kino finds himself in berlin
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@rkkhg
kino finds himself in berlin
take the lead
@rkkhg
the month was just starting, but as every month since he joined the company, he was already thinking about what he wanted to do for this eval. this month was more of a creative leap than the last few ones where they were given a more strict idea to follow. but honestly doyum isn’t one to be very creative when it comes to performances–not often at least. he enjoys dancing and performing but covers, or something someone made for him to learn. he’s never been great with creating his own performance.
but he knows someone who is and that’s why the teen finds himself cornering one kang hyunggu in seocho, aka just happened to enter the same practice room the older was using. he had been looking for him but he didn’t expect it to go that easily.
“ggu hyung!” he greets a touch more cheerful sounding than he normally does. there’s an actual spark of emotion in both his voice and face that so few ever get to see from him ( his bff and bf being really the only ones ). he’s just always so happy to see hyunggu, someone he has admired for years and looked up to in regards to performing and dance. he thinks back to busking days before they were friends and when doyum had merely been a fan.
he moves in and latches onto hyunggu without a moment of hesitation, clearly happy to see the older male. “do you have a group for this months eval? do you want to work with me? we never get to do anything together anymore.” yes. he’s whining.
again, only with hyunggu does doyum tend to be more baby.
after hearing about what the evaluation was, he already had so many ideas running through his mind. he had been a choreographer before he was a trainee, and it was still something that he was passionate about. it’s a bit of a shame that they had been having more vocal based evaluations as of late, or ones that had come with a set choreography that they needed to learn. there’s nothing really in it for him, so he’s been doing covers on the side that he uploads to youtube whenever he has time to sit down and edit a bit.
so this eval is one that gets him super excited. he was originally planning to do it alone, always finding that it was easy to choreograph something for himself rather than doing group ones -- not that he minded doing group ones, but sometimes he just enjoyed being by himself and leaning only on himself.
but those thoughts go out the window when doyum comes into his practice room, considering he had chosen to practice at seocho today rather than at sphere. he turns to glance at the younger, waving at him mid-stretch before continuing. hyunggu isn’t too sure what the other trainee is coming to bother him for, but he would never say no to a visit from his pseudo-son.
it’s not too much after that he finds himself with a clingy doyum, and he just laughs, hugging the younger back. he’s never been one to shy away from affection, and his eyes are bright, a laugh leaving his lips as he’s attacked. he doesn’t mind at all though, and he’s already reworking his plans for this month when the younger asks if he wants to work with him.
“nope, don’t have a group yet,” he reassures doyum with a pat to his head, laughing. “i have some ideas already, but of course you can join! you can let me know if any of them sound interesting -- and if not, we can always run over other songs, yeah?”
。˚∘ sphere flyers! #7
@rkchungha
“don’t you say a damn thing,” chungha says pointedly, holding out a flyer to him. last year she had condemned his decision to join the mgas. her own bitter feelings towards the competition had sullied her opinion of it altogether. she wasn’t expecting her friend to fail but she wouldn’t have been surprised. but he had done her one better and actually succeeded. chungha was proud of him.
but damn did she know he would never let her live this down now that she’s signed again. especially not after she had a whole tantrum about being dropped from kt. (she claims she hates him but she doesn’t really – and he knows it.)
“here. take it,” she says, handing him the flyer. “i guess i’ll see you at training, right?”
“i can’t believe this,” he deadpans, both ignoring her words and the flyer that she’s holding out to him. “you spend all this time clowning me for this and now you’re here too. after everything,” he shakes his head, crossing his arms as he just gazes back at her. it’s almost funny that this is where she’s ended up, considering that they had been trainees together before as well.
hyunggu rolls his eyes playfully, snatching the flyer out of her hands with a laugh. “yeah, i’ll see you at sphere, hoobae.”
What should I do, oh my, I’m in pain
@rkkyg backtracked to jan 27, 2020 ( this wasn’t submitted late i just took forever to reply to it dsbfjsd )
as per normal, yugyeom has found himself invading the living place of his best friend. he’d let dongmin know he wouldn’t be home tonight so the other didn’t worry or anything–ranting about the trouble he went through for said best friend–before heading over well before hyunggu would get back from training. he had somethings to set up and with the help of their mutual friends ( seungmin and jaehee ) as well as hyunggus’ not-boyfriend-who-is-totally-his-boyfriend, yuto, yugyeom feels he got a rather good set up going for when the other arrives home.
that being said, absolutely nothing about the others apartment was changed other than one kim yugyeom loitering around it. he made no fuss when hyunggu got home, it was for all intents and purposes, a normal night.
when midnight hit is when shit went off.
the doorbell rings suddenly, and yugyeom was grinning ear to ear as he ran to open it before his friend could. on the other end was jaehee and seungmin–one also smiling and the other looking a bit disgruntled–holding presents and cake. “happy birthday hyunggu!” they both greeted in various levels of excitement. yugyeom too called a loud “happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!” and latched onto the younger as he let the older two get inside. “you’re so old now, how do you feel?” he grinned, fingers lightly jabbing into the others side. knowing fully well hyunggu can throw him off at anytime.
“watch it with the o-word” seungmin grouched as he set the cake box on the table only to get lightly pushed by a cheerful jaehee as she moved forward to also smush hyunggu. “happy birthday, 우리 애기~~~~” she grinned.
the cake was a cat themed one, and the gifts were various useful things ( new dance shoes from seungmin, some skin care from jaehee as well as cute cat themed (and purple themed) socks, a really cheesy card from yugyeom that was all kinds of sappy with the promise to continue treating him to dinner whenever, as well as a fluffy purple blanket ).
“i invited your dumbass boyfriend too but he had work and couldn’t get out of it so he told me to give this to you.” yugyeom said as things calmed down, handing a small gift bag to hyunggu. inside was a small card that read in japanese: happy birthday and happy new year. to someone who makes each year feel special. - yuto. and inside was two things. the first was a small box with a long cat necklace and the cat had purple gems for eyes. the second was a postcard of nagano that read “whenever you want to get away for a few days.” implying an open invitation to go with yuto on his trips home.
yugyeom, who knew what the gifts were, was scrunching his nose as he let hyunggu take it in before promptly killing the mood by attempting to smear cake across his friends face. “happy birthday!”
it’s normal for him to come home and find someone in his apartment nowadays, especially considering that both yuto and yugyeom knew his passcode and one of them needed to walk kadoya when they weren’t busy. his poor dog had suffered a lot recently and he had needed to ask for the help of his friends to make sure that the shiba was still getting enough walks -- and love. seungmin and jaehee had bot been a great help too, considering both of their schedules were not as demanding as his own.
therefore, he hadn’t really thought much about it when he had come home to kim yugyeom in his place.
honestly, he had mostly forgotten about his birthday, considering that his parents had deposited their regular amount into his bank account and he hadn’t really thought about it. his birthday was a regular day, mostly, considering that he had needed to go to training today.
when the doorbell rings at midnight, hyunggu looks up from his sorting of his clothes for tomorrow, squinting as yugyeom sprinted over, unsure of what it was. had the other ordered something that he hadn’t been aware of? and he finds himself wandering over as well, curious. what’s on the other side makes his face split into a grin as he bounds the rest of the way towards the door, rushing to give jaehee a hug. (she would always be his favourite nuna.) he then ends up just laughing when yugyeom latches onto him, a grin on his lips as they move into the apartment properly and glancing at the cake.
he moves to open his presents after admiring the cake, ooh-ing and aah-ing at the shoes and socks and then at the blanket which he immediately wrapped around his shoulders before moving to give everyone a hug again. it turned out that his birthday wouldn’t be forgotten after all.
at yugyeom’s next words, he moves to punch the other on the shoulder, frowning. “he’s not my boyfriend,” he comments, needlessly, knowing that his best friend was just teasing. the gift bag surprises him though, though while they had all been talking he had seen the texts from yuto, and now knew what he had been referring to. the cat necklace makes him smile, touching the gems gently before he just stares at the postcard, recognizing the photo because of how many pictures of nagano he had looked at once he had found out yuto was from there.
he’s quietly marveling at the present before he’s suddenly assaulted with a smear of frosting across his face, and his eyes flick up to huff at his best friend. “i’m going to get you for that!” he declares, before retaliating by doing the exact same thing.
oh well, at least he had gotten a picture of the cake before they destroyed it.
✞* blinded ╯
danielxrk:
crying at all is humiliating, let alone in the presence of someone else. is it better or worse that he thinks he and hyunggu are in the early stages of a promising friendship? hyunggu could think he’s crazy and this might ruin everything. it’s undoubtedly awkward, made even worse by the fact that hyunggu thinks he’s apologizing for getting the move wrong instead, which admittedly, daniel probably would. yeji’s voice comes into his mind, saying don’t apologize, just do it right. he wonders if she’d tell him not to apologize for crying either, or to just suck it up and do what needs to be done. probably the latter. it’s why he tried so hard to fight back his emotions in front of the others, and why he feels like such a failure and burden now.
hyunggu is kinder than daniel expected, anxiety always painting out the potential to be so much worse than reality. “thank you,” he mutters, and dabs at his wet cheeks. “i’m sorry,” he apologizes again, on impulse, this time for the inconvience– for interrupting their practice, and for the uncomfortable position he’s put hyunggu in. does he want to talk about it, though? daniel hesitates in uncertain silence.
he’s all nervous energy, always, but he trusts hyunggu more than most in sphere. every time he thinks of him he thinks of that time, seated next to him, on the mgas, following sungwoon and eunji’s mistakes that eventually led to their elimination. he remembers how he tried to lighten the air, and he always appreciated that, and still does. maybe, hyunggu could lighten the weight on daniel’s shoulders again. he just fears that his worries will sound so foolish to someone else, like he’s grieving nothing, overdramatic and irrational. he doubts hyunggu would say that much, though, manners preventing it.
maybe that’s enough. “i don’t know,” he admits, and heaves a deep breath, trying to compose himself, but still irredeemably overwhelmed. “you remember my band, right?” maybe empty enigma made less of an impact on the mgas than he thought. he doesn’t know if it would be a shame or a relief. maybe the former, for how much they suffered because of their appearance– for how much daniel is to blame for the way everything fell apart. “and how kenta and woojin got signed?” it’s clear that woojin isn’t a trainee anymore, at least.
he stops. how does he say the next part without seeming undedicated? how does he continue without showing the fact that he isn’t cut out for being a trainee, and never was? “well, they aren’t trainees anymore, and…” i only signed my contract because i didn’t want them to be alone. he only signed his contract because he made sure they didn’t go into the mgas alone, and never imagined a scenario where they would become trainees without him. before long, they weren’t trainees without him, and now..he’s a trainee without them, instead. “it’s hard.” he wipes at his eyes again, then switches gears suddenly. “i’m sorry. i feel ridiculous; i just need to focus.”
he thinks he would consider them friends. they’ve known of each other for a while now, and had even participated in the mgas together, despite never being on the same team. he doesn’t dwell on many things concerning the mgas because those are in the past now -- and also, because he had won. he doesn’t even care about what a lot of the comments had said at the time, pushing those out of his ind now that he was a trainee and was working hard towards a goal, a dream, that he had had since he was much younger.
and it never hurt to be friends with people he was going to potentially debut with in the future, considering the fact that he probably would end up debuting with a majority of the sphere male trainees -- there had been so many trainees coming and going that if they didn’t include the convex members, he would probably be considered one of the seniors. which was strange since he had only been signed a few months ago. but he’s used to it, used to the turnover of trainees and the fresh faces that would come and go and the older faces that would leave sometimes too. he hopes that the friends he makes wouldn’t be leaving.
“it never hurts to talk about it,” hyunggu reassures the other male, not minding the break. he had thought they probably needed one anyway, the adrenaline making him bounce on his feet as daniel starts speaking. “yeah,” he answers the question he’s asked, remembering the band well. they had been notorious this season, though he doesn’t know why they had gotten as much hate as they did, considering he had met most of them and had thought they were all pretty cool people.
he remembers noting that woojin hadn’t been coming around anymore, having signed within a week of him and remembering being lost and confused together though they hadn’t spoken much during those beginning days. then he had skipped off to seocho and befriended other trainees, and hadn’t kept up. “i get it,” he tries to reassure the other trainee, clapping a hand on his shoulder just for a moment of solidarity. his past hasn’t come up, but he was a trainee in another company before sphere and his group had been dissolved right before debut. the bitter taste of defeat had never really left his tastebuds, to this day.
“yugyeom got eliminated too, remember?” he says, though the situation is quite different. “i almost didn’t want to keep going in the mgas without him ... but i’m waiting still,” he says, shrugging a bit, trying to lighten the topic. “maybe it’s a way of the world saying you need to branch out and not only rely on the same four people for your entire life.”
+ rkjan20eval performing poison by vav / centers
this eval was definitely one of the easier ones by far. he’s always been a performer and that’s always what he knew he was going to be eventually. whether it be by busking forever until he’s forced to do something else, or if it was by debuting and being on stage -- he knew he couldn’t settle for anything else aside from a life of performing, nothing else interested him as much, and hyunggu wasn’t the type of person to settle for something he didn’t enjoy doing for a living.
the song they’re performing is a good one -- he’s been really enjoying practicing for it, despite some of the more emotional blunders he had to deal with. the song itself is one that he enjoys as well, and he wonders almost if this was the sound that the heads of sphere imagined for the future of the sphere boys. hopefully he could get the position to be center and main dancer for this future group.
after practicing for the last month with the other boys, he thinks he wouldn’t mind if he debuted with this group. they seemed to work decently enough together, and he got along with most of them decently.
the eval performance itself is nothing bad either -- he gives everyone a reassuring nod as they’re called up, proud of the progress they had made during the camp and all the extra hours they had put in afterwards. the dance is one he enjoys, though he half wishes that they had been allowed to sing for it too, to really have him push himself harder. it was like the special performance at the green ribbon event, where they got to perform a sunbae’s song live.
his own center parts are ones that he enjoys, though he doesn’t allow a smile to cross his face during the performance, knowing that he was supposed to be sly and sexy rather than playful. he’s always been good with his facial expressions and this is nothing different, not with all the practice he’s put into it. the almost four minutes of the song pass by almost too quickly, and before he knows it, he’s holding the ending pose with everyone else as the song finishes.
he straightens up afterwards, panting softly under his breath but his grin returns to his face. another eval finished and another step closer to debut.
[ kkt ;; ネコちゃん ] 誕生日 おめでとう♡♡♡ [ kkt ;; ネコちゃん ] we're the same age again huhuhuhu [ kkt ;; ネコちゃん ] i left your gift with gyeommie :o [ kkt ;; ネコちゃん ] if you're free soon, let me take you to dinner? my treat ~ [ kkt ;; ネコちゃん ] happy birthday, ggu
⟨ 카카오 메시지 : ❝ 子犬ちゃん ❞ ⟩▬ありがとうございました▬ we were only different ages for what ▬ four days? ▬ ㅋㅋㅋ▬ okay i’ll make sure to harass him for it when i see him >:) ▬ let’s get dinner on the weekend! ▬ thank you~ ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ
@rkdoyum backdated to jan 27
( * msg – 꾸형
> happy birthdaaayyy to the coolest hyung in the world > happy birthday to the best dancer in the world > happy birthday to my gay father 😫🤘 > whom i love a lot > i hope u have a good birthday!! > if you’re going to seocho anytime this week let me know!! > i have smth for u :)
⟨ 카카오 메시지 : ❝ 귀여운 여미 ❞ ⟩ ▬ awwww doyummmmmmieeeeeee ▬ you’re so cute ▬ my gay son ▬ clutches chest ▬ i spent it training but it was a good day anyway! ▬ tell me what days you’ll be there and i’ll make sure to also be there ▬ love youu 💖
@rkkyg:
( kkt > 내애기 > hey brat > i mean best friend who i love > ❤ how have you been? ❤ > i need a favor
⟨ 카카오 메시지 : ❝ gummy 🍡 ❞ ⟩ ▬ no
♡ 💬 ➢
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knnovation: everyone, be happy today also 🙂
✞* blinded ╯
⊰ ◝ @rkkhg ⊱
all things considered, january’s evaluation should be easier than november’s. they’re both dancing, but january’s is only one song. there’s no one else to compare them to, a choreography taught specifically for them for this purpose. there’s no aju nice, with all of its jumping and exhaustion. there are still difficult parts of poison, but when it comes to the dancing, he could be confident. he could do well. his dancing has improved a lot even since november when he first signed to sphere. all of the potential is there, but there’s also a wall he just can’t get past to make it all click and come together.
he knows what it is, too. this month is his most difficult in sphere by far. not only is there no woojin like there was for november, but there is no kenta roaming the seocho complex; he can’t think of kenta, practicing for the same evaluation with his own song, and take comfort in that fact. he is the last of empty enigma standing as a trainee, and he only ever wanted to be here so no none of them would have to be alone. now the one alone is him.
he tries not to show it. he doesn’t have a right to be upset, and especially no right to hinder the rest of his group, so he keeps quiet, and keeps to himself, and keeps smiling, and pretends his mistakes are because he’s bad at dancing and not because his heart and mind aren’t in it.
sometimes he stays late to practice and sometimes he doesn’t. he knows he needs to do better, but sometimes he wishes he could be anywhere else, and he can’t bear to spend more time than required of him. tonight is one of the former, deep down still determined to do well, if only so he doesn’t burden or embarrass his team. if the mgas taught him anything it was not to let his emotions and mourning get in the way of their success, so he tries to live according to that.
hyunggu is by his side, helping him out with the choreography, staying longer than he needs to just to provide daniel his assistance, and he knows he doesn’t desire this kindness. he wonders if hyunggu would still do it, knowing his doubts, and how close he came to terminating his own contract. he’s only still here because he has no where else to go, his band fractured due to sungwoon’s pending enlistment even with everyone but him free from a contract.
he stumbles over a move, and it must be some instinctive lowering of his guard now that it’s after schedules, and the others aren’t with him, that makes his throat tighten. he pauses to try to collect himself, but his vision blurs and the tears come despite his fighting, so he rubs at his eyes to try and hide them. it wouldn’t be the first time he’s cried while practicing, but it would be in the presence of someone else. “sorry,” he apologizes, and he’s sorry for so many things.
he’s not going to lie -- he loves these evaluations that are focused on dance. it’s not hard to see why, of course, considering he’s a dancer and a performer and just in general someone who likes to be active. he might be a singer, a wannabe composer and producer, but first and foremost he’s a dancer and choreographer. so he loves these evaluations where he just gets to pretty much enjoy himself. and it’s even better when he gets to really go back to his roots and help his fellow trainees by either learning the dance or figuring out moves.
sometimes hyunggu does miss being free though. it’s nice being a trainee though, and working towards his dream again -- one that he had thought was out of reach once his first debut group had been forced to disband and he had turned to busking for hi adrenaline rushes. but now that he’s had a taste of the stage, he really doesn’t think he could go back to just performing on the streets and teaching dance to young kids. he misses it, but he wouldn’t go back, no matter how much he sometimes wishes he didn’t have so many people breathing down his neck.
he misses his freedom, but that’s not much to give up for a life on stage. not for him at least.
staying late to practice becomes a norm for him though, after all these months of being a trainee. he’s gotten a feel for the lifestyle again, not mourning his lazy mornings too much. but staying late to practice doesn’t often mean practice -- it’s usually an excuse to choreograph new songs for his youtube channel, or to practice covers of songs that he enjoys. but this month’s evaluation song is a good one and he really does enjoy the parts that he’s received. so he stays late to practice the dance, make sure that every time he’s in the front he shines. he wants everyone to know who he is, and not be able to take their eyes off of him. that’s his goal.
but today, he’s joined by someone else. a friend -- he’s not sure if daniel considers him a friend, but hyunggu thinks everyone is a friend, honestly -- that he’s helping with the dance. when the other male stumbles, he’s quick to be at his side, holding his elbow gently. “it’s fine, don’t worry -- why are you apologizing?” and it’s then that he notices the tears.
shit.
he moves to the side where his bag is sat, and he grabs a bottle of water from where he had set a handful of them and then tissues. thank god he’s gotten used to being prepared for things, considering one his hyungs from busking used to just toss things into his bag for him. he returns, placing the tissue into the other’s hand, unsure of what else to do. “um. do you -- do you want to talk about it?”
now that’s what i call a beautiful boy!!
˟ ▀ drag .
even if she may ( read: does ) enjoy her time at sphere far more than she ever did at trc, there are still things about the company that make sua want to roll her eyes and give up on the performing dream completely. it usually comes after moments of being told to do something that she doesn’t want to do, and although sua isn’t the type of person to just take an order lying down - sphere coaches at this point are her boss, and she can’t just tell them to fuck right off either.
“ what a drag.” she mutters under her breath, collapsing into a seat with a grimace next to hyunggu. “ not sure why they bought out my contract if they were going to nitpick my voice for the entirety of vocal lessons.” sua purses her lips and flattens them into a line, eyes flicking over to the trainee next to her. they’ve known each other for awhile now, but sua hasn’t ever really gotten to talk to him about training since she’s been here. “ though i guess it’s better than trc by a long shot ..” she rests her chin in a palm, voice flat as she speaks. “ so. do you like it here?” or do you miss your old life?
˟ ▀ &. @rkkhg
complaints are nothing new to him. he finds himself complaining about the smallest things sometimes, though he also tries his best to convince himself otherwise and remind himself that he’s working towards something that he’s wanted for years and that there’s going to be a lot of blood and sweat and tears put into this dream. since he was signed after the mgas, he’s taken his fair share of scoldings and constructive criticism from the coaches and trainers and he knows he needs to take those suggestions laying down and just continue working and striving to improve himself. thankfully, they’ve never been too harsh.
he’s his own worst critic after all.
hearing sua speak, he glances over at her and raises an eyebrow, an invite for her to continue. they’ve known each other before they were trainees, and now as trainees in the same company. “i wouldn’t know, honestly,” hyunggu comments with a laugh, considering he’s never been a trainee in any of the big 5 companies. his old company was a much smaller one. “i don’t mind it here ...” he sighs, shrugging. “though i admit i miss just being a busker. the freedom ... i took it for granted. are you enjoying yourself here?”
new in town
rkpjihyo:
“that is a grand idea.” honestly, it was something she would be completely down for. she was sure that the trainee’s at sphere could come up with some fun costumes. and as she said that, they arrived at a studio. it was also cool to see another trainee interested in producing. she was sure there was a fair share of people who were interested, she just hadn’t spoken to them yet. “alright, here we go.” jihyo tossed him a grin and opened the door to the studio, stepping inside so he could follow her in.
“and we’ll do the roof right after.” with that, she plopped down in one of the chairs in the room. “like i said, the space is free to use if you want and as long as no one is there.” she had passed by the room a few times and heard people working on music. “i haven’t found the time to use it much but i also have a set up at home.”
he steps inside after her and his eyes are wide. of course, he’s had his own place to work on his music and whatnot, and also his own place to choreograph and just fool around to different songs and just dance in general. but seeing what a professional set up looks like, at an actual entertainment company -- it’s pretty fucking cool. he glances around and takes in the different machines, wondering how much some of them are and if it was possible for him to invest in one or ask his parents to help him get one for his home studio. that would be great.
“this is pretty cool actually,” hyunggu comments, glancing around and running his fingers over the keyboard in the room. he’s not the best, but he knows enough to be able to compose at least. “i have a setup at home too, but this is giving me inspiration to expand -- do you write a lot of stuff? or, produce or whatever?”
♡ 💬 ➢
8,906 likes
knnovation: ㅋ
+ old playing grounds
two dancing idiots. @rkkyg
it’s been a long time since the last time he had ventured into hongdae on his own accord. he’s been there recently enough for the one eval where they had fucking gone there to busk, like that wasn’t his old job or whatever, and it had made him almost nostalgic for the old days. of course, he doesn’t regret signing the contract and he doesn’t regret the mgas or becoming a trainee, but he does miss dancing on the streets and interacting and performing with his old fans.
knowing that he needed to keep a low-ish profile, he dons a mask and a bucket hat, pulling said hat low over his eyes to cover his face and his newly dyed brown hair -- hyunggu heads to where his knows his best friend is busking tonight, having checked his instagram after training had ended.
he finds a spot in the crowd, behind yugyeom, knowing the other would end soon and then he could ambush him. a few of his old fans are there too, or well, fans of dynamite and they recognize him almost right away. he grins behind the mask and gestures for them to shush and that he’s trying to surprise yugyeom. though, he’s pretty sure he might have to interfere soon if his best friend picks up the microphone anytime soon.