scenario. alas, reality is quite different but she hopes that eventually it would be the same. “well the me that i am today definitely wouldn’t want one but that isn’t to say that my future self would think the same.” she answers. “perhaps it’ll be a matter of time. who knows, right?”

[blackpinknet]

JISOO ♡ ‘LOVESICK GIRLS’ MUSIC VIDEO

[rkjisoo]

JULY 2020 EVALUATIONS. ✰ song. SOLO  zodiac. CAPRICORN

“capricorns are quite possibly the most independent people i have ever met.”

there was no denying that she feels a sort of understanding with everything that she had read upon her research. in fact, jisoo feels read. how even the most complicated wirings in her brain and the deepest part of her soul gets the kind of validation it deserves by way of generalized descriptions is beyond her but for some reason, it just does. 

she supposes this is why she chose this particular song, though. everything about it just spoke to her. the way it vied for independence and the understanding that this person shines better when they’re unburdened by the reliance of something that was shackling. these are things jisoo had learned early on in life. it was why she was so self-reliant because she knew that she can never truly trust anyone else but herself if she wants to succeed at something.

“they strive to be the best version of themselves, but don’t need recognition from others.”

the performance starts off slowly. the movements weren’t difficult at all during the first portion of the song and she’s able to let loose and allow her body to flow naturally. she was not and never will be the company’s best dancer but she thinks she has improved well enough over her time spent training within the walls of royal entertainment. by now, she can easily distinguish what she can be able to do with ease and what requires more consistent effort.

this one definitely falls on the former.

she sings about being solo and of the heartbreak that comes with the fall of a relationship despite being in a wonderfully flourishing one. still, the song was charming enough that she doesn’t need to fake sadness as she performs it. instead, she can gaze coldly at the camera that records her performance. to oblige upon showcasing attitude is something she would always happily do.

the second verse comes and she tries her hand at the english portion despite her lack of rapping skills. jisoo did not attempt to overdo it; she just performed it with simplicity. one would say that she did not even try rapping but given that she does not have the talent for it, they were all better off with her subdued version.

finally, the last few seconds of the song arrives. she had practiced the dance break the most and as she moves, she hopes she was able to give it justice. well, as close to justice as her skills provide. as she sings the last line, she closes her performance by walking away as soon as she turns. once the song fades, she faces her coaches to bow politely before stepping away completely.

while this may not be her favorite performance she’s done, she thinks it has merit in the way that it was able to show a significant part of herself. this was able to show that even if she is not yet at her best, she would be. come the time when they need her to, she would get there.

it is a promise she makes for herself as much as she makes it for them.

“and because of this, capricorns are determined to achieve what they want, when they want it.”

[rkjisoo]

september 2020 evaluations      ─   preparations   ✰

this month’s evaluation requires a lot of research and in some ways, self-reflection. jisoo supposes that if one were to truly know what song resonates with them best, they have to understand their personality first. lucky for her, her sense of self-awareness ranks fairly high in the list of things she is capable of in that she knows what aspects of her zodiac sign speaks to her, and what doesn’t.

it is all so very general. she understands that some people do not identify with the given zodiac descriptions they happen to fall into. after all, these zodiac signs are hardly the be all end all of personality archetypes. even so, jisoo enjoys unearthing them—finds pleasure in being able to resonate with what every post out there outlines for each sign. she likes this so much that she even has an application on her phone which tells her what the universe wants to remind her of in that moment or in that day. it feels so strongly like a guiding star to help her in situations where she feels lost.

despite all her bravado, she still feels lost some days.

there are several options to choose from and given that she adheres to how capricorns are mostly described, it was just a matter of choosing what song she thinks she would be capable of performing. there was one she thinks would have been perfect but the choreography was a little too challenging for her tastes. it took a few more clicks here and there when finally, she finds the perfect one.

the description written on the bottom half of the screen calls out to her perfectly. it’s me, she thinks with a slight proud smile. 

with her heart and mind having chosen, she immediately sets out to practicing the song. the only downside was the song had a rap verse but truthfully, it does not even feel like one. it was in english, though, so it could be a lot worse. she would just have to try her hand at it and see if the flow would fit. if not, well, adjustments can be made.

the choreography was not complicated too; a lot of upper body movements that requires just the right amount of effort. this would perhaps be considered one of the mildest dances she ever had to perform thus far. jisoo knows she should be able to do well on it with enough practice.

this performance would require attitude and she would like to believe she’s charismatic enough to put that in the table. it may now show but she quite enjoys listening to these types of songs. it’s very empowering and would allow her to show a sultrier side of herself that is otherwise often concealed. 

there is a sense of satisfaction that settles within her every time she finishes a rehearsal session. each day proves to be better than the last and she can only hope that this would follow her until the last day of the month when she has to perform this piece. to show a different side of herself this time around is something that she is surprisingly looking forward to doing.

after all, the description does say that capricorns are always striving to show a better side of themselves.

it just fits.

[rkjisoo]

feel something.

rkrose​:

amidst her moping, stumbling into the apartment and collapsing onto the nearest somewhat flat and comfortable surface, rose hadn’t noticed the older female sitting in their lounge room. jisoo looks comfortable, relaxed; far from rose’s current state of exhaustion. she awkwardly shakes her head. “nope, far from.” rose murmurs. she manages to push herself up into a sitting position, brushing stray strands of hair back from her face. she then loosens the tight ponytail atop of her head, once lilac toned hair, now silver, falls around rose’s face. she manages a sigh.

“just one of those days, i guess.” rose says with a shrug, fiddling with hair tie around her wrist. she glances across to jisoo and gives the older female a smile. “it’s okay though, i’m home now. all is well.” she wasn’t lying though. she felt an instant sense of calm wash over her the moment she stepped through their front door. even if she had stumbled down the hall and fallen flat on her face, home was the one place that hadn’t changed in some while for her. it hadn’t had to.

rose scratches her head, figuratively. she wasn’t sure. she had eaten today at some point but it probably wasn’t half as appetizing as one would hope. she looks around awkwardly, biting her lip. “i won’t say no to that if you’re offering,” rose chimes softly. she didn’t want to inconvenience jisoo though. but how could she say no? “salmon, hey? it’ll be great, i’m sure. i put my trust in you.” rose gives the older female a little clap. she wonders if she could stand long enough to actually help jisoo with dinner, considering she would be the one eating part of it.

unfortunately, days like so are a commonplace for adults like them. jisoo can understand. sometimes, there are no rational explanations as to why they happen or why they won’t stop happening. they just do. terrible days are plenty and scattered in-between great and average days. as they go about their daily life, it is often just a question of what kind of day awaits them as soon as the morning sun rises. yet just as soon as it starts, it is also quick to end. jisoo supposes that is what is good about it; the tide will turn once you close your eyes and fall into sleep.

“that’s good to hear.” she answers, a small comforting smile on her lips. “at the very least, you can rest and relax now. truthfully, i don’t know what home holds but i always feel ten times better as soon as i step through our door when i’m having a bad day.” perhaps it is because this is the only place in the world where she knows with absolute certainty that there are no expectations needed from her. it is here that when she fucks up, things would still remain the same.

immediately standing up, she walks the short distance towards their kitchen. “perfect, i can make it right now for the both of us.” the meat was already out and defrosting so she sets out to gather all the other ingredients needed for the recipe. “thank you. fair warning, though, this would be my first time making this.” there is an amused glint in her eyes. “so i apologize in advance for turning you into my guinea pig. if it’s bad, just be perfectly honest.” she laughs a little as she picks up a chopping board. “i would appreciate it very much.”

[rkjisoo]

it’s a cruel summer,

rklisa​:

“ohh….kim soohyun…” she says slowly, weighing the option in her head. on one hand, he’s cute and tall and seems like he would be a nice person. on the other, he’s not really her type. but also, he’s famous and maybe a little bit out of her league but isn’t it better to aim high? she would never settle for someone who she thought didn’t deserve her. plus, kim soohyun is rich enough to date even if he wasn’t good looking, and these days that’s her only real requirement, so that if she decides she wants to quit the idol life after all she still has something to fall back on. “yeah, i would give kim soohyun my number. even if i just go on one date at least i can say i did.”

“let’s just get lots of flavors.” the best thing about eating ice cream at home is that no one is there to control the portions. instead of the one tiny scoop that they get here ( a tactic to control their sugar intake, she’s sure ), she can eat an entire thing straight from the carton with a spoon if she wants and no one can say anything except her stomach which would no doubt not be happy with her afterwards. but it’s not that she actually wants to do it, she just wants to have the option. even here, technically they didn’t say she couldn’t have seconds but she doesn’t believe that there’s no one watching and making note.

“let’s go tonight? we can get ice cream and whipped cream and make milkshakes. where’s rose?” she looks around for their other friend, not seeing her immediately so she saves it for later. “we should ask her what ice cream she wants too. we can have a little sleepover! pull some blankets into the living room and sleep there for the night, wouldn’t that be fun?”

“i heard he’s the highest paid actor right now.” she says, a glimmer of admiration quickly passing before her eyes. aside from the fact that he is generally very pleasing to look at, his achievements as an actor alone is enough for jisoo to name him as the man worthy of getting into a dating scandal with. “he’s probably untouchable already this far into his career. unfortunately, i presume the same can’t be said for whoever he would eventually end up dating, especially if it’s a woman.” at this, she wrinkles her nose in disappointment. as in most cases, it is the lesser famous party or the woman that gets the short end of the stick. such is the law of society and she can only hope for them to recover from it.

jisoo nods her head in agreement. “the more the merrier, i like it.” her sweet tooth does not always manifest but when it does, it is very hard to control. there are days when she can go on eating the unholiest of sweet snacks before she recognizes what she’s doing and curbs it by exercising or by eating her greens. ice cream, at least, seems a far greater treat than chocolates or cookies; she wouldn’t feel the judgment of it when she eats. 

“oh, that sounds heavenly. it would be a nice change too.” there nights are starting to blur together with not a significant activity to put one on a pedestal over the rest. not that such a thing is necessary but for all their hard work, they deserve something to treat themselves with every now and again. “i think it would be nice if we can do that once a month. choose a day where we can all gather in the living room to watch movies and drink milkshakes.” jisoo smiles. “calorie count be damned.” 

[rkjisoo]

plastic flutes,

rklisa​:

in an alternate universe, jisoo and lisa would be regular girls living in an apartment together, enjoying all that seoul has to offer. they would throw parties together, combining jisoo’s expertise and lisa’s sense of aesthetics ( and probably more of jisoo’s cooking, because it definitely wouldn’t be lisa’s ). but instead of all that, they’re stuck day and night in the royal building, surrounded by loud music and studio walls with barely even a window to look at the sunlight. time passes differently there, slow and fast at the same time.

“yeah, and we can’t spend our entire twenties on this. and then what’s going to happen if we do debut? we dance around in dresses singing about oppas? no thank you, i would rather not.” but at this point, she’s also aware that she doesn’t have a lot of life skills at this point, and giving up means having to start over from the beginning, build up her brand somehow and make an entire career by herself, which doesn’t sound particularly fun either. so maybe it’s all up in the air, and with the recent opportunities she’s been getting from royal, maybe it’s not so bad either. “well, we’ll see about all of that. you know i’m not really rushing to be a mom right now, but if i am, of course you’ll be the godmother! i wouldn’t trust anyone else. but we’ll see how it goes.”

there are many times when she wonders if she would still be in seoul today, had she not signed a contract with the company all those years ago. when would she have determined that coming back here was a seemingly lost cause? what could possibly drive her back to the enclaves of chicago? it was a train of thought that typically takes her nowhere because there is always more than just one answer to such questions. at the end of the day, they’re not even worth entertaining because this is her life now. a life of her own choosing and sometimes, suffering.

“exactly.” she answers with the kind of passion she did not think she has; not when it comes to being an idol. “i would hope for some variety for i really don’t think i can stomach singing about adoring men so excessively.” the mere thought is enough to make her shudder. jisoo can endure plenty of things and can act through even the most unfathomable situations but she simply cannot imagine spending the rest of her twenties singing about men, of all people. she hopes royal knows better than to put their idols through that but given that they only have money making in mind, jisoo wouldn’t put it past them. “of course. either way, i don’t really see us ever reaching that point until perhaps ten or fifteen years down the line. to be honest, i don’t even know if i ever want to be a mother.” she takes a sip of her drink.

[rkrose]

feel something.

♡ ╎ @rkjisoo ;

rose’s feet feel heavy as she trudges up the hallway of her apartment complex, fumbling for her keycard that’s somewhere in her bag. her apartment feels like it’s a million miles away, even if it’s only a few floors up. it’s just been one of those days. one of those incredibly long, tiresome and beyond frustrating days. for the most part, when she was in a good headspace, rose enjoyed her training. it was bearable, sometimes even pleasant. she would go to seocho or royal, endure her lessons, practice her evaluations and over lunch she would converse with her friends and her fellow trainees. it was easy done, a routine almost. but today … everything just went wrong.

she miraculously makes it into the elevator, white knuckles on the railings as she braces herself for the few second ride up to their floor. rose dips out and shuffles down the hall, eager to discard her bags and fall face first into her bed or whatever soft surface she can find herself. without any hesitation, she unlocks the door of jisoo, lisa and her’s apartment and inside she goes, kicking off her sneakers before stumbling down the hall. she manages to kick the door to her bedroom open with her heel on the way, tossing her bag into the room as she b-lines for the living room.

and onto the couch she flops, face first. rose flails her limbs for a moment, but she’s relieved to be home. she feels like she’s been lying there for a good while. with much effort, rose manages to roll onto her side only to be greeted by her beloved housemate. “evening, jisoo.” she chimes, giving jisoo a little wave.

[rkjisoo]

she was home earlier than the other girls that day; the eagerness to wash off a day’s worth of exhaustion the very motivation that has her running for their doors as soon as the work hour ends. jisoo was ready to let the night run its course. preferably with good food and some entertainment. her evening routine circles around the promise of relaxation these days and maybe that is because she thinks this is truly what she needs the most. her days of shopping until her feet aches were long over. after all, nothing can quite make her feel like a normal human being than whatever it is that their home can offer as a remedy.

with her legs tucked comfortably underneath her body, she was nursing a cold glass of lemon water while exchanging messages with her mother. the living room is empty except for her, and noiseless except for her occasional sighs of frustration or short bouts of laughters as she reads her mother’s messages. when she hears the front door unlock, a greeting was poised at the tip of her tongue but she pauses, watching rose basically drag herself around the apartment. the younger’s exhaustion is unmistakable so much that she fails to feel her presence as another occupant of the room. maintaining her silence for rose’s benefit, she waits until the other turns to take notice of her. when she does, jisoo smiles softly.

“evening.” she murmurs in response. “not a good one, i suppose?” placing her phone down, her mind immediately refocuses on the task she’s about to embark on. “have you eaten? i can cook dinner for us. while i’m not the best at it yet, the salmon recipe i found online promised to be easy enough for my skills.” hopefully, food can help ease rose’s tiredness even for a tiny bit.

[rkjisoo]

do it for the girls,

rkashe​:

( ... )

seeing jisoo here, and hearing her mention home makes her think of everyone she’s fallen out of contact with, and everyone out of her reach. she thinks of being away from her family for seven years, and how much her siblings have grown up without her, even with all of their video calls. the twins were still children when she left for seoul, and now they’re the age she was when she moved in the first place. it’s almost incomprehensible how quickly time flies, and how this city has managed to hold her down so long when the 18 years beforehand were spent on airplanes, traveling from city to city, not committing to anything. she’ll have to video call the rest of her family too as soon as she can. with luxe’s crazy schedule, they’ve fallen off a bit.

jisoo feels like family of a sort too, as many of her friends that survived luna’s journey across seas and countries do. she would love to have her in luxe with her, but maybe her friend makes a point when she says she wouldn’t fit. luna can imagine it well, but she trusts jisoo’s judgment, and she says the words without bitterness, so luna knows she must really mean them. then again, she doubts jisoo would sugarcoat any of her feelings with her, even if she did want her spot in luxe. “who knows what could happen,” she comments with a shrug, realizing the vagueness of the statement, but it’s true. who among them can guess royal’s future plans? she’s glad to hear jisoo is doing well enough, though. her lips quirk up in a tiny smile. “that’s good. not the restless part, but, you know.” it’s just part of training sometimes; they both know that.

“do you have anywhere else to be right now? am i going to get you in trouble?” she laughs, although she doubts jisoo will mind much regardless.

if it were up to her, she would have loved to meet with luna every few days or so. definitely not every day because aside from the fact that the older is incredibly busy, jisoo does not want for her to get tired of her presence that easily. quite frankly, she enjoys the feeling of being missed just as much as feels it for others. the pleasure of seeing each other after awhile makes the reunion a lot more cherished. “i’m really not. aside from the normal training hours, i do not get up to a lot these days other than the occasional treat where i watch musical theatre.” she answers thoughtfully. “i don’t know if it’s a by-product of getting old or just because i have awful stamina but staying at home has been my favorite after work activity.”

she doesn’t quite know when that started to happen but maybe homebodies truly know a thing or two about what they are saying when they say that everything is better at home. “although of course when you’re free, i would love to meet up somewhere else. i think it would be nice to hang out outside of the company.” someplace where they do not have to feel restricted and where they can talk and lounge more languidly. besides, she thinks it would feel more nostalgic if they were to go out. like old times but in this case, in an entirely different city. “we can go to inconspicuous spots, i’m sure there are a lot around here.”

jisoo laughs a little as she nods her head in agreement. “that’s true, we never really know what kind of plans they would pull out.” it can be just about as shocking as their past decisions or not at all but she supposes that is a part never being in the know. they are left to make assumptions only to be railroaded by something else entirely. “it would be nice to be a part of the group though, i’m not going to lie.” she says after some consideration. “i mean you and seolhyun are there so it wouldn’t be completely unfamiliar but aside from that, i think it would be great to finally witness the fruit of my labor. just to let me know i’m actually doing something worthwhile here.” those were the full and honest extent of her thoughts; words she’s unafraid to let go only because it’s luna who she’s sharing it with. 

“it’s okay. i think can stick around for a couple more minutes.” she smiles. the worst they can do if they catch her slacking off would probably be just a few extra rounds at the treadmill or whatever they can concoct for her that day.

[rkjisoo]

remember forever,

yuzurk​:

never one to yield to gender rules or double standards, yuzu has remained stubborn even if she’s very aware of them. despite what kind of awareness and knowledge she shares with jisoo right now, yuzu doesn’t let it stop her nor faze her in anyway.

so she merely shrugs her shoulders and inhales a long breath before exhaling it in a rush. “well, ‘t is what ‘t is, i personally ain’t bothered. I’mma just do m’thing n’ be grateful for whoever’s gon’ support me, y’know?” and easy smile on her lips, yuzu pulls her legs to her chest and twirls her phone across her index finger casually.

“ain’t no use gettin’ all up yer head ‘bout how unfair the world is. if yer want change, y’gotta prod for it bit by bit and just continue t’live by yer own standards,” she offers her mindset before focusing her gaze on her phone. “if I ever do make it, I’m gon’ stick by that two years rule n’ the see if me n’ sese wanna reveal what we got. regardless if any bans, I ain’t need anyone t’know. I much prefer my privacy.”

the tone of resilience she is able to pick up from the younger’s words leaves a lot to be admired. jisoo believes it takes a lot of confidence from someone to admire that they do not mind losing the support of many so long as you get to maintain the true few.

in a lot of ways, she adheres to that kind of thinking too. while she lives for the applause and admiration of many people, she does not think being subjected to hearing a few is not such a bad consequence if she gets to live her authentic self in exchange. “i agree. in fact, i think that kind of set up would be incredibly rewarding since you know that the people who decided to stick around did so for they genuinely like you.”

the world they live in can be disappointingly superficial at times. there’s great merit to be found in being supported and admired for who you really are, rather than other people’s projection of you. “that’s a very optimistic mindset you have.” jisoo commends, smiling softly at yena. it is true that you learn just about new things every day. “makes me wonder if i can be just as patient for our two years. if and whenever that would happen.” yena’s honesty finally prods at her own.

[bubblegeon]

200822 instagram update ✧*:･:･ sooyaa__

[rkjisoo]

AUGUST 2020 EVALUATIONS. ✰ concept. NIGHTCLUB

dressed in an all black ensemble, lips painted a light shade of red, and hair left straight and falling past her waist, it takes her a lot of self-control not to stare at a mirror every time she passes by one.

to say that she’s pleased with the outcome of the look she has put together would be an understatement. before she had decided upon this concept, there were a hundred other considerations filtering through her busy head. in the end, she noticed that she photographs best when her eyes are ablaze with intensity and when there is not a single trace of a smile tugging at her lips. while she is sure that she can pull of a bright concept too, she felt it was better to stick with what she’s certain she can ace by the the end of the day.

the set was relatively simple although the added variety makes it a touch more interesting than the usual plain backdrop and studio lights. she patiently waits for her turn, making sure that nothing is amiss as she does so. once she was called, she was first taken to the white blocks outside of the ball pit and asked to find her place.

it is arguably challenging to find your angles when you’re seated. some poses might look stiff, awkward, and completely out of the place. still, she makes it work. for her first few shots, she drapes her legs on on side, her torso leaning on the other as she props herself with an arm. as soon as the camera starts clicking, jisoo keeps her eyes trained on its lenses. with her chin held high and her dark hair delicately framing her features, she parts her lips slightly to give off the kind of seductive aura she hopes to emulate. she moves around, sometimes pushing herself a little higher or moving her free arm in different ways.

repositioning herself, she brings her legs down and turns her upper body halfway. this position would give them ample opportunity to take shots of her face from a different angle but as it was more difficult than the first, she only does it for a couple more seconds before moving on to the next.

this time, she stands up as she was informed they’ll start taking closer shots. now with better mobility, she’s able to experiment with different poses in short spans of time. after one shot is taken, she moves to another, and then another, and then another. she plays around with her hands, using the dramatic nails become some sort of a prop. at one point, she even covers up the lower half of her face with both hands, letting only her gazes shine through. it proved to be a fun little experiment and they seemed to be appeased with the result.

it wasn’t long before her session ends. as she prepares to leave the set, she bows thankfully at the people who guided her. she was given the chance to look at some of the photos and she smiles slightly at the sight of herself inside the screen. choosing to go for the more darker concept was definitely a striking idea and one that she mentally pats herself in the back for.

[rkjisoo]

august 2020 evaluations       ─   preparations   ✰

the little reprieve from performance based evaluations is something she is grateful for. as she settles down in a room filled with other trainees for a modeling lesson, there is a lighter feeling in her system. as opposed to when she’s facing floor length mirrors, learning a choreography exhaustively.

modeling is not new to her. in fact, it is one of the few things she knows she can excel at. jisoo always knew that she was one of the luckier ones in that she was born with a pretty face. given such assets, she would be foolish to shelter it from the eyes of the world. with as much energy as she can, she takes pictures and posts them on various social media sites. vain as it may appear, she enjoys the compliments people have often thrown her way. she is after all her mother’s daughter and from a young age, she has always been poised to take esteem where there is something to be proud of.

the trainee takes notes of the lessons divulged for them that day. as she watches the professional pose in front of the camera, she takes notice of how much she poses and the amount of emotion she puts into each take. there was an emphasis on how one should always know where their angles are to make every shot worth it. not everyone has the time to sit in front of the camera all day and not every model would have the enduring stamina to do the same thing. to get as many shots as possible before the exhaustion becomes apparent in the model is something that they put a lot of importance in as well.

at the end of the week’s session, jisoo thinks she can do this with exceptionally. with everything they talked about taking root in her mind, she practices at home by taking headshots of herself. they were not nearly as professional but she does feel a sense of satisfaction whenever she uproots her camera and checks whatever is taken. with each passing the day, an idea starts taking root inside her head and before she knows it, she already knows what she wants to do.

the end of august couldn’t have come fast enough.